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zot3-flopped · 4 months

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The people who see PR in celebs’ love lives got to this point because they hold certain very childish beliefs about relationships and about what pop stars feel about their fans, and also about paparazzi.

So first of all they have an incredibly simplistic view of relationships, which is that a couple should be visibly a couple or else it there is something wrong. Imagine a young teenage girl writing to an agony aunt: ‘My boyfriend won’t hold my hand in public: doesn’t he truly love me?” only there is no agony aunt to tell them to get a grip and that people use different levels of affection at different times - you know, normal stuff that people usually learn really young but these chumps have somehow not. This is where all the ‘he never claims his women’ crap comes from. I suspect they are growing up in really conservative, perhaps very Christian, families where landing a good husband means you have won a prize in life. They need to perform the role of girlfriend as a warning to others to back off, and they need their boyfriends to perform their roles as protection.

Secondly, since they are stunted emotionally, they believe that “the fans” actually have some real measure of control over what pop stars do - in 1D’s case, they fully encouraged this. All the praise of the fans, all the effusive thank yous, all the acknowledgement that the fans know everything - this is what some simple-minded fans cling onto, not the other stuff about boundaries and personal lives etc. It means that they think on some level (of insanity) that the fans and the pop star are working towards the same goal, namely a sort of shared friendship where the fans can advise the star, and he will do what they say. So when the pop star doesn’t share stuff, doesn’t let them IN, they feel a psychological wound, and go on the attack. Sometimes the man gets it; always the woman gets it. (Women are a natural threat: see above.) This is where management fill a role, too: they take the pressure off the need to blame the star himself for rejecting the fans’ clear wishes. Double points if management can be in cahoots with the woman.

Thirdly, they hold intractable beliefs about how the paparazzi industry works, and they cannot be shaken from these. It’s useless to explain that paps have gone on record saying that stars at the very top don’t tend to call them unless they have a very, very specific job that needs doing (I saw a good example of Rihanna announcing her first pregnancy, bump out, head-to-toe Chanel). What paps say is that people calling them for promo are usually at the low end of the fame spectrum, and they have a brand endorsement to do. But because some people call them sometimes, in their simple minds that means all celebs call them always, and every shot that ever appears now is called a pap walk. Half the time they’re just fans with iPhones. It doesn’t help that Backgrid have a couple of times accepted these photos onto their database, from where they’re purchased and published. The ‘low-rent celebs doing a brand endorsement’ might explain why some people are convinced he is actively promoting Lime Bikes. He’s worth £175M but yeah he’s a public bike influencer as well (rolling my eyes).

Here are some truths about Harry: he hates being photographed - according to paparazzi! -so when he looks miserable, it’s not because he’s being forced to be with a particular woman against his will. He doesn’t talk about his relationships and I have absolutely no doubt that every person he’s been with has for a long while been on the same page. He knows how to do PR and he always works hard at promotion so it doesn’t take a genius to work out that if (in an alternate universe, presumably) he ever did do a PR relationship (as if) he would do a good job at it and not scowl at the cameras in sweaty gym gear. He is rarely photographed by fans with Taylor, and currently is rarely photographed by himself as well, so either he’s setting boundaries (good) or he’s not going out as much (not good).

Harry and Taylor being spotted in a bakery or whatever is not going to sell theatre tickets in NY but that’s what those childish nitwits are angling for. It’s pathetic.

It’s cathartic to let all this out but I understand if you prefer not to publish my essay. Thank you.

👏👏👏 So many excellent, perceptive points. You are right about these PR types being childish and inexperienced. There was a poll on @apolladay with about 1k votes and 60% of Tumblr bloggers have never been in a relationship.

Here's a more recent poll with over 1k votes. 54% still live at home with their parents.

https://www.tumblr.com/apolladay/741515281930780672/who-do-you-live-with-alone-with-parent-or?source=share

#harry styles #louis tomlinson #pr harries #pr hags #tayrry #taylor russell #paparazzi

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thelandscapingemployeetrap · 2 years

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Becoming Aligned with Your Higher Calling & Evolving Consciously

Do you feel like you’re unworthy and things won’t work the way you want them to be just because you’re now in your 40s with clear physical signs of aging? I recently turned 39, just a year away from turning 40, and it’s no doubt noticed that my gray hairs keep on popping out these days. And as we age, we tend to think that we’re not really successful just because we’re getting old. Well, let me tell you this – yes, we’re getting old, but that in and of itself is a gift!

Join me today as I tell you why and encourage you to live your golden years in peace, overcoming your past, and helping people do good things!

“You are so much more; you are so infinite. Therefore, a couple of gray hairs on your head shouldn’t have you stumped for too long, because if you’re too stumped and upset about it, then that just means that you’re just resisting evolution. Evolution is evolution. Embrace it. It’s awesome. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

– Keith Kalfas

Why do you have to listen to today's episode.

02:54 – “You can go into depression, but sometimes, unless you have a real serious problem, you don’t have to stay there.”

When bad things happen, we unconsciously stay there, clinging to these old identities, allowing us to not face the next chapter of our life.

05:12 – “Maybe I'm a late bloomer, but it's not easy for a guy in his 20s to perceive himself as a mature, masculine man.”

Gray hairs can also be a wonderful thing, letting people recognize you as an adult and not just some kid. I once had a client who referred to me as a kid, and I almost got mad at him, but then I realized maybe he did because I perceived and carried myself like a kid.

10:08 – “When you become an old man, those are supposed to be your golden years, where you have projects that are passion projects, or maybe you're retired, but you are doing and living life on your terms, and you're healthy, and you're vibrant.”

Your old man years should be your golden years. Live your life in bliss. You wouldn’t want to grow up as a bitter old man. Consciousness is not bound by space and time.

15:57 – “You’re so trapped in the past and why things might not work that you can’t even let go of that bullshit for a second to just wake the fuck up and realize that you are crushing it right now.”

Feeling unworthy is like bad programming; you start thinking, and it flows, and you feel it. Don’t sell out on your life, on your dreams. Come from a space of conscious choice and know that you’re worthy.

19:40 – “When you’re at peace, and you transmit peace, others around you will feel calmer, and their day will be calmer.”

People can’t move towards real wealth because they don’t have themselves figured out. Success in the industry starts from your success from within. Be at peace.

26:53 – “Somebody else’s negative behavior doesn’t have to affect you.”

Just because it feels comfortable doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Sometimes, a season of discomfort might be what’s necessary for you to evolve and move on. You can and you will.

Key Takeaways

“Anything that has to be forced, if you’re trying to force yourself to be perfect, it’s a really, really long, hard, painful road, that it comes with a lot of self-inflicted punishment and unnecessary suffering that you don’t deserve.”

“If you let go and let God, and realize you’re in your late 30s, everything’s gonna be okay, because this is going to be the best chapter of your life now, and it’s gonna get even better. Why would you want to not go into that?”

“The highest level of worthiness you can be is what you give and what you contribute.”

“You have to accept that if you have fingers and toes and breath in your lungs, and you have health, and you can get up, and you can shower and bathe yourself, and have friendships and a marriage and a relationship with yourself, and you can just do all the things without being totally inhibited, you have a form of amazing wealth.”

Connect with Keith

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Resources/People Mentioned:

My Website: Official Site Keith Kalfas

My Podcast Page: The UNTRAPPED Podcast

Jocko Willink: YouTube podcast

Tony Robbins: Website

James Clear’s book: Atomic Habits

Eckhart Tolle: Website

Dr. David R. Hawkin’s book: Power vs Force

Get a Free Trial of JOBBER Software & save 20% off your first 6 months. Grow Your Business With Jobber (getjobber.com)

Want to go to the GIE+EXPO 2022? Go to keithkalfas.com/events and click on the Equip Expo link. Use the promo code “Keith50” to save 50% off your tickets.

{lease leave us a well-written, positive 5-star review if you liked the show. You may click here

Check out this episode!

#Landscaping #windowcleaning

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insomniziam · 3 years

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People who believe in zigi... I wonder if they think of this like. Since Zayn keeps calling out the industry (that it's a cage he's trapped in), fake friends, that he doesn't want to be a part of this, doesn't want to answer to certain questions so he replies to fanart instead, etc. Don't they wonder why he willingly participate in pap walks and all ? Coz given all the things he's said, it'd mean that he only participates coz he has to and not coz he wants to. And then, why would he have to? Coz of contracts duh!

Hey nonnie, thanks for sharing your thoughts with me!

And I very much agree with you! To put it frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't care. Not that I can blame them, because there is actually a lot of digging necessary to actually understand what's going on behind the scenes, and a lot of people don't have the time to worry about such things.

However, some of it is completely blatant, like the fact that G can't answer basic questions about Zayn correctly, like his nationality, or how they first apparently got together, or the fact that they don't even take a baby bag with them when taking G's daughter to the Aquarium 🤦‍♀️. Things I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of them swept under the rug under the guise that they think G and Zayn look good together, and spend way too much time fantasizing over their "relationship", no matter how toxic its portrayal. (Each to their own, I guess).

But Zayn has known how to fly under the radar for years now. He could travel from the US back to his family in Bradford and we wouldn't know until his family post photos with him weeks after the fact. What is their justification for the fact that the minute he's with G he loses all ability to stay incognito? Does that not raise red flags for these people?

In the rap, he also talks about fakery in the industry quite a lot, a line I find particularly interesting is when he says:

Hard living in pretends

Fake friends won't make amends

There's no need

These mean queens control the scenes

He's talking about his struggles with constantly having to pretend to be someone he isn't, mentions fake friendships (could be read as relationships), and then, in a line I find particularly telling, I honestly think he was shading the Hadids. They're the mean queens and they control whatever stunt it is that they deem necessary to execute, like babygates.

This isn't the first time Zayn has mentioned the fakery that clings to the entertainment industry, either. Go back through his music catalogue and you'd see him use the theme of deception over and over again.

The Theme of Fake Love in Zayn Malik's music

(I didn't think this would become a mini analysis of Zayn's music catalogue, but I'm on a roll and I feel like I need to express this because it'd be a good resource for myself in the future)

Mind of Mine

In his first solo album, the song tRuTh he talks about not wanting to be a pawn in the industry's (or management's) game:

This ain't my scene, this wasn't my dream

It was all yours, of course

I got caught up in this game

And you know I won't say names of who's to blame

His dream was to create music. but the industry has distorted that dream for their own gain, and he learned that too late. As we know, he was very young when he was first introduced to the industry, would have been distracted by all the glitz and glam that comes along with being a famous musician, that he didn't realise that his management had so much control over him and his image, and he was contractually obligated to follow their rules, i.e. getting caught up in their game.

He also talks about fake love in the single SHE DON'T LOVE ME

I think I know she don't love me

That's why I fuck around

I think I know she don't love me

That's why I fuck around

Now in the context of the song, he's very clearly talking about a lover who had no interest in him, and was cheating on him, and so he would do the same to her. However, based on the fact that he would have written this around the time he was still publicly dating a member of Little Mix, and there were constant rumours about him cheating on her, I wouldn't be surprised if this was his way of getting back at her for helping in fuelling those rumours, and turning the tables back on her.

And the obvious one, his collaboration with Khelani, wRoNg:

You're looking in the wrong place for my love

Don't think because you're with me this is real

You're looking in the wrong place for my love (my love)

Don't stop what you're doing 'cause I like that too

Very obviously following with the theme of fake love, he literally states that it's not real.

Icarus Falls

If there were ever a song wrote with G in mind, it's Entertainer:

Guess you didn't know that

You were my favorite entertainer

I watch you, I laugh with and fuck with you

Don't you take me for a fool

In this game, I own the rules

You were my favorite entertainer

I watch you, I laugh and we fake it too

Don't you take me for a fool

I'ma show you a thing or two

It's very sarcastic, and that's why I love it so much. I also think it's important to note that he mentions the game again, except this time, he's the one in control of it. He knows how the game works, and knows how to use it to his advantage, mostly through his music, and I don't think it was an accident that they used someone who vaguely looks like G to play the female lead in the music video.

Know it's harder to take

And let's face it

No one's playing your games, let's face it

I'm bein' straight up

I know a fake love when I see it anyway

I'ma turn you down when you need me anyway, anyway, anyway

Again the obvious mention of fake love, but I also think it's hilarious that he mentions the fact that he's going to turn her down, because he's done that very thing multiple times. The instances that come to mind was that one time G was left outside his apartment building because he refused to let her in:

And then the very distinctive answer be gives to a pap asking him to comment about whether or not they're getting back together:

Nobody Is Listening

You'd think the title itself would be a dead giveaway to these people, but alas, that doesn't seem to be the case.

Our first introduction to Zayn's rapping talent comes to us in the form of the first song off his third album, Calamity:

Fuck all of your fantasies

You're a snake, fell off the ladder

I prefer speakin' in analogies

I've had enough of all this wet

And I can't trust that you're my family

I don't know what's next

The brain dead, that I never miss

Again, he's referencing the use of games (snakes and ladders)but she's the one that will lose, and use the analogy to call G a snake. According to the urban dictionary, a snake is someone who is two-faced, meaning they act one way in front of one group of people and then completely different to another (her followers as opposed to who she is behind closed doors, for example).

My question for die-hard zigis is simple; if he's not referencing G, then who is he referencing? His constant reference of fake love, and fakeness in the industry, who is he talking about, if not his highly publicised 'relationship' with G?

I know that this isn't necessarily what you asked for nonnie, and I apologise for that, but hopefully you appreciate it anyway 😅

Have a good day!

#I apologise for how long this took me #but I had to source the video which took a couple days #@ other anon here's that analysis you asked for #just a very quick version #😅😅😅#hopefully people appreciate it though!#answered asks #anonymous #yellow metal cathartic #zigi is fake #babygate 3.0 #free zayn #lyric analysis #mind of mine #icarus falls #Nobody Is Listening #music

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cellard0ors · 3 years

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Fic: Movement (2/?)

Still dedicated to the wonderful @peachworthy. you read part one than you know - GMM Rhink AU - College Student Link/Pornstar Rhett AU

“Got it right again, man! You’re going to ace this test!” Rhett crows as he tosses down another notecard and Link pumps his arms in triumph. The two of them are settled in the kitchen, piles of books and notecards spread around as well as few bottles of beers and some bowls of chips.

Link picks up one chip and pops it into his mouth, grinning at his roommate fondly, “Well, couldn’t’ve done it without you, pal. You are, without a doubt, the best study buddy I’ve ever had.”

“Aw shucks, gonna make me blush,” Rhett laughs even though it’s Link who feels his cheeks actually grow warm, his friend’s laughter a common cause of the occurrence.

They’ve been living together for over a month now and it’s been beyond amazing. Link would’ve never guessed a guy like Rhett and a guy like him would work so well together.

It’s like they’re the world’s weirdest, most convoluted puzzle yet all the pieces click together to form a full picture that is nothing short of a masterpiece. True, there’s a lot about Rhett Link doesn’t know yet (and gosh is there a lot he wants to know) but their friendship is running smoothly.

Well, smoothly save for the massive crush Link has on the guy, albeit he’s doing his damned best to squash it. Yes, Rhett’s attractive and yes, he’s the first guy Link’s ever met that he’s felt a real zing for, but the fact of the matter is – Link would much rather have him as a friend and roommate than lose him as a…well, Link’s not sure if he’d lose him, but the mere possibility keeps Link’s lips sealed.

Besides, it’s okay to crush on someone and never act on it. People do it all the time. Not to mention that it’s a bit…odd to crush on someone in Rhett’s line of work. Isn’t it?

Link can’t think of too many people who will admit to crushing on an adult film star. Regular, mainstream film stars, sure – but adult film stars?

Yeah…

Although, to be frank, Link’s sure there are some that do. And, hopefully, some of them are not the creepy internet troll-y kind of people, but genuine salt of the earth folks like himself. Because, okay, he is crushing on one so…

Rhett is toying with the cards, maybe looking for the next question to quiz Link on when he asks idly, “Y’know, Link – I gotta say, I admire your stamina.”

That remarks makes Link choke on the drink he’s just been consuming, a cough clearing it up some as he croaks, “I’m-I’m sorry?”

Rhett hums noncommittally, as if not noticing the gaffe, “You’ve had yet to grill me about my job. Normally, once folks hear about it, that’s all they want to talk about.”

“Oh,” Link breathes out loosely, “Well, ah-? It-? It just…seemed rude to-to ask…”

“Been over a month living with me now. You telling me you ain’t interested?”

“I didn’t say that!” Link quips back much quicker than he would like, but Rhett just gives him the most perfect smile. All sincere and warm beneath his beard and remember, Link, you’re doing you’re best not to crush on him!

Rhett is still toying with the cards, eyelashes downcast, the very visual definition of shy as he murmurs, “Just sayin’…I don’t mind if you wanna ask some stuff.”

Link’s eyebrows rise in such a way as to damn near bump his glasses off, “Y-You sure?”

Rhett draws in a deep inhale and then sits the cards down. He crosses his arms and leans back in his seat, looking quite serious even despite the casual red flannel and jeans, as if this was more of an interview (or perhaps an interrogation?) than anything else, “Shoot.”

The a million and one questions that Link has kept at bay about Rhett’s job and more personal life threaten to cave his skull in as they crash about in his mind. However, he has to go with the obvious, “Know this’ll be predictable, but…why?”

Rhett just bobs his head in an understanding nod even as Link pushes on, “Why and how?”

Rhett sucks on his teeth before picking up his own beer and taking a fortifying sip before continuing, “The two are kinda interconnected to be honest. Had a fallin’ out with my family. Think I mentioned it in passin’ to you once. But, to clarify; they weren’t too happy with my chosen living destination nor with the fact that I’d come to terms with the notion that I’m attracted to both the ladies and the gents.”

Link’s mind immediately (and joyously) clings to ‘the gents’ remark, bookmarking it for future reference, even as Rhett continues his tale, “You grew up where we did. So you get it.”

Link does. And then, to nail the point home, Rhett adds, “Probably get it a lot more than others. If my…instincts are to be believed.”

Shit.

SHIT.

Link’s whole body immediately bursts into flame, the tips of his ears so hot he’s sure they’re glowing bright red.

Rhett knows I’m gay. He knows. I thought having a radar for that kind of thing was bullhonkey, but he knows and oh, lord, oh lord – do I give off some sorta vibe? I know that girl in my screenwriting class, Stevie, she teased me about being an A-Level twink or something, but I didn’t think-!

Rhett’s laughter carves right through Link’s insecurities, “Take a breath, brother! Look like you’re about to pop!”

Link does and Rhett just shakes his head, still grinning, “Point being – I was pretty much a babe in the woods when I came to LA. Not two nickels to my name, so I took whatever gigs I could get. Managed to snag a few commercials and things of that nature, but you know the drill. Jobs are hard to come by. And a guy of my height?”

He blows out a big breath and tosses all of those luxurious curls about with a rueful head shake, “Yeah, most people fingered me for a baller, so – again – jobs were hard to come by. But then, wouldn’t you know it? A friend of a friend of a contact told me about this part they thought I’d be perfect for.”

Another deep barrel chested chuckle emerges as he reminiscences, “Mighta been nice of ‘em to let me know it was actually a part of me they thought would be perfect.”

Do not zero in on his crotch! Do NOT zero in on his crotch! Charles Lincoln Neal the Third DO NOT-!

Link keeps his eyes so steadfastly forward he probably looks like some bug eyed zombie. If Rhett notices, he doesn't comment, “Anyway, when I found out what the role was, I had planned to politely decline but, y’know, the money they offered…”

There’s an easy shrug and this Link can look at. He looks at Rhett, who looks a bit sheepish as he scratches at one side of his beard, “I mean, again, you grew up where I did. So, you know how the whole ‘wait until marriage’ thing was drilled into your head, but I figured it wasn’t like anybody would know. My family’d cut me off, my friends were few and far in between, and the people on set…”

Now he looks a bit happier and Link can’t help but smile along with him, “The people on set were all right. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the kind of stories people tend to spin – the exploitation, the drug abuse, other questionable stuff…place I was at wasn’t like that. I mean, maybe I just lucked out or something, but it was…”

Another shrug and he goes for his beer again. Link figures this is as good a time as any to get in another question, “So, you did that and then you…? Just kept going?”

Rhett nods as he drinks, the bottle leaving his mouth with an obscene pop that Link is going to do his best to forget all about right now and certainly not recall at any point in the future (and most certainly NOT when he’s jacking off later), “Yeah, I did the one and the director really liked me. He pull me aside and told me about this company he was trying to set up with a couple of buddies of his. They wanted to go in a classier direction – know how funny that sounds, but he was serious.”

“So, what? No, like, blockbuster porno knock offs? Like ‘Sex in The City and ON the City’ or ‘Arma-get-it-on’?”

“Think you stole that last one from an episode of CSI.”

“I did, doesn’t change the question.”

They’re both smiling like a couple of fools, but the mood is good and the atmosphere light as Rhett sighs, “Yeah, nothing like that. I’ve actually worked with a few female directors, shot some things with great budgets, nice lighting, good costumes…”

“Oooo, costumes,” Link teases in the silliest voice and Rhett swats out at him. Link avoids the hit even as Rhett rolls his eyes, “I’m serious, dude. Some of the things that department pumps out looks better than anything you’d see in Hollywood.”

“Hmm, some kinda wood,” Link snickers and this time Rhett’s swat makes impact, brushing Link’s shoulder and Link would be embarrassed by the giggle he lets out, if it weren’t for the way Rhett’s nose is all scrunched up, making him look beyond adorable, “You’re sucha brat!”

Link sticks out his tongue and Rhett just laughs. They turn their attention to the drinks and chips for awhile before Link circles around to another question, “You like it then?”

“It’s a living,” Rhett confirms, not really answering one way or another, “Like I said – make great money, work with some really nice people.”

“Uh,” Link scratches behind one ear, “Hate to ask, but, um…clean people?”

Rhett doesn’t seem offended, “You bet. Have to be. Another reason I’ve done this as long as I have. Money's great, but the safety is even better. I’m currently under contract with that same company I told you about – the one that director brought me under. On top of wanting to,” he air quotes his next words, “be classier’-”

He drops the quotes, “They wanted to provide an excellent work environment. Heck, me and the other actors and actresses probably have a cleaner bill of health than the entire state. Can’t shoot scene one until you’ve got the A-Okay.”

“Huh,” Link absorbs that with some surprise, but then, he supposes it really shouldn’t be. The adult film industry is a big lumbering beast right alongside it’s more recognized counterpart. No reason one shouldn’t be as cautious as the other. If anything, one has more right to be cautious.

Thinking on this, Link suddenly feels an odd pang. It’s a shame in one way that’s one viewed as more reckless than the other, more questionable. But, when viewed through a mostly puritan lens…

Not wanting to get too philosophical, Link switches gears, “You been in a lot of films?”

“My fair share.”

Another dodge, but Link will let him have it. However, he can practically feel devil horns rise as he asks with a naughty gleam to his eye, “Win any awards?”

Rhett’s practically preening, “Several.”

“Really?” Link asks with some surprise, but Rhett suddenly looks quite naughty himself. Naughty and…a bit too hot for Link’s liking as the heat that always seems to surround him when he’s near Rhett rises and woo boy, he’s really failing at this squashing-the-crush thing.

“If you’re a good boy, maybe I’ll show you one of my trophies some time…”

Everything in Link melts into a puddle and he’s not sure what expression he’s wearing, but it’s one that makes Rhett’s whole face light up, “…or maybe, just maybe, I’ll show you a little somethin’ else…”

If it’s possible for a melted puddle to also explode, then Link’s just done it. Rhett bursts into guffaws as he reaches forward and, very smoothly, pushes Link’s jaw up because Link’s jaw? It dropped. He didn’t even feel it drop.

And then, to just add more fuel to the fire, Rhett rubs the pad of his thumb along the bottom of Link’s chin, right below his lip, “Damn, son…you’re just too much for words.”

“I…”

That’s it.

That’s all that Link can offer.

Just one sound, one vowel.

Silent and stunned and Rhett draws back, looking like the cat that ate the canary as he lets him go and rises up from his seat, “Think you need a moment. I’ll be back in a bit.”

And – just like that – Rhett saunters out of the room.

#rhink #randl #my writing #peachworthy #oh my sweet peach

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ootori-sibs · 3 years

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Shadow boy

Day six of @ohshc-week : childhood friends/lovers or first/last kiss

Mrs Ootori was known for her love of fashion, every time there was an event, she wore a new, custom made dress. It just so happened that there was a huge event soon, with people all over the world, the who's who of the global medical industry- and top scientists too. Her only duty was to hang off of her husband's arm and look pretty, but she always made it her mission to show him up. Because of this, she'd enlisted the help of Yuzuha Hitachiin to make her a stunning new gown.

Yuzuha knew her well, having made previous gowns for her- they weren't friends persay, Mrs Ootori was too stuck up for that, but Yuzuha liked to bring her son's with her whenever she came. Mrs Ootori had many sons, one of which was only a year older than her boys.

The twin sought out the shadow boy out, they did this every time, they wanted to know more about him- he was a mystery. Today they'd found their way into the library, not being able to read yet, they ignored the books in exchange for searching for their favourite mystery. They found him in the fiction section, fitting for such a mystery.

The shadow boy never liked the light much, he preferred the darkness and shade. His hair was as dark as the woman their mother helped, but his eyes weren't brown like hers, they were a shimmering silver- the twins had almost thought he was monochrome when they first found him. The boy smiled when he noticed them, standing and approaching them, stopping on the border of the shadows.

The twins smiled back, they were holding hands, but let go to run forward towards their friend, "shadow boy! Hello!" He'd never told them his name, he'd never actually spoken to him either, he was silent in his friendship. He didn't let them touch him either, so they gave him an air-hug.

He showed them a ladder, and led them up on top of the bookshelves, it was dark up here, and the twins and their shadow friend had to crawl, he wanted to show them something- he always wanted to show them something.

He led the twins through a vent, it was a large one, big enough for all of them… they were only three, and their shadow friend was four… it didn't take that big of a vent to hold them all. When they got out of the vent, they were in an office, make-up on one side table, paperwork on another. The desk was a vanity, the computer was new and shiny.

The twins looked around, their eyes already adjusted to the darkness, but Kaoru had brought a torch, making sure to avoid getting the shadow boy with it. They couldn't read, but by the images and make-up, the twins understood that this was Mrs Ootori's office. They wondered why the shadow boy would bring them here, what purpose did they have here?

But the shadow boy grabbed a stool, dragging it over to a wall, reaching up and going to grab a book. He brought it down to show them, placing it on the floor. Kaoru carefully trained his torch on it, it was a book; a big, leather bound, storybook. Hikaru was the one who opened the book, "woah… this is awesome!"

Kaoru nodded, noticing how the shadow boy smiled, "yeah! Amazing! Do you want us to read the voices? Our maids do that for us." The boy's eyes lit up, and the twins both saw his hands ball up happily, he nodded at them, almost silently gasping- the loudest sound they'd heard from him.

The twins once again, couldn't read- it seemed the shadow boy hadn't realised yet. His surprised expression when the twins made up their own dialogue based on the images, making it much funnier then the stories actually were- at least in their opinion; they'd given the villain a horrible voice, made the princess sound like an old man, and their worst offence of all; they gave the prince charming the squeakiest voice they could muster.

This upset the shadow boy.

He'd stood up, turning and hammering on the door until a maid unlocked it for him, the maid asked him how he got in there, since the door was locked. This surprised the twins- other people could see their shadow friend? This was news to them, they didn't think he could be seen. But he didn't seem to see her, running past, completely ignoring the light he was so usually avoidant of.

The twins gave chase, they'd never see their shadow friend so upset- they've seen him cry, sure, but never run straight into the light, he hated the light. So they ran, calling out for their shadow friend to stop, trying to ask what's wrong. After a few seconds, and corridors, later, the twins realise that their friend is headed towards the room where their mother and Mrs Ootori were- and Mrs Ootori was famed for her temper, so they were scared what would happen.

He burst into the room, clearly more terrified than sad by how bright the room was, running to the side of Mrs Ootori and clinging to her, sobbing into her gown. The twins entered soon after, pausing at this sight. All eyes were now on them; their mother looked alarmed, and Mrs Ootori looked furious. "What did you do to my baby?"

She had asked them a simple question, commanding and demeaning- but the twins weren't listening, they didn't care about her dumb status. "That's not your baby, that's our shadow friend!" They huffed in unison, Hikaru hopping up to turn the light off as Kaoru switched the torch on.

Both adults were surprised by both the words and the actions of the twins, Mrs Ootori was even more angered by this. She stomped forward, knocking the shadow boy to the floor- who quickly got up and hid under a table, hands over his head. Mrs Ootori, she must have been around six foot, she towered over the boys, glaring, "how dare you! My son is no one's shadow!" The twins were shaking now, having never been yelled at like this by an adult before, the woman continued; "have you been bullying him?? Why is he crying?"

"Leave my sons alone!" Their mother snapped at her, "they haven't done anything to deserve getting screamed at, they're kids for heaven's sake!" The twins mother was an angel, she stood up to the demon woman, standing and glaring.

The demon scoffed, "oh no wonder they're such brats if you never yell at them! I yell at my sons all the time and they all turn out perfectly." The twins both bristle at the idea of this monster yelling at their poor sweet shadow friend, this demon was terrifying.

They'd blocked that day out of their memory.

Losing their first friend, being yelled at for the first time, their mother had gotten so frustrated she'd punched her mannequin… they didn't want to remember it; so they didn't.

Years later, they had friends, real friends- nothing like the ghost of that old mansion. They had Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai, who sat in the corner making tea and coffee. They had Haruhi, who was watching everything with a tired but lovable expression. They had Tamaki… who was being an idiot, he was floundering around, crying about something or other Haruhi had said.

"My darling daughter hates me! Oh woe is I!"

The twins snickered at that, rolling their eyes. Tamaki must have noticed that, because he gasped, looking at them, "how dare you mock my misery! What's so funny about a daughter hating her father?"

Hikaru raised an eyebrow at that, "oh come on boss…" he and Kaoru shared a glance, before looking back at Tamaki, putting on the fake whining voice used to mock stupid people; "ooh~ my darling daughter hates me! Oh woe- oh woe is I~!"

There was a scoff from behind them, from a table not far back, Kyoya was rolling his eyes, "what is it with you two and giving princes squeaky voices?" He had chuckled to himself, but the question had made the twins freeze… Kyoya was right, they did use that voice for all princes, and had since they were little. But there was no way for Kyoya to know that, only the twins' family had heard them read stories, family and- oh. Oh.

"Wh!" The twins span around at lightning speed, looking at Kyoya with wide eyes, "You were the shadow boy??"

This got the other hosts' attention fast, though Kyoya just raised an eyebrow, "you weren't aware? I did wonder why you started out just as distant to me as you were with Tamaki," he chuckled lightly, actually smiling slightly, "I know you were four but please; a year older than you, we were always at my house, your mother did the gowns for mine- what other conclusion could you have come to?"

The twins… felt a little stupid at that, but Hikaru admitted to their belief, "we honestly thought you were a ghost, hence the whole 'shadow boy' thing…"

"A ghost?" Kyoya seemed to find the whole thing amusing, and the twins noticed how the light reflected off of his her black hair, how the light made his eyes shine behind his glasses… why had he used to hate it so? "I suppose your little nickname fits now, what with people referring to me as the 'shadow king', seems I've gotten a promotion." He had paused, and the twins glanced around to see the confusion in the other hosts' faces, but they didn't matter right now, not in the face of their shadow friend. "Why did you believe me to be a spirit?"

"Oh that's easy!" Kaoru smiled, beginning to list of all the reason their shadow friend was different; "you always hid in dark spaces, never came out to play anywhere bright, we never saw you anywhere but the mansion, you were never there when we arrived, we always had to go searching for you, you always had something to show us, it was always a secret- plus you never once spoke to us dude, you didn't ever even introduce yourself the entire time."

Hikaru spoke up at that, looking thoughtful, "why did you never speak the whole time we knew you?"

Kyoya paused at that, "oh, well some people have- ...things, that they can't do properly, and sometimes those things are amplified by situations, but like a lot of things, they can be learnt from, and moved past," he stopped for a moment, before nodding to himself, "yes, I had quite a bit of trouble with speaking when I was younger, it's nothing to be ashamed of personally, but some people are ashamed of me nonetheless." Was that a joke..? That was a really sad joke, the twins didn't quite know how to take it.

They didn't have to respond though, as Honey hopped over towards them, "wow Kyo-chan! Do you have the same fear as Nekozawa-chan?"

Kyoya shook his head, "well I did when I was five, I grew out of it by the time I was around six or seven, I couldn't have been able to do all too well in school otherwise." He shrugs, going back to his book, "either way, you never answered my question about the voices, why do you insist on such dreadful voices for prince characters?"

The twins had to shrug at that, smiling, "we just think it's funny."

"Well I still don't, it's rather immature. But at least it isn't in a moment of vulnerability this time," and with that, the conversation was over, Kyoya clearly wasn't going to respond to further questioning, so everyone went back to how they were before.

But not Kaoru, Kaoru got closer to Kyoya's table, hands resting on it in fact, "out of curiosity, do you still have that book?"

Kyoya just nodded, "I've had it since I was a baby, it'd be a shame to throw it out now."

Kaoru nodded slowly, a mischievous smirk growing on his face, "and how would you feel if I read you the stories again, using proper voices this time?" He watched Kyoya pause, glancing up at him but clearly not wanting Kaoru to know he's looking, so Kaoru does something even more daring; he winks.

Kyoya chuckles lightly at that, "as long as we can have the lights off."

It was a funny feeling; Kyoya having been his first friend. The idea that this money grubbing mastermind was once his sweet shadow friend, the silent, always watching shadow king- he was once actually silent. He remembers first joining the club, looking at Kyoya and wondering why Tamaki hung out with such an asshole, before realising he and Hikaru were also assholes and that this must be, like, Tamaki's hobby or something. But about a month in Kaoru was wondering why Kyoya hung out with Tamaki, Kyoya was of a much higher calibre- and he knew it. Though it was clear he considered Tamaki to be superior, even though Tamaki's only real power was as club president- and family-wise too Kaoru supposed.

They were sitting in the dark now, Kaoru had a torch- it wasn't the same torch, that old thing was long gone- but it felt the same… yet somehow completely different. They were older now, they knew who they were a little more, Kyoya could speak now- he could audibly react to the things Kaoru was saying, he could laugh… Kaoru loved that laugh, he'd only ever heard Kyoya chuckle before, his laugh was wonderful; it was a full on villain laugh, but not a cackle, not anything malicious, just a genuine powerful laugh, the kind you'd see of a kid villain- but not the bratty kind. It was also different because Kaoru was here of his own accord, every time he'd visited the Ootori mansion before he'd been dragged there by someone else, this time he was he because he'd decided to be- and he was here without Hikaru.

Kaoru had just finished reading the third story in the book; Cinderella- but at some point, Kyoya had taken a pen, and changed all of Cinderella's pronouns to his own- he'd done that for every character that was his favourite in each story. The ending was always different if he wasn't the princess, his favourite always got a prince of their own- even when it wasn't the main prince. Kaoru found it amusing, if a little concerned, was it reflected of the chances he had with Kyoya? After all; they already had a prince character, and Kaoru wasn't charming at all.

He glanced to his side, Kyoya was completely relaxed, somehow having slid under the covers of the bed without Kaoru having noticed, he truly was a shadow wasn't he? "You're going to get cold like that, you should copy me." Oh, he wanted Kaoru to get into bed with him? Well Kaoru was never one to turn down an offer like that, especially if it was completely innocent- he loved a good cuddle.

Surprisingly enough, Kyoya had actually leaned into him halfway through the princess and the frog, mouthing the words along as Kaoru had said them, how sweet… But when Kaoru got to a line that read: 'but I'm only a small frog, who would ever kiss me?', he heard Kyoya mutter words verbally- but a little different to how it was written…

"...but I'm only a shadow, who would ever kiss me..?"

Kaoru paused, knowing he wasn't meant to hear that, but maybe he was meant to hear it… it sounded like fate. He did it without thinking; he tilted Kyoya's head up and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips, before muttering back, "you'll find your prince someday…"

He knew there was no chance of getting with Kyoya, it was safe to assume the shadow had his eyes on a prince already- Kaoru was nowhere near being a prince. But just one kiss, a stolen one at that- if that was all he got, he was happy with that, he didn't need anything special-

"...I don't think I even want a prince anymore…" Kyoya hadn't moved even an inch from the position Kaoru had put him in, but the moment Kaoru looked down at him, Kyoya got up onto his knees. He looked at Kaoru with something Kaoru had only ever seen in girls before, just before their hearts were shattered… "I want to be a shadow boy forever."

Oh. It was Kaoru's heart that felt something painful, but it was a good pain- like his heart had taken a sharp gasp of its own accord. He smiled softly, putting the book down- but not closing it, and turning his torch off, it was pitch black now. "You… are so much more than a shadow boy now, Kyoya- you're a shadow king, it's not some dumb title. It's your truth… and I love the truth."

It wasn't a love confession, Kaoru couldn't do those, and neither could Kyoya- they were simply both too closed off and quiet to express themselves without the aid of their respective extroverts assistance, though Kaoru realised Hikaru was definitely more of an ambivert at this point. It might not have been a confession of love, but it was a confession of something alright, and they kissed, more than just a quick stolen one- this kiss was real, this kiss was warm, and it tasted of coffee…

They broke the kiss after a while, sitting in pitch black as they sat in silence. Neither of them wanted to speak, so they didn't. Kaoru wanted to know the time, but he didn't want to check his phone, so he sat there, wondering. It was clearly dark, from the little he could see of the outside, from the windows downstairs, so he could be forgiven if he fell asleep here…

The book had been moved, and so had the torch, Kaoru hadn't even noticed. He now glanced down at Kyoya who was laying down, looking up at him, and the little light present reflected in his eyes- though Kaoru couldn't see much else of him at all. Instead of seeing, Kaoru felt, realising how Kyoya was allowing him to touch now, the shadow boy would have always been too scared to even high five, Kyoya let Kaoru rest a hand on his hip as he lay down- Kyoya had let Kaoru kiss him. Soon, they were laying down next to each other; facing each other, Kaoru noticed how Kyoya shuffled closer, bowing his head slightly but leaving it to Kaoru to close the gap, to cuddle him.

Kaoru was the smaller of the two, but Kyoya was the one resting his head near Kaoru's chest, though the shadow boy had always been soft- Kaoru couldn't blame him, or complain in the slightest. It was strange to be sleeping next to someone other than Hikaru, but it was nice- completely different though: with Hikaru they'd squabble over who had the most cover, over who got to sleep what side, they rarely cuddled- contrary to popular belief, plus they only really held hands when they could do it comfortably. But with Kyoya, Kaoru found himself making sure Kyoya had enough blanket, he found himself almost cradling the taller boy as if was prone to shatter at any moment, he even found himself humming one of the many disney songs he'd learnt the tube to through osmosis, he was fairly sure this was a love song- either way it was relaxing and sweet.

He remembered being shown this room, though there was a fortress here then, made of cardboard and plastic and paint, a safe haven that the shadow boy had loved to show to the twins, though he'd gotten visibly upset when Hikaru had tried to climb over the walls instead of using the door. Kaoru remembered this fondly, glancing down to realise that said shadow boy had fallen asleep in his arms. Kaoru then allowed himself to stop humming, yawning and nuzzling Kyoya's hair before settling his head down on the pillow, quickly drifting off to a funny thought that made him feel fuzzy inside:

It was a funny feeling; Kyoya having been his first friend and his first kiss.

#kyoya ootori #ouran high school host club #ohshcweek #hikaru and kaoru #hikaru hitachiin #kaoru hitachiin #kyokao

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argylemnwrites · 4 years

Text

Romantic Dreams Must Die

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (Book 1, chapter 18)

Word Count: ~2100

Rating: PG-13 (language)

Summary: “So close to reaching that famous happy end. Almost believing this one’s not pretend.” ~So Close; written by Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz

Author’s Note: Written for the @choicesmonthlychallenge for August 5 - let go. Set during the dance between MC and either Hana, Maxwell, or Drake at the Coronation Ball. Inspired by the song “So Close” performed by Jon McLaughlin in the movie “Enchanted.”

Drake didn’t dance. Not since Savannah’s first few balls at least, when she’d begged him to not let her look like a loser by not having a partner. Back then, he’d grudgingly stumbled through a couple of dances with her leading him around, sure of all the steps while he tried not to let her down by tripping over his own feet. He hadn’t danced in over a decade, since they were both teenagers.

Hell, it had been years since anyone had really tried to get him to dance. Every so often, a crown chaser would approach him at the bar and fish for an invite, but most of them had done their research by this point and focused on trying to chat him up over a drink. It had certainly been a long time since Liam had attempted introducing him to daughters of diplomats or industry leaders at a ball or gala, and even Maxwell had stopped trying to force him onto the dance floor a few years back.

But here he was, dancing with Riley Liu. He’d dressed up in a frickin suit for her already tonight, so really this was just the next natural step in his journey into self-delusion. It was still unnerving. She shouldn’t have this sort of effect on him. For many reasons. Yet here he was, shuffling along as he tried not to make an even bigger fool of himself. He just couldn’t say no to her.

The trouble was, he realized, that she made it too easy to forget why she was here. When she sat on the floor, legs twisted like a pretzel in a pair of skin-tight jeans, an eyebrow raised in a silent challenge as he attempted to figure out whether to match her ante or fold during a late-night poker game, she didn’t seem like a future queen. When she swiped his flask and took a swig, giving him a middle finger as he protested, she also seemed like a total outsider at court. And now, with her body pressed gently against his, the scent of her peach perfume or lotion or whatever she used all he could smell, she didn’t seem like she was in love with Liam.

If only he could stay in a little bubble with just her, no one else, he could almost imagine a life with her. Where she was his, where he was… happy. But that wasn’t how the world worked. There was Liam and other nobles and a kingdom. And then there was him. And unlike him, she could fit in with all those other people. She had very nearly found a steady place among them already, and when Liam proposed to her tonight, her acceptance would be complete. No matter how much she insisted that wasn’t the case.

Her words were going to haunt him for the coming weeks. I promise, I’m still the same Riley. She made it so easy to believe that it was true. That she would still be a vision of snark and sarcasm who gave zero fucks. Hell, she probably thought that was the case. But Drake knew this place well enough to realize that he would have to be a damn fool to believe that was possible. Because when Liam got down on one knee, she was going to say yes. It would be nothing short of a foolish fantasy to imagine any other response.

Within months, she would be Queen of Cordonia. The wife of his best friend, living a fairy tale come to life. And he wasn’t going to have any part in it. Not in any way that mattered. Sure, he’d see her around. But she wasn’t going to find him in the lounge for drinks and poker. She wasn’t going to hold his hand as he told her about how much he missed Savannah. She certainly wasn’t going to hold him or kiss him again. And it was selfish for him to want to cling to those moments in between when she would be getting so much more. When he knew Liam and her could have a lifetime of happiness together.

Tonight was the end of any semblance of closeness between them, all of which was likely just a side effect of her initial confusion and irritation with the other members of court and her need to talk to the only other person around who understood her anger and frustration anyway. But he worried it would be the end of so many other things - her humor, her temper, her aggressively competitive spirit. Slowly but surely, all those things, everything that made her so fucking fantastic, would get shoved away, able to be a part of her less and less often. Diplomacy and negotiations, not sarcasm and fire, would be all she was allowed. And it would change her, maybe slowly at first. But years from now, she would look back and wonder how she had ever dropped an f-bomb in public, marvel at the fact that she ever told Olivia to shut her damn mouth.

It was just the way things would be, the inevitable future. And he needed to remember that. Not get swept up in this moment, not let himself believe things could ever work out. But he wasn’t ready to let go of Riley. This Riley, the way she was right now. So he held her as he tried to keep up with the steps of the waltz. Just for a moment letting himself feel like maybe, just maybe, this time, it would be different.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drake didn’t dance. She’d learned this fact very early on. At first, she thought he was just being a fucking dick when he refused to teach her the Cordonian Waltz, but it became rapidly clear that Drake, in all his years hanging around the palace, had never picked up any ballroom dancing. And as the months ticked by, as she actually got to know him, befriended him, and felt drawn to him over and over again, she wondered how she had ever suspected that Drake would have been able to teach her any formal dancing. He wore denim to formal galas and events, for fuck’s sake. He might as well have tattooed “I hate all this shit” across his forehead - the message would have been the same.

But tonight… tonight he wore a suit. She didn’t know what it meant. He’d made it sound like Liam had basically demanded his presence, so she wasn’t sure why he’d bothered to dress up when he clearly didn’t actually want to be here. It was throwing her and everything she thought she knew. The fact that he looked damn handsome in his suit wasn’t helping matters either.

She knew her feelings for Drake were a problem. She finally had a chance at happiness with a prince who seemed straight out of a fairy tale, and she had to go and complicate everything by liking his best friend way too much, and in ways she definitely shouldn’t. The first time in years she’d let herself embrace anything more than something physical with a guy, and she found herself in some mad love triangle between best friends.

Except for it wasn’t a love triangle. It was one guy who was the clear and obvious choice and one who had heartbreak and emotional unavailability written all over him. Being with Liam should make everyone happy, including her with her cargo load of baggage and abandonment issues. Being with Drake would probably cost her Maxwell’s friendship, Liam’s kindness, and her own sanity as Drake undoubtedly continued to run hot and cold with her. This shouldn’t even be a fucking choice.

This had to be her mantra. She needed to repeat it over and over to herself, somehow make herself believe it. She’d thought she was almost there, almost on board with a future with Liam, but then Drake wore a suit and told her he liked her just as she always had been. And it was making her question her decision all over again.

It felt like something out of a fairy tale or rom com, that one person who saw you exactly as you were, saw all your flaws, and who didn’t want to change a damn thing. And when he’d been trying to tell her something, she felt her hopes soaring all over again. When Hana and Maxwell had joined them, and the fragile moment crumbled to pieces in front of her, she was yanked back to reality yet again. But something about tonight felt different, something about Drake felt different tonight. Wanting to chase it, bring back that feeling of potential, that maybe all those nights filled with jokes and cards and whiskey actually had been building to something, she’d done the first thing she could think of to get him to herself again - she asked him to dance.

To her surprise, he’d taken her offered hand right away and only put up a token resistance before letting her tug him onto the dance floor without any grumbling or complaining. It was enough to send her heart soaring to foolish places. Sure, he was unsure and uncomfortable waltzing, but dancing with him at least felt natural. With everyone else, she always had to pretend to be more polite, more poised, more controlled. She would take her toes getting stepped on over having to put on her customer service personality every single time.

Sometimes, it felt like if she could get Drake alone, really and truly alone, without reminders of the court and the palace and Liam around every corner, that maybe things would be different. Maybe he wouldn’t shove her away anytime they got closer. It could be sarcasm and comfort and flirting all the time. But there was no way to erase everything, to feel like it was just the two of them with no one else that mattered.

Hell, he’d just reminded her tonight that fairy tales were best left for children. She knew she was being stupid here, setting herself up for devastation. She should be putting some distance between them and focusing on building a deeper connection with Liam. Indulging in fantasies when it came to Drake was only going to make it harder for her to feel something more than a crush with Liam.

She knew she needed to give that relationship a real chance, but it was hard to let go. How was she supposed to give up the one person here who she didn’t ever have to pretend around? How was it fair that when she finally found someone who could swap stories about neglectful mothers, it was with a guy she was attracted to that she shouldn’t be? It almost felt like a giant middle finger from the universe, to tease her with something that felt so right but that would end up being a mistake in the long run.

Maybe if Drake had really been the asshole he’d started off as, maybe then she would be happier. Because then she wouldn’t have to face the feeling that she was losing something special, this man that seemed to just get her, who she just got in return. She would just be blissfully ignorant, letting things with Liam, someone who was far too gentle and adoring for her judgemental, brash, broken self, progress without her mind and heart wandering to someone else far too often.

But that wasn’t the reality here, and she needed to accept that. It was time to move on from the potential of Drake she’d constructed in her mind. It was just hard to do that when his arm was wrapped around her, his hand resting on her back, holding her close. So for one song, she decided to indulge in the fantasy, that there was a man who wanted her, warts and all. One that really saw her and still somehow decided to stick around. She couldn’t keep pretending forever, but for just this moment, she let herself imagine a different future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The music changed. The moment was over. It was time to face the harsh truth. So Drake took a slow step back. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t ready for this all to end. Liam was going to propose to her. She wasn’t his. It was time to let her go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He slowly pulled away from her almost as soon as the song ended. The spell of the moment was broken. Riley didn’t know if she was ready for the rest of the night, but she didn’t have much of a choice, so she dropped his hand, plastering on a smile as he awkwardly thanked her for the dance before she threw a quip back about making a gentleman out of him. It was time to let him go.

Permatag: @choicesficwriterscreations @walkerswhiskeygirl @riley--walker @bebepac @ravenpuff02 @oofchoices @octobereighth @drakewalker04 @kimmiedoo5 @mfackenthal @thequeenofcronuts

The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir: @ao719 @mskaneko @katedrakeohd @jovialyouthmusic @marshmallowsandfire @axwalker @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @dcbbw @yaushie

Drake x MC: @no-one-u-know @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @notoriouscs @drakesensworld @drake-colt-lover-99

#drake walker #drake x mc #trr fanfic #trr #the royal romance #choices fanfiction

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nostalgicphile · 3 years

Note

I don't see what is the problem of some "fans" with Peter Morgan - other than the sick notion that Gillian belongs with David. The man is a brilliant writer, I have not heard bad things from people in the industry, the opposite, actually, oscar winning actors admire him and love him and from the few interviews I've seen he seems a sweet person. Plus Gillian is happy and he's noting but supportive of her work and life. M&S belong together. The actors are just actors and human beings.

Okay, kids, gather ‘round. Grandma X-Files Fan has a story for you.

Once upon a time there was fandom centred around a show and two co-stars with crackling chemistry. A lot of people loved the notion of them together in the show and some were so obsessed with that idea that they tried to make that onscreen relationship overflow into real life - even though it was clear the aforementioned co-stars could barely tolerate one another offscreen. The fandom majority boo’ed these people, they were labelled “snoggers” and they were known outcasts in the fandom: rumour-mongers and just generally icky. Snogger stances could have you permanently banned from a lot of message boards (like the Haven) because it was considered hateful and disrespectful to the co-stars. Snoggers weren’t romanticizing the relationship - they were blatantly disrespecting the fact that these two people had marriages and children with others; it was behaviour that was policed by the fandom.

But a funny thing happened several years after the show ended. Both co-stars became single at the same time. A crazy blue platform with no fan police capabilities became the home for many show fans. The co-stars themselves seemed to not only really, really like each other, but seemed almost relentless in their attempts to tantalize fans (one in particular, **cough cough**). It set the stage for the new wave of snoggers, except they weren’t so much the dredges of fandom, but quasi-romantics swooning over two people with combustible sexual chemistry who seemed to be equally invested in the speculation game. Mainstream media picked up on the brouhaha and further legitimized the offscreen shipping. Many in the fandom - not just icky, deluded, mean folks - rode the wave. It was fun!

Then...the dream was clearly shown to be just that. Reality set in. It was time to accept that whatever was thought to be a thing wasn’t a thing - or certainly wasn’t a thing anymore. Most were just disappointed, gave it a laugh, and moved on. Some felt a bit silly for investing a ton of time on something that was clearly just a somewhat unconventional friendship. But others hung on. Spun extremely hurtful stories that brought back the memories of the snoggers of years gone by. They attacked the costars claiming their real life relationship was rooted in a “marketing campaign,” claimed they were “mentally unstable,” suffering from eating disorders, etc., etc. They also targeted many high-profile bloggers who accepted the way things actually were. I am not exaggerating when I say there was downright harassment and death threats (!!) waged against people for simply accepting what was right in front of their goddamned eyes. Those people still cling today but no one really pays attention to them. They are just noise, the somewhat embarrassing, deluded moldy crumbs at the bottom of the fandom jar.

In the meantime, one of our costars is living a wonderful life, happy with a seemingly lovely, supportive partner and stretching her acting muscles in a variety of exciting roles. (I don’t talk about the other co-star, unfortunately.)

And that, my dear, is the story. Have a good day, anon!

#fandom nonsense #an oral history #;)#The X-Files

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ourcorny · 3 years

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charactersssss (a constant wip)

annie morris … twenty-five. currently haunted by her paintings and doodles. how embarrassing! waitress, artist, medicated for an illness she doesn’t has. is actually just from a bloodline of cursed female creative types. more info can be found @tghluck. (fc: mary elizabeth winstead)

edward ainsley … sixteen years old, is actually fifty-seven, vegan vampire. utterly disliked by his vampiric peers due to his being turned into a vampire in his youth, rendered sixteen years old for life. has a tendency towards alcoholism in order to silence his cravings for blood since he deems vampirism altogether unethical. more info found @pastytwat (fc: craig roberts)

robbie moore … fifty. always one of those too big for his own boots kinda guys – one of the ‘i’m jumping ship as soon as hit eighteen’ types. that’s what he did, and that’s when he absolutely fucked it. ran his mouth too loud for too long and ruined any chances he had anywhere he went. robbie is a writer but his unwillingness to compromise with his work leaves him unable to find any real place in the industry. an absolute self publishing expert. to pay the bills he’s an english teacher but there’s no real passion for it. he came back to his hometown after struggling his way around the country and settled down in a marriage with his high school sweetheart that turned sour quickly. the pair never had children and were heading to a painful divorce when his wife passed away suddenly. years down the line and he’s still trying to wrap his head around it. jesus fuck this guy. (fc: marc maron)

tara shaw … thirty-four. owner of SHAWSPB, an independent publishing company ran (run? past tense…? it’s confusing) by one tara shaw, someone who needs to work on her social skills. as it seems, you can actually only reject so many people so many times before it bites you in the ass. more specifically (and more accurately), you can only reject so many people so meanly after you fire the companies’ reader because they’ve let one too many trashy reads out of the slush pile and you have to start wading through the heaving thing yourself. opening manuscripts seemed well and good and safe enough because all you’d be facing is words that were crappy in a worst case scenario, until late one night, you stumble upon something that a sour faced rejectee (yes, one that landed themselves with a personalised handwritten and very specific rejection from the woman herself) gets their pages in the pile. tara opens it and finds that it’s no story at all. it’s a string of nonsense – words that don’t exist, script she’s not sure she’s ever seen before, but transfixed on the page, tara shaw reads the thing front to back and the second she puts the papers down is hurtled into the space time continuum, left to float around in there til something grounds her back into the real world, when or wherever that is. it’s an act of karma, or something, and whenever she lands she pukes her guts out because that’s what that kind of thing does to the human body apparently. (fc: natasha lyonne)

genevieve walsh … seventeen. was made fun of in year six for choosing to go to an all girl’s catholic secondary school, her classmates saying that she would end up a lesbian. she did, though it was unrelated to her formal teaching. very unrelated. she has too much going on and is too moody for her own good. extra info can be found @genegrieve.

morrigan kenny … age unknown. bringer of the apocalypse. wanders earth with her way too long hair (it collects twigs and mud) looking for someone to spend the rest of the end with.

alex … thirty-odd (undisclosed actual age) years old. she is yet to learn to do her taxes, and is for all intents and purposes: a con-woman. arguably not an ethical profession, charging the old and the gullible for exorcisms and that of a supernatural variety while having no knowledge of the subject. but a girl’s gotta make a living — volunteering yourself for stand up gigs at the same place night in night out with little to no compensation doesn’t provide much. she’s a kind person, if you ignore the conning, and is decent to talk to. will give away any information. whoops. (fc: jenny slate)

lou webster … seventeen. modern prophet. refuses touch with good reason (skin on skin means she see the other person’s skin melting off, right to the bone). regularly sees the end of the world and it gives her stomach aches. (fc: natalia dyer)

liv o'dell … twenty-nine. screaming messy would probably win the lottery (the luck of her) if she ever tried it, multiple time accidental murderer. makes no sense. is rude. is annoying. has a surprisingly sweet daughter (kitty). more info @heavyroads

betty cloverfield … a twenty one year old motormouth who can’t hold down a single thing she’s meant to. she happens to have recently induced some type of magenta sensitive dissonance in her sensory processing that she can’t shake. it’s speculated by many that she’s taken one too many poppers and it’s taken its toll. (fc: kat dennings)

aiden ryder … seventeen years old. the angstiest, quietest idiot with four fully charged portable chargers to hand at any moment you will ever know. heavily associated with @optimistsclub (fc: jack kilmer)

mert james ... 21. a children’s author, the writer and illustrator of the BEWARE GIANT CREATRUES series. he has many reasons to not want to leave his house and most surround the obvious images conjured in the phrase hatemyself1999 — hate myself (explanatory) and 1999 (dexter ‘mert’ james’ birth year. also self explanatory once you know this fact). all that said, he does in fact leave his house. teaches drums to kids. none of them practise and it makes him insane. in a running circuit of bands where none of the members are committed. that, or he’s misjudging their commitment and giving them nothing when they do in fact care and then he is the dick. music snob, deadpan snarker, karma houdini, middle child syndrome, world of cardboard, can’t get away with nuthin, i coulda been a contender!

lazyguts / victoria ... suicide/eating disorder mention. i’m writing her through ages 17-19 and here’s the brief overview/context: lazyguts lost all of her friends the year before she went off to university as a result of her total withdrawal [causes being a) her brother attempting to kill himself (he survived but it’s very confusing to grieve a hypothetical especially when you’re not supposed to talk about it) and then b) her already struggling with food issues getting worse worse worse. these two things alone are not the reasons as no one else explicitly knows about them, but the adverse effects of these things combined make her difficult to be around/hard to maintain a friendship with her. all very tragic, but still happens. uno].going to a uni where she doesn’t know anyone seems like the best move. she does. she makes friends with a girl called olivia and they become mad close very quickly. this lasts maybe two months until lazyguts starts locking herself away in uni room and doesn’t see much of anyone at all. she has to drop out on mental health reasons just before the end of her first year. she moves back home and lives miserably and very solitary. she and olivia have long lost touch by this point. a few months later she sees an in memoriam post up on olivia’s social media from some of olivia’s friends saying how tragic the loss is, etc/ olivia had killed herself. the post had said something about a project for the close friends of olivia and she tentatively sends a message despite having never really known the girl. anyway, after quite a few ‘exaggerations’ and then a few straight up lies, she ends up super into the friend group of olivia’s based on the lie of being a long-time friend of hers. she’s not sure why the lie comes out nor why she keeps it going. it’s something to cling onto so she does. best way to put it is she’s very dear evan hansen about it, lying lying lying lllyyyinng. eventually she’s caught out but we’re not there yet (fc: odessa a’zion)

dale knox ... 30ish. painter/decorator. info literally not ever written out before. he’s lovely and in a constant state of stress! affiliated with @fullyfungi (fc: aidan turner)

lenny gata ... 26. lonely funeral poet. followed by a select few of the unknown dead #irl after an accidental latin spell read out at a graveside (not her fault, literally not her fault - she read this out in good faith). caught ignoring them/walking them to their homes depending on the day. (fc: aubrey plaza)

millie matthews ... 17. half part antichrist. the other half is her twin sister (#MISSING). currently, unfortunately, sadly, disappointgly, worryingly, being tracked down.

more tbaaaaaaaa thank you thank you

#cast.#ignore the state of this blog #the STATEEE

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moviemagistrate · 4 years

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ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD review

ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD is my favorite movie of the 2010’s.

I’ll give you a minute to put your recently-blown mind back together.

So why do I love this movie so much? The overall response to Quentin Tarantino’s supposedly penultimate opus has been very positive if not rapturous, but I’ve seen some surprisingly lukewarm and even negative reviews, with people criticizing it for being slow, meandering, lacking in depth or *shudder* boring. Obviously the quality of any movie is subjective, as I’m quick to remind anyone who hates Michael Bay movies, but I honestly don’t understand people who dislike OUATIH. Maybe it’s a matter of expectations, because I didn’t know how to feel about the film for much of the first time I watched it either.

The year is 1969, a time of great political and cultural change in the country and in the entertainment industry. The star-driven films of yesteryear are giving way to grittier, artsier, more auteur-driven works as we primarily follow Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio), former star of a popular cowboy show whose failed attempt to start an A-list movie career has left him relying on guest spots as TV villains-of-the-week to stay afloat. This is wonderfully laid out in the opening scene where he meets casting director Marvin Schwarz (Al Pacino, easily his best role since JACK & JILL), who lays out Rick’s lowering hierarchical status (“Who’s gonna kick the shit out of you next week? How about Batman & Robin? PING. POW”), while offering him an opportunity to be a leading-man again in Italian pictures.

Tagging along is Rick’s best, and maybe only, friend Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt), Rick’s go-with-the-flow stunt-double who in the slowdown of Rick’s career has effectively become his driver and gofer, as well as Rick’s sole source of emotional support. Rick is also neighbors with Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie), the beautiful young actress and wife of then-superstar director Roman Polanski (whose inclusion in the film is minimal and handled tastefully), as she lives out her idyllic life, beloved by those around her like the ray of sunshine she was in real life. Her gated, hillside home looms over Rick’s, as he ponders aloud about how even meeting her the right way could resurrect his career.

For almost two-and-a-half hours, we follow these three characters as they just live out their lives, Rick nursing hangovers and having emotional breakdowns in front of his 8-year-old co-star on set while contemplating his future, Cliff going where the wind blows him while taking care of his adorable and highly-trained dog, and Sharon as she drives around Old Hollywood, spends time with her friends, and sneaks into a matinee showing of one of her movies, her eyes and infectious smile beaming with pride when the audience laughs at her comedic timing and cheers her martial-arts prowess.

I think it’s safe to say it’s not the film any of us were expecting from Quentin Tarantino. Having only made loud, gory, over-the-top genre pastiches for the last 15 years, you’d expect from the trailers for this to be about an actor and his sexy stunt-double getting mixed up with the Manson family before teaming up with Bruce Lee to save Sharon Tate from her horrific real-life fate, mixed with the filmmaker’s usual self-indulgent homages to films of yesteryear. While some of this is true to some extent, it’s surprisingly a much more relaxed, easygoing dramedy that follows a trio of funny, charismatic people as they just…exist, as people living in the moment instead of relics.

OUATIH is much more concerned with atmosphere, character, and capturing the feeling of a bygone era than the traditional narrative structure. It’s more effective than pretty much every nostalgia trip movie I've ever seen because you can feel Tarantino's affection for this era of his childhood bleed through every character, car, song, radio advertisement, TV show, background poster, etc. It’s through this meticulous level of detail and willingness to just hang out with these characters and take in this world that he reconstructed, Tarantino successfully resurrects the era in all its 35mm glory, but with the knowing twinge of real-world melancholy.

I guess the reason I love it so much is because the love that Tarantino has for everything and everyone in it is so tangible that it’s infectious. Watching OUATIH I honestly felt like I understood him better as both a filmmaker and as a person. He shows a level of restraint and maturity I haven’t seen since JACKIE BROWN. Even most of his trademark foot fetishizing is tasteful and subdued (I say “most” because I recall at least three close-ups of actresses’ feet that definitely made him a bit sweaty behind the camera). He’s a weird, shameless nerd with a big ego, but he’s 100% sincere about expressing his love for film and its rich history. And it’s this love, and the skill and style with which it’s expressed, that just put a big smile on my face each of the 6 (SIX) times that I’ve seen it since it came out.

Tarantino offers a tantalizing contrast between reality and fantasy. Throughout the film, as the characters of Hollywood live in their own idyllic world, relaxing in pools or driving around in bitchin’ cars, we also see the disquieting eeriness and griminess of the Manson family. The soundtrack and accompanying old-timey commercials for tanning butter or Mug Root Beer that plays through a lot of the film is a joy to listen to, but we also hear news bulletins of the war in Vietnam or the aftermath of the Bobby Kennedy assassination. You could argue this is just to set the scene for the era, but it feels too deliberate, because even after that joyously fantastical ending, we remember that it was just a fairy tale and real life didn’t turn out as pleasantly. Tarantino’s ability to make his world and characters so meticulously detailed and lived-in works to great effect in instilling a bittersweet melancholy to this film in a way I was really taken aback by. It feels like a window into his soul, someone who yearns for the fantasy of the world he grew up in but remembering that not all good things last and not everything in your nostalgic past was good to begin with.

One beautiful, spellbinding scene is Rick and Cliff coming back from their excursion into the world of Italian filmmaking. In this montage, we see Rick, Cliff and Rick’s new Italian wife arriving at the airport and driving home before unpacking their baggage, interspersed with Sharon Tate welcoming a guest at her home and having lunch, before cutting to a series of shots of famous LA landmarks like Grauman's Chinese Theatre, Taco Bell, and Der Wienerschnitzel all meticulously resurrected in their retro glory as they light up the night. “Baby, baby, baby you’re out of time”, sings Mick Jagger as we’re watching multiple stories about people who are each embodying those words: Rick’s career, his friendship with Cliff, Sharon Tate, and Hollywood itself.

Tarantino himself feels like one of the last mainstream auteur filmmakers, as well as one of the last and biggest proponents of shooting large-budget movies on film (even Scorsese’s embraced digital now, the fantastically-talented traitor). And with the rise of streaming services, one can’t help but feel like the movie-going experience itself is also becoming obsolete, especially recently, what with theaters going to war with distributors over fucking TROLLS: WORLD TOUR, not to mention that global pandemic we’ve been having lately all but killing general audiences’ enthusiasm for the movie theater experience (Christopher Nolan’s TENET certainly didn’t help). If all these things, both real and fictional, are indeed out of time, then at least with Tarantino’s penultimate film they get one hell of a bittersweet sendoff, a great time that’s more of an Irish wake than a funeral, and it’s a film I have no issue calling a truly introspective, late-career masterpiece.

And that’s without mentioning uniformly incredible cast. Leo DiCaprio, an actor I normally don’t care too much for, gives the best and funniest performance of his career as a dependent prima donna actor clinging to his remaining fame. Brad Pitt earns the hell out of his Oscar as an embodiment of old-school masculinity and charisma with an amazing set of abs (and everything else) whose outward coolness masks his mysterious past and complete badass-ness. Margot Robbie shines in her depiction of Tate, a beacon of warmth and likability who in many ways symbolized the love and carefree attitudes of the swingin’ 60’s. I’ve heard people criticize her character for not having a lot of dialogue, but to me it feels like they’re ignoring the visual storytelling, which just gives way to them assuming the film is sexist just because the female lead isn’t constantly monologuing. Every member of the supporting cast is memorable with their own quirks and great lines, no matter their screentime.

And of course, it wouldn’t be a Tarantino joint without some truly hilarious and shocking violence, and without going into spoiler territory, the last 20 minutes delivers on this promise to such a degree that I feel comfortable calling it the best thing he’s ever done. Some may decry the climax as unnecessary or over-the-top, but the way it leads to an alternate world while subtly acknowledging what happened in the real one is cathartic beyond belief. And if you’re paying attention, every scene in the movie has been quietly building towards this finale, which to me takes away any potential of feeling meandering in the story. If you saw the movie and didn’t much care for it, I recommend giving it another watch. Having the context ahead of time makes it feel so much more rewarding, and even on the fifth watch I’m noticing clever, subtle set-ups I missed beforehand.

It’s also just super cozy and really easy to watch. The two hours and 45 minutes fly by. I could watch a 4-hour version of this.

Quentin, if you’re reading this, please don’t let your last movie be Star Trek.

#tarantino #feet #hippies #brad pitt

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casually-inlove · 5 years

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Hi! I love your analysis and i want to know your opinion about he tian and jian yi jealous How did you think they gonna react if they see xixi and Mo with others o maybe if xixi and Mo have a good friendship, did you imagine he tian and jian yi watching them jealous?

UPDATED: added the Jian Yi bit I missed.

Gosh, you guys make me embarrassed lol. I honestly never expected these kinds of posts to get positive feedback. But I’m very excited that you enjoy reading it so thank you so much!

Back to your question. Firstly, as preamble, I’d like to state that I do not consider jealousy an entirely healthy sort of reaction nor do I endorse it in any way. A little jealousy is natural, but extreme jealous outbursts are truly unbecoming, nor do I want to romanticize them in any way.

(This is gonna be long, so better grab a chair).

Now when it comes to He Tian, I truly believe that feeling jealous will be a new and entirely unnerving experience to him. Looking back at his past experiences and childhood traumas, it’s quite obvious that he’s somewhat disconnected and detached from his own feelings. This is most evident in the emptiness that fills his life: he has no real passion (save for basketball maybe), no close relationships (until he meets MGS and co, and still he’s not open about himself yet), no deep ties to his family, and he practically stripped himself bare of any personal possessions. Hell, with all the money he has, his apartment is empty and all his stuff fits nicely in just a couple of cardboard boxes. So bottom line, He Tian isn’t used to getting attached to things or people, consciously or subconsciously he ends up avoiding it. That, of course, can be traced back to the puppy incident which basically splits itself into three points: 1) the puppy he came to love and care was gruesomely taken away from him 2) his brother, the person who He Tian trusted the most, betrayed him 3) He Tian was weak, so he had to entrust something he loved into another person’s care, and thus it ended up in a disaster, because he couldn’t protect the puppy himself.

Now that he is becoming more and more attached to MGS, I’m pretty sure that some of his deep-rooted fears will intensify, particularly the ones that relate to his past inability to protect something he cherished. On the other hand, He Tian clearly wishes Mo well. It’s evident from the way he went out of his way to find him a well-paying job at the photography studio, and even tried to compliment Mo on being industrious and finally looking like somebody. I do believe that He Tian is somewhat familiar with Mo’s reputation, at very least he probably heard the rumours and we know for sure that he had been checking the detention board. So he probably knows that in fact, MGS doesn’t have that many friendships outside his henchmen. With that said, I believe a part of He Tian would want to be supportive of Mo building healthy connections with other people.

And that’s where He Tian’s inner conflict will come into the light because he’ll be faced with his deep-running internalized fears that he may not rationally understand battling his desire to be supportive and selfless. Considering that He Tian’s upbringing probably caused him to shut off his own emotions, this is going to be very hard for him. The novelty of it, the inner turmoil of conflicting feelings, his inability to adequately process and express his emotions – all of it will likely put a strain on He Tian. While I don’t see him throwing a jealousy fit (he just doesn’t seem like the type, besides as I mentioned, he ultimately wants to be good for MGS even if he doesn’t always know how), I could see him getting crabby to the point Mo notices and wonders wtf is going on. Or, more likely, I could see him becoming extra-clingy, invading Mo’s personal space or y’know, going all “excuse me, let me borrow Little Mo for a sec”. What I do not see is He Tian being downright nasty about it and fending off anyone who comes into close vicinity of Mo. Absolutely not.

As for ZZX, I believe that as of right now he’s taking Jian Yi a little bit for granted, however, once Jian Yi gets kidnapped, his attitude will change. We know that ZZX is somewhat annoyed by Jian Yi’s antics. It just happens that our lovely airhead fits the bill of a boy who cried wolves. OX scattered these moments throughout the narrative, like when Jian Yi does that careless hide-and-seek thing making ZZX worry for nothing. So I expect that as the story goes on, ZZX will be taking him with a grain of salt.

Obviously, ZZX worries for him. And I think we’ve noticed something like distrust mixed with maybe some airs of disapproval when Brother Qiu gave Jian Yi a lift on his bike. The face that ZZX makes doesn’t look like one that endorsed Jian Yi being so careless around a stranger.

There’s also a strip from the earlier short comic series (it takes place after Jian Yi reappears), where a drunk older Jian Yi apparently ends up leaning against a very imposing stranger, to ZZX dismay at that. ZZX, who had previously pushed Jian Yi off, now quickly rectifies himself and tugs Jian Yi away from another dude. He’s silent but yeah, you can see it written all over his face: ZZX does not approve Jian Yi hanging around older men, haha.

Anyway, back to my original point. I think that post Jian Yi’s return, ZZX gonna treat him with greater care, precisely because he had lost him once. Those feelings of loss and inability to prevent it will probably cause ZZX to act low-key possessive like he did in that strip. Sure, he’s worried about his safety, but I cannot help but feel that ZZX feels a bit inadequate when he sees Jian Yi get close to someone older… and bigger? If we go waaaay back to the first kidnapping attempt, we see that in the aftermath ZZX feels down allegedly because he wants to grow up and become strong in order to protect Jian Yi. Perhaps that is why he appears slightly pissed when Jian Yi ends up close with someone ZZX can’t take on?

As for ZZX and Momo… well, I just don’t see them giving off couple vibes. They are probably gonna spend their time in rather comfortable silence. For Momo ZZX is someone who doesn’t annoy him with endless chitchat, and for ZZX Momo is someone who doesn’t indulge in silly ideas. So no, I don’t imagine them spending time next to each other would somehow bother Jian Yi or He Tian. It’s just not that type of bond.

EDIT

Apologies to the anon who asked the question. I seem to have misread it a bit. I usually answer these things when I’m back from work and by the end of the day, I’m thoroughly braindead and confusing 3’s for 8’s, lol. Again, my apologies.

So the question was actually about how would Jian Yi react to seeing ZZX with other people, not the other way around.

I do see Jian Yi as someone prone to jealousy. In fact, I think we can safely assume that Jian Yi displays some signs of anxious attachment style. Attachment styles are, by and large, the behavioural patterns that define our habits of building and maintaining long-term and short-term relationships. Anxious attachment forms in children when the parental figure vacillates between being there for them (caring, feeding, being emotionally supportive, etc) and being either distant/absent, or insensitive and otherwise not providing them with attention and care. The child thus undergoes greater levels of distress, because the parent is unpredictable, and the child doesn’t understand what to expect and whether they will be cared for or left on their own. As they grow up, they start displaying such behaviours as being clingy or smothering, since they subconsciously believe that the only way for them to survive is to cling close to their attachment figure, often both in the emotional and physical sense of it.

Now from what we know of Jian Yi, his father was absent from his life, while his mother seems to be frequently missing. We have seen tell ZZX that some auntie is picking him after kindergarten. Some flashbacks also show him being lonely and apparently alone at home. There’s also a scene where a young Jian Yi is weeping and coming up with an idea that “mother doesn’t want him anymore”, which are also quite telling.

From the narrative, we learn that it is ZZX who becomes a significant attachment figure to Jian Yi. Hell, during the kidnapping, Jian Yi isn’t thinking about seeing his mom again, he’s thinking about ZZX. Apart from clinginess, people with an anxious attachment style may indulge themselves in constantly testing whether their partner worries about them. Now I’m not saying that Jian Yi is manipulative in any way or that he plays games with ZZX, however, he does often want his attention/approval, like when he does that pounce thing or when he half-heartedly tries to play hide-and-seek in an inopportune moment. Also, quite clearly Jian Yi doesn’t like being separated from his boyfriend, lol.

Typically, jealousy in people with anxious attachment manifests itself from their own deep-running insecurities. Insecurity makes people become very critical about themselves, so they may often have these lines of thinking: “you are so desperate/needy/selfish, of course, he/she will be annoyed by you” and thus they may often feel unfulfilled because they tend to suppress their need for affection. These suppressed feelings, in turn, may result in short anger outbursts and some distrustful or controlling behaviour. We have seen bits of both when Jian Yi had to deal with a love-letter from a girl who had a crush on ZZX (what’s her name again?).

How Jian Yi would behave if he became jealous: likely he’ll become emotionally withdrawn due to deep-seated insecurities, might fluctuate between emotional outbursts and clinginess. Will he be nasty to the other person? No, not very likely. However, he did display the so-called behavioural jealousy (the set of defensive measures against the perceived threat of a romantic rival): he agreed to help the girl deliver the love-letter on condition that she’ll never approach ZZX again.

So yes, I do see him being inclined to some jealous behaviours, but again not towards Momo x ZZX. As I said, there isn’t anything remotely romantic about them spending time together.

#19 days #tianshan #zhanyi #ask #it was a truly wonderful ask and I had fun writing it <3 so thank you #q&a time

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wa-sabi · 5 years

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Once upon a time in...Hollywood.

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

I am very happy with Once upon a time in Hollywood, a plotless movie. The absence of a specific storyline made totally sense in my opinion as this isn’t a movie about people, but rather a movie about a microcosm that is cinema, with its ascending and falling stars in a very specific time in history, 1969, which becomes the perfect laboratory to observe dynamics that are as old as Hollywood: the rise and fall of an actor’s career. I believe it’s important to stress that in the case of Rick Dalton’s, it doesn’t occur because of a specific reason. Nothing or no-one can be blamed for the descending path of his career, actually when we see him he is in the middle of his professional crisis. Yet never is implied that he lacks talent, professionalism or that someone came to replace him. His alcoholism is the consequence rather than the cause of the crisis he goes through and, again, is not a personal crisis but much wider as it involves a whole genre. I believe this is well portrayed through Rick and Cliff’s friendship and even if at first I had the impression of the latter being nothing but the mirror of Leo’s character, the ghost of his past career lingering around to give him something to hold onto when his success slowly disappears, actually he is far from being Dalton’s mere acting double. Cliff has a distinctive personality and we see the story even from his perspective. He is much diverse from Rick, remaining solid through the struggles he is evidently facing no differently than his fellow friend: indeed he is suspected of murdering his wife, his frustration is violently released against the hippies he meets at the ranch, but I believe he was given the most beautiful piece of metaphor in this movie. If Rick lives on top of Hollywood, Cliff’s house is a caravan instead, one that happens to be located behind a Drive in: just like on set we can find him behind the scenes, so his home is behind a screen.

Their roles in the industry are different and so are their reactions: Cliff doesn’t despise the idea of making spaghetti westerns in Italy to keep working, but Rick Dalton rejects the possibility of it because he is deep into the myth of his own persona. He wants to defend his status in Hollywood more than his career, it seems like he isn’t clinging onto acting itself but on the fame it brought him. Yet his character experiences an evolution, as we see him put his greatest effort in the scene he acts out with the little girl and Luke Perry. It’s where we see in him a passion for acting, the wish to prove his talent to himself and his on screen partners before exiting with dignity the scenes as he finally comes to terms with the end of his era. But even if at opposite stages of their careers, Sharon and Rick are somehow comparable. They both experience the feeling of “not being recognized”: we see Rick in the changing room, talking with Lancer’s director about his costume and he complains that with the hair and the mustache Sam Wanamaker suggested to put on him “people wouldn’t recognize his face”. On the other hand we see Sharon Tate at the cinema hall, to watch the movie she stars in The Wrecking Crew, taking a minute to have herself recognized as one of the actors. It was an interesting juxtaposition, showing how a the beginning and the end of a career collide right in the moment when not many people recognize you: not as many as before or not many yet. A further parallelism can be seen during the airport scenes (hello Jackie Brown!): Sharon is returning to LA with Polanski at the beginning of the movie; later in the movie Dalton and his Italian wife do the same, but within a much different context. Sharon is received by a crowd of photographers, Rick passes by unnoticed while Cliff is carrying his baggage, both material and emotional.

Yet if Tarantino could rewrite history, we owe it to Rick Dalton and his successful series Bounty Law: the members of the Manson cult can readjust their murderous intents and target him instead (with no success) just because they recognized him, after being redirected away from the private street where he and Tate live. So no differently from what he did with inglorious bastards, Tarantino changes the turn of events to serve his narrative intent and in this case, saving Sharon’s life was the only correct epilogue to a story meant to celebrate cinema and its ability of making everything possible. Just like Tarantino proved by changing Sharon’s fate. If the title of the movie is supposed to recall a fairytale, it’s exactly a happy ending what we get: Rick is not discarded as only a memory of the past, as both him and Cliff triumph as the heroes of the night. At the end of the movie he is invited to Tate’s house and he is reminded as a great actor, praised for his talent and received by Sharon herself, hugging him as if to welcome him on her side in the Olympus of the legends of Hollywood, where Rick earned his righteous place. He lives on in the memory of the new generation, Sharon herself remains in our and they will know no death, ever, because cinema, just like every form of art, is what made them immortal.

I have to say this movie pleasantly surprised me because the Manson cult had no space in it, if not to be ridiculed as they were by the hands of a stunt man and the bite of a dog. There was nothing intriguing in the representation they receive in this movie because they are shown for what they actually were: a bunch of toxic freaks, lobotomized by the words of a charismatic leader who isn’t shown for longer than a couple of minutes. I loved the distance it was visually created in the movie between him and Sharon on the day he walks up the hill and peeks at her who is standing by the door: she appears high and unreachable, somehow holy as the light in the scene of her dancing in her house envelops her in gold, as if she was a goddess. I believe Tarantino to be helplessly in love with her.

Lastly the theme of television and violence. It is very clearly explored in the scene where the four Manson followers are in the car, discussing on what to do after Rick scared them away from his house and one of the girls( which is supposed to be Susan Atkin, Sharon Tate’s actual murderer) comes up with the plan of killing Dalton. Indeed they recognize him as the lead of the series Bounty Law and decide to cast punishment above him: tv shows have taught them nothing but violence and killing, and so as a sort of counterbalance, they come up with the idea of killing one of their tv mentors, which is Dalton himself who made a career off the role of a bounty hunter. Now the motif they fabricate is absurd as it’s only meant to be an alibi for a wish of revenge that originates elsewhere, being it in a disturbed personality, marginalization or a profound social unrest. When Cliff visits the commune at the ranch we see Squeaky and others stuck in front of a television, but their perversions cannot be blamed on television they so avidly watch: It’s more likely that it was the isolation from society, the large use of drugs and being brainwashed by Mason’s prophecies to shape the members of that commune into murderers. But after all Tarantino’s movies aren’t meant to be a social or psychological analysis and in this movie, where he is dealing with real life people, there is no real violence. None of the real characters is hurt or is hurt for real: Sharon isn’t killed; when Cliff is fighting the cult members (which portray real people) he is tripping off a cigarette soaked in acid and Rick is hella drunk, giving us the impression of it all being an hallucination. I believe that Tarantino was very careful in dealing with the killings in this movie, making sure violence remained confined to fictional characters and fictional ways. Realistically, who would ever die by getting hit in the face with a dog food can and burnt in the pool by a famous Hollywood actor who happens to keep flame thrower in his backyard? It’s the absurdity of it all that makes it acceptable. Real life violence on the other hand is a different matter, and Tarantino doesn’t even try to approach it.

Conclusively, this movie was not the movie of my life, but it was something from a point of view I never saw and very fun to watch. It was romantic, yet realistic, and I’d love to watch it again.

FUN FACTS!

In the credit scene Rick Dalton advertises a cigarette brand, Red Apple, which Tarantino invented and we can see in both Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill (and more).

A special mention goes to Brandy, who won at this year Cannes film festival the Palm Dog award. Speaking of Tarantino’s brand, we find a new one dedicated to her: Wolf’s tooth. Good food for mean dogs!

The movie is also FILLED with references to other movies, a lot of which are actual Spaghetti Westerns from Italian directors (Sergio Corbucci is a real director) and we find a reference to Polanki’s own movie Tess which is based on the novel Tess of the D’Urbervilles: we see Sharon Tate buy a copy for her husband the bookstore before going to the movie theatre.

#once upon a time in hollywood #spoilers #spoiler #my personal thoughts.

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seraphcna-blog · 5 years

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hi <3 i’m diana, i’m nineteen ( twenty in a week......no one talk 2 me ), i use she/her pronouns n reside in the est time zone !! quick facts abt me...i’m a libra ( so yes, i’m a little dumb ), i am a lana del rey and girl group stan FIRST and human second....and that is all !! now onto seraphina, u can read abt this baby below the cut. also u should plot with me because u make me ~ 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 ~

( NEPTUNE, JANG YEEUN, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER ) guess what, SERAPHINA WANG has just landed in cannes with their private jet. they are a TWENTY year old socialite, who spends much of their time & money DAY-DREAMING. i think their family is in the BEAUTY INDUSTRY and their net worth is around 2 BILLION USD.

( 𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫. )

seraphina was born on the 4th of march, 1999. she was born in paris, france because her parents were in town for fashion week. creating and leading one of the biggest beauty companies in the world, her mother was expected to attend

her father protested, due to how close she was to her due date, but despite her pregnancy, her mother never really stopped working and continued to work even after seraphina was born

the story behind her parents marriage was not especially romantic. her mother came from old money, and her father was a soccer player, also heir to his parents fortune. it was a match made in heaven--or hell, depending on who you ask

they were quick to marry, but her father actually fell madly in love. her mother enjoyed his devotion, but when it came down to it, she was married to her career and all she really strove for was success

they were married for around 8 long years when her mother got pregnant. of course, it wasn’t planned in the slightest, and she wasn’t too thrilled but her parent’s (sera’s granparent’s) had been pushing for grandchildren for years

her father was happy. he thought a child was the perfect way to get her mother to step down from work for a bit and for them to actually be a happy family

unfortunately for seraphina and her father, that was never the case. her mother put her career before anyone else. she never wanted to get married or have kids in the first place

so, when seraphina was born, she was handed off to a nanny and her mother went straight to work

her father attempted to be there at the start, and he was for a few years, but it became increasingly difficult to be around seraphina who resembled her mother so much. he felt it was a constant reminder of his failed marriage and miserable life

seraphina was left to the nannies again. luckily for her, she was raised by two wonderful women who loved her dearly. they taught her the importance of kindness and let her know it was okay to be sensitive. admittedly, they coddled her a bit too much and it would make her vulnerable in the future

she grew up with both her parental figures mostly absent. her father popped in once in a while, but he had succumbed to alcoholism and was too busy wrapped up in a string of affairs to really care.

her mother was away on business most of the time, but there were some nights when she’d return from a business trip and pay her daughter a visit. she would tell her stories about her travels, tales of extravagant parties and experimental fashion. seraphina ate it up. she craved for her mother’s attention desperately, so when she received it, she dreamed of the stories she told her for months until she’d see her again and hear new stories

despite her situation, she didn’t feel any resentment toward her parents. in fact, she wanted their love and validation more than anything. but she figured as long as they were happy doing whatever they were doing, she shouldn’t be so selfish in wanting them to spend time with her. besides, all the kids like her experienced the same thing. neglect was just part of the package

she spent all of her free time with her head in a novel or watching obscure cinema. she enjoyed getting lost in the stories, pretending she was part of them. she also became increasingly fascinated with the idea of love, especially as she grew older, though she had no idea what it was supposed to look like. her only examples were the things she saw in movies or read in her favorite books

when it came to schooling, seraphina switched around a lot between new york city, australia and france. it made it difficult to make long term friends, but she liked not being in one place for too long

she had boyfriends and girlfriends here and there, but nothing truly stuck. it was easy for her to fall for someone, but once they got together, she realized maybe she didn’t actually like them all that much

still, she believed in love as strongly as ever and believes one day she’ll find it, the real kind

it was always easy for seraphina to make friends. she was kind to everyone, but being a wang came with certain perks. no one would dare say a bad word about her. how could they?

all she wanted in a friend was someone that was willing to try new things with her. she was a good girl, but she would do or try almost anything for the experience

only in recent years has seraphina started to realized the way the world truly works. after years of hiding it, she found out her father had another child. it wasn’t intentional, but it happened with some woman he had an affair with

the worst part was, he was actually there for that child. it wasn’t hard for him to lead a secret life with another family while seraphina was away at school and her mother off on business

this discovery broke her heart. for the first time in her life, she understood what it was like to have your heart broken. she’s done her best to pick up the pieces and move forward, but it isn’t as simple as she hoped it’d be

she tries to maintain her optimistic outlook, but she finds that some of her beliefs are changing

( 𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀. )

seraphina is a dreamer at heart. you can always find her lost in one of her daydreams. her attention span can be pretty short, only because her mind is constantly lingering on some fantasy

she is a very friendly, a softie u could say. she tries to be friends with everyone, partially because she is a bit of a people pleaser, but obviously not everyone will like u and she has trouble accepting this.

she also tends to be a bit of an optimist, so it’s easy for her to be manipulated or like taken advantage of. she’s a glass half full kind of girl

she is a pisces sun libra moon, so yes, a softie. falls in and out of “love” very quickly but it isn’t actually love most of the time.

she can be pretty naive at times because she was never rly exposed to anything that CRAZY and even when she is she’s just akdjhsjkhd dumb idk so she’s like :O most of the time when anything happens

ok she loves to have fun and make memories and live life. she refuses to waste any of her precious time being bored so she’s always off doing something to keep herself entertained

she loves to try new things and will try ANYTHING once

with her mom being such a prominent leader of the beauty industry, seraphina grew to love all things related to fashion and makeup. she uses both as the ultimate form of self expression and can often be seen in some weird looks (euphoria makeup lolzzz). she doesn’t really have a set aesthetic fashion wise because she dresses however she’s feeling in the moment and her interests are often changing, but her fav color is blue so you’ll catch her in blue a whole lot

she clings desperately to her fantasies despite how easily they can be torn down. she tries to remain in her little bubble and dream world because things are better there, or are they rly? lowkey she’s just running from her true feelings which she’s kinda bottled for years n years whew,,,,

she is a social butterfly she loves to be around people but can get bored easily so she likes when ppl keep things spicy

she is bi bi bi babey !

( 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺. )

adventure buddy - someone who is down to do some fun shit with her !!! someone who explores with her and tries new things with her

ex-fling/gf/bf - there could b a few of these !! they could have ended on bad terms or good terms still have lingering feels or sexual tension or something of the sort but we can plot out the details however

unrequited crush - maybe seraphina has a crush on ur muse. she is constantly falling for people so it would not be unlikely !! OR ur muse could have a crush on her and she’s oblivious to it

current fling/friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing/sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t.

enemies w benefits - imagine the tension !!! they started out not getting along, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. i think it would b cool if they kept it a secret, they don’t want anyone else to know. this could develop in soooo many ways ! pls i want this it’s so sexy and she doesn’t dislike/not get along w that many people i’d say so it will be so interesting

ex-friends - someone she used to consider a best friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason n maybe they hate each other now. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how

sibling-like friendship - someone she sees like a sibling. they’re there for each other and look out for one another, always have each other’s backs. being an only child (minus her new sibling that she does not even know) and not really close to her parents, she would love a friend that she could basically call family !

dynamic duo - basically like her current best friend. this person is prob one of the closest people to her and knows her very well ! they could b a power duo, always looking out for each other

take care - someone who kind of looks after her ?? maybe when she parties a lil too hard and drinks a lil too much, someone who kind of takes care of her n makes sure shes ok ! they would be someone she trusts a lottttt and also seraphina is a lightweight so like,, sis needs the help

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other. they don’t necessarily have to be the closest friends ever, but they get along, trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private

rivals - they don’t like each other for whatever reason. maybe it’s jealousy or their personalities just clash, but for whatever reason they do not get along. maybe they bring out a bad side to seraphina that most ppl dont see

bad influence - seraphina is a mostly good girl, so i’d luvvvvv for a bad influence plot !! she drinks and does drugs here n there but other than that she’s pretty much a good girl so someone fuck her up and change that pls

good influence - someone she can be a good influence on, someone she brings out the best in, maybe someone she rly cares about and wants to look after to make sure they’re ok !!

these are all the plot ideas i can think of for now, but i’ll prob make a plots page later on and add more stuff !

#✧.° ░ 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒓𝒚 𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒙𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒉𝒂 ╱ ooc.#opulentintro #can u guys believe i did it .... wow #sorry if it's a little lengthy i always ramble a little #but anyway now pls plot with me <3 #let's go sexi plots !#i'm calling it a night tho i hav school tomorrow and i hav to shower

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areiton · 5 years

Text

something better

Square: A3 - Free Space for @tonystarkbingo

Title: something better

Pairing: Rhodey/Tony Stark

Warnings: Drinking

Summary: He never wanted to make weapons. He loved robots, loved creating, loved figuring out how to make things better. Destroying–that was never his goal.And then he met Rhodey.

A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18326219

~*~

I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them.

~*~

He never wanted to make weapons. He loved robots, loved creating, loved figuring out how to make things better. Destroying–that was never his goal.

And then he met Rhodey.

~*~

He built engines first.

To get his father’s attention, but also because he couldn’t not--there was a burning curiosity, to know how to make them work, how to make them better.

He made engines that could run on saline water, made engines that ran on ethanol, made engines better and cleaner and quieter and more powerful.

And it never did make his father proud, but when he rambled at Rhodey about it, his friend smiled, his eyes bright and fond and Tony felt like maybe he was doing something right.

~*~

He whispers about his bot to Rhodey in their little apartment in Cambridge, and Rhodey pets his hair and tells him he can create whatever he wants.

“It'll make the world better,” he says and Rhodey smiles at him.

“ You make the world better.”

~*~

“Why don’t you make weapons?” Rhodey asks, once. It’s right after their first, only, disastrous trip to the Stark family seat, and Howard’s dismissal of Tony’s prototype of his first bot. He laughed, and Maria stood by, pale faced and trembling as Howard called the plans dumb, a waste, a fool’s errand.

“Because I want to create,” Tony whispers, into his friend’s shoulder, warm and solid under his lips. “I don’t--I want to be better.”

“You already are,” Rhodey promises.

~*~

He names the bot DUM-E and he cries as it prods, gently, at his shoulder, gears whirring.

He promises himself and his bot, he’ll do better than Howard ever did.

~*~

“Why do you have to go?” Tony asks. He knows the answer, but he still asks.

He knew this was coming and it still hurts.

“I’ll be home before you know it. You won’t even miss me,” Rhodey promises.

Tony doesn’t argue. He knows the truth--he’ll miss Rhodey like an arm, a gaping hole in the chest.

He smiles, and says, “I’ll build you something pretty, ok?”

Rhodey smiles, presses a kiss to his forehead and takes his bag to answer the Air Force’s call.

~*~

He rebuilds a Roadster over the long summer without Rhodey, fills up his days with working on the engine and tinkering with DUM-E, and his empty evenings coding a project he can’t quite name yet. Obediah comes by and pokes around the workshop and Tony is glad, so glad that he hid the plans, that there’s nothing but a very pretty car for him to discover.

“You could be helping build SI, son,” Obei says and Tony swallows around his nausea.

He’s going to build something.

Something better.

~*~

Rhodey comes home, thinner than Tony has ever seen him, bright with something Tony doesn’t understand, but his smile is soft for Tony, and he listens as Tony talks talks talks, desperate and incessant, until Rhodey drags him close, pins him to the couch and covers him with his weight and whispers, “I’m home, sweetheart. I’m here.”

Rhodey doesn’t mention Tony’s tears, and Tony doesn’t mention the way Rhodey kisses them away, but it feels like something shifts between them.

~*~

Howard and Maria die, and the world doesn’t stop, and Tony--Tony hates it for that.

For refusing to come to a standstill with him and his grief that feels all encompassing, that feels like it will drown him.

Rhodey presses close, holds him when he sobs in his bed, keeps Obadiah and his endless demands at bay.

Tony thinks he wouldn’t survive, if it weren’t for Rhodey.

And then--when the world is dark and Rhodey is his only shining light--the Air Force calls and steals him away.

~*~

Tony is silent and furious, trembling where he leans against the doorjamb, watching Rhodey pack. They haven't argued, really--there has only been quaking anger and tense silence.

“I don't want to go,” Rhodey says, the night before he leaves.

“Then don't,” Tony says, almost begs, and Rhodey sighs.

Tony crawls in his lap and catches Rhodey's gasp with his lips, presses him into the couch, kisses him until Rhodey groans and grabs his hips and pulls him closer, rolls his hips up to grind into Tony.

Tony mewls and it makes something in Rhodey shift. Lighten the kiss and grip on his hips, petting at Tony until he slumps, trembling, in Rhodey's arms, tears wet against his throat.

“Don't leave me,” Tony whispers and Rhodey doesn't answer, can't answer, just tightens his grip on him and holds him through the night.

~*~

He's gone in the morning and Tony spends it trashing his newest bot, and crying, before he drinks himself sick.

~*~

When Rhodey comes home--Tony looks at him, a drunk, guilty smile on his lips. The apartment is trashed, pieces of a new bot mangled on the ground. There are bottles everywhere and most telling is the blonde girl passed out next to him.

Rhodey sighs.

He cleans Tony up, politely ushers his bedmate out and gets to work cleaning up the house.

When he finds Tony, slumped and sobbing, in the shower, he sighs and gently gathers him up, drying him and pulling him to bed.

“I'm sorry,” Tony whispers. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry.”

Rhodey kisses his hair and hums until Tony exhausts himself, slumps boneless in Rhodey's arms. And then he murmurs, gently. “People fuck up, Tones. But this is your chance to be better.”

~*~

They don't talk about it.

But Rhodey doesn't kiss him again. They step back into friendship that is good but not everything Tony wants.

He stops drinking, goes back to building and his classes and when Obadiah calls, he gives him control of SI.

“I'm not a weapons builder,” he says.

“I want to make SI into something great,” he says.

Rhodey smiles at him. “You will.”

~*~

Rhodey leaves and every time, Tony fights it, fights the urge to spiral into alcohol and meaningless sex. Every time, he retreats to his workshop and builds , with shaking hands and eyes blurry with tears, and the ache of something important and missing.

And every time, Rhodey comes home, worn and battered and beautiful, and his eyes are soft and warm and proud when he follows Tony and listens to everything he’s done, everything he’s made better, while Rhodey was gone.

~*~

“You could work for SI, you know. It doesn’t have to be the Air Force,” Tony says. It’s a familiar offer, and Rhodey rolls his eyes and steals Tony’s beer. “I can give you a whole department, platypus.”

“You don’t even want SI,” Rhodey says, softly and Tony blinks at him.

“I’d take it. For you. If you wanted me too--I’d do it, for you.”

Rhodey’s breath catches and he stares at Tony, his eyes wide and his heart pounding and Tony smiles, small and sweet. “I’d do anything for you, honeybear.”

Rhodey pulls him into a hug that feels desperate, and Tony hums, happily, snuggling close, says cheekily, “Is that a yes?”

Rhodey snorts.

~*~

When Rhodey gets orders for his first deployment--not a training mission, not flight school or officer school or any of the myriad of things that have pulled him away before, but a real deployment--Tony has a panic attack that terrifies them both, and leaves them shivering together in Tony’s bed. Rhodey holds him close, pets his hair and promises to come home.

Tony clings and blinks away his tears, and reminds himself--Rhodey has never lied.

Never once.

~*~

“Tony,” Rhodey whispers, and he pauses. He’s hesitant, because it’s been three years since his parents died and they kissed and he fucked up and nothing has changed since then--and everything has changed, since then.

“Tony,” Rhodey breathes, and pulls him into bed, and it’s bittersweet, because the morning looms closer with every passing moment.

But it’s good , too, and with every gentle kiss, every slow thrust and whispered promise, it’s even better.

~*~

“I’ll be home before you know it. You won’t even miss me,” Rhodey promises.

He smiles, and says, “I’ll build you something pretty, ok?”

~*~

The first deployment, Tony finishes the coding and JARVIS is born, better than any of his ‘bots, better than even Tony had hoped, and he thinks--this. This could make the world better.

This could make SI great.

JARVIS and his bots. They're his greatest creation.

~*~

Rhodey adores JARVIS, with the same whole hearted love he gave DUM-E and U and Butterfingers.

He watches Tony like he’s proud, like Tony is brilliant and fascinating and everything he could ever want, and Tony wonders--maybe it’s not about being better than Howard.

Maybe it’s about being good enough for Rhodey.

~*~

“You have to think about it, kid. Stark Industries is waiting for you to get your life together.”

“I don’t want to build weapons, Obie,” he says, earnest and ignores the way Obie’s face goes shuttered and judgmental.

“What do you want to do?”

Tony smiles. “I want to do something great.”

~*~

The board hates the arc reactor. Obie hates it. There is pushback on every level, and Tony hates that but he gets phone calls from Rhodey, scratchy and far away--he needs to work on more reliable communications, he notes absently--and he’s eager to listen, eager to hear what Tony is doing, endlessly supportive, and Tony flushes, brilliant and happy, and it’s enough.

To keep fighting the board, to keep fighting Obie, to keep fighting public opinion.

Rhodey’s voice has been the only one that mattered since he was fourteen.

It’s not going to change now.

~*~

When he is twenty one, the world stops.

It’s not the same kind of cold devastation that Howard and Maria’s deaths was.

This is a fucking bomb going off in his life, tearing through his dreams and his plans, setting every fear he’s ever hidden away alight. And it changes.

He sits next to Rhodey’s bedside, listens to the doctors talk about shrapnel and smart bombs and how lucky his best friend is, and he wants to scream.

He doesn’t.

He waits until they’re alone, when no one can see. He presses a kiss, dry and chaste, to Rhodey’s forehead and whispers, “I promise, this won’t happen again, sweetheart. I’ll make it better.”

~*~

Tony Stark never wanted to make weapons. He loved robots, loved creating, loved figuring out how to make things better. Destroying–that was never his goal.

And then he met Rhodey. Rhodey, who smiled gently and held him safe, and whispered that he could be better.

He fell in love and he was, he was better. He was great.

He never wanted to make weapons. He wanted to build a world that was better.

And then he fell in love and that love was threatened.

~*~

Tony Stark takes control of SI, amid much fanfare and speculation, and Obie’s critical, assessing smile, and in a few short years, he revolutionized the weapons industry.

He makes weapons smarter, stronger, deadlier, and every time he watches his bombs destroying something, he shoves the pain of a dream forgotten down, down, down.

Rhodey is safe.

Rhodey would be safe.

He will burn the world to ash, to keep Rhodey safe.

~*~

Sometimes, when he sits with his bots, and drinks away his guilt and regret, he let's himself miss Rhodey’s small, proud smile and the warmth of his arms.

~*~

He fights his way out of a cave, and out of the desert, and out of the weapons game.

And standing in his workshop in his suit, the love of his life staring at him--he sees it again.

The tiny smile that says-- Tony Stark built something great.

~*~

It takes him a long time, to realize--that smile doesn’t quite mean what he thought it did.

Rhodey whispers it in his ear, one night, and Tony shudders, tears pricking in his eyes, craning for a kiss he’s desperate for.

You are better. You are great .

You are your greatest creation, Tony.

~*~ I had my eyes opened. I came to realize that I had more to offer this world than just making things that blow up.

#tonystarkbingo2019 #arei writes fic #ironhusbands #tony stark #rhodey #tony stark x rhodey

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lalainajanes · 6 years

Text

@thetourguidebarbie and I were complaining about the Polyvore alternatives and I found this truly awful dress on one. Celeb AU fluff was born.

Lookin’ Sharp

She’s exhausted, the consultation she’s walked out of had been a battle, one she’d had to smile through. Caroline’s dealt with difficult people before, had eagerly tackled this latest job. She’d never been one to back down from a challenge but then she’s never met a woman who thought a shapeless shiny mint green caftan was a good look for a Golden Globes after party.

Until today.

She really should have listened to Kat when she’d warned Caroline that socialites were the worst people to style. Caroline had brushed off the words at the time, figuring that her client’s reputation – sweet, agreeable, super committed to using her dad’s money to help ex-cons – would mean she’d be an easy paycheck. She’s mentally listing jewelers who like her, hoping she can find a necklace spectacular enough to distract from the chosen dress’ awfulness. She’s thinking diamonds the size of golf balls might do the trick.

“It’s a lost cause, you know.”

Caroline’s heart lurches when the words ring out, her body tensing. She whirls, dropping the armful of garment bags she’d been lugging out to her car. She hadn’t recognized the voice – she’s never heard Klaus Mikaelson say so many words at once. At least not in real life.

He’s a few paces behind her, hands up and a contrite expression on his distractingly handsome face. “Apologies,” he murmurs.

She relaxes, but not completely. She’s pretty sure Klaus isn’t going to stuff her into a trunk but he’s still a very big deal for a girl trying to make a name for herself in Hollywood. Caroline presses a hand over her chest, takes a deep breath. “You scared me. Do they teach you how to walk like a sneaky ghost when you sign up to play a superhero or something?”

He smiles, “I wasn’t making an effort to be silent. Perhaps you were just preoccupied?”

That’s possible. The fitting she’d just left had not gone well. A client who flat out refused to listen to sense, who appeared to see something vastly different than Caroline did when she looked in a mirror, was proving to be really freaking frustrating.

But she couldn’t exactly tell the client’s boyfriend that, could she?

She pastes on a sunny smile, “Well, award’s season’s just about to go into full swing. I have a lot on my plate. I’m sure you’re very busy too.”

Caroline hopes that’s a subtle enough hint. She’s curious about why he’s followed her out, hadn’t been lying about having an extensive to do list. She’s positive she hadn’t forgotten anything, that the four trips between condo and parking garage haven’t been in vain. She can’t exactly go making demands though, not from a guy whose next movie is projected to have a 100 million dollar opening weekend.

“Not for a few weeks yet,” Klaus says, crouching to gather her scattered things. Caroline hurriedly follows, brushing off the pebbles and dust from the bags he hands her. “I’m just supposed to smile for the cameras and look pretty. Make people forget about the… incident in Las Vegas.”

She chances a glance at him, unsure of how to react to that statement. She’d never have thought he’d make such a direct reference.

Caroline knew there’s no way she’d be able to be blasé if photos of her naked body had been splashed all over the internet. Then again, she’d never play strip poker with total strangers.

It hadn’t quite been a full frontal shot - Klaus had been lucky, and a champagne bottle had been left on an end table - saving the pics from being fully NC-17. Had circumstances been different they might not have even caused a stir. Klaus Mikaelson’s resume had a couple of racy film and TV appearances from before he’d left England on it, not that Caroline had googled him.

Okay, fine. She hadn’t googled him recently. And she definitely hasn’t watched the compilation of all his sex scenes on YouTube since she’d met him in person.

Unfortunately for Klaus (and really unfortunately for his publicists) the timing of the photos of his drunken debauchery leaking couldn’t have come at a worse time.

He’d been voicing a character in an animated feature when they’d come out, a gruff but loveable lone wolf who learned about the power of friendship. That, plus a superhero blockbuster on deck, meant he had to appeal to the broadest audience possible.

The pictures were the opposite of wholesome, damage control was necessary. He’d been volunteering with soup kitchens, had adopted a rescue dog. Had gone public with a relationship, one with a textbook good girl, and had been seen holding hands and getting fro-yo and generally being snuggly.

In public, at least. In private, from what Caroline’s observed, the relationship isn’t the warmest. Klaus has usually been in the background, glued to his phone and making noncommittal grunts when asked for an opinion.

Caroline’s not sure how to address the Vegas incident without putting her foot in her mouth so she decides to go back to his original statement. She straightens, folding the stack of dresses over her arm, “What did you mean about a lost cause?”

He’s edged closer when he stands. She keeps her eyes trained on his face, not on the way the fine weave of his shirt clings to his shoulders. “Just that your work’s not going to end up on any best dressed lists. You’ve tried to steer her towards flattering and age appropriate but she’s remarkably convinced her perspective is the right one. It’s not just clothes, if it’s any consolation. It’s everything.”

Wow. It certainly seemed like there was trouble in paradise. Caroline does her best to be diplomatic, “Personal style is a funny thing, I guess.”

He grins, head tipping to the side, “That’s an impressive non-answer. My publicist would be proud.”

“It’s a gossipy industry. Badmouthing clients is going to lead to fewer opportunities not more.”

His eyes sharpen, “Ah, speaking of opportunities, I’d wondered if you might do me a favor.”

A favor? That seems suspicious. “What kind?”

He laughs softly, “Nothing nefarious, love. I’d merely like a ride.”

“A ride?” she repeats, eyes shifting over to the black SUV she knows belongs to Klaus.

“In your backseat. Covered in a few of the bags you brought with you. Passed the paparazzi that are staked out on this block. They need to think I’ve spent the night, you see. And I’d really rather not.”

This conversation just got weirder and weirder. “Did you… I mean, it’s not any of my business if you guys are fighting but maybe talking it out would be better than fleeing?”

He looks at her as if she’s said something crazy. “We don’t talk. Well, no more than necessary.”

“Sounds like a healthy relationship,” Caroline quips. Her eyes widen and her teeth snap shut in horror. Had she seriously just said that? She’s so freaking fired.

Klaus surprises her though. He laughs again, louder this time, the sound echoing off the concrete walls around them. She’s confused, and frozen, unwilling to say anything that might make things even worse. When he calms he shifts closer, relieving her of some of the bags. “We’re not in a relationship, sweetheart. Not really. It’s a contract. A mutually beneficial agreement. I raise her profile, she makes me look like a fine upstanding citizen. Everybody wins.”

Huh. While Caroline knows those kind of arrangements happen, at least intellectually, she’d never expected to be a party to one. “That sounds…”

“Awkward?” Klaus supplies, “tedious? I can assure you it’s both. We’ll have an amicable breakup in April, pledge to stay friends. I’ll be done with press and can disappear for a bit.”

A thought occurs to Caroline, one that she doesn’t like. “Wait, did you fake adopt a dog too? Because that’s not cool.” She’d seen snaps of him walking the dog, some kind of Labrador mutt, and it’s really freaking cute.

“No, Munch was legally and truly adopted. He’s likely being given too many treats by my assistant as we speak.

Caroline nods sharply, satisfied, and fishes out her keys so she can pop the trunk of her car. “Good. If you were a faking a dog adoption I’d have to assume you’re a garbage person and I would not let you in my backseat.”

“Big fan of dogs, are you?”

“In theory, yes. Not in practice just yet.”

She begins loading up, carefully arranging things for maximum space use. She feels Klaus watching her carefully but she focuses on her task. Now that she knows he’s single the little devil on her shoulder is urging her to flirt. Whispering that the worst thing that would happen is that he wouldn’t reciprocate.

And if he did? Well, Caroline wouldn’t mind seeing him naked again. Would be seriously onboard with touching him while he was naked.

“Perhaps you’d like to meet him? You could come in for a bit once you’ve dropped me off?” he asks.

Caroline rears back, nearly hitting her head on the open trunk.

Klaus makes a soft noise, concerned, and his palm brushes over the back of her head, lowering to settle on her shoulder. “Careful. No need to injure yourself. I’d much rather we have dinner than take a trip to the emergency room.”

Maybe she had hit her head. “Dinner?” she parrots. “Like, together?”

He nods, a smile curling his lips. His thumb strokes her neck, an absent gesture that’s unfairly distracting. “You, me, the dog begging for crumbs. We’re working on it but his manners aren’t the best just yet. If that goes well I hope you’ll agree to do it again sometime.”

Clearly, Caroline hadn’t needed to talk herself out of flirting. Klaus didn’t share her qualms. Unless this was another step in his image rehab. She shifts back until he’s no longer touching her, crossing her arms. “Is this another contract kind of thing? Dating someone who’s not super rich so you seem down to earth?”

Klaus denial is immediate, “No, nothing like that. I’ve just spent an awful lot of time studying your face, wondering at the comments you’ve been holding back. Your face is remarkably easy to read when you’re frustrated.”

Whoops. Caroline makes a note to work on that. Her clients were a self-absorbed group but it’s possibly someone would notice her inner screaming at some point and she couldn’t have that. At least not until she’s more established. “I suppose I could eat,” Caroline says slowly.

Klaus expression warms, his pleasure evident. “Lovely. Just let me program my address into your phone.”

Caroline hands it over willingly, doesn’t shy away from the brush of his fingers against hers, letting her body brush against his more than necessary as she returns to packing up.

Half-assing things isn’t in her nature. If Caroline’s going to flirt (and oh boy is she ever) she’s going to do it right.

#klaroline #klaroline drabbles #a break from all the smut

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