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#anyway story time in the tags again

iamfuckingsorry · 1 month

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Thinking about that mural from DE

You know which one

TRUE LOVE IS POSSIBLE ONLY IN THE NEXT WORLD, FOR THE NEW PEOPLE. IT IS TOO LATE FOR US. WREAK HAVOC ON THE MIDDLE CLASS

The next world mural. In the game, you encounter this piece very early on if you interact with everything available, you probably see this mural before you've ever even heard of Dora or before you've started to get really serious about your commie tendencies, if that's how you choose to play. And the reaction is like, "wow, this is kinda profound actually". Or maybe it's like, "oh lol, this game really is commie af isn't it" (even though later on it turns out that the game is much more critical of communism than you'd think at first). And the story in the ledger provides some insight into Harry and Jean and how they work together too, so it feels like it makes sense, it fits in very well at that moment in the game and that's it.

But looking back at this mural after you've played through the entire game, knowing what you know of Harry's relationship with Dora...

It's Harry's own fucking love story in a way, isn't it?

Him and Dora came from very different backgrounds. He's genuinely poor, grew up checking the trash cans on the streets for tare and edible food, spent his teenage years running around with a bunch of kids who all OD'd or got themselves killed one way or another over the years. He had dreams of getting an education, getting a chance to use his creativity and curiosity and learn about all that that is worth exploring in this world (which is everything), but those dreams are long dead. She's solidly middle class, with access to all the education and art and music he's always dreamt of, with her family to always fall back on. She's everything Harry's ever dreamt of growing up. She might as well be living in another world.

They fall in love with each other and she moves to Jamrock to live with him. Jamrock, the biggest fucking ghetto in Revachol, full of tweakers and gangsters and just thousands upon thousands of poor people permanently down on their luck trying to get by, with no proper aid or government and a police station so understaffed and underfunded they never even stood a chance. And they can barely make ends meet even living in Jamrock, moving from shithole to shithole, never knowing when they'll have their electricity cut, when something will happen that gets them thrown out, desperately scrambling for a new place to stay. And Dora could never do that, not really - she never actually lived in Jamrock, she always had the possibility of leaving, of going to work across the river and visiting her parents whenever she felt like it or just escaping, packing her shit and getting on the tram and never going back. And as long as she knew she wasn't really, truly stuck in this miserable shithole forever, she wasn't ever really living in Jamrock. And it could never be enough for her.

And she wanted more - for herself, for Harry, for their family, who even knows. Maybe she saw Harry struggling trying and failing to make a difference as a gym teacher and thought he could do more good with the RCM. Maybe she was getting desperate, living in this fucking shithole, and thought they needed more money. Maybe it was something completely else - but what is certain is that Harry ended up joining the RCM, and the 41st, and everyone there is on speed, everyone is miserable and desperate and always running behind playing catch up with the case load, with the crimes, with the drug addicts and rapists and murderers, and Harry, who's always been like this close to a genuine mental breakdown, just fucking falls apart. He needs to help people, needs to make a difference, and working at the 41st, with the budget and case load and staffing situation and the pure fucking misery in the area. He goes out and meets a miserable person after a miserable person and he can't do anything else than be nice, make their day a little bit more manageable, do his best- but he knows that no matter what he does, his best won't be enough. He won't be able to make a dent in the pure fucking misery that is Jamrock. But he needs to, so he drinks, he smokes, he does drugs, he loses any semblance of control he ever had over the voices in his head, the dude telling him to hit shit and the dude telling him to forget everything and just get fucked up and Revachol herself screaming at him about her imminent death. And in the end Dora can't stand it anymore and she leaves (and, honestly, good for her. I'm happy for her. But this is about Harry, and Harry isn't, he isn't able to be happy for her at this point in time).

And like. I personally doubt that she'd have left just because of the money if everything else was good. I honestly even doubt that the money was that big of an issue for her to start with, it was all the other issues first and then the fact that they couldn't even rent a fucking VHS and play it at times became just one more thing on top of this already massive pile of shit that broke the proverbial camel's back. But in Harry's mind, he was never rich enough for her. She was always the middle class girl who settled for the poor fuck, and he was never gonna be good enough for her because he was just a broke dude from Jamrock. She was perfect and so so beautiful and at one point her love was the only thing keeping him going, and then she left because he couldn't even

And from what we can see in the game she was the only person he's ever really, truly loved.

But in his mind, they could never be together again. They could try as they might, but it was never gonna work out, because she was a rich girl and he was just a poor miserable fuck. He grew up looking for change on the streets, she took piano lessons in a fancy part of town. The difference was just too large to ever truly be bridged.

So for post-breakup Harry, prior to Martinaise and even during the events in Martinaise, true love was never actually possible. It is possible only for the new people, in the next world. It was too late for him - he had his chance, and it was an impossible thing, it could never have worked out and now he's wasted it. Because of the inherent differences between different social classes. It is too late for him. So yeah, fuck it, wreak havoc on the fucking middle class. Fuck those rich bastards who took Dora from him, and fuck Dora too.

On another note, this was also one of the most recent cases him and Jean worked on prior to Martinaise. I don't remember the date exactly, but it was in his last ledger, it must have been pretty recent. Do you think he saw the mural and thought about it the same way I did? Maybe this was the one that truly pushed him over the edge? The impossible love. It truly was too late for him. The only way to fix it is a new fucking start. And how do you get that?

After life - death. After death - life again.

#disco elysium #harry du bois #harrier du bois #dora ingerlund #DE #herr's personal tag #next world mural #when first playing the game I didn't even really stop to think about the middle class line #the love part of the mural honestly felt very powerful to me #and I opened the compartment and read the letter right afterwards #so i had a lot to think about in addition to just this #anyway #this is more of a “what if” rant than any actual metaanalysis #our story about Dora is extremely influenced by Harry's point of view #but at the same time #every design decision in this game is deliberate #or most of them anyway #is this something the game designers were actually thinking of when designing the mural?#was that an intentional decision on their side?#or is it just me reading too much into random shit while missing important details elsewhere again?#who knows #midnight rant

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brother-emperors · 7 months

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CAIUS TREBONIUS AND MARK ANTONY, MARCH 15th

The Hetairia of Cassius, Luciano Canfora

Cic. Phil. 2

(taps mic) so as we all know, conspiracy is a kind of seduction, and actions not taken can be just as loud as the ones that are. so. uh. fellas! hey fellas. heyyyyyy.

like, I was looking at the Dolabella-Caesar-Antony mess yesterday, but something really fun and vicious happened here and I will be rotating it around in my head at maximum volume for the foreseeable future

the red panels are the Assassination of Julius Caesar by Vincenzo Camuccini (the pen and ink drawing, not the painting)

#gaius trebonius #like the last three times ive posted him. his look will probably change. but i have never once promised consistency on this blog #what's a consistent character design. you only achieve that when you get main character status in a comic #mark antony #drawing tag #komiks tag #roman republic tag #ides of march baby!#new tag for ides of march art. i'll retag everything later #also I’m going to kill dolabella myself. I love him. I want his head on cassius’ sword.#all these people are so MESSY good grief #also! two conspiracies: one from Cassius one from Trebonius. also sexy. much to think about #anyway test run for an idea. we will be revisiting this scene again #I have a better idea about how to do the red panels. what I don’t have is (checks notes) the patience mostly #I want to draw trebonius’ lip scar origin story #anyway they definitely got drunk and made out in a spectacularly sloppy kind of way at least once #beware! the ides of march!

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moonchild-in-blue · 25 days

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Australian Rituals / Teeth of God Tour Bingo

Alroighte gwois, let's hear your predictions for the upcoming rituals. I *might* make another bingo (like on Wembley) - even if I don't, let's get them all in one place cus I think it's funny.

If you have something specifically for the Teeth of God Tour (because they are headliners and can do Cooler™ Fancier™ stuff) do specify. Same for strictly Australian Rituals. Some stuff may happen earlier (like when they debuted TMBTE and the new Espera masks), others may only happen on the Tour, so let's just put them all here and see what happens 😗✌️

Please reblog/put on the replies your predictions!! Whether serious or silly, please share!

Mine are:

One of the Vessels (Vessel or ivy OR Espera!!!!) singing onstage with Oli

Kangaroo/koala headbands / Aussie Explorer hat

EUCLID (more for Teeth of God but wouldn't be surprised if earlier)

The Apparition (PLEASE)

The Summoning pushups will return

Older song throwback (please please Sugar or Jaws. TNDNBTG for ToG)

Outfit change for the Vessels (only cus i think Australia is quite hot now innit? poor iv will MELT in that jacket)

NEW VESSEL JEWELLERY

This one I'm not super confident/keen on BUT new Vessel mask with Antlers (more likely on ToG but who knows)

#I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE RITUALS AAAAAAA IT'S RIDICULOUS #i kinda hate that because of timezones they will be playing during the day (for me) rather than later at night but!!#it means we can at least gather round in the evening and react together #cus lord knows how many full nights of sleep i sacrificed during the US rituals #actually yeah now that i think about it it *IS* better this way #ignore my earlier tag then i am thinking out loud #i need at least one picture of the crew with koalas. Just one #i know the girlies are there already so i'm assuming they are ALL there #(one of the Esperas posted on her stories. calm down guys i am not doxing anyone)#do you think they are doing fun Aussie stuff 🥺 trying vegemite and milo and petting koalas and fighting roos 🥺🥺#wait but Adam is not there yet. maybe her photo is from last year. or maybe they're all arriving at different times idk #i just hope they are not stressing too much and are having fun and healthy 👍#i will get SO emotional hearing Vessel fully recovered on stage again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#ANYWAYS I RAMBLED TOO MUCH OMG SORREH #if you reached this have a little snack for your troubles 🤲 🍊🧃🍬#sleep token #sleep token teeth of god tour

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not-poignant · 4 months

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Just a heads up Mephistopheles has red skin. But I’m so happy to see more content with him!

Hi anon!

Okay so two things, firstly you might want to check out the Forbiddem Realms wiki:

And specifically the source which is canonical to 1E:

Mephistopheles has multiple different forms! :D The blue form exists in different spaces and across different campaigns and you can Google right now and find canonical fanart of blue-skin Mephistopheles! Some of those illustrations are hot as fuck, so live your best life :D If you're happy to see content of him, hopefully that includes the blue form as well.

And since Mephistopheles was never actually in Baldur's Gate 3 I get to choose what forms they are because secondly, I highly recommend you read tags and author's notes thoroughly for Palmarosa for the additional reason that:

Is in the tags! And in the Author's Note of the first chapter:

I knew the DND purists would kind of get up in arms about all kinds of things (and...I was right), so I think this is now like the tenth time I've had to remind people to actually read my tags and author's notes! I don't kind of want to remind folks in every chapter that I will do something I like more if I don't like the canon, or what the point of fanfiction is in the first place. But I'm not trying to write more canon anon, I'm writing fanfiction, and the transformative part is the point.

It doesn't matter if his blue skin was in the Wiki or not, I can do what I like in this story, that is, after all, the spirit of DND and creating new campaigns within an existing structure, and that's precisely why Mephistopheles has so many forms in the first place! Heck, I could've made him green :D

There's a lot of things that aren't canon compliant in this story, from Astarion being able to taste food properly, to Mephistopheles being based on 1E instead of later version/s (I mean he's not Molikroth here either), to the House of Hope having many many more rooms than present in the map, and a great deal more besides.

I know that one version of Mephistopheles has red skin, I just like the one with blue more!

#asks and answers #palmarosa #thespectaclesofthor #it's really time that people started reading tags and author's notes again #but anyway you might not know this anon #but fanfiction doesn't owe *any* compliance to canon!#the whole premise of the story - raphael and astarion hooking up #is not canon at all #if you see something that doesn't seem right #the author probably meant it that way #or enjoys it more that way!!!#the best people to correct if you notice a non canon compliant error #is people who are *literally writing the canon*#if it's people writing fanfiction #it's best just to leave it be #they generally made their decisions on purpose and not by accident #especially if they have a 'this is NOT canon compliant' tag #tbh the art i just see of red mephistopheles i find uglier than the blue skin form so i made a call lol #but yeah in case you feel the urge to correct fanfic authors again on the canon in the future #maybe just keep in mind what fanfic is for #for a lot of authors!!#look for a 'canon compliant' tag if an author is trying to be canon compliant!

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socksandbuttons · 5 months

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In the "a day in the life of eclipse" it wasn't the first time Solar's Moon treated him badly. Remember when Lunar first showed up in Solar's dimension, Solar told Moon that there's a dimensional traveler and he'll deal with it. And his Moon responded with "good because I don't care!" it looks like his Moon has been aggressive/treated him badly to him from the start. Sorry, I just didn't understand what you meant by you ignoring the lore from a day in the life of eclipse because it is part of the lore now

You're new on my blog which i frequently ignore things in my headcanons from time to time. And that canon changes from how its interpreted. Anyway, stems from Solar's explaining his moons situation. The lore SLIGHTLY changed. In terms of Moon, being slightly Glitched due to killcodes removal/memory loss. He never mentioned Moon being mean before that (at least not on the terms before he left his dimension). Not unlike things to be slightly aggressive from Moon tho, just it wasnt PERCIEVED moon was a jerk to Solar UNTIL Solar reveals this later on (after Lunars death). They didn't really develop his story until later a little more. So I'm sticking to my previous headcanon of Moon having a glitch, which is canon to s degree? SOLAR himself has mentioned he wanted to fix his MOON AND SUN. Which was forgotten/changed and turned into just sun then into Solar leaving forever.

#like when i say they changed things they turned solars moon into the worst jerk instead of someone needing some help #due to in part of getting Solar in the channel more without running into other montys or moons or worrying about sun. plus a nice eclipse #im sure it wasnt that deep before and suppose to be vague but theyve developed it more #to which is more like a closure to solars tragedy of leaving all that #vs the tragedy of having KNOWN both of them before. and seeing them shells of their former selves #and u technically have both in the former since hes obviously still handling all that #HOWEVER. as much as i like solar being around.#theyve left things in the story that they never really go back on thats normal #so i take what i want really #CANON DIVERGENT WAS THE TERM I WAS LOOKING FOR VFDJKS #sometimes the canon.... i dont want it #i wont put this in the tags #also 'it wasnt the first he treated him badly' that. actually #isnt something u can consder 'treating solar badly' either #considering later u find out moon spent most his time trying to fix sun #anyway im rambling in tags once again

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 2 months

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friend i listened to “spring thief” by yorushika and it’s been on repeat for the past hour… please give other song recs by yorushika that you like 🫡 ALSO YOUR FIC WAS SO PRECIOUS AND THE SONG WORKED SO BEAUTIFULLY WITH YOUR WRITING/REALLY ENHANCED THE VIBE OMFG oh 2 live in an apartment w sashisu and get breakfast made daily by suguru <3 - @dollsuguru

KAIROOO MY ANGEL i still haven’t read ur rb of the fic (saving it as a treat for later today :3 hehe) BUT TYSM FOR READING AND FOR UR KIND WORDS ILYSM 🥺🥺🥺 with that being said ……..

WAHHHHH I’M SOOO OVERJOYED THAT U LISTENED TO THE SONG???? ISN’T IT AMAZING????? yorushika makes me fully insane they’re my favorite band Ever hhhhh i’m so glad u thought it added to the fic 😭😭 their songs are all super nostalgic and bittersweet and summery so they’re just . perfect for sashisu & stsg.. u asked for more recs so ofc i will deliver >:3

i genuinely don’t think there’s a single yorushika song that doesn’t hit so i have like 25873 favorites BUT here are some standouts….. some have mvs and others don’t but yorushika’s lyrics are genuinely so so beautiful and incredible so i’ll make sure the links take u somewhere u can read them <3

blooming in that summer

my absolute favorite <333 like, absolute favorite. it changed my life. i want to live in it. the lyrics are insane the instrumental is out of this world and the final chorus always always gets to me. i’ve cried listening to it bc it’s just so so good AND it’s also the most stsg song ever so i cry when i listen to it and think of them (someone made an animatic of stsg with this song that quite literally lives in my brain rent free u can find it here) <33

hachigatsu, bou, tsukiakari

another of my absolute absolute faves!! lyrics are so good i cried, instrumental is so good i cried, and the final chorus . makes me cry. notice how i’m already repeating myself bc literally all of these songs are incredible in every possible way aaa ALSO the singing 😵‍💫😵‍💫 esp at the end. there’s so much emotion in it and it makes me sick actually whewww

replicant

another absolute favorite :33 (i’m gonna be saying this for all of them i think but i mean it sincerely ok…) kairo this one makes me ill. it’s so gojo coded. it’s Him. the lyrics just remind me of him sm (they’re incredible btw the final line makes me batshit insane) AND THE INSTRUMENTAL??? might be my fave yorushika instrumental ngl don’t quote me on that tho 🙏🙏 just such a lovely summery song it smells like seasalt and tastes like clouds :3

kamisama no dance

AAAA ANOTHER ABSOLUTE FAVORITE kairo this one is getocoded. i knowwww you’ll understand. some of my favorite yorushika lyrics Ever and that’s saying a lot. it also has crazy lore bc it’s connected to this whole story being told in some of yorushika’s albums and :((( yeahhh. this one feels kairocoded to me but that might just be bc it’s so getocoded LMAO i have a feeling you’ll like it though!!

robber and bouquet

THIS ONE IS SOOO LOVELY the instrumental…. 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i love it sm. i’d say this one is kinda different from classic yorushika stuff but in a very good way!! also i’m legally obliged to inform u that this one is tojicoded as HELL i associate him w the lyrics so much…. also i adoreee the way suis sings in this one her voice is so gorgeous wowowow… the sense of fatigue…… so good

just a sunny day for you

A CLASSIC but for very good reasons . the mv is just gorgeous, the lyrics are stunning and the instrumental is sooo nostalgic and summery n bittersweet :((( just the best. sashisu coded also!!!

aaaand finally here’s their yt channel!! there are so many other songs i adore that i wanted to mention but i think these r enough for now 😭 oh but here’s also a yt channel that makes lyric videos for their songs in case u wanna find some more!! :3

#HOPE U LIKE THEM MWAH <33 #would love to hear if there’s a particular one u enjoyed hehe !!#anyway kairo i’m absolutely ill abt yorushika so if u want general album recs i’m always here… lurking……..#two of the albums are connected and have a story that i just think is soooo beautiful and stsg coded :((#TYSM AGAIN for reading the fic and listening to the song and taking the time to send this :’3 u r the sweetest always !!#i’m not sashisu but i am in fact making u breakfast as we speak ☕️🥞🍳🥓 making sure ure happy n healthy <33 #i love uuu kairo !! have fun w the songs <333 #ask tag ✩#kairo !! ✩

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1moreoffkeyanthem · 17 days

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Greetings and salutations and welcome to the FIRST EPISODE of what I’m calling

Bedtime Stories With PCE

Let me explain.

So I, like many other people, make up little stories in my head in my downtime, particularly when trying to fall asleep, and for the past year or so those stories have been South Park related, and wound up driving me to make an ao3 and actually write those stories down and curse the cyberspace with them, but the thing is, not all of my mental stories make it to even my notes, because I didn’t have the intention of writing them down. Either because they’re way too self indulgent and most people would be bored with lack of plot, or they’re just a continuation of an old Whumpshot that I think abt before bed, and I feel like if I were to put these bedtime stories out there it would be SUPER annoying, ESPECIALLY because

A lot of my little bedtime mental stories are OrangeJuiceVerse. Which is off putting enough as is, because I feel like while the series is all essentially stand alone stories that take place in the same universe, people look at a series with over 19 works and get overwhelmed because to be fair, that’s a lot even if most are oneshots. So I wanted to start a tumblr exclusive series, for the handful of people who would welcome the stuff I don’t feel confident enough to put on ao3, my little continuations to things that didn’t warrant a chapter 2 structurally, that kind of thing.

So, here’s the first episode! the most self indulgent couple thousand words of Stan taking care of an injured Kyle that I have ever done, following the events of Bicycle Lane , if ya read it lmk what you think, y’all know the drill, here

•covered•

Kyle woke up again without Stan beside him, and to to the noise of his phone ringing on the nightstand. Against his better judgement, he answered, already disgruntled at seeing the caller ID.

“Can I help you?” He grumbled.

Cartman’s grin was audible. “So you’re alive.”

Yep, this asshole would never learn to start a call like a normal person. “Why would you think I wasn’t alive, fatass?”

“Uh, because you look at least half dead in the picture your dildo sent?”

Kyle pulled the phone away from his face to open the ‘SP Survivors’ group, and groaned. Stan had sent a photo of Kyle, asleep with one arm draped over his eyes and the other holding Moose to his chest like a kid with a stuffed animal, and the caption was “Speak No Evil Take No Shit Broflovski won’t let a car take him out 🤘🏻”, which was definitely Stan’s attempt at calming himself by joking about the events of the day. Just without nearly enough context, naturally.

“I can’t believe he sent you guys that,” Kyle groaned.

“So you actually did get hit by a car?” Cartman’s tone took on that thinly veiled concern of his. “You hurt, bitch?”

Kyle rolled his eyes and glanced at the open bedroom door, pretty annoyed that he was starting to feel the ache in his body again now that he was fully awake, not to mention that he had woken up alone, but his boyfriend and cat were probably just downstairs. “I’m alright, jackass. Just banged up, but not bad.”

“Good, because if you died, the hippie would totally kill himself, and I plan weddings, not funerals.”

“That’s NOT fucking FUNNY, Cartman!!!”

He heard footsteps on the stairs after raising his voice. Thank God.

Cartman snickered. “Sorry, sorry, I think it is, though. Did you get a look at the license plate so you could sue the driver?”

“No, dude, it was fast as shit and they barely hit me anyway.”

“Traffic cams, idiot. You show the courts the picture of your battered little body, go to the er and milk it for all it’s worth, get a doctor to testify-“ of course Cartman was already scheming.

“I’m hanging up on you.”

“Not if I hang up on you first.” Then he added, “I’m glad you’re okay.” And dropped the call. Asshole always had to get the last word in.

Kyle laughed weakly and covered his eyes again, pulling his hand away only when he felt a tiny weight jump onto the bed. “Hi, little man.”

“Don’t know what world you’re in that’s got you calling me “little”, dude,” Stan joked, joining them.

Stan knew full well Kyle was talking to the cat. And he felt a thousand times better when Stan leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Hi, baby, you okay? When did you wake up from your nap?”

“Mm. Hi. A few minutes ago when Cartman called.”

Moose butted his little head against Kyle’s hand, looking to get pets. Stan smiled apologetically. “Yeah, sorry, dude, I figured the guys would call me for details since you were, like, asleep in the picture.”

“You know how Cartman is.” Kyle waited for Stan to get settled and then shifted himself so that his head was on his partner’s shoulder. “Did you have a panic attack while I was out? That why you went around telling the group that I faced off against a car?”

“Not a panic attack,” Stan assured him. “I just-I went to get our shit out of the truck and I was gonna start fixing your bike, and then I got to thinking about it again, what could have happened, you on the side of the road like that, you know.”

So definitely close to a freak out then. “Poor Stan.” Kyle placed a hand over Stan’s chest, feeling his heartbeat. “I’m okay, sweetheart. It’s okay.”

“You’re gonna stay that way,” Stan declared, his voice sounding like he did when he got really into a cause, like last year when he recruited Kyle’s ever eager to protest something mother for an anti-seaworld campaign. “Because I’m gonna nurse you back to health and never let anything happen to you again.”

Dramatic, cheesey, adorable, overprotective loser. Kyle snorted. “Nurse me back to health? What, am I a maiden who caught some mysterious illness and now must languish on the sitting room couch while my suitors bring me flowers? Is this a Jane Austen novel? What’s next, we have a dramatic kiss in the rain?”

The attempt to lighten the mood worked. Stan laughed and tenderly pressed his lips to his cheek.

“Sarcastic little fuck,” Stan chuckled. “Moose, I’m only giving your father a pass to be an asshole because he’s in pain and he’s cute.”

Moose had fallen asleep between them.

“Staniel, I have literally had worse, and so have you.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna baby you.”

He’d let Stan baby him, just a little, but only because he’d nearly had a full breakdown seeing Kyle hurt in the snow. Kyle would still pretend to argue against the coddling. “You better not-“

He was cut off by Stan’s phone vibrating with a FaceTime request from Kenny. Stan held it up with a grin.

“At least Ken has some sense.” He answered, and Kenny’s voice flooded forth.

“Stan the man! Show me the firefox!”

Kyle rolled his eyes at the nickname before Stan held his arms out farther to get them both in frame. “Hey, Ken.”

Marj popped into the screen too. “Kyle Broflovski! You’re tellin’ me you got hit by a car?! You better explain, mister.”

“I didn’t get hit by a car, it was more like a tap,” he insisted. “Driver didn’t even notice, it was so fast.”

Kenny gave a low whistle. “Still, though. Shit’s wild. You hurt bad?”

Stan handed him the phone so he could run his fingers through Kyle’s hair. Kyle showed his friends the bruise across his arm from trying to break the fall, which had developed into a blotchy purple over the past few hours.

“Gnarly, right? But it’s just some bruises and a twisted ankle. I’ll live. You guys tell Stan he doesn’t need to baby me.”

Marj laughed incredulously; Kenny grinned and shook his head. “That’ll be a sunny day in hell.”

“Huh?” Stan paused playing with Kyle’s hair. “Dude, the saying is cold day in hell.”

“Yes, but a lot of hell is actually cold, other than the lakes of fire and shit,” Kenny explained with that mischievous smile of his, like this should be common knowledge. “There’s no sun down there, though.”

Kyle was thoroughly confused, but his leg hurt and he needed to use the bathroom, so he didn’t ask for clarification. Plus even if he didn’t want to end the call, he’d learned that Kenny’s explanations for some of the stuff he said only confused you more.

He sighed. “I’ll take your word for it, man. Thanks for checking on me, guys.”

“Hey, we gotta keep an eye on each other, even if we went our separate ways,” Kenny said. “Can I draw a comic of you fist fighting Lightning McQueen?”

“He already started it,” Marj added.

Naturally. “Yeah, yeah, go for it. Love you guys.” He passed the phone back to his boyfriend.

“We’ll keep everyone updated,” Stan promised, like this was a life or death situation and not something that would have him laid up for two days, tops. “Bye, guys.”

“Peace.”

“Bye! Hope ya feel better!”

Kyle rolled his eyes again when Stan hung up. “Dude, should I be expecting a call from my mom next?”

Stan chuckled. “Nah, I figured you’d obliterate me if I told her.”

“And you were correct.” Because that would result in not only a three hour call, but also Sheila driving up so she could smother him. Kyle sat up slowly, irritated to discover that his back was stiff now too. “Bathroom quest,” he mumbled, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He didn’t push away Stan’s arm around his waist either.

“Easy, easy.” Stan helped him up, warm and gentle as ever. “Can you put any weight on it?”

When he did, it didn’t feel great, admittedly. The bruises on the outside of his calf from the car grazing him ached with the weight at standing, his ankle was pretty sore, and his knee felt stiff. But it was for sure more annoying than, like, agonizing or something, so he gave Stan’s arm a comforting squeeze.

“It’s not that bad.” But he figured he’d let his partner take care of him if he wanted, because Stan had been really fucking scared this afternoon, and Kyle knew he needed this. “You can help me, dude, just don’t try to hold me up while I piss or something.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Stan said with a smile, helping him walk carefully across the hall. “You got it?”

“Yes, honey, I got it.” Kyle sighed when he shut the bathroom door. Ignoring the sting of the abrasions on his palms when he braced his hands on the counter, he studied his reflection.

If he was completely honest, reality was finally starting to set in. He hadn’t fully accepted until Cartman mentioning funerals that, well, he could have died. Kyle could keep it together for Stan’s sake, but it was starting to get to him too. If that car had been going any faster, if they’d been a few inches closer, if he hadn’t been wearing his helmet, if he’d been knocked into oncoming traffic rather than into the ditch…

Kyle quickly peed and limped back over to the sink to wash his hands. There was cat hair stuck to the bandaid on his right hand, which helped a little to see. He was okay now. He was at home with his sweet blue eyed boys, both of whom would be ridiculously affectionate, but right now, seeing the (well tended) scratch at his hairline in the mirror, the gravity of everything kept tugging at him.

Can’t panic right now, Kyle told himself. He was a damn middle school counselor, had been for a couple months, and he had grown up with what he now knew was generalized anxiety (thank you, psychology degree). He knew the signs of a ‘what if’ spiral and when it was more helpful to “play the movie” or focus on the present.

Chronologically organizing where he’d been versus where he was now was an exercise his therapist during outpatient in high school had taught him, to contextualize progress and the order of events, keep out of the spiral of hypotheticals. Okay.

He’d ridden to the library down the road when Stan went to the gym, because his boyfriend was trying to get back into a routine of self care since coming out of a depressive slump and working out reminded him that he was alive. Kyle’s library mission was to find more book recommendations for his students that were a little more recent than his personal favorites, and he’d started the ride home with a decent list of YA novels and a few authors to research for the next time a kid was sent to his office not feeling engaged. He had been particularly excited to revisit the Inheritance series and order some paperbacks for his desk library that students who just needed some quiet time could choose from when there was a *vrzroom!* and he was flying off his bike, immediately pissed.

Not scared, not upset. Pissed.

Which was the whole reason Kyle didn’t drive unless he really needed to; because he got awful road rage when other drivers were fucking stupid. So, yeah, his first reaction was to be mad upon landing in dirty snow and seeing that his bike was definitely not in good enough shape to ride home and neither was he. His second reaction was to call Stan, and then call him again when the first time went to voicemail, because Stan would always rescue him if he needed it.

Another thing that had him mad was that while only a few cars had passed during this time, someone should have stopped. It’s that whole “oh no, someone else’ll help” hive mind mentality. Kyle was that person who stopped if he saw someone in trouble. So was his boyfriend.

God, Stan had been so visibly close to a full breakdown there in the beginning. Kyle got it now.

With one more mental reminder to stay in the here and now, Kyle pulled open the door and let Stan pick him up.

“Baby, you look like you just saw a ghost,” Stan said gently. Yeah. He was safe. Stan had him.

“Mm okay.” He wasn’t sure if he was reassuring himself or Stan. Probably both. “I think I just need some water.”

“Here.” Stan set him back on the bed and grabbed the massive “Ass Pro Shops” tumbler (another Kenny custom job) from the nightstand. Ice cubes clinked inside, which made Kyle’s heart ache with fondness; Stan had refilled his water while he was sleeping.

Moose settled himself back on Kyle’s chest after Kyle set the cup down. Stan sat on the mattress, carefully pulling Kyle’s legs into his lap. He was wearing one Breaking Bad sock and the other had Godzilla on it, and Kyle felt the back of his eyes burn again, because he was just so fucking cute, with that worried expression and the stupid mismatched socks and the Fall Out Boy shirt that was tight in the shoulders but he’d been too awkward to tell the Hot Topic employee she’d grabbed the wrong size when he bought it. And Kyle actually did almost cry at his partner’s broken murmured, “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, dude, hey. No, why are you sorry?”

“I- I missed your call, you could’ve-“

“Stan, I’m okay.” He was okay. “We’re not doing this again, sweetheart, I’ll be good as new soon; yeah I’m a little beat up, but gimme a few days and I’ll be back to normal.”

Once again, he was saying that just as much for his own sake. And he definitely wouldn’t tell Stan about Cartman’s comment regarding Stan killing himself if Kyle died. Absofuckinglutely not. But really, he WAS alright. Stan took a deep breath and smiled that dimpled smile down at him. That was a ‘fake it till you make it’ smile, for sure, but they’d make it.

“I’m gonna check on this, okay?” Stan said, the worry still present behind his eyes as he slipped his finger under the tucked in edge of the bandage halfway up Kyle’s shin. “Been a couple hours. You should probably take something too.”

Kyle nodded. If the color of the bruise on his arm was any indication, his leg was definitely gonna be gross. “Just don’t get freaked out if it looks crazy, dude. You know my pale ass skin shows bruises really hardcore.”

“I know, I just wanna make sure there’s not a hematoma going on or something.”

Between Kyle’s year of premed before switching to psych and Stan’s degree in veterinary science, they had a pretty solid understanding of injuries. Yeah, both of them would deny the extent of how bad off they were, but they had enough knowledge to know when the other was hurt bad enough to get some professional help.

They weren’t going to need professional help, Kyle determined, watching his partner unwrap his leg. It hurt a little more without the compression, but the mottled bruising on the side wasn’t raised, just dark.

Still, though, Stan looked upset, gently holding the slight puffiness at Kyle’s achilles and trailing a hand up the contusions to support his calf. “Dude, your poor leg,” Stan whined, “That looks really painful, Ky.”

“Looks worse than it feels,” Kyle reminded him. “I’m just white as shit and can’t even run into the kitchen counter without getting a bruise.”

Stan cracked an actual smile again, definitely remembering the time Kyle had whacked his hip on the counter and later that night hadn’t noticed until Stan interrupted Super Best Spicy Time to go “JESUS! DID I JUST DO THAT?!”. Always worried too much, that one. Not that Kyle wasn’t the same way, but still.

Stan carefully felt around his kneecap. “Is this aggravated too? You twist it at all?”

“It’s okay.”

“Alright, baby, just tell me if you need me to find your brace.”

Kyle nearly laughed, because even if Stan had trouble keeping track of most things sometimes, he knew exactly where all the medical supplies were. He wouldn’t have to “find” anything; the first aid kit was under the sink, knee brace in the top of the closet, diabetes supplies in the third drawer in the bathroom, melatonin, vitamins, cold meds, and ibuprofen in the bathroom medicine cabinet. Speaking of, the bottle of painkillers was currently on the nightstand; one of those instances of Stan thinking ahead. Kyle reached over and shook out a few while Stan gently started wrapping his ankle, swallowing the pills dry.

Stan looked up with disgust. “Dude! Are you a fucking snake?! Your water is literally right there, don’t do that in front of us!”

“Sssssss.” Kyle laughed when Stan didn’t find him hissing funny and Moose gave him the side eye. “Why do you get so grossed out when I do that?”

“Because it’s weird!” Stan stopped his ‘medic duties’ to throw his hands in the air in exasperation. “Most people can’t swallow like that. I can’t.”

In all actuality, Kyle mostly took meds dry to get a rise out of his boyfriend, who was godawful at taking any kind of medicine and complained about the taste of any liquid cough syrup but had to literally swallow pills in food, like he was a puppy.

“So we’re talking about “swallowing” now, are we?” Kyle was definitely a fan of anything he could use to segue them into a lighter mood, even a sex joke. Kenny would be proud.

Stan shook his head, but grinned, going back to his self appointed task. “Why is it that you always get flirtier when you’re hurt?”

“Because your goddamn knight in shining armor complex is hot,” Kyle answered, wincing a little at the bruises being touched but completely endeared at Stan cradling his lower leg with careful hands and lightly kissing the top of the bandage when he was finished wrapping him up.

“Thought you hated the white knight routine,” Stan teased.

Kyle pulled him down to kiss him. “I like it when it’s warranted,” he murmured against Stan’s mouth. “You’re cute.”

“You’re still gonna complain about it.”

“Mm, you know me so well.”

Then Moose *mrowed* in protest from between them at not getting attention too, and Kyle laughed. “We’ve annoyed the creature.”

Stan picked the little brown cat up and kissed his tiny face. “What, young nastyman? You bored? Wanna watch Animal Planet?”

More like Stan wanted to watch Animal Planet. Kyle rolled his eyes and sat up, reaching for his adopted son. “Did you get fed, beasticle? Want a treat?”

“Oh he got his favorite,” Stan assured him. “And extra treats because someone’s upset that his father got banged up by a stupid driver.”

Moose let himself be cradled against Kyle’s chest, purring like a lawn mower. “Baby boy,” Kyle cooed, rocking the cat a little. They’d only gotten Moose a few months ago, when Stan was volunteering at the animal shelter before working up the courage to actually apply at the vet clinic, and their fur child had quickly become a staple in their lives. And Moose was a really chill cat, just the sweetest thing. “You and your dad don’t need to worry about me.”

“We’re gonna,” Stan pointed out. “So, the critter’s been fed, but we haven’t. Whatcha feeling?”

Ugh. Yeah. Food was a thing. Kyle tended to get nauseous when he was stressed, but he knew damn well the nausea also came from not eating. Still, though, nothing sounded particularly appealing. “Whatever you want, dude. I don’t have much of an opinion tonight.”

Stan clearly didn’t like that answer. “Baby…”

“Just make what you feel like and summon me when it’s ready.”

“You should stay lying down,” he insisted.

“You know I don’t like eating in bed.” That was part of the hang up too. Dinner involved getting up, and moving would remind him that he wasn’t at 100%, which would stress him out more, because he had work the day after tomorrow and needed to be all good for stopping hallway fights, and crumbs were gross to sleep on which would make it even harder to drift off than it usually was.

“And I don’t like you not eating.” Stan could be just as stubborn as himself sometimes. “I’m gonna doordash something that isn’t messy, and we’re eating in bed, and I’ll wash the sheets.” Standing up with a determined expression, Stan caught Kyle’s hand and brought it to his lips. “Give me a moment, melda târ, I have an idea.”

He hurried down the stairs, and Kyle felt himself scowling, definitely not wanting to acknowledge that if he was this pissy this fast, even with Stan being adorable, his sugar was dropping, and like hell was he gonna check. Which also meant his partner was right, and he did need to check. It had been a good five or so hours since lunch.

“God fucking…” in the 70s, which was far from the worst he’d seen from himself, but not great. No wonder he’d suddenly plummeted into a mood. Moose made a little squeak.

“Yeah, your dad’s right. I gotta eat.”

Stan triumphantly announced his presence back in the room with a “let’s fuckin’ gooooo”, precariously balancing a pint of ice cream, two spoons, a glass of cheap wine and a can of miller lite. “Bed picnic ice cream date while we decide!”

The enthusiasm was so sweet. Stan was trying really hard to cheer him up and make sure he didn’t let getting hurt be an eating disorder trigger. That was something Stan never stopped worrying about. For real, the calorie count on the ice cream container was crossed out, even though that whole ordeal had been like six years ago. Stan Marsh, the most adorable man on the planet, who had brought the only thing in the house that wouldn’t leave crumbs in the bed, and the only thing that sounded good. Fuck, he loved him.

Kyle managed a smile and accepted the ice cream. “Dude, yes. I didn’t even know what I needed.”

Stan sat down beside him and propped them both against the headboard, one arm around Kyle, who was starting on the ice cream (Stan had grabbed the vanilla instead of the chocolate chip, probably in case Moose started begging for some), and the other going for the remote to start finding something to watch.

“You always have an opinion, babe. If you don’t, that probably means something’s up,” Stan said simply. “Figured with that and if you haven’t eaten in a while, you were starting to drop, right? You check?”

“I’m… on the lower side,” Kyle admitted, and fuck, that ice cream tasted like a video game health potion. “Why ice cream?”

Stan selected the first episode of The Last Of Us, and sporting that dimpled grin of his, grabbed a spoonful. “You crave sweet things when you’re upset or hurt, and ice cream never fails to kickstart your appetite. I know you better than I know myself, dude.”

And that went the other way around, too. Kyle sighed and let his head drift to Stan’s shoulder, watching as his boyfriend scrolled through the list of food options.

“You feel like a sandwich?”

“I mean, I feel like a Stan, but-“ Stan cut off with a laugh when Kyle nudged him. “Yeah, yeah baby, you want grilled cheeses from that diner on the square?”

“Mhm. Just put in the order notes for them to leave the condiments out of the boxes so they don’t get covered in fry grease.”

Stan kissed him lightly on the forehead before taking a sip of his beer, grinning around the lip of the can.

“Why are you making that face, Stanathan?”

“Just… there you are.” Stan finished placing the order and wrapped both arms around him. Moose sniffed at the abandoned ice cream container while his humans held each other. “You’re here. You’re okay. And you’re feeling good enough to make requests on the packaging on a food order.”

“I mean, it’s kind of off putting when your ketchup cups are all slimy because they were in the same container with the fries that just got pulled out of the oil, plus the grease smell is gonna linger in the bedroom after anyway, so might as well minimize the stain risk, and- *mnh*!”

The kiss that Stan stopped him with tasted like vanilla, and that distinct taste that was all his own. His Stan; his hero when he needed help, the one who Kyle swore could read his mind sometimes. The man who was so gentle when he was injured but so strong if someone he cared about was threatened. Stan, who was a massive dork at the same time he was the coolest person Kyle knew. “Luck” didn’t begin to cover it.

But Stan had him covered.

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