#that’s a joke btw

[bigfatbimbo]

silly low effort Sir Pentious x reader headcanons —

I don’t write much for him but I know that you Sir Pentious fans are malnourished and starving so eat the fuck up. Also he’s a silly guy so he fits right in with my silly low effort headcanons series. Let’s start off with the funny shit, this bitch is dramatic as fuck. Like say you bail on hanging out with him to go do something else, even if you actually have to do it. He will literally be so sad you’d think he was dying all over again (hah.) And it’s not even to make you feel bad, he’s just genuinely that sad. ”Oh…yes that’s okay, I suppose. I’ll just sit here and… and wait for you to get back. And think about us together… hanging out.” Like he’s so poutty in such a genuine way it’s actually sad because his eyes got all watery and his mouth curls down in a comedically wavey frowns as he crosses his arms and turns away from you. He’s literally so sensitive in general, actually. Like if you make one single harmless comment about how his hat looks crooked, he’s literally thinking about it for the rest of the day. You will literally catch him adjusting his hat every ten seconds and unconvincingly smiling at you and acting like he’s not that self conscious. More on that, he literally needs a crazy amount of reassurance all the time. Like he lives for your compliments. He’s so easily flustered by them too if you genuinely catch him off guard. Like maybe he’s just talking and you’re looking at him totally adoringly, and he notices and goes “What?” And maybe your like “Your smile is so cute.” He’s literally falling backwards, darting his eyes to the side, and not even trying to hide the way his face flushed. “Oh! My dear, i’m glad you—uhm— feel that way. Well, I have to go! Thank you, um, your smile… as well.” He’s also the clingiest mother fucker in the entire world. Like hats off to him, he should an award or something. It’s not even necessarily that he’s touchy or anything, which he is, though. But really he’s really just always lurking around you. He’s constantly following you around like a lost puppy, wherever you go just trailing closely behind. Whatever you’re doing, shit around the house, errands around town, he’s just happy to be by you. He’s also like a fantastic listener. Like he is processing everything you’re saying, and not even on purpose either. But like weeks from now you’re be talking about something and he’ll link it back to some other thing you literally brought up once. ”Oh that reminds me! Did you ever get your laundry machine fixed, because i’m quite good with mechanics so I could—“ And you interrupt him with like “what the fuck? I brought that up like one time a few weeks ago?” And he kinda just blushes and shrugs because honestly he’s not even trying to attain this much information about you, he just likes hearing your voice and in return pays special attention to everything you say. He likes hugs and cuddling so much but he’s so shy about asking for it! I see him as a big spoon or a little spoon, to be honest. Like big spoon because by nature, he’s such a giver. Absolutely anything to make himself useful is a must. So sheltering you and making you feel safe is his first priority. But when you spoon him?? He probably cries. Actually no, he actually cries. Because he is so not used to feeling wanted or deserving of love Vox i’m looking at you, you piece of shit it’s all your fault so when you just wrap your arms around him and pull him close, he can’t contain himself! All because you’re actively showing that you want him and love him, he’s tearing up and mumbling ‘thank you’s. I’m sorry but Sir Pentious would literally treat you so good too. Like he’ll do actually anything for you. Your laundry needs done? He’s on it. Your hungry? He’ll just slither to the store for your favorite snacks. Your back hurts? Have a massage. He lives to please. Especially with you.

a/n — @chronically1online YEAH THATS RIGHT BITCH I DID THIS ONE FIRST. PFF. SHOWS YOU! WHATS UP?? WHATS UP NOW??? 😤😤

#that’s a joke btw #much love brother #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #inbox open #hazbin hotel fluff #sir pentious x reader #sir pentious x you #sir pentious fluff #hazbin hotel sir pentious #sir pentious #silly low effort headcanons

[themoonwithoutmoths]

just because alastor is asexual doesn’t mean he’s not sexy and i’ll continue thinking so. thank you :)

#i don’t want him sexually #i just want him #hazbin hotel #alastor #also i’m ace so im allowed to make this post #that’s a joke btw #asexuality is a spectrum #so like #however you interpret his asexuality is #up to you

[angrylesbianstereotype]

i love your analysis of walt and jesses relationship i think its such an interesting perspective that deserves more recongition and i would love to hear more

Thank you @daffodilskin!! Luckily for you I could literally go on forever.

Recap! Walter loves Jesse more than his wife and more than his kids. He would die and kill for Jesse, he does die and kill for Jesse, but the reason this damns Jesse rather than insuring his immunity to the Heisenberg persona is because it is a selfish narcissist’s kinda lovin’ that parallels Walter’s infatuation with money and power as much as it does his relationships with the people he purports to love more than anything. A worshipful student who takes his family man schtick at face value, is acquainted with and initially unphased by his darker tendencies (but not so well acquainted as to perceive any red flags or, heaven forbid, vulnerabilities) and can be cut down with a word if he gets too uppity is the perfect fount of narcissistic supply.

Walter’s relationship with Jesse is not only toxic but parasitic, even vampiric. He is beyond envious of Jesse’s youth and the possibilities that it enables (“You’re really lucky, you know that? You don’t have to wait your whole life to do something special.”) and takes it upon himself to chip away at those possibilities under the guise of just doing what’s best for Jesse, offended by Jesse’s idleness and that Jesse is wasting that time not doing exactly what Walter would do differently in his own youth (being aggressively heedless of consequences in the name of blind ambition, rather than being aggressively heedless of consequences in the name of just being really insecure) because Jesse can’t possibly be trusted to think for himself and make his own mistakes. Walter needs to make them for him! By the latter half of s5, Jesse has had all the youthful vibrancy and innocence sapped out of him, and Walter is bloated with ego and sated with bloodlust. Walter might be the one out of remission, but Jesse is the dead man walking.

This is where the infatuation begins to fade. It’s not just that Walter has drained Jesse to the point where Jesse is no longer a viable source of narcissistic supply, although that’s part of it. It’s also that Jesse knows who he’s dealing with now, and Walter can’t reassure himself of his own righteousness just by appealing to Jesse’s naivety. Walt is a monster in Jesse’s eyes. Even before he learns that Jesse “betrayed” him, Walter can with minimal waffling bring himself to reluctantly, but not that reluctantly, order a hit on his former partner, because his love for Jesse as a person is just a fickle afterthought to his love for Jesse as an exhaustible resource.

Then again, freeing Jesse from the Nazis was Walter’s one and only act of selfless love in the entire series.

#walter i squish you like the mosquito you are #in conclusion they are soooo twilight coded #that’s a joke btw #breaking bad #brba #el camino #jesse pinkman #anti walter white #walter white hate blog #waltjesse?? ig

[olivers-cocoapuffs]

Evan: how would you describe me

Barty: never shuts up

Evan: nah never shuts up is you, mate

James: my little short king

#When I’m up on murder charges yk who to look for #That’s a joke btw #shes my favourite ex I would never #barty crouch jr #evan rosier #james potter #the slytherin skittles #darksun #rosekiller #rosechaser #barty x evan x james #the marauders #marauders era

[outrunningthedark]

@anon I accidentally deleted your ask, but Ryan not back to set today is…understandable? Because even though the 118 will be involved in the premiere, Bathena on the cruise is the major plot. (We’re gonna have to know what preceded the disaster.) I’m guessing Aisha and Oliver aren’t back yet, either. Maybe Kenny, too, if it’s not a Madney day. Oliver, in particular, doesn’t appear to be in work mode if he’s more focused on channeling his inner emo.

#he finally leave the gf for good or something? what fabulous timing #that’s a joke btw #anonymous #tina speaks

[bandsanitizer]

ateez showing off their rings in those photos like they just got engaged or something

#lbr if you signed up for a kpop group and make it to debut it’s marriage #that’s a joke btw #alison speaks? #ateez

[warrior-cats-junk]

I just heard my bf trying to talk about a dinosaur and I kept telling him names and after 15 minutes he yelled “THE LOCH NESS MONSTER” and I just replied “you’re a disappointment.”

Sir. How…How do you make that mistake? I was showing you a Elasmosaurus??? AND YOU TOOK 15 MINUTES TO SAY THE LOCH NESS MONSTER???

#not warrior cats #the loch ness monster #my bf is stupid #no he’s not #that’s a joke btw #he’s just a silly guy WHO FORGETS THE LOCH NESS MONSTER #and he’s currently trying to blow away a bug with a mini vacuum #crying noises #btw that’s how we talk

[antvnger]

I don't see the fun in people throwing eggs, rocks, etc to vehicles, people and buildings today.

Like, what's their problem? Halloween isn't about that. Ughhh, it just shows how badly educated they are. This night i was afraid to pick the public bus, and i really shouldn't be. Thank god i made it safe

I’m glad you made it safe too! Yeah, thank God. I don’t know why people do that sorta stuff too. You can still have good, mischievous fun on Halloween without doing something harmful like that.

#ask scott lang #scott lang #ant-man #indoraptorgirlwind #vandalism is not ok #unless it’s a Bentley in the pool #that’s a joke btw #guys please don’t do that #ant man #antman

[gumpasgarage]

Bro was so happy for what 🤨

#like damn #what’d the music club do to this dude #I’d bully him #that’s a joke btw #my school president #my school president the series #msp ep 8 #chinzhilla #aun napat

[hyunpic]

once in a while i remember i made this wooden hyunjin jesus icon

#his face is a bit ripped ig my prayers to him are too powerful 😕 #that’s a joke btw #mp

[jasontoddsgaythoughts]

Friendly reminder that cass is younger than jason in the current earth which imo is great. Middle child Cass supremacy

Wait, really? When did this happen? I thought they were only a few months apart, with Cass being slightly older.

Either way in my little coconut head of delusion they are the same age, and try to pass off as each other even with their physical differences.

#that’s a joke btw #I truly thought cass was older but I still haven’t read many comics yet #so sorry if I got it wrong #either way she should still be an outlaw as a joke

[flynnt-and-steel]

Feminism

#that’s a joke btw #just been modifying some of gearshouts armor mashups to the style of practical female armory #their armors are great but I want practical looking armor for women so #ignore the fact that the modified elven armor doesn’t have shoulders it has another variant that does #screenshots taken in nifskope #actual modifications done in blender #Skyrim #skyrim modding #skyrim mods

[national-hockey-lesbian]

well. graduation was a let down.

#i need a nap and like a gallon of vodka #and my bodies weight in horse tranquilizer #that’s a joke btw #who knew large crowds + lots of standing/walking + family members i hate #would upset my autistic and disabled ass #i didn’t even get to say a final goodbye to my school mom #it wasn’t terrible but it was lame and i’m tired and a little sad #on to college i suppose lol

[7yearsofdele]

Good, they got away clean. Knew it.

#they respect each other it’s fine #George just doesn’t respect anyone else #that’s a joke btw #formula 1 #f1

[artidoesthings]

Terraria summoner is fun

#terraria #summoner is fun but thinking abt it compared to the other classes… #makes me so mad honestly #(learns how to make a mod that improves summoner out of pure spite #that’s a joke btw

[linecoveredinjellyfish]

normalize sexualizing that old woman without having mommy issues. maybe i don't want to be her pet because i'm traumatized. maybe i want to be her pet because she's hot. you ever think of that.

#this is phrased as a joke but it's at least half serious btw #kinda insulting to imply that a person could only possibly be attracted to someone because of some deep seated-trauma #kinda presumptuous and weird #sometimes older people are just hot #it speaks!