#that's about the most you can do y'know?

[explodingstarlight]

lil sunspot <3

#just a lil guy who cares about his family a whole lot #and can throw skyscrapers #y'know as you do #doodled him while waiting for the oven to preheat for my frozen crab rangoons #he's very important and special to me #also it's growing incredibly obvious who i enjoy drawing the most out of the turtles HELp #promise the mug is coming along btw it's still clinging to the back of my mind #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #my art #explodingstar art #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt fanart #rise mikey #rottmnt mikey #rise michaelangelo #tmnt michaelangelo #tmnt #tc3st dni or i will break your kneecaps

[shih-coulda-had-it]

teenage menaces

wc: ~850; context: set a few months into the last year of Aldera, Toshinori baits Bakugou into a fist-fight and they got in trouble with admin. this was mostly me testing out whether or not I could write Bakugou without stepping into the bashing zone. izuku pov.

//

The three of them wait outside the classroom: Kacchan impatiently, Izuku anxiously, and Yagi cheerfully.

“Yagi-san, what if you get expelled?” Izuku hisses, weaving his fingers together to stop them from twitching.

“Then I’ll get homeschooled? Honestly, Midoriya-kun!” He laughs under his breath, grinning way too big for a boy who got in trouble for beating up the star pupil of Aldera. Kacchan—looks small, next to him. Small and furious, like he doesn’t know the right way to get Yagi to shut up and sit down. Izuku prays that Kacchan never finds out that Yagi is actually All Might. Something might really break.

“Shut the hell up,” Kacchan snarls. “I can’t hear what they’re saying.”

“Ah, if I know my old man…”

“I told you to shut up!”

“You don’t want to place a bet on it, Bakugou-shonen?”

“WHO ARE YOU CALLING ‘YOUNG’?!”

The door swings open to reveal a pale-faced principal and a deeply unimpressed Gran Torino. The latter is out of uniform, but the clean-cut fashion of the button-up and slacks does an effective job at communicating Torino’s professionalism. He swipes the end of his cane at Yagi’s ankle, and Yagi yelps and jumps in surprise.

“Who are you calling ‘old man’?” Torino snaps.

“Sorry,” Yagi says unapologetically. “What’s gonna happen, jii-san?”

“You’re suspended for three days,” the old man announces, and because Yagi looks delighted at not having to attend school, meaning Kacchan looks furious at this apparent light sentence, the principal valiantly steps in.

“You’ll obviously have assignments over this period, to reflect on your actions. And Bakugou-kun must have an apology made to him.”

“I don’t want his stupid apology!” Kacchan spits.

“Fujita-san,” says Torino, “I believe I told you what was going to happen. I’ll get the parents’ permission. They might even be happy about seeing their son in action, if the boy wants to be a hero. Just get me two teachers.”

“Torino-san, this is a deeply improper way to handle the situation—!”

“The entire way you’re running your school is improper,” he drawls. “Don’t worry, it’s not an issue unique to your administration. I know what I’m doing, and I know my boy. He won’t be the one hitting below the belt.”

Izuku connects the dots faster than either Kacchan or Yagi. He blurts out, “Are you having them fight?”, and two blond heads whip around to stare (or glare) him down, then back at each other. Yagi’s grin widens. 

Torino says mildly, “In martial arts classes, they call it a spar. Clears the head, knowing the hierarchy… of who’s better.”

The principal’s distress is palpable. “It’s not legal,” he protests.

“I’d win,” Kacchan declares, bristling. Izuku bites his tongue to stop himself from trying to intervene. This is not a fair fight that Torino is setting up; however Quirkless Yagi is, he hasn’t lost the experience of his time as All Might, and with all the training that Torino’s put them through, his muscle memory and reflexes are sharp. Just because Torino is promising to get parental and teacher supervision—god, it’s a whole trap. Kacchan can’t beat Yagi unless Yagi overestimates him. It would take a legitimate miracle for Yagi to lose.

“I don’t know, jii-san,” Yagi says playfully. “Isn’t that a little mean to Bakugou-kun? He won’t be able to use his Quirk in the fight.” Unlike today, his smile says. 

“You need a Quirk to punch someone down?” Torino responds, and he rolls his eyes at Yagi’s tone. “That’s when you cross into villain territory. No. This is going to be good old-fashioned fisticuffs.”

Does Kacchan sense it? He must. He’s never been an idiot. The way his eyes dart down to Torino, assessing, attempting to reassess the old man’s threat level, to so casually propose arranging a fight between two fifteen year olds—Kacchan knows the shape of the trap, then. It just depends on whether he believes he can win.

And Kacchan, Izuku knows, believes in winning.

“Midoriya-kun,” the principal suddenly says, and Izuku flinches at the sheer hope in the man’s tone. “You’ve known Bakugou-kun for a long time. Did he start the fight?” 

The weight of all their eyes is overwhelming. His loyalty is being torn two ways, and he doesn’t know who to save. If he stops this fight, and denies Kacchan the chance to show off his skills and heart, Kacchan will hate him. If he stops this fight, and affirms that Yagi threw the first punch, then—All Might won’t hate him. The wry twist to Yagi’s smile is basically a blessing to disavow his fellow Quirkless classmate.

But Izuku doesn’t want to disappoint All Might, or even Gran Torino.

He trembles, breathes shakily, and says, “Kacchan would never miss a fight he couldn’t win,” and in the time his audience takes to process, Izuku quite deliberately sides with Yagi. Not hiding. Standing elbow to elbow, in solidarity.

Kacchan’s face twists. “Deku,” he hisses.

“Focus, boy,” Torino says, and his cane clacks against the linoleum flooring. “Your fight’s with Toshinori. That is, if your parents agree to supervise.”

“What if they’re too busy?” 

“We’ll find a time.”

#bnha #deaged at dagobah au #yagi toshinori #all might #midoriya izuku #deku #bakugou katsuki #dynamight #torino sorahiko #gran torino #shih's art #shih.txt #you may not have caught on because i try my best not to talk about it but #i don't like bakugou #and i really don't like pre kamino ward bakugou #so like. how do i write him without bashing #anyways. i might scrap this bit because i don't think even old man torino can get away #arranging a fist fight between two teenagers #at least. not the way i've presented it here #if anything old man torino would let them fight it out in his apartment building #'y'know most fights happen in urban areas and close quarters. might as well duke it out up here.' #but then i imagine toshinori might accidentally brain bakugou with a frying pan and that's simply too cracky even for me

[michyeosseo]

Do you know why she is honored as goddess? Bedridden for a long time due to her incomplete celestial roots... a deity everyone thought could not be saved... Lord Xingzhi came to take to the Extranatural Heaven. And cured her. Therefore, the Divine Realm's Heavenly Lord gave her a title: Luotian Goddess – blessings from the sky. The girl blessed by the [ancient] gods.

Li Jia Qi as YOULAN

THE LEGEND OF SHEN LI (2024) 1.17-1.19

#cdramaedit #cdrama #the legend of shen li #li jia qi #jackie li #与凤行 #theverylasttofu #took until week two but our girlie lamu came to spice the party ahhhhhhh welcome home baby #that cfensi round-up that one year kinda pointed out a unique talent out of her infinite charms: #can convincingly imitate a medieval painting #idk the specifics but whatever was reworked with her soul made her keen to the three realms' worth of situationship #or truth intuition is her goddess power to begin with *shrugs* #had a preface... excited even about comedy showcase aka her one-sided love rivalry negl i believe in you girls! #youlan's ~attitude~ + quick temper? give the sweetie actual similar friends and not some simps that only revere her being healed #i do believe she'll come around re: misplaced attachments. a bit frightful by way of millenia coma but y'know #let peachkins live and do the cultivation thingy #(did i mishear furongjun - brother appeases sister with 'huang jie'? that's their most normal display rofl) #that said i thought the immortal troops were big gossips but the divine denizens are slowpoke sanctimonious giant snails #and if this was all heaven edition of pass-the-message #they're definitely losing #but it's ok youlan you still and will always be my bébé

[sysig]

He was a human pirate, which you wouldn’t think you’d have to specify and yet (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #ZEX #The Captain #This isn't even a sci-fi pirate adventure anymore this is just straight up human pirates lol #How many layers deep can we go until it's unrecognizable! Next up is Pirate AU!Helix! (Kidding. For now) Lol #There is something funny about it all to me as well considering how in-line it fits with the research I was doing for a Vargas fic concept #All these bodice-rippers coming home to roost lol ♪ #Which is also interesting 'cause I hadn't thought about this particular fic from that perspective before but it also fits! It works well! #Yet another angle to approach it from on a reread haha ♫ #ANYway lol - human!Pirate!SCII specifically finally lol #I do love just how openly attracted the Captain is to ZEX as a human haha - his attraction/disgust to VUX-ZEX is wonderful of course #It's just so silly and cute how honest he is when ZEX is in a body that he's aesthetically attracted to haha #And ZEX recognizing and utilizing that! But it still not quite tipping him over to being completely sold on the whole kidnapping thing lol #''I don't understand it! I look beautiful and I /know/ he's attracted to me! What could be stopping him from sleeping with me???" lol #Keep trying ZEX I'm sure you'll get it at some point haha #Finishing off with an idea of ZEX having to deal with a hostile and still not quite trusting the Captain not to run away #Or risk him getting hurt! ZEX can handle this! Let him protect you! #But the Captain also wants to help! And/or escape y'know whatever's most convenient haha #He's proud <3 And he does have an affinity with ZEX at this point - he knows he can be useful! But that's not what's most important to ZEX #Also being scolded and blushing a bit hehe ♪ Given just a bit of pause to be told by such a pretty face to ''Behave'' ♫ #I do really like ZEX with the coat and braids hehe <3 Handsome

[katierosefun]

okay so now that i’ve officially finished watching leverage i just want to say that maybe i’m obsessed with this show on multiple levels and something about how it hits so many itches in that it’s about found family and it’s about fucking over bad, rich guys (no billionaire bootlicking in this show! and i fucking love it) and it’s also about how sometimes the bad guys are the only good guys you get and it’s also about how we are all stronger together it’s about how at the start of this show, we have all of these characters who are largely used to working alone and being alone and yet the show concludes that ultimately, we are better when we are together and by being together, we might be able to leave something behind that is bigger and brighter for the next people in our generation and no man is an island and no person is meant to beat goliath on their own or whatever

#caroline talks #leverage #not to be like. emotional but. #i am emotional actually! #i'm just. i get emotional thinking about all of the characters #and just how complex they are #nate with his alcoholism and his rage against the world and how he's arrogant and angry and sad and yet i think he cares so much #he cares so much about his team even if he can be a bit of an ass #sophie who adopts a million personas at the blink of an eye and yet has her own loneliness about who actually knows her #parker who keeps herself closed off bc y'know trauma in the foster care system and yet she learns to express herself and trust people #eliot who resigns himself into thinking that he's a monster and yet he starts to do some good and just. winds up protecting everyone in his #new family which. MAN i can't express enough how much that storyline means to me too #like when is a monster not a monster? / oh when you love it or whatever #and then there's hardison who's so incredibly bright and warm and can talk his way out of most situations #and then he hits a wall when all that brightness and wit and intelligence still might not get him out of a scary situation #and that's. that's when he needs people too. that's when he needs his team #and like. there are so many important points in this show #but like one of the ones i like to think about. #is just like. that you could be incredibly good at whatever it is you do #but you need people. you need a team. you need to trust others and together you can do amazing things #individually they're great #but together they're unstoppable and i think about that a lot #no man is an island and it takes a village or whatever! #also unrelated but i also find it a little funny (i'm sorry) that i finished leverage literally the night the implosion news came out

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

"-the real end for me was Ostagar. What about you, Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar?"

"No."

"All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother."

Yes, Aveline, Carver's a tit because he doesn't feel the same way as you do about Ostagar and being forced to flee his homeland, nor does he want to casually discuss the trauma of it in the middle of the barracks with you. Right, he's definitely the ass here 😑

#da2 #dragon age 2 #dragon age #carver hawke #aveline vallen #i have so much beef with aveline it's no longer funny it's just maddening #especially when it comes to her and carver like don't even get me started on the whole guard application thing okay i *will* scream #it's not wonder carver doesn't like talking to most of the other companions or why he comes off so hostile when they talk to him #he gave aveline a simple answer and she's just like 'hey hawke your brother's a bit of a tit' like what did he do to you??? #and it sucks because aveline's literally the only other person carver could relate to about ostagar but she's so... Like That y'know? #i need a dedicated 'defend carver' button that hawke can hit at all times because there are so few opportunities to do so #and yeah i know carver can be an ass but that's my brother okay

[tswwwit]

I would love, even if its just its just brief summaries, to know the different thoughts going through bills head throughout the last smut. (mainly when he got the text and when dipper starts just blurting out thoughts and ideas bc i think those moments would be fun to see)

Imagine you're having the shittiest day at work. You're gritting your teeth and hanging onto it by your fingernails, knowing that eventually dealing with this absolutely idiotic, waffling, overstuffed, condescending dipshit of a client will be done with, you'll charge him out the nose for your services - which will probably be, like a hundred dollars, the way this is going! What bullshit. At least afterwards, you can collapse onto the bed and complain to your spouse about it. Which you have been doing, actually, waiting for a decent excuse to bail or check out early.

Then you get a text. And it's your partner saying they got you a brand new console, your favorite pizza - Oh! And a million bucks in untraceable cash - but you might have to kick your shitty client in the nuts so hard his eyes pop out. Does that sound... okay? No pressure or anything.

The reason Bill was a minute later than expected is because even he needed a moment. It was the sheer whiplash from going from Shit to Fucking Amazing.

#answers #Bill went from full on eeueuughhh about his day to practically having hearts floating around him #Perhaps literally depending on the magic situation in the place he was in #In my head Bill was 'hired' by a (shitty) villain and he got out of it by doing a quick betrayal and demanding to be cast out by the 'heros #“I Got THIS to get back to!! You think I wanna keep him waiting???” #He already hovers in his normal triangle form but this man was practically floating with delight heading back to Dipper #A graph of Bill's mood would start out super low then spike sharply at the pic #It then stays super high up with more spikes during all the shenanigans #After the smut they likely get cleaned up. Cuddle. And talk shit about idiots they've had to deal with #Bill Cipher has gone from doing his evil deeds and playing piano to an empty bedroom while raiding his own bar for distraction #To coming home to someone who'll listen to him bitch about his day and absolutely bicker with him about it #Calling him the worst thing in the universe. A scourge upon reality. #The most clever awful bastard. How *dare* he be handsome that's a crime -and frankly Dipper basically did it for him so he can't take credi #And sometimes even saying 'yeah you didn't *entirely* deserve to be screwed over that way. I could have done that *way* better.' #While Bill rests his head in his lap. Having someone listen to him ramble while he gets his hair played with. Lots of really good kisses #Warm. Close. Grossly domestic. But hey! Even *sex* can seem gross if you phrase it weird and *that's* a normal demonic pleasure #Sometimes fun things are just fuckin' FUN y'know?? Even if this one seems weird to other demons #It's. Nice. REALLY nice. #There's absolute no goddamn way he's going back to NOT having this #Even death won't pry it out of his greedy little mitts

[camellcat]

all this art, yet I've never shown off the character that's in my pfp. thought that was silly so here's my persona to rectify that (her name is dogcam and she's literally just me with dog ears and no glasses)

#her pronouns are strictly she/her btw. mine aren't but hers are #she was made to be my heartbreak before she just turned into my main persona lol #idk why my hurt is distinctly feminine but it is ig #I don't think anyone is even curious about this but y'know #the thing I draw most often is myself so I might as well share some of it #u guys are so lucky I don't write more. can you even read that? if nothing else my handwriting is certainly interesting to look at #artsona #my persona #persona art #ehh how do u tag non-fandom stuff? #my art: oil paint pawsteps 🐾

[wereshrew-admirer]

a little zine about reunions and a letter returned to sender

(mailed out physical copies of these and enjoyed having the excuse to use a wax seal - wouldn't mind doing more! so if you want one you can either fill out this form or print one yourself!)

#chine/duvall #sangfielle finale spoilers (vague) #sangfielle #friends at the table #my art #i thiiink it's been enough time for most of these to get to where they were going #feeling strong feelings today figured it's time to share #sorry if it's insane to continue offering to send physical copies to people i just sincerely enjoy packing something up and sending it #without it being a product i've sold or something #just friendly mail! get to light a fire and drip some wax and feel real fancy #no stress no worrying about time or bad reviews justtttt friendly i love to do it i'll do it indefinitely #i am a simple animal and will take advantage of any serotonin boost i can y'know? #thank you for reading (sincerely)

[ferberus-skull]

pixel cat's end i love you.

flight rising.... you're okay (joking, i love you too)

#gremlin blabs #i do love pce a little bit more tho #fr is... more stressful than pce #there's a lot of things you pretty much HAVE to do #where pce.... you don't really HAVE to do anything #you could go two weeks doing literally nothing at All on there and it'd be Fine. #no penalties. nothing you'd really miss unless snowmelt or leaf day was going on #you can take everything at your own pace and there is no punishment for taking as long as you need #but fr... you have to feed your dragons (i mean you don't HAVE to but. y'know.) #you have to refill your food stocks when they get low/run out #you have to gather so that you don't run out of food #if you don't feed your dragons... you lose out on the bonuses. which ultimately feels like a punishment #but at the end of the day i still love fr #i wouldn't still be here if i didn't/if it was too much #i've never been one to stick with petsites for long #before i joined fr i'd last... maybe a year or so on a petsite #then i'd always end up abandoning it #bc it'd be too much or i'd get too bored #i've been on fr for 7 and a half years. #and pce has been the only other one i've been able to stick with #especially since i have fr to worry about #i kept trying to add another one on but i would end up getting so overwhelmed and stressed #mostly because of the other petsite and not fr #because so many petsites are just.... so stressful tbh. even fr is pretty lax all things considered #compared to like. wolvden or wolfplay... it's so much easier. #with those petsites i never even made it to a year. #but pce is SO chill that i was able to add it no problem #and i have yet to drop it and i don't think i will #ofc it's only been like a year and a half #but still. that's generally longer than most petsites last

[vargaslovinghours]

In case it was ever a question

#💟 #Doodles #Lol #Yes I do in fact still think about Vargas every single day #I'd tell you when that changes but that would still be a Vargas thought wouldn't it lol ♪ So for now situation normal! Nothing to report! #Haha ♫ #It's not always to this level or even this consistent but it does average multiple times a day and especially around sleep #The dreams have mostly completely tapered off but they're a common comfort/come-down from the day :) Reliable thought pattern #And even tho I'm not posting them for the most part outside of sketchdumps/the occasional video/fanfic/etc. etc. #I can tell you they still grab every sixth or so scratch page lol - and that's not counting their hefty backlog! #Plus I don't always doodle my ideas a lot of them go into my notes #Honestly considering a part two of an incorrect quotes post quite a few have built up and even I've forgotten some of them haha #They're silly ♪ #Oh yeah and you'll notice a near-matching uptick in WOY (Wander Over Yonder) :3c Haha wonder what that's about hahaha #And SCII to a similar degree but I don't have anything cheeky to say about that (right now) lol #Also completely off Vargas-topic I think it's really funny how often I forget my bracelet #Obviously didn't here! Got all 'em colours - which is honestly probably /why/ I forget that's a lot of tools for one small detail #But like - I never forget my glasses they are very much ''part of my body'' but I quite often forget my bracelet even tho I wear it way more #I take off my glasses to sleep and shower and the like but my bracelet follows me everywhere! How is it not part of my body just as much! #I guess I have been wearing glasses for longer overall but sequentially! Y'know! Haha

[sysig]

Bitter breakup rivalry (Patreon)

#Doodles #Wander Over Yonder #Emperor Awesome #Commander Peepers #I dunno lol I just wanted to draw Awesome being pathetic and insulting Peepers and maybe immediately regretting it :) #As much as I think their relationship dynamic could go very well I also think it could go very poorly >:3c They have a lot of potential! #Awesome trying to get too close too fast to manipulate him before he's proven a useful asset would basically be a death sentence hehe #Especially if he tried to flex about it - he definitely has physical might over Peepers but honestly I think that'd just piss him off furthe #Like ''You think you can just sling your weight around and intimidate me? Hah! Who do you think I work for?'' #Even with the equivalent of a peashooter I think Peepers could take him on ♪ I mean heck he beat the Potted Plant with just his hat #He's very resourceful! Out of necessity but hey it just means he's practiced! I think he could MacGyver his way out of most confrontations #Plus y'know - Awesome is already kinda pathetic haha ♪ He gets a bruised /ego/ and he goes home what would a smack to his face do #That said he was there for the Battle Royale - I think he's aware of his intimidation factor :) Intimidation is also charisma! Haha #I think a fight between them would be interesting Especially if they brought feelings into it but even just a slugout haha #Awesome's really fun to pose I definitely would've drawn more of him being dramatic if I hadn't run out of room #But I mean so is Peepers! They're so fun to draw ahh <3 Look at his shoe/knee contact! Flat foot on the ground! I'm so pleased! #Only took a very cartoony style to finally get me to work on contact points haha ♪

[dutybcrne]

It’s easy enough to tell just how much something really got to Kaeya based on the air around him. He’s so carefully in control of his own emotions and Vision alike, his true feelings tend to go unnoticed or masked as something else. But if it really threw him or a loop or upset him in some way, a notable change in temperatures ( proportionate to how much he was affected ) is the surest sign, regardless of his poker face.

#hc; kaeya #//You know it's BAD bad if ice actively starts forming on himself/nearby without him noticing or in spite of him trying to keep calm #//But that usually only happened if something's truly threatening a loved one and he can't do a damn thing about it #//Or otherwise brought out of him by certain folks he's attached to. Like a certain claymore user for instance #//If Diluc ever tried to initiate reconciliation abruptly or even began to pry into his business; Kae is deffo bound to freeze something #//And he would sure hope Diluc wouldn't try to grab his shoulder or otherwise touch him unexpectedly; bc he'd give the man HELLA frostburn #//Pyro and Cryo do Not mix well; especially not if he was already stressed to begin with #//Anyone else trying to pry would get a chill in the air; whether bc of annoyance or rising stress #//Though Jean could also get him to freeze smth if she catches him off-guard a lot easier than most #//Especially if it flusters him--he would accidentally make a flurry burst of ice crystals the moment the feeling hits #//She and Diluc are the people he is/was most attached to; so ofc they're the ones who can get the strongest reactions out of him #//Diluc genuinely angry; whether at Kae or someone near; is also v likely to make him freeze the ground or smth he's holding #//Same with Jean; he assumes--he has yet to see her actually angry; but he genuinely Fears how it would go #//And the thought alone makes frost spread #//The traveler is depending on what exactly it is they do. Angry with him; it's a chill. Hurt; chill; maybe some frost depending #//Otherwise he's got a good handle on his emotions around them #//Y'know how in Frozen when Elsa froze her own room & then later in the prison when she froze her cell & shit started breaking? #//Yeah; that was what happened the first sleep after The Confrontation and during his stay at the Winery #//Both bc of Diluc lashing out and bc he was finally able to process Crepus' death #//Mans could not sleep Anywhere without the room ending up sealed in ice #//And only got worse each and every time Diluc's Vision flickered and dimmed #//He is thoroughly convinced the fact that he kept it on his person constantly is the reason he didn't get himself sick or worse #//He felt so awful for the staff and Adelinde especially if it got bad enough that she needed to get him to come out so it all could melt #//Or otherwise pull him out of his spiraling so he didn't actually compromise himself; the structure; or anyone else #//Would always act like she needed him to fetch her something; but he Knew. He Knew; and was mortified each and even time #//It got easier to control as the years went by; especially after/whenever Diluc replied to his letters #//But occasionally a particular nightmare would get him. Sometimes does in present day; but he's quicker to recover than back then #//When Jean got sick; her desk space had frost coating it while he worked. And when he heard she disappeared on Barbara? #//He froze and broke her inkwell; his coffee mug; and several pens #//All of which he replaced and swore Noelle to utmost secrecy

[supercantaloupe]

i wish i had a good excuse to just like go and spend 2-3 days in another city across the country

#sasha speaks #the most i've done on my own is a day trip into nyc #which is fun but you can only do so much in one day esp when your train is close to 3 hours one way #i want just like. two days in atlanta. three days in chicago. three in sanfran. yknow. #hell i'd take two days in nyc or boston that would be fun #i've spent one full day in boston before with my mom and that was great but it was sort of an appendix to a trip with a different primary #purpose (bringing my sister back to her college). i've spent two days in pittsburgh with my mom once too but that was when i was doing #college search myself so like more than half the time was dedicated to touring campuses #i've been to nyc twice Totally on my own once to go to a museum with my beloved mutual and once to take my sister to an embassy #to get a visa for her study abroad trip. my parents were like 'escort her to and from the embassy and then back on the train #and then you can stay the afternoon and do whatever you want. just get a train home in the evening' #which was fun i went to a museum and then did some market and bookstore shopping #but one afternoon does not a Proper trip make yknow #also goes w/o saying i would love to do the same thing for cities in other countries but. y'know. that's More Difficult #and i've seen very little of my own country in the grand scheme of things...i've only been out west twice and i didn't see very much either #time :( san diego when i was like 9 and then crested butte co last summer. which was beautiful and so much fun but also i got covid there s #anyway. shutting up now #i wanna talk about me

[britneyshakespeare]

it is weird being an aromantic asexual who is incidentally attractive. like. i just came back from a concert with my friends who have known me for years and know that about me. some of the very few real-life friends who know that about me actually and i only told them relatively recently. regardless. the only reason i had bothered to bring it up w them is that they had seen me in SO many situations that telling them “i’m asexual” was if anything just clarification. just confirmation, like, don’t worry. it’s not an inability to attach to others or whatever. if you can’t tell. like they’d seen me be pursued by quite a few people in our time as friends and at some point it seems like a curious thing if i only ever seem to feel negatively about anyone who’s attracted to me, ever, no matter who it is. and they were understanding and i knew they’d be. yeah.

we were talking on the way back about bucket list concerts we’d still like to see. we saw stromae which was a really big one of mine (my fucking boy btw, i had an amazing time). i mentioned that i don’t have very many, as i’m rarely the person to be like “yeah, let’s go to a concert” unless i have people i know i wanna go with. like i’ve been meaning to see the jonas brothers w my sister and sisters-in-law ever since they came back because it’d be a fun thing for us since we always listen to them together. 

but i would genuinely love to see super junior someday, like just for myself, wherever whenever if i was just able to get transportation (i don’t drive). i’ve loved suju for years but i got really back into them in 2020 in the pandemic as a sort of nostalgia comfort thing (but also the music they’ve put out in recent years is like, literally the best in their discography, they just keep getting better w age). and i had to go on this tangent to explain it, right?

in the first months of the pandemic, there was something weird happening to people psychologically. some kind of end-of-the-world loneliness. i mentioned that i had like 5 or 6 different people in my DMs at the time interested in me. not all of them men. and the friend who was driving said “you know, diana, if this were literally anyone else talking, i would think that this is some enormous humblebrag—”

and i like. didn’t even think about it that way. i was just trying to make my point that i had a serious thought in 2020 of like, when the world opened back up, just doing one (1) seriously manipulative thing in my life and convince one of those men who was thirsting for me to buy me tickets to super junior and go with me. it was hypothetical. this hasn’t happened and all but certainly will not. i would not feel good taking advantage of someone’s feelings like that. 

but i had to go on a tangent even before that because i was like. oh my goodness. i didn’t even realize that was a humblebrag. i’m sorry. i’m just telling a story.

#the politics of being a pretty young woman #tales from diana #i also wouldn't have felt comfortable telling anyone that anecdote about myself if they had known less about me than my friends i was with #so i guess i wouldn't be in danger of humblebragging. but sometimes i think i do? by mistake. #like when i talk about my social life in the past i always mention no one openly liked me in high school. not one person. #it very much affected how i saw myself. bc bullshit. young girls. male approval. y'know. #but in retrospect now i'm better able to tell when a boy had some kind of crush on me so i might mention it like 'he thought i was cute' #and one time a different friend i had. but one who i have also told im asexual (im trying to do that more) said to me #'you know for how unpopular you say you were in high school it seemed like a lot of ppl liked you' #i mean. yes? it's complicated. i was most certainly not popular i can tell you that. #i was more of a 'hey goob nice binder' 'hey goob wanna hang out at my house after school?' [narration: they all hated me...] kinda kid. #i probably kept myself from making friends wo realizing it but also lots of cliques i would've liked to be part of very much ignored me. #i was hot on the margins. a truly underrepresented social archetype... except that's literally every teen movie so maybe not. #i didn't have a big win in the final act that's the difference. #also before the concert we were talking about one of our other friends who is just. so fuckin funny. #like we were all talking about how much we love him. and they said they had been talking about who in the group chat we're in #has the most 'pull' and im like. pull? #like who could pick up the most ppl successfully. hypothetically. #both of them ranked me high :^) i was like. thank you. #they asked me to ponder on the topic myself and try to come back to it but i think im just confused by the concept of 'pull' itself #stromae has pull. that is all.

[tactfulsaboteur]

every time i see somebody using a swear or making an even slightly inappropriate or hurtful joke in the family group chat i remember how some people don't have to turn off three quarters of their personality to interact with their family. wacky. how does it feel to live like that

#i think a large part of why i'm a bit standoffish with the fam now is like no hate but they were (still are) all very nice™ people #so growing up i wouldn't dream of so much as one little swear or saying anything that could be misconstrued as disrespectful #whereas after i moved out and started doing things on my own various things occurred #to make my sense of humor and general social attitude a lot more thick-skinned #and that's not even getting into the blatant racism and suchlike that i pretty much only express online or with a select few irl friends #because y'know... i like having a job and stuff #so while i still love them and care for them and all that i'm basically not permitted to be funny #or express half my deeply held beliefs around them #because that wouldn't be nice™ of me #and i'm sitting here smiling politely like #“chief me and the homies tell eachother to kill ourselves over the most miniscule shit at least weekly” #“me and the homies joke about the most horrific shit your precious little brain can imagine” #a well known running joke in my circle is nothing more than a picture of a dude gaping his asshole wider than you thought humanly possible #if you knew my actual political opinions you'd hurl #i hope they survive the time of monsters but i am not terribly optimistic