#so massively fucked up rn

[scaryvampirelady]

no lyric written or sung by any man will EVER EVER EVER EVER be able to scrape the surface of what i feel when i hear one (1) word uttered by florence welch

#florence welch #cassandra #girls against god #king #dream girl evil #mother #delilah #howl #hurricane drunk #and so many more #so massively fucked up rn

[shima-draws]

God gives his toughest battles (being at work DESPERATELY wanting nothing more than to be at home playing the new Genshin Fontaine update) to his bravest soldiers (me)

#Shima speaks #Genshin Impact #I PUSHED IT LAST NIGHT EVEN. I went to bed later than I should have bc I was having TOO MUCH FUN... #I have a lot of thoughts but here are some #A. STEAMPUNK STEAMPUNK STEAMPUNK STEAM PU #B. Fontaine gives me MASSIVE Unova vibes. Mountainy region with lots of pine trees.....also reminds me of home irl #C. THE UNDERWATER SECTIONS ARE SOOOOOO COOL AND SO FUN AND SO PRETTY AND SO #D. I got Lyney on literally my LAST pull call that lucky ducky #E. The update was TOO chonky....I had to delete HSR off my iPad bc Genshin's so FUCKING thicc. WHY is it so thicc #I was able to redownload HSR onto my phone bc my phone ACTUALLY has decent storage space. #I mean my iPad has 64 gigs but Genshin takes up like. 40 of that #And HSR is around 13 gigs rn #My iPad was like nope can't do it fam ;) #Me: NAURR!!!!! #Anyway I'm the bearer of the curse (being at work wanting to play in Fontaine so so so SO bad)

[stardust-vi]

Dumb ramble but I hate that you can't critique The Thing you love within a fandom space without some dude breathing down your neck like "Well actually that means you hate The Author and The Thing! And what about all the times The Author did this Good Thing? Checkmate, liberal." as if you can't be critical of something because you love it and want it to be better.

#just. i'm in a rush rn so i'm probably not articulating myself well and i could go more in-depth with my thoughts #at the risk of someone spinning my words into “cringe blue hair pronoun wants to cancel araki!” which... will happen inevitably #even though i don't know how many times i can repeat “i do not hate araki #this is specifcally about jjba btw because like. #look i love it and araki has done some good things (or at least had good intentions in most cases) #but i'm so over the fact he constantly has to reach for some form of traumatizing women in his writing #and I already hear “well it shows they're a villain!” #but does he HAVE to use assault? why does he have to use that instead of demonstrating their villainy in other ways #that don't need to use it as a crutch #i'm not even saying you can't ever write about assault #that's not my argument either. #I'm not even accusing him of being a bad writer or person but just. Can we please retire the overusage of assault for shock value? #i obviously don't hate people who enjoy the series regardless #i'd be a massive fucking hypocrite #i mean i've literally been in this damn fandom for 6 years and just now decided to post my art. #but i'm tired of any time someone brings up legit criticisms of the misogyny in his writing #it's met with “but araki did this-” like it changes anything. #i'm glad he did somewhat improve writing women over time compared to the earlier parts #that said. that doesn't cancel out the blunders he did make or will make in the future #even if he has good intent. #or really any criticism of the writing being hit with “but its not supposed to make sense #anyways rant over. probably going to delete later bc im tired. #tw assault #assault tw

[pbnmj]

actually you know what the mcu was absolutely evil for introducing spider-man and immediately making him follow iron man around and then ALSO using him as a prop to make iron man look cooler meanwhile peter barely gets a faithful story of his own IN HIS OWN MOVIES

#sorry that it takes like. one textpost to get me writing a paragraph wall #THE FACT. IRON MAN . IS A MASSIVE PLOT POINT IN HOCO AND ALSO IN FFH. BROTHER I DO NOT FUCKING CARE ABOUT THIS GUY #DO NOT GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON THE SONY MOVIES . I AM SO . FUCKING . INSANE RN #I MISS HARRY SOOOOOOOO BAD I WANT PARKSBORN CODEPENDENCY NOWWWWWWWWWW #PERSONAL #THE FACT THAT HOCO IS 'peter is so young and naive he keeps making mistakes' #AND THEN FFH IS 'peter is so young and naive he keeps making mistakes' #AND THEN NWH IS 'peter is so young and naive he keeps making mistakes' #DUDE WHEN DOES HE LEARN. WHEN DOES HE GET CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT #ALSO THE FACT HE JUST . EVERY MOVIE HE FINDS OUT TONY IS ACTUALLY AN EVEN WORSE PERSON THAT HE PREVIOUSLY BELIEVED AND #NOOOOTTTTHINGGGGGG IS DONE ABOUT IT #the fact it took 3 movies of fucking around and it ended up with the mcu implying he's going to be more comics accurate. or at least less .. #like that.... #like you have a trilogy to do something with spidey and also an EXTENDED UNIVERSE and nothing happens #the nymcu (new york marvel cinematic universe) where its just daredevil and spider man and some select avengers that i like is very real to #me. VERY real to ME #we also seriously have to lower the stakes i'd love for him to be a friendly neighborhood spider-man #im not joking. why was he even in england. like just write any semblance of plot so peter feels responsible and FOLLOWS beck to england #because he literally cannot leave it alone. because it is his responsibility. because he cant help but think this is his fault #mostly a joke cause i dont love england but still. #SOMEHTING LIKE THIS PLEASE. PLEASE PPPPLLLLLEEEAAAAASE (the sniper on the opposing rooftop takes the shot and kills me) #edit: excuse me everybody i am not hating on tasm i love andrew garfield so much i can look over its issues #i AM hating on the weird little fucking spiderman universe theyre making without a spiderman. LMFAO #like what is sony thinking . WHAT. #morbius and also the kraven movie i have so little hopes for you its insane #and i very much enjoyed the venom movies but theyre also soooo fun as a standalone #where eddie is just going a widdle batshit

[skiitter]

no one talk to me i've been reading destiel fics for four straight days and i don't have a single compelling reason as to why.

#my life is just in absolute flux rn #living in my best friends guest room with ALL my shit AND my husband AAAANDDDD our cat until friday really has me fucked up #not to mention finding a new job #and moving AGAIN this weekend #ugh #look sometimes a bitch just wants a veritable feast of options okay??? #do you have ANY IDEA the depth of variety to be found in massive ships???? #its unreal #i've exhausted dhr and furthermore have more or less moved on from that ship and fandom for now #and like i've seen all of supernatural i love cas #so anyway whatever im living my best life #destiel #also a lot of my beloved mutuals are having supernatural moments rn and i am being influenced

[beelzzzebub]

do i go to sleep bc it's christmas and i know my family will be up in the morning. or do i watch doctor who / read more go fanfiction bc i want to

#boink #asking the real questions #feeling so very alone rn #bleh #i've felt disappointed at my level of excitement for christmas before #because it's such an event in my life #an event where everything is the exact same and i really need that #but this year that's already fucked up #and even the smallest things have changed #big things. massive things. and then even the small things so i can't even focus on those #anyway any time i think that maybe we can just have the day. i remember what's been. idk. going down. #and i just #i'm apathetic #i hate that i am #i want to be as happy as i always am #god i mean i'd rather be desperate for it like i've been the last couple years #but instead i don't want it to happen at all #i wish i could postone #anyway #it is what it is #really not that big of a deal #i'm just a dramatic bitch #i should chill out

[lostlovepunk]

i just remembered the usa concept of student loans and time and time again it seems more cruel to me

like. i am a bit of a screw up academics-wise. i dropped out of three different unus after two semesters at most and i also worked a job that didn't need much of an education for six months in between. and i was able to do that bc i pay like 300 euros to my unis per semester, and like half of that goes into a public transport ticket. if i had to get along in y'all's system i would have drowned in debt by now. or taken much more drastic measures to keep myself going where i thought i wanted to go when i was 17. it seems to me like they really don't leave you much of a choice, in any direction. wherever you think you might want to go after highschool, you're kind of doomed to keep walking in that direction if you aren't filthy rich. so many people are probably grieving a future that was unattainable to them in some way or another, because they chose to do something at first and then couldn't afford to change paths, because of a disability that made your whole schooling system impossible to bear, or a thousand of other reasons.

and this might just be ramblings, and it's just a perspective of someone who never had to experience said system. but i think y'all should start to burn shit to the ground

#spike spoke #politics #and suicidality tw for the tags to follow: #i think if i had had debt on top of just feeling like a massive screw up bc i couldn't deal with my shit at 18 #a year after moving out from my parents #i mightve actually killed myself #like that's such a massive pressure and for what #people here can go 40 semesters of studying and people look at them kinda funny #but they have some kind of job next to it and it fucking works #if everything had gone like i hoped it would when i was 17 and fresh out of highschool i would be writing my bachelor's thesis rn #and i am so fucking thankful that being a screw up is possible here #it's not fun or sustainable #but it's a possibility without being entirely ruined

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Just found out my two siblings are in my mom's will, but not me. Also my grandpa has told the entire family about his engagement. Except for me. Also my dad told my siblings that he and my mom bought a plot of land. Can you guess who they haven't told?

#these tags are about to be a massive trauma dump tbh so avoid if you want #when i was fifteen i came out as trans. and my mom was terrible about it. and my dad was up for a promotion so we were considering moving #and i found a list of my moms pros and cons for moving. on the pros was 'people there dont know about (deadname)' #so that was ideal for a suicidal fifteen year old to find. and tonight i just learned that im not in her will #both of my siblings are. but im not. and its just always been like this #im treated like im not part of the family anymore. and it's been that way since i was fifteen #i heard from my brother that my grandpa is engaged. and he told both my siblings about it directly. he never told me #i reach out to my parents. i never hear back. my aprents text my sibling to check on me (sib and i live together) #everything is kind of shit rn. one of my rats is dying. my family doesnt love me. im broke. my best friend and i arent really talking #because he fucked my ex gf and now things arent really the same anymore. strangely enough. he doesnt reach out anymore #so i have no one to talk to about any of this shit #last night i was crying about my rat and i guess my roommate heard it cuz this morning they said #'are you okay? if you ever need someone to talk to who will never bring it up again you can talk to me' #and thats the most loving thing ive heard from someone in months. from a woman ive known since august #im. just. at a loss. since i found out tonight. that im not in my mom's will #its not about money. or assets. its about the fact that im her fucking child and both of her other children are in it but im not #after she dies shes willing to help them out but i can get fucked ig #i wonder if im gonna be invited to my grandpas wedding. i wonder if any of them would want me at their funeral #i wonder if any of them would come to mine

[ofalltheginjoints]

#my fatal flaw is actually that i will never actually give anyone consequences for treating me like shit #like. you could stab me and i’d probably apologize to you #i got an uber bc i really didn’t want to wait 45min for the bus (plus the hour bus ride) #and like i literally hadn’t even buckled my seatbelt before the driver started complaining to me about how he’s losing so much money on #this trip and how lyft is screwing him over and that i should tip him $10 for his troubles and like. #i asked him if he wanted me to get out and find another one and he just kept avoiding the question #while still telling me how much this trip was costing him and quite literally making me feel like shit for requesting the ride #and i ended up changing the drop off location to somewhere that was like. closer bc i just didn’t want to be in the car anymore #and after i did that he was still going #like. i’m sitting in the back of his car on the fucking highway getting berated bc i just wanted to fucking go home after work #and you know what i did? #gave him 5 stars and 25% tip bc ‘well he shouldn’t lose his job just bc i had a bad experience’ #but now im sitting here at a mall waiting for my mom to come pick me up and trying not to cry #and i wish i would’ve like. given a truthful ride review or just skipped it bc like #no i don’t want him to lose his job and if i give him one star he possibly could #but also that guy was literally being a massive dick to me and i literally tipped him for it. #i want to be a nice person always but like. i think sometimes me being nice is just letting ppl do whatever the want and being complacent #and i fucking hate it #after like a while of him going on i stopped him and was like #hey man i get its tough and i feel for you but it’s not my fault and i really don’t feel like talking rn #so im gonna put my headphones in #and this motherfucker goes ‘umm ok i mean thats kind of awkward but ok’ #LIKE YOU DIDNT MAKE IT AWKWARD THE MOMENT I GOT IN YOUR CAR #expect maybe im overreacting????????? #anyway. um everything is bad and terrible rn and i just wanna go home but ive still got an hour before my mom gets off work :) #if you actually read all of this i 1) am so sorry and 2) literally love u and also im sorry

[lesbianpegbar]

if they pull some shit where this cliffhanger didn’t matter and cheng xiaoshi gets on the boat and actually the timeline we’re seeing in the present is the same as the one in this dive and all the little details like the kettle and the eye colors and everything didn’t matter i’ll kill them

#LIKEEEEEE #this season so far has the potential to either massively disappoint or be insane #and idk which path they’re going down rn #i’m scared #i love you link click you drive me crazy. you better not fuck it up #link click spoilers #shi guang dai li ren #mine

[hauntingblue]

LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!

#luffy deflating like a balloon..... be serious 😭😭 #MOMO NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR LUFFY!!! oh kaido going for the others now..... law could hear his voice too??? #NAMI BEING THE FIRST TO STEP UP!!! CHILLS!!! THIS TIME STEPPING UP TO WITNESS THE HORRORS!!! YEAH!!! #yamato really does carry the spirit of oden straight up.... motivating his son and everything... #i feel like i am going insane... I CAN HEAR THE DRUMS!!! nami telling luffy to not die and fulfill his promise WHO ELSE HAD A PROMISE???? #is this why his fruit awakened.... because nami reminded him of the promise... omg..... THE DRUMS!!! CHILLS!!!! THE SMILE!!!!! IM SO HYPE!! #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 1070 #i am smiling so hard rn. contagious #also the cp0 that died for this ajdja.... suffering from success.... #THE BOUNCING SOUNDS!!!! THE DRUMS!!!! THE SMILE!!! SANJI JUST VOLTING AWAKE??? see the clouds over his shoulders remain.... as i was saying #you know this has me realising maybe shanks isn't all that bad and stole the fruit from the gov so they couldnt get hold of it #hiyori saying how oden kept hia promise but also how he wanted to keep the promise of opening wano for joyboy #THE KANJURO THING!!! HIYORI WATCH OUT!!! oh its gonna burn orichi by accident YEAAHHH!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHH!!!! #the animation is so fun.. luffy just junping around and shit while hia destruction power is MASSIVE #this is so!!!! kaido complaining about being bored and having fun thru fighting AND HERE COMES LUFFY WITH HIS LOONEY TOONS GOOFY FIGHT!!!! #they knocked this shit out of the park!!! also END CREDITS????! #episode 1071 #momo saying kaido got fat 😭 actually kaido got pregnant <3 yamato you're going to be a big brother congrats!!! #the eyes 😭😭 damn luffy flew away and exploded... 😞😞 skipping rope with kaido omg.... everyone should go outside and see this... #we are welcoming here in the luffy believers... barto is gonna enlist hundreds of new members #law is luffy believer number 1 damn the speech he is giving kid... omg kaido bonked him ajshaksjak that was so good he needed witnesses.. #nami worried abojt luffy being dead and when he appears she is just like WTF IS THAT!!!!!! HUH???!! #wait a second ooohhhh kaido is goong down too fuck yes akdjaksj momo and yamato peeking over the island jahdksk #THE DRUMS BEING HIS HEART I CANNOT GET OVER IT!!! Kaido shoukd be puking up his insides by now but alas this is so fun BOIOIOIOIOING #FIRST TIME SOMEONE ASKS LUFFY WHO HE IS AND HE DOESN'T SAY MONKEY D LUFFY FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES. HE SAYS ITS HIM. STRAIGHT UP!!!! #NVM HE SAID IT!!!!! GOD IS THAT YOU????!!!! #episode 1072

[imaginarianisms]

more asoiaf comparisons, parallels & antiparallels to the first dance of the dragons vs the second & final dance of the dragons (& possibly the sixth blackfyre rebellion): the blacks being daenerys i targaryen's supporters, the golds being aegon vi targaryen's supporters, tommen baratheon being a close equivalent to gaemon palehair & his mother essie & sylvenna sand which may be interpreted as a parallel with queen cersei lannister & taena merryweather of myr, trystane truefyre being a close equivalent to aegon/young griff & perkin being jon connington & the shepherd being the new high septon the high sparrow, dalton greyjoy being euron i greyjoy's ancestor & the latter surpassing him, alyn waters later alyn velaryon resembling aurane waters later aurane velaryon & finishing what their ancestors started. history repeats itself.

#out of the galaxy. || ooc. #LIKE!!!! LOOK AT THE PARALLELS BRUH #it kinda makes me wonder who the hightowers would support this time... #its literally so wild how history repeats itself #i think the lannisters would support aegon after he takes king's landing bc they're lowkey fucked either way. #cersei lannister's probably either in hiding at casterly rock or will end up as aegon's political prisoner. maybe jaime too idk. #i have no idea who would lead the lannisters on the side of the golds now that kevan's dead killed by varys tho... maybe genna lannister? #cersei jaime & tyrion's aunt? to parallel johanna lannister who attacked the ironborn like a boss bitch?? #i personally predict aegon'll marry sansa who would have the north the riverlands & the vale at her back—it'd be arranged by baelish & varys #i also think it's possible he'd take arianne martell as another wife to parallel aegon & his wives visenya & rhaenys. #so by taking sansa & arianne as his wives & queens both of whom are well beloved in their countries he'd restore honor to their houses. #bc aerys & later the baratheon dynasty was a terrible time for the starks & the martells so he brings the north & dorne back into the fold. #so by marrying sansa he honors & respects her given her past betrothal to joffrey & forced marriage to tyrion & mending what aerys did #particularly to her grandfather rickard stark & her uncle brandon stark & to her aunt lyanna stark. #& by marrying arianne he's restoring honor to house martell considering all the bs his mother elia martell experienced in king's landing. #(whether elia actually Is his mother or who he perceives her to be) & restoring the line of succession again in dornish hands #& they'd probably marry him on the condition that the northerners & dornish gets special rights & privileges that others don't. #& not to mention that the targaryens starks & martells have a common enemy. #polygamy's a big nono in the faith of the seven but that didn't stop aegon & his wives & im sure after everything w/ the faith rn?? #w/ cersei & the sparrows?? & considering aegon's actually a decent person & he'll be foreshadowed to be popular & loved?? #i don't think most would bat an eye tbh. i actually think daenerys would wanna talk to aegon first tho. #then everything & everyone around them goes to shit & they end up fighting bc like. daenerys wants SO BADLY to have a family. #so like i don't see her immediately perceiving aegon as a threat. #the starks & most of the north would prolly be wary of dany @ 1st due to aerys & having a MASSIVE army w/ three dragons until the long night #except for like. maybe jon. but anyway the martells could be slightly wary of dany bc of what happened with quentyn in meereen. #idk maybe there's a division in the north & dorne. i think sansa & arianne would actually get along personally. #anyway im presuming stannis is gonna be at the nightfort & i personally don't think he's ever gonna come south again. he'll die at the wall.

[cinna-bunnie]

i just finished iron blooded orphans and need to lay down for a bit

#it was so good #i don't have a lot of concrete thoughts rn just Feelings™ #it was SUCH a wild ride. I'm always kinda hesitant to talk about a show bc i feel like I'm gonna spoil it but it's also not new lol so?? #imma talk about it a bit anyways so tags after this will have spoilers #BUT SJFKGKDLA #so many people died 😭 imo the late deaths weren't as Sad™ as the earlier ones but still. #the way everyone changed their names and picked up new lives but still kept in touch with each other #and everyone finding Something because they kept moving forward. particularly Takaki in particular for me 🥹🤲 #hearing something as simple like if u see a lot of places and learn a lot of things u will have many options. but The Way he's #living that out is just 🤌 a long way from being human debris my boy 🫂 I'm so proud of him #and I'm glad that greedy arms freaking mf got shot up in the bathroom 😼 it's what he DESERVED!! #last episode just like. rly emphasizing that even though the group is done everyone still lives on and finds their niche #and it's tragic fr how many people had to die trying to realize a dream that happened anyways 😔 though it wouldn't have #without their deaths so.. i fuckn KNEW at the beginning of the second season when Olga got the warning #about how if ur taking shortcuts/fastest way possible ur going to regret it later was MASSIVE foreshadowing #and it's just like damn y'all r letting me know this early huh 😭imma enjoy the ride regardless and what a fucking ride it was #i almost want to watch it again but there are also Other gundam series i need to check out #not for a while though.. imma do some stuff around the house n maybe draw for a bit. #just rly sit on my feelings and the Experience i just had. thank u everyone who brought up IBO it was SOOOO fucking good #feel free to recommend other favorites of yours i should check out next. mecha anime has always been a blindspot too so #if y'all have any in general from the genre lmk ^~^

[asummersday]

when will my writing motivation return from the war 😭

#please i just wanna post the next chapter #or at the very least start a oneshot or do literally anything #ive been more tired than usual and i dont like that #im ALWAYS so so tired #sometimes YEAH its because im up til 3 or even 4 #but ive also slept 9 hours. 12 hours. and yet ill STILL feel so tired #im too tired to do the things i want to do #and then i feel like ive just wasted my whole day :((( #how many times these past few weeks have i said im gonna get this chapter done huh? and it is NOT done #i love creating and writing but it takes so much energy sometimes :((( and i just dont have it :((( #i feel bad/down -> writing would help me feel better -> too tired/unmotivated to write -> doesnt write -> keeps feeling bad #rinse and repeat lmao #sometimes being nice to urself and waiting for the motivation doesnt work #sometimes u gotta sit at ur desk with a massive mug of coffee and say ''i will WRITE if its the last thing i fucking do'' #screw quality its time to write WORDS #anyway. im making myself coffee rn. i will get through this dammit #summer post

[elijah-loyal]

dying again guys

(tag rant)

#bloodwork got back #i've got anemia #fucking hooray #anemia vitamin d deficiency and the weird cholesterol thing (not the bad one) #meanwhile im sick to my stomach in class and my body wants to throw up so badly #which is bad for me because im terrified of vomiting #and also I would get sent home and wouldnt be allowed to come back #which is NOT good #i need my schoolwork #i fucking hate being so sick all the damn time too #like my body geniunely just cannot handle anything #im so sick of being too sick to go to school and too sick to rehearse for theater and too sick to see my friends who are the people #that i love most dearly #im so sick of not being able to do regular stuff that other people can do because im so sick #im just sitting in class shaking right now after downing four pepto bismols that arent working either way #at least my eyes arent hurting now that i have glasses #small mercies i guess #it's just hard to stay positive rn but i'm trying! there will always be some good in the bad #no matter how fucking MASSIVE the bad is or gets #and maybe later today i'll be feeling well enough to smile #hug a friend #and remember that its okay that im sick; its not my fault that my body isn't wired properly #but its my responsibility to try as hard as i can and live <3 #(sorry for the tag rant)

[pepprs]

feeling misery and despair about going back to work btw. im trying to suppress it and i did a good job but the inevitable is inevitable

#purrs #i had like 3 massive breakdowns at the end of the week incl one on friday when i was off. and then i was like ok. i am literally weak and sh #shaking from all of that let me just pretend none of it happened. and i did!!! i pretended so well that i have felt basicslly normal all #weekend. i played a lot of video games and i even went out twice.. once to a chorus concert on campus (which is big bc being on campus ummmm #is deeply agitating to me rn ♥️) and today to home depot w my family to wander around the plants and hear the birds. i am suppressing things #and i know i am but if i don’t think about thst i feel so normal. except now it’s 11:16 on a sunday night and i have work tomorrow. and i #know most of the horrors are over but there are still so many more fucking horrors ahead. saying goodbye to people i love and anniversaries #of things happening including today being the 4 year anniversary of a certain email lol. and i can FEEL the difference. the way my stomach #is in knots bc weekends are only so long (even long ones) and i can only hold back the horrors for a little while. it’s all temporary. augh. #i literally need like a whole month off i think. idk. work stuff has fucked up my mental health beyond belief this year and it’s so sad bc t #this is my dream job but im in so much mental pain and physical exhaustion constantly and they beget themselves and by the end of the week #im miserable. but the semester is about to end. but what if it doesn’t get better bc EVERY single god damn time we talk about how it’s gonna #get better it quite literally gets worse lol 💖 i can’t im not strong enough. coming up on 5 years here and im not fucking strong enough! #but i will heal eventually i think. i just need the horrors to cease for long enough for me to catch my breath (and other redacted things ♥️