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#tags r funny bc this is literally just me writing out my train of thought. this is what my freak ass brain looks like from inside
kingcervix · 10 months
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It's 3 am and I'm nauseous and I don't have a date tomorrow but I also don't NOT have a date tomorrow. It's platonic..but it might not be by the end of.it. if I have anything to say about it
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getofy · 3 years
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bakugo as your boyfriend would include...
request: what would dating bakugo be like?
gn!reader (but there are slight fem themes if you squint); fluff; headcanons; no spoilers
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character: bakugo katsuki
a/n: this goes out to my one & only <333. ilysm deku kinnie pls enjoy! also, @ bakugo simps i hope this feeds u well. he’s sm fun to write for. headcanons + a short playlist are under the cut.
*ty to my bakugo kinnie/simp friend for helping me write this. i appreciate u. A LOT of these ideas r hers!!
-
FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM SOUNDS LIKE:
01. TEENAGE DIRTBAG by WHEATUS
02. GUTTER GIRL by HFHW
03. BOYFREN by LOVE LEO
04. IN TOO DEEP by SUM 41
05. TOUNGES by THE FRIGHTS
06. R U MINE? by ARCTIC MONKEYS
-
katsuki is a very emotional person. he feels incredibly deep and profound things, but has trouble expressing it in a healthy manner. this being so, him as your s/o would consist of a lot of subtle displays of affection! such as...
-> SHOWING YOU HOW TO DO STUFF:
he’ll teach you small things about his hobbies. will 100% show you how to play the drums, mountain climb, etc.
literally you learn so much with him it’s insane. he claims it’s because he couldn’t stand dating an incapable person, but in reality it’s just because he likes feeling useful/needed HAHA.
-> TOUCHING YOU:
this man is lowkey super clingy...so he will always find a way to be physically close to you.
a BIG fan of putting his arm around your shoulder fs. don’t mention it to him though because he’ll IMMEDIATELY stop doing it.
-> LETTING YOU SIT ON HIS LAP:
if you’re comfortable with it, he’d adore it if you sat on his lap!! like fr if you walked up to him when he was lounging on the couch and did it this is how it would go...
“what’re you doing?”
“sitting down, why?”
he just stares and then grunts before going back to whatever he was doing
don’t let his indifference fool you, he is very pleased.
probably looked up at the ceiling and thought about it for an hour once you left
he thinks about you a lot
-> ALWAYS COOKING FOR YOU:
he pretends like it’s a nuisance, but it genuinely makes his day when you eat the stuff he prepares. literally if you’re hungry just ask him to make you smth and he’ll do it. he actually gets angry if you decide to cook without him.
one time, katsuki seemed really tired because of training and school. so you tried to make something for the both of you guys to enjoy together. it uh...didn’t go well...
“what are you doing?!”
“cutting vegetables...”
“no. you’re doing it all wrong. give me the knife.”
“excuse me??”
“GIVE ME THE KNIFE.”
you ended up giving him the knife
the meal was great!?? but he scolded you for like 30 minutes after PLS.
-> SHOWING YOU OFF:
he’s proud that you’re his s/o, so of course he’s gonna brag about you to EVERYONE.
it’s not overbearing or in an annoying way either. it’s moreso him talking about your accomplishments and stuff like that.
he literally only shows you off for his own benefit. NEEDS everyone to know how cool you and him both are.
it’s an ego thing.
i take back what i said abt it not being annoying. it’s a nuisance to everyone who ain’t you.
-> SITTING NEXT TO YOU:
like i said before, he needs to be close to you at all times. sooo he always sits next to you. no questions asked.
expect to see a pouting, petty katsuki if you decide to sit next to somebody that isn’t him.
“are you seriously mad that i sat next to deku and not you on the bus?!”
“‘COURSE IM MAD.”
“you’re impossible.”
“HUH??????”
-> LETTING YOU WEAR HIS CLOTHES:
PRACTICALLY CHUCKS HIS SHIRTS AND HOODIES AT YOU. LITERALLY JUST- PELTS YOU WITH HIS CLOTHES UNTIL YOU PUT THEM ON.
you took his hoodie without asking ONE TIME and now he’s hooked on seeing you in his clothing.
he’ll always pretend like he’s doing you a favor though.
gotta love how annoying he is! 
-> GIFT GIVING
i wouldn’t go as far to say that gift giving is his love language, but he’ll buy things that you bring up in causal conversation a whole lot.
he just kinda bashfully shoves the gift in your hands and watches as you fawn over it.
“awww! how’d you know??”
“you wouldn’t shut up about it.”
he loves seeing your pleased expression!! +100 boost to katsuki’s confidence.
-> HELPING YOU WITH ACADEMICS:
we ALL know how smart this man is.
he will 100% help you study for school if you’re struggling!
don’t expect him to go easy on you though.
if anything, he’ll probably be harder on you because he really wants to see you succeed.
he basically carries you through math
-> KNOWING MUNDANE FACTS ABOUT YOU:
i can see him knowing EVERYTHING about you. your birthday, your morning routine, your favorite snacks, your favorite songs, etc.
it doesn’t take a lot for him to remember this stuff either???
like, he thinks you’re unforgettable, so he just knows
-> WANTING TO IMPRESS YOU:
he wants you to know how cool he is so bad it’s laughable.
he’ll show off during training exercises FOR SUREEEE
bakusquad teases him abt it when he does lol they ALLL know how whipped he is for you
kirishima: wow, you’re really into it today bakugo!
denki: well (y/n) IS watching
bakugo: SHUT UP.
MISC HEADCANONS!
-> you enable him so much...like way too much. please get on that. someone needs to hold this stupid man accountable. he probably likes it when you scold him despite his protests so don’t be afraid to tell him off baby.
-> your approval makes his heart go $$/!/?!!!error??77776. like, even before you two started dating, he would ALWAYS feel flustered whenever you would compliment his outfits, fighting style, etc. now that you guys are dating, he still feels extremely dazed when you dote on him.
he’ll probably act super cocky about it though
“ ‘course i look good, idiot.” 
he’s trying his best to suppress the stupid smile trying to take over his face. eventually, he lets it out, and tbh everyone in 1A knows that it’s because of smth cheesy you told him.
he is SUCH a softie for you it HURTTSSSS GAHHHH!!
-> katsuki is a very protective boyfriend.
this goes for everything, but especially applies during intense situations.
will literally lay his life down for you without thinking twice about it. don’t fight me on this. it’s canon.
if you’re going on a dangerous mission, you BEST believe this man is tagging along with you.
if for some reason he can’t go, he’ll make it a point to stay up way past his bed time waiting for you to come back.
when katsuki chooses you over sleep just know that you’ve won at life.
he doesn’t see you as inferior in any way. he knows you can handle yourself, but he really wants to keep you safe bc if something bad happened to the love of his life he would be in shambles.
on a lighter note, if mineta bugs you, he’ll absolutely wreck him. will literally punt that grape boy into the next stratosphere.
also!! he’s not the type to care about what you wear. if you’re wearing smth a bit more revealing, the most he’ll say is that you look hot. literally is so unbothered.
he trusts you a lot so it’s like 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
protective ≠ possessive
-> dates w/ him are super all over the place! one weekend, you guys will just chill in his dorm and the next he’ll be laughing maniacally as he chases you down during an intense round of laser tag.
-> he’s big fan of competition, so he’ll turn everything into one.
let him win.
-> his hands are really sensitive because of his quirk, so if you kissed them he’d turn to mush.
im literally begging you to touch this man. help him. he is so touch-starved it’s not funny.
-> he runs hot so cuddles w him are so nice and comforting :(. will pull you in close and tight and NEVER let go.
in short, while dating katsuki definitely comes with it’s quirks, it’s a beautiful relationship. he respects you endlessly and will do anything to ensure your happiness. treat him right and he’ll do the same!!
have fun dating explosion boy!
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blossom-hwa · 3 years
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3racha cafe au ps? bc the one w the dancers was so funny
KASJDHG I’M GLAD YOU FOUND MY MEDIOCRE ATTEMPTS AT HUMOR FUNNY ANON <3 <3 ANYWAY I LIVE FOR 3RACHA BEING IDIOTS SO THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS IN, I HOPE YOU LAUGH AT IT!!!!
3-year anniversary drabble game: send me an NCT/WAYV/Stray Kids/The Boyz member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and  I’ll write a drabble for you!
I’M SO SORRY I HIT POST ON ACCIDENT WHEN I WASN’T DONE SO I HAD TO PRIVATE THIS SO I COULD FINISH IT HHHHHH
~
Title: Cafe Shenanigans
Pairing: no pairings, just 3racha being dumb
Triggers: a lot of cursing, suicidal jokes (purely jokes, if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please do not read this - it’s along the lines of like ‘pls kill me now’ but yeah)
~
quick clarification:
better than tony: chan
chingban: changbin
gremlin: jisung 
~
better than tony: changbin what have I told you about swearing in front of customers
chingban: not to do it
better than tony: then why did I hear you say shit when you knocked your head against the counter
gremlin: HOW DID CHANGBIN KNOCK HIS HEAD AGAINST THE OUCNTER EVEN HE’S NOT /THAT/ SHORT
chingban: I don’t exist for anything but pain
chingban: when will I stop being clowned for no reason
chingban: also I stooped down to get more syrup okay I wasn’t standing when I fucking hit my head
better than tony: you will stop being clowned when you learn the meaning of professionalism
gremlin: didn’t you lock yourself in the bathroom one time to send cat memes to minho
better than tony: THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT
chingban: pls let it go chan the guy just laughed okay
chingban: no harm done
chingban: well my dignity is in pieces
gremlin: can’t break something that never existed
chingban: watch me pour hot coffee down your throat while you scream in pain tiny sucker
gremlin: who’s calling me tiny
better than tony: kids please
chingban: ONE FUCKING CENTIMETER
better than tony: I'm the manager and they still won’t listen to me
better than tony: I'm giving up on life
gremlin: we’re right here you know
better than tony: did I say something wrong?
chingban: ooooo breaking out the punctuation
chingban: he’s serious today
better than tony: I'm always serious
gremlin: your cat memes say otherwise
better than tony: WILL YOU LET THAT GO
~
gremlin: if another bitch asks for a complicated-ass order, fucking soy latte with no foam or whatever the fuck
gremlin: I'm going to slit my throat in front of the cameras
gremlin: and my ghost will haunt this fucking cafe for the rest of time
chingban: aren’t there better things to do after you’re dead
chingban: like
better than tony: rejoice in the fact that you are no longer alive?
chingban: ^^
gremlin: no I just want to make sure I'm a pain in your asses even beyond the grave
chingban: a little bitch even in death, I see
gremlin: you got me !
better than tony: why do you have an extra space between your last word and the exclamation mark
gremlin: extra chaos
better than tony: as if your existence wasn’t chaotic enough already
chingban: just a suggestion
chingban: if you want to haunt us beyond the grave
chingban: team up with that little dude ji changmin across the mall at build a bear
gremlin: omg yes thank you for this lovely piece of advice
better than tony: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
better than tony: N O
better than tony: CHANGBIN WHY WOULD YOU GIVE HIM IDEAS
chingban: I need entertainment
chingban: and you getting scared shitless is entertainment
chingban: additionally if I'm the one providing the advice by the transitive property I'm not the one who gets pranked
gremlin: <3
better than tony: I should honestly fire both of you
better than tony: all you do is text at work
better than tony: swear in front of customers
better than tony: and leAVE HAIRPINS IN THE FUCKING SINK
gremlin: I APOLOGIZED FOR THAT
chingban: felix says minho threatens to fire him and hyunjin at least once every shift
better than tony: I should do the same
gremlin: nah you’re too soft for that
chingban: ^^
better than tony: I want to argue but I can’t and I hate it
gremlin: <3
chingban: <3
better than tony: maybe I'll be the one who slits his throat in front of the cameras
gremlin: no you won’t you’re too soft to haunt us beyond the grave
better than tony: you’re right I won’t haunt you
better than tony: I'll just enjoy being dead and not fucking alive and having to deal with you
chingban: ngl that sounds like a pretty sweet deal
gremlin: but haunting
chingban: no
gremlin: :(
better than tony: changbin look you’ve made him sad
chingban: I-
chingban: YOU STARTED IT
better than tony: <3
chingban: breaking news chan has the capacity for evil and I don’t like it
~
gremlin: in my defense I was left alone
better than tony: that doesn’t explAIN THE FUCKING FIRE IN THE R E F R I G E R A TO R
better than tony: HOW DO YOU EVEN SET FIRE TO A FUCKING REFRIGERATOR
chingban: I honestly wonder why chan hasn’t fired us yet
chingban: mostly jisung but also me
better than tony: A R E F R I G E R A T O R
gremlin: chan
gremlin: listen
gremlin: was this worse than ‘wow’
better than tony: .... 
chingban: nothing could be worse than wow
chingban: his gc name is proof
better than tony: FUCK
gremlin: okay cool thank you for agreeing 
gremlin: now
gremlin is typing...
chingban: the fuck are you typing 
chingban: a whole ass essay??
gremlin: if setting a fire in a refrigerator is still a less horrible mess than wow was, that means that chan can no longer yell at me for setting a fire in a refrigerator because he was one of the main contributors to the mess that wow was, meaning because he contributed to a bigger mess than the refrigerator fire, he is unable to yell at me because to do so would be hypocrisy because he committed a worse crime than I did
chingban: did that... did that really just fucking make sense
chingban: quick chan use your lawyering skills to find some loophole in this there’s no way jisung can be making sense
gremlin: okay fuck you
better than tony: your argument is invalid because you also contributed to wow
chingban: ROASTED
gremlin: fuck I really thought I had chan beat there for a moment
chingban: fat chance 
better than tony: OKAY AS PUNISHMENT
better than tony: NO MORE TEXTING GET BACK TO WORK
gremlin: yes papi
better than tony: oh my god I hate it here
~
gremlin: question
gremlin: if cookie monster entered the cafe and pointed a gun at me and told me to give him all of the cookies in the display case and the oven
gremlin: what should I do
better than tony: I 
better than tony: I don’t even know how to respond to this
chingban: give him the cookies wtf
chingban: where’s your sense of self-preservation
gremlin: flew away the first time I jumped out of a two-story window to avoid becoming ‘it’ in a game of tag in third grade
better than tony: that
better than tony: that explains so much
chingban: I feel like I should be surprised but I'm really not
chingban: that’s the most jisung thing I've ever heard of
gremlin: <3
gremlin: but back to my question
gremlin: what should I do
chingban: I literally said to give him the fucking cookies
better than tony: I agree with changbin
gremlin: but what if he gets greedy and asks for the cheesecake too
gremlin: and it’s my day to take home the leftover cake
better than tony: would you die for cheesecake???????????
gremlin: without a moment’s hesitation
chingban: the amount of brain cells I lost throughout this conversation
chingban: unfathomable
better than tony: I'm quitting my job
gremlin: no pls don’t who else will changbin and I bother during breaks
chingban: you say that kind of bullshit about cookie monster and cheesecake and then you go and say ‘changbin and I’ instead of ‘me and changbin’ like normal people?????????
gremlin: look you may have had a crusty ass English teacher but my English teacher was LIT and I'll have you know I would take a bullet for her
gremlin: the least I can do use proper grammar when it comes to common mistakes
gremlin: mistakes that plebs like you make
better than tony: this conversation has gone off the rails
chingban: a train wreck
gremlin: more like 15 train wrecks mashed into one
better than tony: just. pls get back to work
gremlin: not unless you promise not to fire yourself
better than tony: it’s?? not?? possible?? for?? me?? to?? fire?? myself??
chingban: he means quit
better than tony: oh
chingban: I speak fluent jisung
better than tony: pls shut up 
better than tony: fine I promise
better than tony: please get back to work
better than tony: preferably without burning any refrigerators
gremlin: no promises
better than tony: I'll take what I can get
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