#taz fanfic

[jerreeeeeee]

Balance fic recs

some of my favorite balance fics. various ages, popularities, and lengths. i’ve been wanting to do a rec list for a while!

caramel by nevereverever

The first time Taako is left alone, it isn't pretty. But their lives are stuck in a loop and people come back and die again and again and he wonders if there will ever be a time when he doesn't have to fear being left alone.

2.7k, Taako & Lup Lup dies one cycle and then, years later, she dies again. But she always comes back. Hurt/comfort of the best kind.

Warmth by noxic

"It was a well-known fact among the residents of the Starblaster that Lup, Barry, and Taako slept in the same bed more often than not. It was one of those things that they just did without really talking about it."

2.1k, Barry & Lup & Taako The BLT fic of all time. Quality platonic adult sleepovers.

Taako the Matchmaker by @fantasysamsclub

In which Taako tries to set up his sister. Events take place during Stolen Century.

11.1k, Blupjeans & Taako Taako tries to set up blupjeans. Miscommunication ensues. Very sweet and funny.

red fishing line by @anistarrose

A routine performance of Sizzle it Up goes nightmarishly wrong, and at Lup’s bedside, Taako feels helpless. And when a red-robed guest appears before him, Taako doesn’t know how or what to feel at all.

3k, Barry & Lup & Taako Also the BLT fic of all time. Excellent subtle Taako characterization, and my favorite depiction of the familiarity-but-not of being voidfished. Warning for major character death.

Sunny-Side Up by @barry-j-blupjeans

And the world? The world loved Taako. For once in his gods-damned life, people loved him. They didn’t care about all the flaws, they didn’t care where he came from or who he was before. They loved his food and they loved him. No one would ever quite be at Taako’s level and that was something he thrived on. There would never be anyone who could measure up. Taako deserved this happiness. He worked for it. He wasted his fucking life away for it.

5.7k, Taako A wonderful character study, revolving around the role food plays in Taako's life. Fairly minor but impactful characters like Sazed and Taako's aunt are utilized in a very meaningful way. So well-written and warm. Warning for brief suicidal ideation.

On the Deck of the Starblaster by @papergardener

“What the… what are you all doing? We have work to do!” It’s a justified reaction, Lucretia thinks, to finding your entire crew literally lazing about on deck not an hour into this new cycle. “This one's on me,” Taako says. “It’s a new trend I like to call: taking a fucking break.” Cycle Nintey-Five. Everyone’s maybe not doing so good and could use a little warmth.

6.5k, Lucretia & Taako Near the end of the century, Lucretia is feeling rough. Taako pulls her out of her funk and initiates a much needed rest. Fantastic characterization, of Lucretia as a whole, and the loyal, warm side of Taako. Warning for mentions of a suicide attempt and suicidal ideation.

leaving, as an injustice by @anistarrose

When Mavis is eight, she starts finding her Dad asleep on the couch in the morning. Sometimes, he’s even all the way out on their tiny patio, with his head slumped onto a pillow atop the chess table, and bags beneath his eyes. In one of their following games, he tells her about tactical retreats.

4.7k, Mavis & Merle A study of Mavis and her relationship to Merle. Incredibly insightful into criminally underrated characters. Excellent Merle characterization.

Permission by vaguenotion

She’d been doing this on and off for the last hour, as if daring the men to catch up to them. Daring them to fight her. Every time seemed like a final stand. Here is where I will meet them, her shoulders said, hiked up around her ears. Here is where I’ll make them pay for what they’ve done. But then Taako would grab her hand, and she would turn and see the bruising on his throat, the blood drying on his brow, the tear in his shirt. And she would grip his hand in hers and together they would keep running.

12.6k, Taako & Lup My favorite depiction of the twins as children, both in character and realistic. Beautifully atmospheric, with so many small details that make the setting feel so real. Warning for assault and harm to children.

Come Hell or High Water by @nillial

“Taako,” Hurley asks, “where’s your magic umbrella?” Taako looks behind him. He had tossed the Umbrastaff in the path of a neighboring vehicle, which was beginning to catch up to them. He sees them now, far in the distance, and he sees his Umbrastaff, too, lying dangerously close to its wheels. As if on cue, he watches the tires crush it to pieces. “Whoops,” he says. - Lup is trapped. And then she isn’t. --- In which Taako breaks his umbrella during the Petals to the Metal race, unknowingly freeing Lup, who is almost immediately captured by Kravitz. After becoming a member of the Raven Queen's retinue with Kravitz as her trainer, she has two missions: 1) find her family, and 2) ruin Kravitz's afterlife. A story about enemies becoming friends and lost families finding their way back to one another.

197k (currently), Lup & Kravitz Incredible characterization. I love the way Lup is written. Hilarious shenanigans, sweet friendship-building, and terribly sad sometimes, because it dives deep into the reality of Lup existing in a world that's forgotten her.

Very cold water on a very hot day by @keplercryptids

Sometimes a family is a nerd who can't swim and the crunchy-haired watersport inventor who teaches him how. Surfer lingo required.

3.1k, Barry & Taako Deep dive into the beach year. Excellently in character, well-written dialogue, and a beautiful depiction of their growing friendship.

Children of Atlas by @papergardener

They’ve survived the apocalypse and now as far as they know, they’re the only ones left. Perhaps it was inevitable that they’d consider… repopulation. Lucretia writes up a weekly schedule to try and address that. Absolutely no one is happy with this.

76k (currently), IPRE crew The premise for this one is incredibly offputting, but I'm so glad I gave it a chance. The characterization and quality of writing is absolutely wonderful. I also love the attention to detail of the realistic difficulty of just surviving. Fantastically atmospheric, this fic dives deep into the uncertainty and fear of the first cycle, when the crew are all strangers, and the love that turns them into a family. Warning for extensive discussion of sexual assault.

Emissary Davenport by DragonWrites

A series of stories where Captain Davenport is secretly an emissary of Garl Glittergold, Gnomish god of pranks. And when you're a serious-minded captain on a mission to save all of reality, having a cheerful trickster god as your unexpected patron can get a little strange...

300k, Davenport A series of four works set in an AU where Davenport is an emissary to the leader of the gnomish pantheon. My absolute favorite depiction of Davenport, ever. The first three works are explorations of Davenport as a character and the relationships between people and gods in a DnD world. The last, Lost Gods, is the best fanfiction I've ever read. I can't express how good it is. The attention to detail among myriad plot threads, the building of themes, the characterization across just about every single character in Balance, all come together to create 223k words of a genuine masterpiece.

#apparently theres some kind of comment thing going on and people were making fic rec lists so i wanted to throw my hat in the ring #bc a few of these are very underrated #yes theyre all gen. i don't care for shipping. sorry #mine #taz #taz balance #the adventure zone #taz: b #taz fanfic #taz balance fic #fic rec

[anistarrose]

When the earth beneath Refuge buckles, scorching heat racing up from the depths, time slows to a crawl between the moment Magnus accepts he will die, and the moment it that happens.

What is it again that you’re supposed to tell people when you’re dying? Oh, geez, there’s just so many options. And he only gets this one shot.

How about “Rosebud”? Or something equally cryptic? No, that would be wasted — no one else will be left standing to appreciate the mystery. And dang, Magnus thinks he could come up with a good one if he just had more time, too —

Maybe “We’ll get ‘em next time”? No. Not that either. He has no idea where that came from. Maybe his brain’s last attempt at a morbid joke.

“You were there for me when I needed a family. Thank you.” Oh, boy. Now, that’s one he can trace the logic behind, due to it being true — and, sappy or not, it’s the last thing his dying words ever really could be. No time left to be embarrassed by it, after all.

Unfortunately, by this point, he has no time left to say it, either.

The ground shatters and erupts around him, flinging him into the air just in time for a huge slab of rubble to slam into him from behind, crushing his chest. The force is so concussive he can’t tell if he’s still falling or already back on the ground when the fire surrounds him, incinerating everything —

But then, he’s back in that white space, for just a single moment outside of the confines of time. And then, he’s lying on his back outside of Refuge again. Alive.

Ah. Time loop. For the time relic, it’s kinda obvious in hindsight.

Good thing Magnus didn’t have time to say what he meant to, then. For him to get all sincere in his dying moments, in everyone’s dying moments, only for him and Merle and Taako to all get up and walk away like nothing happened? That would just be awkward.

(keep reading on ao3!)

#taz #taz balance #taz balance spoilers #magnus burnsides #merle highchurch #taako taaco #thb #taz fanfic #rosalia writes fic #this one's for my BOYS!

[cataztrophi]

Lup hopped onto the counter and sat down cross-legged, resting her chin in her hand. “Honestly, Taako, I didn’t think you had the attention span to hold a grudge this long.”

“She made me forget you, Lup.” He crossed his arms and leaned against the kitchen island, scowling at the floor. “She didn’t know if you were alive or dead but she made me forget you anyway.” There was a hitch in his throat that could have been anger or tears. Lup doubted even he knew which one. “I would have kept looking, I could have–”

“Bud, that’s exactly why she had to make you forget me. She knew you would never stop looking. She wanted to keep you safe, and give you a chance at a happy life while she made things right.”

“But don’t you see that’s worse?” His arms were clenched so tightly to his chest that his whole body shook.

Lup kept her tone gentle, tilting her head down in an attempt to meet his eyes that he refused to acknoweldge. “What do you mean?”

“Because I was happy, Lup! I forgot you, and I was happy. Not all the time, okay, there were some rough patches, but at least some of the time? Yeah, I thought I was doing okay, because I didn't know I had this big fucking hole in the middle of my chest."

Lup shook her head gently. “Taako-”

“How could she just erase you like that? How could I let her? I should have fought it, I should have kept something, like- like Barry did, or….” He threw his hands up, frustrated and overwhelmed by the thoughts that had clearly been running him ragged for months now.

Lup climbed down from the counter and went to lean next to him, their arms almost touching as they both stared at the floor. “You did keep something.”  

He snorted. “If you're going to start on Magnus' bullshit about the umbra staff and how fate brought us back together, don't bother. I already told him where he can stick it.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. Do you remember how, every time you cooked something, Magnus always complained because you used all the spoons?”

Taako looked up at her for the first time, surprised. “What does that have to do-?”

“Do you remember?” There was an insistent edge to her voice now. Desperately trying to make him see.

“Okay, fuck! Yeah, I remember. I kept telling him you have to taste the food as you go.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, my man. But that’s not why you always used all the spoons.”

He was silent for a long moment, considering this. “What do you mean?”

“You used all the spoons because every time you went to taste what you were making, you always grabbed two spoons. I don’t know if you ever even noticed. But you did it because you knew I was supposed to be there with you. Barry told me that, when he couldn’t remember me, he felt it like a weight in his chest. But you, Taako, you felt me in every act of creation, in every moment of joy when you knew you had something good and you wanted to share it with someone. You can’t say you ever really forgot me when I was with you every time you cooked.”

#this has been in my head for weeks and if i have to suffer so do you #also lowkey a callout to my partner who always uses every spoon in the house when they cook #taz balance #taz balance spoilers #taako #lup #taz fanfic #troph writes

[umbraastaff]

"I am blessed by the Raven Queen-- I cannot be defeated by a lich!"

The lich in question hovers unbothered over Kravitz's restrained form. "I think, uh, at this point, bluffing like that is kinda moot."

Kravitz struggles anyway. His scythe won't be called. "Well then, what do you plan to do with me, so thoroughly at your mercy?" he spits out.

"Mm, uh, good question. She likes you, right? The Raven Queen?"

Kravitz stills a little and narrows his eyes, trying to figure out where he's going.

"Seems like she does, anyway. Which means if I off you, then I get a pretty major god angry, and that's not great for me." He tilts his head. "I could just leave you, I guess."

"What-- Leave me here?"

"Yeah, uh, you know. At worst, gets you out of my way for a little bit. At best, some of her resources get spent trying to find you, which means even fewer eyes on me. And you really screwed me outta getting some kinda real powerful artifact last time. Can't have that again."

"Of course power would be your goal, lich."

"I mean, not exactly. And it's Barry. Oh, that reminds me," Barry says. "Just for future reference-- your bounty book has an error, or you're mixing me up with someone. You got my name, duh, and the fact that I'm a lich--"

He crosses his shadowy legs in midair and gestures to the ethereal crimson covering his form. Kravitz rolls his eyes.

"--but I don't know where your stats are coming from, because I've only ever died once."

(next)

#the adventure zone #taz balance #barry bluejeans #taz kravitz #taz au #taz fanfic #mine #writes #balance #barry #kravitz #au

[journalofimprobablethings]

Oh hey I started re-listening to Balance and I had forgotten that when they find the red robe in Wave Echo Cave that Justin asks about the robe's stats and whether he could take it and god can you just imagine if Taako had shown up at the Bureau wearing Lup's robe??

And then I wrote a thing about it.

--

Lucretia thought she was prepared for seeing her brothers again.

She's had time to build up her walls, to steel herself for what she knows will be a painful encounter. She's had a decade now of secrets and privately held regrets and memories, and she's become adept at hiding her emotions, learned how to school all the dismay and sorrow from her expression.

Even so, it takes everything in her to keep her expression neutral when the three of them walk into the room.

Magnus and Merle look in many ways like she expected--though older, ten years older; and she realizes she's never seen them age before. They've been in stasis for a hundred years, always come back each cycle looking exactly the same; but now Merle's wrinkles have deepened, and Magnus has new lines at the corners of his eyes and grey threaded through his hair, even though his body is barely thirty.

The joy and and intense sorrow she feels at the sight of them, with all the changes the past ten years have wrought, is so strong she doesn't think she can hold it inside her.

But what nearly undoes her is when Taako walks in. He looks exactly the same; elves don't age the same way humans do, or even dwarves--but for a moment she thinks--

She knows it's impossible, but for a moment, every signal is telling her brain that the elf in front of her wearing a red robe and carrying a familiar umbrella isn't Taako--it's Lup.

Then she blinks, and her brain recalibrates, and she realizes her mistake.

It's not that she has trouble telling the two apart--after a century living together, the twins lost the ability to fool the others unless they were trying very hard.

But she thinks she could be forgiven for the lapse, because the robe Taako is wearing isn't just any red robe--not some ironic twist, the universe mocking her with echoes.

It's an IPRE robe. Lup's IPRE robe.

And he's holding Lup's umbrastaff, casually slung over his shoulder like it belongs there.

Lucretia has spent any moment she could spare from her search for the Relics trying to find any trace of where Lup might have gone, and has come up empty.

Taako doesn't know what he's lost, hasn't even known to look--but somehow he's succeeded where Lucretia has failed. Clearly, at some point in their recent adventure--

He found Lup.

Or at least, he found Lup's things. What does it mean, that the robe and staff were left somewhere Taako could just pick them up? If Lup left the staff behind, does that mean--

With effort, Lucretia stops her train of thought, forcing herself to take a deep, even breath and push the roil of emotions down deep inside her. Later, she'll be able to sit and think through what this could mean.

For now, she has a part to play.

She straightens her shoulders and smiles, only leaning a little bit extra on her staff as she stands to greet them.

"Welcome, you three. Magnus, Merle, Taako. Killian has told me a lot about you and your...exploits."

She glances over at Killian, who is watching her with a sharp expression. She can't have failed to notice Lucretia's reaction to the robe when Taako walked in. Lucretia wonders what she knows about how Taako got it.

"I wanted to personally thank you for your help in retrieving the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet," she continues. "Thanks to you, an enormous danger has been removed from the world."

Magnus coughs awkwardly. Lucretia knows he's thinking about Phandolin, all those people he failed to save. "Yeah, we uh. We were happy to help."

"Does this thanks come in the form of gold?" Taako asks. "I think retreiving a super magic weapon is worth a reward, right?"

"Or a job? We were told there might be job openings here," Merle adds.

Lucretia laughs a little.

"We'll get to that in a minute," she says. She glances at Killian. "First, I--Taako, I would like to know where you got that robe? It's very--"

"Red," Killian finishes.

Taako looks down at himself. "Oh this thing? Yeah, I picked it up off some skeleton in a cave."

A yawning, empty pit opens up inside Lucretia.

"I figured, he was super dead, so finders keepers." He swoops the ends of the robe a little. "Stylish, right?"

The pit inside Lucretia yawns a little wider.

It's not that she hasn't considered the possibility--probability even--that Lup is dead. And just because her body is dead doesn't mean that she is gone.

But it's the confirmation--and Taako's cavalier description of his sister's bones--that nearly undoes Lucretia for the second time that day.

She grips her staff tight, and forces herself to keep her breathing even. She places one hand behind her back, so that the others can't see the tight fist she's balled it into.

"This was the cave where you first found the gauntlet?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

Lucretia exchanges glances with Killian.

"You all have visited Johann, correct? You've taken the voidfish's ichor?"

"You mean the fish poop?" Taako asks. "Yeah, we drank it. Not my favorite thing ever, I've gotta say."

"Yeah, it was super gross," Magnus puts in.

"Salty," Merle adds. "But I dunno, it had a kinda--"

"Oh my gods, do not--" Taako says.

"I'm just saying, it wasn't the worst thing I've ever tasted."

"Please stop."

Taako pinches the bridge of his nose, and Magnus busts out laughing. Lucretia has to steel herself against another wave of emotion as she watches the three of them banter. The familiarity aches.

She raises her voice a little to be heard over Magnus's laughter. "In that case, you've remembered the Relic Wars."

Magnus sobers instantly.

"The wars were caused by the Grand Relics: a series of extraordinarily powerful magical objects created by a group of magicians that we...refer to...as the Red Robes."

All three of the boys look down at Taako's robe.

"Oh," Merle says.

"Shit," Magnus says.

"Well," Taako says.

"It is very probable that the...the remains you found belonged to a member of that group."

"But that's good though, right?" Magnus says after a moment. "If one of them is dead--that's a good thing? Isn't it? They can't cause any more harm if they're dead."

Lucretia digs a fingernail deep into the palm of the hand behind her back.

"I'm afraid the harm the Grand Relics are capable of will long outlive the Red Robes themselves," she says. "But that's why we're here. We are doing our best to right the wrongs the Red Robes did. To remove the dangers they put into the world with the Relics. And we'd like your help."

"Sounds like a good cause," Merle says. "Does it pay?"

"It does pay," Lucretia says. "Competitively, if I say so myself."

"I'm in," Magnus says.

"Can I ask a quick question?" Taako says.

"Of course," Lucretia says. "I understand if you want more information before--"

"No, no, I'm--as long as the pay is good, I'm all on board," Taako says. "But I wanted to ask--"

He gives the robe a dramatic swish.

"Would it be in bad taste for me to keep the robe? It's just so comfy, you know? Great armor stats."

Taako gives her a shit-eating grin, and Lucretia's head swims for a moment at the image, one part of her brain telling her Lup, it's Lup, while the rest replies no it's not, it's not, she's gone, maybe forever.

She forces a small, rueful smile.

"Well, I can't deny that seeing a red robe around the Bureau regularly might cause some talk, some... discomfort. But we're not in the business of dress codes here. I'll leave it up to you."

"Great!" Taako drawls. "Can't wait to be the fashion talk of the moon!"

And Lucretia can't help but smile genuinely at that--he's still Taako, even after everything.

"Very well." She sets her staff carefully against her chair, consciously relaxes her shoulders. In her imagination, Magnus's hand rests firmly on her shoulder, Merle's a reassuring presence at her hip. The memory of Lup's voice whispers in her mind. You got this, Luce.

"If that's decided, let's get you three up to speed."

She gestures widely to the reception room, putting a little bit of the theatrical flair she learned from Taako into the gesture.

"Welcome to the Bureau of Balance."

#taz balance #taz #taz lucretia #taz taako #taz lup #taz fanfic #i started relistening to balance recently and i can feel the obsession slowly rekindling #the image of taako walking into the bureau wearing a red robe was just so vivid #can you imagine #anyway i love lucretia so much #she's doing her best #and the boys are a Trial #scribblings #long post #taz balance spoilers #i did not proofread this #even a little

[artsyriv]

The Taaco Twins!

Check out The Lover (a massive Blupjeans fic)

Check out my commissions!

#taz balance #taz #thezonecast #taz lup #the lover #taz fanart #taz fanfic #commisions open #commissions!!!

[sisiren]

shattered gifts that heal

Summary: Lup brings her family together to celebrate Candlenights and to help two of them heal. Words: 14287

It sparked from an idea, a brief clashing of neurons that had Lup sitting up frantically in the night (and wasn't that a new concept? She hadn't realized how much she missed sleeping until she was in and out of meditation for over ten years and didn’t have the option to sleep).

She hadn't had a single Candlenights for - for the same amount of time. The last one she could even remember was spent looking down at the world they were condemning to war, and there was very little attempt from anyone at celebrating that year.

Rationally, she knew that she was technically there for the previous Candlenights - and it is said in the most technical of ways, in a teasing voice that gets a blank look from Taako and wet eyes from Barry and a guilty look from Luce, but it was always fun to say it that way. She had been stuck in the Umbrastaff, but they had had worse Candlenights. And at least last year, she was surrounded by the people she loved.

“Lu?” came Barry’s voice from beside her, half slurred in sleep but still alert - they had all learned to be quick in their alertness, after a century. “What’s wrong?”

She turned to look at him, a smile fighting at her lips. He was always so adorable when he woke up, his bedhead and drool stains and half-lidded eyes that were so intelligent and focussed.

Bringing a hand to his face, she leaned her forehead against his. Morning breath didn't bother either of them anymore, not when they knew every other intimate part of one another.

“Nothing's wrong, babe,” she answered honestly. She couldn't blame him for not believing her, though. The amount of times she had shot awake, terror and fear taking her heart that she was trapped in her own creation once more, that her own family didn't remember her? It had happened far more than either of them liked.

Keep Reading on Ao3

(Written for the Blinkshark exchange for @entguarde. Happy Candlenights, Ent!)

#taz #the adventure zone balance #taz balance #IPRE #taz fanfic

[yourbelgianthings]

"when mr. pretty rolls up, you are ensorceled."

a short montrose character study! ~500 words, spoilers for what the fourth heist is but nothing else, no tws

montrose remembered the first time he put the mask on, but now it felt like he had never lived without it. it was easier in so many ways. working at the arcade, for one: he would recommend anyone with a customer service job try it. customers being unable to see his face improved things for everyone. deeper than that, though, it allowed montrose to approach relationships on his own terms. he liked having full control of what he shared with people and when, rather than accidentally letting things slip through his expression and others drawing conclusions or misinterpreting him. for most of his life, he had been nobody special, just some guy whose childhood fixation on a particular amusement park had never faded. montrose pretty, gentleman thief, became almost a role to play. the charisma was natural, but now it had a direction, a way to be channeled and best utilized. for good? well, not necessarily, but the company he kept didn't mind. between beef, emerich, and him, someone needed to be the face of the operation. it was surprising that the three of them got along at all, but there was no point questioning it. "hey, earth to montrose!" beef's voice snapped him back to the discussion at hand; he really had been lost in thought. "i'm sorry, gentlemen. forgive my lapse in attention, back to planning the heist, shall we?" theft as a profession suited montrose almost too well. he oozed charisma and his easy southern drawl had a way of charming anyone he wanted something from. beyond montrose pretty, the base role, he also had a penchant for creating additional aliases (all under the surname goodparty, of course). something about bringing someone else to life was just irresistible to him. acting was easier than authenticity, playing a part was safer than sharing his own personality. was that an issue? probably, but he could deal with that later, and if it was always for later, then it would become never. if nothing else, montrose pretty was an expert in compartmentalizing. gathering supplies to steal the gallspire was all that was on his mind at the moment. well, that, and his excitement to return to ephemera. it had been far too long since his last visit; he couldn't wait to introduce his friends to artemesius goodparty, hawkblade of the emerald coven. hold on. montrose froze in the middle of donning his long coat. did he just think of beef and emerich as his friends? they had always been his coworkers, but as their criminal exploits around the park escalated, their camaraderie had also grown in a way that hadn't registered with him until now. smiling softly under his mask, montrose headed out to the main area of the arcade where the others were already waiting. "sorry to keep you boys," he said jovially, "let's do this!" putting an arm around each of their shoulders (or more like their lower backs, beef and emerich were both much taller), and telling them: "i can't think of two other people i'd rather steal the gallspire with!", montrose felt ready for anything.

#message from mirph #mirph's manuscripts #taz fanfic #fanfic #taz steeplechase #the adventure zone #montrose pretty #griffin mcelroy

[lesbianmontrosepretty]

Stay Good Under Pressure: A Candlenights Exploration

Happy Candlenights, @yourbelgianthings! I'm your secret santa nyehehe. Hope you enjoy your hefty serving of Angus McDonald with a side of IPRE pain<3

This fic is loosely built around a line from the Mountain Goats' We Have Seen The Enemy (you know the one). I also tried to intersperse as much tmg as I could! (which ended up being not that much, sadly, but I think it hits) thank you for making me insane about this.

Word count: 3052

---

“Hey, guys, is something going on?”

Angus was sitting in the Director's office, on one of the seats across her desk, helping the reclaimer crew navigate the Millers’ rapidly crystalizing lab.

“Guys, is something wrong? I can't hear you anymore.”

It seemed yet another one of Lucas’s experiments was proving more trouble than it was worth. From the crackling, static-ridden other end, it seemed like they had angered a robot that was meant to be a learning tool for children — only the “artificial intelligence” had obviously gotten out of control. Lucretia could not believe this was the same man she had trusted with the safety of this entire world. With the safety of her family.

“I think there's something wrong with the stones!”

The line went quiet.

“Sirs?” Angus spoke into the stone of farspeech as he looked up at her, worry raw in his eyes the way only a kid’s can show.

Lucretia reached over the desk and took the stone from his hands, trying to channel brand new arcane power into it. “Boys? Is everything alright?”

Silence.

Continue reading on AO3

#The Adventure Zone #taz #taz balance #The Adventure Zone Balance #taz crystal kingdom #taz fanfic #fanfiction #Lucretia #Angus McDonald #IPRE Crew #They're family your honor #this feels like davenport erasure. I'm SO sorry I prommy I didn't forget about him (mostly) I just couldn't find a way to write him in natu #lex wrote a thing?? #blink shark server candlenights exchange 2023 #blink shark discord

[karkatwaddles]

Cooking - Taz November Celebration Day 2

Yesterday I did art and today I'm doing writing! We're gonna be exploring all my artistic abilities and writing is one of them!! I'm so hyped for this, I love this silly lil prompt.

Summary: Magnus wants to learn how to cook, so who better to go to than the chef himself, his good friend Taako! He loves hanging out with him, and since they stopped going on adventures, Magnus has been dying to find an excuse to hang out with his elf friend. Taako welcomes the other with open arms into his kitchen though he knows how horrible Magnus is at cooking, so he makes sure to keep him at an arm's distance from the more dangerous parts of it. He has the other do little tasks. Though as they work, Taako can't help but feel... empty and frustrated, with himself and the circumstances he finds himself in.

Genre: Mostly fluff, a little bit of angst.

Words: 2,286

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There was something so pleasant to the fighter about cooking with someone he knew for such a long time. Magnus Burnsides wanted to learn the art of the kitchen, and who better to ask than the cook of his friend group, Taako? He knew that if anyone would be able to teach him, it would be him, no matter how horrible Magnus was at it. He'd run his hands through his hair, more grown out since the last time he had seen his friend, his fingers getting caught on small tangles he had yet to take care of. It wasn't like he cared too much about his appearance, but after not having seen his close friend in quite some time, or what may have felt longer than it was, he wanted to at least look presentable. Though, at the same time, such an idea didn't make much sense, as the wizard had seen Magnus at literally his worst. Down on the ground, bleeding and bruised, struggling to get back up or crying and angry, Taako has seen it all from Magnus. He wasn't one to hide his emotions, to hide how he was feeling but at the same time, he refused to take the help that anyone seemed to offer him.

But now, it was different. Magnus was going out of his way for assistance, even proudly asking for help. Strength came from the people who could help him, he knew that all too well now.

With more casual clothing, a flannel colored in red and jeans he had been gifted from Barry, he found his way to Taako's home. A beautiful building designed in mainly Kravitz's eyes, painted in black with accents of stone here and there, it was a large house standing at two stories. The garden out front was beautiful with flowers of many kinds that expanded outwards and even towards the side of the home. Vines climbed up the walls of the building, giving it a mystical feel as Magnus walked towards the gate that separated the dirt road from the bricks that created a path towards the front door. Though, as he was taking steps closer to the house, he heard his name called from the other side of the front lawn.

"Maggi, over here." It was Taako's voice. His eyes darted over to see a tall, flamboyant elf kneeling on the ground and pushing himself into a standing position. Magnus smiled, looking the other over quickly before he made his way around the garden and suddenly picked up his friend into a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around Taako's entire body, lifting him in the air and spinning him around with a toothy smile plastered on his lips. Taako let out a small grunt, putting his hands on the big guy's shoulders before letting out a huff,

"My god, put me down before you crush me, Magnus! What did I say about a warning before you decide to kill me with your death grip!" Taako exclaimed, mostly teasing as he was set down by his friend. "Also, maybe, uh, don't, go spinning around in my garden? I just planted some Petunias and I'd rather them live for at least a day before you go stomping around on them," Magnus looked down at the newly planted flowers as Taako ran a hand through his hair, once he took his hat off with his other hand. The more burly of the two smiled even wider, "Damn Taako! Is there anything you can't do? This garden is looking better each time I come over!" Magnus would exclaim, looking over the beautiful flowers that made up the front lawn, a rainbow of different petals and vines that erupted throughout the ground. Of course, in a tame manner, Taako made sure to keep everything organized and orderly to keep a presentable look to it. Taako dusts the dirt off himself, though he's wearing his usual gardening attire so it will be washed either way, and beckons his friend to follow him to the front of his home,

"Maybe you should come visit me more often and you'd see the garden more," Taako smirks, looking over his shoulder for a moment before opening the door to the house, "Shoes off please," He'd add, as he took off his own stylish rainboots that he had slipped on before he had gone to the garden. Watching as Taako went off to change, Magnus sat down on the ground near the door to untie his leather boots. He let out a low hum as his eyes darted around the place, noticing how not much had changed since the last time he had been there. However, it wasn't a surprise, as he found that once Taako had settled on something, he most often refused to allow it to be changed. Unless it came to his style, then he would change it in an instant to match where he was at, both literally and metaphorically. Once he got his shoes off, he tucked them in the corner, next to the door, before he moved on towards the kitchen. As he entered, he realized that the ingredients and equipment were already set up for them to cook something. Magnus could only smile wider, overjoyed at that moment that Taako was so ready to help him learn the ropes.

Walking around the island in the middle of the kitchen, dragging his hand along the marble countertop, he couldn't help but recall the wonderful meals that Julia once cooked for him. She insisted that she cooked for him, and when she was busy it was her father who took up the task. The two of them never let Magnus lay a finger on the cookware, not for a moment, making sure that he had the best meals that would ever be made for him. He never really got the opportunity to learn. He recalled watching from the other side of the room, leaning in the doorframe of the kitchen of his old home, a home he once shared with his wife after the revolution was over and the ceremony of a wedding brought them together, bound in love. He remembered watching as she moved around the kitchen with a smile on her lips, humming. Julia was a powerful woman, but she was also soft and gentle, a caretaker at heart, something that Magnus adored about her. As his eyes moved about the kitchen, these memories coming back to him, he noticed a figure standing in the doorway, crossing his arms as he leaned on the entrance to the kitchen. A smirk on his lips as Taako found himself entering his favorite room in this house, the place he spent most of his free time in. Similar to Julia, Magnus recognized this as well, even though it was hard to see, Taako was a caretaker at heart as well. He cooked for the people he loved, showing off his skills, and making sure everyone around him was well fed.

"Can't believe you already got this set up." Magnus commented, crossing his big arms over his chest with a grin on his lips. He seemingly teased the other, poking fun at the extra work that Taako had put in to do something for a friend. Rolling his eyes in response, Taako pushed himself from the frame he leaned on, moving over while grabbing his apron from a hook on the wall. "Can't be wasting any time trying to pick and choose what we make, can we? Trick question, the answer is no! So, I've already chosen what I'm going to teach you, something easy and light, as well as something you can make yourself and take to parties and whatnot. Or to whatever you do nowadays." Taako brought the apron over his neck and tied the strings behind his back. Magnus chuckled at his friend's words, as he looked amongst the items that were laid out on the island, "Okay, so what are we making?" He'd question. "Homemade quesadillas, baby! Though, you're not gonna be going near the stove, sorry, I just can't trust you with an open flame yet." Taako would say, "Also, we're making the dough by hand, so that's gonna end up being your main task." He'd add, giving Magnus a smirk as he walked behind him, giving his friend a pat on the back before moving towards the stove and getting a pan ready. This is gonna be a beef and vegetable quesadilla, and it's going to be amazing. "But isn't making the dough one of the more complex parts of cooking?" Magnus would question, his eyebrows furrowing into a deep knot, confused. Taako turned, shaking his head and letting out a laugh as he dismissively waved his hand, "Please, making dough is one of the easiest things, you just gotta get the measurements right! You'll be okay, Mags, even a baby could do it."

Turning back to the stove, he set up the pan and the ground beef that he'd be preparing for the dish, as well as a separate pan for some bell peppers, adding a little bit of greenery to this meal. He'd work quick as his eyes would glance over to the other, "Oh, I should mention, I left a recipe over there for you for the dough. Once you have it done, I'll go over there and teach you how to roll it out." Magnus nodded in response. Looking back to the ground beef that began to cook, he'd add a mixture of seasonings that had been prepared in advance before he continued to let it cook. Multitasking, working on the two main ingredients, he was quick and worked with a sort of flare that could never be compared to anything else. Though, Magnus, even though he would have loved to see it, wasn't paying attention. He was too paranoid about messing up. The measurements were right there, the steps perfectly in order, there was no possible way he could mess it up. Taako watched as these thoughts would obviously go through his head, his eyes turning to look towards his friend, watching him closely as he measured yeast and flour into a bowl and began to mix it. He couldn't help but smile as he observed... though that smile couldn't help but fade as his own thoughts seemed to come up in his mind. When Magnus came to him, asking him to teach him how to cook, he was more than willing. He loved the idea, loved that Magnus wanted to learn from him, wanted to do something new in his life, something that... something that Taako wished he could do. Taako has done so many things. He's gardening, modeling, teaching, all sorts of things, and he's amazing at it. Like Magnus had said earlier, is there anything he cannot do?

Taako has found a lot of struggle trying to find some sort of purpose, some sort of new reason for going on. Of course, his friends and family are more than enough reason to keep moving through this world, but he wanted something to do. Something that was more than himself, more than this new life he let on. He loved living with Kravitz, he loved being with friends and doing little parties and teaching people magic, every aspect of it he adored, but ... it was boring. He's traveled through space and time, realm after realm, plane after plane, he's seen destruction and life, saved and lost, he's been through more than most people could say they have on this planet. So what now? Was he destined to live the role of an elf doing menial tasks that simply are there to pass the time? Was this his new life? Where was the excitement? The danger? Sure, he didn't miss that life of working for the bureau, almost dying every other day, but at the same time, that's what made life worth living. Working with Magnus and Merle, teaching Angus the ropes of magic, and going on dates with Kravitz, he missed those things. He missed being excited about the world, about waking up the next day to see what was in store for him, for learning more about what was around him.

As these thoughts flowed through his mind, he realized that the food he was cooking was done, almost a little over. As he moved the pans off the flame, he turned off the gas and put lids over the pans, keeping the food warm and he, once again, turned to look at Magnus. He did not expect the other to be covered in flour when his gaze shifted, his eyebrows raised in surprise as the originally red flannel that this man wore was now white. He snickered which soon turned into a laugh which caused the fighter to turn to look at Taako, eyebrows furrowing at the other's amusement. In an instant, all of the thoughts that drowned Taako's spirits were gone, especially when the next thing he knew, flour was flying through the air, hitting him right in the face. Taako gasped, wiping flour from the area around his eyes as he looked to Magnus who now wore a mischievous grin. "How dare you!" Taako exclaimed dramatically as he picked up some flour from the bowl that he had prepared a while ago and shoved the powder toward Magnus' head, spreading it in his hair and tangling his fingers through his locks. After he had successfully committed such an act, he had his own look of mischief. A smirk grew on his lips, before their cooking session turned into an all-out fight with flour, creating a mess in the kitchen.

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Originally I wasn't SUPER happy with this but it ended up really cute and I enjoyed it lots. Hope you do too!!

@taznovembercelebration

#taz #the adventure zone #taz balance #magnus burnsides #taako taaco #taagnus #taakitz #taz november celebration #writing #my writing #taz fanfic

[taakosleftshoe]

So. I finally caved.

Debuting my fanfic career with an Amber and Kodira ficlet, naturally.

#sierra speaks #taz ethersea #oksamber #taz fic #taz fanfic #the adventure zone #the adventure zone ethersea #bubbanana #amber gris #oksana kodira #too many name variations AUUUGH #BTW THIS DOESNT HAVE ANY ETHERSEA SPOILERS SO SIENA. YOU CAN READ IT. #i dont remember if i have a writing tag yet #my writing #maybe???

[eliias-bouchard]

taz zombie apocalypse au ...

Everyone has different names for the mould that cascades through the streets, digging its heels into the gaps between pavement stones and bricks and crawling up pipes like long arms begging to be taken to heaven. Some call it The Maw, some The Abyss, some simply Death. Taako and Lup call it The Hunger.

Or - Taako calls it The Hunger. He hasn't heard from Lup in a while. She was studying somewhere far away (Everwind? Everwinter? something like that) when The Hunger hit. She tried to keep up with him, but her radio must've broken or something. Maybe she's turned it off, preserve power. Maybe Everwhatever's dealing with The Hunger better than anywhere else and she's just continued her studies. She promised she'd be back. She promised.

Something in Taako knows, however, that she isn’t coming. That means he has to find her. That means travelling to Ever-whatever-it's-called.

It’s less dangerous on the road, he knows. There were less people, so there'll be less zombies too, less dull, thoughtless husks that The Hunger has incorporated into its mass and is piloting around to bring in more. Images of the things rise to his mind, sentry duty from within Refuge’s keep, carved into the cliff face that protects the town, watching the things shamble about outside. They made almost no sound, and sentry duty was always a pain because you could never see the damn things well enough for a clear, decisive arrow shot.

Enough dwelling. Time to get moving.

Everything Taako needs is kept in his bag; mask, non-perishable food (mainly beef jerky he found at a defunct food bank), water, compass, map, as well as soaps shoved into the bottom for whenever he reaches running water to wash his clothes and himself. He keeps his backup knife in an improvised scabbard on his belt, and has been attaching knives and blades to Lups umbrella at every opportunity. It's now covered in knives at the tips, outside and in, and is - in Taakos professional opinion - a weapon of mass destruction. He couldn't be happier.

He slips out of the musty old basement he'd hidden out in for the night, already wearing his mask, squinting against the dim light of the morning. This is another use for the umbrella, but he doesn't get it out just yet. The dawn is yawning across the sky, the warm colours cracking into the clouds like a stained glass window. He takes a moment to appreciate it, and then orients himself, and continues in his way to find Lup.

#taz #temp writing tag #taako #taz taako #the adventure zone #taz balance #taz: balance #taako taz #taako taaco #the adventure zone balance #balance arc #taz fanfic #taz fic #aside from plash plop gurgle i mean

[anistarrose]

Here’s a thing that doesn’t happen very often: Barry recognizes someone’s face.

It’s just for a moment, in a tavern that smells of bad beer and worse food — stuff that would be no good even for stronger stomachs than Barry’s, with its only saving grace found in the price. Barry’s on his way to the bar with his gaze lowered when he misjudges a stranger’s course, and the stranger on their way out misjudges Barry’s. Their shoulders bump, knocking a wide-brimmed wizard hat askew —

And Barry sees a sun elven face. Faint freckles, curly hair with a choppy cut, and bags under the stranger’s eyes that might be even bigger than those under Barry’s own.

Before Barry can stammer out an apology, the elf mutters something curt under his breath — pulling the hat back over his eyes, and a scarf over his mouth for good measure — but Barry recognizes something there. He’s seen this elf before — with a rounder face, with longer hair dyed bright colors, and certainly, with a less cagey look in those eyes — but he’s seen him nonetheless.

Most recently, though: he’s seen that face on a wanted poster.

(keep reading on ao3!)

#taz #taz balance #taz balance spoilers #barry bluejeans #taako taaco #taz fanfic #so this is the one i put the Themes and Allegories into unintentionally #and if you see even a hint of projection? no you don't <3 #rosalia writes fic

[liltaz-asatreat]

Broken Trust

Also on ao3!

~

Lup walks into the kitchen to find Taako furiously mixing up the ninth bowl of cupcake batter in the past 48 hours. There isn't enough room in the fridge for all of the cupcakes he's making, but that hasn't stopped him from banging around in the kitchen for hours for the past two days. Nor has it convinced him to just talk to her about what's upsetting him.

Taako may be stubborn, but Lup can be just as stubborn as him, and she's not going to leave this kitchen without getting him to at least acknowledge to her that he's upset and what he's upset about.

She leans against the opposite wall from him with her arms crossed over her chest. “Ko.”

Taako stiffens and glances up at her for a second before he looks back down at the bowl and starts mixing it faster. “I'm busy.”

Lup sighs. “I'm worried about you.”

“Don't be.”

She frowns. “I'm will be anyway.”

Taako snorts as he slams the bowl down on the counter. As he reaches for the cupcake tin, he says, “What do you want, Lup?”

“I know what you're upset about, and I know you didn't want to talk to me about it before when I wasn't in my body because you feel weird about it. And that's okay, but I'm fully back now, and I'm tired of dancing around the issue.” Her face softens a little as she says, “I just want to talk it out with you.”

“I'm not dancing around any issue,” Taako says shortly. “You're back now, so we have nothing to talk about.”

“You're still very obviously upset–”

“I'm not upset, Lup! Taako is feeling just peachy.” He doesn't look at her as he dolls out spoonfuls of batter into the tin.

“You've made like, a hundred cupcakes in the past two days.” Lup says. “Please just talk to me? I can't do anything to help us work through this if you don't open up.”

“You have nothing you need to do to help me work through anything. There isn't even anything that I need to work through. There's just something that needs to be fixed, and I'm the only one who can fix it.”

She crinkles her eyebrows in confusion. “Wait, I thought this was about me leaving and dying and getting trapped in an umbrella for twelve years. What on earth do you need to fix?”

Taako throws the spoon down in the bowl, causing it to tip over and spill its contents onto the counter top. He turns around and looks at her with so much pain, venom, and fury that she's never seen directed at her from him before. “I don't know, Lup! What do I need to fix?”

Lup winces and hesitates before tentatively saying, “I literally don't know what you're talking about.”

Taako breathes heavily before spitting, “What did I do to lose your trust?”

She jerks her head back a little, taken aback by that question. “What do you mean?”

“I thought I made my question pretty clear. What did I do that made you stop trusting me?”

“I– I do trust you, Taako. I don't understand–”

He laughs sourly. “That's a whole load of horse shit right there.”

“What–?”

“You haven't trusted me since at least cycle 82 which, let me check–” He pretends to count his fingers before glaring back up at her. “–was almost 30 years ago.”

Lup's heart sinks. “You've been letting this fester for 30 years? Taako, why didn't you bring this up before? And what did I do that made you think I don't trust you?”

“I didn't bring it up before because you're now made up of magic duct tape and wishes, and I'm only bringing it up now because you won't leave me alone about it, and you're at least back in your body, and I figured, you know, you survived being by yourself and trapped in a stick, so you must be able to take some of my anger.” Taako says as he rolls his eyes.

“And I don't know, Lup, what could you have possibly done that made me think you don't trust me? Could it have to do with the fact that you didn't talk to me about the lich plan before you went through with it? Or the fact that you didn't even mention it until the very end of the most important day that's supposed to be one of your anchors to hold on to yourself and keep yourself stabilized, so I couldn't say or do anything to upset you in case it would ruin it and put you in more danger?

“I spent years wracking my brain trying to figure out why you didn't trust me enough to tell me about it beforehand, but I eventually tried to put it aside because it was over, and I couldn't afford to question it while we were running from the apocalypse. Plus, you seemed to trust me again, so I thought I could ignore it. But then you had to pull the little stunt of not fucking telling anyone where you were going or what you were doing, so what am I supposed to think about that, Lup? Oh, you definitely trust me, and that's why you couldn't be bothered to even send one 25 word message!”

“I did it on a whim, Taako, you know that,” Lup says quietly, fighting back tears. “I was just trying to do some cloud gazing to clear my head, and the battle was happening below me, and I couldn't just leave the Gauntlet there to be picked up by the next person who was going to use it to kill and destroy a bunch more people.”

Taako crosses his arms. “You did it on a whim, yes, but I imagine that it had to have taken some time to find Cyrus and get to Wave Echo Cave. I didn't think you had him on speed dial.”

“I–”

“Out of curiosity, how long did it take to find Cyrus and make it to Wave Echo Cave?” he seethes.

“I– I don't know, Taako.” Lup swallows the lump building in her throat, but it stubbornly remains firmly planted in its position. “It was a few days I think?”

“And in that time, it didn't occur to you to stop and think for a second to tell me or someone else where the fuck you were?”

“I didn't–”

“And then you had the audacity to ask me if I trusted you before we jumped off the moon base down to Phandalin!” He's back to yelling, and Lup winces at the noise. “Right after I let you out of that stupid fucking umbrella after being gone for twelve fucking years! And of course I had to say yes because the world was fucking ending!”

She feels like she got kicked in the chest by a horse, and she finds herself unable to breathe. “Taako, I–” She shakes her head. “So you don't trust me now too?” she asks quietly.

Taako stiffens again and stays silent for a moment. “I want to, Lup. I really do. But I honestly don't know because you broke our fucking sacred pact!”

Lup feels even more crushed and small than she already did which should have been impossible. “I'm so–”

“Remember when we were twelve? And we had just left Tía's?” Taako asks heatedly.

As he does, Lup can hear a tear in spacetime open up in the living room, but Taako's on a roll.

“You promised me that we were never going to be separated! You fucking promised me you weren't going to leave me! That we weren't going to leave each other!” He yells.

Silent tears roll down Lup's face, and she takes in a short gasp of air. “Taako, I swear it was an accident, and I'm so sorry. I promise I'm never going to leave you again.”

“Then tell me what I did wrong,” he demands. “Tell me what I did that made you not trust me.”

“You didn't do anything, Koko,” she whispers. “I do trust you.”

He continues to glare at her until they hear an awkward cough in the doorway to the kitchen. They both look over to see Barry standing there looking severely uncomfortable. “I uh... I just wanted to let you know that Kravitz won't be back until later. He has to finish up some paperwork on the other side.”

“Yeah, fine, whatever.” Taako mumbles. “I'm going to go lay down. And you–” He points a finger at Lup with one final glower on his face. “–you've gotta come up with a better answer than 'you do trust me' because that's obviously not true, and I need to know how to fix it. Or you could fuck off again. Your prerogative. See if I care. You know it isn't the first time someone's abandoned me, nor would it be the last because that's all anyone ever does. Including, apparently, you.”

“Taako, please...” Lup whispers, but he just pushes past Barry and storms down the hallway and up the stairs.

#taz #taz balance #taz fanfic #lup #taz lup #taako #taz taako #post story and song #written works of Gab

[umbraastaff]

(prev)

There's a lich in the umbrella. Barry's pretty sure of that.

He feels bad for them, whoever they are. But also, it's really not his problem. Having another lich running free would be neutral at best, and at worst would be another thorn in his side. Besides, they're clearly safe in there: Kravitz is apparently unaware of them, or may just be ignoring them in order to better flirt with the elf.

Maybe Barry could cozy up to those three, too, and then Kravitz wouldn't bother him anymore. But that's not really his style, is it? He's not good at making friends, forming connections. People with friends don't turn themselves into liches.

Well, anyway. Kravitz is out of his way for now, and he's going to make the most of it. When the trio breaks out of Refuge's frozen bubble, he's ready. And sure enough, like they always do when they go on one of these little excursions together, they've come out carrying a powerful artifact.

Magnus gasps when Barry reveals himself, then stands in a defensive position. "Guys!" He hisses. "It's one of the Red Robes!"

"Yeah, it's, uh, definitely a robe that is red," Barry says. "Never joined a team about it, though. I did think we were on a team, sort of, back when I helped you with the blood and the map and everything, but I guess that wasn't enough to be worth your heroism."

"...Barry Bluejeans?" Taako realizes, incredulous. Oh, so they do remember that, at least. He always thought his name was pretty distinct.

"Um, we did save your life!" Merle adds, annoyed.

"And then left me to burn!" Sparks crackle across Barry's form, making all three of them step back warily. "Not that you give a shit-- Me and that halfling and hundreds of others who didn't happen to have their souls dragged back from the brink--"

Magnus says, "We-- we didn't want--"

"Enough!" They're all flung back, exposing the cup. That has to be it; he can feel it, and they're all scrambling to get back to it like they know--

He scoops up the artifact, and time freezes around him. That's good-- he gathered from the boys' discussion before they entered the bubble, from snippets between the static, that it might be related to time.

I can help you erase your worst mistakes, comes the voice snaking into his head.

"Oh, good," he says. "I mean, I don't need-- that. Probably. But if you can do that, then it means you can see my past in the first place. That right?"

The scene around him changes-- flashes of his childhood, of his mother. Then forward, to studying in school, to college. Static slowly overtakes more and more of the memory until they're submerged in it, a complete wash of nothing.

"What is this?" he asks, even though he's pretty sure he already knows.

There are large pieces missing from your history. If you can't remember something, can't regret it, then I can't alter it. 

"That's some shitty divination."

Yeah, well, time travel is more of a conjuration-transmutation thing.

"Okay, well, can-- Can you show me anything useful? Can you show me when I became a lich?"

Again, it shows him only what he remembers: through the haze of static, he sits and reads and reads and reads. He talks to other masses of static that are just as likely to be coworkers as they are walls. No hint of where he was. No hint of why.

He really thought this was going to be the answer.

"Fuck!" What kind of idiot rips their soul out and does it so badly their memory gets fucked up? What kind of idiot rips their soul out? He's not a leader, and he's not smart enough to know anything aside from how much he really shouldn't be a leader, so what the hell did Barry Bluejeans ever think he was gonna do with power?

We could undo it, says the cup. Maybe. To be completely honest, I don't know how well I could anchor a timeline in a memory like this, but we could at least try--

"What, and then I get blasted to hell in Phandalin? Look, I'm not a fan of being in this state, but I wasn't exactly ready to die."

It flicks forward through more of his memories. He turns the cup over in his hands, tapping its sides, examining the enchantment.

Well, what about Phandalin? You could avoid dying!

"Right. Uh, it's a pain, but not a big enough pain to, y'know, put a whole diverged timeline on my conscience."

You could save everyone else!

That makes him pause.

"No, I don't think I could," he says finally. "I mean-- I was there. I did try. I'm literally one guy, and that dwarf blew up a town."

It keeps flicking through his memories. "Having trouble?"

The thing is, aside from the death Phandalin sprung on him, Barry Bluejeans has not led a very exciting life. He's done very few things of note, at least that he can remember. His parents both passed away in ways that he'd never have been able to prevent, and nobody else has ever been all that close to him. It's kind of hard to have huge, life-changing regrets when you haven't ever done shit.

The artifact in his hands is starting to shake, he realizes. And glow. That seems bad.

I've had my every offer rejected. How are all of you so stubborn?

The bindings of the artificing are coming loose. Whatever held this thing together, it clearly doesn't react well with getting rejected.

And they're going to take me and destroy me, put me on a shelf, it doesn't matter. I'll never be what I was again. But if nobody uses me, then I can't be what I am now, either! Its voice sounds different in his head, now: less of a "voice echoing from speaking into a cup" and more like a "myriad of voices speaking in chorus."

Barry considers tossing this thing before it explodes in his hands. He's not totally sure if it'll work, though, and he's not really into the idea of leaving it to explode on all these frozen people.

"Well-- hey-- If you can be something else-- Can you be something that actually can do good divination? 'Cause I'd for sure use that."

It's hot in his hands. You would? Yes-- Yes! You can reshape me. You can use me. I can be so much more than just this!

"Great! Great, I'm just gonna get us the hell outta here before you forget how to freeze time, 'cause, uh, I don't want to get into an actual fight with a wizard." And he prepares to teleport them away, back to his warded lair.

So maybe Barry Bluejeans does have some use for power.

#taz balance #the adventure zone #the eleventh hour #barry bluejeans #taz fanfic #mine #writes #balance #barry #au #happy ''barnes and noble please deliver my copy of eleventh hour'' wednesday

[cataztrophi]

“Could I get a mai tai?” The man slid his credit card across the bar and Taako snatched it up with a million-watt smile. 

“Coming right up, my dude! Leave it open?”

The man nodded and Taako started a tab for him at the register. Then he grabbed a shaker from the bar, flipped it twice in the air, and set it back down.

“Lup! White rum!”

Lup nodded and tossed the bottle from the speed rack towards him. “Heads up!”

Taako caught it with a practiced ease and upended the bottle into the shaker he had already filled with ice. From the other end of the bar, there was a flash of fire as Lup lit up a shot of 151. She only broke out the fire when they were sure Davenport and Lucretia weren't around. In fairness to her, that one frat boy had only burned his eyebrows off because he was too dumb to put the flaming cocktail out before he drank it.

It was Saturday at the Starblaster, and Taako was in his element. The music was cranked up to a volume that shook the walls, colored spotlights swarmed over the floor and the crowds of dancers, and the heat and frenzied movement kept sweating patrons rushing to the bar in waves for something ice cold and served by Yours Truly with a wink. Grinning, Taako shoveled ice into a hurricane glass and dumped the rest of the ingredients into the shaker. He flipped up a smaller shaker, slammed it down on the first, and began mixing the drink. 

Taako and Lup had developed a knack for showy bartending during the five years they had worked at the Starblaster. On nights like this, with thirsty customers crowded around the bar, they worked in perfect tandem, effortlessly orbiting each other like the twin suns of a binary system. Unfortunately, not everyone in the bar shared that ability. As Taako threw back his arm, it collided with something solid and the shaker slipped out of his hand. Taako heard a soft “oof,” followed by the sound of tin smashing into tile and ice scattering across the floor.

He whirled around to see Kravitz standing behind him, his white dress shirt and gray vest dripping with spilled mai tai. 

“Fuck!” Double fuck. Of all the times to lose track of the guy he’d been checking out for the past month…. Taako grabbed a towel from under the bar and began dabbing at Kravitz’s clothes. “Sorry, my dude! In my defense, you shouldn't get behind me when I'm shakin'.”

Kravitz grimaced. “I'll try to remember that. And it's no problem, I'll just….” He picked up a handful of cocktail napkins and attempted to dry himself off, but only succeeded in creating a mushy wad of paper that stuck to his clothes and hands.

“Here, Taako, I’ll take over bartending,” Barry said, appearing as he so often did at the moment he was needed. “You should help Kravitz find some dry clothes.”

“I owe you one, Barold,” Taako said, clapping Barry on the shoulder before turning towards the door that led to the employees only area. “Come on, my fella. I think Magnus has some spare t-shirts lying around that should fit you.” Kravitz followed behind him, still doing his best with the cocktail napkins.

“So, is this the first time you got spilled on?” Taako asked as they reached the back room where they left their bags during their shifts. If he made enough small talk, maybe he could drown out the voice in his head telling him he’d just blown any shot he had with Kravitz.

“No, I spilled a pitcher of water on myself my first week. It's the first one since that, though.”

“Not bad for your first month! Here's a Taako Pro Tip: always keep at least one spare outfit with you. You gotta be prepared for when wardrobe disaster strikes.” He found Magnus' bag and began rooting around in it.

“And you're sure Magnus won't mind?”

“Nah, we borrow his shit all the time. Well, ‘borrow….’ Aha!” He pulled out a black t-shirt and waved it triumphantly in the air like a flag. “It might be a little big on you, but-”

The words died in Taako's throat as he turned around to find that Kravitz had unbuttoned his shirt and vest and was now in the process of shrugging out of them. Taako felt heat creeping up his face. He was staring, he knew he was staring, but fuck. His mind wandered and he imagined pressing his hands to Kravitz’s chest, feeling the muscles move under his hands as Kravitz wrapped his arms around him…. Then winding his arms around Kravitz’s neck and pulling him down for a kiss….

“Uh… Taako?”

“What? Oh! Here.” He thrust the t-shirt in Kravitz’s direction. A few dark lines on Kravitz’s ribs caught his eye. “Hang on–is that a tattoo?”

Kravitz pulled the shirt on. It was definitely too big, but it would do for the night. “Yeah.”

“Huh.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know, you just seem sort of straight-laced.”

“Maybe I just take a while to warm up to people.” He met Taako’s eyes, holding his gaze for just a moment too long. Was it just him, or was the room getting smaller?

He swallowed hard. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

Kravitz blinked, breaking the tension between them. Taako was a little sorry to see it go. “What?”

Taako grinned. “Show-and-tell, my man. I’ll tell you about my tattoo if you tell me about yours.”

He hesitated for a moment. “It’s not on your ass, is it?”

Taako snorted. “Are you kidding? I’m not giving that away for free. Here.” He pulled down the neck of his crop top to expose one shoulder and turned his back to Kravitz. After another moment of hesitation, Kravitz stepped closer to see the small tattoo right next to his shoulder blade. It was a deep red umbrella, half-open.

“Lup has one just like it,” Taako explained. “We got it for our 18th birthday. We moved around a lot as kids–you know, relatives, foster homes, stuff like that–so we really only had each other. It’s our way of saying that we’ll always have each other’s backs.”

“That’s… really sweet.” Kravitz heaved a sigh, and for a moment Taako was worried that he'd pushed too hard. He did that sometimes, and Lup always told him it would get him into trouble. Not that she was any better. Then Kravitz continued. “It's a few bars from Fauré's Pavane in F-sharp minor. My tattoo, I mean. I always loved that piece. I used to imagine myself conducting it, back when I was studying music.”

“What happened?”

Kravitz shrugged. “Oh, you know, the usual. Things got in the way. Life, money, dwindling funding for the arts….”

Taako nodded. “Man, I know how that goes. Well, it's a rad tattoo anyway.”

The faintest smile turned up the corners of Kravitz’s lips. “Thanks.” He glanced at the clock over the door. “We should probably get back.”

He was right, but for the first time in five years Taako wasn’t itching to get back to the adrenaline rush of a packed house. “Yeah, gotta keep Lup from burning the place down.”

Kravitz chuckled and headed for the door. Taako lingered for a moment, fumbling with his phone.

“Hey, Krav?”

Kravitz turned around, his hand on the doorknob. “Yeah?”

Taako held up his phone, which was playing the opening notes of the Fauré Pavane. “This song slaps.”

Krav smiled and, without another word, disappeared through the door.

The rest of the night passed in a blur, and Taako constantly found himself biting back a smile. He knew if Lup caught him grinning she would tease him about it for months. She had already done the obligatory "suggestive eyebrow waggle" at him when he and Kravitz had returned from the back room. He finished his shift exhausted but happy, with a vague plan to catch Kravitz on his way out and see if he wanted to grab some 4 a.m. breakfast at the diner around the corner. When he headed to the back, though, Kravitz’s bag was already gone.

“Did Kravitz leave already?” he asked Magnus, who was just closing out his shift as a bouncer. 

“Yeah, he was only on till 3 today. He left a while ago.” He began digging more forcefully through his bag. “Hey Taako, have you seen my spare t-shirt? I could have sworn I brought one today….”

“Nope! No clue, sorry, my dude.” He tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his chest. 

Despite his disappointment, he managed to convince Lup and Barry to join him at the diner, and they were chatting happily as they left the bar. As soon as he got to the parking lot, he saw something bright pink sail past him and explode on the asphalt, splashing his legs with frigid water. He gasped at the sudden cold and whirled around just in time to see Kravitz hurling another water balloon in his direction. This one hit him square in the chest, and he squealed in surprise and shock. Kravitz was laughing, a good, deep laugh that Taako hadn’t heard from him before.

“Ceasefire!” Taako raised his arms above his head. Lup was collapsed against Barry, roaring with laughter. Kravitz paused mid-windup for his next throw, then dropped the water balloon back into the bucket at his feet.

“I figured turnabout was fair play,” Kravitz said, still chuckling. Taako walked towards him, hands held limply above his head.

“Okay, fair enough.” Taako was smiling now, too. At this time of year, the temperature was almost 80 even before the sun rose, and the cold water was a welcome reprieve. “That’s a lot of balloons,” he said, peering down into the bucket.

Kravitz shrugged. “I wasn’t sure how good my aim would be.”

“Looked pretty good from here!” Lup hollered from across the parking lot. 

He smiled and looked down at the bucket as well, scratching the back of his neck. “Not sure what I’ll do with the rest of these now…”

Taako picked one up and tossed it experimentally in one hand. “Oh, I think I have an idea.”

Kravitz braced for impact against a point-blank attack, but Taako whirled around and hurled the balloon directly at Lup. She attempted to dodge but it hit her in the shoulder, making her yelp at the sudden cold.

“Oh, I’m gonna get you for that!” She sprinted towards Taako, and he took off running, zigzagging between the few cars still left in the lot. While Kravitz was distracted, Barry pushed past him and grabbed the bucket, taking a second to smash a balloon into Kravitz’s chest.

In a moment, they devolved into all-out water balloon warfare, with Kravitz and Taako allying themselves against the juggernaut of Lup’s chaos and Barry’s strategy. Both teams succeeded in stealing the bucket of ammunition several times, and the fight only ended once the last balloon collided with Barry’s back, leaving his jeans soaked.

“I haven’t laughed that hard in weeks,” Taako gasped, bracing his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.

Kravitz grinned, still panting. “Me neither.” Behind them, Lup was chasing Barry around with her jacket, trying to wring it out over his head.

Taako straightened up and began squeezing some of the water out of his braid. “I don’t suppose you brought towels with you.”

Kravitz shook his head. “Sorry, I didn’t think that far ahead.”

“Guess we’d better head home and change, then.”

He nodded. “Unless….”

Taako’s eyebrows went up. “Unless?”

Kravitz started wringing out a corner of his borrowed t-shirt, suddenly so engrossed in the task that he couldn’t meet Taako’s eyes. “Well, it’s just… I have dry clothes at my place. If you wanted to… you know….”

Despite his wet clothes, Taako suddenly felt too hot. “Oh! I mean, yeah! Let’s go… dry off.” 

He waved across the parking lot at Lup. “I’ll catch you guys later!” She wolf-whistled at him, and he flipped her the bird before climbing into the passenger seat of Kravitz’s car. He smiled at Kravitz as he climbed in, and Kravitz smiled back, a little nervously. 

“So, Krav, do you have any other tattoos?”

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”

“Ooh, naughty! It’s a deal.”

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