#sopheg-the-gay

[vaspider]

Im not for the exclusion of bisexual women from wlw spaces but i do have something to say about the butch femme thing. Im sorry if this sounds exclusionary that’s not my intention. If bisexual women call themselves butch or femme, words now associated with lesbians mainly, then if they get with a dude that guy can go ‘i got with a butch/femme girl’ and people assume lesbian and it could increases negative stereotypes about lesbians ‘just waiting for the right man’ kinda thing unintentionally idk

That’s some really twisted exclusionary, gatekeeping bullshit. Whether or not you think it is, it really is. 

When you distill that down to its essence, what you’re saying is “bisexual women are actively detrimental to lesbians just by existing, because what if they get with a guy?? Their existence as non-gold-star wlw could, by its association with gold-star wlw.” 

That is, at its core of it, what you are actually, factually saying. That is the core of the issue that you have. “Bi women dilute gayness.” The 1990s called and they want their political lesbian talking points used to argue that the ‘B’ shouldn’t be included in Pride Parades back. 

Even if that were not the excessively biphobic core of what you are positing, conforming our behavior to the expectations or biases of The Straights(tm) is not the path forward to queer liberation. Because lemme tell you something:

Straight Dudes(tm) don’t respect lesbians or bi women or bi femmes regardless of how we react, how we present, or whether or not any AFAB has slept with a man, might sleep with a man, is attracted to men, might be attracted to men, has slept with no one, doesn’t want to sleep with anyone. The idea that whether or not bi women use the word ‘butch’ figures into their disrespect is about as far from reality as I am from being able to build a summer home on Pluto. 

The Straights are not going to respect us or change their ideas about how we figure into their fears and spank-bank fantasies no matter how we act or react or how we censure and censor and subdivide. Pushing bisexuals out of the lesbian community -- because bisexuals were part of the lesbian community until the 70s -- did not suddenly make The Straights respect lesbians. TERFs cozying up to the far-right Republicans is not going to make The Straights respect lesbians. The Straights will not respect lesbians even a little bit more if ‘butch’ is only associated with lesbians. The Straights are not going to respect my lesbian daughter one iota more if I stop using the word ‘butch’ and start calling myself a ‘stag’ or a ‘crow’ or whatever other culturally-appropriating, diminutizing, dehumanizing terms people come up with and insist I should use. 

It is not going to matter, and suggesting that it is going to matter very much comes across as concern-trolling. 

This is exactly the same kind of mindset that has transmeds telling me “you can’t be non-binary, you’re keeping The Cis from respecting us!” and I am not here for it. The Cis, The Straights(tm), they are not going to suddenly respect us because we police one another’s usage of terms that they don’t give one single solitary fuck about anyway. They are not going to suddenly say ‘gosh I don’t hear anyone who’s ever admitted to being attracted to a man called “butch” anymore, that’s going to keep me from hitting on this woman because she’s described herself as butch.’

Don’t be fucking ridiculous. The Straights (tm) are not gonna hear that and say ‘oh I was gonna harass that woman but now that I know she’s a Certified Lesbian (tm) I’m gonna leave her alone.’ None of our self-signifiers matter to them at all, and to paraphrase Pray Tell, every generation thinks they’re gonna be the one who are finally gonna get invited to the party. That this is when we go mainstream and are totally accepted by the gracious Straights(tm). 

That shit ain’t gonna happen. The Straights are not gonna finally invite us to the party and accept us. They’re gonna tolerate the compliant ones, to a degree, but that’s it. That is not the way to queer liberation. 

Queer Liberation is not asking nicely and shaving off all the inconvenient parts of ourselves and our community. Queer liberation is not permitting the next generation to sweep under the rug the history of political lesbians (those who would become TERFs) driving bisexual women out and forcing the creation of a bisexual community. Queer liberation is not allowing this historical revisionism of  painting a picture of a rosy past in which bisexual women, femmes and AFABs had a joyous co-existence with a separate set of community pasts, rather than a shared and interwoven community history.

I am absolutely not going to let you lay the disrespect that The Straights(tm) have for lesbians, bisexual women, and wlw at the feet of bisexuals, not in any way, shape or form. And I am not going to give up my identity based on the historical revisionism that says this isn’t my history and these aren’t my words.

Butch is my gender identity. I don’t give a fuck if the Straights respect it, because they never ever will. I’m not interested in them respecting a version of my self that is sanitized for their comfort, because that’s what you’re asking for. 

I will fight for liberation, in which I can exist as my authentic self and you can exist as yours, and we are given the space to live as our selves by The Straights(tm). I will not, ever, accept respectability politics as an acceptable way to frame our community.

tl;dr: that’s gross and biphobic as it blames bisexuals for the difficulties of all wlw for the idea that they might date men, don’t ever say it again.

#this bullshit again #butch and femme are not lesbian exclusive terms #butch and femme #community history #victim blaming #queerphobia #biphobia #homophobia #sopheg-the-gay

[abcsofadhd]

I think my ADHD has kinda caused me to become a chronic liar when it comes to ‘have you done this?’

YEP. Same. I only realized how bad I was about it too very recently… 

and I only started making changes to it after I hurt my sister and she stopped talked to me for a month… and I realized how much I was hurting people who care for me by subconsciously lying.

Its as you said.. when someone asks if I did x or why I didn’t do y, its easier to lie than tell them you forgot for the 100th time and have them get frustrated at you.

I’m getting past it slowly. I try to not to subconsciously lie and when I do, I immediately come clean.

#sopheg-the-gay #adhd #actually adhd #abcsofadhd #adhd tag #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #lying #lie

[ask-abcsofadhd]

how can i explain sensory overload to someone who doesnt understand it?

I found this good article with a bunch of examples, eg,

“It’s like when your computer freezes because there are too many tasks open or a task is stuck. And your brain hits ‘Ctrl-Alt-Del’ automatically. In my case, this means sudden fatigue, balance problems, speaking problems, disorientation.”

“It’s like being underwater at the beach while the waves wash away your thoughts. You’re struggling to catch a breath, but every time you are able to reach the surface, you are struck by another wave and you can’t organize a coherent thought. You can’t get on top of it and you start to panic.”

#sopheg-the-gay #abcsofadhd #adhd tag #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #sensory overload #adhd #actually adhd

[yourfavehatesautismspeaks]

Gwenpool (Gwen Poole) from Marvel hates Autism Speaks!

Requested by @sopheg-the-gay!

#gwenpool #gwen poole #marvel #marvel 616 #autism speaks #your fave #yourfave #yourfavehatesautismspeaks #sopheg-the-gay #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #eye strain #mod rowlf

[demidorks]

I got through pjo and hoo in a under a year since i never read them when I was little and im living cos ive started toa now and like bro... BRO

SDHSFHNFDHDFJDFJ 

WELCOME TO THE FAMILIA

#Inbox #sopheg-the-gay #AY MY DEAR AY MY DEAR ♥

[badlydrawnbmc]

richard. RICH......... (kermit)..............(kermit the frog)

I didn’t understand the ask but please accept this

#rich goranski #bmc #mod Pepsi Clear #sopheg-the-gay #bdbmcpost

[asklifeisweird]

What does your shirt say?

M:  Christine got me into it; it’s actually pretty good?  It’s called, uh, Be Less Strange.

M:  The character, Max, wears this shirt when she has this solo in a bathroom.  Big mood, lemme tell you.

#be more chill #life is strange #bmc #michael mell #bmc au #ic #drawn response #sopheg-the-gay #[[ i actually shouldve answered this ages ago but! oh well! ]] #[[ its answered now and thats all that matters ]] #[[ esp when i redrew this like 5 times with 2 different tablets ]] #[[ :'3c ]]

[kitchikishangout]

omg i cant believe you're still an active account, moon moon.

I’m just hanging on....just.... ;D 

#sopheg-the-gay

[barley-and-rye]

MADE MY NAME BARLEY-AND-RYE BUT MIGHT CHANGE IT BACK TO SOPHEG-THE-GAY PEOPLE PLEASE TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS

#sopheg-the-gay #barley-and-rye

[kirigaya-art]

should i read Carry On?

I didn't know you hadn't!!

I absolutely reccomend it. It's an incredible book for tons of reasons which I won't spoil (although you probably know already from my posts) and is overall just plain entertaining. The characters are phenomenal and well-rounded and the plot is great even when it's not centered on romance. It's my favorite book! Definitely read it if you have the chance.

#askies #sopheg-the-gay

[bmcheadcanons]

Rich’s brother only stayed around to protect his brother from their dad. Literally only Rich was keeping him in Middleborough. When Rich took his squip he started acting terrible to his brother and starting fights with their dad which rich’s brother would ultimately take the punishment for, eventually this forced him to leave because his entire family was shit. It’s Rich’s fault his brother left and that adds to his self hatred post-squip

#sopheg-the-gay #richard goranski #bmc headcanon #queue

[vaspider]

Ok you know what? Cast away everything i just said, read the thing, im not participating in TERF bullcrap. Sorry for sending those.

I’m glad you sat down and read. I stand by what I said about laying the blame for The Straights at the feet of bi people, TERF issues alone. 

We all good.

#sopheg-the-gay

[abcsofadhd]

ok so adhd study advice which is helping me kinda lol. It's really nothing just like... instead of long pages full of notes, flashcards are so much better. Firstly, makes me feel like im getting more done cos they fill up faster so i keep the motivation, and second, when you're going over them it's so much easier to look at this tiny card with info and some questions over a long ass page of squiggly lines. Obviously, if notes work for people they work but flashcards keep my attention better

#sopheg-the-gay

[ask-abcsofadhd]

So i know stimming is self stimulation and our brains need that but WHY. Like, why do our brains need stimming and why does it make me feel happy lol

From ADDitude:

Experts believe that engaging in an activity that uses a sense other than what’s required for your primary task — listening to music while reading a social studies textbook, for example — can enhance focus and improve performance in children with attention deficit disorder. These secondary tasks are called fidgets — mindless activities you can do while working on a primary task.

Basically, you are keeping your distractable aspect of your brain occupied allowing you to focus easier. There is also a soothing element to too.

-Danny

#sopheg-the-gay #adhd #actually adhd #stimming #fidgeting

[trendercore-flags]

Genderqueer?

done here and also here!

#mod ace #not a flag #asks #sopheg-the-gay

[enthusiasticmusicalquotes]

Could you do Yurii's Decision from Doctor Zhivago? It's such an underrated musical :')

Anonymous said: sorry! could you do Just True from Yank! The Musical

sopheg-the-gay said: the woah song, lizard boy. (im definetly just asking you to do this so you have to listen to it and that means one more fan for this underappreciated musical) 

Anonymous said: When you get the chance, could you please do something from Haus of Holbein from Six the Musical?

Anonymous said: Oh myyyy please do Haus of Holbein - SiX

Anonymous said: goodbye from ‘catch me if you can’ ?

added. thanks for your patience

send me a song request here or submit a quote here

#asks #heinrich1772 #sopheg-the-gay #anonymous