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#sometimes its easier just to paint over the unknown with my own colors and hide it from my sight
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If I know enough about everything I won't fear anything
#knowledge isn't just power. it's power over fear and the unknown.#if i eradicate the unknown i can't fear it#or at least bring the unknown down to a manageable level#who cares if i don't know what i ate for breakfast 20 days ago? that unknown is nothing to fear.#but death? that is an unknown to fear.#and i cant make myself hide behind religion#unless i believe the stories i make so much that they consume my thoughts#sometimes its easier just to paint over the unknown with my own colors and hide it from my sight#but that isnt a long-term solution. no. pretending i know the unknown doesnt make it known. it just makes another possibility.#but if i know all the possibilities#then i can be prepared for whatever the unknown turns out to be#and then i will have a solid plan#even if that plan is to simply accept what could be as it happens#that's still a better plan than just wandering through life right next to the answers but too scared to look them in the face#i am really tired and slowly descending into madness which means i rant about shit like this#i don't need to know everything. i just need to know ENOUGH.#but what draws the line between enough and too much?#will i ever obtain the arbitrary amount of knowledge i think is enough or will i forever search for knowledge that cannot exist?#i don't know.#but i can find out.#knowing enough will take a while#maybe i don't need to know everything. i just need to be aware of all the possibilities and use that to determine what's most likely.#idk. i need sleep.#if anyone besides me happens to read this- you also need sleep go to bed
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askmyboys · 3 years
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I’d call these more, my own interpretations instead of just OCs
I’ll tell you how this happened tho, i was literally just comin back from a l o n g ass road trip listenin to the musical and my tired lil brain started thinkin bout these boys and i was like ...what if i just,, made my o w n versions of em? What if I just,, and then boom, out popped well, this-
| Names: Henry Jekyll and Edward Hyde
| Nicknames: Jekyll doesn’t much care for nicknames but Hyde calls him Jek, Hen or Hen-Hen, or Henny which he REALLY hates. For the other, it’s either Ed or just simply Hyde ...Jekyll has given him many ‘nicknames’ mostly they are hateful ones tbh.
| Genders: Henry goes by he/him and Hyde goes by he/him and it/its
| Ages: Unknown but they are both adults
| Heights: Jekyll is 5’7” and Hyde is like 6’6” for sure (even tho they inhabit the same body, fuck it, im makin the rules ..andchangingthemfromtheogthing but i say height changes when Hyde’s in control)
| Species/Races: Henry’s a human ofc and Hyde? Honestly, idk what this thing is, all i can tell you is he’s stinky
| Eye Colors: Jekyll’s eyes are a Baby Blue color and Hyde’s eyes are Blood Red (ooh e d g y man)
| Hair Colors: Jekyll’s hair is honestly a messy curly undercut and the color of it is a dark brown and he has gray on the sides meanwhile Hyde’s hair is Black and in a spiked quiff style and he also has gray on the sides
| Skin Colors/Body Types: Jek’s a BIT pale but Hyde’s a much more- his skin is definitely more so a Whitish Gray kinda color so it’s definitely more noticeable than Jek’s skin if you look close enough at that (things do have to change when a certain one is in control of the body, can’t be EXACTLY the same or else it might give away that their the same person hehe) and their body types don’t really change- Jek’s body type is skinny (nothing TOO bad ofc, just a tad bit) if Hyde had his own body he’d definitely be a more average kinda bulkier build.
| Appearances: Okay first things first- they both have circle beards EXCEPT Hyde’s is a LOT more scruffier (he also has thicker sideburns btw!) and a BIT more grown out than Jek’s which is trimmed a bit more and groomed perfectly.
Jekyll usually has the typical lab coat on and a baby blue turtleneck underneath it, he also has blue pants that he wears with it as well and some oxford shoes that match the outfit, he also wears circle glasses as well (they help him see a lot better p much whereas when Hyde’s in control he doesn't really need em actually) Henry has a GOOD amount of scars all over his body, whether it be by accident, inflicted on purpose, or something more… It’s partially why he keeps his turtleneck on mostly and the lab coat helps as well- he’s ashamed of the scars and he tries to hide them especially so no one will worry about him, also for some more minor details- he wears a black watch on his wrist as well (he has no piercings or nothin like that) that’s p much it for Jek tbh, his features are p much 100% human so uh yeye
Now onto Hyde’s outfit- And yes, keep in mind- he’s still kinda,, an entity or whatever the fuck he is inside Henry’s body essentially but he DOES change his clothes when going out- his main one for going out is usually a black cloak he wears around himself (the outfit underneath is a black suit vest with a long dark red tie (his shirt underneath the suit vest is a dark red long sleeved shirt), he also wears black pants, and dark red oxford shoes, and of course he’s got a black top hat on (the band on it is red, definitely keeping a black n red themed appearance here aint he?) (his other outfits, hm I can leave up to the imagination tbh this is just for when he’s travelling around and so other people don’t spot him nearly as easily, especially when it’s n i g h t t i m e…) he’ll wear whatever the fuck he wants, and it doesn’t have to be fancy in the s l i g h t e s t- he has a variety of options.
He also has pointed ears, razor sharp teeth (got them bear trap teeth but not only that, he’s got a lot more s e c r e t teefs than that ;) he’s a lot more monstrous on the inside than the outside i’ll say that much, Jek’s n Hyde’s anatomy does change and transform depending on who gains control ...honestly it probs hurt to have your body transform and shift like that ouchie) he also has multiple tongues, he has claws that he painted black and red for the a e s t h e t i c s ya know- and hell at this point he might as well have tentacles ...He might- but I mean if you really wanna know, fuck around and find out for yourself and fuck it- he also has a dark red devil style tail since he wanna act like fuckin Satan himself smh
...I made him a lot more monstrous than originally planned but eh its fitting- bc this is Jek’s body even with a LOT of changes in these regards, he’s got the same scars n such as that, he also wears black and red spiral gauges in his ears (I should also say, he can technically hide these features to make himself appear more human, i didnt originally intend on giving him any actual monstrous features except maybe sharp teeth, claws, n the pointed ears but here we are, he still gotta not arouse suspicion around him too much tho) also his eyes have dark circles around them, not because he’s a tired man he’s just a fucking- hellish bastard who loves to look intimidating.
| Personalities: Let’s uhh start off with Jekyll because he’s better and nicer and not nasty and gross n smelly looking- He’s kind, sweet, compassionate, caring, honestly wouldn’t hurt a fly himself- could never willingly hurt someone! A sweet babey man! He’s very intelligent- I mean,, he IS a Doctor after all, he takes pride in his work but it’s not that overbearing narcissistic type pride, he’s just proud of the breakthroughs he’s made ...Granted, there is one “breakthrough” he wished he could take back .. -glancing slowly at Hyde in the reflection of the mirror- ahem- but he’s always been pretty outgoing but a lot has changed since, that abomination came into his life, sure he still tries his best to be a good person, he tries his very damnedest to find some sorta way to separate or better yet a way to destroy this evil vile beast that plagues his and everyone else’s lives! He’d rather destroy Hyde than separate from him because even then, it's still back to square one only with worse damage since he’d be of his own free will now.
He shuts himself away in his Lab a LOT, as much as he can anyways to avoid going out and risking something more happening to anyone else, of course…
There is no avoiding the outside world forever, he needs things to eat and drink, he needs things to keep his body functioning and not to mention not going outside could drive him, well, more insane than he already feels he is- He just tries to be as quick as he can about it before the other takes control or tries to, Jek definitely has a lotta anxieties and fears, and ya know at this point I mean,, hell- the man’s got trauma- Sometimes he wonders if any of this is actually real, if he had just gone insane and was just imagining all this, sometimes his head hurt because of all the thoughts and potential scenarios along with their outcomes plagued his mind, he feels a lot of things he never thought he’d feel towards anyone, he feels anger and hatred toward Hyde but in a way aside from feeling so negatively toward the other, he can’t help but admire the way Hyde wishes to just simply l i v e, and even before this beast became apart of him… He was always anxious deep down and almost scared to take that jump when needed.
But Hyde? Hyde doesn’t seem to even c a r e! That thing lives it’s life without any care whatsoever, he doesn’t have any anxieties or fears at all it seems! In a way, Henry might even be a lil envious toward the other’s carefree attitude and that he’s free of anxieties and fears ...H-He still doesn’t want the other around, he still wishes to destroy Hyde of course, even with the envy and maybe a slight bit of admiration he has his morals and principals, and if Hyde continues to exist or w o r s e gets his own body it could prove v e r y perilous.
Now onto… Eugh, Hyde- The bastard man himself- He’s stinky- an evil bastard who really needs just a good punch in the face (god don't do it yourself tho, he’ll probs eat ur entire arm) Hyde’s absolutely disgusting, will do ANYTHING to get what he desires, he can be narcissistic in some regards, VERY prideful and greedy in many ways, he isn’t above committing murder like really, was he EVER above it? If he wanted, he’d literally murder you not even for a bag of corn chips but literally just one, psh- selling you to satan for one? Bah that’s amateur’s work! He’s somehow a minor inconvenience who can commit REALLY nasty and horrible atrocities at the same time if he feels like it, if he finds out something annoys you or REALLY pisses you off he’s going to keep doing it, he will literally try driving you insane just for the fun of it, really at this point it doesn’t seem like he HAS much of a goal but to just l i v e and cause chaos, destruction, and mayhem wherever he goes, he despises Jekyll in many ways, one being for trying to destroy him first and foremost but also Henny is just s o fucking weak, such a weak man with far too many anxieties, fears, etc- He’d be SO much better of a man if he’d simply let Hyde take control and STAY in control!
It’d make everything a lot easier, then Jek wouldn’t have to worry about ANYTHING ever again! No more of that pathetic nonsense! If it were possible, Hyde would absolutely l o v e to have his own body, separate from Jekyll, that way he could have his own life separate from that pathetic weakling’s! But… Even then, Jekyll and Hyde are one, in many ways they are absolutely apart of one another, two sides of the same coin, even with their MAJOR differences in personality and Hyde almost seeming like an entirely different entity just merely possessing Jekyll, after all, Hyde will admit it himself, he spawned from deep within Jekyll’s mind, he’s tried to get the other to see time and time again that he’s always been apart of the other deep down, Jek’s always had a more mad and evil side to him! Even if the other will deny this and take the denial to his grave, Hyde always persists in trying to get the other to see the truth in front of his eyes!
Aside from that tho, Hyde is just generally a dick and loves to mess with Jek and terrify him sometimes for literally no reason, hell he could be bored one day and decide “Hey Henny, fuck you, you suck” he loves to start drama, he loves to cause problems on purpose- Both of them would give anything to separate from each other, even if Hyde knows the truth deep down bout the both of them, even if he were always originally a part of Jekyll, it didn’t matter, that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to get his own body, away from that pathetic coward of a man!
| Side Facts: Jekyll rarely ever gets to relax or any free time, he’s too worried to give himself that in fear he’ll lose control, he’s almost CONSTANTLY fighting to keep control over the other, even though he knows it's physically impossible to do so, after all, he can’t stay awake forever, sure that doesn’t stop him from trying to stay awake as long as he can before his body practically forces him to pass out and he’s MUCH weaker than he used to be, I mean hell, given how long Jekyll seems to have been around, fighting SO much and almost EVERY single day has practically worn his body down but whenever there is an opportunity for any “free” time he usually spends it trying to figure out an antidote or a way to get rid of Hyde (I will say, before Hyde REALLY started doing bastardous n horrendous things, Jek would still get annoyed with him bc he was always that way but he actually, I’d say tolerated him more so than he does by now) and Hyde even- well, he still disliked Henry IMMENSELY so, but he definitely wasn’t as bad or as awful as he is to the other now, it was more so I tolerate you and we dont have to seriously fight or struggle with each other for control and back then Jek would even sometimes let Hyde have control.
But then… A serious incident (I wont name what exactly) but a serious incident that happened caused the two to absolutely despise each other (i didnt say up there, yes, Hyde absolutely despises Jekyll but there is some heavily hidden admiration in regards to the other’s determination, his persistence, and even somewhat of his creativity, Jekyll despite being an annoying nuisance in Hyde’s way, he does have some admirable things about him) but anyway- ever since that incident occurred, Jek has tried almost EVERYTHING he knew of to get rid of Hyde, even if separation from his body would still be bad bc that could mean Hyde would obtain his own body honestly? I believe Jekyll would still take that opportunity if he were given it, if he needed, he’d try and find someway to stop Hyde’s evil, maybe it’d be easier even if the other had his own body, he didn’t know, he just wishes he could be free from all this torment and agony like gosh damn give this man a b r e a k. Give him some fruit gummies and an appy juice carton and leave him be!
When Hyde is in control he wastes little time in finding things to do, being able to be out, to see the world, the world ripe for chaos and destruction, he wastes little time in getting straight to work with whatever his devious lil mind wants to think of- also for more monstrous purposes, back up there, I was p vague with the mention of teeth on his insides- p much teeth going down his throat and hell who knows, the bastard probably has teeth on the inside of his stomach at this rate- Another not so fun fact, this man can unhinge his jaw! Yaaay so u can see sharp teefs! ...He does have to kinda set his jaw back in place though bc god forbid Jek takes control then.
Smh imagine taking back control of your body only to have a fucking dislocated j a w wouldn’t that be hellish?
Hyde rarely ever does this for a few reasons- he only does it if he’s in the mood for just takin a big chomp outta someone (big chompy) just, just please- lock this thing away- or kill it, it's a menace to society and deserves nothing good- two more things btw, tbh I genuinely wasnt even considering inhuman features at first but ya know, I compromised- he has them he just chooses to hide them more often and speaking of, while Hyde says he’s always been apart of Jekyll (well this version I made anyway) that deep down their two sides of the same coin, can you really believe him? I mean, I’m not going to spoil it and tell ya anything in that regard, but who knows, who knows what Hyde REALLY is, whether or not he’s always been apart deep down inside of Jek or just some form of entity that spawned via that wonderful little formula.
And the final thing is, their voices are p much based on the musical ones' voices- Hyde’s is that deeper n raspier kinda voice while Jek’s is much softer and ya know POLITE sounding.
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fics-not-tragedies · 4 years
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Memories to be made: Chapter 1
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one - two - three
I was quite anxious to post it at first, because, compared to my other fics, this is a totally different thing, but @ladyreapermc, @toomanystoriessolittletime & @solariumss​ talked me into doing it nonetheless. Hopefully it will be something worth reading!
SUMMARY: Emelia sees a handsome man on a street outside a cafe where her best friend works and she decides to run after him. Words:  3861; Warnings: none;
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The rain that was pouring all over London finally decided to stop, at least for a while, the sun desperately trying to shine through the heavy black clouds that swarmed the sky that not-so-long-ago was in an enchanting shade of pastel blue.
Everything felt better and much easier when the sky was just simply blue, with few fuzzy white clouds sliding through it here and there. They were almost identical to those small herds of sheep, unaffected by anything, bleating loudly, moving little by little and eating out the grass from the Cardiff’s cliffs.
The sky was the prettiest at nights, those ones spend alone or with someone you love, away from the city. Cloudless nights were the most impeccable moments when you could spend your time by gazing skyward. Their brightness was remarkable, making every constellation easy to see.
At times, when the night wasn't enough and the darkness was too consuming, it felt like all of those striking stellar phenomenons hide somewhere deep or every single one of them was sucked into a black hole leaving only the absorbing obscurity of the starless night.
Too early? Give Tea a Chance.
The slogan on the wide billboard right across the street caught her eye. She flinched in her sit closer to the window that was still covered in the droplets of rain, doing her best to focus on the advertisement and power-off her restless mind just for a moment.
There were two cups filled with tea and a teapot standing in the middle between them, the image printed on thin paper glued to the advertising board. The edge of it was peeling off slightly, flapping freely from side to side when wind blew in the right direction. She could imagine how the teapot, as well as the pair of cups, rips entirely from the board and flies away in an unknown direction, somewhere far from this gloomy city, to rise up the sales of tea elsewhere. Only though London was the perfect city to advertise a new brand of tea that was supposed to work as a coffee equivalent for those that cannot drink the stronger beverage.
Even not being a strong fan of tea she already wanted to buy the advertised brand and just simply drink it. She was curious if the tea was made from the tea leaves only or maybe it had those tiny pieces of dried fruit and edible flowers mixed in between them.
New brand of tea. Something fresh to occupy her mind.
At least for now.
When she’d be back home she would once again rummage through all of her stuff trying to search for the chunks of her mind she’s lost. She will look at those old Polaroid pictures still not remembering any single thing that was happening in the moment they were taken, nor any person that was posing on them with her.
“With your feet on the air and your head on the ground
You try this trick and spin, yeah
Your head will collapse, there is nothing in it
And you ask yourself?”
The subwoofer was placed somewhere around her seat and she could feel how the basses were thudding in her chest now, filling her whole body with a somehow pleasant feeling, she could swear was remarkably familiar.
“Where is my mind? Where is my mind?
Where is my mind? Where is my mind?
Way out, in the water see her swimmin'”
“This one exceptionally fits now, doesn't it?” reaching for her mug filled with icy coffee she turned towards the couple of her friends, who are eyeing her with concerned look on their faces.
“We were just saying that, Lia...” the red haired woman leans over the small coffee table, “A-are you okay?” she touches her hands, closing them around hers that are still gripping the mug, when she places it back on the marble surface of the table.
“Yes love, perfectly fine. My mind just got lost around this new tea” she points to the billboard, tapping on the glass with her short nail that’s painted in the shade called Russian Red.
It’s easy to recall, the name of the crimson varnish she has now on her every nail, the two coats neatly spread everywhere, without any missing spots or parts that are peeling off; yesterday she went to the beauty salon with the intent of making an usual choice, but this time, the name caught here eye and she opted for this classical color.
She never really had her nails painted red, but she knew that somehow she was a different person now and the change required a new varnish shade, the one she never used before.
They turn their heads to the side where her finger was placed against the cold glass, gazes following its direction.
Few things changed when she looked away for a moment; the wind stopped now, the peeled off edge of the advertisement wasn’t flying from side to side any more; and there was this man...
Standing too far from her to see his face, that was also covered with a pair of black sunglasses, he was simply standing by the fence, taking another drag from his cigarette. The white shirt he was wearing partially tucked into his pants, the black jacket probably miss-matched from a fancy suit.
There was something magnetizing about the way he casually ran his fingers through the fluff of his brown, near shoulder-length hair.
It didn’t seemed like he noticed her heart-shaped face pressed close to the window, eyes glued to his figure, breathing in his every movement. He looked like he just got out of some kind of business meeting, the black jacket of his suit comfortably unbuttoned now, squeezing the muscles of his arms, complimenting the whole look.
She was enchanted by him.
Since the accident she wasn’t really thinking about men, except for her dad and her close friend, that was now joking about something with her bestie. Still stuck on him, unable to look away now, move on and pay attention to anything else except for him, she was almost frozen in time, admiring the view of the smoking man.
Her hand wandered unconsciously to her neck, making her head tilt to the side, so she could have a better access to it, before she pressed her own fingers to it.
“Don’t scratch it!” she was scolded by her friend and even though she almost shouted, her loud voice interrupting everyone in the café, it this wasn't stopping her from sliding slim fingers back under the black turtleneck and rub them harshly against her scarred neck.
The weather was lovely, well except from the rain that was pouring down from the dark clouds from time to time, and she wore the knitted piece of clothing only with the purpose of covering her dreadful scars.
“Not scratching, just stroking them” her hand stopped moving and she just kept it pressed closely to her neck, feeling how the vein in it was pulsing, becoming more aware of her presence in the wicker chair and her face that was practically pressed against the wet window.
“Both means the same in your dictionary now” the blond man that was sitting silently next to the red haired woman finally spoke, standing up from the chair he was comfortably huddled in, “snap out of it babe” he walks over to the brunette and takes her hand out of the hem of her turtleneck, “ooooh... A GUY... he caught your eye, hasn't he?” She turns her head to look at her friend, giving him the death stare.
“Shouldn't you be working Jimmy? Bet your break already ended” she scans his apron dressed figure and raises her eyebrow, feeling how it begins to twitch slightly, the rapid movements of her body being unable to control sometimes.
Hoping that neither of them noticed the rapture motion happening on her face she quickly turned her head back to the window.
The fluffy guy was now gone from the spot where he had a quick smoke few minutes ago.
She outstretched her neck, pressing her forehead to the glass, only to catch a glimpse of his back dressed in the black suit jacket.
Tiny gasp left her mouth when she knew she wouldn't ever see him again.
Ever.
In her whole life time.
“Is it okay to run after a guy I haven’t met yet?” Her own question echoed in the café. The fiery haired female just rolled her eyes, while Jimmy walked to the door and opened them widely, the bell hung above them ringed, filling the place with its metallic tone, gesturing for her to just go for it.
“Emelia-Grace, if he caught your eye just grab your bag and run after him. He’s probably walking on the London Bridge now. Just fucking run babe!” She threw the bag onto her lap and waved her hands showing her to get up and go.
“You've got a point Macy, love you boooth!” Emelia shouted, putting the shoulder strap of her bag across her body and she immediately took a sharp right turn after running out of the café.
Her auburn locks were jumping around her face when she was sprinting through the sidewalk, bumping onto random pedestrians that were just passing by. Heartbeat raced up, breathing close to panting now, she kept stomping with her leather boots again and again, keeping a steady pace, trying to catch up with the guy she just saw.
Emelia noticed him at the beginning of the London Bridge, where he stopped for a moment to have another cigarette. Slowing down a bit, she tried to regain her breath, trying to calm her raced up pulse before even opening her mouth with the intent of speaking to him.
Sauntering closer she was able to notice all of his features and as he turned around, facing her now, and she couldn't help but smile. He somehow reminded her of a poet, that became fed up with his creativity and got out for a walk across London.
She approached him carefully, like he was a wild animal that needed to be tamed, smiling at him when he noticed her and took the glasses off his nose, hiding them inside the pocket of his jacket. His eyes were scanning her up and down, flicking between her face and the curves of her body, when she realized that corners of her mouth raised, she felt the courage kicking in, spring in her step making her move swiftly towards him.
“This might sound too upfront, but I noticed you while you were having a smoke right in front of the café one block away from here” she stopped there for a moment, taking a deep breath before speaking again, “and you caught my eye. E-especially the hair, so soft and fluffy” gesturing closely to the side of his head she made him giggle a little.
He scrunched his nose, rubbing it with his fingers, looking away from her, but only for a moment, his eyes wandering back to her face almost immediately.
“Yeah, apparently there’s summat about it that catch girl’s attention” smiling at her, the upper row of his whitened teeth exposed in the wide grin that appeared on his face, she took one step closer to her and reached out with his hand offering her a handshake, “I’m Keanu, Keke, Ke, whatever you like to call me, really.”
Then, she hesitated, stopping her hand from moving, before she extended it fully and pressed it into the warmth of his palm. It felt awkward at first, until he hasn't moved even closer, lifting her hand up to his face and pecking its soft skin with his chapped lips.
“A true gentleman, what a surprise in this times...” a giggle left her mouth when Keanu bowed down again to press another kiss onto her hand, “Quite an unusual name, for a gentleman like you, Keanu… I’m Emelia, Em, Emmy or Lia, pick the one you fancy the most” after telling him her name she unexpectedly became silent, thinking if she got it right and didn't just made it all up along with the nicknames.
But her name was the first thing she noticed on the plastic bracelet that was wrapped around her wrist when she woke up in the hospital, the painkillers numbing everything and clouding her mind, even though somehow she still remembered her full name printed on the thin band she had carefully attached to her limb.
It wasn't just the creation of her mind which was still missing few major pieces. Her name was real and so is she now, standing in front of the most handsome guy she ever met.
On the other side of the sidewalk Keanu was taken aback by the softness of her distant gaze, revealing the fact that her thoughts were somewhere far from the spot on London Bridge where they were standing now. He still held her hand in his, caressing its top with his thumb, feeling the roughness of the scar she had inside her palm pressed against his skin. Parting his lips he almost spoke, asking her about it, but only a gasp left his mouth and he closed it shut.
Her curly hair was falling onto her shoulders, tangled under the strap of her bag. The sun decided to surprise them with peeking from behind one of the heavy clouds, highlighting all of the different bronze and gold hues she had hidden in her locks. The glance of her emerald eyes still stuck in a distant place, it seemed like she got lost somewhere along her memory lane and this tad bit of reality, with him right in front of her.
Emelia pouted her lips, blinked few times and her eyes focused back on Keanu’s gently freckled face.
“Glad to have you back on Earth” he rubbed her hand once again before finally letting go of it, “good memories or bad ones?” the huskiness of his voice was too pleasant for her ears, making her heart beat faster.
“The ones I can remember” only one side of her mouth raised, the crooked grimace she gave him forced, like she was angry at herself for not being able to remember everything she needed to keep locked safely in her mind.
“What?” His both eyebrows raised, eyes wide open, mouth agape, he slightly tilted his head like he didn’t really understood what he just said, blinking quickly few times and furrowing his brows.
“I-It’s too complicated...” she gasped, her hand shoot upwards and onto her neck, the urge to scratch the scarred skin too strong to simply avoid, it felt like her own body was making her do it unwillingly.
With the last bit of consciousness kicking in, she simply brushed the skin with her fingers, putting them under the turtleneck, like she was doing it in a way of flirting with him.
She wanted to avoid drawing any type of attention to her safely hidden neck, but mimicking flirting seemed more rational than just simply scratching roughly her already reddened skin, showing him that there’s something wrong with her unnatural behavior.
Noticing her gesture and how she moved her palm away from her body, squeezing her fingers with her other hand and rubbed them together; Keanu just smiled, partly to himself, partly to her and Emelia noticed the way his eyes were hooded now, not because of the sun that was shining too brightly now, blinding him, his sunglasses tucked inside his pocket and not on his face, but because he was focused on her, waiting for her another reaction, a barely noticeable rise of the corner of her mouth, twitch of her eyebrow or a head tilt mixed with usual puppy eyes.
He met many girls that had green eyes, but there was something diverse about hers.
They weren't just simply green. When he saw their color when she was slowly but surely approaching him they looked like the fields outside of L.A. in the spring. Juicy grass swinging from side to side, bent by the warm wind.
Now, when she was close to him, in the reach of his arms, something about them changed. Maybe it was the brightness of the sun reflecting in them that now made the green hues look similar to the shade of a potion, or rather a poison, the one a person can find in the lab of a mad scientist.
She swayed in the place where she was standing, lifting the heel of her boot off the pavement and then making it click while placing it back onto the concrete tile.
Smiling back at him widely she curled up the corners of her mouth so high, that the dimples in her cheeks decided to show.
“So cute...” Keanu breathed out, the words a mere whisper, but they reached her ears, making her face flush with a shade comparable to the one she had on her nails now. Her palms were all sweaty now, maybe because she was still pressing them tightly together or maybe rather of how fresh and new this situation was.
A drop of sweat left a trail on her back, sliding all the way down from the back of her neck. The turtleneck was a bad idea after all. It was too thick for this partly lovely weather, she had to buy few thinner ones, because she’s gonna boil herself in a minute.
“Sooo...” he started, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down in his throat, like he had a lot to say and really wanted to do it, but was stopping himself from spilling the tea.
She changed her position, standing now diagonally in front of him, shielding his face from the sun with her own figure, having a better look at his posture.
His arms were big, the difference of their size compared to his other body parts actually visible. Looked like he was doing some workout in his free time, the kind that was mostly involving his arms. Boxing maybe?
He was only a tad bit taller than she, but it wasn’t a problem, at least for her. She never fancied any guy that was incredibly tall and had a six pack. Neither she had any specific type, when it comes to men, but Keanu, on the other hand, was something... extraordinary; with the fluffy hair, doe eyes and his gloomy poet look he was an exquisite view.
She had to admit: she fancied him.
Keanu swallowed hard the lump that formed in his throat, intimidated by the intensity of her stare, unable to give his sentence a proper ending. Entangling his fingers in the fluff of his hair he scratched his scalp like the gesture was supposed to help him with coming up with the right words. Playing out a written script in his case was a lot easier than talking to girls.
Especially the ones he liked, because well... he had to admit: he fancied her.
Even though they barely knew one another, except for their names and faces, they both could have swear that there was something in the air, not simple another downpour, no; something that made them gravitate towards each other. The indescribable feeling of being close to somebody and the wanting of getting even closer.
Emelia’s mind was now occupied with him, a pleasant change for once. She felt the urge to hug him, wrap her arms around his neck, squeeze him tightly and smell the fumes of his cologne mixed with the smoke from the cigarettes, but it would be too random and awkward now.
Eyes glued to his face, not leaving it even for a second, noticed how his plump lips were parted, still, red from all of the many times he pressed them tightly together. The words he wanted do say out loud stuck in his throat, like there was anything clever to say in that moment.
They just kept staring deep into each other’s eyes, in silence, disturbed only by the birds chirping above their heads or by the passers by that were speaking on the phone too loudly.
Thoughts wandered off the right tracks and for the first time since the accident she thought about someone in a different way than just simply being his friend.
The fuzzy brown hair of his. What kind of shampoo was he using? And those strong arms. Flushed cheeks, the innocent smile he had on his reddened lips. He’s not the type of guy that breaks your heart, he’s too... soft for that. Yes, soft, the perfect word to describe him.
Soft.
Slowly he flicks his tongue across his lower lip before opening his mouth to speak again.
“Wanna go on a date” his gaze mellow, absolutely not trying to force any answer out of her, “with… me?” Keanu adds quickly, like the question was wrongly stated, not fully giving the hint that the date, in fact, would be with him and not with someone else, “Emelia?” He feels the urge to wave his hand in front of her face, she’s so lost in her thoughts she doesn't notice that he steps closer.
Then, the touch of his hands squeezing her arms gently makes her come back to Earth from the depths of her restless mind.
“Keanu” Emelia blurts out, stunned by his gesture, her heart pounding, face turned pale, hand ever sweatier than before. She actually wanted to take a step back, move away from him, move away from his body that was stuck too close to hers, but the browns of his doe eyes and the tenderness of his gaze stopped her from doing it, “d-date sound great!” Fishing out her phone from the pocket of her jeans she handed it to him, “J-just save me your number” and he did, removing hands from her arms, taking a step backwards, he stopped invading her private space and took the phone from her hand.
Few presses of its buttons later he gave it back to her, another wide smile on his face.
“Just... don’t forget to call me, please” Keanu added the last word, stressing out the fact that indeed he wanted to see her again, not only once, but again and again; he wanted it all to be something else. Not just a random meeting on the London Bridge.
He squeezed her arm saying goodbye without actually saying anything and moved slowly towards the bridge, turning around few times just to look at her again, like he was afraid he’d forget her face, smiling and waving his hand.
She just simply stood there, wiggling her own palm funnily, grinning like a high-schooler that just got asked about going to a prom with her long time crush. 
When he stopped turning around to glance at her again and again, and just kept walking straight ahead, Emelia looked down at her phone, curious to see how he saved his own number. The new contact was simply named as Keanu, but with a smiling emoji right next to it.
A smile.
Sincere gesture worth more than a thousand words.
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cinnaminsvga · 7 years
Text
Opalescence | Jimin
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→ summary: You can’t tell the difference between the color of your eyes to the color of the sky; Jimin sees no difference.
{opalescence (n.) showing varying colors as an opal does}
→ genre: fluff, colorblind!Reader
→ words: 1.2K
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Underneath the dark expanse of the night sky, you have always thought that the world beyond your own was tinged a dark blue.
"That's ridiculous," your companion scoffs, his dark brown hues directed at you with unconcealed incredulity. "It's obviously black. Space is black, and it always will be."
You think of debating with him; after all, you have never seen colors the way everyone else did, so labeling anything as this or that has always been a source of confusion for you.
A lot of people have pitied you for this, you knew. You could never see the world in all its vibrancy: colors, after all, are the essence of the human experience. You would never be able to tell the way your companion's face flushes a pretty pink as you snuggle closer to him, nor the way his rosy red lips are almost begging to be kissed.
You would think that you should feel sorrowful from not being able to experience a sensation that was almost exclusive to the human mind.
But you don't feel sorrowful. Not at all. Not when the warmth emanating from his body made you feel so much joy that no rainbow could ever elicit from your senses; not when his sweet cologne calmed your palpitating heart and reminded you of home.
Home. He was home.
"Jimin, can you tell me something?" You ask, tilting your head to face him from your position on his chest. He cradles your head almost instinctively, allowing him to feel the soft black tresses of your hair.
"Of course. What would you like me tell you?" In all honesty, you could have asked Jimin to give you the world, and he would have gladly handed you the universe instead. No request is too daunting, too insurmountable, as long as he got to witness your pearly whites shining brilliantly in his direction.
"What color are my eyes?"
It was a simple question, which only made his answer the more bitter on his tongue. Ah, Jimin muses, his mind swirling with thoughts—most of which are filled with you, you, you.
He had been too arrogant with his earlier declaration. He realized that he could not give you the universe after all.
What point is there in having the goddamn universe in your hands, when you couldn’t even see the colors that abound within it?
Amidst his silence, you start to wonder not for the first time if Jimin pitied you. It is a simple emotion to succumb to; it is much easier than asking the person how they feel about their own situation. You could pretend as hard as you could that nothing was wrong, that you are as normal as the boy sitting beside you. You could walk, talk, sing, and dance—gifts that others less lucky than you were unable to do.
But none of those talents mattered one bit, not when you couldn't even distinguish the color of your own two eyes.
"Why does it matter?" Jimin questions, his gaze fixed on the two eyes in question. You stare back, wondering if you would have fallen in love with him quicker had you known the hues of his orbs.
In theory, you know that they are brown. When you had asked Taehyung to describe them to you, he jokingly explained that they were like the color of burnt chocolate. To everyone else in the room, the words had made sense almost immediately and they had laughed at his nonsensical analogy.
You hadn't laughed at all.
"It matters because it just does," you answer simply. Jimin snorts at this, chuckling almost amusedly at your eccentricities. Questions like that are common coming from your overexcited brain, but Jimin is more than happy to supply them with answers.
Wracking his brain for a reply, Jimin tries to piece suitable words in his head. Jimin always had a knack for explaining colors to you (unlike Taehyung). He doesn't describe flowers to be yellow like the sun, nor does he say that the houses are painted red like blood. He expresses colors to you with emotions and sensations—things that are tangible in your heart.
For however useless your eyes may be, at least you know that your heart works just fine.
“I suppose your eyes are like that feeling when you wake up on a lazy morning, when the sun is just beginning to peak out.” He tries, but the words were not coming out as smoothly as he had hoped. You nudge his arm in encouragement, urging him to continue. He hesitates for another moment, knowing that if he does not stop now, he might reveal his most intimate thoughts.
He charges on.
“You know what’s so special about those early mornings?” You shake your head in reply. “Those lazy Sunday mornings, they are filled with so much possibility, aren’t they? They almost feel too magical, like they could go on forever. Those mornings always make me feel like I can conquer the world.”
You smile dreamily at his warm description. “My eyes are like that? They make you feel like you can conquer the world?” You tease him playfully, but Jimin does not try to hide the soft smile that crinkles his eyes. It isn’t teasing if it’s true, after all.
“Something like that. Your eyes are like… that feeling of unknown. You never know what’s going to happen, but you let it happen anyway because you know that you’re going to be happy with whatever the outcome may be."
By then, his voice has settled into a whisper. The peaceful scenery added with his soothing tone have made your eyes begin to droop, but Jimin didn’t need to see them to describe them. He could never forget them, not once—not for single day.
Not when they haunt his dreams and bid him to sleep every night.
“Those lazy mornings… They always feel like they last forever, but they never do. I’m always saddest when I find out that the day had gone too quickly, and I had let the day go by without doing anything at all.
“But sometimes, doing nothing is good too. As long as I’m with...” He suddenly halts in his rendition, his most private thoughts catching in his throat. You do not notice, however, for your eyes have already closed. The hours and hours of spending time with Jimin out in this field have finally caught up with you, with only the stars serving as your witnesses.
Jimin brushes away the hair falling over your eyelids, with that warm feeling he had just described surfacing pleasantly in his chest. In truth, Jimin didn’t need lazy mornings to feel happy, nor did he need your eyes to remind him of those cozy memories. Having you beside him is enough. It always is.
...
Just as you are about to nod off for good, you spare enough energy for just one more curiosity.
“Jimin?”
“Yes, Y/N?”
“What color are the stars tonight? What do they make you feel?”
Jimin doesn’t need to look up to reply. He is ready with his answer, because it didn’t matter what color the stars are. Not when—
"These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”
Ever since you graced the universe with your presence, the stars have tried to multiply and equate themselves to match your brilliance. Alas, it is a hopeless cause, for all the stars in the universe could never count the number of ways that Jimin loves you so.
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