#stede and izzy should have fucked

[cat-hesarose]

Izzy Hands and broken promises

Now that I've had a day to digest the ending, I'm still in the "Izzy should have lived" camp but can better understand why it soured an otherwise great season finale for me.

Keep reading if you like rants about storytelling and queer catharsis from people with a Bachelor degree's worth of overconfidence and strong opinions.

Bar a handful of icks (Zheng Yi Sao getting outsmarted by Ricky, etc), I loved this season and don't see a wealth of problems that would not have been solved by two additional episodes. That said, Izzy's death is one of the things I can't see making any more sense if they had more time to explore his journey because his journey is what problematizes djenk's stated reasoning for his death.

In that one interview (and to be fair, we only have a brief window into his intentions as of right now), djenks positions Izzy as two things, specifically to Ed: a mentor and a father figure. And yeah, mentor figures often die. Their student surpasses them, or acquires a new narrative drive from their mentor's death to continue a quest.

Neither of these things feel like a fit for Izzy and Ed's dynamic nor their respective arcs. Neither does "father figure". Izzy was a love interest. He was described as a love interest. He confessed love to Edward. His mentor relationship was more established with Stede, if anything, who is an unreliable narrator and may well have been lying about Edward claiming that Izzy taught him everything he knows.

The journey that Izzy went on this season was parallel to Ed and Stede but it was with the crew. It's one big queerplatonic love story essentially, of him finding himself as an individual through the support they give and the space they hold for him. Season 2 Izzy Hands is, among other things, a love letter and showcase of the queer community's power to revive hope and purpose.

Izzy has the world's messiest breakup with Ed when they're both at their worst, and his healing begins with the crew of the Revenge. He only interacts with Ed again after bonding with, and growing through, the crew. So yes, it absolutely makes sense that his journey would proceed towards making peace with/saying goodbye to "Blackbeard". But it does not make sense that it would end there, with his death.

Djenks says that they're pirates, and people die. And yeah they do. But in the hand-wavy logic universe of OFMD it feels dismissive to say that about the death of a major character. And odds are, David "Izzy is my favourite character" Jenkins is not dismissive of Izzy, so that leaves tragedy.

My issue with that is, season 2 Izzy is no longer an innately tragic character. If you told me at the end of season 1 that season 2 would end with Izzy dying in Edward's arms telling him to go forth and change and accept love, I would've gone "that's sad but it makes sense." Because it would have, at the time. Season 2 Izzy departed from the trappings (so I thought) of the doomed fate of the bitter old repressed grimdark pirate when he put on the gold-painted wooden hoof and embraced his new role as First Mate of Stede Bonnet's gay floating kindergarten.

His death feels like a betrayal because, in a show that does queer characters Really Well, Izzy's arc feels like a broken promise. To say nothing of the politics of having a character attempt suicide, begin to heal, then say "I want to go" before dying, I wanted Izzy to want to live. It really felt like that was where his character was going, where his character was supposed to go.

Death for a character who is showing all this potential is only a natural ending in a tragedy. It isn't presented as peaceful or to punctuate another character's growth. Season 2 Izzy Hands had ceased to be reliant on and subject to Blackbeard. If anything, he was tied to the crew, who all stood back and felt much more removed from his death than they probably would have been if the show had more time to show their emotional responses. Having him die in Ed's arms, apologising for fueling Ed's destructive tendencies and encouraging him to be himself and accept love, feels like he got shunted off his new arc and back onto the old one. It feels like he went through all of that just to take a last-minute huge step back and re-subjugate himself to this character who does not reciprocate his devotion.

It makes me wonder if his death scene was one of the first ones written, before all that energy was spent giving him a new life and new connections and new, you know, new reason to live.

Anyway, that's how I feel about it. TL;DR Izzy's growth should have included LIVING HIS HARD-WON NEW LIFE and if I ever see djenks i'm going to cross the road and avoid eye contact.

#ofmd #ofmd meta #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd season 2 spoilers #izzy hands #storytelling #comedy and tragedy #why yes i am participating in #discourse #media literacy #fandomposting #stede and izzy should have fucked

[ohmyglobwhatthefrickamievendoing]

Seeing how people reacted to izzy at Jackie's, how people even twice his size were deferential and even a little scared of him it makes so much more sense why he was so pressed after meeting stede for the first time

Imagine being this big of a deal and meeting some newbie who not only outplays you but also has the audacity to bitch right back at you without missing a beat

Equivalent of being an Olympic level cyclist and then getting beaten by some idiot on a tricycle

and immediately after the idiot breaks into your house and seduces your wife

#i'd be frothing at the mouth too ngl #izzy should have fucked him too to see what the big deal is about #just sayin' #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #our flag means death s2 #our flag means death season 2 #ofmd izzy #ofmd stede #stede bonnet #izzy hands #gentlebeard #blackbonnet

[laniidae-passerine]

Izzy moving from the thorn in Stede and Ed’s side to their relationship therapist. Told Ed to leave Stede alone after a traumatic event because he knew it wasn’t a smart idea and then later told Stede to leave the bar to avoid a fight which immediately broke out when Stede got upset and drunk. And he’s hot for these two idiots which is fine because he’s an idiot as well. Love them all <3

#steddyhands is about one person being a therapist who should have their license revoked #and the couple Going The Fuck Through It #and then they have sex about it. the therapist changes every week lol #they’re just so funny to me I doubt it’ll ever happen in canon but like love them sm in my head #our flag means death #ofmd #steddyhands #izzy hands #stede bonnet #edward teach

[trespasssweetlyurged]

hurting my heart today by thinking of izzy repeatedly catching stede alone and giving him some random tip on how to handle ed’s mood swings or what food he likes or how to get him to go back to sleep after a nightmare. and stede is so confused about why, after fighting it so hard, he’s helping him be better with ed now. he’s suspicious until the tips work, and then he’s even more suspicious.

it’s not until Stede somehow, out of nowhere, knows exactly how to set his brace that ed catches on and he’s out of the cabin like a SHOT. stede, after he gets over his shock, follows after him and finds ed pinning izzy down to the deck by his throat. for a moment, he feels sickly victorious that he was right. it was a fuckery and izzy was playing him. except the dinghy is lowered in the water, and ed is shaking with rage and fear as he tells izzy, “you’re not allowed to teach him how to be you and leave. he’s not your fucking replacement. i need you here.” and suddenly stede understands, and he’s not quite sure he likes it.

#steddy hands #blackhands #izzy: percieves himself to have fucked up #izzy: immediately searching for the nearest rowboat because this is obviously an unforgiveable grievance and he should be banished #izzy has rsd there i said it #izzy hands #stede bonnet #stizzy #blackbeard #edward teach #no trespassing

[deaderthandoubledead]

Yeah we talk a lot about how Izzy looks at Ed. But how about we talk about how Izzy looks at Stede?

#I am still procrastinating my uni exams by making Izzy gifs so what #row 2 is the obligatory lip check #also I know that row 3 left gif he's talking about Edward but he's still staring at Stede so it counts #look at him he can be soft with Stede too when he wants to #is it just me or does he looks kinda sad in row 3 right? Izzy are you having quick second thoughts about trying to kill Stede? Hmm? #Izzy had the hots for Stede before Ed did but he's in denial #should I tag this as Stizzy? #fuck it I will #stizzy #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #ofmd izzy #izzy hands #con o'neill #my gifs

[arsenicflame]

at this point if a post implies s1 izzy was homophobic in any way its lost me. we have moved past the need for homophobic + gay izzy interpretations

#i mean i never liked them lol #nothing izzy did read as homophobic to me- at worst it was a guy who was very aware of what being outwardly queer in their lives could mean #and thought hiding it was a good option and that others should do the same #most of the time he just wanted people to do their fucking jobs #and he had issues with ed/stede obviously but again. i dont think it was the gay bit he was having issues with there #hes just a guy whos had to live closeted all his life and doesn't know what to fucking do around all these people who are so open about it #so reckless about it; don't you know its dangerous? #nyxtalks #ofmd #izzy hands #israel hands #it is too early to be having these thoughts but still. its a bad faith interpretation to me now

[laceratedlamiaceae]

Fic where Ed gets sick but since he stranded the crew's only doctor on an island Frenchie somehow ends up taking charge. He prescribes leeches because the problem is clearly that Ed's humors are out of balance and he needs some bloodletting, so then Izzy and Jim go on a grand adventure to find some leeches. They don't really help.

#i just want ed to have a moment of 'oh fuck maybe marooning a bunch of people and trying to run a ship with like 4 people was a bad idea' #and i feel like for character development reasons it should happen without stede's influence #our flag means death #ofmd #edward teach #frenchie ofmd #izzy hands #jim jimenez #fanfic ideas

[izzystizzys]

steddyhands soulmates brainworm where in some magical post-canon (maybe s1? s2?) timeline the revenge is boarded by (gasp) actual capable pirates

izzy isn‘t up on deck when it happens, which is how it happens in the first place, and quite frankly he had a bad feeling about dropping anchor this close to port (insert past blackbeard shenanigans that turned him grey a good decade before anyone else) but when does anyone ever listen to his years of experience and expertise on this clown boat anyways

and. ok interlude. obviously they’re soulmates. obviously izzy has said nothing about it. he’s a fucked up little man with the selfesteem of a wet limpet this is selfexplanatory. obviously ed and stede are Eyeing him, but stede’s too repressed to say anything about it and ed’s too unwilling to admit he’s a very similar brand of fucked up to do much about it.

so. back to the program. even izzy cannot fight a whole entire crew - given that it is both the size it should be for a ship twice as large as the revenge and actually trained, go figure. does he still try? absolutely. everything comes screeching to a halt when someone gets a gun aimed at black pete’s head though, and they’re all rounded up on deck. there is no getting out of this one, izzy knows - he’s been on the other end of this too often not to. he wonders which one they’ll kill first, maybe fang or ivan to make a point, they’re on the stronger end of the crew -

“well well, what have we here?” the captain says, stopping in front of izzy with a leer that would usually see him relieved of one of his hands. he lifts the sharp edge of his sword to izzy’s neck, tracing the edges of the swallow izzy is cursing himself for putting in such a visible spot. “the polite thing to do here seems to inform you for the sizeable bounty on your head, hands.”

izzy sneers out a get fucked, and realizes several things at once: 1, edward cut off his beard just a week ago last, and is currently lounging in the last silk robe onboard. 2, bonnet has not a single frippery left in his closet, and has been forced into the man’s equivalent of torture (sensible clothes). 3, there’s no way charlie vane, who’s currently backhanding him to the ground, didn’t recognize at least edward.

and, 4: it may have been a mistake leaving the man to die of starvation and also marooning three years ago. obviously he can hold a grudge. should’ve shot him and be done with it.

this, izzy thinks as he’s manhandled over to where they’ve set up a plank to cross to vane’s ship, is where on the queen anne, the crew would’ve jumped into one of blackbeards ingenius rescue plans. scratch that, on the queen this would’ve never happened because the people are competent. the revenge’s crew is just shouting a lot and- whoa, he’s upright again.

vane is still smiling, the unsettling fucker, when he circles izzy’s gloved wrist with iron pressure. “you know”, he says, conversationally, “i’ve always wondered, about your mark.” cold fingers slide the glove off his hand, roll up his sleeve. izzy tries to squirm away from it, tries to throw his head back and break someone’s nose, but this is not pirate playgroup - this is a group of actual competents, a fact he curses silently as the mark is exposed to open air, a perfect match for his captains’. there’s a sharp chorus of gasps and then horrible silence that izzy cannot face, closing his eyes instead.

“hm”, vane says, “thought so.” and then pain explodes at the back of izzy’s head, and the world really does fade away.

#steddyhands #ofmd fic idea #charlie saw izzy washing years ago and instantly decided to hold on to Sensitive Information #the prick (justified??) #i lovr izzynapping fics and i think he should get to damsel a bit (he will rescue himself while the revenge is still figuring out rigging) #izzy hands exists at the crossroads of pathetic little meow meow and only competent person for miles to me #ed and stede staring at each other: what the fuck #stede: did you know??? how did you not know??? you were married for twenty years!!! #ed: we were MARRIED??? #that bit will never stop being funny #having to contend with the fact that you’re head over heels for your best friend/worst enemy #oh no he’s hot! (true love edition) #oh no he’s also kidnapped and about to be hanged! (no clickbait) #they try to pull off a daring rescue only to find izzy lounging by the revenge holding charlie vane at gunpoint back on deck #he is after all the only competent person for miles #do they get their shit together or does izzy lalalala i cant hear what youre saying hands refuse to accept their love right away? #who knows all i know is i want them to schlonk it silly style after cringefailing out of rescuing izzy #increasingly unhinged tags warning

[something-about-sunflowers]

Thinking about Izzy with hanahaki, coughing up flowers over Ed for like 25-30 years. Yeah it sucks but its not gonna kill him. Obviously keeps it a secret (From Ed at least, Fang and Ivan caught on but they don’t wanna get involved in All That so they keep it to themselves and help Izzy out when he gets bad spells. None of them mention it but Izzy is grateful, which makes it all the worse when they start palling around with the Revenge crew over Izzy :’Tc).

(Uh, readmore cause I didn’t expect this to get. Like. Huge. lmao)

Then Stede Fucking Bonnet comes along and things get worse as he watches Ed fall for Stede, even if he doesn’t really understand. Still, he manages. Gotta push through, Ed would expect nothing less.

And when Stede leaves and the Kraken happens Izzy goes through a good bit of hell. Ed is barely out the room after the toe incident before Izzy is hacking up so many flowers he thinks he might actually die this time. He doesn’t, though. Cleans himself up, puts his shaky legs to work. (And then Lucius finds out, doesn’t really matter who pulled him back on board, Izzy knows about it because none of them are subtle. He keeps the secret because. He’s really not sure. But Lucius is in the walls and he hears Izzy having a fit and now he knows. He wants to ask. Tries to, even, Izzy shuts him down and he’s not even angry when he does it. Just. Defeated. Lucius silently adds another thing to his ‘Things I’m Gonna Bitch At Blackbeard For Once He’s Not Crazy Anymore’ list.)

When Stede comes back its. Better. For a while. There’s a lot of hurt all around but everyone is alive and they’re (mostly) talking it through as a crew. Ed makes his apologies to the crew, even to Izzy. Stede makes his apologies as well. Izzy accepts that This Is His Life Now. Since Stede seems to actually want to learn now that he can’t just throw money at all his problems Izzy offers to actually teach him (instead of ‘teaching’ him like Ed does). He shows him the ropes (literally), gets him passable with a sword, keeps Ed focused when he’s teaching him navigation (not Izzy’s strong suit, he can manage if he needs to but Ed’s always been better at it). They actually find themselves getting along.

Izzy starts joining the crew during ‘story time’ (sometimes its stories, sometimes its other group activities, easier to just give it the one label). One night, after Stede finishes the story and everyone is heading to bed, he watches Stede and Ed head to their cabin. Sometimes they’ll ask him along for a night cap, not always though, and its. Fine. But. He watches them head off without him. The way they hold each other as they go, smiling, only eyes for each other.

He barely makes it to his room before he’s coughing up the most flowers he’s done since Ed fed him his toe. He, frustratedly, sets to work cleaning them up but. He actually stops to look at them. He stares. And stares and stares.

Two distinct types of flowers littler his floor. He tries to deny it but he understands immediately the implications. Fuck.

Still, Izzy is nothing if not the worlds most repressed trooper. He sticks it out. Or. Tries to. Its hard because Stede and Ed keep asking after him and seeking him out and talking and touching him and. Its just camaraderie he knows but. It makes him want. And he knows he can’t have that. He wouldn’t have a damn botanical garden in his chest if he could. Its starting to take its toll on him though. He can tell its getting bad because Stede and Ed are starting to worry about him. They don’t say it in so many words but he can see it in their eyes. Ed is more hesitant to go on raids, makes up some excuse about his knee playing up more than usual, but Izzy knows it because he can see how his hands shake even when at rest and he’s thinking about him slipping up in a fight. Stede’s plying him with herbal teas and feeding him several small meals throughout the day, he’s noticed Izzy can’t stomach much anymore, how he’s getting weaker by the day because of it.

He leaves after Lucius catches him having another fit. A bad one. He says he’s going to get the captains but Izzy begs him not to. ‘Not yet,’ he lies, ‘I’ll tell them myself but. Just. Give me some time.’ Lucius begrudgingly agrees, gives him two days. ‘And if you haven’t told them by then I’m going to do it myself and you can thank me later.’ Izzy leaves that night.

He shouldn’t be surprised, when he finds Calico Jack in some seedy bar at the nearest port he can reach, though he is. ‘Thought you were dead.’ He finds himself relieved he’s not, its nice to have a familiar face around if he’s gonna die here. (He knows he’s dying. Not immediately, he’s got more fight in him than that, but. Its coming on the horizon and he knows it. Like he knows a storm eventually follows a red dawn.)

Jack eyes him, calculating, never as drunk as he pretends to be. Izzy doesn’t know what he sees but he breaks into his usual grin and says, ‘Nah, still got - what is it - four? Four lives left. Take more than some crazy bird’s cursed cannon ball to take down Calico Jack, babydoll.’ If it were anybody else, Izzy would be bristling at the nickname, but he’s long since resigned himself to being called things like that from Jack. Jack loses his easy grin though and adds ‘You look a bit like death fuckin warmed over though, fuck happened to you?’ There’s genuine care in his tone and it reminds Izzy so much of Ed and Stede and, thank fuck Jack seems to notice because Izzy’s slapping a hand over his mouth and Jack is taking his arm and they barely make it to the shitty little room Jack’s occupying before the petals start spilling out. Jack holds him through the fit, its nice. Izzy almost regrets when its over because Jack sets him down on the bed and steps back, fixes him with a look he’s too exhausted to decipher. ‘Fuck.’ He says, eventually. ‘Think we’re gonna need a drink for this.’ The alcohol burns his tender throat but he knows Jack is gonna get him to talk anyway and its easier with the rum so he drinks. And he talks.

Jack doesn’t call him an idiot but its strongly implied. Izzy doesn’t know what he expects him to do, its not as if he chose this. He doesn’t call him an idiot though, instead he. Takes care of him? Its odd, he knows Jack isn’t as callous and heartless as he pretends to be, knows he’s actually got pretty good bedside manners in fact (There’d been a time before all the legend and everything after when they were all sailing together, they’d lost their medic during a raid and Jack stepped up. He was no doctor but he knew enough to keep everyone from dying til they go someone new. He also had a child and Izzy knew, for all that he was regularly absent from their life, he wasn’t an absent father. He knew how to care for people.), but it surprises him nonetheless to have it turned towards him. Like it matters to him that Izzy is as comfortable as he can be, given the circumstances.

Izzy manages to be up and around most days but they’re growing fewer. Lacking much better to do (he’s never been good at sitting idle) he follows Jack around when he can manage to get out of bed. On days where he can’t Jack still goes out, Izzy wonders why, he mostly just drinks and fucks around, its hardly as if he can’t do that here with Izzy. He supposes he must not make for very good company, sorry state he’s in. Still.

He’s more than a bit annoyed that it takes him hacking up even more flowers after Jack leaves one morning, with a ‘Be back sometime this evening Babydoll, I got something for you,’ to realize. ‘Fuck’s sake,’ he rasps, staring down at the mound of three distinct types of petals. He’s so tired. He’ll clean it up later, promises himself he’ll be up before Jack gets back to clean them up.

He dreams of warm hands, fond smiles, soft touches, and tender voices and wakes coughing up more and more flowers. He can’t breathe. Tears sting his eyes, from the pain in his throat and his lungs, at the thought of being alone at the end like this. He spares a brief thought towards how Jack will react, coming back this evening to find him gone. Wonders how Stede would react. Edward. Still more flowers.

The door bursts open and Izzy doesn’t have the air or the energy to startle. Jack. Jack is there and he looks panicked. And there’s Stede behind him. And Edward. Somehow Izzy finds the air to let out a hysterical little laugh, it comes out more of a gasp. Must have died already, he thinks, how else could they all be here, as though his thoughts summoned them.

‘Izzy!’ He’s not sure which of them is calling him, his vision is starting to go spotty and his ears are ringing. Maybe none of them, maybe its a trick of his desperate, dying mind. There’s hands on him, warm and soft and. Instinct tells him to fight, he can’t see who’s touching him, he knows he needs to fight but. He’s so tired. He can’t see but he feels his eyes slip shut.

‘Izzy, I love you.’

Nothing.

#the dork is being a dork #the dork does a fic #apparently #izzy hands #edward teach #stede bonnet #jack rackham #uh #stackedhands #gentlejizzed #im not sure what the agreed upon ship name is tbh #izzy/ed/stede/cj #he wakes up afterward to some very angry worried faces #they're all crying and telling him they love him talking over each other #lucius is also there crying telling him he's a fucking idiot and he should have listened to him earlier #jack put 2 and 2 together to realize izzy was sick over ed and stede so when he went out without izzy he was tracking them down #as best he could without actually leaving trying to get the message to them that izzy was dying over them and 'if you dont get your sorry #fucking asses here before he does and fix this then i'm gonna fuckin kill yall myself' #naturally they were already looking for izzy and they booked it when word reached them #real talk i have no idea where this came from i was just struck by the thought #izzy hands‚ the one man repressed and stupid enough to almost die from hanahaki over THREE people at once #i hope its obvious that they all do love him and he's just really fucking stupid about it

[frankensaint]

Alma Bonnet; Pirate in Training

1/2

At age 15, Alma Bonnet decides she’s going to be the greatest pirate that has ever lived. The crew of the Revenge try their best to help with that.

#ofmd #our flag means death #alma bonnet #ofmd stede bonnet #ofmd edward teach #the crew of the revenge #alma bonnet; pirate in training #🪦 #anyway. pirates alma bonnet #sorry horror mutuals for the pirate content #in my world alma is like: I will kill if I must. I’m 100% fine with others killing #it’s not her first choose but it is the second #also Izzy is fond of her bc she’s ‘more of a pirate’ than Stede was #so he’s like ‘I’m going to help you become a great pirate to spite ur dad and also I think your Ed’s kid as well #‘so he should have a great pirate kid. no kid of his his going to be shit with a sword. fuck you stede bonnet’ #my art

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

throwback to when someone got mad and blocked me for ranting in the tags of their post abt how making stede nice to izzy for the sake of steddyhands or stizzy content is ooc (which is totally fair, i didnt have to go off on their post, i probably shoud've just left them alone) but like

this is the HARMLESS thing i get mad abt. this is literally me being annoyed and petty over something stupid. i rant abt it bc it's nice to rant abt something the fandom does that annoys me but isn't like, actually a big deal. i dont ship stizzy or steddyhands or anything so it's not like i'm looking for in-character fics abt those ships and getting mad i cant find them. i'm not dying on this hill, i'm just standing on it yelling for a while until i get bored

#txt #mine #og #ofmd fandom crit #stede bonnet #izzy hands #steddyhands #stizzy #the real problem i have with stizzy content is i just dont care about it at all. #if ur gonna do it tho i feel like u should do stede justice?? #like a GENUINE enemies to lovers not ''stede decides to pamper izzy for no reason even tho he hates izzy so fucking much'' #however. my real problem with steddyhands content is the fics that make ed more violent/abusive than he is in canon #and also all the fics that brush off ed's trauma for the sake of coddling and babying izzy #like oh we're ignoring the protagonist of color to focus on the feelings of the white antagonist?? lmao alright. i see you. #and i DO talk abt these things. ive talked abt them a LOT #but it's nice sometimes to just. focus on and be mad abt something stupid #stede bonnet is a bITCH and he HATES IZZY HANDS #if u make him nice to izzy right off the bat im like Who The Fuck Are You And What Have You Done To Stede Bonnet #this is a personal pet peeve i dont think this is problematic or anything it just mildly annoys me. which is FINE!!! #ppl like different things it does not actually matter if i think u have bad taste. u probably think i have bad taste! it's Literally Fine.

[dickfuckk]

What characters from ofmd are going to have the cliche “waking up next to each other screaming” moment

#ofmd #our flag means death #i feel like lucius and izzy would be a popular opinion here #but honestly lucius and Jim would be hilarious (if jim and olu are poly idk) #ohhh stede & izzy but they didn’t actually fuck there is a completely reasonable reason for why they woke up next to each other #but they don’t remember that reason #they would both be so fucking furious about it and lucius (knowing the Truth) wouldn’t tell them shit lmaoo #idk why i feel like frenchie and roach could have this moment too but they should

[beastpyrate]

idk just something about the way izzy bargained ed's freedom into his hands in exchange for giving stede to the royal navy without stopping to think about the fact that he was bargaining ed's freedom into his hands within the context that ed is a person of color ,

#listen the way they act in that scene. it's subtle but the navy is clearly like. #'he's yours now' #and ed should get to be mad/sad abt it i think #threads after the privateering academy where ed comes back #and basically goes 'yeah you were right about stede iz but also you realize you bought me like a fucking slave you fucking dick' #like i know. i know izzy would not have made that connection at all so dusvsievi #wishlist. #racism // #& izzy.

[arsenicflame]

whenever izzys pissed at ed he goes around muttering about how he 'should have gone with sam, at least he was pretty'

(he does it because he knows it'll get to ed far more than anything else he could possibly say- eds need to be the prettiest princess at the party is infamous and had started at least one fight that is still talked about to this day)

#eds just fucking seething in the background like 'i was pretty!!! i was!!!! i am pretty aren't i pretty stede!!!! tell izzy hes wrong!!!!' #hes so distracted by the pretty thing he misses the whole first bit #back in my shitposting era #izzy who experiences a minor inconvenience under ed and immediately goes to 'i should have married sam' is my favourite silly izzy #nyxtalks #ofmd #izzy hands #israel hands

[shapelytimber]

Calypso and the Pink Unicorn's pirate drag show !!!!!

[PRINT] - [COMMISSIONS]

Wee john served so hard it should be illegal 16 dead countless injured, I am dead Calypso was so hot

Process (and my french rant on why I hate the choice of la vie en rose) below vvv

Final without the text

Rough colors

Sketch !

Sorry english people, but what follows is too french an opinion to voice in english (I'll sum it up for u in the end <3)

Ok alors je suis désolé, Con o'Neill chante vraiment très bien ca n'a rien avoir avec sa performance, mais vraiment la vie en rose c pas possible. Le man est sur les champs Elysées a me vendre des tours Eiffel en plastique jpp- Franchement pipe et jambe de bois ca serai mieux passer. Ou les demons de minuit !!!!pourquoi pas les demon de minuit ?????? Chanson hyper connu française. Ok c moins cucu que la vie en rose, mais bonus point plus kinky (je pensais jamais decrire les demons de minuit comme etant kinky mais here we are-)

Ou juste n'importe quoi d'autre-

(And words of wisdom from my evil advisor @quijicroix : légende vivante (de Lorenzo) ça va avec tout. Ou une chanson triste de jul (pas bande organisée, tu peux pas ken dessus). Après tout le monde déteste la police ou nik le front national c les chansons les plus romantiques que je connaisse. Y a santiago aussi, avec le gros mat la. Les trois mâts, pour le steddyhands.)

Tout sauf la fucking vie en rose pitier (meme si, encore une fois, Con o'Neill la chante vraiment bien)

Welcome back english people ! To sum it up : la vie en rose is a french song for tourists that set up a fight or flight reaction in every native speaker. I'm glad people enjoyed this, but I cannot describe the cringe and disappointment I felt when they decided to have him sing this song- (even tho he sings it beautifully (which is part of the disappointment))

They are SO MUCH love songs in french, why this one.

PS : at this point (ep7) I don't know why Stede is still bothering with Ed "I'm hitting the banks didn't tell him which one" teach, when Izzy hands is right there ????? Sir please open your eyes

#I've never felt so validated by a show in my life #eat shit izzy haters !!!!!! How does it feel to loose this hard ?? hehehe #If you saw me post this with a huge typo in the title #No u did not #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #izzy hands #wee john feeney #wee john ofmd #izzy hands ofmd #drag show #drag queens #ofmd s2 ep6 #pirates #digital painting #illustration #art #my art #digital art #fanart #ofmd fanart #israel hands #prints

[appleteeth]

I expressed this in an reply to this post, but I wanted to expand on it.

When we're talking about the toxic vibe Ed brought to the ship, with the endless raids where the loot isn't even divided amongst the crew (worse, it's being thrown overboard) so this is all for naught, it's like Ed has created his own purgatory.

"[We're] never going back to land. No. We're gonna sail, rob, raise hell forever, and ever, without end."

And I keep thinking of what Ed said to Stede in s1e4 when hounded for a solution to a life-threatening situation:

"Well you wanted to be Blackbeard. This is what it's like."

But now, it's Ed saying to Izzy:

"Well you wanted me to be Blackbeard. This is what it's like."

How far down the line Izzy begins to regret (or even if he thinks he should shoulder the blame at all) is irrelevant - the fact is Izzy wanted this. He tried to have the man Ed loved executed and when that didn't pan out and he left, Izzy threatened Ed so he'd become Blackbeard again. He knew Ed was miserable as Blackbeard, but it didn't matter, because Izzy had fallen in love with the image of Blackbeard.

Ed had said a number of times how miserable he was being Blackbeard after reaching the height of fame and infamy, to the point where he didn't even need to plan a raid. He was so excited to meet Stede because this was someone trying a different way of pirating, for better or worse.

So now that Stede is gone and Ed feels like there was no escape from the persona he has created, he's here telling Izzy and the crew that this is what it's like.

It's feeling trapped and waiting to drown. It's the same plan executed over and over and again and again. It's not putting any fucking imagination into it. It's fucking boring.

The fact is, Ed was already in purgatory long, long before he was nearly killed.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #edward teach #blackbeard #stede bonnet #izzy hands