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riacte · 5 months

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Space Opera AU dashboard simulator 2 (but there's plot if you squint) (probably worse than its predecessor)

🚀 renthepilot

HAPPY BITRHDAY TO ME!! I TURN 7!!! :D :D :D <3 <3 <3 RD

❤️ falsewell

Happy 7th birthday Ren! :)

🚀 renthepilot

Thank u FalsE!!!!!! :DDDDDD >.< RD

🍵 cinnamontea Follow

... Why is my 17yo ET1blr mutual talking to a 7yo on Sunblr. I came here for analysis posts but apparently she's babysitting her cousin or perhaps a strangely intelligent dog??

❤️ falsewell

I mean, I would be worried if a 7yo was piloting the glider I race in 🤨

🍵 cinnamontea Follow

WDYM THAT GUY IS YOUR RACE PARTNER? OMFG I AM SO SORRY

🍀 et1vision Follow

Chat do you remember when we found RK and QoH's Sunblr accounts from when they weren't famous and were just two kids in illegal races. Because it was hysterical. Hands up if you thought falsewell was someone's canon url and not QoH herself.

🪓 handoftheking

That interaction was pretty cute to be honest. Ren's still 7 the last I checked.

🪸 hoes4redking Follow

[deep sigh] littlewood at the scene of the crime as always

#WHYYYYYYY is he chronically online #he needs to be stopped and locked up #i bet he scrolls through the treebark tag every day #he knows Too Much #do you think he brings up sunblr during dinner #and etho and bigb look at him like hes insane

7,207 notes

🔥 yaoihell Follow

save me queen of hearts

🔥 yaoihell Follow

queen of hearts

🔥 yaoihell Follow

queen of hearts save me

🏐 apollos-dodgeball 🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀 Follow

Congratulations on the prophecy!

[Beep boop, this is a gimmick blog!]

🔥 yaoihell Follow

what the actual fuck.

🌼 fast-and-bifurious Follow

i think i hauve the plague

47,981 notes

🫐 toxicblueberry Follow

hi babes the demons in my head won so new fic!!

i'm your biggest fan, i'll follow you until you love me, pa-pa paparazzi

pairing: the red king x blue stalker (they/them) (exterra 1 rpf)

summary: why are you as a bounty hunter so intent on hunting ren down? what do you want to do with him? pin him against a wall and kiss him until he's breathless and melting like putty in your hands?

word count: 10.1k

tags: enemies to lovers, angst, hurt no comfort, whump, ust, no actual smut, making out, blood, slight knifeplay, submissive rk, open ending

Keep reading

🏹 queenofheartsfanclub Follow

Listen, I don't do RPF, I can handle Treebark (because I have eyes), but this is crossing a line. Especially after the accusations by RK. I think his evidence is pretty compelling.

🫐 toxicblueberry Follow

dead dove do not eat. i am aware this is a fucked up dynamic but it's fictional. it's not like the real blue stalker has a toxic codependent attraction to the guy they're assigned to kill (btw i mained qoh so i completely understand where you're coming from)

🫐 toxicblueberry Follow

oh.

🏹 queenofheartsfanclub Follow

hey

so do you wanna kiss before the haters get to you?

🫐 toxicblueberry Follow

of course. can we get married

#love can be found on the battlefield in more ways than one #fave post #annoying treebark fans fuck off!!!!!!

1109 notes

🌹 fyeahroseduo Follow

Coming out as a falsedog shipper is harder than coming out as gay

🦇 starshipspachelbel Follow

TEN YEARS????

Time is not real

🌃 nightpatrols Follow

I had vivid flashbacks. I feel faint. This post caused so much drama omfg. I need a treebark equivalent on my desk by 8am sharp next morning

🪓 handoftheking

Coming out as a Treebark shipper is harder than coming out as bi

🌃 nightpatrols Follow

WHAT THE FUFHUBFBFUOUOFFUCK

#HES IN OUR WALLS #HE STARTED THE SHIP #this is gonna sweep the next unhinged moment poll #??!?1!?!???!?!?! #HATE THIS LUMIAN GLOWY ASS #btw for non et1 mutuals: this man is literally bi #yeah hes really gay for his pilot. yeah we all know #theyre always holding hands and shit #edit: DID HE REBLOG THIS AT 7:30AM #IDK HOW PLANETZONES CONVERSATION WORKS #*conversion #listen i failed school 2 years in a row ok 😭

19,626 notes

🎵 daily-music Follow

Music video of the day is: R8cer Boi by Avril Lavigne!

🎵 daily-music Follow

who the fuck is renn dog

🎵 daily-music Follow

who has little wood

🎵 daily-music Follow

why are y'alls twink racers larping as royals from medieval era planet earth

🎵 daily-music Follow

sorry for calling the queen of hearts a twink. im sorry women

#im so done with yalls bullshit #who are these people #why do they show up in my tags

898 notes

#space opera au #i feel delirious. i think i hauve a stomachache #dashboard simulator #treebark #trafficshipping #hermitshipping #long post #unreality

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heybabybird · 4 years

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Shit I think My Roommate’s a Crime Lord #4(end)

(part 1)(part 2)(part 3)(part 4)(ao3)

Week ?(Saturday + Sunday(again))

---

Saturday

When Tim woke up Jason was gone. He checked the board, noting the red post-it note on his roommate’s side today. Though written haisty, it told him Jason was feeling better and had to tend to some ‘family emergrncy’ Tim knew was an excuse for bat business. Jason avoided his family if he could

His phone had been going off all morning with discussion of the latest Arkham break out- the first one since he’d moved back to Gotham-, Tim can only assumed it was an all hands on deck situation. A quick check on a news site and social media confirms his suspicion. Batman and Robin were spotted earlier that day and there were even blurry pictures speculate to be Nightwing, Batgirl or Black Bat. Even Red Hood and Star City’s Arsenal were trending on twitter!

The more logical part of his brain concludes that he should stay home until the whole shitshow is over but Tim’s inner fanboy was screaming. He had spent a majority of his childhood trailing Batman and Robin all over the rooftops of Gotham, camera clutched tightly in his tiny hands. His fingers itches to capture Gotham’s vigilante in action; it had been too long.

For the most part of the day Tim was having the time of his life, having captured a great picture of Batgirl tag teaming with Nightwing to take down Killer Croc. It soon became apparent local gangs were taking advantage of the fiasco to transport a large shipment of illegal firearms. Tim shadowed the two large men until they came to a warehouse, listening in to their conversation. The ferry was scheduled to leave at dawn tomorrow, disguised as an international courier serice. He qickly snapped a few photos with his phone and forward it to the GCPD as an anonymous tip.

Heavy footprints appraoch where he was hiding. Without a secon’d thought, Tim ducked inside a shipping container, crouched between two crates to be hidden from view. His breathing shallow, too afraid to make any small amount of noise that’d draw attention. The men outside were shuffling about, loading more crates into the container. His blood ran cold when the door slammed shut. Shit.

Tim knew how to keep a secret. Of course he do, he kept Batman’s secret for a whole decade afterall. He’s also really good at playing oblivious to the elephant in the room but god, sometimes Jason comes up with the worst excuses ever. He rejoiced over the fact he still have bars and thought over the possible outcome if he were to text his roommate for help, unquestionably it means letting the cat out of the bag. Maybe Batman would let him off easy and erase his memories with those memory erasing stick thingy, or have him sign an NDA.

Tim only hope the GCPD took his tip and bust the scene, then he’d bang the door for help... Or not.

After contemplating for what felt like an hour, Tim decides he really really doesn’t want to risk getting shipped off and die in the middle of the alantic ocean from malnourishment. He opened a message app, suddenly realized that Jason might not be checking his usual phone at all, but sent a quick SOS just in case.

Now all he have to do is... wait.

Sunday(again)

“Don’t worry, Fluttershy, I’ll get you outta there.”

“Mr. Hood, uh, I’m really sorry about this. Actually, you can probably just leave me here I’m sure the GCPD will get me out sooner or later-”

“Tim, shut the fuck up- Stand back.”

“Okay. Shutting up now.”

“This is two Sundays in a row I had to bust your ass out of trouble, Babybird,” Red Hood mused, sucessfully opening the crate Tim was trapped in, “you should probably stay in on weekends.”

“I- wait, what?” Tim squints at the sudden glare of sunlight.

“Alright! Out of the birdcage, let’s get you home.”

Tim recalled the first time he met Jason Todd, officially; he’d been running on two hours of sleep and double that amount of coffee when the taller man knocked on their door and introduced himself as the new roomie. Tim was starstruck because that’s Robin. His Robin! While he had a fair amount of photos of Dick’s Robin in action, Tim have many, so much many more candid photos of Jason’s Robin tripping or nearly swinging into things.They were safely stashed away in a secret compartment in his childhood bedroom, to this day still collecting dust until someone uncovers them again.

When Jason died little Tim was devastated, it was also around the time his parents decided to ship him off to boarding school. By the time he returned there seems to be an influx of Bat-clan vigilante, too many to keep track of.

And somehow Jason was alive again to the public.

Tim wasn’t sure if he was even awake and not, you know- dreaming, and blurted out: “I’m your biggest fan,” the moment words were working again. Jason looked at him oodly, eyebrow crooked in a questioning manner.

“Thanks? What’d I do?”

Shit.

“Shit. Sorry. Jason Todd, right? I follow your twitter,” Tim offered a small grin, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, “that charity foundation you were working on, I mean- I find that really inspiring. I’m Tim.”

“Oh. Hey, thanks. Nice to meetcha, Tim.”

That was... a nearly year ago.

Now he felt that same brand of embarrassment standing in a shipping container at the crack of dawn, surrounded by crates and crates of ammunition while his vigilante roommate had just taken down an entire gang to save his ass.

The Red Hood strongly insist on accompanying Tim home, something he was extremly thankful for and they quickly hightailed out of there before the police arrived. It’s been quiet when they rode back on Hood’s bike, an unspoken agreement that neither wants to talk about this.

Granted, he didn’t realized his legs were jello until later on. In front of student lodging Tim lunged for a hug, to which Hood’s body froze, hands clutched tightly onto the leather material of his jacket; the sharp scent of motor oil and gunpowder were oddly comforting.

“Thanks.”

#jason todd #tim drake #jaytim #ish #drabbles #roommate au #friendly reminder you can read it as romance or bromance whatever floats ur boars #boats*#i'm done with this au whew fresh out of ideas!!!!#thank u for following this mini series ;w;<3

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babyitsmytime · 4 years

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TXT reacting to falling in love with you

A/N: eyy! I know I know I've been away again for too long, I apologize my schedule always tend to get very wonky since its almost summer vacation!! Please understand and continue to support me by reblogging my works and liking my posts!! They mean a lot to me 🥺 and you're free to ask questions about what's gonna happen in the future updates, and free to spam my mailbox, I swear I'll be happy just seeing your messages. All off your reblogging and likes give me happiness and thank you for that 🥺🥺❤️❤️ I <3 u all

Genres: Romance and Fluff

Yeonjun

"Hello? Earth to you sir?" you said waving your hand at the male in front of you as you put down the meal that he ordered and he just blankly stared at you with a sigh you set down his beverage as well before excusing yourself.

Okay but first of all, he knew how rude it is to stare at someone but like you were so pretty?? How do you expect him to NOT freeze? The blue haired male's cheeks then flushed realizing how he screwed up big time on first impressions with a heavy sigh he ate and would poke his meat every so often since he didn't seize the chance to talk to the pretty waitress of his favourite resto. Now the food was good, Fantastic even. But let's say that you were the main reason why he visited more frequently of course there were days when he couldn't since he's too preoccupied with chasing his dreams and nailing his comebacks. But every time he's done, he would always come back just so he could see your pretty, radiant face. When there were times that you weren't there. Specifically since you were either busy with studies or you caught a cold. He would always sulk by the cushions then would ask the other servers for your name, which they reply politely. Your name was Y/N. Y/N, he kept repeating that name to his head repeatedly

Y/N, Y/N, Y/N.

"Yes sir?" you quipped before rushing to him startled that he called you three times in a row, and the male was more startled since he realized he said your name too loud. Slightly panicking that you were here he looked around trying to figure something up until he saw the plated were empty "Ah! Yes h-here's the payment!" he said his cheeks flushing and you counted the cash and was surprised at the huge amount. Jesus, he's hella rich.

"Uhh, sir this is too much.." you said and he chuckled nervously before scratching his neck "Th-that's an extra tip. For you." he said stuttering before he couldn't take it anymore and bolted out the door

"Wait!" you yelled trying to catch up to him but he was too fast, you looked at the cash before putting it in your pocket. Your cheeks felt like burning when he talked. The guy looked so cute, too bad she didn't know his name.

But maybe next time she'll ask, he'll come back again probably.

Soobin

He met you at the dressing room. You were the new makeup artist for TXT and today was your first day doing their makeup for their upcoming comeback, you noticed as you were preparing your makeup tools that a certain someone was just waving at you every so often, while the members were busy chatting on plans and strategies to further enhance their performance, soobin thought it was a great idea to just wave at you and smile cutely and there were times that you waved back and his smile grew wider. And by this point , the members can see his intentions.

"Yah Soobinie! Don't bother noona too much~" he teased and soobin was caught off guard and his cheeks flush which made the members tease him further for being such a simpleton.

"I don't really mind though. He's cute." you spoke and soobin was now lOvEStRuCk by your words like?? Those words should be illegal to hear at ALL. Beomgyu squealed in delight like a kid while Huening was just running around the room making noise. And soobin was laughing awkwardly, with that windshield wiper laugh that he got from jin, typical.

"Then. Is it okay if I asked you out right here and now?" he asked coyly and now it's your turn to be teased and to have your cheeks flush.

Oh damn, he really likes playing this game.

Beomgyu

He met you by a dating app and today was your first date with Choi Beomgyu. Yes THE Choi Beomgyu from one of your favourite Kpop groups, Tomorrow by Together. You were so surprised when he revealed to you that he was an idol and formally introduced himself to you and not his username as "Pink Bamgyu", I know it sounds stupid. But among the three months that you met you've come to realize how devoted he is to music and you liked that about him, and you felt a spark form between you and him. And you're sure he felt it too since his responses turn more colorful and more expressive and more like who he really is. And how he talks about flying to many countries with you and then buying you as many flowers and jewelries and chocolates as he could just for you. Until he said that you both should meet up.

"Y/N?" a guy asked and you turned your head to see him, holding a bouquet of assorted flowers of different colors and you felt your cheeks flushing and you can see a fiant tint of pink form at his cheeks before he held your hand gently to your table.

And you knew this was the start of something new.

Taehyun

He spied on you everytime your nose was buried in a new book and he admired how your eyes scan the pages and collect the stories of each character in your head. Even if he was a busy idol with many deadlines he still made time to visit his favourite bookstore every once a while and it just so happened that he met your pretty face by a corner and he couldn't help but observe you further like an organism reacting to a variable to show results for his research papers back in his younger years. he noted how your face brightens up when you read a good book and how your reddish lips thin out into a line when you read a bad one, and your distate in how the story flowed, he loved every bit. You bet that's he's so entranced by your looks. he also noted how your skin radiated when your face tilted to atleast a certain angle where the rays of sunlight shone to your cheeks. Until your beautiful and radiant eyes had caught him staring at you only then did you closed your book. "Is there something on my face?" you asked in a soft tone and he swore he felt his heart thump loudly, he gulped before clearing his throat to speak "N-no, in fact I was just uhh. Just checking here and then I saw y-you"

Okay well that sounded way dumber than how it should be.

He bit his lip in frustration before sighing "I see you like books. What's your name?" he asked and you replied with a soft chuckle and his heartbeat increased by this.

"I'm Y/N. And you?" you said advancing towards him and holding out your hand which he held and shook firmly

"Kang Taehyun. Nice to meet you Y/N."

Hueningkai

He was your no. 1 wingman, your no. 1 partner in crime and most of all, your no. 1 best friend.

And he? He doesn't think of you that way, he always thought of you as his only muse, his only partner for life, his first and last love. You didn't knew how you hurted him so much when you regard him as only a friend but that is to be expected anyway.

But what hurts him most is you trying to find someone to love. But didn't bother to even spare him a glance, he thought it was better this way but damn he couldn't. He fell in love with you for well being you. Yet you belong to someone else, you belonged once to a random guy you bumped into the street, you belonged once to a guy who stared at you when you were a waitress before, you belonged to someone you met on an app, and you belonged to a bookworm that you met. Why? Why can't it be him for once? He was for sure handsome, funny, goofy, a bit smart, talented and passionate in chasing his dreams if becoming an idol. But why can't you love him? It broke him, it really did.

But what broke him even more was how many tears you shed for these persons you met. How they changed you, a free-spirited person to a quiet person that seemed almost out of its light. Every time you cried Kai was always there to hug you and comfort you with words like "You make me be a better me. You're so valid Y/N. You don't know how special you are to me and to anyone you meet." he keeps repeating the words for you to understand that a guy like him can love you. He brings you chocolates, bouquets of purple flowers since the color purple is very special to you. He would treat you out to your favourite restaurants and made sure you were well loved by him. While still maintaining his loud and goofy self. Until one day your light is back while his light was running out. He was so close to giving up on you and moving on, because he got tired of feeling this way and he knew it isn't healthy. But he couldn't leave your side, he's that pathetic. And he knows that. He should give up.

Until you hugged him so tight and your tears are overflowing. "Is it them again? What did they do? Did they bother you again?" he asked softly as he hugged you in his arms and you shook your head no and continued sobbing.

"Kai, I'm hurt because of someone else." you said and he felt his heart break again "I'm so blind to his feelings. I'm so blind to not spare him a glance at all. I'm so stupid for not knowing sooner. Kai, I'm sorry i love you too. I really do." you finally said and he swore his own tears fell from his cheeks and he caressed both your cheeks as he sobbed heavily at the realization that you fell for him. That at last, he achieved his own happy ending.

And he's so happy with you and loved and complete. He swears he's never gonna hurt you like what they did. This time will be different and like the man that he is he sealed all his promises with a soft and tender kiss on the lips.

#txt #yeonjun #soobin #hueningkai #beomgyu #txt reactions #txt fluff #txt x reader #txt x you #kang taehyun #txt taehyun #txt huening kai #txt soobin #txt yeonjun #txt beomgyu #idol au

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wannawrite · 6 years

Text

The Royals - KD [ pt.2 ]

who?: Wanna One’s Kang Daniel

genre: 🌺🌸

type: bullet point

TW: violence, guns - GUN! CONTROL!, profanity

blog navigator.

part two \ two

one

mafia! AU

you’ve always known he could break bones, but you never thought Kang Daniel was capable of breaking your heart

concludes daniel’s story! sorry this literally took a decade to upload, hope y’all ain’t starved

- Admin L

disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners everything purely fictional DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERING

time went on as usual

eventually, you announced to your friends and family that you and Daniel were no longer a thing

it was tragic sad

at least your friends never left your side through the thick and thin

JooE even offered to throw away the painting she had painted but you insisted she keep it

you avoided him as much as you could at school

not much because he was literally EVERYWHERE

last time, you appreciated the fact you too had so many clashing classes and lunch slots...

now they just were more opportunities for the dagger lodged in your chest to sink deeper

• thankfully, Daniel didn’t shoot a sad puppy dog look or a cheery smile because you would hAVE CRACKED INTO PIECES AND GOTTEN BACK WITH HIM YEAH

whipped

whipped enough for you to still congratulate him on graduation day and made that a final goodbye to your ex-boyfriend

okay maybe you were just a courteous person

you wondered how his mafia was doing

how was Jeon Somi? what was Ong Seongwoo up to?

after a short two days of staying at Somi’s apartment - she got you out of the wrecked Kang mansion - you grew attached to her and considered her your friend

however, you only managed to get her KakaoTalk and due to her busy schedule, she almost never replied to your messages

in a sense, you missed out on the exciting mafia lifestyle

but better safe than sorry right? especially when dealing with the law

some people just weren’t cut out to be part of organised crime associations

sometimes...whenever you let your mind wander, it would take you to an alternate universe where you had stayed with Daniel

here Daniel had accepted your help and stuck with you

a world where you too held the mark of a royal - a tattooed crown

you would be one of them

and it would be you and Daniel. Both of you missions together, going up against NCT, fighting side by side

mundane school life thrown into the wind, caution tossed far away

you could be travelling all over the globe with the love of your life, tracking down NCT members and claiming heists

that could’ve been your new life

but it wasn’t

and Daniel wasn’t involved in your current...that bit kind of sucked the most if you were completely honest

...you wanted him, and all of his dark secrets

haha but you had neither

strangely, life seemed well enough for you to forget the majority of the details, only remembering the important parts

life goes on

people move on

so why the hell was there a bitter aftertaste on the tip of your tongue when you saw a post on IG with Daniel in it

he seemed to be posing with close friends, pulling candid faces

who tf are they and why do I still follow them

@kinghwan

uhhh Kim Jaehwan from that one Christmas part from 3 years ago?

it was more of your cousin’s party, which is why you only knew your family there

you think you only followed him because he followed you?

how does he know Daniel?

why is Daniel so important to him that he must appear in one of the three pictures on his feed

+ Jaehwan has a lot of followers 14k...they’ll all be seeing Daniel

WHAT THE HELL

...those kinds of things happened occasionally

look that dumb prick went drinking again and he spent money on a bitter Hite can

stupid...I bet he couldn’t even walk into his house that night

wait, why do I still care?

graduation was the last incident you had seen him face to face

surprisingly, he disappeared right after school had ended, as if he vanished from the face of the earth

perhaps it was another Kang Daniel effect

at least he was gone

that part helped your brain to more or less erase a small chunk of your memories of him

you just hoped he wasn’t gone for good

anyway

you drew out your own map, paved your own path, created an individual route in life

did whatever the hell you wanted to do

whatever deemed morally and lawfully correct that is

be good children okay

whenever you could, you worked as a flight attendant on one of the country’s top airlines to fund your college tuition

the stack law school fees weren’t going to pay themselves

not to be nsfw but here I am organising baguettes on a jet powered by dinosaur bones, flying through clouds

‘WE HAVE 2 MINUTES BEFORE BOARDING STARTS. WHERE ARE THE BREAD TRAYS.’

keep :) calm :))

I’m sure everyone is familiar with how boarding a plane works

you’re checking people’s boarding passes as they march into the aircraft

some of the names start ringing bells into your head

fire alarm bells

Kim Jaehwan

Kim Chungha

Ong Seongwoo

Kim Sohye

WAIT

AS IN THE ONG SEONGWOO FROM FOUR YEARS AGO

THE KIM JAEHWAN FROM THREE YEARS AGO

they’re dressed like ordinary passengers, but black masks hide the bottom half of their face

is Seongwoo wearing circle lenses?

why the hell are they flying economy when they have 11 private jets?

just what are The Royals up to now

f o u r years ago...it was about trying to salvage Daniel’s relationship with you, protecting you two from NCT

what are they doing now?

The Royals: Where are they now? not clickbait

a heist? an ambush attack? meeting with dealers? meeting with NCT? or had their enemy changed?

dealers as in firearm and car dealers...not drugs

don’t do drugs kids

and don’t buy illegal firearms or cars, you’ll end up in jail

just don’t do illegal things

a small fraction of your heart began to beat wildly once again

this was the first time you had such a close encounter with people you thought had been left in your past

a brief look of recognition crossed Seongwoo’s eyes when his gaze fell on you but he pressed his lips together and continued moving down the aisle

great...just fantastic, the whole gang of them are sitting in the rows I’m in charge of in

do! not! crack! now!

Jaehwan couldn’t possibly remember me because he spent the whole party with my cousins and ended up drunk playing the piano

Seongwoo would’ve shown some sort of response if he remembered

so, I’m just another flight attendant

good

nothing’s gonna happen

even with that phrase chanting in your head, your hands still shook and heat still scorched the back of your neck

you simply could not stop yourself from observing them, your eyes rarely left the four faces

so much so you almost dropped an entire tray of drinks on another passenger

finally, after serving the passengers’ lunch, you got a chance to catch your breath

‘tired?’ your colleague asked you as she fanned her face, trying to stall the melting of her makeup

‘definitely, work never stops,’ you replied with a chuckle

you wondered why she was pulling a weird face and gesturing to ‘turn around’

when you did, you nearly smacked into a girl who bore a black mask

• your co-worker stepped out of the pantry, closing the thick purple curtain behind her

‘how can I he-‘

it all happened in one fluid motion

the girl’s hand curled around your throat, your body slammed into the cabinet-lined walls, a gust of breath leaving your lungs

‘who sent you to keep watching us?’ she snarled, ripping away her black mask

‘I-I...’ well, what on earth were you going to say? she wouldn’t believe me anyway

‘don’t test my patience. I won’t spare a second in stopping your air supply.’ There was a furious glint in her eyes, but you had seen this look before

it was the look Daniel gave you when he broke up with you

it wasn’t out of pure aggression or force, she just wanted to protect her friends

he just wanted to protect you

maybe himself too

a bit too late to understand now....

oxygen was rapidly dwindling in your bloodstream and your head began to throb

the sound of metal scraping metal and the curtain being pulled open called you back to consciousness

‘sohye! want the hell are you doing?’

Seongwoo?

he yanked the girl - supposedly

Sohye - off you, allowing you to heave deep breath

Seongwoo restrained her from you, ignoring her attempts to break free. ‘Calm down! It’s them. They...they’re Daniel’s ex.’

she froze in her spot, like a deer caught in the headlights

wow who knew being Daniel’s ex was such a big deal

who knew it would get me killed?

‘I-I t-thought NCT sent them. We have no clue who to trust nowadays; NCT has spies everywhere!’ Sohye hissed in a hushed tone

Seongwoo nodded understandingly, his eyes darting around to ensure the three of you weren’t being watched

he turned to face you

‘I need you to come with us.’

your brows knitted together, puzzled, not quite making sense of what he was trying to tell you

I’m not a Royal? I haven’t seen one in 4 years

‘This plane is headed to Dubai right now. There, a jet is waiting to take us to London,’ Sohye explained

clog wheels began churning rapidly in your head, trying to understand what they were saying

‘We’re going to see Daniel.’

blood coursing through your veins froze, your eyes went round like hard candy, everything around you seemed to stand still

Kang Daniel, it’s been more than four years since I’ve seen you

I never imagined that our first meeting would be like this

‘how the hell do you expect me to get out of my job?’ you retorted to the four gang members. ‘I’m due the next flight back to Seoul.’

Chungha let out a chuckle. ‘We’ve got connections. I bet someone is already filling your spot.’

The Royals were powerful enough to let your strict boss let you off so easily

ridiculous

you took a glance at your small overnight luggage and back at the Royalty

deep breaths

think about it...it’s now or never

‘okay, let’s go.’

Seongwoo grinned, he grabbed the handle of your luggage. ‘Woojin is waiting in the jet for us.’

...hmm...don’t think my chances of escape were high anyway

Kang Daniel is one rich prick

I love him

you just like his private jet

who wouldn’t fall in love with the jet that had polished wood floors, plush calf leather seats and a seemingly unlimited supply of food and beverages

there were even private bedrooms for night flights

luxurious

Jaehwan heaved a deep sigh of relief when the plane wheels left the tarmac runway

he looked like he was just pale of fainting

‘NCT was watching us. I could feel their eyes on me. Those young kids Jisung and Chenle are unbelievably sneaky.’

• is anyone else shook by how drastically nct dream has changed bc me

‘wait, NCT was around this whole time?’ you asked, chewing the inside of your lips nervously

‘yeah, they’ve gotten wind of you and more information. Some weird idea of Taeyong’s decided that you were a threat and needed to be eliminated too,’ Chungha spoke up

‘our mission was to take you to HQ in London, where there are fewer NCT associates. Somi sent us.’

‘Daniel doesn’t know......’

wonderful, I’m going to give him the surprise of a lifetime

‘And I had no idea what you looked like until today, sorry I tried to kill you just now.’ Sohye apologised, smiling sheepishly

you wondered if it was a common saying among The Royals

‘how’s Daniel?’ you blurted out, unable to keep your curiosity at bay. A warm blush suffused into your cheeks

the four members snickered with knowing smirks on their faces

‘He’ll be pleasantly surprised to see you in person. I’m sick of him staring at polaroids in his wallet all day.’

it was safe to say that made your blush redder than a tomato and butterflies erupt in your stomach

uh those butterflies morphed into blood sucking leeches by the time you found yourself packed away into a limousine and on the way to The Royals London HQ

why London? did they expand so wide internationally?

you just had too many questions

Daniel...Daniel...Daniel...Daniel was the keyword that chanted in your brain

the HQ was a very low-key building, unlike the lavish apartment complex in Korea

till smack in the middle of the busiest centre of the city

it seemed like a classic office building, just extremely well-guarded

you figured there weren’t many Royals wandering around London

‘c’mon, this way,’ Jaehwan whispered, leading the whole gang - now inclusive of Woojin, the pilot - through an entrance, easily passing by security. ‘Daniel isn’t around-‘

‘well, well,’ a voice called out

h i m

i miss him

i miss that voice so much, but I never thought anxiety would arise when he called out to us

‘h-hyung...’

Daniel’s steely eyes bore into yours, his gaze had changed, his overall appearance had gone through a massive transformation

though, you swear those liquid brown orbs softened when he recognised who you were

‘you brought them here? who is responsible for this?’ Daniel growled out through clenched teeth

before anyone could open their mouth to respond, you voiced out, ‘It was me.’

everyone’s eyes were on you, revealing their true shock

‘I-I contacted Seongwoo after many years of searching...and then I begged him to intercept my Dubai flight to take me here because...because I knew you would be here,’ you fibbed, hoping it was believable at least for a second

you answered all his unspoken questions. ‘I missed you, Daniel. Is that such a crime?’

a huff came from his devilish lips, he gestured for you to follow him as the others retreated

Daniel lead you into a study on the far side of the building, the pristine floor-length glass windows offered a fantastic view of the city below

his expensive taste was evident from the fabulous art pieces that decorated the walls, the sparkling dark mahogany furniture and a knitted couch

suddenly, you felt Daniel’s arms snake around your waist, his soft lips came onto yours, deepening the kiss with urgency

‘I’ve been wanting to do that for forever,’ he muttered against your lips after pulling away to catch his breath

he continued before you could say a word. ‘I was absolutely furious when I heard about Somi’s mission. All I wanted was to keep you safe, but here I was doing the exact opposite.’

huh? not a single NCT member could come to your mind just pondering about it?

Daniel shot you an unamused yet worried look

‘did you really think Lucas was a nice guy from church? he’s the biggest sinner I’ve ever encountered.’ The surety in Daniel’s voice was alarming

‘...which is why you’re here now...and I kissed you...’

you want to yell at him, shred his expensive paintings and throw marble statues at him

but you can’t

‘you were a real bastard for leaving me four years ago,’ you spit, meaning every single word. ‘Don’t think I’m going to waltz right into your arms again.’

not that you want to hurt him, you just want him to realise what he’s done wrong

okay yeah maybe you do want Daniel to regret leaving you in the dust

‘I know. I’m sorry I was a such a coward, I was wrong.’

the very tips of his ears begin to go red as he takes a step away from you, backing straight into his desk

only two picture frames sit on the tabletop, one of them of his elite unit and the other frame held a picture of him and you

if NCT broke in, they would get every single bit of information without trying too hard

I suppose that’s why there are guards patrolling EVERYWHERE

Daniel’s shock towards your next words was clearly written all over him

ah yes he knocked over his laptop

‘it’s okay, I understand. I would’ve done the same if I was in that position. That doesn’t excuse the fact I’m still hurt and upset over that incident but we grow up and mature, I think we don’t have to be petty about it.’

internally, a conflict was stirring but being the mature person you are, you were willing to get Daniel back as a friend

hopefully, you won’t be s w o o n i n g into his hold after 2 seconds

Daniel perked up immediately, his eyes glazed over dreamily. ‘Serious?’

‘woah lover boy, I’m not going to be kissing your lips again!’ you hurl with a playful - almost flirty - chuckle. ‘I’m saying we can be friends.’

we all know what happens from here onwards

‘reeeeaaallllyyyy?’ Daniel drawls out, flashing an enchanting smile. He sweeps you off your feet, planting you on the desk

your heart begins to pound as he leans in, lips barely brushing your earlobes

‘you’re so certain about that, aren’t you?’

face is pink

Daniel is too cheesy

avoiding his alluring moves is hard work but you still try your best

‘yes, of course, I am.’

he pouts sulkily like the young teenager you recall him to be

‘fine then. want to grab dinner together?’

the offer is extremely tempting but you know you’ll fall in DEEP

‘daniel...I really shouldn’t’

‘what? two friends can’t eat dinner together? that’s a tad bit unfair, don’t you think?’ Daniel points out, furrowing his brow. His eyes say he’s won it all

how bad could this be?

very

how long am I going to live for?

better, how long will Daniel stay with me?

‘okay then,’ you agree, seemingly nonchalant while your heartbeat speeds up. ‘Pick a place and tell me the dress code. After, we have to talk about this whole NCT thing.’

he nods too excitedly, unable to contain his enthusiasm

anticipation

the WANT to go on a date with Daniel again arises after years of suppression

a fresh start

saving the story from the very end is the best beginning

perhaps, Daniel was still the guy who held that special place in your heart

even though he messed up a few years back, nothing could be worse than living unforgiven

too merciful to leave him in misery

I won’t live regretting my actions anymore

I just hope that...Daniel was lying when he said he didn’t love me

if not I’m calling Somi and we’re getting out of here lol

I’ve a l w a y s loved them, I should never have pushed them away

‘just wait and see, being in love gets you places.’

#wanna one #produce 101 #wanna one scenarios #produce 101 scenarios #kang daniel

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greatplanettahoe · 7 years

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Japan Log Day 1

I kind of want to create a log of my time in Japan. I think it’d be fun, and from what I’ve heard, I’d be able to remember my trip better! There may be a day delay for me, at least for day one because that was all flying and lemme tell you, after a 13 hour flight, a 3 hour flight felt like NOTHING, haha. I felt like I played on my DS for a half hour and it was over. So, I don’t know when entirely I’ll post these, or if anyone cares, but I don’t. Because it’ll be fun for me to look back on and remember ;)

Day one - The day of insane travel

Our journey began as most other journeys do, of sitting at home, counting away the hours and having panicked thoughts of what you still need to do and what’s been done. My way of coping was to blast music - sorry Tegan - and stare blankly at a wall. Not productive when packing was half done. Luckily, I got everything ready about an hour before my friend came to pick me up. About ten minutes before, I began to stress clean. I guess that’s exciting? Lilia’s parents graciously took us to Vancouver In'tl Airport (YVR)- Canada. The car ride felt short. Shorter than I thought it was to get to the border. Right before we hit, we got to see the tiny little peace arch. Cool! Going in, the border guard is looking over our passports, doing the routine questions.

Then, he leans in and goes “Alauna?” and I sheepishly correct him as he clearly wasn’t quite sure how to pronounce my name. He informs me that I need to sign my passport and I need to do that before I check in at the airport otherwise they may not let me fly. OOPS! Luckily Lil’s dad had a pen that I could use otherwise I’d have to hunt for somewhere to sell a pen at the airport at MIDNIGHT! Getting into the country, I receive a text from my mobile provider. CONGRATS! T-Mobile works in Canada text/data free, call 20c/min. Neat!

After a pretty good wait in line - China Eastern is apparently a very popular company - and chatting with the nice lady in front of us we reach the airline official. Neither of our passports scanned into the computer. Probably because Lilia’s is 9 years old, mine’s 1 month. He was very kind, making sure that we knew our layover was between two different airports in Shanghai (more on that later, ugh) and asked us if we had any illegal items to which we both said no. He smiled and said “I trust you two, you both look very trustworthy”. He then noticed that we were seated at least 10 rows away from each other. With our permission he changed our seats to be together. Once he got our tickets, he pointed out what information we needed to know. Lilia got seat C, he was going to be in seat B, I in A …. wait. There is no seat B! :P With a very heartfelt thank you, we asked where the gates were and said our farewell.

Getting up to security, was a very small line with a long wait. It looked like the officer’s battery had died on his scanner and had to get a new one. Oh well. After that, it took about 2 seconds to make sure our tickets were valid - phew! and go onto phase two with the bag screening. They instructed us to put laptops in a separate tray. Confusedly, I ask the man why. He mentioned because laptops could be bombs. Which, I never thought about and by the look on my face, he must have understood and had a small smile as we thanked him. Lilia got through security fine. The metal detector beeped for me. Contrats, I’m wearing a bra, because that was literally why the detector beeped for me. Past that, we walked through a small mall with a bunch of stores, and very glittery flooring. Our gate was easy to find, and had a subway near us. We just got chips and ginger ale as we both weren’t feeling fantastic.

There’s not much meant to be said for the flight. Although, as it took off, Lilia looked at me and said; “I regret every jet I crashed in GTA 5”

It was nearly 13 hours and insane. Neither of us slept much, which sucked. But, at least it was quiet as pretty much everyone else did sleep. Except for one guy in the row beside us whose entertainment screen wouldn’t turn off and he was trying to sleep so he had his jacket backwards to cover his face LOL. I did kind of feel bad for him since it was legitimately malfunctioning. Their movie selection was pretty bomb. Lilia and I synced up our screens so we watched Furious 7 together. The airline provided us dinner. I accidentally got shrimp noodles, which thank you that my medicine works, and Lilia got some sort of beef patty and rice. There was also some sort of custard that was similar to cheesecake, but not entirely. It was delicious. We both tried to sleep for a while. Gave up. We got breakfast which was two adorable hash-brown patties, an omelette, and a very undercooked, disease sausage link which neither of us touched. At that point, Lilia started up Day After Tomorrow, and I started Secret Life of Pets … which got interrupted a total of a billion times. I managed to finish SLoP right before they cut off entertainment for landing purposes.

The drive after landing and getting to our gate was probably half the time of our flight. We get another text from T-Mobile. Welcome to China! Your phone has free texting, call 20c/min, and 2g unlimited data! AWESOME!

Immigration was easy, whom also informed us that our connecting flight was in a separate airport, security was easy (they have thermal screening, so that was definitely interesting!), and getting our luggage was SUPER easy. Customs, we had nothing to declare so went through that line no prob, and exited the airport into a throng of people all shouting ‘taxi!’. One guy dogged us for a long time and we eventually rolled with him as the bus to take us to Honquaio was in another hour and we only had four before our other flight. Driving in Shanghai is terrifying. Our driver nearly creamed 2 people on mopeds, and almost hit countless other cars. I never want to drive in Shanghai. As nice as the city was, there was no telltale building style, and all the buildings were insane colors. I saw an apartment complex that was hot pink. OK. We arrive at the airport, to where the cabby swindled us out of a little more money than what we agreed on, but both of us were tired and didn’t care at that point. The line in this airport was about two times longer than YVR, but went quickly enough. Again, getting to our gate was super easy, and we had about an hour of downtime before boarding.

Second flight felt way too short, and they provided us with spaghetti and another of those delicious cluster squares! Hell yeah. I think I played my DS for the entire time, but it was hard to tell since the flight felt super short.

Getting into Japan, immigration was NUTS. The line was insanely long, although it went quickly. Got fingerprinted so if I crime in Japan, they’ll know it was me. Shucks. Too bad I wasn’t planning on anything anyways. We both had our first experience with a Japanese western toilet which I’m now convinced they all have bidets since our hotel toilet has one too. FYI, the seats are very warm when you sit on them, and the one in the airport played gentle music to mask the fact that I had the best racehorse pee in the universe. Sorry, TMI? We get ANOTHER text from T-mobile. HOORAY! Your phone works! Free text, 20c/min call, 2g unlimited data! WHAT?! I wasted $40 on SIM cards before we left, and now we don’t need them! Oh well, lol.

Hitting up the international ATM, my card was declined. WHAT!? I had called my bank, so they should know I’m here! I managed to get the attention of an airport lady who graciously tried helping, but it declined for her too. Lilia was able to get out some cash. What the heck?! We asked the airport lady where the Keikyu line was and if Pasmo was over there, and she instructed us what to do. We thanked her for her time and assistance. Meanwhile, there was another American having the same problem as I. I noticed his card had a chip. Lilia’s didn’t. Ding ding, it’s the chip. We got sodas and some Japanese candy and a fruit cup, got Pasmo’s and went to the station towards Kawasaki - after a little help as we didn’t see our stop.

The train wasn’t too terribly crowded. But, went approximately the speed of a fighter jet. My shoulder and back is still sore for hanging on for dear life while making sure my luggage didn’t go anywhere. There was a lady I kept bumping into and I kept apologizing whenever I did though she just smiled and told me it was OK. There was also a nice man there who watched us to make sure we were OK and whenever another train passed us, make a slight thunking noise, probably had a great internal laugh at my face whenever I had a slight panic about it.

Getting off the station and heading down some steps, there are apparently designated sides which you move. We went down halfway the wrong way, realized, and moved over with our luggage. Sorry! Walking here is definitely interesting. There’s people crossing the streets, not even really looking. I think we saw 1 personal car on our walk to the hotel.

Getting into Noanoa was easy. Manager was SUPER nice, got our luggage taken to the room, and let us stay in the spa room while we waited the last hour before the official check-in time. While there, Lilia opened up her fruit cup, which has jello instead of juice, and I had my candies which were DELICIOUS, and apparently limited time, so guess what I’m buying more of once I get cash? Because Japan is a very cash-heavy type of country.

Our hotel room is a little small, but nothing we can’t handle. I’m sure Lilia feels weird actually being on par or taller than most the people we’ve passed walking to the hotel. We spent half the day exploring the tiny room, seeing what was on TV and being very confused over a child’s show before turning it off. We figured out google translate, and have translated pretty much everything in our room. We still need to figure out the unit on the wall, but we at least know lighting, what the controls are on the bidet, and how to work the mechanical nightmare that is the shower. We put on a Youtube show that we both like, and I crashed just before 7PM after roughly 24 hours of travel and not sleeping. Lilia poked me awake and we officially went to bed around 7PM.

We have not eaten since at least noon on the flight, and it’s going on 14 hours. Yeesh.

Our plans today, as I’m finishing this up around 2PM, is to visit an actual bank so I can hopefully withdraw cash, find somewhere to eat, and hit up a couple parks and museums. There’s also the Keihin Fushimi Inari shine that we’ll probably explore. Today is slotted to be a low-key day as we’re both pretty tired even after sleeping for a solid 12+ hours.

Note: Edited for easier reading

#Japan Log #Day 1 #Japan Trip #This blog is a day behind just fyi

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junker-town · 6 years

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Arsenal vs. Liverpool almost broke my brain

These are the thoughts of a delirious Arsenal fan during the best game of the Premier League season.

The Man with the Iron Fists is such a weird movie. Japanese characters speaking English in a movie that’s set in Japan and is supposed to be a stereotypical martial arts movie just feels wrong. It should be in Japanese with subtitles. Oh, the Arsenal and Liverpool game is on, I forgot that was today. Probably my brain trying to make sure I missed it after the last few matchups scarred me emotionally. Might as well put it on since it’s my job to put myself through emotional pain and write about it.

40 matches over the next 14 days is absurd. The Premier League definitely needs a winter break, putting players through that schedule is inhumane. Profit rules everything around sports and everything else in this world but there has to be a limit eventually. The games aren’t good because players are tired and everyone else not in England seems to recognize that letting human beings who play almost 60 combined games a season a bit of rest in the middle of the year as a good thing. What the hell are Liverpool wearing? Bold Citrus? That sounds like something a designer says to scam a corporation out of a bunch of money to just company the worst Barcelona kit from a few years ago.

Ainsley Maitland-Niles looks like a concerned citizen who is worried about the crimes of Jack the Ripper. Whys is Mo Salah one on one with him? This won’t turn out well at all.

Why did Mesut Özil send a corner out to Nacho Monreal at the edge of the box? Monreal, of all people. I would rather you just kicked it out of play from the corner. English commentators really hate zonal marking, almost as much as they hate foreign managers. Shut up, Jamie Redknapp. His voice sounds like austerity. I love how Özil lets the ball run across his body, even when he’s not really under any pressure, it gives him a chance to scan the field without having to concentrate on controlling the ball. It’s up there with his Cruyff turns.

Arsenal have the most handsome striker depth. Alexandre Lacazette, Olivier Giroud and Danny Welbeck are better looking than every other team’s strikers. More diverse too.

Jordan Henderson looks like a working class Harry Kane and runs like he’s fighting and losing against the effects of late-stage capitalism. Oh he’s injured. Who’s coming on? James Milner lacks so much sauce that he should be out in the streets begging for a drip of it. He needs every bit he can get. He looks like Major Chip Hazard from Small Soldiers. Or the human form of Hephaestus.

Alex Iwobi runs like his shoes are too small and passes as well as a Nigerian man lies about the second family that he has in another country. Not well. Alexis Sanchez never actually jumps for a header, he just jumps into the defender. Short people. Laurent Koscielny is such a boss, what a clearance to stop that Andrew Robertson. I’m so glad he plays for Arsenal, I remember when people doubted how good he is. Oh to be young again. Feels like just yesterday oh shit Roberto Firmino just dispossessed him. What was Koscielny doing in midfield to begin with? That’s not your job, bro.

Granit Xhaka should definitely not be the supporting midfielder for Maitland-Niles, he doesn’t even pretend to care about defending. He just does that thing where he bends his knees and shifts his body to look like he’s defending without doing anything dynamic. He’s the “yeah I know Excel” of defending.

I’m so glad Arsenal have Petr Cech, that Firmino header would have been a problem with any of the previous keepers. When Firmino smiles, a bird falls out of the sky after being blinded. You can only approach Firmino while holding up the same shield that Perseus used to kill Medusa.

Glad to see Alexis and Lacazette combining. Lacazette is so good with his feet unlike that other guy and oh, another Firmino header. That was close. Maitland-Niles needs to stop thinking about his objections to Edgar Allan Poe’s poems and concentrate on defending that back-post, please.

Oh wow, Coutinho scored.

A lovely looping header from Philippe Coutinho! #ARSLIV #YNWA http://pic.twitter.com/qckAOGS3gU

— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) December 22, 2017

Was that after a throw-in? What the hell was Koscielny doing? Did Salah threaten him with exile if he engaged him outside of the box? What the hell was Xhaka doing? He stayed with Coutinho throughout the entire play and stopped right before he headed the ball? Did Xhaka have an existential crisis in the middle of the box? Screw Kierkegaard, challenge the damn runner. Xhaka always has at least four “what the hell are you doing” moments in a game. Sometimes it’s his defending, sometimes it’s the passes, sometimes both but he always meets the quota.

Oh dear God, that Salah and Mane counterattack is scary. It should be illegal to have both of them in the same team. I hope Liverpool gets investigated and forced to sell one of them.

Alexis loves giving the ball away as much as he loves his dogs. Iwobi loves giving the ball away and passing out of play as much as he likes running like the floor is lava.

How did Monreal go in late on Mane and he’s the one injured? Guess it’s actually serious, he’s still down. Emre Can looks like a Spanish Jordan Henderson, and he’s German which makes it more hilarious.

Xhaka gives the ball away again. Someone please put “Xhaka gives the ball away again” on my gravestone. Arsenal’s midfield is playing like they were all out clubbing last night and had to hide behind the trash can after because Jack Wilshere thinks that works to keep them from having their pictures taken.

Salah is fast as hell. How is anyone that fast? He’s like a mouse when you turn the light on. Hector Bellerin is going to be so good after he finally avenges the death of his father at the hands of Silver Lion and Bronze Lion and can concentrate solely on soccer.

Holy shit, is Koscielny match-fixing? How do you slip there out of all places, to let in Mo Salah of all people? Of course Mane went for the spectacular. The man has the sauce. When you have the sauce you’re compelled to do the cool thing over the sensible. He couldn’t have brought that down and shot normally if he wanted to. The man doesn’t have a long part in his hair to do boring Milner things.

Xhaka gives the ball away again. This is how I die. Oh now Özil gives it away twice in a row. He’s definitely doing a performance art piece on how Xhaka plays.

Mustafi is coming on? I guess that Monreal injury was serious. I love that he prays before coming on, I should do something on the religious rituals that players have before and during games. Hopefully he prayed for Arsenal’s midfield.

Shut up, Jamie Redknapp.

Goodness Christ that Mane and Salah counterattack is going to kill me before the new year. Please stop Salah from running. Wilshere please. Just foul him. Slide. Do something. No, don’t go to Firmino, follow the guy that’s going towards goal and not the one on the sideline. Why is there three people on Firmino when he’s on the damn sideline. Someone please step onto Salah, don’t give him space, don’t give him space, please don’t give him space and of course he scored you idiots. I told you to not give him space. I hate this team so much. SANCHEZ!

Alexis I love you so much! You beautiful waxed man! The greatest Chilean since Isabel Allende. I’ve always loved you, even when I said that you should be put on both team sheets since you love to give the ball away so much, it was out of love.

Xhaka please don’t shoot this, YOU GORGEOUS MAN! What a cannon!

I’ve never loved another human being as much as I love you. The gods carved you out of marble and gave you a rocket for a left foot. Shoot everything, always. I don’t care. Look at Simon Mignolet flapping at the shot, Liverpool should probably think of getting a keeper who can actually save shots.

Look at Özil leading the resurgence. And they said he disappears in big games. Love to see him and Lacazette combine and OH MY GOD. ÖZIL!

My one and true son! I would sacrifice all of my other sons for your sake. I love no one but you and only you. You wonderful angel. Look at the gang sign. Look at the knee slide. Look at the hair. Everything is perfect.

Coutinho is so good. A damn outside of the boot pass across the field to Mane. Thank goodness for Cech.

Xhaka, what the hell are you doing? You don’t tackle people from behind. Look at Özil again, if Lacazette plays a one-two with him instead of backheeling that pass to Wilshere, they would have recreated the earlier goal. Please don’t pass it to Jack when Özil is open, Lacazette. You have to know these things.

Shut up, Jamie Redknapp. I’m pretty sure the last image I’ll see before I die is Mane and Salah running at the Arsenal defense.

Why is Firmino wide open at the top of the box? Why is Firmino wide open at the top of the box? I’M SORRY, WHY IS FIRMINO WIDE OPEN AT THE TOP OF THE BOX?

The goal that made @Arsenal v. @LFC 3-3 #ARSLIV http://pic.twitter.com/fFuPWNUc1j

— NBC Sports Soccer (@NBCSportsSoccer) December 22, 2017

What is Koscielny doing? Who is he even looking at while Firmino is right next to him? I hope Netflix is paying him good money for this comedic performance. He’s literally looking running to defend time and space instead of the forward right next to him. Oh wow, Cech saved it. What a wonderful keeper. Cech you absolute scrub. You just went full Manuel Almunia huh? How do you save the shot into your own goal? 15 points a season my ass.

This game is not good for my health. I should start going to therapy and bill Arsenal for it. I can’t believe that he saved the ball into the goal. Oh yes cech, kick the ball back to Liverpool. That’s exactly what we need right now.

What a touch by Iwobi. And now he’s coming off for Danny Welbeck, the sixth best black man alive, after me/Idris Elba (same person), Mahershala Ali, Jay Z, Barack Obama and LeBron James.

How happy is Georginio Wijnaldum to have escape Newcastle? Probably as happy as the Arsenal defense is to see that Mane is going off.

How did Özil slip under no pressure there? Is the spirit of Steven Gerrard haunting this field? If we lose because of a slip, I’m never watching soccer again. I swear to Paolo Maldini.

Oh look, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, the man with the name of the Chief Constable who assures Maitland-Niles that he will catch Jack the Ripper in no time. The Judas. Jezebel. The sycophant.

Xhaka, what the hell are you doing? Please stop doing these things.

Wonderful, now that Mane is off, Gini wants to counterattack with Salah. What is Koscielny doing? Why are you running towards Gini when SALAH OF ALL PEOPLE IS RUNNING ACROSS YOU? THERE’S THREE PEOPLE CHASING GINI ALREADY! Who replaced Koscielny with Johan Djourou?

I don’t want to see Theo Walcott do anything. It takes him six touches to do something a good player could do with two. He’s the eternal youth player.

What a wonderful pass from Wilshere to Özil and Özil completely blows the cross. Oh my goodness that almost went in. How did it come down at that angle? That’s wild. I’m sure he meant it. Özil doesn’t make mistakes.

Huh, Firmino and Coutinho have the same tattoo under their ear. That’s pretty cute.

Thank goodness this game is over. I don’t ever want to watch another match like this again. That made no sense. My head hurts. Of course Milner thought Liverpool should be more boring, the man probably thinks paste is seasoning. He’s worse than the boring Milner meme because that’s satire and he’s utterly serious. I hate him so much.

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