#so uhhh. what the fuck do i do with me? is it the person. is it the gender. is it the relationship in general? which part isnt clicking????

[onakomiyaki]

just a silly crush (not) pt.1

pairing: daniel ricciardo x childhood friend-brabham!reader ; lewis hamilton x reader (implied, platonic relationship)

summary: even after two decade of constant battle with his own silly first love slash crush and manage to almost win the fight, you're still the one who manage to knock the breath out of him. and yet, here you are, still oblivious to his feeling.

this is set in 2021, so papaya daniel :D.

warning: unedited and rushed work (I GOT INSPIRED AFTER TWO CANS OF REDBULL RAAAAAAHHHH), harsh words, childhood trauma (kinda), slowburn (we're talking about 20 years of pining from danny)

"c'mon danny, you never say no to a good party!" lando whines as he follow the irritated daniel around like a puppy.

the older man let out a sigh before continuing what he left behind; wiping his helmet. lando stomp his feet once–then let out an exageratted sigh as he sat down beside him.

"just leave your helmet and go out with us!" he insisted.

"lando, no." he sternly said.

"you never say no to a party! especially monaco party."

its true, daniel would never refuse an invitation to a party. in fact, most of the time he would be the one who send out the invitation to everyone on grid. but it's different. today is different.

"it is (y/n) brabham we talked about dan! don't you want to go to her dope party?" lando reason.

if only you knew that is the reason why i refuse to go, lando. daniel thought. "so? why do i have to come along?" he asked, finally facing the young brit.

"uhhh, because it is y/n? she's like a hot topic and the it girl of the paddock right now? daughter of david-fucking-brabham? and maybe i want to know her more?" he answer as if the answer he said is the most obvious answer.

"and i heard from max that she is your friend! so maybe you can-"

"was." daniel stop him.

"damn, okay. she was your friend, whatever. and maybe you can introduce me to her." lando scoff.

your name is still a sour topic to him, leaving a bad taste in his mouth and saying that word killing him inside. yet, he doesn't have the courage to elaborate more to the poor confused lando norris.

(y/n) brabham, the famous australian model turn to actress and daughter of david brabham–yes the david brabham, become the hot flaming topic on the grid after her unexpected debut on the paddock at bahrain gp as lewis hamilton's plus one.

while other drivers didn't think about it a lot, daniel feel like he's about to passed out right then when he saw y/n walking beside lewis, in black mercedes polo—matching with the man beside her–while laughing and waving at the media crew.

maybe because she was also known for her controversial on stating her dislike over the motorsport that his father (and his family) was famously known for. it was not her cup of tea, she said back in her 2019 famous vogue interview.

and maybe because his father insisted on pushing it to her and her younger sibling. and of course their famous leaked dispute over the death of brabham motor company. either way, (y/n) and formula one has never seen in the same sentences. it is just an unwritten and unspoken rule at this point.

max–being the only person who knows about daniel's pathetic one-sided first love– was there to hold daniel's body, giving the poor man some reassuring pats on the back. "mate, if i were (y/n) i would also choose lewis." he said, and daniel swear he's about to knock the blue eyed dutchmen out.

although lewis officialy stated that you were just his friend and fellow ambassador for tommy hilfiger on interview for a few times now, daniel can't help but to get jealous at the 7 times world champion.

because of course you would show up as lewis hamilton's plus one rather than his, despite your history. and after many attempts of invitation and bribery that failed, he just stop asking.

"danny, i hate loud noises and i know how loud those cars are. and also, you know how i feel about the sport"

loud noises his ass.

lando leaning in closer now, shoulder touching his as he stare at the older men with those disgusting puppy eyes. daniel push the younger men on the forehead, as he shake his head.

"oh c'mon now! don't make me call for reinforcement to get you out of here!" lando said as he grab his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, and typing furiously.

"what reinforcement?" daniel asked, eyebrow raised in question.

not even a minute later daniel's motorhome door open, then, enter max verstappen along with carlos sainz and charles leclerc.

"that." lando simply stated as he point to the trio.

max watch in amusement, folding his hand in front of his chest.

"get 'em boys." he said.

"wha-"

"sorry cabrón, we have to get you outta here." carlos said as he walk to his direction, holding his left arm.

"what he said." charles said, grinning as he hold the opposite arm.

"seriously? you're gonna drag me out of my own place?" he asked as he forced to stand up from his seat, not even resisting because god knows how strong these two people are. especially the spaniard.

"yep."

"yeah, pretty much."

"uh-huh."

lando, carlos, and charles said at the same time.

daniel then turn his gaze to the dutch, annoyed at how his smirk seems to speak a thousand words despite being the most silent out of four.

"i expect these three gremlins to be the one who did this to me, but you?" he said, eyes glaring at the dutchmen.

"well, beat me for wanting a good source of entertainment for free, ricciardo." max said, shrugging his shoulders.

"i am going to kill you all, with my own hands."

he already lost lando, carlos, and charles the second they enters the club and god knows where max and kelly are. the lovebird seems to be touchy even before entering the club and now danny needs a glass–or two, of the strongest liquor they legally able to serve.

the–clearly exclusive–club where your party was held is amazing to say the least. it would have been a big fat lie if danny said he was not impressed by the place. he walk through the sea of human, heading straight to the bar as he scan the room.

"oh?" a familiar voice interrupt his train of thoughts as he turn his head to the source.

"they did manage to drag you out of your fortress, i thought carlos was joking. huh, impressive." you said, occupying the empty seat beside him.

"that, they did." is the only response he said as he shot you a thin smile.

"you look good, ricciardo." you smile at him, squeezing his shoulder in friendly manner.

"and so are you, brabham." another dry response from him.

"ugh please, i want to get married just so i can get rid of that cursed last name." you said, rolling your eyes. god you do hate your last name.

"right." he coldly stated.

you nod your head as you brought the martini glass close to your mouth. ah, he's mad at you still, you thought. and he have every right to do so. showing up at the paddock out of nowhere after rejecting his invitations since 2012, without telling him first, was a jerk move.

so, you did the right thing you know.

"sorry about bahrain. i- it was for work purpose." you said, facing him with guilty eyes. you knew this would hurt him.

"its alright, y/n." he answer, refusing to face you because–oh god you look and smell so good and he didn't want to let his wall down. and he knew if he face you, he won't be able to stay mad at you. you are his kryptonite after all, always have been. but tonight he want be strong. he want to be pissed at you.

"well, enjoy the party i guess. and thanks for coming." you chimed, sliding out from the seat as you rub his shoulder.

daniel's fast reflex is both curse and blessing for him. and boy do he feel like it was a curse. because before even his mind processing what is happening when her hand touch his shoulder, his hand was already firm on your wrist, refusing to let go.

you watch him with a mixed of both puzzled and surprised look.

"danny? you need something?" you asked.

his mouth agape, seems to be clueless and surprised at how fast his hand reacted. damn his good reflex.

"oh–um. no, sorry." he managed to say as words seems to be tied inside his throat, unwiling to spilled out as he stare at you blankly.

"oh-kay?" you said.

he let go of your wrist, as if your skin burn him. as if your skin a flaming fire. "sorry."

you open your mouth to say something, but-

"daniel!" both you and daniel whip your head to the sound.

max is waving his hand at him while kelly was nowhere to be seen. but from the goofy smile, max's disheveled hair, and his flushed cheeks, danny might have some ideas about her whereabout.

"i thought you run away or something." the blue eyed dutchmen said as he approach his former teammate with a smile.

"speak for yourself max, i've been here all the time. where have you been?" daniel said, amused look on his face.

"oh! just–uh–dancing with kelly." he speak, trying to clear his throat.

you let out a giggle which causing max to raised an eyebrow at you. that cause you to start laughing.

"uhh, what so funny y/n?" he asked.

daniel roll his eyes as he pointed max's neck and collarbone. "seems like a good dance, look at you all flushed and littered with lipstick stains."

max turned pale as he hide his neck with his hand, immediately buttoning his shirt up to hide the evidence.

"i'm–ahaha–i'm not... you know what? i'll just go..." he said, quickly turn his heels to walk away from the embarrassing situation he's in.

both you and daniel watch as max trying his best to hide himself in the crowds. and when he is out of sight, daniel let out a holler.

"that little rascal," he said, downing his whiskey "oh right, you were about to say something. what is it?" he asked, turning his body to fully face you now. thanks to max, daniel feel a little more calm now.

you give him a smile, shaking your head. "i forgot about it," you simply said with a shrug "it was nice talking to you daniel, really. i have to go and greet another guest now and um–sorry, again. hope we're cool now?" you said, offering a hand for him to shake.

daniel stare at your awaiting hand, finally giving you that sunshine smile before taking your hand in his, shaking it. "we're cool, brabham," he said "only if you come to spa as my plus one."

"oh... but–i have a catwalk on the race day." you said, opening your calendar app on your phone.

"hmm, zandvoort then?"

"photoshoots."

"alright. monza?"

"ah another, photoshoots."

"oh."

"but i can come. the photoshoot will be held in monaco anyways, so it's not that far." you said, showing him your–packed to the year end–schedule.

"really?" daniel said, voice full of hope.

"its only fair if i come to your race since i came for lewis's," she said, smiling at him brightly. "but–"

daniel expression fell, anxiously waiting for what you have to say next.

"you have to win."

he let out the breath he's been holding on, wiping his face before chuckling.

"you have yourself a deal, brabham."

"win that race, ricciardo." you said, giving him a kiss on his cheek.

daniel's grip on your hand loosen as he gave you a warm stare, caramel colored eyes staring at your orbs with some unreadable expression.

"oh i will win this battle, brabham. just wait." he said with more of certainity in his voice now.

#daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #formula 1 #dr3 x reader #dr3 #daniel riccardo imagine

[thesuperiorgenshinaddict]

Angel Dust N$FW Alphabet

AN: i was trying to see what other ppl write abt angel dust for motivation or something but there's like almost nothing. am i crazy??? i found a singular ns//fw alphabet about him. someone please write about him thanks xoxo also for these i'm assuming that you're in a relationship w/ him or at least really friendly fuckbuddies Pairing: Angel Dust x GN! Reader Warnings: Sexual content, Switch! Angel Dust, Valentino mentioned, Self-Hatred, idk it's mainly just sweet nasty fluffy bullshit. actually disgustingly sweet blergh

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) His job revolves around sex. He's done this tons of times, makes sure you're feeling okay and gets you drinks and snacks and whatever you need. Takes a bath with you afterwards and if you're feeling too tired to get up, he'll just carry you over and clean you up and tucks you into bed afterwards. Forehead kisses, woo!

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Despite him constantly flexing about how attractive he is, I feel like he probably feels disgusted at himself sometimes. Thinks that he's just an object of sexual attraction after a long day at work. Make sure you tell him about how lovely he is. I'm highkey trying to think of a single horny thing to put in here to make him seem less depressed but I can't think of anything. Uhhh, fuck.

He loves every part of you, so I can't really think of anything in particular. Likes holding the area between your hips and waist for support or holding you under him, whatever your preference is. He's versatile.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) The dude's done so many things with cum. Would swallow it and loves seeing it all over your or his body. This was more of a brain rot thought, but I randomly thought about how he's a spider. Hear me out. His cum's like the fucking spider web material but in a more watery form. It's a bit hard to wash out and gets abso-fucking-lutely everywhere. Tastes relatively basic, but the texture makes it a bit strange. Great, just wait until future jobs pull this up and ask me if I'm attracted to spiders. I'm cooked.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) For a second I was just going to type STD with a shit ton of exclamation marks, but we can go hope that Valentino's stars are tested. I really don't think Angel Dust has a lot of 'dirty secrets' considering how his job makes him do a lot of different things.

This is like the second time I've pulled this exact thing where I turn this into a completely non-dirty secret but he loves soft sex. Is this because every character I write presents as a blatantly horny fuckwad? Gee, I might have to switch it up soon with a less horny person. Or demon. Whatever.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) We already knew what was going to be written here. He's seen and done everything. Even though his job requires him to exaggerate moaning and whatever, he knows what feels good and what's not sexy. He would catch on to where you're the most sensitive and target that.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) He doesn't have a favorite one, but he enjoys the ones where he can see your face so he can lean close and give you a little peck on the lips. Angel's main priority is to make sure you're feeling good, so if you're wanting it to be a bit more rough, he's down for doggy style or whatever kinky shit ya throw at him. I'm resisting the urge to just say 'ya' instead of you for the rest of this thing. Fuck, his talking style is worming it's way into my daily conversations too. It's infectious (like the herpes he probably has. I'm sorry the opportunity was just too perfect LMFAO)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Leaning more on the joking side. He'll say like twenty sex jokes per round, minimum. I don't even think I'm exaggerating there considering how majority of his script in the show was literally just innuendos. If you're feeling upset, he'd make sure to tone the jokes down and be a bit more romantic and everything. None of the jokes are degrading though, they're always on the lighter side since he knows how vulnerable sex is. There's this drabble I really want to put in but it's way more AMAB! leaning, maybe I'll write a little thing about him later on a separate post. (most subtle self-promotion /s)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) I'm thinking rather completely clean or trimmed. Since his job needs him to look good, he always makes sure he's in good condition. It's pretty much the same shade as his hair with maybe a slight pink tinge to it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Hope ya read the AN part because I'm assuming you're close to him. In that case, he's pretty romantic about it. Tells you how good you're doing and peppers your face with kisses. Overloads you with compliments.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Honestly, he's exhausted from work so he never really has a reason to masturbate (unless Valentino has it in one of his scripts). Usually just flops down into his bed and cuddles with Fat Nuggets. Although, he'd find some mutual masturbation attractive. If he accidentally walks in on you masturbating to him, he'd totally tease you about it. Maybe. I don't even know at this point. I think my brain's dissecting itself

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Bondage (Giving or receiving), Body Worship (Giving or receiving), damn this shit is mild asf I'm trying to think of literally anything else and I can't uhhhhhh... Idk oral probably

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) He'd probably prefer somewhere more private. I don't think he'd completely be against public/semi-public sex, but it's more of the fact that he's famous and would rather get paid for giving people a show. Horniness aside though, I think he would rather just be in a cozy place to fuck.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) This one's kinda random but I feel like he'd be super into it if you showed off one of your talents. It doesn't even have to be physical, but like if you did some shit like idk math or something (please not math) he'd call you some flirty ass nickname mildly related to the subject at hand and do some dirty talking.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) He'd definitely get fucking flaccid if you're anything like Valentino. That being if you force him into a situation where he has no control whatsoever or if you're too harsh with him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Due to his occupation, he does giving way more often since he's pushed into a power bottom role. He rarely gets blowjobs, so he'd definitely enjoy it a ton, especially if it's more of a soft, romantic mood. His skill for giving is a 9.5-10/10 since he's been doing this shit for decades.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Oh my god. If I have to write 'oh yeah his job makes him do yadadada buuuuutttt' ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I'm actually going to start bawling my eyes out. I feel like if you've read this far and intended on reading with one hand, you're probably bored out of your mind already. I'm so sorry Buuutttt youuu guessseddd it. Enjoys both, likes slow a lot too cuz he doesn't get intimate stuff often yap yap yap uhghghghghghh im so sorry dude this must be so boring to read i'm sorry reader

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Quickies are pretty convenient for him, since Valentino makes him work often so he doesn't mind a quick sesh before heading off to work. If for whatever reason he has a break (or he magically quits his job), I think he'd probably prefer taking his time, but if he's in a rush or there's something he needs to do, he'll find a random secluded area for a quickie. I read that as quiche.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) If you can find something he never did before, then yeah, totes. Can't believe I said totes in 2024. Fuck. Anyway, there's no way it's that different from what he's done before because it really just boils down to 'idk just gotta get jizz', which is his talent.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) He's used to taking long ass night shifts so he can go for a ton. I think he'd just go for 3~ when he has time, I don't think he's that desperate to fuck outside of work because he's probably pretty drained already. Thinking of that in the literal sense is lowkey nasty

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Owns a good bunch because he probably gets gifts from fans which end up just being dildos and vibrators and ass plugs or something. Like I said in the masturbation one, I don't think he really needs to use them that often, but he might use a dildo every now and then. He'd probably bring them out occasionally when having sex.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) I feel like he's teasing throughout the day since all he's apparently fluent in horndog language and only communicates in sex jokes. Slander aside, during the actual sex sesh whenever that is, I think he wouldn't do edging for that long and just skip the foreplay.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) When recording, he heavily exaggerates his moaning and it probably became a habit. Good luck with trying to be subtle because his voice alone could probably blow some poor kid's ears up.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) Dogshit at playing Uno. Wow I'm so creative. Who could've thought of Uno when they read wild card! Haha. Haha. Hah. Ha. Fuck, I'm so shit at writing. Who let me have a computer again?

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) Y'know, when you look at him, I don't think your first though is 'big dick energy'. When he was alive, I think it'd probably have been 5-5.5 inches. Definitely very slim with a rosy pink at the tip. I know he's 8 ft, but I still don't get big dick energy so I'm just gonna go with 6-7 and call it a day.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Probably still very high despite getting fucked constantly, but if you're not feeling sexual, I don't think he'd try to push it too far. Unless you're looking for angst or toxic headcanons, then push that shit to max. Delicious, painful angst. Yum! That's mainly prior to episode 4 though, since they speedran his entire fucking arc and ended it in like 2 episodes. Thanks pacing, I really appreciate it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He doesn't fall asleep easily for a variety of reasons, so he'd scroll on his phone for a bit or something before sleeping with you if he trusts you enough. AN: well that was dogshit thanks i hated it /jk but maybe I just have beef with 'wholesome' things. imo this is probably the type of bullshit they say when 'anthony' and 'angel dust' are different because this was definitely anthony or whatever then. man i gotta make this shit more horny next time, think i'll do val or blitzo or verosika or idk someone who's horny. like and follow for more banger content guys boom (seriously though i feel like this was super lame i'm sorry)

#angel dust x reader #angel dust #hazbin hotel #hazbin #fat nuggets #sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x reader #gender neutral reader

[deeisace]

..

#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again #and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet #basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um #someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much. #like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols' #they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that #no-pressure museum not-a-date #and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot. #basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person #because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it #tho they are two v different situs #an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes #same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time #but at least i only said ill think about it? #and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted #and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no #weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff #and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um #is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people #i guess #but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha #and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually. #if they ask again #i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff #im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you #(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

*walking with a friend and a guy my friends befriended (he seems okay? weird humour but cool ig) talking abt falling out of windows*

me: there's actually a word for throwing someone out of a window in english. defenestration

guy, quite weirded out (i think from his voice, his face is like. he's literally twice as tall as me i ain't looking that far up): why? do you just know that??

me: .... Reasons. (chronically on tumblr and weirdly informed abt strange topics)

#a biscuit's rambles #hes not yet desentisised to me saying random weird ass shit ranging from mildly concerning to 'what kind of illegal sites are you on' #and its soooooo funny #i randomly offered them sugar and he looked So wonderfully confused (i am known for randomly handing out sugar packets among my friends) #thus started a contest (well its been 2 days so far) of carries the most random shit in their pockets #so far im winning with my embroidery thread and tealight (which i did not pocket specifically to have something weird in my pocket) #its very funny. its absolutely hilarious. he has no idea what im like and is so utterly unprepared #maybe i do like him (was unsure up until uhhh yesterday when we first properly talked) #(idk he has a sense of humour i kinda. Do Not Like and ive no idea where he came from so i was like. i dont personally need to get to know #him. like good for my friends buuuut. also hes like 2m tall that is freaky as fuck. BUt he seems a chill dude so maybeeeee) #(first impressions and all of that jazz. u dont gotta like everyone. but u might. lmao) #no but for real if im standing anywhere close to him i literally have to tilt my head back as far as can go to look at his face. its weird #no hate to him or tall people i just come from a long line of small people and moderately sized friends this seems Wrong lmao

[arts-and-drafts]

Ugly Things (Dream SMP)

(In which Tommy and Wilbur have a fight. I've always been morbidly captivated by Pogtopia and the stress it put on everybody involved before the 16th, so this is a little 'what-if' writing exercise of a night that may or may not have occurred :) enjoy!)

CWs: Smoking, mentions of violence

-

Tommy wakes himself up by coughing.

There's a disgusting itch in the back of his throat, and his sinuses are filled with tobacco stench. Bleary irritation spurs him to get out of bed, his body protesting every movement.

Tommy has gotten very little sleep since making Pogtopia their base, and every time he wakes up he is sore from the thin mattress barely making the stone floor any more comfortable.

All this to say he treasures any sleep that he can get, and he is pissed as hell that he's woken from it.

He knows without needing to check that the source of the smoke is Wilbur. Tommy sets off to find him.

It's not exactly hard; Pogtopia is remarkably simple once you know your way around, and there's only a few places you can go for privacy.

Just as he suspected, he finds Wilbur in the farthest side of the ravine by the nether portal, absently smoking a cigarette as he stares into the purple gateway. Tommy pulls his shirt up over his nose in disgust.

"I thought you said you were gonna quit."

Wilbur startles, and turns. His face is gaunt and shadowed in the faint glow of the portal.

"What are you doing up?" Wilbur ignores Tommy's statement. His voice is scratchy and hoarse. Tommy scowls.

"The fuckin' smell woke me up, dickhead." Tommy grumbles. "The portal isn't like a window."

"Sorry." Wilbur says. He doesn't sound sorry at all. "I can't exactly go outside."

"You could not smoke." Tommy presses, irritable. It's too fucking early for this.

Wilbur's face is a mask of indifference. Tommy knows it's a mask, because he knows Wilbur. To anyone else, it would be a real expression. Real apathy.

Tommy knows that it's hiding something.

"It helps me." Wilbur says. It's a conversation they have had a million times over. Tommy narrows his eyes.

"Well, it hurts me." Tommy snaps, the last of his sentence petering into a cough. Wilbur's face goes stony.

"You'll be fine. Go back to sleep, Tommy."

Somehow the words snap Tommy right awake.

Maybe it's built up anger that makes Tommy summon his water bucket from his inventory. Maybe it's misdirected grief at the fact that they're hiding in this shitty fucking ravine in the first place. Maybe it's a lot of things.

Whatever the reason really is doesn't matter. Tommy still throws the water on Wilbur before the man can register the action.

Wilbur finally shows real emotion in the form of sputtering and stumbling, nearly tripping back through the portal.

His cigarette is out, and his glare is piercing hatred. Tommy meets it unflinchingly.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" Wilbur yells. His voice is grating and cracks with emotion, and it riles Tommy up in turn.

"You told me you fucking quit!!" Tommy yells back, raising his voice to match Wilbur's. Their shouts echo off the walls until their voices are just ringing noise in his ears.

"Fucking Christ, Tommy, that doesn't mean you get to waterboard me!!" Wilbur screams. He's pissed good and proper, like Tommy knew he would be.

"'Go back to sleep, you'll be fine.'" Tommy throws Wilbur's words back at him with a sneer, and Wilbur throws back his fist.

Tommy flinches before his mind catches up with what the hell Wilbur just did. For a fleeting second, Wilbur's face displays raw emotion; horror, then anger, then finally settles back into the mask.

Wilbur lowers his arm with a practiced breath, and without another word, turns and walks right through the portal. Tommy is alone, and suddenly extremely aware of how he positioned his bucket like a shield in that split second of reaction.

Against his brother. His brother, who had never before come that close to hitting him in earnest.

Tommy's eyes sting horribly, and he fights back tears in favor for stomping back to his bed. He isn't fucking sorry. Wilbur was the one being a goddamn asshole.

Tommy throws his bucket to the ground as hard as he can, and then kicks it away for good measure. The clanging echoes up the unforgiving stone walls, mocking him. They look like teeth in the torchlight, as if the ravine is just a gaping maw waiting to swallow him whole.

He feels an ugly thing in his chest that he knows he needs to cry out, but he won't give Wilbur that fucking satisfaction. Instead, he throws himself onto his mattress, wincing at how the stone floor digs into him like the padding isn't even there.

Wilbur is gone for a long time. Tommy pretends to be asleep when he finally hears the man come back through the portal, and listens for his breathing until it's evened out into sleep.

-

Wilbur is still pissed off from the night before, obviously.

But he wakes up to find his and Tommy's mattresses pressed together, and his previous anger sticks in his throat.

He doesn't throw away his cigarettes.

END.

#sorry this one is all hurt no comfort #crime boys enthusiasts i apologize #dream smp #dream smp fic #crime boys #pogtopia #tw smoking #tw violence #fuck uhhh what else do i tag this #it's so fuckin late y'all #meraki post #wilbur is not doing good #obviously #but he'd never hit his little brother #even at his breaking point #and tommy's just a kid #who's maybe realizing he followed the wrong person #idk man pogtopia fucks me up #they still care about each other tho. despite everything #let me know if i need to tag anything else

[lady-ika]

hands you love and peace

#trigun #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #no trimax bc i hadnt read it yet and cannot decipher his hair in any vers apparently #also why is 98 vash's glasses wiggly #my brain is infected with this blonde twink fr #im sorry everyone who follows me im having a mental breakdown and vash is the only thread keeping me sane #weird that my brain looks for a new blorbo every time its about to self destruct #anyway hope yall enjoy #drawing #art #digital art #i should post my fave lil panels from the manga #also what do vash and wolfwood have going on bc its not straight but i personally dont see it as romantic #but they sure do have cain instinct embedded in them #i think about the scene in tristamp of of vash sneezing and getting caught and wolfwood fucking bashing him #its v funny to me #its more obvs w meryl and im rooting for her but im headcanoning that its unrequited regardless of if vash is aware of her feelings or not #mainly bc i think of vash and the sex workers and him pretending to be asleep bc he doesnt feel like he deserves uhhh any of that #so tldr either wolfwood or meryl having any romantic feelings for vash its v sad for them regardless of if theyre returned or not #hey why did i start talking about this #uhhh i forgor anyway #hey spoilers for trimax/stampede #does it fuck anyone else up that wolfwood is like. probably still technically maybe a teenager bc of all the shit #bc it fucks me up #poor wolfwood #also is badlands canon bc im trying to stick w canon shit for now bc fan shit (affectionate) poisons me and i need a functioning brain #for work yknow? i printed vash stickers to put on my phone so i have a reset point when i get overwhelmed but boy do i not like having #an anime character prominently on my phone where people can see him #i saw a patient glance at my phone bc i had coloured it in bc its black and white

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 5

"Funeral Bell" by Phildel

#song of the day #not gonna lie there's a good chance this song popped in my head earlier just because of the line 'oh brother I long for sleep' #anyway I made a curry today that was so fucking good. it was so good. #I spent a good chunk of the day in the kitchen with my work laptop open (gonna get access to a frankly alarming amount of third-party data! #is it terrifying every time I catch a broadened glimpse of the reality of our surveillance state? oh yeah. ohhhh yeah. big time. #but am I going to let the pervasive anxiety keep me from accessing the data needed to provide context for my 5yr projections? #not a chance! if anybody's gonna benefit from our nation's hideous blatant data-grubbing it'll be me #and every coworker downstream who benefits from my automations) #and our whole house smelled like coconut and ginger and peppers all day it was /lovely/ #anyway I can't do justice to Phildel's incredible crystalline voice on my best day but I like to croon along a million octaves below #and it is a gorgeous song #uhhh I didn't sleep at all! possibly recognizable in the hopskip multiple-'anyway's formatting of this tag ramble. I am Sleepless #but I have curry and also the personal info of over eighty thousand students at universities across the US and isn't that what's important #edit! hahahahahaha everybody laugh at me laugh at my foolishness. it's eight hundred thousand students. I've got the shakes.

[ff2-soda-pop]

seeing rumors about. people are falsely reporting players on team shiver just.... idk Because they're on that team?????

anyways im gonna hope that thats an unfounded rumor because. ohmygod are you kidding me? that is Not okay to do ohmygod-

but also man this makes me want to actually not play splatoon very much tbh. like we're here to have Fun and im starting to feel like people are getting bit.... hostile over this? and idk about anyone else but thats not very fun to me :(

#like i picked shiver because. i love all three but shiver personality-wise kinda reminds me of one of my close friends so. went with her #because of that (its a silly reason but Still!) and idc who wins this one but im just- #man if this rumor is actually true uhhh. i dont want to play the fucking game very much #like im here to have Fun not worry if someones gonna try and get my nintendo account suspended because i. picked the opposing team or #something???? god what is Happening with splatoon i swear i do not remember it being This awful the past two games #like. what shifted between splat2 and splat3 for This sort of thing to be going on at all

[bumblingbabooshka]

                   Tuvok “If you know that I’m lonely” - FUR

#I think this particular verse + chorus combo reminds me of Tuvok #but I couldn't draw that much so here's thiiiissss #thinking about how Janeway is Tuvok's only friend aboard Voyager and how he seems to have a habit of pushing people away #and how the only other person he became close to in the earlier seasons - Kes uhhh fucking....ascended #and of COURSE...how he misses his wife/children #loneliness and love are what I associate with Tuvok #Tuvok #st voyager #I love Tuvok so much dude #he's much more introverted than other Vulcans I've seen...and very stubborn about it..he keeps people at such a distance while also #being helpful towards them when they need it...but like the second they just wanna hang out with him he's like 'no' #I think the kind of loneliness he feels would be much different from human loneliness....if T'Pel and his children are like parts of him #then the second he entered the delta quadrant he was decapitated five times over #there's something very Tuvok about the singer saying that whoever's reaching out to them could never understand their loneliness because #they don't /know/ them...when the person seems to actively be /trying/ to get to know them...but the singer doesn't feel it's worth it #because they don't know them...it's a lil lonely paradox #and it's so sad that EVEN THEN....the BEST case scenario if you do prove that your thoughts are 'all holy'....the VERY BEST thing that could #happen is that he'll PRETEND that you know him (like you've always wanted to) #which again reminds me of Tuvok ... no one can /know/ him in the way Vulcans know each other...the way his family knows him #I love reading too deep into things so hop into my scuba with me please #okay so sometimes I think about how Tuvok is so gung-ho about mindmelds and I wonder if it's like...almost a comfort to do them #to have someone in his mind - to be known for a bit the way he's been known for decades by another #and it's not healthy literally at all but no one on Voyager can tell that v_v #Tuvok doing an alley mind meld with a weird criminal being akin to a terrible one night stand that you get into just because you can't sleep #alone again #which is also why unfortunately 'sex is good' by saving abel is tangentially a Tuvok song...but ONLY if you have my weirdo deep sea glasses #I also wonder if Tuvok's emotional regulation is a bit out of wack due to T'Pel not being there...like I'm sure he derived some comfort from #there bond and depended on her when like...idk man he had a bad day and he can't talk about it with anyone BUT her because it's /emotions/ #Like Zac Oyama said: 'Sometimes when someone dies they were the person you wanted to talk to about it' #Tuvok missing T'Pel and only feeling able to talk to T'Pel about it - fuck.

[oorevitcejda]

if people were more honest with themselves they'd realize how fucking sexy disability/mobility aids truly are, ive never been more sexy in makeshift wraps and oversized shirts this is the fucking (HAH) pinnacle

#nothing is more sexy than being comfy and im at my PEAK #ti talks #i feel like shit physically but i have never been more attracted to myself #im in one of those lets see what happens moods in on a roll #if anyone seen my meltdown a few posts ago yes you did bc im not ashamed of my feelings i love hard i hate hard #i hate so rarely but when i do oh fucking boy i do #this weeken is the end #THIS WEEKEND IS THE END #GET FUCKING READY #[this is my diary im talking to myself no one actually has to talk to me lmaoooo this is not an invite dw] #unless you want it to be lmaooo im very manic rn #happy mdd off pill for 5 days #oh shit lmao thats probably what is happening but it still is lmao #anyway #nothing online is happening this is irl for me its going the FUCK DOWN and they have til monday before the hammer comes down #ive had a *busy* week yall 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 #this is a personal post but uhhh if you wanna rb *WITHOUT TAGS* (or your own and *NONE* of mine) then ok #but i will revoke the ability if anyone takes these tags

[stupidnaturals]

.

#GAH hate not knowing how ppl feel about me #bc i used to be SUPER close friends w this person like they were ~25% of th reason i came back to my uni town after moving away last summer #and i keep texting them like ' hey we should meet up sometime! ' and they respond ' omg YES 100% i have SO much i need to catch you up on ! #unfortunately i am out of town every single day. also so busy. ' #and like yeah okay college very busy life very crazy. but how are you out of town every single day and also why have you NEVER reached out #and i saw them in person at target and they seemed genuinely pleased to see me! and also said something like #' we gotta hang out i have so much to tell you!! *ill* message *you* ' in a way that seemed to convey guilt at ^^ all that #but then how in the WORLD do you happen to be driving out of town immediately after the one event i know we'll both be going to??? #and also casually gracing over the fact i also mentioned getting dinner beforehand?? #also i dont know any reason they wouldnt like me unless its one of those ' im autistic and didnt notice you getting fed up w me ' #or if theyre just actually that busy or too anxious to see people or anxious to reach out or fucking whatever #and like even when i saw them at target they told me a bunch of stuff that i dont tthink youd say to a random acquaintance #which if they do still like me makes sense! bc we were super duper close once! but doesnt make sense if they dislike me/want me to go away #like UGH just either ask me to hang out or say yes to a hang out or tell me to fuck off already!!!! #oh and ALSO the one time we DID have plans we didnt set an exact time but they texted me at like 11 and said ok we can hang out now until 2 #or they texted me at 11 and said ' i work at 2 but i dont think thats gonna be a problem also are you okay w hanging w my roomies too ' #and i know their roomies so thats fine but i was like ??? WHAT shouldnt be an issue? r you gonna call off to hang out for more than 3 hrs? #or are you gonna friend break up w me so it wont take 3 hours #anyway i was like uhhh shit we didnt set a time so im actually at a tattoo place like an hour away w my roomie? #so we rescheduled for the next day when uh oh they hung out w someone who was exposed to covid so had to cancel again! #i cant think of a single reason they wouldnt like me except that they never did but we had an activity together so they were stuck w me #and they seemed genuinely happy to see me and also seem upset declining plans but like if thats true what the FUCK is happening???? #anyway this was a mile long if you e read this far i love u if you have tips feel free to reply or dm me

[marigoldstereo]

beginning to think i might need to get reevaluated

#in general i dont believe in labels because for me they've done more harm than good #HOWEVER i think i need a professional to tell me 'oh yeah you've got like 8 personality disorders' #JUST so i know what im dealing with. i need a starting point. #anyway i'm beginning to think my narcissist phase wasn't actually a phase #i've gone through everything i can to be like 'ok whats triggering me whats making me feel like shit' #and it comes back to the same thing every time -- im not getting the hyperspecific kind of attention i want #and this alone wouldn't make me believe im a narcissist #but then i remember i have no empathy #and i view people as 98% below me and there's that holy 2% that're above me #and that i get angry when people close to me are upset over something i deem a non-issue #and then im like.... huh. i might be a narcissist. #i thought it was residual from being raised by a narcissist #but uhhh no i think thats just the way i am. #i'm trying to explore it more cause i don't believe in self-dx nor do i know anyone with actual npd #(the one person i do know and can talk to about it is fucking annoying so im not doing that) #anyway im going through it because i hate everything i do right now

[devilishdelights]

I played the demo and apparently vere can kill us? Not me tho I’m just 2 good 😎🔥💯

#me playing this game: omg why is everyone so flirty… why r they all blushing like damn lol…….. u good bro? #also me: forgets it’s a fucking romance game #he’d kill me for this cringe ass post tho and that’s the point!!! #I love all the chars sm… vere and ais weren’t exactly what I was expecting personality wise and I love them sm more tbh #I only did kuras’ little path for now bc my computer was on fuckin fire #the art is sooo fucking GOOD though. like fucking hell #every time a character got their big close up I was 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 like god damn #ALSO WE GOT OUR ARM FUCKIN CUT CLEAN OFF LMAOOO I WASNT EXPECTING THAT #…..how do u get him to kill u tho. asking 4 a friend. hehe #is it just when u choose the disinterested answers instead of flirting back? #now I wanna make a little intro scene like theirs w/ selias #I’m thinking of doing the uhhh. guy we drove crazy’s POV of MC possibly. or MC getting their arm sliced off LMAO #also the entire time I imagined Selias in the outfit I designed…. only for it to get decimated at the start 💔 #BUT kuras apparently lends u a black cloak w/ embroidery… win for me by luck!!!!! selias’ isn’t exactly a cloak it’s more of a coat but #I’ll run with it

[pepprs]

meant to post abt this yesterday and ik it’s kinda mean but i think the counselor i have rn is the worst one ive ever had possibly even worse than (or tied w) the one i had over the summer who kept ending our sessions well before the full hour was up when i was going thru a horrible time and kept spending the sessions mostly talking abt herself and her own problems. actually no now that i write that out she was probably the worst (though she was one of the warmest / nicest and our personalities meshedreally well so i feel bad saying that she was the worst). but the one i have now is so…. lke idk. my experience w the worst counselor made me rly want to work w a clinical intern again bc i wanted someone who would like. actuallytake things seriously and give me the time i was paying for and spend all of it talki ng abt the things i was paying to talk abt and draw from the most recent / cutting edge info instead of entirely personal experience (WHICH AGAIN I FEEL SO BAD ABT BECAUSE. my work is all abt healing each other by sharing things like that and i realt did like her but it just wasn’t appropriate i guess bc it was a counseling relationship!) but my current counselor is so… rigid and restrictive. like i think he is trying too hard to apply what he’s being taught and he seems like nervous and talking out of his ass and he masks that by taking up SO much space and spending like 3 minutes responding to every one minute i talk and literally like strongarmimg the convos and deciding what we’re going to talk about and moving us on to a new topic abruptly before i feel ready to move on and like taking time out of our sessions to do paperwork / admin stuff so he doesn’t forget later (and a lot of the time i think he’s doing it while im talking bc i see his eyes moving around his screen and the light on his face like he’s not even listening to me). and it fucking sucks. i want to crack him like an egg so bad and make him realize it doesn’t have to be this way but i know that’s not my responsibility and in our session last night i basically gave up trying to create enough space for myself and just let him steer things bc i was having side effects and it was just rly unsatisfying

#purrs #i know it is entirely within my right to address these things both for my sake and for his / his future clients but im so scared lol like i #don’t want to tell him he’s doing a bad job and making it hard for me to navigate but literally when you keep steamrolling and silencing me #and cutting me off and forcing me around… yeah. also he has to record our sessions and show them to his profs / supervisors and it’s so like #idk. ive been recorded in sessions before and im totally fine w it but there’s 2 things abt this specific instance of it thst distress and #annoy me. 1) when we sign on to our session he says like 2 things to me then starts the recording and is TOTALLY fake and forcing it like #hello tess welcome to our session and he’ll repeat some of the stuff he said but in a more like.. extensive way so it just feels rly fake #to me lol. WHICH ALSO REMINDS ME 1.5) not related to the recording but every time he asks me questions he asks like… 3 questions but doesn’t #give me space to answer the two like it’s just a bridge for him as he&/ working his way to the thing he actually wants to ask me and i #fucking hate when ppl ask me questions and then answer them themselves or like don’t want to hear the answer. i had 2 profs like that in #brighton and it fucking pissed me offff so being around someone who does that again is rly agitating ik it’s just a nervous habit but yeah. #and 2) i am kinda concerned that none of my counselors profs or supervisors have seemed to call him on how he doesn’t give me space or let #me guide the convo. like idk maybe it’s just that all of my counselors before him were too loose w me but i feel like it s not supposed to f #feel this rigid and i am kinda scared abt the implications of no one actually watching these recordings and see how i try to speak but he #almost always talks over me and i just give up. lol. i like him he’s a nice person i just think he’s nervous and trying too hard and it #would be passable for like.. the little kid clients who usually go there but it doesn’t feel good for me a 23 year old who has had like what #6 counselors before him all of whom gave me space and didn’t shove me around. i miss the counselors i had from oct 2020 - jul 2021 and sept #2021 - feb 2022 they were the best ever and i am inches away from terminating here and just trying to go to wherever they are full time now #and working w them again bc they rly got me and i didn’t know how good i had it lol. i guess i don’t need someone as good anymore bc things #in my life are objectively better than they were during those times but my mental health is still bad so i would uhhh… like someone good #and don’t think that’s too much to ask and need to get it into my head that i CAN ask it. ok rant over #*no one actually watching the recordings has seen / pointed out to him how he steamrolls me etc etc

[waywardsalt]

before i actually go through the phantom hourglass manga to critique it i’m going to quickly just toss out a bullet point list of things i actually liked in the ph manga

- i like how the stuff w/ tetra in the first chapter not only sets her up but serves to contrast how she is as a captain vs. how linebeck initially is as a captain. the line ‘as captain, nothing is more important than the lives of my crew’ specifically

- link’s cute. hes just a little guy

- i’m a big fan of the added detail that linebeck tends to stick out his bottom lip. it fits really well with his character. as a smaller side note i like the way his nose is drawn. i just like the shape they went with lol

- the bit with the point card for eddo’s garage that is specifically noted to be Not In The Video Game is good

- for all intents and purposes what is done with the bellumbeck fight is really good

thats it everything else i either feel neutral about or hate/feel frustrated with

#salty talks #bitching about the loz manga #anyways i think its also worth adding some of my personal opinions about ph in general to add some context for my later opinions #i dont like jolene. like to a visceral degree. i dont know why but im physically incapable of enjoying her. #which is bizarre bc like??? i think griffith is a great character i think makima is fascinating. but jolene ph is the one i cannot stand #i hate her because i think she's fucking annoying and isn't justified in half of what she does but like. why the visceral hatred. idk #maybe its a side effect of my rabid linebeck special interest. anyways sorry i think shes awful #in all fairness tho to me shes actually better in the manga #also. i dont actually like fatherly linebeck stuff much and dont read him as being fatherly towards link so i wont talk abt that stuff #uhhh i think linebecks arc in the game is really good and i also think that the normal order of the three final bosses is great #i also think that the second half of the game has some good stuff in it even if it's less plot-heavy compared to the first half #i think that phantom hourglass has genuine unique potential to be fantastic if given an extended adaptation that gives a shit #and that is partially why im going to spend a bit more time on this one #i will also say that despite whatever i say abt this one i do admit that i like and appreciate it. it still has problems tho #why'd they do astrid like that. i dont like manga astrid. i dont like her design or most of her dialogue. #why was she weird to linebeck like that. be nice to him. hes clearly gay #as far as im concerned at least

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

wishing i had access to the poll feature so i could get help of making the decision on what color to dye my roots

#i really have no clue what color i wanna do just that i wanna do *a* color yk? #uhhh actually yknwhat fuck it first person to send me an ask or smth telling me what color i should do and ill do whatever's send first #im hoping to go to the store tonight to get dye so...