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direnightshade · 4 years

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Broken Patterns

“Where are you working, if you don’t mind my asking?”

The steady tick, tick, tick of the wall mounted clock nearby fills the silence that follows the woman’s statement. I glance around nervously, taking in the sight of the room. The walls are white and the bottom half is trimmed with a molding that I’ve only ever seen in places that are far too expensive for me to afford. Meanwhile, the top half of the walls are covered in a multitude of photos and art, each one framed in mismatched metals. To my left there is a bookshelf that spans the entirety of one wall. It is filled to the brim with books of varying genres.

Oh, how I long for a place such as this some day.

My gaze swings back to the woman with the pinched face and the short, jet black pixie haircut. I swallow thickly and wipe my already clammy palms along the tops of my jean-clad thighs. “I just landed an internship with Simon & Schuster.”

A steady scribble of the tip of her pen can be heard as she scrawls across her piece of paper, humming in acknowledgement, though I am certain the sound is a mere afterthought; one to appease me as if she’s giving off the appearance that she’s listening. “And when did you move to New York?”

“Two years ago, right after I turned eighteen.”

More scribbling follows, and I shift anxiously on the velveteen couch that has been dyed a pretty shade of dark green. Almost immediately, I am pinned to the very spot I sit by the intense gaze of the woman who is meant to be my therapist. There are no words exchanged, but the look that she is giving me seems to say it all: stay still. I sink into myself and remain in place as she has so silently willed me to do.

This is only the beginning of the session, and already, it is unlike anything I would have expected.

“So, tell me,” she says, finally satisfied that she’s written all that she can for the time being, “what brings you into my office?” Her posture has straightened considerably now, and for the first time since I’d stepped foot past the threshold of the room’s door do I feel as if she’s actually listening to what I have to say.

I inhale a shaky breath in hopes that it will steel my resolve, and when I exhale, I begin to tell her everything.

I tell her about the screaming that became a staple in my childhood home; about how it had all been my fault, because of course it was. I had been unable to grasp the simplest things that were being taught to me. It certainly hadn’t been because the expectations that were set so heavily onto my shoulders were so unrealistic that no child at my age could have lived up to them. No. No, of course not. That wasn’t it at all. It was all me. My failings.

I tell her about how I’d taken out all of my pent up anger and aggression out on the dolls that my mother had so lovingly gifted to me; that I’d mutilated them so badly my mother took me to see a child psychologist claiming she thought me to be some future murdering psychopath. Isn’t that hilarious?!

It’s an absurd thought. Truly.

I couldn’t harm a fly…

I tell her about Ben.

He was, I think, the first person I ever thought I loved. I met him, of all the places, on Bow Bridge in Central Park one crisp Autumn morning. I’d been fresh off the train, barely in the city for a full twenty four hours when we’d crossed paths. He’s a painter—a lovely one at that, I’ve always told him as much—and when I’d stumbled across him, he was painting the landscape. I couldn’t help but admire his talents. I think I may have stopped and gawked for far too long and perhaps that is what caught his attention, though I am sure if he was here, he would sing a different tune. He loves to tell people that when he saw me it was if I had walked straight out of one of his paintings; a dream incarnate. The line makes me roll my eyes with disgust now, but back then in the early stages of the relationship, that line would always have me hook, line, and sinker.

But therein lies the problem, you see. I am a sucker for pretty words, for people who can paint me the loveliest picture of a life that I have always wanted but yet to have. And, oh, how he painted that lie well.

Over time the compliments and the affection have waned significantly, and now I fear that it is only I who is trying to give it my all any more. I believe that he is seeing someone else, that the pretty words he once showered down on me are now being put upon another heart, leaving mine to rot.

He checks his phone late at night when he thinks that I am asleep. I can hear the steady tap, tap, tap of his thumbs against the screen and every now and again, I can hear the soft laughter he emits whenever whomever she is responds with some undoubtedly witty remark. Where he once used to be so adamant that we put our phones aside and focus on one another, he now has done a complete one-eighty. We sit on opposite ends of the couch whilst he entertains himself with whatever conversation he is so engrossed in, meanwhile I am left to watch this movie—one that he chose—alone.

I am turning into my mother more and more every day, I realize. I am untrusting and paranoid, always asking him who it is that he’s taking calls from or who he’s texting. He tells me it’s nothing, that it’s just work, but he was never this busy with work before…

Two days ago is when he’d come clean.

My suspicions were not unfounded. He had been seeing someone. Her name is Mina and apparently she is lovely.

There is a brief bout of scribbling of a pen against paper, and when it stops, my therapist lifts her head once more to look at me. “How does that make you feel?”

Like I am a waste, I want to tell her. It makes me feel as if I am nothing; that if the one person on this planet who was meant to love me cannot seem to then perhaps I am, myself, unworthy of such a gift.

My features soften and I allow the corners of my mouth to turn up into a small smile. “I feel fine.”

The woman reaches up to pull her glasses down off of the bridge of her nose, setting the frames atop her notebook. She exhales a sigh and regards me carefully before doling out a reply. “This is a new development for you. Surely you must have some sort of feelings about it.”

“I told you that I’d had my suspicions. I’ve had more than two days to process the inevitable.”

“Having a suspicion and having confirmation are two completely different things. This idea in your mind has since been made real. Doesn’t that hurt you,” she counters.

The smile that had been so carefully put into place falters, and my lips press into a thin line.

It is clear that my therapist is pleased with this non verbal response as she once again resumes her note taking.

“No,” I reply carefully.

“No?”

“No.”

There is a stretch of silence that follows my insistence, and soon enough, she sets the notepad, pen, and her glasses aside and regards me carefully. “What are you doing to cope?”

I barely manage to bite back the snort that nearly bubbled up to the surface. Cope? Since when have I ever coped with anything? I suppose, if we are being technical, what I do is a form of coping, albeit an unhealthy one. I take those feelings, the ones that weigh on my chest so heavily that it feels as if it may very well collapse under the strain, and I compact them until they are so small I can easily store them in a cage that I have built myself. I tuck them away and store the box somewhere deep inside myself, never allowing them to see the light of day so that I never have to deal with the emotional traumas that I have been dealt.

“I work,” I say matter-of-factly, as if the idea of me needing to do anything else is utterly absurd.

She hums and clasps her hands together, setting them atop her lap. “And what have you done for an emotional release? Anything at all? Or are you throwing yourself into work to avoid the situation?”

My jaw clenches at her insistence, though, I don’t know why I would have expected anything else. Perhaps I wasn’t expecting this first session to have become so deep so quickly. “If you’re asking if I’ve cried, the answer is no.”

“And why not?”

I am growing more and more irritated by the second. I could, if I so wished, put an end to this right now. I could get up and end the session, thank her for her time and walk right out of the door. Or, the pen sitting beside her on the end table would push straight into her eye socket rather nicely, I reckon…

No. No, I rid myself of that thought and exhale an audible sigh.

“Because what is the point? Crying doesn’t fix the relationship. He’s made his choice.”

“Crying can be a good release for us. It’s very cathartic.”

“I’m not wasting my tears on someone who didn’t have the decency to leave the relationship before giving a part of themselves to someone else.”

The irony is not lost on me that eleven years later I find myself in another office in a different part of the city with tears freely spilling down onto my cheeks as I reach for the tissue that is offered to me. When one isn’t enough, I am gifted the entire box.

It feels as if I am crying out years and years of repressed emotion, and I fear—as my body wracks with sob after sob—that the tears will be never ending. This therapist, who I have already decided is miles above the one I’d seen when I was twenty, sits and waits patiently for me to let it all out. She has been nothing short of supportive and I feel relief.

Earlier this week I had requested that Charlie jot down the number for his therapist’s office so that I may make an appointment of my own. Though he, too, has been more than happy to listen to me when I vent my frustrations or cry on his shoulder when things become a little too overwhelming for me, I have come to realize that perhaps it is not fair of me to unload so much onto him when he is still dealing with so much himself. And what’s more, is that I have realized that I have begun to fall into an old pattern.

Rather than fully dealing with the emotional upset he has caused with his trysts, I have once again begun to tamp down and repress my negative emotions in favor of pretending that all's right with the world. Not only do I not want to shut myself down and risk ruining this relationship, I also do not believe my tactics to be in the best interest of Little b. So, if nothing else, I will do this for them.

When the tears finally subside, and I have once again managed to pull myself together, I take a moment to dab a clean tissue against the underside of my eyes. Just as I am inhaling another shaky breath, my therapist—who is not the same woman that Charlie shares his allotted time with—poses a question.

“Have you discussed your feelings with him?”

I sniffle and ball up the tissue in my hand as it comes to rest in my lap. “We had a long, long discussion after things calmed down. He knows that I was—am—unhappy with his choices.”

There is a soft sigh emitted when she shifts in her seat and crosses her legs. One hand rests on her knee whilst the other keeps her chin propped up as her elbow sets on the arm of the chair she’s currently seated in. “You told me that he’s admitted to opening up to someone emotionally when he felt he couldn’t do that with you and that this seems to be the root of your dispiritedness. I’d like to talk about that.”

I wouldn’t, I think to myself almost immediately.

But, this is why I am here, after all. I need to discuss the things that I wish to bury. Only then do I have any real chance of repairing the damaged, unhealthy parts of myself. If we, as a family, have any real shot at moving forward, then I must face this head on regardless of how much I want nothing more than to run the other way.

And yet…

I am struggling.

“Do you still worry that this may be an issue?”

My head hangs forward, and I close my eyes tightly to ward off the onslaught of tears that once again threaten to force their way out. There is a slight tremor that starts in my chin and works its way to my bottom lip. I hate this, this feeling of being rendered speechless, of being weak and vulnerable. I hate that, once again, I have given someone else the power to crush me so.

I nod wordlessly, the motion so slight that it would have been missed had she not been paying careful attention.

“Has he done anything to make you think that it is?”

Another stretch of silence follows her words, and this time, I find myself shaking my head. No, no he hasn’t.

And yet…

I am afraid.

And…

My therapist says my name to grab my attention, and when I finally lift my head to look at her, it is with tearfully blurred vision. “If he has not done anything to make you think that it is, then tell me about the steps he has taken to attempt to alleviate those fears.”

I inhale a shaky breath and begin to list off everything from deleting the long list of contacts in his phone to quitting his job at the theater. When the subject of the move to Los Angeles is brought up, I am asked that one question that haunted my thoughts mere days ago.

What do I want?

How do I feel?

“I…” My lips press together as I trail off, and I work my jaw as I take a moment to think. “I want to leave. I think the move will be good for both of us, and not just because this means that Charlie can see Henry more regularly now.” While I speak, I lift a hand to dab away the last remaining tears from my eyes, finally feeling more confident in this turn of conversation. “You know, when I first moved here, I loved this city so much that I resolved to stay here until I turned old and grey.”

There is a small smile that forms when I speak, and I huff out soft laughter. But as I shake my head, the smile begins to wane. “But now… After everything that’s transpired over the last month… This city that brought me so much joy just feels so oppressive now. Some of the places I used to love to venture to have been tainted by the awful confessions that he’s bestowed upon me. What I want is to leave. But most importantly, what I want is for this to work...”

By the time that my session concludes, I am feeling infinitely better than when I’d initially walked through the front door. For the first time in all the times that I have tried—or was forced to try—therapy, I am leaving a session with tools that I feel will be useful in aiding my own emotional recovery from everything that I have dealt with in life. For the first time in my life, I will attempt to cope with the emotions that I feel in a healthy way. I feel, for the first time in a long, long time, like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

When I make my way out of the building, I am surprised to find Charlie waiting for me just outside. There is a fleeting look of concern that flashes across his face when he takes in my red-rimmed eyes, but just as quickly as the look emerges, it dissipates entirely when a broad smile stretches across my face. “You came all the way out here to get me,” I ask, the pleasant surprise evident in my voice.

“Wanted to make sure your first session went well,” he says just as he reaches out for me once I’m near enough.

A soft hum is emitted when his hands settle on my waist to draw me in closer, and I lift my arms to wrap them loosely around his neck. I tip my head back slightly to look up at him, taking a moment to soak in his features before I speak. “You were nervous.”

He huffs in automatic response, his gaze darting to the side momentarily. “Absolutely not.”

If it is possible for my smile to widen any further, then it certainly does so. “It’s okay,” I say, fingers raking through the hair at the nape of Charlie’s neck whilst he continues to hold me close, safe and out of the way from any passersby. “We’re okay. It went great. Probably the best session I’ve ever had. Now I know why you’ve chosen that office.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

We smile at one another, and for the first time in over a month, I truly feel as if everything will be alright.

#B+C #B+C+b #personal au #cw: pregnancy #cw: infidelity #cw: angst #iamakiller

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feuilly-cakes · 4 years

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Breaking Dawn - 3* review

Oh boy was this a long one. Okay, I really don't know how to feel about this book, because on one hand I had lots of fun revisiting my old favourite and picking it apart but on the other hand I had a very big issue with a major part of the plot. If I were rating based on each book within this book, I would give book one 4*and book two and three 3*. It starts out strong, then gets progressively harder to keep track of, but then maybe my short attention span is the problem here. I learned many interesting facts and character traits in this book, and I also figured out something important to do with imprinting that's been vaguely introduced in the previous book but is explored in-depth here. Stick around if you want to see what that discovery is. As usual, I'll be putting interesting and relevant facts and things I found particularly offensive under sub-headings, but I'll be saying a lot about each book as if it's separate before then, because Breaking Dawn as a whole is too long to talk about with any coherency. So without further ado: There are only spoilers ahead. Book 1: Bella First let me just say that these books have such amazing prologues/prefaces that immediately grab your attention. If you didn't know she was going to get pregnant, it would probably seem like she's talking about Edward being the one killing her. Anyway, this book was shorter than I expected, but far more enjoyable. This one seems to be more family oriented in the language used than previous in the series; while before any of the Cullens would be described as 'Edward's adopted -' , in this they are simply his mother, his brothers, his sisters. Even Jasper, who always seemed to me to be the outsider of the bunch, uses the term "We Cullens" and it just feels more like a family than a vampire coven pretending to be a family. This is helped along by Bella suddenly knowing so much more about the history of the Cullens and their extended family the Denalis. She's ready to fit right on in there. This book deals with the wedding and the honeymoon. Bella reflects on how she told her parents, freaks out about getting married, has her wedding, abruptly changes her stance on said wedding, then they shoot off to the honeymoon and things occur. Basically, she gets pregnant. It's a huge commotion. Backtracking, both Charlie and Renee were weirdly supportive about the engagement and handled it super well, with Renee and Bella having such a lovely conversation I nearly teared up. She's a great mother even when she's not physically there for Bella. Bella, on the other hand, is doing that thing again where she's selfish and a bit mean without realising she's being that way. Poor Edward is stressed to his eyeballs about the honeymoon and the very real possibility of hurting and even killing Bella, and she just brushes him right off. More on that later, but that's not the responsible way to do things, Bella. Fast forward to the honeymoon, and Edward is now the one being dramatic, refusing to sleep with her again because he bruised her and not listening to her when she says she's perfectly fine. The way it happens is very funny. Then we get to see random things happening that oh so subtly turn out to be pregnancy symptoms, like strange dreams about vampire babies who look human, oversleeping, mood swings, strange eating habits, and last but not least, morning sickness. It wasn't subtle. When they figure it out Edward loses it and says he's going to arrange for her to have an abortion. Bella asks Rosalie for help, and screen fades to black. The big theme here is that Bella changes her mind. She doesn't want to be married until she suddenly does at her wedding, she doesn't want to stay human until she decides she can afford a few extra years, and she doesn't want kids until she's already pregnant. Even with Rosalie, their slowly evolving relationship wasn't going to be proper friendship until Bella asks her for help. She's changing so quickly it's like getting whiplash, but it's not unrealistic. That's how I make most of my big decisions too, like it simmers away unnoticed until it's ready to be addressed. Relatable, really. Book 2: Jacob Book 2 takes us through Bella's pregnancy from Jacob's perspective, as he goes from planning to kill the Cullens to becoming their biggest protector and an Alpha of his own pack. As much as I love multiple POVs in books this is one I couldn't get behind, and here's why. One of the main themes in this book is imprinting. I don't like it. While I adore soulmates as a concept, and even more so platonic soulmates, it's made clear that this isn't what that is, and it's icky. We get 4 pages of Quil interacting with his imprint Claire, who is 3. The whole time Jacob has a running commentary on how Quil is more devoted than a parent would ever be, how he wants to make her so very happy, how it's so very different from that of a parent, and how Quil has to wait like a "monk" for "a good fourteen years" until Claire was his age. This was never platonic, it was a waiting game. It's also grooming. This was also around the time it became apparent just why Quil imprinted on Claire in the first place: it was all a set up for Jacob's eventual imprint. It had to be a part of the story before it happened so people wouldn't question it, and for the most part it worked. Both Quil's story and Jacob's interactions with a pregnant Bella prove this: "the hold she had on me only got harder to break. Almost like it was related to her expanding belly" and "It feels... complete when you're here, Jacob. Like all my family is together." I hated reading that. He should've imprinted on that nice girl Lizzie, from the park. Surely Stephenie Meyer could've come up with something else to keep Nessie alive? Onto similarly disturbing things but less revolting in the long run, Bella's story here seems to be an attempt at pro-life propaganda that backfired. The reason? Bella makes a choice about her body, and though most of them don't like it, they don't force her to do otherwise. People seem to forget that being pro-choice also means the choice to stay pregnant even when it's best not to. Bella makes that decision and she's absolutely sure of it, at the expense of her life and health, but it's hers to make. She is pitted against Edward, who would absolutely force her to have an abortion if he had backup, and who is also losing his damn mind. He insists to Jacob that Carlisle would help him if not for Esme, and that Rosalie doesn't care about Bella's life, only the baby's. Carlisle himself tells Jacob he would never take the choice away from Bella, and context shows that Rosalie is protecting Bella's choices and bodily autonomy, and carrying out her last wishes to ensure the baby is brought into the world healthy. Remember that Rosalie had all her choices taken from her, and all she wanted for Bella was for her to make the right ones. Edward doesn't change his stance until he discovers the baby has thoughts that can be read, and loves Bella. Once again, this seems to have been an attempt at showing that babies have thoughts and feelings in the womb, but it does almost the opposite as Bella is a day away from full term and not once has anything been picked up by either him or Jasper before that point. It's safe to assume there was nothing to pick up on. The pregnancy ends with a truly horrifying birth scene that made my hands go numb and my ears ring from the violence of it all. Bella dies, Jacob imprints on a minutes-old baby and begins his journey as a child groomer, and then Bella comes back and begins her transformation. Book 3: Bella. Or as I like to call it: It all goes downhill from here. Bella has the most unrealistic yet brutal experience ever, and is now a super sexy, super perfect, super powerful, super smart vampire. She has a perfect baby, perfect control of her bloodlust, and somehow the perfect life. But oh no! The Volturi are threatening that peace! Who could have predicted that the last remaining villains would appear in the last book? Now Bella and the rest of the Cullens have to find their friends to stop the Volturi in their track, but peacefully of course, because they are the good guys really! Just a misunderstanding! I'm so glad that was addressed in story, because I would not have been able to deal with a pro-police/pro-dictator story in this political climate. The most unrealistic part of this is when the Volturi don't simply assert their vampire dominance over them by killing them all without taking their own witnesses. I didn't like how Bella suddenly became perfect and good at everything in this book. It's so unrealistic. Less than a month to become the strongest shield ever and be able to scare the ancient Volturi? Perfect control on her first hunt? I think not thank you. There was also a missed opportunity to have Bella be a psychic of some kind since she dreamt of the future accurately many times. Renesmee was very sweet though, and that's all I'll say on that. Now onto my lists! Differences between book and film This was mostly pretty accurate in terms of plot. - Edward's backstory that we see pre-wedding isn't a thing in the book. It actually isn't a thing in any of the main books, but I can't speak for the others. - Bella knows about the immortal children before the book even starts, and she's the one to realise that Irina thought Renesmee was one herself. - The wedding is inside. The film had it outside I'm pretty sure. - The whole part where Jacob freaks out and borrows a very fancy sports car to go and try to find his imprint was never in the films, and I think that's a tragedy. Vampires - The appearance of the nicknames Em and Jazz for Emmett and Jasper. It's not at all important I just thought it was cute. - Half vampire babies use their teeth to escape the womb. Also, Renesmee was trying to be careful to not hurt Bella while she was still inside her. She started reading when she was under 3 months. If I saw a baby read aloud in full sentences I'd never sleep again. - Edward called Jacob "Jake" in book 3. It's weird how their relationship changes throughout the book. - Poor Renesmee knows it's because of her that the Volturi are coming, and says "This is my fault." She's just a few months old at this point, and she's already going through a whole lot. - The volturi look like someone threw baby powder on them because they sat still for so long they started "petrifying". - There are 32 Volturi members, considering they took the whole coven with them to Forks. - Fun Bella fact: she was going to let Charlie assume what was up with her because she thinks he will never decide on vampire. Red Flags Most of these have been discussed in depth so I'll just mention them briefly. - Edward, pre wedding, is described as having a "panic attack" by Bella at the thought of hurting her, and instead of reassuring him she brushes him off and thinks "He wasn't getting out of this deal. Not after insisting I marry him first." This is beyond selfish and even cruel, because he has a point and genuine concerns that should have been discussed properly. - "We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you." Edward has decided this for himself, without Bella's input. - Jacob contemplates suicide over the thought of having to see Leah. This is absolutely not something that should be talked about like it's nothing. - The imprinting of Quil and Claire. - Every bit of foreshadowing about Jacob imprinting on Renesmee, and the act itself. - Rosalie calls the place in South America where the half vampire myths originated "a disease-infested swamp with a medicine man smearing sloth spit across your face" in relation to giving birth there, and it's more than a little racist. How would she even know what it's like? - "the Egyptians all looked so alike, with their midnight hair and olive-toned pallor, that they could have easily passed for a biological family" The white, blonde Denali sisters were never ever described this way, so why are the non-white people described as such? - Bella had "never met any vampires less civilized" than the Amazons. They have long black braids, so we can assume they aren't white. Why are only the non-white vampires being described these ways? - Bella describes the rough area where she met 1 person, who was working for J Jenks and happened to be Black, but was well dressed in rich clothes, as the "ghetto address". Upon googling, I learnt that this refers to low income areas of a city that are occupied by minorities. She met one person. How could she possibly know if it was the "ghetto"? It was described as the "downtown office" by Max, the man in question, so why wouldn't she just use that term? - Jacob gives Renesmee the Quileute equivalent of a promise ring. I want to throw up, because we all know what a promise ring symbolises. - Lastly but certainly not leastly, when learning Renesmee will be full grown at age 7, Bella feels a "shudder" from Jacob. I hate it, it's gross, it needs to burn. Disgusting. And that's that, sorry it's so long, I had a lot to say. If you have any opinions on this review, feel free to discuss with me!

#twilight #twilight renaissance #breaking dawn #book review #book blogger #Books and Literature #next up is Midnight Sun!!

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warfear · 4 years

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WHAT’S GOOD, PARTY PEOPLE ? the name’s mads : twenty - four summers young, in love with cj from dawn of the dead (2004), mortal enemies with amc’s the walking dead and so very excited to be here. thus, without further ado, below the cut you’ll find the basics—the general gist—about my horrible, poorly written bastard children.

trigger warnings for : cancer, death, kidnapping, abuse and assault !!

APOLSKIS, JULIAN — twenty-four, comic store clerk.

BASICS : born in seattle, julian moved to fort elms when he was a whooping eleven years old. why, you don’t ask. well, because he got diagnosed with a gnarly case osteosarcoma and his father took ONE LOOK at that hospital bill and vanished into thin air, that’s why ! so, mommy dearest took her kids and skipped town as well. for less horrible reasons, of course. since then, his cancer has came and went and came back again. until finally it went for the last time, taking his leg with it as it did. he’s cancer free now ! three years and counting. we do love that for him … depressing facts aside, he’s in a punk rock band because we gotta Stick It To The Man. they suck but he’s decent on the drums and that’s all that matters. him. yeah, he’s a bit of a prick. a lovable prick. loves to play the devil’s advocate and hates talking about his feelings because ~ romantic trauma ~. but other than that, a decent guy, alright ! put some respect to his name.

WANTED CONNECTIONS …

ex - girlfriend : bringer of trauma … she was his second ever girlfriend and their relationship was good, okay ! lasted almost two years. and then, without warning, she dumped him, THROUGH A NOTE. left without a word and that was that. a big bitch move, i’d say.

mother : the best mom there is ! worked three jobs to support her family after the deadbeat left, and is overall the best person juli knows and will ever know. she’s a second generation polish immigrant and very insistent on julian retaining his jewish heritage. pops was christian, so … gross.

father : not much to say about this bastard except he hasn’t spoken to his own children in thirteen years. not as much as a birthday card ! who knows where he is now. we’d like for him to be dead in a ditch but odds are he has a new family. i’d love for julian to knock him out, please hit me up for that.

hospital buddies : like i said, he spent most of his childhood in a hospital. so he must’ve made at least one friend there. they can be a teenager, they can be a senior citizen — as long as their friendship was thrust onto julian by sheer proximity and boredom. he’s obviously well now but i’d like for him to have a sliver of his past life close.

DIMEO, BRANDON — thirty-five, mall cop.

BASICS : very italian. a walking italian stereotype, really. his family is huge and he’s close with them all. too close. i’m talking yearly hunting trips, weekly family dinners, and a mother who still does his laundry. which means, yes, he’s a momma’s boy. a bit of a scrub, if you will. flopped out of the police academy in his early twenties, as he’d almost done high school, and settled for acting cop at the local mall. he’s a bit of a dumbass, and by a bit i mean a lot. unintelligent to the point where he can’t do basic math. emotionally unintelligent to the point where he can’t have a long - term relationship. we do love that. also a big fan of the charlie’s angels television series, AS HE SHOULD BE. he’d be an angel of charlie’s if he could be …

WANTED CONNECTIONS …

ex - girlfriend : i’m talking first and only. probably didn’t get together until his mid - late twenties, and didn’t last that long either. probably had issues with his weird relationship with his mother, probably didn’t appreciate that he couldn’t clean his own house, probably wanted a man and not a little boy. she definitely dumped him. oh, well.

family : he has A LOT. two parents ( i was gonna say obvi but is it obvi, i don’t think so. check yourself @ me ) and three brothers … but he’s the baby of the family, physically and mentally. i feel for his mother. i’d love for him to have a kid cousin, though. like one girl ( except his mommy ) he treats well. it’d be cute, shut up.

friends with benefits : pretty self - explanatory. no strings attached, no commitment, no expectations … it’s all poor donnie here can muster in life. so do give it to him, please and thank.

broskis : he needs friends ! who aren’t other mall cops ( sorry egg take it up with HR ) … maybe dudes he’s known since high school, his OG home - boys. either to enable his antics or to call him out on his shit. i’ll take anything for brodawg over here.

KINNEY, SAWYER — twenty-two, vet student.

BASICS : god’s favorite. just kidding … i don’t think her love for him is much reciprocated. first dropped off as an infant @ the local church’s doorstep, then adopted. all is well ! no, her adoptive parents die in a car crash thirteen years later. she was there, too. sole survivor … even her baby brother passing away in the accident. shit’s tough, my dudes. she still has her older siblings, but who cares about them. was diagnosed with epilepsy shortly after ( she hates it, thanks ) and now lives with a disorder to remind her even more of the event. BIG YIKE LET’S MOVE ON … she’s a ray of sunshine ! loves animals and soccer to death. a social butterfly with no concept of personal space. insistent on not minding her business, plagued by a constant need to be liked by EVERYONE. book smart, emotionally intelligent … yet a whole dumbass. we love to see it.

WANTED CONNECTIONS …

cousins : fun tidbit, after her parent’s death she moved in with her uncle and his children. so, give me those very children ! her siblings are both older than herself and i’m dying for some same - aged partners in crime here. who played soccer with her after school ? who tried beer with her for the very first time ? i am WAITING.

soccer pals : captain of the local girl’s soccer team, since seventeen baby, sawyer’s in dire need of her soccer pals. y’all ever see the netflix original girls with balls ? yeah, me neither, but that could still be them versus the zombies. they’re all so close and athletic i NEED them to team up against the undead.

toxic church friends : i’m not calling christianity toxic … i’m calling white church going pinterest loving bitches toxic. i just think it’d be neat for her to have people from that part of her life really pushing this ~ religious agenda ~ onto her further. you know, shaming everything that she does. WHY NOT ! can’t think of a single reason why not, actually.

someone to get under : look … last year she got DUMPED by her boyfriend. it was rude as hell ! you don’t need to know his reason, okay … she did no wrong, mind your business … either way, give me SOMEONE ELSE for her to focus on so she can finally get over that skinny motherfucker. it doesn’t have to be reciprocated AT ALL, homies. she can thirst from afar … as long as her attention is redirected from ex - boyfriend to wow - possible - boyfriend. ja feel me ? cool.

OSWALT, KEVIN — twenty-one, waitress.

BASICS : born in fort elms as rowan blake, this teensy bitch had a good life going. two parents, three older siblings, one cool ass dog… you get the gist. but all things must come to an end, no ? so, when rowan here was five years old, she was approached by a teenage girl by the name ryan, and booboo the fool as she was, rowan followed this older, much cooler girl right into a stranger’s car… and then rowan was no more ! she spent the next year thirteen years of her life as kevin oswalt, living with her new sister and new mother — creepily nicknamed mama. to say her life with the oswalt’s was good would be… well, it’d be a lie. because kevin wasn’t the first kid they ‘napped, and neither was she the last. lets just say that house was a shit - fest and we should be glad she managed to run away at the tender age of seventeen. by sheer luck, she wound up back in fort elms and by even more luck, she managed to get an education and graduate. unrealistic ? take it up with 2016 me. other than that super fun backstory, kevin’s baby. she likes books ( always has, though it was her only form of entertainment for a good chunk of her life there ) and she likes french fries. she’s still discovering the world around her, even if she has been out and about for about four - ish years now. so if she’s a BIT NAIVE, then excuse her…

WANTED CONNECTIONS …

ex - boyfriend : not to go into too many details but kev’s introduction to the dating scene was less than ideal… barely legal and kept under wraps for A YEAR. it sucked, okay. not a good first experience, IN MY OPINION. kevin has another but she’s stupid. EITHER WAY, that left her kinda fucked - up when it comes to relationships. so, when she started dating her other ex circa summer 2017, she was pretty not - that - into - him. sorry we can’t all be over our 30 year old boyfriends… she never even said those three little words and them bitches dated for a year. TRAGIQUE.

brother : tragically, throughout the years, kevin’s brother is the single family member not picked up and that’s just… fucked, if you ask me. either way — his name is marcus blake but you can change his first to whatever ! he’s the sibling she was closest to as a wee bairn, alright. and i need him here… even if he wouldn’t know her as his sister anymore, but seeing as kev has managed to weasel her way into the blake family through mother and sisters REGARDLESS if anybody remembers or not, i’d say they’d cross paths anyway. oh, and he’s in a band… which isn’t to say juli’s, i mean it could be, but that’s not what i’m saying… anyways, that’s all.

bad influence : kevin’s too nice. and i don’t like it. so, please, pretty please, give me a plot of pure mayhem. somebody less outwardly chaotic than pippa but more scheming, and maybe capable of convincing kevin to grow a spine. think penelope and josie in legacies… but not gay. i mean, it COULD be gay. i’m not saying it HAS to be gay… mind your business.

victim by proxy : okay, hear me out… the oswalts are crazy people, and although kevin would like to be excluded from that narrative, she simply cannot. so, consider giving me somebody with some sort of connection to the kiddos missing ( alternatively : to the man she shanked… girls, ya gotta read her bio, i’m not exposing her further :see_no_evil: ) so kevin’s guilt can just SKYROCKET. that’s fun, right ? make friends with some poor bitch who’s little bro went missing, knowing full well what happened… sickening, kev, get help.

ROSILIO, ODETTE — thirty-five, florist.

BASICS : flaky defined. dropped out of high school, dropped out of california, dropped out of her own wedding … i mean, the list goes on. originally from mexicali, mexico odette moved to chino, california at the ripe age of five. her mother then proceeded to lose custody six years later. * that one vine vc * WAY TO GO, PAUL ! in and out of foster care since, eventually choosing to stay out for the remainder of her teens. until she got herself knocked up ( not by choice but ait ) and was forced to move back in with mommy … but hey, it all turned out fine in the end ! and when her daughter was four years old, she dipped forever. she’s since been living all over the states, only moving to fort elms five - ish years ago. and has indeed stayed put since. even if she did manage to pull a runaway bride. a bit of a bitch move, but at least she’s consistent. ish. because she’s not a bitch, okay, she’s simply … out of fucks to offer the world. can i get an amen.

WANTED CONNECTIONS …

ex - fiancé : like i said … left at the altar, that’s gotta knock you down a peg. or two. but she didn’t mean to stomp on his balls like that. in fact, they were very much in love at one point. dated for about two years until marriage was brought up and well, cold feet took over. and there’s no coming back from being a no show at your own wedding, is there. so that was that. marriage over before it even started. they didn’t get much of closure but that’s life for you.

mother : a horrible mother, plain and simple. she was in and out of jail when odette was in her custody, mostly due to drug related charges which was … not cute, girlie was like eight years old. though who knows, maybe she’s cleaned up her act, and maybe she’s ready to get back in her daughter’s life. or maybe she’s just looking for money … either way, get miss marisa to washington !

employees : i want … snotty teens, or early twenties bitches that she’ll have to manage. she’s had it with her own daughter, why not add more children for her to boss around. that, or somebody at work who she doesn’t wanna clock. an ally amongst the flowers.

chino friends : odette did indeed spend her early to mid teens on the streets and she must’ve made some friends along the way except for kai ( here’s your one mention of the simp @ salem ) … either some bad influences or some good ones. y’all ever seen the movie thirteen ? exactly like that. give me some blasts from the past to bring out the old odette.

#ion have tags for this

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pastpatientlywaitingforimagines · 5 years

Text

Dragonology | Charlie Weasley x femHufflepuff!Reader Part 2.

Warnings: Romance, kissing, alcohol, dragons

Part 1

DRAGONOLOGY FAQ

*5 years prior*

The morning of the championship match you immersed yourself in your teammates, though the excited Hufflepuffs weren’t enough of a distraction to keep your eyes from flickering across the Great Hall to the splash of red hair at the Gryffindor table. You refocused your attention to your team, noticing the quiet of the second-year chaser sitting next to you.

“Are you nervous?” you asked, putting another sausage on your plate. He glanced up at you with wide eyes before shaking his head uncertainly.

“It’s ok to be nervous, to be honest I am a little too,” you shrugged.

“Why are you nervous, (y/n)? Shouldn’t you be our fearless leader?” One of the fourth years on the team asked. You laughed at their innocence.

“A fearless leader would be unrealistic. It’s possible to be a good leader and still be afraid. This is the biggest match of my career. I’m excited, for sure, and I’ll be proud of us all no matter the outcome, but I’m still just a little nervous. It’s human,” you reminded your younger teammates.

“(y/n)’s right. We’re all human. And all of you humans should get down to the locker room in the next hour or you’ll be late. (y/n), a word?” The other Hufflepuff beater, Callum, appeared at your left shoulder. Callum was also a seventh year, and the two of you had been protecting your teammates from bludgers in tandem for the past five years. You stood up from the table and followed him out of the Great Hall and started heading towards the Quidditch pitch.

“How are you feeling?” Callum asked once you were outside.

“Nervous, like I said, but excited. You?”

“Nervous, definitely. Excited, also. Biggest match of our careers, huh?” he pondered into the crisp air.

“Not if you go pro,” you nudged him with your elbow.

“Now who’s being unrealistic?”

“You’re good enough, I’m sure a league would have a spot for you,” you explained.

“Eh, I’m only as good as I am thanks to you. Won’t be the same if you aren’t the other person holding the bat,” Callum grinned.

“How sweet, you going to tell all the ladies you meet at MACUSA that you had a crush on your teammate for five years?” you teased. Callum laughed loudly, bumping his shoulder into yours.

“Only if I can tell them that I had a crush on Charlie too, the two of you are a certified ‘Power Couple’. You going to be ok playing against him today?” Callum’s tone lowered.

“It’s no different than any other time we’ve played against each other the last three years,” you shrugged.

“Except this is the final. And the last match of your careers. And you’re both respectively the best players your houses have ever had.” Callum started listing off all the reasons why you wouldn’t be ok playing against your boyfriend of three years.

“Yeah, we discussed all of that the other night-“

“I don’t want to hear about your pillow talk!” You rolled your eyes.

“If we win, I will be proud of our team. If we lose, I’ll still be proud of our team for getting this far and I’ll be proud of him. Our relationship will be fine.”

“That’s good to know, but if I need to beat him up with my bat let me know, ok?”

“Of course. You’ll be the first person I go to.” Having made it to the locker room, you opened up your locker and pulled out the yellow robes. You discarded the yellow sweater you were wearing, keeping up the friendly chatter with Callum as the rest of your teammates joined you and dressed for the match.

Right before it was time for you to enter the tunnel to the pitch, you pulled your team into a huddle.

“Whatever happens today on that pitch, I want you all to know I’m proud of you. Hufflepuff hasn’t gotten this far in the cup in years. We were an underdog in every way and we made it here by fighting tooth and nail. Every minute of that game is representative of who we are as a team. Gryffindors can be intimidating sometimes, but listen to me. You deserve to be there just as much as they do. I believe in each and every one of you, now let’s go show the school why badgers are the best.” Your teammates cheered, and you entered the tunnel to wait to be told to enter the pitch.

After a few minutes of listening to the cheers of the spectators, you mounted your brooms and flew around the pitch. You settled yourself in the center, next to Madam Hooch. The Gryffindors were then announced, and the bright red head of hair that had been distracting you all morning was easy to spot as it sped around the pitch and settled in front of you.

“This will be a clean game. You both have been here long enough to know what I expect. Keep your teams in line. Understood?” You and Charlie both nodded, your eyes finally meeting his. You both broke into giant smiles as you reached out to shake his hand. Charlie gave your hand a squeeze, the only physical contact between the two of you in two days. You moved away from the center of the pitch to your respective positions, and Madam Hooch started the game.

The game itself was fast and intense. It had been a while since you had played with bludgers moving so fast, you and Callum were doing everything you could to keep your players on their brooms. Gryffindor’s beaters were younger and less experienced, but played with the same reckless confidence as any other Gryffindor. You and Callum were known for your accuracy and cooperation, which was really being put to the test as the Gryffindors were sending back anything you sent at them with quick force.

Your whole team knew that it was almost guaranteed Charlie would catch the snitch. Your seeker, Maeve Henry, was a sixth year who was a very good player and accepted that Charlie was better but would still try her best. It was up to your chasers to make up the difference in points that Gryffindor would gain with the snitch.

For the first part of the game, both teams were trading goals. Then, the Gryffindor chasers pulled a few formations out of their sleeves and put themselves up by a few goals. In a moment of calm, you noticed a shift, so you kicked your broom into gear.

“Callum, the wind!” you passed by your teammate close enough that he could hear you as you moved yourself in the path of a bludger heading for your youngest chaser. There was a very satisfying crack as your bat made contact, sending the ball spinning. In the lull of the game, you had noticed a shift in the wind. It had picked up speed, and was making a difference in the way the players broomsticks were moving. Veterans of the game, you and Callum had mastered using the wind to your advantage while the Gryffindor beaters were having trouble connecting clearly with the bludgers. As they began misjudging their positioning, you were just getting started. Hufflepuff was able to score four more goals during this chaos, bringing the game back to about even.

It felt like you had been in the air forever. Your players were getting tired, you could tell, and the game was starting to get sloppy.

“Cool it,” you reminded your keeper after he got heated about the validity of a goal Gryffindor had just scored. You scanned the pitch for the bludgers, noticing one heading low towards one of your chasers. At the same time, you saw the familiar mop of red hair accelerate upwards, towards a tiny glint of gold. You sped up, bat extended. You knew what had to happen.

“What a play! Ladies and gents this is truly a battle of the best of the best! Weasley would have had the snitch if (y/l/n/) had not sent that bludger so perfectly placed between him and his goal! I’m sure she’ll hear about that later tonight, if you know what I mean-“ the game’s announcer, a Ravenclaw named Bentley, was reprimanded by Professor Mcgonagall.

Due to the direction of the bludger, Charlie was forced to turn at the last minute giving the snitch enough time to disappear into the pitch again.

Your attention was pulled to knocking a bludger away from your chasers, and as you settled into a new position on the pitch you felt a warm presence hover closer to you.

“That was cheeky,” Charlie said nonchalantly.

“Wasn’t going to let you win that easily,” you quipped.

“Make a bet with me?” His eyes were scanning the pitch for the snitch, your eyes were focused on the bludgers.

“Sure, what did you have in mind?”

“If you win, butterbeers on me this weekend. If we win, butterbeers on you.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Weasley,” you shot him a quick grin before peeling away to hit a bludger.

You and Callum were able to intercept the opposing chasers long enough for your team to get ahead in points before the snitch was spotted again, this time by your seeker. You kept her in your peripherals, still watching chasers and bludgers from the other side of the pitch. Hufflepuff only needed to score four more goals to negate the points that Gryffindor could get from Charlie catching the snitch, but you were still holding out hope your seeker would do her job as well as she had been all season.

“It looks like Henry has spotted the snitch! This could mean a win for Hufflepuff! Wait- what’s she doing?” Bently’s voice echoed around the arena. As you were tracking a bludger, you noticed Maeve come to an abrupt halt high above the pitch. Charlie was nowhere near her.

“As quickly as she spotted it, it seems as though Henry has lost the snitch!”

All you saw after that was a blur of red, then the game stopped and there was Charlie. His arm was outstretched, with thin golden wings fluttering feebly between his fingers.

“WEASLEY HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH, GRYFFINDOR WINS! THIS IS QUIDDITCH HISTORY FOLKS!”

From across the pitch, you admired your boyfriend’s confident grin. His eyes found yours, and his expression softened. You gave him a “I’m proud of you” smile, then turned on your broom to comfort your teammates as his team surrounded him.

“I’m still proud of you guys,” you reminded your sullen teammates in the locker room afterwards as you were hanging up your robes and pulling your thick sweater over your shoulders.

“But we lost,” the second years piped up.

“You all just played the best game of Quidditch I’ve ever been a part of. That’s something to be proud of. I am honored to have captained a team who can play at this quality.” The younger players perked up a little, leaving the locker room talking about their best plays of the game. Callum came up behind you and slung his arm over your shoulder as you watched them leave.

“Well, no more Quidditch for us,” he said with a satisfied sigh.

“I don’t think that’s true. With Charlie in my life there’s no way I’m escaping that easily. And I’m still holding out for you going pro.”

“You think so? (y/n), you’re a better player than I am and everyone knows it. If anyone were to go pro it would be you.”

“You’re a hard worker and a good player. If you were given the opportunity it would not be wasted. It has been a pleasure playing with you, Callum,” you were sincere.

“I could go to the Quidditch World Cup and it still would not compare to the five years we played here.”

“Agreed.”

You were both silent for a moment.

“I’m heading back up to the castle, are you coming?” Callum finally spoke.

“I’m going to stay out here for a while, I’ll be up soon.” Callum nodded, patting you on the shoulder as he left. You wandered back onto the pitch, laying down on the grass in the middle of the field and staring up at the sky. After ten minutes of you laying there alone, someone joined you, laying down in the grass to your left.

“Thought you’d be here,” Charlie said, taking your left hand in his right and tracing over it. You kept your eyes on the clouds passing overhead.

“Thought you’d be in Gryffindor Tower celebrating.”

“I made an appearance, nobody will notice I’m gone. I had more important things to attend to anyways.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Had to get back at you for distracting me that whole game,” you could hear the grin on Charlie’s face as he dropped your hand.

“Distracting you?”

“You just looked so beautiful hitting bludgers at my friends, I had to keep reminding myself to stop looking at you and start looking for the snitch so I could end the game and finally get my arms around you again,” Charlie’s fingers moved to your stomach, tickling you lightly.

You pushed his hands away, stifling a giggle, “that was awfully cheesy, Charles.”

“I’m just glad we’re done playing Quidditch against each other. This whole ‘not seeing each other the day before and day of a match’ is getting old. I want to see you every day, all the time.”

“I want that too,” you said quietly.

“Really?” Charlie got excited, you could hear it in his voice.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” you laughed, turning on your side to face him.

“This is going to sound crazy, but hear me out. There’s a dragon sanctuary in Romania, Hagrid knows someone who works there and he said they have a few positions opening up. Let’s move to Romania once we’re done here and work with dragons and love each other forever.” You could tell by the look in Charlie’s bright eyes that he was serious.

“Let’s do it,” you leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek. Charlie was so ecstatic that he wrapped his arms around you and kissed you fully on the lips.

“Guess I owe you butterbeer, huh?” you said once you broke apart.

“You just agreed to move to Romania and work with dragons with me, that’s even better than butterbeer.” Charlie sighed happily, running his hands through your hair as you settled on his chest.

“How was your team afterwards?” Charlie broke the comfortable silence that was sitting between you.

“They were upset, of course. It was such a good game though, they had a lot of good memories that outshine the loss.”

“It’s because they have such a good captain,” Charlie pinched your cheeks between his fingers.

“Whatever you’re doing in practice has been working, your beaters were much stronger this year than they were last year,” Charlie laughed at your comment, his chest expanding with each breath.

“You and Callum are the strongest team of beaters in the whole school.” Now it was your turn to laugh.

“I think he’s going to go pro.”

“Doesn’t he already have a job squared away at MACUSA?” Charlie knew quite a lot about Callum, since he was the person you spent the most time with after Charlie.

“Yes, but I think the Irish national team would be dumb not to take him as soon as they have a beater spot open up.”

“If Callum plays for Ireland and they go to the World Cup we’ll go to the match, ok?”

“Even if we’re in Romania?”

“Especially if we’re in Romania. Mum would kill me if we didn’t visit from time to time. We can take the kids to the match with us.” Charlie explained as if it was obvious.

“I like talking about the future with you, about having a future with you,” you said contently.

“Shall we head back up to the castle and talk about our future there? I need some food and I’m sure you do too,” Charlie suggested. You stood up and pulled Charlie to his feet, giving him another kiss there in the middle of the Quidditch pitch.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

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#charlie weasley #charlie weasley ff #charlie weasley fanfic #charlie weasley fanfiction #charlie weasley x reader #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfic #harry potter and the goblet of fire #dragons

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posseideux · 5 years

Text

Why My Candy Love died, and why it matters

(half-assedly written by Gemini Charlie)

If you were a twelve year old girl in 2010, you’ll probably remember those ads for a game called “My Candy Love”. Flirt with the boy of your dreams! they said. It looked to be the perfect game, especially for the ones of us getting into anime and manga, due to its heavily anime inspired style and feel. You might still follow this game, like many of the original players do to this day.

Now let me tell you, I was an active participant in this fandom for a very long time. I still have the first 3 tomes of the manga(even if their quality is less than absimol) and I got the first artbook when it came out. I loved this game with all of my might, and I wanted to create something similar when I grew up. For a while I was also one of the annoying people who screamed betrayal at every new thing I didn’t like(we’ll get to that) and when they announced the new version of the game, Campus Life, I was thrilled. Something like MCL but more mature! It just had to be good… but why is it not?

First, let’s start with how most of us discovered My Candy Love: Imagine you, at the ripe age of eleven years old. You’re probably playing a dress up game, or just a standard game on Y8 or Coolmathgames. Then, you see this ad: It’s pink, it’s shiny, and it has three beautiful boys: A red haired hottie, and blonde smart one, and a beautiful, charming white-haired man. Flirt with them all, it tells you. And just like that, click! and you’re in.

Chances are you probably named yourself something like EmoQueen, or xX_beautykills_Xx, because that’s just how the internet was back then. You started up the game, and ever since, every day of the many years to come, you would log back in. Months upon months were spent searching for the students in Sweet Amoris High School, looking to finish the ridiculous missions of this game. Or perhaps you spent hours upon hours chatting up with other fans of the game on the forums about whatever was popular at the time. Whichever it was, you loved that darn game, and you would play it even after it was finished!

But really take the time to think about it. Was My Candy Love really that good? The writing was stiff, the characters were stereotypical or empty at best. Why did we love this game that was clearly not written with that much love or talent? Let me direct you to a critic that I believe most of you know: the Nostalgia Critic. If you have no clue of who he is, he is a movie critic(somewhat) who makes videos about old but popular movies and all the bad stuff that’s in them. Now, of course, the Critic didn’t say anything about My Candy Love, that would be kind of odd considering his main audience, but we can learn a thing or two about one of his videos, the one about Hocus Pocus, to be exact.

In it, the Critic talks about how Halloween culture loves Hocus Pocus, which wouldn’t hold up in our current culture because it’s not that good, but because they watched it as kids it has a certain charm. I think the same happened with My Candy Love. We all loved it as twelve year old girls, but now that we know better, we can clearly see that, well… it’s pretty horrible.

The “high schoolers” don’t really act like teenagers, neither do they look the part, and the story has no conflict or interesting things to say. Despite that, we all loved it. And, if you’re like me, you still kind of do.

The problem is, it is so anchored in our childhoods that all of its flaws are okay. To this day, I still like the fact that the story is kind of ridiculous and out of touch. I like the stereotypes and the almost fantasy-like vision of high school. But then, something happened: The writers delved into serious matters. Badly.

Here is a writing lesson for you: Find a tone, and stick to it. If your story is supposed to be funny, you can’t just go full serious out of nowhere. If your story is serious, you can’t just go and slap a comic relief on that bad boy and expect it to go well. My Candy Love was always an unrealistic, romance-based game with no real plot, but with the last few episodes, the tone changed completely from dumb to dull.

For example, after a few chill episodes of theater and romance, you are hit with a new episode: Nathaniel, the blonde one, has been going through physical abuse from his father, and you have to help him. Huh, that’s new. Remember, the game, up to this point, has been pretty ridiculous and not serious at all. To me, this episode felt like those PSAs from the 90s trying to get you not to take marijuana while having Bugs Bunny tell you so. It just felt weird.

And after that, they didn’t stop: Blackmail, dating apps, condoms, STDs… all written with about as much grace as a naked man covered in lube trying to walk on ice. And that, my friends, started what I would call the downfall of this game.

Episode 40 came out. The characters graduated, your main character is happy in her relationship, and the end? You get laid… and that’s it. If you’ve ever tried to write an emotional scene or a good ending to a long story, you would know that it’s really hard to do so well and get all of the side stories well closed and done. So, considering the fact that this game is written like a twelve year old girl’s fanfiction(how fitting), you can assume how horrible the ending was. Why was it so bad? Campus Life.

I’m not gonna make you sit through the whole last episode, because it’s long and boring, but here is how it ends: You’re in bed with your lover, and your MC reflects about the future and what’s to come. Then, it cuts to a “some years later” shot, with a new school, where the main character is older and having a conversation about her last year of university with her former best buddy from high school. And, just like that, you are invited to continue your adventure to University.

Great! You think to yourself. There are so many possibilities for cool stuff in Uni, it’s gonna be ridiculous and beautiful, I bet! But no, of course it’s not. Remember how the original game was good because of how bad it was? Well, this game isn’t horrible, but it’s not good either, which makes it a thousand times worse.

Tommy Wiseau created The Room, a movie infamous for being so bad it’s actually really fun to watch and try to understand. Now, imagine if he came out with The Room 2, a completely okay written, realistic movie about the main character’s work. You watch it and… it’s horrible. But not the right kind, that is. That’s what Campus Life feels like: something that could have been great but is just bad instead, because the writers didn’t stick to the right tone.

Also, this game feels like it was pushed upon the players, which just makes most people want to dislike it, and it’s very easy to do so. The final episode of the real game, which is what I call it, ends in a hurry to make place for this serious, boring game that no one in their right mind would enjoy playing. In fact, CL didn’t just affect the last episode, it affected the last 10 to 15 episodes, because the writers tried to change the mood of the game to make it more serious to fit their sequel.

So, Campus Life ruined the ending of a game that could have been so much better(even if better means more ironically enjoyable) by trying to remove what made it so good. Because of that, no one wants to play the new game because the charm of My Candy Love is gone, and our love for it is dead.

The fandom might not be dead to some of you, but to me, this game has lost all of the charm that it once had, and it makes me sad to see so little care for the situation coming from the creators(and that’s a whole other problem). I loved this game to bits, and no, if you were wondering, I’m not going to play the new version, because it sucks, but it doesn’t suck as well as its former self. And that’s what made it so good in the first place.

Thank you for listening, the exits are at the back

#my candy love #mcl #mclul #campus life #my candy love campus life #essay #long post #very long post #hate me all you like #mclul sucks

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chrisfranklinchow · 6 years

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1, 19, 42, 47 💗💗

yay thanks charlie!! 💗💗💗

1: first things first, did you have a good year?

i have mixed feelings about 2017, it had its highs and lows :”)) i did some interesting things like i went out of the country more often and learnt to style myself better haha. i graduated, strengthened relationships and did some fandom stuff i didn’t expect to do! but at the same time, i did lose some friends, stopped working and was rejected from university so that sucks. i’m grateful for the rollercoaster that is 2017 and i’m ready for 2018!!!

19: what was one nice thing you did for yourself?

i bought myself a sticker maker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

42: what are you most proud of accomplishing?

like all i can think about is the omgcp x buzzfeed unsolved thing i made recently lmao……… also update: i published my first fic after such a long time!!! (maybe 10 years??)

47: if you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year?

- read more books and watch more tv shows/movies.- exercise more often (hold me accountable y’all)- get into university (unrealistic lmao)- love myself and treat myself better!!!!!!!!!!

end of year meme

#trescorgiboys #asks

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thejoeydavis · 7 years

Text

Movies of 2016

(I’m posting this late but for archival purposes I’m putting it here)

Every January I do a list of all the movies I watched over the past year in chronological order and this,, as you can tell,, is that list. Each movie is rated out of 10 and rounded to the nearest whole number for simplicity and because I use the letterboxd app to log all my movies and it uses a 5 star system. These number ratings are meant to be as objective as possible, which means they’re judged on commonly agreed upon film conventions and what most critics and kinophiles would consider to be “good film,” as pretentious as that sounds. Really it just means I went with my gut feeling and then considered technical aspects and effectiveness on all of these. Paired with each are some thoughts to talk about what I liked or disliked, how it made me feel, etc. I’ll try to keep it short on as many as I can since there are so many. tl;dr: top 10 is at the bottom

Anomalisa – 7 – a predictably depressing Charlie Kaufman film about loneliness and being human—somewhat ironic considering it’s a stop motion film. Don’t let the puppets with 3d printed faces fool you; this is a very human movie with one of the most realistic sex scenes ever captured on film. Probably don’t see this with your mom like I did.

Inside Llewyn Davis – 8 – one of my favorite movies of the past few years and one of my top Coen bros movies. The charismatic but dickish performance by Oscar Isaac and beautiful folk soundtrack depicts a hard life for a musician in early 1960s New York that will make you feel better about yourself (unless you’re a musician).

Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl – 8 – also one of my favorite movies of the past few years, this love letter to classic film by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon is a beautiful story of a popular kid in high school who befriends a girl with terminal cancer. Essentially Perks of Being a Wallflower meets criterion collection.

Project X – 7 – one of my guilty pleasure movies. Lots of fun.

The Hateful Eight (70mm) – 6 – I got to see this in 70mm complete with preshow overture and intermission and it was an incredible experience. I loved the movie but it’s not Tarantino’s best by any stretch. Note the huge disparity in rating from last year when I gave it a 9.2. This film is not a 9.2.

The Forest – 3 – in this movie Natalie Dormer goes to the Japanese suicide forest to search for her sister who went missing. Suicide is a very apt theme here considering how heavily I considered ending my life during this movie. Truly awful.

Carol – 6 – one of those movies that I know is good but I just didn’t enjoy. It’s about Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett as they try to hide their forbidden romantic relationship in 1950s New York. Long, slow, but very pretty and touching, I’d recommend it if you like character driven stories—especially ones about LGBT issues because it’s very good in that regard.

Hail, Caesar – 7 – underrated mystery film by the Coen’s about old Hollywood and communists. More along the lines of the Big Lebowski than No Country For Old Men. Just a really fun movie with a great sense of world building that makes 1930s Hollywood really come alive.

Deadpool – 7 – pretty funny and exactly the kind of movie Ryan Reynolds and fans wanted. Probably the only good Marvel movie made by Fox.

The Witch – 8 – a visceral and disturbing film about a cursed life in 1600s New England, The Witch (stylized as The VVitch) is one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen. Be warned though, it’s the definition of slow burn horror so you’ll probably dislike it if you’re used to modern horror films.

10 Cloverfield Lane – 7 – one of the big surprises of the year and also one of the most thrilling, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Goodman both give excellent performances. It’s basically a bottle episode completely unrelated to the first film. People have criticized Winstead’s character for her actions at the end but it completes her character arc perfectly so it definitely works.

Room – 8 – beautiful film. Somewhat overrated.

Brooklyn – 8 – one of my favorites from 2015 and immensely enjoyable from start to finish. This story of an Irish girl moving to Brooklyn shows that the conflict doesn’t have to be high stakes for it to be compelling.

Batman v Superman – 4 – wow surprise surprise, Zack Snyder made another shit movie. Awful film full of clichés and nonsensical dialogue, bizarre editing, and the incredibly moronic decision to try and kickstart an entire cinematic universe in a dreadfully painful 2+ hour runtime. This movie sucks and DC needs to either hire some competent scriptwriters and directors or just give up already.

Zootopia – 7 – ah the quintessential furry movie 2016. I really enjoyed this and it has great rewatch value. One of the most beautifully animated movies of the year.

Midnight Special – 6 – I had no expectations for this movie and I was pleasantly surprised by it, although somewhat let down by the ending. It’s an interesting story about a kid with unknown supernatural powers being smuggled to a specific coordinates where he says something will happen. The mystery unfolds throughout the run time and there are some pretty cool scenes. Fun sci-fi to rent maybe.

Midnight in Paris – 7 – 1920s Paris is arguably one of the best eras to be alive in and Woody Allen captures the magic of the period well. As with most modern Woody Allen films it’s pretty cheesy—especially the modern day scenes—but the scenes that take place in the 1920s with F Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, and Picasso are truly a delight. One of my favorite movies from 2011.

Captain America Civil War – 7 – not bad but much worse than Winter Soldier. It was enjoyable at least and miles ahead of Avengers 2.

Green Room – 8 – a disturbing, white-knuckle rollercoaster of a film that follows a punk band as they fight off a bar full of alt-righ—I mean neo-nazis. An absolute must-see.

The Nice Guys – 7 – fun from start to finish, Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe give two funny and over the top performances in this 1970s period film about two detectives who get caught up in a case that’s way over their heads. Definite recommendation. Crowe’s performance in the first third/half or so is very melodramatic and over the top cool-guy but I believe it was intended to be tongue in cheek so don’t let it throw you.

The Jungle Book – 6 – not bad.

Raiders of the Lost Ark – 9 – a near perfect movie and one of, if not the best action movie of all time.

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Make Happy – 8 – Bo Burnham tweeted about a special premiere screening of his new special back in March so I bought tickets and went with Andrew to see it. We went to the Largo in West Hollywood and were treated to a short comedy show and the grand premiere of Make Happy, Bo’s last one-man show for the foreseeable future. It was an incredible experience.

The World of Tomorrow – 8 – it’s only 16 minutes and it’s by Don Herzfeldt—what’s not to love? Get ready for an existential crisis.

The Conjuring 2 – 7 – pretty spooky in some parts with a cool little i spy game you can play with the name of the ghost demon lady. Not as good as the first.

Finding Dory – 7 – older Pixar films have a certain level of charm that all their films post-Toy Story 3 (barring Monsters University) don’t seem to have and this is no exception. It was very enjoyable but it just felt like it doesn’t have the magic that the old ones have.

The Shallows – 4 – the amount of praise this movie received was deadass baffling. This is one of the worst movies I’ve seen this year and I don’t see how so many people missed the cliché dialogue and plot, ridiculous shark cgi, exploitative ass shots, and absolutely insane and unrealistic attempts to kill the shark. Critics and audiences comparing this to Jaws is an insult to not only Spielberg, but also the art of filmmaking itself.

Frances Ha – 9 – one of my favorite movies of all time, this black and white indie film by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig is a cozy tale of solipsistic loneliness, friendship, and following your dreams. It’s depressing, but in a very relatable and reassuring way. Greta Gerwig as the New York dancer Frances is so believable that seeing her in other roles feels almost disingenuous. Honestly if you watch anything on this list you should watch this first, foremost and as soon as possible. It’s on netflix!

Mistress America – 7 – another one by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig and it was actually my introduction to their work. I loved this movie when I first saw it but it pales in comparison to Frances. Still a great movie with wonderful acting and snappy as hell dialogue. Fun fact: Noah Baumbach worked with Wes Anderson in the past and it shows here, especially in the dialogue.

The Neon Demon – 8 – one of the most polarizing films of the year but a definite return to form by the near infamous Nicolas Winding Refn. The success of the 2011 masterpiece Drive was not good for Refn’s ego apparently as he followed it up with the nauseatingly self-indulgent Only God Forgives. Thank goodness he was able to find a balance between pure art film and accessible indie film with the Neon Demon. It’s by no means very accessible but the acting, especially from the main girls and a sleazy Keanu Reeves, is great and the visuals are incredibly surreal and v e r y v e r y n e o n . Recommend if you like artsy films with lots of sex and blood.

Back to the Future – 10 – a textbook example of what a perfect movie looks like.

It Follows – 8 – nothing but love for this creepy and atmospheric 2015 horror/suspense film about the end of childhood and the impending dread of adulthood. Really it’s about a supernatural shape shifting thing with its “rule” being that acts like an std being passed down through sexual partners. If the thing catches you, it then goes after the previous person in the chain and so on, so the only way to save yourself is to pass it on or run endlessly in futility. Please do see this it’s great.

The Secret Life of Pets – 6 – a disappointment but Louis CK as a dog was fun to see.

Hush – 5 – not very good Netflix horror movie about a guy terrorizing a deaf lady at her home in the woods for some reason.

Snatch – 6 – I suppose if I were more familiar with Guy Ritchie’s work I would’ve enjoyed it more but it looks like it was shot by a Tarantino wannabe edgelord and edited in windows moviemaker. Still entertaining though.

Horace and Pete – 10 – Horace and Pete is a dramedy web series multi-camera sitcom written, directed, and produced by Louis CK and it’s the single best serial program I’ve ever seen. This is a true masterpiece in every sense and the writing and acting is some of the best in a serial program. It was so good that I actually could not enjoy anything else for days after because everything paled in comparison. For example, I watched Stranger Things the day after I finished this and I had to stop watching three episodes in because it was completely and utterly awful compared to Horace and Pete. The quality of writing is unbelievable and I laughed and cried at many many points. Louis CK, Steve Buscemi, Edie Falco, and Alan Alda, bring career defining performances to the small screen and I cannot wait to watch it again—although I’m not sure I’m prepared for it.

Breathless (1960) – 7 – one of the most defining films of the French New Wave, this film by Jean Luc-Godard is a love story shot in some of the most unconventional ways I’ve seen in a film. It’s not surreal or weird but it certainly is interesting. Worth a watch if you like the cinematography of Wes Anderson, Woody Allen, or Louis CK—although it’s a much more saturated French New Wave style since all those styles are derivative of this. Has some of the most intriguing and innovative tracking/dolly shots I’ve ever seen. In fact, at one point two characters are walking down the street but they couldn’t afford a dolly for the tracking shot, so they had the cameraman sit in a wheelchair and film while someone pulled him backwards to make the shot. Really that’s what French New Wave is all about: innovating and using filmmaking techniques that were unprecedented at the time.

Star Trek Beyond – 6 – a really fun return to the franchise that actually felt somewhat like a Star Trek film—unlike that last one. It’s still just an action movie franchise now but it’s just a real good time.

Lights Out – 3 – again, the praise this film received was COMPLETELY unwarranted and totally baffling. This movie blows and is so saturated with clichés that I can’t imagine liking this film. don’t waste ur time.

Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates – 5 – actually hilarious movie. Really dumb but so goddamn funny. Zach Efron and Adam Devine are a great duo. Has arguably the best exchange about fisting in the history of film.

Café Society – 6 – a pretty good modern Woody Allen film. Much better than his last two, Irrational Man and Magic in the Moonlight. It’s nice to see a film from Woody Allen that isn’t about a much older man falling in love with a much younger woman.

Suicide Squad – 2 – “roses are red/there is no god/my favorite movie?/suicide squad.” – Gideon Ondap deadass one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I wrote a 10 page essay on this after it came out but basically the editing is jarring enough to induce brain trauma, the acting is atrocious, and the script is objectively bad. A complete and utter failure of a film. The name is a warning.

The Room – 1 – another one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen yet 1000x more enjoyable than Suicide Squad. Tommy Wisseau is a genius and this is his magnum opus. Required viewing. Also I must say that a Suicide Squad/The Room double feature makes for one of the funniest nights of life.

Scott Pilgrim vs The World – 8 – honestly one of my favorite movies. A super well done adaptation directed by Edgar Wright, this film is able to stand independently next to the already spectacular Scott Pilgrim graphic novel series. The music is incredible. It never gets old.

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Sausage Party – 5 – obscene, racist, vulgar, and dumb as hell with a giant food orgy at one point. Still laughed at much of it.

Captain Fantastic – 8 – a dad raising his kids to survive in the wilderness of Washington must bring them into society to attend their dead mother’s funeral. A big surprise and one of the most enjoyable movies I saw this year.

Don’t Think Twice – 8 – Mike Birbiglia has always been one of my favorite comedians because his stories were so heartwarming, wholesome, and packed to the brim with jokes that would reward you on multiple viewings or listens. Don’t Think Twice is Mike’s second movie I believe, and it’s about an improv group in Brooklyn having fun doing their craft while trying to make a life for themselves. When you’re a comedian/improviser,, your friends are too, but if one of you actually gets a big break then it’s that person’s break and no one else’s. It causes a lot of tension between performers because even though they’re all friends, they’re still actively competing in a highly sought after profession. Judd Apatow came out after he saw the movie and said how accurately it depicts the life of comedy performers. It’s a really depressing (in a relatable way) and realistic take on the competitive world of improv and deals with friendship, comedy, and how cruel life can really be. Beautiful movie.

American Beauty – 8 – really did not like this the first time but warmed up to it on the second viewing and it really shines despite many dated aspects.

Antz – 6 – woody allen as a ant oy vey

Back to the Future II – 5 – pretty bad sequel until he goes back to 1955. Worse than the third tbh

Everybody Wants Some!! – 7 – even after the abortion that was Boyhood I didn’t give up on Richard Linklater and I’m glad I didn’t. This spiritual sequel to Dazed and Confused (but in the 80s this time!) was a ton of fun.

Clapping for the Wrong Reasons – 8 – this short film written by Donald Glover and directed by Hiro Murai is about a surreal day in the life of The Boy, a character Donald Glover created as the speaker of his Because the Internet album (his magnum opus imo). Hot take: Chance v Bino push up contest contender for best film scene ever.

Kubo and the Two Strings – 7 – the most beautiful disappointment of the year. The incredible stop motion animation is unfortunately much more enjoyable than the underwhelming story. Not as good as Coraline.

Hell or High Water – 8 – the director of photography from Sicario returns for this modern western about two brothers who rob the banks that screwed over their mother. Great performances from Jeff Bridges, Ben Foster, and Chris Pine.

Don’t Breathe – 7 – this horror film about three thieves who break into an old blind man’s house borders on exploitation film towards the end. Not that bad.

Blair Witch – 6 – not as bad as everyone said it was. It’s a soft reboot of 99’s Blair Witch Project but with a modern horror twist—which means it relies mainly on jump scares and unnecessary use of found footage tropes rather than atmosphere building and genuine terror. I still thoroughly enjoyed it and thought the last 15 minutes or so were really spooky. The creature design was really great and the way time moved was an interesting horror device. If you liked the first one but were bored by it then you’ll probably like this one because it moves a bit faster although you might be bored by it too. Oh but side note: that drone scene was fucking stupid.

Over The Garden Wall – 10 – this 10 episode cartoon network animated miniseries aired in the fall of 2014 and follows two boys as they wander through the woods to find their way back home. It stars Elijah Wood, Christopher Lloyd, Melanie Lynskey, John Cleese, Tom Lennon, and Tim Curry among others. The story itself is inspired by Dante Alighieri’s Inferno and the music is inspired by early 20th century Americana folk music. It’s literally the single most charming thing I’ve ever seen and it’s an absolute MUST SEE.

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Doctor Strange – 7 – not much to say about this one but I liked it. The visuals were top notch and although Dr Strange is basically just Tony Stark pt 2, it makes sense considering how much lesser of a role Stark will play in later movies. I’m really excited for the new Thor movie now.

The Purge Election Year – 4 – each Purge movie is better than the last and this third installment is still a 4. That’s pretty much all there is to say. There are some legitimately hilarious parts in this though—all unintentional.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? – 7 – another silly Coen film and one of their most accessible. Good film based on the Odyssey.

Arrival – 9 – Dennis Villeneuve is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors after last year’s Sicario and now 2016’s Arrival. This is a film about humanity, the complete frivolity of our problems, and how staying divided will be our undoing. The cinematography is breathtaking, the score is great (much of it follows the circle of 5ths, which will make sense after watching), the acting is good, and the film just has a beautiful sense of scope to it. I encourage you to watch this and DON’T WATCH ANY TRAILERS OR READ ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I assure you; you’ll want to go into this as blind as possible (and you should never watch trailers anyway they literally ruin films). In Trump’s America this movie is even more important so please I urge you to watch this.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – 5 – the Phantom Menace of the Harry Potter universe, Fantastic Beasts has so much exposition and forced world building that anyone who hasn’t seen the first 8 hp films will probably have a tough time figuring out what’s going on. The opening sequence is literally just a montage of newspaper headlines saying how terrible this dark wizard is, which was done in harry potter but over the span of roughly 3 movies rather than 1 minute. Overall positives: the creature designs were fun, Jacob was rad, the humor was effective, the cgi wasn’t /that/ bad, newt’s hair was wavy af (and he was a hufflepuff, which I appreciate), and the costumes may get an Oscar nomination. As for the cons: so much panning, craning, and tracking that I could barely see what was going on due to low framerate, the first 10-15 minutes are a suicide squad level editing disaster, the pacing was weird at times, they revealed who the main antagonist was in his actual first scene, too many plotlines interweaved, inexcusably bad framing in a few shots, and the ending was a little bit Chekhov’s gun but was pretty much deus ex machina. This just didn’t feel as magical as the harry potter films and, like star wars 7, it feels like a failed attempt to recapture what made people love the franchise in the first place. It was a very flawed film but I still enjoyed it and will watch it again.

Moana – 6 – VERY overrated but still good. How a lot of people felt about Frozen is how I feel about this movie. The animation was incredible, the voice acting was great, the songs were good (although not nearly as catchy or memorable as Frozen, save for Shiny) and it ends up being another Tangled, a movie I enjoyed but will forget about very soon—hell I’ve already forgotten about it. Just think about how long Frozen was a thing. People were talking about Frozen for months after and I haven’t seen anyone mention Moana since its opening weekend. Overall a huge disappointment. Zootopia was the far superior animated feature this year.

The Handmaiden – 8 – my first Park Chan-wook film and I loved it ! This film is fucking enigma for the first half and then as soon as one detail is revealed it suddenly opens up and becomes an incredible psychological thriller. I honestly was not enjoying this film for the first act or so because of how seemingly meaningless it was but it really shaped up to be one of my favorites of the year. Never before have I experienced a film that made me 180 on opinion during the course of its runtime. Be warned: don’t see this with your parents or anyone you would feel awkward watching porn with because this shit is basically pornography at MANY points during the film. I don’t know if my friend and his brother have forgiven me yet.

Unedited Footage of a Bear – 8 – there’s a tl;dr at the bottom of this one because it’s a little long and expository. I was watching an idubbbz video (https://youtu.be/5Bs45yITIt0) back in November and many criticized how unfunny and bizarre it was compared to his other content. People started to speculate that he was doing a metafictional series about his channel along the lines of alantutorial (https://www.youtube.com/user/alantutorial), a channel in which performance artist Alan Resnick plays a fictionalized version of himself who is depicted as a mentally ill young man obsessed with making tutorial videos. This alantutorial series is a commentary on poorly made tutorial videos that flood youtube, as well as social media in general and the overwhelming desire for likes, favorites, going viral, etc. after discovering Alan Resnick and watching all his videos I started to seek out his other content and I found this short film that aired as part of Adult Swim’s infomercial slot at 4 a.m. This may sound familiar to some as the timeslot for Too Many Cooks, which went viral. This short film, titled Unedited Footage of a Bear, can be watched here: https://youtu.be/2gMjJNGg9Z8 and parodies those commercials you’ll often see on tv about drugs that are peddled to mentally ill people without proper testing. This film depicts addiction as a force that can and will ruin your life, your family’s life, and will kill you if left unchecked. There’s an explanation you can watch here: https://youtu.be/_2e5ia9j0TA that explains it really well and is worth the watch. tl;dr: cool 10-minute short horror film about addiction by performance artist Alan Resnick – check it out.

Twin Peaks (Pilot) – 8 – it was good

This House Has People In It – 8 – hey look another Alan Resnick short film. you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/x-pj8OtyO2I and the attempted explanation is here: https://youtu.be/mjBTAnCUbZc because this one is pretty complicated compared to footage of a bear. also worth the watch simply for the L O R E

No Country For Old Men – 10 – one of the best movies of this century hands down. not sure if I rate it quite as high as There Will Be Blood though, which came out the same year. The Coen’s crowning achievement (although you could argue that title belongs to The Big Lebowski for reasons)

Moonlight – 9 – a very heavy coming of age film about a young boy living in the south who attempts to find himself while growing up in an incredibly unforgiving environment. beautiful film and I’m excited to see it again. very very important film for LGBT issues.

Nocturnal Animals – 8 – one of the biggest surprises this year. I LOVED this movie and it stayed with me for days. as soon as it started I made a mental note that I’d have to really pay attention to everything because I figured it would be heavy with metaphor and symbolism and boi was I right about that. Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal give great performances and I honestly can’t tell you the last time I got so emotionally invested in a film. people have criticized Adams’ performance as melodramatic and cold, which is the point because she’s not supposed to be likeable. the narrative structure is refreshing and fun to piece together and the visuals were pretty alright. my favorite part of this movie was piecing together all the metaphors (of which there are many) and figuring out what the events of the Nocturnal Animals manuscript (in the film) means for the characters. It’s been a very polarizing film apparently, which surprised me since it doesn’t really try to be anything more than it is. It definitely rewards close observation but I can’t guarantee everyone will like this one. I won’t say more because going into it blind is the best way but I do recommend it. Tense, emotional, gripping, funny. It’s good.

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Star Wars Rogue One – 8 – I really enjoyed this. I probably don’t need to say much because it’s star wars but this was the best star wars film since Empire Strikes Back in my opinion (although episode III wasn’t that bad). the characters were a little flat, some of the humor was out of place, and the first 30 minutes had bad pacing, but overall it was great. the action in this one was insane and I’m so happy that we finally got to see a proper space battle (and holy shit is it a good one). this has one of my favorite moments of the entire series and it actually feels like a star wars movie unlike episode VII.

La La Land – 10 – I’m at a loss for words honestly. This movie is so fucking good. The soundtrack is incredible, the choreography is awesome, the cinematography is BEAUTIFUL, and the performances are wonderful. I could keep thinking of adjectives or I could just tell you to go see this movie as soon as you can. Best movie of the year hands down. LA has never looked so fucking good OH MAN please go see this movie you’ll surely regret it if you don’t. OH and we went to see this in the Vista Theater in LA, which was a once in a lifetime experience. See this in the most old-Hollywood theater you can because it actually improves it if that’s possible. Now there are some flaws, mainly in third act pacing, but it’s so enjoyable that it doesn’t matter.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – 10 – it’s a classic and could be considered a perfect film. not much to say but it’s definitely one of my favorites of all time. never gets old.

Home Alone – 8 – this was the first time I watched Home Alone and I liked it.

Assassin’s Creed – 6 – the neckbeard-y guy doing anime runs up and down the stairs of the theatre behind us really set the tone for this movie. I didn’t hate it but it was pretty dreary and I feel like almost nothing happened. I don’t think it translates to the screen well but it did capture the feel of the games, or at least the first one. Let’s just say after seeing this I went on a mission to watch at least one more movie so it wouldn’t be my last of the year.

Swiss Army Man – 7 – the praise for this movie was a bit unwarranted. It’s really silly and touching but it wasn’t the modern masterpiece that everyone was saying it was. maybe I missed something but the corpse of Daniel Radcliffe farting is only tolerable and funny for so long. I will say that this is one of the most unique movies I’ve ever seen, so I’ll give it props for that, and the soundtrack was actually incredible. I enjoyed it very much and need to watch it again but it was alright.

Come Together – 8 – an H&M short film by Wes Anderson that can be watched here: https://youtu.be/VDinoNRC49c . It was cute and I guess it’ll hold me over until Isle of Dogs, which comes out in 2018 (no it won’t)

The Lobster – 8 – this absurd commentary on relationships and their influence on society is just bizarre and has a wonderfully dry performance from Colin Farrell and, well, every other actor too. this film is just crazy and I really need to watch it again. Expect it to be on my next year’s list as well. TOP TEN RELEASED IN 2016 xxx 10 – The Nice Guys

9 – Hell or High Water

8 – The Handmaiden

7 – Don’t Think Twice

6 – The Witch

5 – Moonlight

4 – Nocturnal Animals

3 – Green Room

2 – Arrival

1 – La La Land honorable mentions: Captain Fantastic, Horace and Pete, The Neon Demon, Make Happy recommendations: Frances Ha, Mistress America, Over the Garden Wall, The World of Tomorrow, Midnight in Paris, Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl, The Lobster and finally the award for worst movie of the year goes to ,,,,, SUICIDE SQUAD duh. In 2016 I watched 77 movies, which is terrible considering I watched 124 last year and 92 in 2014. That gap from September to November really killed me in that regard and hopefully it won’t happen again or for as long next time. Overall this was actually a pretty weak year for movies it seems. Looking at my top of the year list, it looks significantly weaker than last year’s which had The Revenant, It Follows, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, Sicario, and Brooklyn. If anyone has questions or suggestions about anything I’d love to have a discussion so feel free. Here’s to another year of great movies. also if you’d like to follow me on twitter @thejoeydavis please do because I’m a huge slut for likes and I desperately want and need your approval. thanks for reading

#movies of 2016 #joey davis #joseph davis

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bytimbritton · 7 years

Text

Brevity is the soul of lit...reviews -- 2016 Part 1

City on Fire by Garth Risk Hallberg (2015)

"You are infinite. I see you. You are not alone."

I was as excited about Hallberg's debut novel as any in a long time, going back to my appreciation for his criticism over at The Millions. But his 911-page tome dedicated to 1970s New York tries so hard to say anything meaningful that it doesn't really care what that meaningful thing is. Hallberg set out to write a big ideas book without grounding it in any worthwhile ideas.

I read this shortly after watching Master of None, and I was thinking a lot around that time — maybe too much — about whether art earns its message; i.e. does it construct the foundation well enough to merit a cathartic payoff? (In Master's case, I thought not, contrary to most popular opinion.) Similarly, the connections Hallberg fosters among his diverse characters seem haphazard and rarely come together meaningfully. His thesis is this above-quoted line, which concludes the novel and, if we're being frank, is rather passé. I mean, this is the thesis of an awful lot of art (and a lot of awful art), and much of it earns it in a more fulfilling and cathartic way than City of Fire.

The narrative voice is inconsistent; teenage Charlie, in particular, uses a whole host of words I have a hard time seeing teenage Charlie actually using — things like après-ski and sepulchral and "the chaotic stalactites of the sprayed-on ceiling texture." The writing often reeks of effort, with batting gloves "scrunched scrotally" at the base of a nightstand or summer "like a flash of thigh beyond a janitor-propped door." No thanks, on both of those.

This is all coming across rather harsh, when the fact is I read these 900+ pages rather quickly. I don't think Hallberg is a bad writer by any stretch of the imagination. I felt while reading this the way I felt while reading something like Franzen's Twenty-Seventh City. This is the rough draft for what will be a much better and more fulfilling novel.

S by J.J. Abrams and Doug Dorst (2014)

S is a wonderful idea and engrossing project that, like The Usual Suspects, falls apart with the more scrutiny you apply to it. The dual explorations of a literary mystery and an incipient relationship through the marginalia of a bygone novel? Sign me up.

But by its end, S becomes a victim of its conceit. You can't make the suspense of Jen and Eric's literary discoveries linger if you tell the whole story non-chronologically — as the writing in the margins purports to do. The way around that, then, is to unrealistically limit their most revelatory commentary to the latter stages of Ship of Theseus. It's here where it crosses the line from just contrived enough to too.

The stakes of the literary mystery, which seem so high starting out, gradually decline throughout as you realize Jen and Eric will always be fine, and that the dangers they face can never actually be shown, only told.

Nevertheless, this was as engrossing a book as I read this year.

The Game by Jon Pessah (2015)

Read this in the spring considering it was a CBA year, and it was a fascinating glimpse at the behind-the-scenes owner-union dynamic around the '94 strike. Pessah doesn't hide his allegiances much; I doubt he'd have voted Bud Selig to the Hall of Fame, if you know what I mean. I learned a lot that I didn't know about how Selig gained power, how owners found their way to public money for stadiums and how they played the public relations game when it came to steroids.

My only problem was the incorporation of well-reported though seemingly irrelevant details about George Steinbrenner and the Yankees dynasty.

By Night in Chile by Roberto Bolano (2000)

"It's good to love. It's bad to be impressionable."

It has less to do with poetry or The Church than I expected, as it focuses more on the culture of acquiescence, even among artists, around the Pinochet Coup. I won't pretend to know enough about Chilean history — let alone Chilean literary history — to fully absorb the incisiveness of the satire. But holding soirees — and I know it's translated, but man is that the perfect word for the juxtaposition — a floor above torturous interrogations makes for a delicious critique.

Like some of Dostoevsky's works, Bolano can fall prey to a rambling, unlikable protagonist. In this one, though, that comes with the conceit.

Despair by Vladimir Nabokov (1965)

"I lied as a nightingale sings, ecstatically, self-obliviously."

Nabokov is that wonderful mix of fun and literary high-mindedness — an author who never bogs you down while delivering masters courses in how to craft a story. His protagonists make their monstrousness more relatable and often even palatable through their overwhelming self-centeredness — who can't relate to that? — and hilariously searing criticisms of others. Despair is not a masterpiece like Lolita, but it's still a damn good time.

10:04 by Ben Lerner (2014)

"Prosody and grammar as the stuff out of which we build a social world, a way of organizing meaning and time that belongs to nobody in particular but courses through us all."

Like the best shuffleboard players, Lerner pushes right up to the threshold of being too meta without ever falling over the edge. 10:04 starts then to serve as an insight into the writer's process, with its excerpt that was used in The New Yorker explicitly mentioned as being used in The New Yorker. There are still individual scenes that don't work — I don't think I ever like hallucination sequences — but they don't detract from the overall contemplation of conscious experience — what's authentic, what matters.

Lerner's also just really fun and insightful to read. He describes staring straight ahead past a friend as "a condition of our most intimate exchanges," alcohol as a hedge "so that whatever happens only kind of happened" and how "nothing in the world is as old as what was futuristic in the past." An exegesis of Reagan's Challenger speech speaks to the power of words (and to Lerner, poetry) while a scene in which the protagonist donates sperm would fit neatly in a DFW short story.

Of our time, but maybe it transcends it, too.

1984 by George Orwell (1949)

"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face — forever."

You will gradually notice a theme emerging in my choices this year, and you will connect it quickly to 2016 events. I'd been meaning to read 1984 for years, and by February, I figured there would never be a better time to digest it.

I don't know what exactly I anticipated, but I know I didn't expect it to be quite this good. I suppose my reservations going in revolved around whether Orwell could construct realistic characters in his world, and whether that world was extrapolated properly.

Orwell does both to a remarkable degree. The manner in which 1984 builds its own vocabulary — and explains its principles in a simplistic appendix — is outstanding and terrifying in its external validity. Crimestop and doublethink seem particularly plausible concepts these days (as do its ideas of "rectifying" the past through historical revision and stripping war of its danger by making it neverending).

The entire novel contains this ambience of utter hopelessness, evidenced by the way parents grew scared of their children's potential as informants or how emotions in general became sterilized over time. Winston and Julia's rebellion is a small transgression, because they knew they couldn't beat the entrenched system.

This was depressing, just like the year was. I was kind of scared before reading 1984 and really scared after it.

Death in the Clouds by Agatha Christie (1935)

Man, sometimes after spring training, when you haven't had time to sit down and read something cohesively in a while, you just need a boost. Reading a Christie mystery in an afternoon or two has always done that for me, even if this one isn't as good or as interesting as I remembered from the first time I read it.

The Spanish Civil War by Hugh Thomas (1961)

"At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence."

The reason I hadn't read anything cohesively in a while? Because I was trying to tackle this large history of a time period I knew next to nothing about. (My interest in the Spanish Civil War basically dates back to someone justifiably pointing out my extreme ignorance about it — and its impact on the FC Barcelona-Real Madrid rivalry — in a blog comment some years back.)

My main error, if you want to call it that, in choosing this specific history of the war is that I probably didn't need this much depth to satisfy my curiosity. But that's obviously a strength and not a flaw of the book. Thomas places the events in Spain within the larger context of Europe's imminent disintegration, showing it as the proxy/practice war that it was. He's withering in his criticisms of the other powers and their willful impotence: The non-intervention committee among other nations "was to graduate from equivocation to hypocrisy" while the US practiced a policy of "moral aloofness."

Thomas does his best to keep the dozens of sides involved in the conflict in order; reading this over the course of two and a half months made that very important indeed. He shows how each side was able to drum up such hatred for the other that compromise was rendered impossible — boy do Catholic murderers come off poorly here — and he's able to draw as straight a line as possible through the convoluted causes and effects during the war, explaining how and why Franco was eventually able to emerge as the key and victorious figure.

The Tender Bar by J.R. Moehringer (2005)

Reading Moehringer is always fun, but if I'm being honest, I found it hard to justify spending time reading a memoir about him. The stories are excellent, but I just didn't care enough about him or the bar.

#litreviews #brevityisthesouloflit #cityonfire #s #thetenderbar #deathintheclouds #1984 #thespanishcivilwar #1004 #despair #bynightinchle #thegame

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