#tbh i wanted to keep them for myself!!

[aurorangen]

Sim Dump #1 | Male Sims

As promised here is my first sim dump for reaching 1k and ofc it's some handsome men to liven up your game! You can do whatever you want, be it for the girls or the guys, so show these sims some looove. Thank you so much for all the support and for enjoying my content. There's much more to come and I hope you like this gift!

Details:

Don’t claim as your own and/or reupload

Don't change their features drastically

Only everyday outfit (all cc is included)

All credits go to the CC creators

Feel free to tag me so I can see

PLS don’t do anything weird to them

DOWNLOAD (sfs)

#ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 cas #sims 4 cas #my sims #sim download #sim dump #male sims #tbh i wanted to keep them for myself!! #i get too attached to all the sims i make #it happened with oscar #i made him first then said NOPE im keeping him and now hes in tjol #so take care of these sims and PLS DONT DO ANYTHING WEIRD!!! #sorry i wont be reblogging them in gameplays if you do use them #only sims i made specific for ppl #but id still love to see so tag me! #if any of my close mutuals want a sim from me then feel free to dm #ill go with a theme for sim dumps! this one is brown eyed hotties 😘 #and ill be back with postcard soon!!

[oniomn]

the siblings are on a road trip!!!!

ty @witchstormm for the little comic idea <33

#i needed more sibling content of them so i did it myself LOL #tbh i dont like how the seatbelts look but i wanted them to be road safe… #there’s so much to do with this concept #wiggly would probs drive like a maniac #pokey would record himself singing and blast it on aux #the trunk is full of toys and snacks to keep nibbly and tinky at bay #maybe blinky will have an ipad #starkid #lords in black #the lords in black #team starkid #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #nerdy prudes must die #starkid fanart #npmd #wiggly #pokey #nibbly #blinky #tinky #wiggog y'wrath #pokotho #nibblenephim #bliklotep #t’noy karaxis

[ganondoodle]

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

#ganondoodles talks #also probably sounds like self pity #but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist #i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think #but the internet never gets to see that much of me #i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere #so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing #i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out #i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with #i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong #im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh #it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again #sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with- #-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it #doesnt sound like a good excuse #... i want to thank those that do stick with me #even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise #there are little things that still make me angry at myself #like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing #and i got two #and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop #i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late #i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom #no matter how much i enjoy the ask #and i love getting asks!!! #im sorry :((

[mattodore]

salt in our memories

#river dipping #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 edit #ts4 cas #simblr #editing recent-ish cas screenshots of them in outfits and poses that everyone has already seen before. groundbreaking. #i was just trying to make myself feel better by doing something mindless for a bit but it didn't work so . now i'm just sitting here #there are two more screenshots that i edited but tumblr keeps crunching on them and tbh i just want to go lay down #maybe i'll add them here later but probably not i love wasting my own time <3 new edits after three weeks tho so there's that #caption is just a quote from salt by chelsea wolf which is one of theo's playlist songs #bc i fr had nothing else in mind for it 🤷 #ik i said i'd get to my activity but i really don't feel up to it #i'm just gonna read i think and maybe write a little later #okay. bye 👋

[spiderfreedom]

Not a female separatist but I'm forever grateful to them for introducing the idea of just centring women in our lives. Focusing on women artists, scientists, writers, showrunners, businessowners... and where we don't see women in those positions, asking why, and what can we do to help. Focusing on female friends and female family. Building relations and community among women to help women. Spending your $$ money $$ on women. You don't need to be a full separatist to incorporate this into your life, and imagine what women could accomplish if we just decided to focus on uplifting women as a class.

#female separatism #radical feminism #i simply do not read novels by men anymore and i don't think i'm missing much #there are a handful of male artists i listen to because there are simply no women in those genres i like and i'm not here to do tokenism #but majority of my artists i listen to? women #if there were more female tradespeople around here i would SO hire them #but there aren't so i'm hiring men and trying to learn the skills myself in the meanwhile so I can help a fellow girl out #it's not about hating men tbh. it's about imagining a world centered on women. it's legitimately healing and loving #it's inspiring to see other women succeed. makes YOU want to succeed to. and then you can inspire another woman... chain goes on #shoutout to all yall doing real separatism #i respect that. but im here for now #keep fighting the good fight......

[danothan]

tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things

#sounds kinda obvious but i only just realized it lmao #feels like i have to grieve a lot of my goals now but no one said the healing process would be easy #danbles #and for anyone else that has a disability that prevents them from doing smth #or trauma that makes certain triggers limit their opportunities #or neurotypes that make it harder for them to love smth like they used to #or whatever else #i don’t want to make it sound like you have to give up on the things that make you happy #I’M certainly not going to #but a huge value of mine has always been experiencing everything life had to offer #and everytime that backfires (whether it’s burnout; triggering a flashback; triggering an episode; putting strain on my body; etc) #i always just thought to myself ‘it was bad timing’ or ‘i haven’t gotten better yet’ bc the endgoal was to always get to that point where #i could experience it. i want to try new things all the time. i want to feel normal and be included in everything #but if smth keeps Making Me Feel Bad then maybe there isn’t a version of myself that can take it on #it’s not resilience to put yourself in harm’s way #idk how well i’ll be able to put this into practice tbh. i rly rly like exploring different experiences #even negative ones are valuable to me #but the least i can do for myself is recognize that i might not always be the problem #maybe i’ve already hit the limit on all the self-work i can do. maybe it’s the environment or situation itself that’s the problem #fuuck guys ​i feel like i’m going thru a stage of grief here why is this shit so hard 💀

[crescentfool]

I noticed you're a Ryomina!!! How did you get into it? And do you have any good fanfics/doujinshi you can advice me to read? ANYTHING on Ryomina actually? I'm dying for anything about them!!! Thanks!!

yes!!! it's me!!! i'm ryomina fan (one of many)!!! thank you for visiting my askbox, i'll do my best to answer all of the questions because it always makes me happy to see that ryomina sparks joy for people! :D

...this got really long because i like linking to things, so i'm putting it under a read more (IM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM)

how did i get into it? i got into persona 3 around august 2021 through the movies- at the time my only experience with the persona series was with P5R / P5S / P5D. p3 was the one that interested me the most (i thought minato was very pretty + i caught wind that the themes of the game were very resonant with people). i picked the movies over the game because i'm a guy who plays games at a snails pace, haha.

admittedly, i did latch onto ryomina because of the scenes in the third and fourth movie (i have mentioned in the tags of this art i drew how much i felt like i was exploding and blasting off to the moon watching it).

but what really dug me into the ryomina hole (and what has kept me there) was thinking about how much ryoji encapsulates the themes of p3- and how interconnected his fate is with minato. i wrote some musings about their dynamic here, if you're interested!

tl;dr: what if we were both boys and we were mirror images of each other and i inherited your kindness and looks but god doomed our narrative even though we're soulmates

on ryomina fanworks recommendations:

regarding fics: i'm going to assume that you've probably read the fics that have the highest kudo ratings on them, so i won't really be listing those.

a personal favorite fic that i always hold close to my heart is Eurydice's Vow by crescentmoontea, which explores the idea of ryomina in p5r's third semester. this was the first fic i read about ryomina and it made me tear up lots...

i also think a lot about I Alone Await You by Nail_gun, literally scrumptious writing that captures the ryomina dynamic so so well. actually check out Nail_gun's other ryomina fics while you're at it too!

other fun fic i'm fond of: can't get my mind out of those memories (what were they?) by foxmulder_whereartthou. ryoji being homeless lives rent free in my head and it's all because of this fic. there's a bunch of other fun ryominas from the same author too (i still need to read them)

BkZa555 also has some fun AU scenarios if you're into that too, notably with Zagreus (P5-Setting, Ryoji focus) and The Definition of Insanity (TIME LOOP fuckery!), but they're currently ongoing.

these were some ones that came to my mind first- as i have the strongest recollection reading them. admittedly i haven't really been reading fic this year, so i don't have many recommendations from fic that came out this year. but if you're so inclined to let ryomina consume your soul, i definitely recommend giving the newer works in the ryomina tag a look-see and see if it strikes your fancy!

as a side note, i do have a few ryomina fics that i've bookmarked on my ao3 here, though i have to say that i'm not sure how well they hold up in terms of like... what i would seek out of a fic these days. but they made past me happy so i bookmarked them, LOL. it's kind of outdated (my collection of fic recs has my old username *disintegrates*).

regarding doujinshi: i have not read all the ryomina doujinshi available, but as a starting point, please take a look at this list from pandora-scans from livejournal!

notably, this is where you can find the strawberry-chan say good bye doujin- which features a small and cute comic from shuji sogabe (the p3/p4 manga artist), as well as other artists. the existence of this doujinshi is the funniest thing to me because it's like "HEY if you're wondering what the volume 8 cover is really gay it's because sogabe contributed to a ryomina doujin." this fact makes my head spin (positive). it explains a lot about the manga.

regarding persona side material:

i know you didn't ask for these but i thought that i mine as well list these too, since i feel that the side materials have some fun expansions on ryoji and minato's interactions. i haven't... watched/read all of these but, hey, i like to share these things!

for comic anthologies for the persona series (some of which have ryoji!). if you're interested in reading them, here's a scanlation index from maboroshi-no on tumblr. i don't think this is a comprehensive list, but i think it will be a great starting point!

for some translations of the persona 3 drama cds, check out imaginary-numbers on dreamwidth! ryoji and minato interactions can specifically be found in the persona 3 character drama cd vol. 1, and for the audio + english subs, you can watch this video on youtube:

and ohh the musical. ryoji singing and dancing gives me so much joy. i haven't watched the musical in it's entirety (only fragments), but here are some links that may be of interest to you:

Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Sakuya version - playlist for the first p3 musical, translated by Phoenix Maiika.

Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Kotone version - playlist for the femc version!! also translated by Phoenix Maiika on YouTube.

Persona 3: The Weird Masquerade (English Subtitles) - playlist by rumio!

P3 Weird Musical DVD & Soundtrack Booklet Scans by rumio_k - twitter thread that links to these funsies, if you don't have twitter, here's the publicly shared drive link.

god. these sure are a lot of links, huh? i hope you enjoy them- pick and choose whatever sounds most appealing! (if this overwhelmed you im sorry GKLHLDH i just like being very comprehensive in my answers about things so i got carried away).

and as a reminder, you (and anyone else reading) are always welcome to browse my tags/archive and reblog things from there anytime! i have... nearly 300 ryomina posts which, while mostly consists of art, has a few fics, meta, hcs, gifs, memes, and whatnot scattered about.

or browse the minato and ryoji tags too! there's.. nearly 1k minato. and 500 ish ryoji. and they're going to keep on growing because i can't stop being obsessed with archiving these things. god help me i am so deep in this hole called ryomina hell and now you're here too. welcome aboard!

there's always going to be a lot of fun ways to enjoy rotating ryomina around in one's brain, i think- they're a pairing with such fun symbolic imagery that is So Deep (to me) but ALSO they're immensely hilarious and weird guys (affectionate). so i love to share these things in hopes that it gives you joy too! they are the most couple ever (to me) (i'm biased)

thank you again for the ask! i hope it can satiate your need for more ryomina, and be a nice aide in exploring the p3 fanspace :)

#ohhh do i even main tag this #fuck it we ball i'll tag it #lizzy askbox #persona 3 #ryomina #ryoji mochizuki #minato arisato #i'm in a bit of a hiatus in terms of like.. looking at new ryomina stuff outside of fan art so i haven't seen Everything #but i would like to get back to it when i can be more cognizant and present to appreciate them #the grind to being a ryomina encyclopedia never stops! #my files and links are all messy i can hardly keep track of all the ryomina things... maybe i just need to make a neocities- #like cat's souyo archive (cat is an inspiration to me) #but FUCK man ryomina is so good. thank you for the follow and sending me this ask #i'm very sorry about the excessive length i can't help myself i'm very dedicated to wanting to know lots of things about them #i had a lot of fun answering this! #times like this make me want to return to like. my fic recommendation collection.. i gotta rehaul that stuff tbh #maybe after i've seen all the ryomina stuff i can make a ryomina iceberg based on what i've seen peple talk about (or not talk about) #it'll be a long while though. i feel like i've hardly scratched the surface even though i wouldn't call myself a casual enjoyer #ANYWAY BYE. no one ever apologize to me about being excessive because I AM very excessive and repetitive. LOL. have a good morning? evening

[itspileofgoodthings]

my life is a very slow process of everyone around me telling me not to be anxious and me fighting them all tooth and nail while inching towards more stable mental health.

#I know it’s not true but sometimes I feel like if I didn’t have anxiety I would not suffer at all #which. again. is false #but there’s a lot of things I don’t want in this life and a lot of things I am not scared of and a lot of things I just accept #and like. It’s FINE #but all my suffering from anxiety stays in one fixed flame of sheer agony #and it’s hard because I don’t shake like a chihuahua in the corner of my bedroom #unable to move or function #I’m always doing things and functioning and joking at parties and (generally) saying the right thing #but it’s all located in one corner in the middle of my mind attacking my ability to make judgments and live with my decisions peacefully #like an unseen wound #and the distance i feel it puts between me and other people #is one of the most painful things #just several sheets of frosted glass between me and them #and sometimes the worst it gets is when I can bear it without breaking down and so I just do and I just keep functioning #and the cold just creeps in and everything goes kind of numb! #tbh now that I think about it this might be why I often think of myself as a person with no desires or ambitions or dreams #or impetus or forward motion or anything #because I DO want things and have opinions and the exist in flashes. But also they’re buried deep under several layers of protective apathy #so they’re not stable. I drop them many times. forget them ignore them imagine that they aren’t there. I’m sorry I’m rambling I’m FINE #actually when I talk about it that’s how you know I’m doing okay with it #when I can’t talk about it and am half-heartedly going through the motions #that’s the problem #anyway whew. thanks for listening sorry for all the self-reflection etc. etc. etc.

[torra-and-the-toons]

I like to think Jimmy and Edd have a very special friendship, one where they understand each other whole-heartedly in a way that each individual doesn’t quite have with their usual group of friends. So naturally, in my version of their older selves, Edd is the one Jimmy turns to when they start feeling confused about their identity. And Edd is the one who helps them find it. 

#my doodles #ed edd n eddy #edd eene #jimmy eene #a fistful of ed really sold me on Edd and Jimmy tbh #I feel like Jimmy would be scared to come out to the others #yes even Sarah #especially sarah #what if they don't accept them? #or respect their new pronouns? #what if they lose their friends over who they feel like they truly are? #but Edd isn't like that #Edd is kind and understanding #He is someone they can turn to with any problem and he'll never laugh at them #sorry for the really messy comic btw that couple days of non-stop work kicked my ass and I'm trying to get my creative streak back #I wanted t erase it so bad bc I hate how sloppy it is but I forced myself to keep it

[dreamwinged]

good morning everyone :( i am in a Funk really bad and i wanna say it’s school but i know it’s a bit deeper than that. i dunno what to do i just feel weird… i hope everyone is having a good day tho imy guys :’)

#.mei’s chatter ˚༘⋆ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ #yk when you wake up and you just feel like you haven’t slept at all #pretty sure i even dreamed abt my problems bc when i woke up they were instantly on my mind #it’s like this sick feeling #ik it’s a lot of stuff combined and the feelings r just manifesting thru smaller stuff but it still sucks so bad #idunno…. what if im not good enough for f/os and i should drop them all and let them Be Free.. #im just not feeling good abt myself i guess. i think im scared to go home tbh #one week til i go home… :( #then i have to get my wisdom teeth out and start my new job and see my friends again who bully me for fun #can’t wait……….. #im going to try to keep learning japanese hopefully that helps me yk #to have a hobby to throw myself into #i don’t know… i guess it’s a plus that i don’t have school again til august #maybe something good will happen in that time. maybe i’ll get better #maybe i need a therapist but aaaahhhh…… scary….. it’s harder now that im older and no one can make me go #i just am unsure that i can be fixed atp i don’t know if i can have a normal life or if i’ll just always be this way #hhhh…. i don’t want to go home at least here i feel somewhat happy

[dandyshucks]

one of the kiddos really loves rabbits and we're not able to really do much for Easter related activities irl so I thought I'd draw them with their favourite rabbit 'mon ... perhaps a gift from Guz,,,,,

#i keep going back and forth on whether i want to share system related drawings here but fhdksl this one's too cute to keep to myself #(i made sure everyone was okay w me posting this before this so djdkdl i got the go-ahead from the parts ''in charge'' so to speak) #its funny though bc i thought they'd like buneary the most but nope fjfkdl its scorbunny #when they were front a while back Sunny got them set up w a pinboard so they could save a bunch of cute pkmn art to it fhdkdl #and its mainly scorbunny and teddiursa dbdkdl very good choices tbh #anyways Guz would be SOOO good with them i just know it #it'd be very cute to watch them interact tbh fjdkdl he'd be so kind and gentle w them #also I'd love to watch him struggle to keep up with one of the other kiddos DBFHDKL he'd have to nap after being around her for long LMAO #OUGGHHHH he'd be such a good dad tbh but ... no children for me thanks DBDJDKL i got enough to deal with as is #but ... perhaps i can indulge a little and just make some more art of him interacting w the system kiddos... SOBS i love him sm #ANYWAYS IM A SAPPY FOOL. WAUGH. this is a weird post maybe but fhjdkl i think the art turned out so cutes :3 #its not perfect but i also havent drawn any full body poses properly in... at least 2 weeks or smth #💜so good at being in trouble #💜a boy and his bug🪲 #doodlebug.png #dandy.cmd

[spaghett-onaplate]

sixth day at my new school and i didn't sit alone at lunch today 🥳🥳

#woohoo!! #some girls invited me to sit with them so i did and chatted to them and this other guy #some of them are in my classes!! they were all very nice #honestly i was aiming to just try and fit in with the cishet boys and last week when i heard the rumour i was gay i was kinda freaked out #but i've scoped out the situation and it's not unsafe to be out (as bi. not anyone's business i'm trans) #so i realise it's better to just be open and have better chances of finding the right people than living in fear and squashing myself to-- #--fit in with the wrong people. bc if i can't be fully myself around someone then why would i want to be good friends with them?? #so yar i'll stick with other queer guys and supportive girls. gay guy/straight girl friendships are stereotypical but it's an ecosystem tha #works in a situation like high school tbh #ooo and i guess he was away today but the guy from a couple of my classes who i think is cute is in that group so added bonus #o and actually unrelated but at recess i went to this queer group thing i was invited to by a teacher last week #(recess is first and lunch is sceond) #i wasn't sure if i was going to go (mostly bc of my 'blend in' mindset) but i'm glad i did!! it was pretty nice #mostly just nice to get an idea of 'safe' people and teachers yaknow #'people and teachers' -- those aren't two mutually exclusive categories of being ajdsgjf but ykwim #and if i didn't go then i probably wouldn't have been in the better mindset for being just myself with everyone at lunch #so wahoo yippee :D #now i just needa keep talking to everyone and putting myself out there a bit more and i'll find the right people :)

[heartsburst]

WHY MUST I ALWAYS GET INTO THE SADDEST FUCKING SHIPS WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF

#frankie yells #like fucking. sure any ship can be made sad if you try harder enough but also. fucking. why must it always be tragic little gays #im not complaining but also i keep fucking doing this to myself man why do i keep making myself sad over fictional gays 😭😭 #like do i just only interact with the shit that makes me sad??? do i only really get engaged with sad fics etc. for them???? #is this a me problem???? #like. um. griddlehark. destiel. hannigram (sort of). ash/eiji. satosugu. aziracrow. zukka (in certain directions). shory. aaronneil. #most of my ao3 bookmarks are me sobbing my eyes out... #OH WAIT ALSO FUCKING. REDDIE 😭😭😭😭😭 I KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOME BUT OMG REDDIEEEE #me like what if none of the mfs had a happy ending together? what then? #like babygirl are you okay??? why do you always want to be so sad?? #oh god also fucking [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]... both of which i had to stop reading fics for bc i was making myself too sad #like genuinely there is a certain very long fic that i had to put down bc i was making myself depressed #OHMYGOD I FORGOT WANGXIAN AND BINGQIU.... honestly mdzs and svsss in general... kicking my feet 1 moment and sobbing the next #there are sooo many ships in both of those that make me so very sad... too many to remember or list atm tbh #i should go to bed 💀 lmao #it's too late for this nonsense ans i shouldn't have been watching destiel and hannigram compilations in the first place... of course im #just making myself sad...

[mattodore]

found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...

i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…

#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down ! #river dipping #i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭 #none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page #which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done? #obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet... #i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭 #like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics? #i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑‍💻 #like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then #i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things #i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭 #like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain. #so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably #said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷 #and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more #i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!! #i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with. #...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just. #sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding. #i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!! #theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together

[zarovich]

pretty sure things from my past fucked me up so bad that nobody will love me. and even if they do, deep down ill still be afraid they may be lying

#personal #platonic or romantic. im too fucked up for a human to love me. animals do but thats different animals are easier for me to understand #i mean animals dont look at me in digust for being covered in scar tissue cuz cutting myself is the only way i can keep myself alive #or look at me with pity. to them im just a big creature even the wild animals who run away. theyre just scared i understand cuz i am too #i often feel like i am a feral animal. idk how to socialize i isolated myself so bad that everything isay seems wrong and foreign #im losing time lately too. ill realize days have past and i dont remember much of the on between this happens often and its bothers me #idont remember making that post yesterday at all my brain is like perpetually foggy #i feel as if i shouldnt talk about this tbh like even just on my own blog i feel like a burden and everyone wants me dead idk #im veryconfused

[skitskatdacat63]

I feel uninspired and lack motivation for art again so I thought of an ask game for me :)

Send me(or comment) a number from 1-34 and I will draw my corresponding oc

I mentally struggled over whether I should make this post, because ik ocs are niche and probably not many people care for it, but I realized I could have been using those hours to y'know. Actually draw something. So I might as well just post it

#i would do it with AUs but i would actually have to yknow think of a narrative #<- but tbh if you have any requests for au art i will take them 😭😭 #also w that and this i cant make any promises if ill actually finish them so please put up w me thanks 🙏 #i want to draw but #ive gotten into a bad mindset again #about measuring self worth w outside validation #which is very irritating 😾 stop it brain. #but yeah idk i reblog those posts often abt niche audiences #which im very okay w btw :) #but its still a very difficult thing to engrain that: ah people do care for my art! #and ik its unhealthy to seek validation #and i can and do draw for myself #but its not always fun to me if i cant discuss it yknow :/ #if catie makes a piece of art in a silent room does the art really exist? blah blah blah #i need to go suffocate myself in the snow #im happy my winter break is so long but at the same time i think it just puts me in a bad place mentally #lack of social interaction and lack of enrichment and no motivation ig :/ #and every night i mean to actually go to bed earlier and boom suddenly its 5 am #and i keep staying up in hopes ill actually yknow start something. art. writing. movie even #and then i just languish UGH #catie.rambling.txt