#sorry for pitch change they wouldnt let me upload without it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crowsent · 3 years

Text

tales from the smp: the village that went mad ft. salt losing his goddamn mind

“im jack. and. im a farm person, and i like p o t a t o e s”

starting the stream well i see. ponk coming in with generic potato boy and i love him for it

QUACKITY

“my name is helga, wife of badboyhalo” QUACKITY

karl: “bad, explain your character other than person that beats up their wife”

bad, immediately: “well, i do declare that my name is jimmy and im the mayor of this town”

and then bbh just fucking starts spinning around when hes asked what the name of this town is, theres a pause, and then he fucking hits us with “not a very good town, town” like BAD

this is why i love this man

this is why i fux with this man

he is unparalleled

but as much as i love bbh and would literally murder god for him, he still canNOT match the quiet theatricality of mr corpsehusband saying “im gonna turn around and itll all make sense” and then he has a fucking CAT TAIL

corpse “choke me like you hate me” husband is a fucking CATBOY ladies and gentlemen

hes a fucking catboy which further proves something which we already knew was true all along: furries exist in minecraft and are, in fact, accepted in society and treated no less differently than humans

this is why fundy and antfrost can just walk around without anyone telling them shit

this is why wilbur can fuck a salmon

corpse “catboi” husband paved the fucking road and drove down in a custom vintage jaguar so every other furry on the smp could fucking drive behind him in a second hand porsche

i salute you mr corpsehusband

truly amazing

miles memeington, connoisseur of steak and bob, “bob the builder” need no explanation

CORNELIUS COMING IN WITH THE BRIGHTASS NEON GREEN BODYSUIT EVERYBODY

GIVE IT UP FOR CORNELIUS

BEST RPER ON THE ENTIRE SMP

CORNELIUS GREENBODYSUIT EVERYONE

tubbo with the very cute ‘i am robin, i am an orphan child” being IMMEDIATELY ruined by karl sayin

“dont let technoblade hear about that”

i love this already

feed me technoblade lore. the man never fucking uploads so i have to get content adjacent to him

i wanna hear about technoblade the orphan killer. i want that backstory lore

and also i wanna protect robin the orphan boy because hello???????????

that skin???????

let me adopt you mr orphan boy

i love quackity just very casually going “my husband and i had intercourse” at the fucking TOWN MEETING BY THE WELL

truly

quackity’s comedy is unmatched

“hes into lots of weird stuff. he taught me this one thing called dunderhead”

and IMMEDIATELY someone (cant tell who, i have auditory processin issues) fucking goes “i DO NOT know this woman” and tbh if i were in that fucking town hall listening to my fucking weirdass neighbour casually lay out all her family secrets, id fucking say that shit too. id fucking disown this bitch as my neighbour. id fucking pretend she doesnt exist

imagine your fucking next door neighbour siddling up to you in the fucking w*lmart while youre just minding your own goddamn business trying to buy a fucking banana and your next door neighbour helga is dressed in a fucking bikini going “my husband fucked me so hard i couldnt walk” and even though you are clearly not interested and trying desperately to get away from her and her wackass gossip, helga goes ahead and fucking LISTS OUT HER HUSBANDS KINKS IN THE FUCKING FRUIT AISLE AT FULL VOLUME

id die

id just fucking die

id uninstall life right then and there

id pack my fucking bags and take a fucking extended vacation to guatemala and never return. id fucking change my goddamn name just to ensure that people never associate me with this woman.

thats what quackity is doing and i am very thankful this man exists and has given us the treasure that is helga

cOuLd iT Be iN ThE nAMe oF SaTaN???????? 🤔

karl

bruh

bustin out the fucking OLD conspiracies huh

“or could it be in the name of content on karls stream”

and hes just casually breaking the 4th wall too huh

kinda stealing techno “ill read donations in the middle of rp bc i need a distraction” blade’s go-to method there huh

its fucking funny tho. hes narrating this all serious-like but then he just goes “content on my stream uwu” and unrepentantly shatters that suspension of disbelief (in a good way)

but it wouldnt even matter bc apparently, satan and karls content have no difference

does protection exist in the smp? im worried for helgas health

the woman visited 3 different fucking houses in one night

i love how the rp just stops dead in its tracks around the campfire

no one was using any of the names

corpse was out here calling everyone by their actual names and not the names of their characters

this might just be bc im a pathological liar whos seen and heard shit but

i love him but

i mean

bbh cant lie

the man cannot lie

his voice is off, pitch wrong, tone sus

he is deffo a murderer

being accused of something hes not would make a person defensive/angry and bbh is not either

the man is LYING

and his argument/defense was LITERALLY tubbos

man cant lie

send this murderer to hell

tubbo can lie, but imo hes not. his voice is the voice of a person whos telling the truth

man is legit the doctor

a doctor who chose to fucking lay on the LORE

father killed in the red-eyed village wars????? mother taken from a young age?

motherfucker brought the LORE

motherfucker brought the SOB STORY

motherfucker legit said “here is my canonical in-character reason for being a doctor fuck you”

and honestly

what is bads defense?

karl asked if the town should kill an orphan over a mayor and there is legit no right answer to that

there is no good rebuttal

so bad straight went “you make a great point. just execute me”

amazing

10/10

idk who said it but “orphans just suck up resources” whoever you are i love you

i was eating my chips in peace but then i almost choked

thank

I FUCKING KNEW TUBBO WASNT THE MURDERER

his voice did not match

my bets on fucking ponk

its fucking DREAM

DREAM MURDERER

my respect for this man

motherfucker

shouldve known

he was kinda quiet at first but then he suddenly started talking a lot

son of a BITCH

gg dream

round 1 wasnt very rp heavy but

i can excuse that

who in the FUCK is making choking donald duck noises

who

bbh got a new skin cool

WHO IS MAKING THE CHOKING DONALD DUCK NOISES

corpse, about dreams death: “they killed him in front of me”

the town: “who was it corpse?”

ladies and gentlemen corpse, without a moments hesitation: “im also blind”

so the murderer is deffo not corpse. deffo not tubbo. probably not lazarbeam probably not bbh

that leaves quackity, george, and ponk

MY PARTNER WAS KILLED

i knew corpse was a catboi but i didnt know that mr dream “i went on a date and almost married a fox” wastaken partnered with a fucking catboy

what is this

dnf is out, dream corpse is in /j

bruh

MY PARTNER WAS KILLED

bro

the tragedy

CALM DOWN WENCH THE BOY DID NOTHIGN

CORPSE

STOP

CORPSE

standing up for tubbo like that

corpse

please

my heart cannot handle this

okay so its deffo not corpse and tubbo. most likely not quackity after that fucking disaster at the campfire. probably not lazarbeam or bbh. still think its george and ponk

CORPSE

he got executed trying to console tubbo who legit WENT IN THE PRISON TRYING TO LOOK FOR HIM

BRUH

WHAT THE FUCK

TUBBO

technically its robin but

TUBBO

he lost his father so quick what the FUCK

i will murder god for robin

the little shaking head he does after corpse got killed. going completely silent as he lost the one family he had left.

bruh

robin bby no

I KNEW HE WASNT THE MURDERER

tubbo

im sorry

I KNEW IT WAS PONK

was wrong about lazarbeam/george tho

bruh

what the fuck

tubbo/robin honey i am so so sorry

catboi corpse i am so so sorry

#tales from the smp #dsmp #salt liveblogs

99 notes · View notes

americaswritings · 6 years

Text

Cinderella |Part 5

Prompt: Fairy tale AU

Summary: When your father marries another woman, she brings not only two evil stepsisters into the house, but turns you into a maid. Working hard day for day your only hope is the princes ball, where he will pick is future wife. But will you be able to flee from the claws of your family?

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: sexual harassment (short), me sucking at writing first meetings

Pairing: Steve x reader

A/N: This is for @ruckystarnes‘ writing challenge.

Sorry, this took so long. My life is a little stressful atm, but I will upload as soon as possible.

Also Bucky is in this one!!

Tags are open! Only through asks! Please consider leaving me feedback :)

You made your way over to the dance floor and stopped when you reached it. It looked like so much fun to dance, but nobody had asked you yet and you couldn’t dance on your own. So you spend the time admiring the dancers from your spot.

Only a few minutes later, a young man had appeared on your side. He held out his arm without any word and you took it without any hesitation.

You felt as if you were flying The music and the group of other dancers made you feel comfortable while your dance partner twirled you around.

He had light brown shoulder long hair, which was tugged behind his ears and irritating blue eyes, which made his appearance even more unique. You realized that you didn’t know his name and it was impossible to ask now, since you were breathless and occupied not to trip.

The song ended and the partners were traded. A dark haired man stood before you, his hair messy and his green eyes puffy. You could smell the alcohol from his breath and immediately got uncomfortable.

The dance started and he grabbed your hip, only he squeezed it a little too tight. “Nice party huh?”, he asked and the wave of alcohol hit your face. You turned your face away in disgust and only nodded as a response.

“You are a really pretty thing actually”, he observed and studied you closer. You tried to put distance between his body and yours, but it didn’t work. His grip was too firm.

You gazed up to see that he was still examining your body, staring at places you weren’t comfortable with. Your breath quickened and you pushed against his chest, but he only laughed at your attempt to turn him down. “Pretty feisty as well, huh?”

Before you could react to it, the hands were removed from your hips and you found yourself in the arms of another man. You heared the dark haired man protest, but a sharp look from your new dance partner made him still and he left.

“I am sorry about that”, the man apologized with a sad smile and put some space between your bodies. He had baby blue eyes and blonde hair, which shimmered golden in the dimmed light. He wore a white suit, which was decorated with buttons and insignias.

It took you a moment to recognize him, but then you gasped in surprise. You had only seen the prince once, when he had still been a child himself. Your mother had taken you to the market that day and you had seen the king and his son. He had taught the young prince about different kind of prices, who hadn’t looked interested at all.

“Oh, I am sorry, my prince”, you responded and bowed your head for a second. “There is no need to be formal”, he told you with a smile and you blushed. You were beyond grateful that he had saved you from the other man, but didn’t know how to express your appreciation.

After that it was silent. You danced for the rest of the song and the song after that and the one after that one. None of you made a move to change partners and so you danced with the prince for a long time. Although none of you said a word you told each other so many things, as if you communicated through your moves.

Your bodies were in perfect synth and you even forgot about your shoes and the heavy dress. You felt light and if the prince hadn’t held you in his arms you felt like you would have flown off.

When the song ended the prince pulled you a little closer. “You are an amazing dance partner”, he confessed and you felt your cheeks getting red. “Thank you. You aren’t that bad either”, you noted and he laughed.

“That is because I had to take dancing lessons my whole life”, he admitted and you blushed again. “Oh.” He smiled at you.

“Excuse me”, a high pitched voice pulled you out of your gaze. You felt like you had woken up from a dream, a beautiful dream and had to go back to the dull reality.

“There are other people who want to dance with the prince as well”, the woman with raven hair and narrowed eyes acknowleged in an accusing voice. She was wearing a red dress, that showed more skin than it covered.

“Oh my god, I am sorry”, you blushed and stepped back. Maybe you had overstepped your boundary without realizing it.

The prince seemed to be uncomfortable himself. He gazed to the ground, not knowing what to say.

You rushed off without a word and made your way out of the crowd. You needed to get some air.

You spotted a backdoor and sneaked outside.

The night was cold, but provided fresh air, which filled your lungs promptly. You walked away from the castle, embarassed at what had just happened. How did you mess up everything good that happened to you?

You realized that you were in the gardens. You didn’t know if you were allowed to be here, but a stubborn part of you thought that it wouldn’t matter if they arrested you. Maybe going to prison was even better when going back to your stepmother and stepsisters.

You found a bench and sat down. From the castle you heared the clock hitting 11 beats. You had an hour left until you had to return home, still you felt like the evening had just started.

All of this- the dress, the shoes, the make-up- the betrayal of your family- for what exactly? A moment of dancing? Was it even worth it?

You sat there in silence and tried to get a clear head. You didn’t know how much time had passed by, but suddenly you heared a branch cracking.

“Can I sit here?”, a voice pulled you out of your thoughts. The prince was standing in front of you, fiddling with his sleeves. You nodded and made space for him.

“I am sorry for what happened”, he apologized after he had sat down. “Oh, there is no reason to apologize”, you assured him, realizing it was the second time he had apologized to you this evening.

“I think there is”, he confessed, peeking at your face. “I put you in an uncomfortable situation and I am sorry for that.”

You still saw no reason for him to feel guilty, but let it go with a smile. “How did you find me here?”, you wondered and turned to get a better look on his face.

“I saw you slip out of the hall”, he explained with a chuckle. “Aren’t you cold?”, he questioned and you shook your head.

“Maybe a little”, you admitted shyly.

The next thing happened so quickly that you had no time to protest. The prince took off his jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders. “Thank you.”You felt your cheeks getting red and tried to cover it up with a little cough.

“No need to thank me”, he grinned. “I am Steve by the way.” He held out his hand, but you hesitated to shake it. “I am not sure if it is appropriate if I called you that”, you pointed out.

“Nobody would know. Besides- I don’t care”, he responded with a grin and you nodded. “I am (y/n)”

You spend the rest of the night with Steve in the gardens. You wondered if nobody would question his absence, but he told you that the most people were probably to drunk to realize he was missing.

He told you a lot about his life and himself and you felt like it made him feel better. There seemed to be a weight on his shoulders that he carried around his whole life and talking to somebody else made it better.

You wished that you could do the same, tell him everything about your life, but that wasn’t possible. You couldn’t betray your family like that nor could you trust the prince enough to reveal this secret.

You liked him, you really did; he seemed to be selfless and kind and caring, but once you would admit your secret you wouldn’t be able to take it back. There was a reason they treated you like this, and you figured once the prince would know, he wouldn’t look at you the same again.

How could he, when he would learn that you were a maid with no friends and no loved ones. If nobody loves you, something is really wrong if you. Maybe you don’t deserve love. Maybe you are worthless.

Your stepmother had taught you that a long time ago and you couldn’t bare the prince looking at you in pity or disgust.

So every time Steve asked you something about yourself, you blocked. Instead you told him something else, mostly stories from your childhood when your mother had still been alive. When everything had been perfect.

“She seemes like a great woman”, he gently smiled at you. “I hope I will be able to meet her some day.” Your heart squeezed in pain at his words and you blinked away the tears. “I am sure she would love you”, you responded with a fake smile, but Steve had furrowed his brows.

But before he could say anything the clock began to hit 12. Panicking you looked around. “Is everything alright?”, Steve asked worried. You nodded, but shook your head at the same time. “I have to go”, you stuttered and got up from the bench.

“Thank you for the jacket.” You pressed it to his chest and turned around. “And thank your for the nice evening”, you yelled over your shoulder while running away as fast as possible.

“Wait, (y/n)”, you heared his baffled voice in the distance, but you couldn’t turn around. Fortunaley he wasn’t following you, so you only concentrated on making it home as quickly as possible.

You saw the first carriages taking people home and sped even more.

If your family would be home before you were, they would kill you.

Tags: Permanent Tags: @capkilljoy @not-reptilian @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @justanotherfangirl272 @theshortegg Marvel Tags: @iamwarrenspeace Steve Tags: @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory Cinderella Tags: @farfromjustordinary @wildestdreamsrps @sydthekid1518 @100kindsofblake @fantastic-fantasy-fanfics @its-forevermore @lobathenerd

Tags are open! Only through asks! Please leave feeback :)

108 notes · View notes