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liberalfartsdegree · 3 years

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seeing a number of people here and elsewhere talk about NBC’s H*annibal series in terms of trans politics with largely 2 main sub-themes: 1. that the relationship between the two central characters “feels” t4t and 2. that the story captures something “trans” in the way that it deals with social ostracism, violence, and (ostensibly) the relationship between creation and destruction.

To the first, I’ll say that I too am not immune to pointing at characters on TV and saying “that’s trans” for fun, and it can be fun to look at villains for that moment because its satisfying or whatever.

But to the second, and the way in which it connects to the first, I’m profoundly sad about the way that it sounds like people are connecting to it. The article I’ve seen a lot of people float is about “creation through destruction” focalized through the writer’s experience of their top surgery and DIY piercing/tattooing experiences. I guess I’m struggling with the contiguity that’s established between those practices, and the kind of “self-making” (which isn’t always non-violent) that trans people often go through with the kind of violence on that show. Full disclaimer, I had to turn it off--I couldn’t bear to “read around” the way that psychological abuse and cruelty was the only way to express needs and desires, not to mention the unmitigated gore of the show I found very challenging.

It reminds me of my experience of reading Nietzsche--which the show references explicitly. The afterlife of Nietzsche has a weird multivalent presence. On face, Nietzsche is a violent racist, misogynist, anti-semite, white-supremacist, etc. and his philosophy explicitly and repeatedly invokes violence in every manifestation as a means of accessing and reinforcing power. However, in reading Nietzsche, ESPECIALLY in “enlightened” contexts with other readers (who I respect and trust! I’m talking about smart people doing good faith readings) there is an explicit desire to recover Nietzsche--to say “well, but his method” or “yes, and his structure of thinking is still useful.” I can’t fully reject this approach either! If nothing else Nietzsche developed a genealogical method that was instrumental in the kinds of reading that I care about. But The real task is’t to stop there, it can’t be to stop there, because we have to hold in our mind the fact that these meanings we can read in the text are co-constituted by the most repugnant and violent imaginings possible.

Looking at the moment that hannibal is having, my first thought was a question--why are so many people who I would like to consider myself in community with (young AFAB trans people) finding solace in this show that I can’t bear to look at? The article (which I’m not linking deliberately because I am reflecting, not trying to start discourse) seems to be in good faith--I fully believe the writer finds immense power in what they called the “creation from destruction” they read in the text. There was a slip in the discussion though--the writer saw the cutting into of their own body reflected more in the psyches of Hannibal and Will Graham instead of the actual destroyed bodies depicted on screen. I think that’s super interesting if deeply sad: the body was externalized to the dead bodies on the show, while the mind was transposed into the cerebral lead characters.

I don’t care to psychoanalyze that too much. Like, is it because AFAB trans people I’ve seen tend to connect with stories about the externality of bodies as a way to process dysphoria and lived experiences of misogyny etc? Sure maybe, but I think that kind of symptomatic reading strikes me as almost self-indulgent (that old tumblr meme about ‘some people need murder to cope’ comes to mind).

I guess I’m just seeing a confluence of something here--and I don’t know how to name it without spending more time on this than I need to--which comes down to a sense that the body is a vehicle for psychological distress and that modification (”creation out of destruction”) of the body is reparative, held at the same time that the body is only ever external to the mind, and seeing violence done to bodies is ok as long as it creates something for the mind seeing it.

And that’s just not true!!!! I mean like, everyone’s reading and life experience is different and there’s no one way to “be” trans and I’m not trying to prescribe a way of being for anybody. But like reading Nietzsche, taking that message out of that show seems to ignore the horrific, repugnant violence which is its precondition. I think it’s essential to see the elision between the violently dismembered bodies in the show and the creation/destruction of Will Graham (and I’m not even getting into the psychological violence Hannibal does against him which is nightmare-inducing). Transposing that onto the self seems to miss that key slippage in the show between “bodies that matter” (thanks judy) and the ones that don’t. Taken in real life, either the person’s own body becomes the site of this violence (as happened in the article) or the violence becomes externalized to an Other who matters even less than the person doing this reading (wherever abjection settles itself--from t*kt*k it seems like these readers are nb AFAB people who are trying to negotiate their own expressions of gender within their attachment to femininity who often direct this need for violence against “masculine women” whatever that means)

ive spent way too long on this idk just like what would it be like to experience your dysphoria as contiguous with your experience of yourself and with your embodied experience and recognize the urge to violence as predicated on a construction of something abject, and to instead reject that and start over from a place of care

(and im not subposting at you @ keneinahora if you see this--of course I’d love to hear your thoughts if you want to share them, but this isn’t intended as a weird passive-aggressive callout. I hope that it’s clear from writing this that I’m not addressing any single individual and the value that media has on an individual scale).

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sadisim · 5 years

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Coming full circle: 2 years later

I want to start off this post by saying that this is no tea, shade, drama, subpost or whatever other name you want to find for this. This is my most sincere and last message that I will post on my blog. This is why I want to apologize in advance for the ridiculous length of this and I want every reader to be considerate, understanding, open and as objective as they possibly can in this matter.

I will not tolerate any hate sent towards me or the person I am about to mention nor any curious anons asking to “spill the tea” or anything of that nature. If you have any questions my inbox is always open and you are free to directly message me to discuss further. ^_^ /)

Now that we got that out of the way... I will tell you all a little story about my relationship with Frankie (gruesim or simplyimaginarypeople, however you want to call her)

If any of y’all simblr veterans know me for a long time, you surely know I’ve been here for about 6 years or so. I joined this website when I was around 13 years of age, and naturally as any 13 year old I immediately looked up to people who were more talented than me. One of those very people was Frankie herself. I respected her highly, admired her for all her hard work, discipline, talent for meshing from the very beginning and I am extremely thankful to her for all the help she has offered me throughout the years.

I wanted to be like her. I wanted to mesh and have something to give to Simblr. I wanted to become popular and cool and constantly compared myself to her. Like any teenager would when they admire someone older than them.

You can imagine I grew up with time and I became less and less of a child, maturing and forming my own opinions etc. But I was still pretty gullible and easy to fool back then. So I blindly trusted Frankie and supported her in everything she did, no matter what other people around me were telling me about her. Above all I considered her a friend. A very close one that is. But I am never sure what she considered me to be. I don’t blame her though, I was pretty stupid and annoying when she knew me back then so I don’t mind it at all. However I wish that she had explicitly told me instead. I was always supportive and I remember all of our chats ran dry most of the time with me constantly asking her how she’s doing, admiring and supporting her and her being very distant and cold. I remember at some point she mentioned she cares for me as a friend but I felt like at the time that she didn’t truly mean it. I never knew if she were like this just with me or if she was like that with everyone. But she was absolutely impossible to approach on my end. At least that’s what a teenager me thought at that time. I can be completely wrong about this. And that’s fine.

Growing up more and more I came to terms with the fact that maybe she just disliked me for some reason I didn’t know. Maybe I was too young for her to be friends with, maybe we had a communication barrier of sorts. So I slowly drifted away…running from my problems instead of confronting her.

That was my biggest mistake and fault.

I wish I had the power then that I have now, to confront people directly and tell them how I feel with no filters or sugarcoating.

But back then sugarcoating was the safest form of escape for me. There is nothing sweeter than pretending everything is okay when it isn’t, just to get away from an uncomfortable situation. All of y’all socially anxious people definitely know what I mean by this.

Sugarcoating was my second and most fatal mistake of all within our relationship.

I fully assume my wrongdoings and past mistakes and I want to let you know that I have realized what I did not do right back then. If I could turn back time I would do something entirely different, but that’s not possible. We learn from our past, don’t we? That’s what I’ve been slowly doing in the past few years. ^_^

My falling out with Frankie happened around two years ago. I had started a Patreon for my writing combined with some sims ( pose making, skin making etc )She was clearly not happy about it. She was one of the first people who disagreed with me on it. I appreciated her input and never told her that it bothered me so that she didn’t think that I was “one of those people” who ask for money for content so I just sugarcoated everything as I always did. I remember her saying that she “is not a fan of Patreon as long as it’s not against EA” which I 100% agree with, I never intended to lock cc behind a paywall. I would just release stuff later on, probably in 2-3 weeks’ time. However I remember very clearly that she stated how “it would be still exclusive and that it’s no longer a donation instead it’s buying”

I really didn’t like that she was saying those things to me, I remember feeling disappointed. So because I didn’t want to anger her because I really looked up to her and I feared we might fight, I took down my Patreon and got a Ko-fi instead. I’m extremely thankful to everyone who donated, it’s helped me lots! She seemed to be happy about Ko-fi and i was happy i could please her and solve the problem. I never knew why she hated Patreon so much, to me Ko fi was exactly identical to Patreon. Just another name for donations.

This was the first time that Frankie’s shot a bullet in the way I viewed her. At that time she was starting to gain a lot of influence in the community because of her hard work and dedication and she was leading a very public campaign against Patreon. She’s said some things back then which heavily contrast her current views on Patreon, donations or cc locked behind a temporary wall.

She’s said multiple times, publicly and privately how she “hates everything exclusive” but as years passed by I sometimes saw her on my dashboard, despite not following her on tumblr. I couldn’t help but notice how she seemed to me that she helps those very close to her only and seems to not bat an eye about patreon/timed exclusive content to some people I’ve seen interacting with her– Listen, I know that this might come across as harsh or salty but I mentioned before that I don’t think she’s seen me as a friend. I was not part of her inner circle, nor did we have very deep talks about many things in particular. It just really hurt me to see this happening, while behind closed doors, two years ago she’d bashed me for wanting to make a patreon instead of just asking for donations (it was the same exact thing to me…)

While this subject is still up I’d like to mention the drama that took place a bit earlier this month. The whole hair thing. I have very hardly abstained from saying anything or intervening within the drama because i have biased opinions about her based on my past experience with her. So I didn’t want to come across as harsh, rude or disrespectful to her because of my feelings towards her and didn’t want to portray her in a biased light. The people who know, know what my opinion on the whole drama was. It’s unnecessary to tell you what I think about it since it’s no longer around. But I’d just want to say that for me it felt like all of her constant contradictions were falling apart and truth was starting to get to the surface. I felt like this situation was going to teach her a lesson, and I surely hope she’s learned. She’s not a horrible person. She’s never had malicious intent. I just think that she never really knew quite well how to handle social situations. This isn’t the first time Frankie’s taken a break from simblr.

Perhaps her views have changed over the past few years. I know mine did a lot, so I don’t blame her if she no longer believes in the things she’s said before. People change all the time for the better or worse and it’s not something unusual. My problem here is that she’s never quite explained why she’s changed her opinions, nor did she justify her behaviour towards me at the time and other people involved who had the same experience with her. I just sort of wish that we had gotten some sort of apology, or an explanation from her after a while…anything would have made us happy. But she never did, so we moved on and kept on ignoring her, praying that we don’t ever have to interact again while watching her from afar doing things that were sort of questionable and didn’t rub us in the right way at all. But I kept silent because people support and love her, and I didn’t want to stir drama. It would have meant setting a hornet’s nest on fire and jumping right into it. Which is why I’ve never gone public about this in the first place. I just wanted to make sure that the heat of the drama was gone before i posted this. I felt like it would have been unfair to her to ‘attack’ her with this during the whole thing.

The next time that I started getting off vibes from her was the whole Simscord thing. She joined us, I remember that clearly, she’d post in the sims 3 channel now and then but she would most of the time be in the help channel. She’d never ignore anyone and seemed to become some helper that everyone’s seen her as. So everyone went to her for help, which is what she’s always done for the community: help. It’s not easy work to help others solve their problems, which is why I respect her for it. However I don’t understand why she’s left Simscord and then proceeded to tell me she was ‘constantly ignored’ and ‘only seen as a helper’ by others. And then she proceeded to turn her blog into a help blog for every single question that every single anon needed but NEVER complained about how ignored she is or how she’s only seen as a helper then. She’s sort of criticised Simscord on multiple times before, very passively aggressively with comments like “Why does Simscord have exclusive tutorials? Isn’t that sucky for the people who don’t like joining public chats ?” I eventually posted all the ‘exclusive tutorials’ a bit later that i wrote for Simscord onto my blog. they are still up and you can find them. This did not really make me happy when the whole SSFF thing started taking off and she did not admit that she was blocking access to cc from people who were too socially anxious to do any of the challenges. But we’ll get to that later. That’s just one of the things I can remember … again I’m saying this once more: she might have changed her view since then so I don’t blame her if she thinks differently. I just blame her past self for the way she’s acted in the whole thing. That’s all. It seemed to me that she’s never quite liked Simscord in the first place and kept trying to find ways to dismiss its usefulness. It’s always brought me down because us, the admins, were doing our best to keep Simscord alive, equal and fun to everyone whether they liked talking with us there or not. It felt like a blow to my self-esteem for the time and effort I’d put into Simscord as an admin. I know very well it’s not perfect and it can’t be. Admins are humans just like everyone. We can’t force people to act a certain way just because we want to.

The next time we had a conflict it was “fatal” for your relationship. It was when we parted ways completely and haven’t spoken directly since. Here is where my biggest fault comes in: not confronting her and being straightforward about how she made me feel. She was angry with me because “I’d changed”. I was apparently “a different person” because I was starting to be myself more on my blog, stopping to sugarcoat things so much…I was trying my best to get out of my childish shell of agreeing with everyone just to avoid conflict and duck confrontation with people when we couldn’t agree. I remember receiving an anonymous message around that time from someone who told me that “I changed” . I was very saddened by the message, I remember I actually cried when I received it. I did not understand why that anonymous person saw me as ‘changed’. I was just being myself and trying to grow and shape and break free from the cute, innocent angel persona that I had created for myself. Sorta like Miley when she had that crazy post Disney phase lol. Im joking now but it’s for real. Then I connected that anon message to her and I am still suspecting today that it might have been her, or someone from her inner circle but then again i could be wrong about this. She had also told me clearly how she “talked to other people who confirmed my change.” I never knew who these people were. Why were they talking behind my back? Why were they not directly telling me into my face that “I changed” if they knew me so well? I highly doubt they knew me at all. Or perhaps there were no “other people”. Perhaps she had made that up just to add to her argument. I’ll never know.

I supported her in the whole drama with The Together Store because I was still admiring her for her work and passion and I still refused to see the doubtful things that people were accusing her of doing. I remember very clearly how I messaged her when she announced her hiatus, supporting her and telling her I’m there for her, not even willing to listen to The Together Store’s side of the story (If any of you guys are reading this please reach out to me, I can’t remember your urls. I’d like to apologize personally!) and she just told me that she doesn’t need my support, she’s not bullied and she doesn’t need help. That put a knife in my chest. I know she was just being angry in that moment. She eventually apologized for her harsh words but I never told her how they made me feel then. Another mistake on my end. I kept adding and adding to the idea of supporting her and she simply said that “she needs people to change the way they act”. I kept adding fuel to the conversation but it went nowhere. In one of the last messages from her I remember she explicitly told me that “It’s attitudes like mine that made her leave” and after that I could take no more blows. I knew then deep down my heart that I did not like her attitude but I decided to simply be nice, continue to wrongly sugarcoat the words I wanted to tell her, block her and move on. She was constantly adding in how she saw me as some sort of… Simblr Leader? I never understood what she meant by that. Never. “I don't respect the way you are handling your position as a community leader. Its been super sad to watch such a kind and sweet person get influenced by all this and I wish it were different” - This is a direct quote from her. I have yet to understand what this all means today. I don’t know what “Influenced by all” means. I have no idea where she got the idea that I am or was a community leader by any means. Surely, I used to have much more influence two years ago. I had thousands of followers, talked to hundreds of people. But I was not a leader. I surely didn’t consider myself that way nor ever said i am one.

I know I handled the situation terribly. Yet again I take complete responsibility for my mistakes and I wish I could gather the courage to reach out to her instead. But we parted ways, by agreeing to disagree and moved on with our lives. I’ve been avoiding her from my dash actively by blocking her username and just stayed away as much as possible. I thought about it many times, to message her…to reach out and talk and be open about my mistakes. But I’ve always gotten a bit anxious the way she might understand this and respond. I know she’s had a distant tone when talking to me before and i did not want to get anxious. So i just hoped i’d get the chance to talk about this someday.

So in the years that came after that I watched her expand, grow and shape her simblr, her projects. She started becoming the very thing that she swore to destroy (very poetic but im making a reference to that one meme. Yall edgelords know what im talkin about). There was SimblrSimplyForFun that pissed me off with the idea of exclusivity that she was so aggressive towards me about but she ended up doing herself- i remember people talking about how they don’t like the idea of challenges and interacting with others just to get ‘a treat’. She was even sent anonymous questions about this very matter: what are socially anxious people going to do? We can’t just interact with others like normal people. I don’t remember her exact response but I think it was something that brushed off the anon. Then came the drama with the hairs. It was the last drop for me. I wanted to let it all go. It’s been awful to hold this in for so long. She took it upon herself to change an entire community by implementing all these projects, which in idea are super fun and cool and really help connect people, but she was doing all the work by herself and kept on burdening herself with every challenge and piece of cc released. She had hundreds and hundreds of projects, videos, tutorials and cc released in the span of two years that were monstrously over encumbering her with so much responsibility to “change simblr” that she got swallowed in this dark pit of becoming a vessel for change and it ended up overwhelming her to the point where she left. That’s just how I see things from the outside. It doesn’t mean I’m right and you can contradict me on this, I’d gladly listen. She’s done so much for us all, a help that nobody else was willing to give and I am thankful for all her dedication and time spent doing these things. But reading her goodbye message made me realize how she’s seen Simblr more as a job than anything else. She was becoming the “leader” she was trying to enforce on me but it was no easy job. To me Simblr is fun, it’s a hobby. It’s somewhere I come to see creativity and catch up with old mutuals. Nothing more than that. If i can help people i definitely will, if it’s within my knowledge and free time. I don’t want my kindness/selflessness be seen as some sort of sacrifice i make as a “leader of the community”. That’s just my opinion. I feel like she really deserved a break and some time away to clear up her mind, relax and think. I hope she finds the peace she seeks!

I have stayed put form talking about this. As soon as the whole drama with the hairs got out I knew it was gonna be a big blow on her blog. I just didn’t want to add fuel to the fire and that’s why I am posting this only now.. I just wanted to tell my story that I kept in for two long years and that I’ve struggled to come to terms with until now.

If you’re reading this Frankie, I’m sorry about the mistakes I made and that I didn’t tell you how I truly felt. It’s probably late, but it’s never too late to apologize for my behavior.

I understand people might not agree with me or my side of the story, that’s totally fine. I just wanted to clear things up because I have many people here I talk to that have asked me before why I don’t interact with Frankie or avoid her. I hope that this explanation is everything you need to clear things up ^_^ Anyone who I’ve personally hurt, attacked or wronged is free to unfollow me or block me away, that is totally fine and acceptable, or perhaps if you want to talk about things I’m always here to listen and discuss.

Ever since this thing happened it’s left me pretty bitter about making new friends here. Which is why I’ve just set a limit to myself to just remain ‘mutuals’ with many people and nothing more or less. It’s why I’ve been colder and colder with every year and refused to do many collabs or ships or whatever. I just have matured and grew up and I do not have much time anymore for any of these things. My IRL is full of problems that I am not willing to discuss here because they don’t concern anyone. I’ve come here just to tell my story and that’s the last personal post I’ll probably ever make on my blog.

Thankyou all for reading this extremely long post and bearing with me!

#nonsims #personal

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exos-prteam-blog · 6 years

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How Kpopmeetblackwomen/kmusicblackwomen Got Popular

Omg so I always said I'd make a post regarding the history of that controversial tumblr and so today is the day! I was there when ole girl first made the tumblr and dipped when things got a little weird to me but I know why she got fans in the first place and how she's kept them. This is gonba be long so get Ready for some bulletpoints and tea!! (Cold old tea lmao)

* 2014-15 kpop tumblr was....rough...especially for black fans. Like kpop was as problematic as ever but people were coming for each other's throats for liking problematic idols, like people were acting like parents and police when it came to this. You reblogged a picture of Chanyeol??? You had atleast 2 people in your inbox wanting to know why you reblogged his picture. There were these headass "most unproblematic member in each group" lists going on lmao and there was this one person who said you were a "Baekhyun sympathizer" if you still liked the problematic lil fellow. Baekhyun has said some trashy shit HOWEVER making that parallel was doing the absolute fucking most, when someone says sympathizer you know you automatically think of Nazis. Oh! And there was also this trend of people subposting other people, telling them they don't love themselves and when they'd get called out on it, they'd backpeddle. Those people are just now admitting that the shade they threw was towards specific people.

* With that being said, the dominant black kpop tumblr was blackkpopfans and during that time it became less of a place where you could find out updates on comebacks and such and more so a place where people could list out their justified grievances towards antiblackness in kpop. The issue with that however was, it came to the point where people where beating dead horses and the environment there was very negative. Like it was multiple anons going on about how they hate gdragon or zico, which is fine, but it was 80% anons like that and 20% actual kpop content. And I think it got to the point where people were thinking like....well why are we even into kpop if it's gonna be like this???

* So that was the state of blackkpopfans and some reached out to the admins to say they didn't think the atmosphere was right and that it was really negative to which the admins replied it's not negative here, this is what our anons have to say. Which is where I side eyed the admins cuz they weren't being genuine nor truthful and they acted like the atmosphere was something they couldn't help which they most certainly could especially since they were the ones responsible for posting information about comebacks which for a while they hardly did and they often posted anons daily that literally said the same thing, like I'm telling you people were running over dead horses:old, old receipts. Also the black and teal or green color scheme was depressing and just made everything worse, it was so not appealing lmao but maybe that was just me. I personally think, if the tumblr was a black kpop fans anonymous tumblr, like the one we have now I believe, I'd cut the admins alot of slack but they called themselves a place where black fans could gather, get information on debuts and comebacks, and discuss a multitude of things good and bad, so that's why they get a side eye.

* So overall, things weren't "fun" over at blackkpopfans. It was actually getting boring too cuz like I said all the repetitiveness and lack of new information. And so guess who toostie rolls onto tumblr in 2015??? That's right, Kpopmeetblackwomen. And guess what, people FLOCKED to her why? Cuz it was like a breath of fresh air.

(THE IMPORTANT STUFF LMAO)

*Now in the very very beginning, Kpopmeetblackwomen wasn't "bad" persay. The admin, at the time, like I know she's a lil dust bunny now, but INITIALLY, admin came across as very very sweet. She was nice to all her visitors and when people asked her why she created the tumblr she said she just wanted another resource/outlet for blackkpopfans to have. She didn't think it was good that blackkpopfans was all there was especially considering what was going on over there. I think, in the beginning, she wanted black kpop fans to still have a place to enjoy themselves, cuz in the beginning she didn't bother blackkpopfans at all. So you know, everything was innocent and nice enough in the beginning. The theme was pink, white, and a lil bit of yellow? Nice and bright, the layout was attractive, things were tagged properly. People talked about how excited they were for certain groups comebacks. Comeback info for groups was actually posted. It was just a welcoming place. Along with discussions of new releases there were also fans submitting legitimate fanaccounts, and alot of them came with video or footage. And that aspect was fun too, it was nice seeing black fans interact with their favorite groups, especially at the time where I think alot of us were kinda scared due to the known antiblackness and the subsequent environment on tumblr. So people posted how they met so and so at the airport or restaurant and posted selfies and I swear no one was being cringe, we, the fans, were just enjoying thus exchange of information. Also, there people actually were still discussing the problematic behavior of some idols, some people said outright they didn't like a certain person and it was cool, so it felt like a good balance. Though there were one or two situations in the beginning that made me sideye a follower, I brushed it off cuz the comment seemed silly and extra at most..lmao if only I knew.

*So where did things go wrong? From my point of view...I'd say after like the first 6 months???? Maybe, but after a while the fanaccounts dried up, naturally so cuz groups don't come to the u.s or Europe that frequently anyways. But when the submission of legitimate fanaccounts dried up, the admin and some of her followers began to act a little weird. Not only that but she stopped talking about new kpop and I think that's when the atmosphere legitimately shifted for the worse. Yes were there some people I sideyed before it yeah but I can pinpoint exactly when that space went to a point of no return: when the fan submissions were few and far between and the discussions became less relevant to kpop and more so to how (insert kpop idol or group) just looooves him some chocolate. Yeah it got really messy really quick.

* So after that shift I kinda bounced cuz I just wasn't comfortable interacting with her or her tumblr when I saw what it became and I actually think a good bit of us left after a while. Lmao after I left tho, everytime I popped my head in to see what was going on, things just kept getting worse and soon the admin and her minions started attacking not only blackkpopfans admins but also girls who contacted her requesting their fanaccounts and/or pictures be removed due to the blatant fetishism going on. One prominent incident was when those two sisters, can't remember their names, but they were being harassed after they asked the admin to take down their video or pic of them meeting Zion T.

* I haven't checked on her at all really after those incidents that happened but I still see that she's still up to no good and she's as delusional as ever. Oh! Wait another thing she'd do is write fanfic fanaccounts but then not tell people it was fanfic so people were being tricked to believe those were actually fanaccounts until someone made her clarify. Whew chile. Now I see she's still busy with making bad photoshop edits.

* Overall I really hope she snaps out of it but I don't think I can truly forgive her for preying on the insecurities of young black girls and women who obviously were/are in need of validation. While I understand the desire to be desired, that's not the way to go and it ultimately ends up with hurt feelings and an even worse self esteem. I am glad black kpop tumblr is in a better place now where there's room and acceptance for laughter and lighthearted fangirling or what have you while also room to have tough discussions.

**side note- okay lil shade, not directed to any of my mutuals though, but lol some of yall who be dragging sis be knowing ALOT about what's going on over there lmao and I'm always wondering how you stay up to date on a person who's content you don't fuck with. Like I don't like ole girl and I hardly hear about her unless something really extra goes viral. Do you though, it's all love, I'm just teasing you lol**

#text #blackkpopfans #bkpf #black army #blackexofans #black kpop fans

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