Here you go, @firstdragonlady , comedic book-Hayffie (including a goose) because that's how they work best for me:
I think Haymitch would enjoy introducing his feathery friend to his feathery lady. 😂
Bonus: And for an extra dose of snarky Haymitch, I love the idea that he names his geese after some variation of Effie:
“That right there is Effily. Silly little thing. Then there’s Effina and over there is the great Ephigenia. She’s the loudest one, always making noises. I can’t get her to shut up for just five minutes.”
Effie … is not flattered. 😂🪿
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What you had with him was a little wild, a lot of reckless. Both of you so young, only starting to figure out what you want in your life and how to achieve it. And your goals were so very much on opposite ends of the scale.
Both of you ambitious, both dedicated, but when you searched for light, he craved to rule the darkness.
He started as an errand boy, then earned himself the right to carry a gun and be a driver on certain jobs. And you tried to convince him (and yourself) that you were appalled, that you didn't get a tad wetter when he came to you late in the night and fucked you on a rush of adrenaline.
As predicted, your paths parted. You were off to get your degrees and secure yourself a solid, respectable job. What he did, if he even survived the dangers of the underworld he chose, you had no idea.
Time passed and your memories of him faded in a locked chest of your memory; even if sometimes your body seized with longing as another of your boyfriends couldn't deliver the thrill he used to give you.
Until almost fifteen years later, when a friend of yours scored invites to an elite, invitation-only nightclub in the city. You never expected him to be there. You had no idea he owned the place. No idea he now owned the whole city.
No idea he was going to own you, too.
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Ta taaaaa: pew pew 💘
#me 🕺🏼 #fuckitforfun 🤪
Wʜᴏ’s ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴄᴋɪɴ‘ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏᴏʀ?
Wʜᴀᴛ ʏᴀ ᴛʀʏɪɴ‘ ᴛᴏ ʙᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ?
Dᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ɴᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ sᴇʟʟɪɴ‘
I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ʀᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʀᴇ
Sᴏ ᴍʏ 44 ᴍᴀɢs, ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴜᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴇʟᴏɴ
Lᴀsᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ᴍʏ ɴᴇɪɢʜʙᴏʀs
Gᴏᴛ ʜᴇʟᴅ ᴜᴘ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀᴘᴇʀ
Bᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴘᴏs ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ
Tʜᴇʏ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴʏ ғᴀᴠᴏʀs
Sᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘʀᴀʏᴇʀs
Sᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ ʟᴀʏᴇʀs
Sᴏᴍᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ
Hᴀ ʜᴀ ʜᴀ
Tʜɪs ᴀғᴛᴇʀɴᴏᴏɴ ɢᴏᴛ ᴄᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ᴜᴘ ᴀᴛ ᴀ ʀᴇᴅ ʟɪɢʜᴛ
Iɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪɴᴇ ᴏғ sɪɢʜᴛ
Oғ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀғᴜᴄᴋᴇʀs ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɴɪɢʜᴛ
Sᴇᴇᴍs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ
Pᴜʟʟɪɴ‘ ᴏᴜᴛ ʜɪs ʟɪғᴇ ʟɪɴᴇ
Aɴʏᴛɪᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜʀᴇᴀᴛᴇɴ ᴍɪɴᴇ
Gᴏɴɴᴀ ʙᴇ ᴀ ғɪɢʜᴛ, ʏᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ
Sᴇᴇ I’ᴍ ɴᴜᴍʙ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴ‘
Fᴏʀ ᴀ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ᴍʏ ғɪɴɢᴇʀ
Tᴏ ʙᴇ sǫᴜᴇᴇᴢɪɴ‘ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ
Dᴏ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴋɪʟʟɪɴ‘ sᴇᴀsᴏɴ
Oɴᴇ ɢᴜɴ, ᴛᴡᴏ ɢᴜɴ, ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ɢᴜɴs, ғᴏᴜʀ
Sᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ ɢᴜɴs ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴏɴ ʀᴜɴɴɪɴ‘ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴏʀᴇ
Pᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Yᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴏɴ sᴛᴇᴘᴘɪɴ‘
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ, ʜᴀ ʜᴀ ʜᴀ ʜᴀ
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Yᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴏɴ sᴛᴇᴘᴘɪɴ‘
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ, ʜᴀ ʜᴀ ʜᴀ
Wʜᴏ’s ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴄᴋɪɴ‘ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏᴏʀ?
Wʜᴏ’s ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴄᴋɪɴ‘ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏᴏʀ?
Wʜᴏ’s ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴄᴋɪɴ‘ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏᴏʀ?
Wʜᴏ’s ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴄᴋɪɴ‘ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏᴏʀ?
Hᴀ ʜᴀ ʜᴀ
Fᴇᴇʟɪɴ‘ ᴍʏ sᴏᴜʟ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴍʏ ʙᴏᴅʏ
Lᴀ ᴅᴇᴇ ᴅᴀ ᴅᴇᴇ
Sᴏᴍᴇʙᴏᴅʏ ɢᴏᴛ ᴍᴇ
I ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʜɪs ɴᴀᴍᴇ
Sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ғɪɢʜᴛɪɴ‘ ᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ
Nᴏ ᴋᴀʀᴀᴛᴇ
Hᴀᴍᴍᴇʀs ᴅʀᴏᴘᴘɪɴ‘
Bᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴘᴏs ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ
Lɪɢʜᴛʜᴇᴀᴅᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I’ᴍ ᴅɪᴢᴢʏ
Mʏ ᴠɪsɪᴏɴ ғᴜᴢᴢʏ
I ɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴ‘
Iᴛ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴀᴍᴇ
I’ᴍ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇʟᴇᴠɪsɪᴏɴ, ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴏғ ᴍᴇ, ᴀsᴋ ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴀs ʜᴇ
‚Cᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ
Tʜᴀᴛ’s ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ‘ ᴘᴏᴘᴏs ᴄᴀᴍᴇ
Pᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Yᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴏɴ sᴛᴇᴘᴘɪɴ‘
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ, ʜᴀ ʜᴀ ʜᴀ ʜᴀ
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Yᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴏɴ sᴛᴇᴘᴘɪɴ‘
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ, ʜᴀ ʜᴀ ʜᴀ
Yᴇᴀʜ, ᴘᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Yᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴏɴ sᴛᴇᴘᴘɪɴ‘
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Pᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Yᴏᴜ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴏɴ sᴛᴇᴘᴘɪɴ‘
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ ɢᴏᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ
Pᴏᴘ, ᴘᴏᴘ, ʜᴀ ʜᴀ ʜᴀ
Wʜᴏ’s ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴄᴋɪɴ‘ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏᴏʀ?
Wʜᴏ’s ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴄᴋɪɴ‘ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏᴏʀ?
Wʜᴏ’s ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴄᴋɪɴ‘ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏᴏʀ?
Wʜᴏ’s ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴄᴋɪɴ‘ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏᴏʀ?
Pop Goes The Weapon by Prophets Of Rage
@frenchpsychiatrymuderedmycnut @edgarmoser 🥹🤣💞 #girlzwanNahavephun
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