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pettyprocrastination · 1 year

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whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!

this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!

warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her.

So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak.

You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work

you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then

nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place.

On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after

it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him.

but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening.

its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail.

Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn

its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench.

there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency.

when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-

all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river

Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay

“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.”

he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself.

but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything

its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found.

Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there.

Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames.

“We’re gonna find her, but not there.”

So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did.

He became a smuggler because of it.

Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way.

But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course.

The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him.

But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles

“You think she would have wanted this for you?”

the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence.

“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.”

All he can do is nod.

It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit.

It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live.

Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago.

its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo”

when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them.

Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands.

He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face.

Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity.

“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?”

Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be.

But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.

“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.”

Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again.

“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.”

He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples.

“One.”

The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun.

“Two”

Wait. No, they both do.

“Three.”

Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins.

“Four.”

Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet.

Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?”

Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless.

Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.

When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same.

She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head.

“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”

He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun.

“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?”

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #i had an idea of something similar for tommy but on outbreak night he uh. abandons you instead of getting separated from you #because. angst :D #people say nice things #this was incredibly generous of you anon thank you so so much!#i may get myself a little starbucks drink this week now because I havent had starbucks since like january 1st lol #joel reeling from taking in all this information and also realizing he suckerpunched HIS OWN KID #id like to apologize for all the grammatical issues with this. this is just a bulletpoint word vomit to get my thoughts on the page before-#-beginning the actual fic. also I have to do a midterm tonight and this is my treat to myself hehe #but yes. joel getting separated from his wife on outbreak night and having to accept that shes probably dead #meanwhile youve lived this entire life without him because you think HES dead ad raising your boys all on your own #which just- further digs into his insecurities about failing in his role as a protector #he couldn't save sarah. he can't save ellie and he couldn't even save you #he thinks about you pregnant and alone. fending for yourself in a world full of infected and raiders and his chest grows tight again #this is all followed by Ellie going >:O 'you KNOW THIS PSYCHO?'and then joel immediately snapping at her to WATCH HER MOUTH #because that kid has no filter and he has to explain that youre his wife #anyways joels wife is a badass mfer who also maybe has a little garden and some chickens that you and your boys take care of <3 yeah .#reunion tag #ill be using that for this specific couple because I dont have a fic title yet but if anybody has suggestions!

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comradekatara · 5 months

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i've been thinking about the significance of toph's feet as the crux of her power against/alongside the practice of footbinding. considering her role situated within (an analog for) tang dynasty nobility, thinking through that cultural practice poses direct relevance regarding the overarching theme of how she transcends imposed boundaries, in terms of gender roles, class expectations, and of course along the axis of her disability. i can only gesture to these ideas because i lack the historical framework to construct a legitimate argument, but i'm wondering whether anyone more knowledgable regarding these historical contexts (@atlaculture comes to mind, but of course no pressure!) would like to extrapolate from these ideas.

#a couple weeks ago i did go down a footbinding rabbithole and started reading various sources #but i still feel like i'm not particularly qualified to make this argument #since i lack a background in how to construct arguments w/in historiographical discursive practices. just like. in general #although i suppose i can still gesture towards it by compiling sources & moments from the text #in like. a 'web weaving' way #though that might take more work than i have the bandwidth for atm lmao #i already have so many drafts and absolutely no time for postin #so i would love it if someone else could take the wheel here #should they be so inspired #again @atlaculture i rly admire your work but no pressure #and/or anyone else who feels qualified: please feel free to expand on this!#toph #i think abt poppy beifong specifically a lot actually #(sidenote: her name being poppy is quite loaded?)#she barely says a word. and yet she communicates so much...

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procrastinationaccount · 6 months

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Look me in the fucking eyes and tell me this girl is not trans

#momentary break from tltposting because it gets more obvious every time I watch this movie #Like. Come on.#And it's so good! For her character and as a spider-man narrative and as trans representation (even if it's not word-of-god canon yet)#atsv #gwen stacy #I know it's pretty much accepted on here but every time I think about the dipshits who complain(ed)#about people pointing out the obvious subtext it makes me so angry. Like did we watch the same movie? What's wrong with you?#I would say 'why are you so resistant to the idea of her character just existing as a trans girl?' but. We know. It just sucks.#The creators should just confirm that she's intended to be trans in the next movie. Like look at this shot there's no way she's not.

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tswwwit · 4 months

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I feel like at some point in the Familiar AU, someone (Ford? Secret Flirtagent who's made it his personal mission to ""rescue"" Dipper from Bill after nearly getting murdered?) snoops through Dipper's magic cellohone for clues on how to destroy Cipher. And this really is 70% of their texts.

Obviously Bill would have made it so if anyone besides he or Dipper tries to use the phone, they get a nasty surprise, but still.

(Thanks as always for the amazing writing!)

#answers #You're 100% right and you should say it #A good 80-90% of their texts don't show romance in a conventional way #And of that percent a lot of them are more domestic than you'd expect #Like 'I think it's your turn to pick up snacks' and 'did you clear the ultra-bees out of the living room yet'#Don't scroll up too far though or you might see something you regret Ford #They've been known to snap a few saucy pics and share some naughty texts #The federal agent trying to eliminate Bill is hilarious and a good idea #Heck knows he's probably alarmed as hell at this poor twink's situation #All this to say that this supposition is 100% accurate #Thank you so much for your kind words too! I'm glad you're enjoying my silly writing!#I enjoy making it

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luck-of-the-drawings · 6 months

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HOW DO YA LIKE THAT DARK DOG??

BEEN REAL ENAMORED BY THE 'SORRY' BOYS AND THEIR ODD ESCAPADES LATELY. I THINK THEY COULD DO A LOT OF GOOD THINGS WITH THREE GALLONS OF 'FAKE' BLOOD.

#sorry boys #sorry fanart #cw gore #cw body horror #DEAR GGODODDD I HOPE I TAGGED SORRY THE RIGHT WAY #PLEASE SORRY FANS IM HHEERE IM HERE AND IM CRAAZYYY GODDD PLEASE FIND MEEE FIND MEEEEEEEEE #GONNA BE HONEST IVE BEEN FLOPPIN BACK N FORTH ON THIS REAAAALL HARD LIKE. IM NOT SURE IF I LIKE IT #BUT EVERYONE WHO SEES IT SAYS ITS COOL! SO IMM GONNA TRUST IN THE WORD OF MY FRIENDS!!!!! THANK YOU FRIENDS!!!!#i tried to fit in as many things in the video as i could into his vile chest cavity. im rly proud of how jumbled n messy n fun it looks!#SOME THINGS TO NOTE! i painted over the bg of a specific shot from the video. painted over a portion of that LIGHT FIXTURE #BUT I Had to improvise the rest and im PRROUD LOOK AT THAT!!! WITH A MOUSE TOO BTW #DREW THIS WHOLE THING WITH A MOUSE. took some time but i think im gettin the hang of it #ANOTHER DETAIL: ranboos lil wires behind his mask. teeehehhehee i rly liked gen loss #i like this weird combo i do of cartoony and photo realistic. not sure where my balance is yet with that but im havin fun!!#ughghgh what else can i say abt this piece... other than it kicked my aASSSSSSS!!!#adding highlights in blood is always SSUCH A FIGHT for me guhhh it takes so much wrestling to make it look right....#ggbbhhbbgbh thats all thats in my brain for now. enjoy my art and enjoy my notes about my own art. enjoy ur day aswell if u can

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cienie-isengardu · 5 months

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I feel like if Bi-Han didn't love Kuai or was abusive it would've been stated. It'd also bring into question why Kuai would care to avenge him if he was treating him like trash. It's not Bi-Han is the only person he cares for, Tomas is literally right there. Like Kuai was jumping through hoops for this man and unless Bi-Han was some master manipulator which doesn't fit Bi-Han's personality since Bi-Han makes it really apparent when he doesn't like someone.

Seriously this is the guy who told Quan Chi his plan was insane to his face and Bi-Han's social skills are kind of lacking. You cannot convince me this guy was some puppet master. I'm not saying Bi-Han is dumb but he's not this master manipulator intent of using his brother's emotions.

Also why would he even bother? Seriously Bi-Han's main priority is survival, why would he care to manipulate his brother if he didn't care for him given it's not like he benefits from Kuai being around.

Kuai Liang was introduced as the younger brother of Bi-Han in Mortal Kombat II (November 1993) and their brotherhood has been a vital part of lore for literally three decades now. After such a long time, I too think if alive Bi-Han was ever meant to be seen as the abusive or uncaring brother, the source would outright say so already. Instead Mortal Kombat gives us a conflict between younger Sub-Zero and Noob Saibot, the resurrected yet corrupted by the dark magic version of Bi-Han. A corruption acknowledged by Kuai Liang himself, like he did in Mortal Kombat Armaggeddon:

And even within that conflict between alive Kuai Liang and Wraith Bi-Han, Noob Saibot was not always written as the vile creature out there to kill or hurt his younger brother for fun, which can be especially seen in an alternative timeline[1].

Did Kuai Liang idolize his brother? Most likely yes, as Bi-Han was his closest family he had and with unnaturally advanced ice skills, the older brother rose through ranks to the point Grandmaster acknowledged him as the most cunning Lin Kuei assassins. However it is not like Kuai Liang was completely blind to human Bi-Han’s flaws - the degree may vary from one source to another, like between one of the oldest Mortal Kombat comics (“he was stubborn in many ways”) and Mortal Kombat Legends: Snow Blind (“The dreams. For a long time, I thought the worst thing that I could become was my brother. I was wrong.”). The closest example I can think of in which Kuai Liang outright calling original Sub-Zero to be evil comes from Mortal Kombat: Defenders of the Realm TV animated series (1996) and even then it was said in context of serving the forces of Darkness, not if Bi-Han was abusive brother[2].

Yet within strictly game timelines, Kuai Liang may be angry at Noob Saibot, he may be disappointed by his brother’s (post mortem) choices but as far as I managed to check, he had never accused Noob Saibot of not loving him, or being uncaring or abusive when the man was alive. In contrast, Mortal Kombat 1 (2023) actually gives us Smoke’s accusation that MK1!Bi-Han was always cold to him and though this is not necessarily equal to being abusive, the game hints at an uneasy relationship between those two brothers. I don’t think original and alternative Kuai Liang has ever accused his Bi-Han of anything similar. Quite opposite actually, in MK11 Kuai Liang stated he thought (alive) Bi-Han shared the same values as him - while Noob Saibot noted that Kuai Liang always mimicked him. What may itself imply Kuai Liang's principles were inspired by elder brother.

The source material uses the word “corrupted” specifically to describe Noob Saibot, as to highlight that Noob is not the Bi-Han’s original self. Kuai Liang uses that word, and of all people he is the one that knew the best what kind of man Bi-Han was once. Otherwise I believe younger Sub-Zero would already remark that Bi-Han as an evil Wraith is no different from his human self and so far Kuai Liang did not say anything like that.

This is especially seen in Mortal Kombat 11 (2019) and Kuai Liang’s anger is understandable as Noob Saibot supported Kronika and Cyber Sektor that attacked and killed his clan members. However, as Sub-Zero’s ending shows, when he decided to study each second of Bi-Han’s life to understand what made his older brother the way he was, he tried to understand why Bi-Han’s embraced “Sektor’s corruption” and why "reveled in the vile power given to him by Quan Chi"

not why Bi-Han did not love him, or abused, or manipulated. Those have never been a matter of doubt, only the process of adapting into the darker side of Lin Kuei and life as Wraith . So once again, corruption by power - or even being a merciless assassin, does not necessarily mean Bi-Han was a bad brother. I know that for the majority of fandom one equals the other, however Kuai Liang has never accused Bi-Han of being on purpose cruel or uncaring toward him. If anything, the problem lies in the fact that Bi-Han embraced all the bad things that happened to him. Again, like the ending says, Kuai Liang needed to reshape Bi-Han's life (events) not Bi-Han’s whole character to get back the beloved brother he missed. So the problem did not lie in Bi-Han’s character itself, but in things that happened to him.

And frankly, there is a lot to say about the fact that Bi-Han rarely speaks about honor in contrast to Kuai Liang, and how in general he is more aware of Lin Kuei’s dark deeds than his brother ever was. The original Sub-Zero seems to be much more disillusioned with how the world works and thus better at adapting to its cruelty. He even warned Kuai Liang in the past to never trust anyone, especially a family, and it is like the opposite act to manipulation. At the same time, Kuai Liang too was accused of having a “frozen heart”.

I think that ultimately it all comes down to what fans want - a tragedy about two brothers that by twist of cruel fate are destined to be enemies or story about a survivor of abuse/pathological system coming in terms of his trauma and realizing his brother was not a good man and building for himself a new, healthier life. Each story has a great potential on its own, however I personally feel that Mortal Kombat has never truly gone with the second scenario. Kuai Liang being blind to his brother and clan’s darkness may make sense when he does not have an outside relationship that made him rethink his own brotherhood with Bi-Han. Yet Kuai Liang, even a much older, experienced man still recognizes Noob as the corrupted version of Bi-Han, not the same man just with a different outfit. Despite all the bad blood between him and the Wraith, he has never truly abbadon hope to save his brother’s soul, so at least to me, it doesn’t sound like a man freeing himself from abuse and trauma by rejecting an evil family.

And also, if we agree that Kuai Liang was either so indoctrinated by the clan or lacked any other support to recognize the abuse when it happened to him, then the same benefit of doubt should be given to Bi-Han, as he grew up in the same pathological environment. You can’t excuse one survivor of abuse and then condemn the other. The brothers dealt with their trauma in different ways but this is not good victim vs bad victim contest.

As for Bi-Han manipulating anyone... he was introduced in Mythologies: Sub-Zero as the most cunning Lin Kuei assassin and Noob Saibot was too hinted to be smart and biding his time while serving Shinnok, Quan Chi and Shao Kahn. So I believe he could be pretty cunning when needed. But yes, the man doesn't feel like a person bothering with manipulation for the fun of it. Sub-Zero, like all cryomancers in general(?), was a pretty straightforward man. Like I mentioned before, from source material it seems to me he rather kept warning Kuai Liang about not trusting anyone (and he did that as Noob Saibot too in MK11's intro dialogues) than playing on his younger brother’s loyalty. But to be honest, we don't have enough sources to say for sure how growing up in Lin Kuei looked for both.

SIDENOTES:

[1] Sadly, MK11 did not fully utilize the conflict between Redemption (Kuai Liang) vs. Recognition (Noob Saibot!Bi-Han) alluded by the official BIOs and intro dialogues. Frankly, the mentioned game barely did anything with their brotherhood in main story mode, however the intro dialogues paint an interesting take on brothers feelings toward each other, especially Noob’s one toward Kuai Liang, as they differ from original timeline Noob. Back then he was out there “free from compassion” [MK Deception]

and at least twice tried to murder his brother (attack on Lin Kuei/MK Armageddon and Noob-Smoke’s ending/MK Deception), while in the MK11’s intro dialogues for example, he does not side with Frost - who from story mode perspective was the logical ally, as she wanted to kill Kuai Liang. Instead Noob openly dislikes and disrespects her and even criticizes his brother for trusting her in the first place. Similar thing happens with Geras ordering Noob to bring Sub-Zero to Kronika and suddenly Noob goes with his standard “only death are my kin”

Geras: Bring your brother to Kronika. Noob Saibot: The dead are my clan now. Geras: Do you serve or do you not?

while he has no problem acknowledging his and Kuai Liang’s brotherhood. The intro dialogues in second timeline definitely played a different angle than Noob as Bi-Han completely stripped of his humanity. And again, sadly NRS did not dwell on it in the main story.

[2] Mortal Kombat: Defenders of the Realm actually referred to events from the Mortal Kombat film (1995), in which Liu Kang killed Sub-Zero thanks to Kitana’s advice to use an element “that brings life”. Even the scene of original Sub-Zero’s death was similar to the one from the movie, minus of course the violence/impaling itself. Yet the film outright stated that Scorpion and Sub-Zero were slaves under Shang Tsung’s power, so in that case, “Bi-Han” wouldn’t be on Mortal Kombat Tournament on his own free will for all we know. The full dialogue about MK:DotR!Kuai Liang’s reasons for joining the good guys side below:

Sub-Zero: It is true, I was once Lin Kuei and fought for the forces of darkness. But that was long ago…Back when my brother was still alive…It has been many years now since Liu Kang faced my brother in Mortal Kombat. [...] Sonya: So, why’d ya turn on your clan anyway? Jax: Girl, your parents ever teach you the word "tact?" Sub-Zero: After his death, I realized that my own brother was innately evil and without honor… I could no longer fight for what my clan believed in…That was when I decided to help you. Jax: Then why the disappearing act? Sub-Zero: In spite of what I knew, I was too filled with hate to go on. So I sought seclusion to try and find inner peace. Sonya: I guess what we’re all wondering is…can you ever really forgive Liu Kang for icing your brother? Sub-Zero: What Liu Kang did, he did to save Earth. He fought with honor and great purpose.

It was cartoon intended for children so it is make sense that brutality and complexity was reduced to acceptable norms, however A) “Kuai Liang” still didn’t call “Bi-Han” and evil/abusive brother and needed time to sort out his feelings, including hate (for Liu Kang) and and B) saying “Bi-Han” and in general Lin Kuei were evil was the easiest way to explain why he changed sides than saying anything else (this point is actually relevant to “Kuai Liang”’s feeling for Lin Kuei/Bi-Han seen in the second episode - he may consider them evil but he would fight Scorpion to avenge what he did to Lin Kuei and wondered if Liu Kang could beat “Bi-Han” without Kitana’s advice so his feelings definitely aren’t one dimensional. I think it is safe to assume he was still processing his emotions and relationship with Lin Kuei/"Bi-Han")

I guess this cartoon may be one of the reasons why people tend to consider Bi-Han to be an evil brother while painting Smoke as the only one Kuai Liang's brother that should matter. Still, a source is a source, so I’m bringing it to the table.

#mortal kombat #my replies #bi han #sub zero #kuai liang #bi han and kuai liang brotherhood #noob saibot #beside the mk defenders of the realm i don't think kuai liang went so far to openly call bi han an evil person? even the snow blind started #like that only to show us that kuai liang's trauma has nothing to do with bi han and only with his own pride that led to tragedy?#i truly think that after 30 years if bi han was meant to be abusive asshole the sources/Kuai Liang would say so already #noob saibot is corrupted version of bi han and kuai liang acknowledged that #yet there is no “oh yes this is my brother he died but overall he did not changed much when it comes to make my life miserable”#and i'm gonna trust kuai liang's words more than any fans headcanons lol

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makotonaegiunderstander · 29 days

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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

#makoto naegi #Danganronpa character analysis #Danganronpa #danganronpa thh #danganronpa future arc #I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known #he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said #he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky #he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did #if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done #and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though #post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do #it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to #and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc #he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions #I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse #and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate #and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually #I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself #that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels #it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it #it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic #anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for #the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!

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moeblob · 28 days

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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

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meownotgood · 8 months

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THAT'S 60,000 WORDS LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO!!

#RAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH #I might write a little bit more this weekend we'll see cause I may be busy #current status on chapter two: beginning portion edited and good #still working on editing the smut and #I don't know if it's just taking forever or if I added way too much to the scene where you jerk aki off #because why am I still working on that segment #you haven't even slurped on it yet #editing the rest of the smut is sure too take just as long though because after this scene #everything is pretty much rough outline mode #so there's a lot of work that needs to be done #I've also started working on the ending #I'm about halfway done with the rough draft for it #I figured out what I want to do with it I think #at this point I think I will certainly get close to 70k words but I'm not quite sure yet if I'll actually break that barrier #there's a ton that needs to be added to the second half of the chapter though so it's definitely possible #and I still can't say when exactly I'll be done #my current hope is to release the second chapter about three weeks after the first #is that good? is that too long???#you promised you'd be willing to wait didn't you... yes I'm talking to you....#I'm starting to gain a little more confidence in the second chapter after working on it more #gonna have my bestie read it when I'm done so she can affirm that I am indeed not a failure #ok I've talked too much #aki sex. soon. aki sex

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godsfavoritescientist · 11 months

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Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

#ford meta #actuallyautistic #everyone go read the wikipedia page for 'stilted speech' right now #long post #ford isnt very good at masking. he doesn't have the kind of (unintentional) autistic coding that is Palatable To Neurotypicals.#definitely looking-too-deeply-at-a-kid-cartoon right now but in *some* ways. a world where the majority of people think its easy to like an #-understand ford is a world that would feel safe for me to unmask in.#i truly truly hate that fully explaining my thoughts on ford requires me to say so much about myself. but god is it such a crime-#-to use a fictional character as a lens through which to try and explain to people how to be more understanding and accepting-#-of things like this.#making fun of stilted speech is so normalized that people don't even realize they're making fun of someone for being weird.#people think its Someone Thinking They're Better Than You but its something people lay awake at night wishing they could stop doing.#and yet they still end up using the Wrong Words and being labeled a Pretentious Asshole just for talking differently than the norm.#maybe there really are people out there who deliberately use big words to try and sound smarter than everyone else. I don't know.#all I know is. in a world where its pretty obvious that people who use a discongruently complex vocabulary get made fun of for doing that.#why would someone deliberately trying to impress people do something that would only get them laughed at.#sorry for being genuine on main. as if its my fault </3

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