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dnphobe · 3 months

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i am so deeply fascinated by the specific culture of internet fame and the conflation of the brand and the personal that happens as the result of a form of fame uniquely reliant on (perceived) interpersonal connection rather than a specific professional output. and dan and phil are one of the only not-deeply-depressing examples bc they have semi-successfully escaped their original personas while still retaining boundaries with their audience. the straight man/fool schtick is still a part of their dynamic (bert and ernie fr) but they're able to be so tongue in cheek about it at this stage it's very interesting to me

it's like. such a specific thing. because to equate dan and phil to comediens (the closest comparison i can find to their careers but from traditional media. or even radio personalities (something they actually were for years)....i don't know anything about those people's personal lives, at least not until there's a scandal that breaks everyone's view of them because it doesn't match with their stage personas.

but dan and phil's jobs, and the majority of online public figures, pretty much Require some degree of personalisation. there's possibilities for that Not to happen, like with people who Just post short films, or even the comparatively more recent rise of video essayists (and before that commentary youtubers) where the focus is very much on a Topic. but the very First youtuber boom (compared to youtube Video boom) was very much. person sits in front of camera and tells you about their life. and that's what those youtubers did. except in all the ways they didn't both because they had to be entertaining and many Real things are simply...not entertaining or interesting to people who don't know you. so you exaggerate who you are and stretch the truth of the stories you tell. and second of all because...who Wants strangers to know them personally? i don't. there's things my closest friends don't know about me. because i don't Feel like sharing those things (i will clarify here i am a painfully private person who hates being perceived for no real reason. but i'm sure Everyone goes through this to some degree.

and YES. dan and phil have indeed semi-successfully escaped those personas and i feel like there's a lot of youtubers we can't say that about. like yes their audience isn't as big as it used to be, but i feel like next to none of that is because of people disliking the shedding of persona. i largely put it down to the following things: the passage of time. all 'celebrities' level of fame fluctuates, largely with a rise then fall, but potential for a rise again; tied to the passage of time many people consider dan and phil to be a part of their 'cringy' teenhood and haven't given their newer eras a chance due to their own internalised shame, and; yeah, a Large aspect of the phandom was the Mystery. Are they Gay, are they Together, Why won't they Tell us they are Gay and Together. then they told us they're gay and told us they're Not gonna tell us concretely they're together. I don't LIKE admitting this because those of us here are like. here for more than 'phan' (or out of genuine appreciation for their relationship rather than treating it as something to get to the Bottom of), but this Is proven by the numbers their click bait videos did.

that was a a tangent. now i am going to go on another one and theorize on Why dan and phil have gotten through their rebranding(s) largely unscathed:

so first of all the parasocialisation or whatever you want to call it in the fandom was. Always more intense than even many other similar fanbases. except it wasn't i Feel like i know you from your on screen persona. it was i Feel like i know you Past your persona and i know this persona isn't You. which makes us sound tinhat as hell, like oh we know you Better than the things you show us? except we were right (phannie mantra tbh). like there's a reason people were fighting tooth and nail for phil to say 'fuck' for so long and it's not because we were interested in seeing him be something different than he was, but because we were perfectly aware he was a man around the age of 30 who can and does say swears and we wanted him to be Him with us. in many ways we Always wanted them to shed the personas.

second of all, they timed shedding their personas Very well. they started doing it after tatinof, which, while many of us were still young we were getting Older and changing a lot ourselves. so we were adjusted to change in the way we wouldn't have been before. and they dropped it even more Post coming out, and, i mean, how are you gonna be mad about that? their sexuality is in a way very tangled up in the personas, and as a largely LGBT+ fandom we wanted them to be able to express this part of them they've been holding back freely, and if that comes with dropping Other facades then, well, the closet is a hell of a drug. like. of Course they are going to change after a Big Change. which is another thing. they always Communicated they were about to change. whether that's dan making a whole video on a rebrand and changing his hair, or post-baking universe, or post-coming out.

but mostly i think it's this: dan and phil CULTIVATED their audience. they learned not to surprise us with the backlash from tabinof's sudden announcement and then would pepper in hints for any project and any change months-years in advance. and if you didn't like the hints you were getting? you could leave. only here for the mystery? here's the line of what you're gonna get, you can leave. but the people who stayed are people who Stayed. they have a staying power where it wasn't just...trading in one group of kids for another when the first group ages out, or being left to flounder after the first group ages out. and the second they stopped having a young audience, they stopped trying to Appeal to a young audience when they stopped having one, locking those doors. and i think that maturing with us was very important bc look if they Were still in those 2015 personas? i wouldn't be here. i'd be like...thanks but i am too old for this. so, conversely to everything, i think shedding those personas was, in a way, only BENEFICIAL to them

does any of this makes sense lmao

#sorry for this essay hdjdjdkdl #i feel like i didn't even cover all ur points which i wish i did bc they are all So interesting #but 'ry shut up' kicked in #but i love talking abt their personas and perception and the evolution of it all #thank u for sending this to lil ole me!#asks

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pprodsuga · 2 months

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https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMMdSrY9D/ for you 🫶🏽

OH MY GOD.

his jawline…his eYEBROWS…his skin his eyes his mouth his NOSE!!!!!!!!!!! AND W JUNGHWA NO LESS i honestly don’t know who i’m more jealous of tbh

sunghoon if ur free on saturday then i’m also free on saturday because i would like to hang out when I’m free which is on saturday

#ask #I want to kiss his nose ):#so bad #LIKE SOOOO BAD #thank u for sending you’re so cute ily #and for thinking of lil ol me #but girl aren’t u supposed to be studying #don’t worry me and hee will come to keep u company #hana

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ayyponine · 11 months

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girl help im going back n forth on whether or not i should send an email to thank the beautiful man fr letting me join the drawing session last week (more info on that entire situation here and here) and letting him know i probably wont be back but appreciate having had the experience either way. great or horrible idea leave a comment or DM to lmk.

#anyway more nuance on the whole situation is this. i am very single and this guy keeps being on my mind but i do not have any read on him #the last contact we had was me makin an ass of myself by going like hehe yeah this was nice everyone was nice ok yall have a nice evenin bye #while my heart was like visibly pounding out of my chest and u could probably see on my face i was internally thinking girl shut UP!!! LEAVE #so im like ok either hes weirded out by me so let me say thx AGAIN now in a composed way AND giving him peace of mind knowing i wont be back #unless?? i was not as awkward as i thought & get reassured i can return any time and then i could still b like thanks! and just Not go #i mean even then he might say it's fine even if he IS uncomfrtable w me just to 1. be nice and 2. make money w a participant locked in yknow #it does NOT help that the line btwn casual and professional was like NOT there btw its him just hosting the event as we all do our art idkkk #anyway if you THINK youve PROBABLY been a lil off is it better to 1. have a do-over and get closure or 2. fuck off forever hoping u never #like EVER run into the dude again and be awkward AGAIN bc well! u live in the same city and are both into art so?? there IS a possibility #I CAN SEE THE PROS AND CONS OF BOTH OPTIONS REALLY #yay for sending email: get a response get some clarity NOW. nay for sending email: girl u met him twice. please. leave the stranger alone <3 #the one positive abt me feeling Dumb and Embarrassing is at least every time i think back i heave a Big Ole Sigh. feels nice tbh feels good #sad part is i rediscovered how much i love doing art and want to improve. would love to return it was so cheap.. pleek ill get over my crush

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namis-daydream · 2 years

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Henlo Nami Wami 💜💜💜💜💜

I will give you all the cuddles n kisses you desire 🥺🫶🏾💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

I love you sm and I’m sorry you had a really shitty week :((((

I’ll make a pillow fort for u with plushies n pillows n pretty lights and we can vibe in there and shoo all the bad away.

Any snack you want is yours and anything you wanna watch we will ówò

If I could morph into your faves I surely would and love on you sm sm sm

Oh oh oh oh oh oh my heart, you absolute perfection of a gift dere i cri oh my god

Thank you so much bby you have no idea how much it meant to me that you sent this im tearing up how can you be this sweet and real?? Like its too good to be true🥺

Cuddling you forever and never leaving bc im love you sm its making my aching breaking heart CLENCH in the best way🥺💗💗💗💗

#sobbing so hard rn youre the cutest thing in the whole wide world #i love u sm thank u v much for taking the time to send this to lil ol sad me #who wants favs and snacks when i got u to nibble on and cuddle endlessly #･ﾟ`☁️ 𝕝𝕦𝕔𝕚𝕕 𝕕𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕤 ☁️`ﾟ･ — 『🍭🧸』

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cupoftaae · 11 months

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HII i'd like to request prompt 11 "give me time, give us time" for kookiee? and if its ok id like to give u a small plot just in case you dont know how to work with this if thats okay 🥺

so the tiny tannie lil ol plot for this wuld be: jk being a bit of a workaholic (very much so.) and y/n is quite tired of it.. note that this is non!idol and married! :D they had a talk and a cool plot twist wuld be how y/n was actualy planning to surprise him abt being pregnant!!!GASPAND THEN KOOKIE NEVER NOTICED THE SYMPTOMS CUZ HES BEEN WORKING TOO MUCH!!! and like yeah she getzz rlly emotionsl

AND IF ITS OK CAN U GIVE LIKE AN AFTERMATH OF THIS? LIKE 1 OR 2 YEARS AWAY FROM THE ARGUMET? hope this isnt too much 😭

Hello!! oh my goodness this is so amazing, no one has given me a plot to write by, this is really cool and I hope that I do a good enough job portraying this for you! Thank you so much for sending this in <3

La La Land (JK drabble request)

warnings- mentions of drinking, angst, mentions of pregnancy, swearing, couple fighting, fluff, kissing (nothing major) I think thats all?

enjoy <3

"I cant tell, is this a positive or negative?"

Your voice was shaky and frail, holding up the test to your phone camera, trying to show your friend.

"blurry, cant see, read the box y/n. instructions are there" Your friend sighed, in her defense, it was late, and you called her out of slumber- but only because you were totally hyped at the sudden realization that you were finally possibly pregnant.

You and Jungkook had not necessarily been trying, nor necessarily avoiding it.

You both wanted kids, but never really specified when. Considering the fact you have now been married for 2 years, and your relatives are up your ass about when it is that you will have a baby, even though its not their business at all.

You wanted this for you, and today might be the day you get what you wished for.

"You just took it, let it sit for a moment"

you nodded at your friends words as you placed the test onto the bathroom sink, moving your hands to rest on your hips as your teeth tugged at your bottom lip in thought.

"whats on your mind, hun?" she asked

"a lot..." you giggled, drawing your eyes back to her. "If I am, I just hope Kook is happy, thats all I want"

"mm his schedule is so busy"

"I know, work always comes first with him, thats why im nervous. Its not like he told me to take birth control or anything, and we have condoms he just refuses to use one" you snicker

She laughs, "well then yeah what did he expect?"

"but hes a head manager at the company he works at, hes spent so much time climbing the ladder to get there, what if this throws him in a loop?"

"y/n....girl...listen to me, he is partially responsible for this, so he needs to be accepting or I will personally come down there and make him accepting"

You laughed at your friend, thankful you had some humor relief out of all the tension.

"and listen, you are in your 30's, its not like you are 20 years old and unmarried, you know?"

"yeah...youre right...im gonna look now, I think its ready"

"okay"

You gently flipped over the test and held it close to your eyes, a faint blue plus sign appeared, making your heart thump so loud it was audible in your ears.

"holy shit, its positive!"

"its positive?" your friends voice shot up 3 octaves

"YES!!!" you jumped around, wishing jungkook was home right now to show him, instead bathing in the moment with your best friend.

"congratulations, y/n, oh my god im so happy for you!!!"

"thank you!" you wiped a few tears, gripping the test almost as if it wouldnt be real if you let it go. "oh jesus this is so....wow!"

"remember what I said, everything will be okay"

You nodded, taking a deep breath

"everything will be okay, yeah....your right."

Everything, in fact, was not alright.

It's been 2 weeks since that night you found out you were pregnant, and everytime you think you are ready to tell Jungkook, something happens.

"oh gotta go babe, they are calling me into work"

"too tired to talk tonight honey, i have to get up at 5am"

"not right now baby, maybe tomorrow?"

It never ended, he was in and out the front door constantly.

It was upsetting that the only time youve had to talk with him recently was when you both took a shower a few days ago.

"you look so tired" you frowned, pushing his hair back

"I know...I am"

"you need to sleep more" you kissed his chest, resting against it under the warm water.

He let out a soft laugh, "yeah...when is there time for rest?"

"its okay to take time off, you know? youre a manager, you have more control"

"I just need to prove to everyone that I am capable of handling the position" he insisted

"Obviously you are, they wouldnt-"

"y/n, just dont worry about it....okay?" he squeezed you softly, trying to change the subject and shutting you down, because you wouldnt get it

You wanted your husband, you wanted him more than anything, and this feeling only turned to anger as you sat with him at the dinner table one night.

You were now almost 2 months pregnant and still have not told him.

You planned a nice meal to eat, his favorite.

You cooked all the vegetables and spent hours slaving in the hot kitchen making sure everything was up to perfection for him, just for him to come home at 2am with no text in regard to him being late.

"its late, honey, im sorry, we can eat tomorrow"

You stood to your feet before he could leave the room, all of your dishes sitting on the stove, some now cold. "no, we are gonna eat now."

You know he smelled the food, and never did he once acknowledge the fact you made his favorite dish, or thank you for it.

His eyes widened, not used to hearing the sudden tone in your voice.

"please....please just sit" your voice cracked slightly as you watched him slowly walk back to the seat, sinking into it.

"are you mad at me?" he whispered, watching your back as you heated up the food into a plate for him.

"mad..?" you chuckle to yourself, trying to gather your thoughts.

"yeah, mad. are you?"

You took the food out of the microwave and handed it to him, sitting on the other end of the table and looking at him desperatley.

"jungkook...have you noticed anything...different?"

He smiled gently, confusion in his eyes, "what do you mean?"

Your expression softened from hopeful to dissapointment.

"you dont see...you dont feel like anything is different?"

"no?" he half smiled, looking around awkwardly.

You looked down at your plate, teary eyes overcoming you as you tried hard to prevent your breakdown- but its been a long time coming.

"wha-"

"jungkook!" you cry out desperately, leaving him shocked and confused at the odd behavior.

"baby why are you crying? whats going on? what is this?" he panicked

"You!! im crying because of you!!" you stood, covering your face as you felt the embarrassment fall over you.

"what did I do?" he got up and tried to come over to hold you, but you pushed him away.

He let you talk, not knowing how to respond to anything.

"you are never home, Jungkook. I fucking miss my husband, okay? I spent 4 hours in this kitchen, sick as hell, making your favorite dish and I dont get any type of thank you, instead you come home 3 hours late and decide its time to sleep, you reek of alcohol as well" you wipe you tears hastily.

He stood, looking at you as his eyes teared up

"I know work is important, I know it is, But I matter too Jungkook!! We are married, I am your WIFE! im not just the maid and chef here, you know?

"baby I never said any of that-"

"you treat me like one!!" you cry, pacing the room, "see, you still dont even notice anything do you?"

He looked helplessly, "Im sorry, honey, I really am, but I need work-"

"not this much!!" you looked at him sharply, "Ive been home alone these past few weeks, dealing with a certain situation ive been terrified to tell you about all by myself!"

"im here now, tell me! tell me! what is going on and how can I fix this?"

"I just want you, jungkook....One fucking day, one fucking dinner" you gesture to the table "When was the last time we even woke up together and cuddled, or had a fucking cup of coffee and talked? Months...MONTHS!"

"my angel im sorry ive been neglecting you, why didnt you say something to me sooner?"

"I was trying to understand, I was trying sooo hard to put myself in your shoes but damnit, jungkook, I cant hide it anymore" you sobbed, knowing how crazy you looked to him right now. "Its...its not fair!!"

He gently grabbed your arm, leading you towards him, his eyes searching deep into your own.

You sighed, trying to adjust your breathing, "g-give me time, give us time." you wrapped your arms around yourself and looked at him.

"us?"

You swallowed harshly, trying to steady your voice, "im pregnant, Jungkook. I found out weeks ago and since then youve left me home alone with not an ounce of time for me to tell you, which is now resulting in this"

He froze, his eyes softening at you as he tears up, "pregnant? baby..."

"yes!" you step back, "and...and you didnt even notice! I tried leaving clues, I left the test in your bedside nightstand and you never fucking saw it?"

"n-no baby...youre pregnant, oh my god, honey" he brought you back to him, a soft yet sad smile on his face

"Its been all me, im the only one who has to deal with it and its not fair. If you dont have time for me, how the hell are you gonna manage to parent our child?" you glared "I refuse to parent alone, this is a team effort, jungkook. Yes money is important, but I need you, I need you to stop being a manager first and my husband second"

He took a shaky breath, part of him scared to say the wrong thing, "I- I understand honey" he nodded, holding your hands as he cried "fuck- im so sorry" you let him pull you into a tight hug "Im so sorry holy shit...im such a fucking dumbass, how could I not know?" he ran his hand up and down your back, face hidden into your shoulder as you both cried.

"you need to understand, I am serious, things have to change!"

"they will! they will! I'll change right now I promise Im gonna be here for you, for both of you" his hands held your stomach, desperation in his voice "dont leave...." he whispered

"im not going to, jungkook. But you need to stop working so much, I cant do this by myself"

"you dont have to, im here for you, whatever you need, fuck I'll take the rest of the week off for you, just let me hold you" he squeezed you tighter

"I miss you so much" your voice was quiet

"I love you, im so sorry I never noticed, Im so dumb baby....I love you,I love you" he cupped your face and pressed a delicate kiss to your lips, forehead against yours, "thank you for all you do, im an ass for not recognizing any of it"

"I love you too....just please...do it for us...?"

He nods "anything....for you, i'll do fucking anything baby." he kisses you once more as you both gently sway in the kitchen. The tension of the argument still lingering in the air, thick and prominent.

This wasnt a fixed issue, more so a stepping stone to him proving his words.

If he wanted to be a dad, he needed to show you he was ready for it.

"he is crying again" you sigh, rubbing your eyes and sitting up to look at the baby monitor.

"I'll get him" jungkook immediately got up and walked down the hall, following the sad cries that led him to your baby's room.

"little man...its 4am...why the tears?"he frowned at his 3 month old who's arms flared around.

the first 2 months of Kaiylin being born, you kept him in your main bedroom at night but you wanted to test out how he would sleep on his own, and so far its not been good.

"you want mama, huh?" he picked him up, holding him close and gently bouncing his knees. He didnt smell, so it wasnt his diaper, and he had just been fed not too long ago, so it was easy for jungkook to know he just missed his mommy and daddy.

He slowly walked into the bedroom, you were about to fall asleep. "oh kai" you frown as your husband places him into the bed between you both, his body facing the smaller ones so he doesnt fall out or move around.

"aw baby" you rub his head softly, "its okay now, shh, shh"

Jungkook gives you an empathetic look, "I know you havent slept im sorry"

You shrug, "i'll nap tomorrow"

"I'll take him into my office, he can sit in his rocker while you nap"

You smile softly kissing your husband, "thanks, baby"

You had to admit, Jungkook has stepped up more than you assumed he would. Hes began to work from home, giving time for not only your little family, but especially you and him.

He has been such a help with everything, from watching Kai during the night, to cooking and cleaning for you, its been 100% teamwork since you gave birth and you couldnt thank him enough for it all,

Things were finally starting to even out and you could not have been happier, the man you married in the first place was returned back to you, in the form of a loving father.

"hes sleeping again, look" jungkook whispered

Your eyes darted to the newborn in between you and your husband, you slightly giggled, "poor thing"

"co-sleeping just works I guess" he smiled, leaning over to kiss you gently, "go back to sleep honey, ill watch him for a bit, its okay."

"I love you, thank you..." you looked at him

"I love you too sweetheart"

a/n- ahh! I really hope this is what you wanted, it was fun to write and follow the prompt. Thanks again for sending this in! -Nini

#bts #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook drabble #bts fluff

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yummycrummy · 4 months

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UuHM

Augh im super embarrassed to even send this so apologies for it being anonymous..BUT UH

(This is gonna be rlly long btw so sorry..)

Id honestly just like to thank you although you probs dont really get why (let alone really remember me BAHAH) i uhhdhsmdtmstmdt UHM words yes!! Uh but id really like to uh thank you because uhm you got me throw a lot like i mean A LOT throughout 2023 especially in the beginning an dyoure honestly a super big idol tome and im really happy to have found and met you and i still get super excited and stimm-y whenever i see your content n remember we r moots on tiktok AND tumblr n stuff youre honetsly and amaizng and sweet person and stuff!! Youve inspired me to do what i love and youve helped me see art as a hobby instead of dof a chore again youre honestly just really really REALLY (wow three reallys!) inspiring to me a really awkwrd kid!! I may have found you during our dhmis fixation and mainly know you for that but i enjoy all your content even thoughi dunno the context!! But uhhh IN SHOR HEHWHAH thank you for like EVERYTHING you do (aka be yourself!!) i hope everything goes well for you hope!! Yhmmmdmetmdt HEHHAM UH uhmmm HAPPY NEW YEARS!! yea! :3 uhm sorry again EMTAMTSMTSM

‼‼‼🥺🥺🥺🥺 AWWWW GOSHH this is literally so soo sweet of you, what the heck,,, got me smiling at my phone like a big ol goof baHDJAGDJ thank you so much tho omg..I don't know how my silly lil self can leave such an impact on people but I really do appreciate this.. abanagnfbf no need to be so embarrassed !!!/lh u genuinely sound so cool and friendly I wish I knew who I was talking to but I can understand why u wanted to be anonymous, I'd be shy too ngl ahehhehfvs but YEAH!!! TY SO MUCH??! We gotta talk again sometime (if you want to ofc, no pressure ^-^) hope you have a happy new years too my friend, I love ya/p and thank you again even tho I said it already ehhehf 💖💟💗💘💖💟🎉💖💘🌈💘💟💖🌈💖💘💖💟🌈💘💟🎉💖 AAAAAAA

#uughdgg this just made my whole night....#what a lovely thing 2 see before i sleep :]#hugs u tightly #🍫🍬🍰🍪🍩🧁 some treats 4 u!!!!#asks

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the-kr8tor · 7 months

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ok this is kinda random but I was listening to olivia rodrigos new album and one of the songs is called lacy and I really think that it fits the readers pov for the last 2 chapters of TTN and what she might be thinking about what just happened between her and hobie and lacey. and the title even is the same as her name (even tho it is spelt different). idk if this makes sense or not but I have been thinking about it all day and I wanted to share 😭😭

Also I have been LOVING TTN so much like I always get the notifications when I am at work and then I can’t wait for my shift to be over so I can go home and read it! Ur literally my fav author on here so I’m sending u heaps of love and appreciation for ur writing !!!! <33333

could I be 🕊️ anon if it’s not already taken?

(also feel free to ignore/delete this if u want lol idk if ur accepting asks rn)

Hello, my love 🕊️!! (Love dove hehehe) I'm always accepting asks!

You've found me out 🏳️ the entire chapter is inspired by that exact song! (Lacy is actually my favourite out of all of them) I've been listening to the entire album on repeat, then I realised uh lacy fits so well for chapter 6 and 7 so i named lacey after the song as a lil easter egg/nod to the inspo! Good eye 😉 (even the chapter title is based on the song! 'lace' it was supposed to be lacy too but i thought lace fits better ❤️)

I applaud you! Good job seeing the connection! It's definitely not a coincidence/ random 😉

🥹🥹 you're too kind, angel! Im really happy you like ttn! (It's my pride and joy 😊) also im your fave?! 🥹 thank you for the love 💕

I appreciate you sending your love, babes! Have a big ol hug from me! ʕ⁠っ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠っ❤️❤️❤️

#ask answered #chatting with lovelies #🕊️ anon #😘😘😘#youre very sweet! love ya 😘#ttn thoughts #i literally went 'take me away officer' when you found it out lmaoo #good eye babes 😘#ttn is chock full of Easter eggs like that 😉

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syilcawrites · 1 year

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1 word prompt: paragliding :) or whistle! or spices. pick what gets the creative juices flowing

congrats on 500!

This has been sitting in my inbox for so long.......... I'm so sorry for the extremely super duper long wait, I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN IT!! I had major writer's block with this but today is the day I finally send u something!!!

Thank u nathaniacolver for the ask!!

Summary: Link and Zelda have been staying in Kakariko for a few days and crave a pumpkin-filled meal. After buying a pumpkin from Olkin and heading to High Produce Spirits for some spice, they run into the store owner's husband—Steen—Olkin's produce rival! In a desperate attempt to hide the pumpkin they bought, Zelda stuffs the small pumpkin under her shirt... causing a grave misunderstanding.

ao3

"We've got all sorts of pumpkins! Like ah… like this big ol' fortified pumpkin. And then there's this little one right here and-and this perfectly shaped fortified pumpkin over there in the corner. It's one of my bestsellers, promise."

Zelda blinks once, then twice, but her perfect smile remains unwavered on her face. "You have a delightful array of… of selections!" she says enthusiastically, "so much that it's hard to really choose… which one to get." Zelda nudges Link with her elbow.

"Oh, uh…" Link rubs the spot where Zelda had jabbed him. "No preference?" he murmurs to her. She shakes her head. "Yeeah… okay. We'll just go with this?" he says, picking up the closest pumpkin to them. He tilts his head at it, a small smile springing onto his face. "Heh, it kinda looks like you."

She raises her eyebrows at him, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "What is that supposed to mean?" Zelda huffs out, crouching down next to him to inspect what pumpkin he chose. It was one of the smaller ones in the garden, shaped cutely like a round oval–small enough that it would sit perfectly in between her two palms. Instead of responding to her, Link just grins.

"Ha! You've got a good eye!" Olkin chortles loudly. "They're much sweeter than the bigger ones. I'll give you a lil' discount and make it 15 rupees, whatd'ya say?"

"Sounds good to me." Link drops the rupees into Olkin's open hand. "Steen's not running you into the ground anymore, right? Did you two talk it out?"

"Meh," he responds with a shrug, rubbing his nose. "Once that old man stops selling carrots I'll start talkin' to him."

After a few more playful, friendly chatter, the two of them depart from Olkin's Pumpkin Farm to pick up a few spices and herbs from High Spirits Produce.

"Er... is it wise to bring the pumpkin with us into the store?" Zelda asks, grabbing Link's arm before they enter the store. "What if Trissa tells Steen we bought from Olkin? Remember the last time Steen found out we bought pumpkins from Olkin?" When they had walked into High Spirits Produce with a pumpkin in hand, and Steen had been in the store, he accused Link of being a two-timing-no-good customer.

"Oh-? Link? Zelda? Is that you?" a very familiar voice calls out from behind them. Link and Zelda simultaneously stiffen in response, goosebumps rising.

"O-oh! Steen!" Link swivels around, stepping in front of Zelda so that she's blocked from his view. "You're back early, was it a slow day selling your carrots?"

Of course Steen is right behind them!

"Just one of those days, Aha ha! Nothing to worry about though!"

Quickly, Zelda stuffs the pumpkin under her shirt and turns around, her body remaining hidden behind Link as she gives Steen a small smile. "I'm, ah, sure tomorrow will be better! I'm feeling quite ill, so... we'll be heading back..." Slowly, she turns back around and begins to trek her way up the incline with her hands tucked snug underneath the pumpkin hidden behind her shirt.

"Oh!"

Zelda freezes. She glances up to her left, and...

Trissa stands there, her eyes wide and her hands hiding her mouth in utter disbelief and surprise.

"Zelda are you- it can't be- you're pregnant??" Trissa practically screams, squealing in delight.

"P-" Zelda is too baffled to even finish the word as cold sweat forms on her skin. This cannot be happening, Zelda thinks, as she pales.

"Pregnant??" Link and Steen gasp in unison, as if Trissa screaming it isn't bad enough. Zelda's sure the whole village has heard them now.

"OhmyHylia!!" Trissa squeals again, jumping giddily to Zelda as she grabs her shoulders, squeezing them in delight. Zelda presses the pumpkin against her stomach with her dear life, eyes wide and lips pursed in utter shock. "Why didn't you say anything? I knew you two were an item! Honey, dear, look at her bump! You're not too far along, it seems!"

Steen takes no time in quickly jogging over to them with a silly grin on his face. Then, his hands reach out and- oh, if someone were to touch the bump they'd immediately know that it isn't...!

"Ah, darn. We really wanted to keep this a secret!"

Whatareyousaying?? Zelda, whose mind is currently gone to panic-mode-mush, stares at Link with wide eyes as he somehow pries her away from Steen and Trissa.

"Please don't tell anyone?" Link asks, smiling apologetically. "We don't want to give Impa a shock just yet."

"Oh, oh of course!" Trissa spews, grinning so genuine and happy that it makes Zelda feel like a terrible person. "Your secret is S-A-F-E with me and Steen, right darling??"

"Absolutely," Steen says immediately as he claps his hands together. "Trissa, go get one of everything from the store and give it to them! They're gonna need a lot more food with a third mouth joining!"

"Ah, no, please-" Zelda says weakly, but Trissa is already in and out of the store, hauling a whole bag of spices, food, and other goodies for them and hands them over to Link. Steen adds in a whole bundle of swift carrots into the bag as well.

"I added in some teas that will help with morning sickness," Trissa explains with a beaming smile. "Just pop some honey into them for some sweetness if it's too bitter!"

"Oh... thank... you..." Zelda manages to spit out. "I think- yes. I think Link and I must go, I feel terribly exhausted." She grips the sleeve of his shirt with one hand, tugging. She'll give them rupees for all the food later, but right now, every inch of her is screaming to get out of here immediately.

They say their goodbyes, and finally, when they separate from the lovely Sheikah couple and they're a good ways near the edge of the village, Zelda drops to a crouch and buries her head into her lap.

"Link," she mumbles, crumbling, pulling the innocent pumpkin out of her shirt and hugging it to her chest. "Whatarewegoingtodo???"

He bursts into laughter.

Zelda whips her head up at him, glaring, her face beginning to flush. "This isn't- this is a disaster!!" They both know that Steen and Trissa are the number one gossipers of Kakariko Village, there's just no way that they wouldn't spread it, and if Impa hears it...

He continues to laugh until he's gasping for air, clutching his stomach, and it sounds so raw and free that Zelda can't help but crack a smile because- well, the whole thing is awfully silly.

Still chuckling, he puts the bag of food down and helps her up, taking the pumpkin into his arms. He stares at it fondly as if it really is his child. "I guess we should think of a name, huh? For our unborn kiddo?"

Her cheeks warm at the thought of Link being a father and—

"Oh, enough of your silliness!" Zelda sputters, pinching his nose. She grabs the bag off from the ground and hauls it up, fully aware that her cheeks are probably as red as the ripe apples that grow in Kakariko Village. Unbeknownst of the calamity they had unleashed upon the small Sheikah clan for the coming days, they depart the village with a massive armful of delicious food.

#botw #zelink #fake pregnancy au LOL #my fanfics #it's to keep the peace of Kakariko <3 #tumblr was being super dumb and it took me 30 mins to like format this omg #there might be weird formatting stuff sowwy </3

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