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something-in-the-seas · 3 years

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Sorry to bother once again, (I had the Bioshock Infinite bullshit centrism ask and the Burial at Sea ask) but I’m replaying Bioshock 2 again as well and I can’t help but think...why does this one in particular have such a hardcore fan base? Returning to Rapture just isn’t very thrilling whatsoever, and the level design as well as even the graphic design of ads and art in the world is an enormous downgrade from the first game. Sure, the gameplay was good for 2008, but it has aged pretty badly a few things aside (the improved hacking creates great moments of tension). The color palette of the game goes from brown to dark golds, and the splicers just aren’t as engaging either. The world building and characters just feel incredibly expository and unnecessary. Sophia Lamb and collectivism just feels like cliche cult writing and not as wholly dangerous as objectivism/anarcho-capitalism and also feels like at times it’s just trying to do a critique of left wing politics and it doesn’t work. I understand Rapture is pretty much a post apocalyptic society and is just degrading rapidly, but the world just isn’t as immersive as the first and feels like a cheap imitation. Minerva’s Den really feels like the saving grace of this game, and it’s story is much better, but it is unfortunately relegated to being DLC. People complain about Bioshock Infinite’s retcons, but this entire game feels like it doesn’t have actual canonical parity to the first game and wholly unnecessary. I understand that 2k gave devs a VERY limited amount of time (like maybe a year and a half) and they got screwed over and that contributes to a lot of the shortcomings, but I just don’t understand why people in the OG fandom love it. Levine sucks, but even him and that team got shafted by 2k and forced to streamline a lot of the content they had originally made for Infinite(I was obsessed with the development of Infinite, and they brought in Gears of War and Call of Duty managers to streamline everything for the mainstream gamers from what I remember) Knowing this...why should Levine or that team consider Bioshock 2 a canon entry to the world they created? Through this lens I almost understand why Levine and that development team basically broke that universe with Burial at Sea, quite possibly knowing that studio would be dissolved and knowing 2k(a horrendous company tbh) would want to continue using the brand name and world of Rapture for a thing that team worked on for so long. As far as the Bioshock Rapture novel itself and canon...the novel itself doesn’t take a lot of the canonical events in Bioshock 1 into consideration and a lot of the prose just feels flat :/

Well, as a fan of Bioshock 2, I guess I’ll shed some insight as to why it has such a devoted fan base and why people have really turned around on the game in recent years. The game isn’t everybody’s cup of tea, and Minerva’s Den is fantastic, but it holds a special place in my heart.

Bioshock 2 absolutely still has the best game play in the series. Compared to the original Bioshock, which does feel a bit clunky, and Infinite, which doesn’t even have a weapon wheel, Bioshock 2 takes the combat system introduced in the first game and significantly improves it. Dual wielding plasmids and weapons is a game changer, you’re able to efficiently swap between the two without the wait time of pulling out your weapon. There’s a reason why people want the new game to have 2’s style of combat. Compared to Infinite’s shooting gallery style game play, it still favors exploration like the first but also experimentation when it comes to using your plasmids.

2’s designs and color pallets can still be absolutely gorgeous. It’s been eight years since Bioshock, so things are going to be rusted and in terrible shape. The game also focuses on the poorest parts of Rapture compared to the original game, which has you go to the richest neighborhoods and entertainment centers. Pauper’s Drop isn’t going to be as pretty as Arcadia or Fort Frolic.

Compared to Infinite, which is just twist after twist to try to out do the iconic WYK twist in Bioshock, 2’s story is simple: you’re just a dad trying to save your daughter. However, it does what Infinite cannot and gives you freedom. You’re able to kill or walk away and it changes the story. The characters you meet are less way expository than the ones in Infinite, who just appear to shed some backstory on Booker or Elizabeth and then die. Sparing Slate doesn’t matter, but sparing Grace does.

Grace, for example, is able to recognize Delta’s humanity and turn away from Lamb’s cult because her love for Eleanor is stronger than her fear of Lamb. As you read her audio diaries, you find out she’s an incredibly tragic character who isn’t a bad person, the world has just hurt her. Showing compassion to Grace is something she’ll never forget, and while Stanley and Gil are never seen again, I think if the team had more time, they would have included their responses. It’s implied through the statues in Persephone, though, that Delta sparing Stanley gets him to finally get his shit together and Gil is able to fight back against Alex the Great. The biggest twist 2 comes from Sinclair not being your Judas like Atlas was, even though the game hints at this, but he selflessly sacrifices himself for you and Eleanor because he’s grown to care about you.

Lamb is a controversial villain, but I think she’s miles better than Comstock when it comes to writing. She’s a terrifying, powerful figure who doesn’t rely on sexualization to get what she wants. She’s very intelligent, she runs circles around Ryan and Fontaine. Her ideals aren’t exactly terrible and she started off wanting to do the right thing, but she emotionally manipulates and gaslights people around her to do what she wants. She takes advantage of others and at the end doesn’t care about her “family.” They’re a means to an end for her, the end being Eleanor becoming her “utopian.” She’s emotionally and physically abusive to Eleanor and doesn’t respect her autonomy.

I see Bioshock 2 as less of a criticism of leftism, but more of a criticism on cults and organized religions in general. Unlike the original Bioshock, which has references to Judaism because the majority of the characters are Jewish, 2 has a lot of references to Christianity. A lot of people have a hard time understanding what exactly Lamb believes, but if you put in perspective the similarities The Rapture Family has to the Catholic Church, than things make a lot more sense. Lamb and her followers commit cruel acts under their “religion,” Delta commits good acts because it’s the right thing to do.

2 doesn’t feel very connected to the other games, though it should really with Infinite given the glaring similarities between the two. It feels like it’s own story and that works with me. There are huge stakes with Lamb possibly destroying the world if she wins, but it also has the sweetest father-daughter relationship in gaming. You have Mark Meltzer, who goes through hell and back to find Cindy and gives up his life for her, and you have Delta and Eleanor. There’s no animosity, there’s no tension, they just love each other unconditionally. Delta’s love for Eleanor is so powerful that a whole city full of cultish splicers and Big Sisters just couldn’t stop him.

There’s definitely things in 2 that are problematic like the homophobic brute splicers, but it’s not just my favorite of the trilogy, it’s my favorite game of all time. I love Bioshock 2. I love Bioshock 2 because it doesn’t try to be more than what it is. You’re a dad who loves your daughter, and she loves you. When I first played Burial at Sea, I was so glum that I played Minerva’s Den and Bioshock 2 and I felt so much better with this being the chronological end of the series (for now). Also the Little Sisters are adorable and the highlight of the game, they have so much personality now.

It’d actually break my heart if 2K actually listened to Ken and made it not canon, it’s not his decision to make. Thankfully, though, it looks like we’re getting more 2 and Eleanor content which is awesome. I can’t wait to see an adult Eleanor on next gen graphics in her prime showing off why she’s the GOAT of the OG series.

#bioshock #bioshock 2 #augustus sinclair #subject delta #eleanor lamb #sofia lamb #this game definitely isn’t for everyone but I love it #but a lot of people who hated on it when infinite was released are coming around #it’s a legit good game just not as grandiose as 1 and infinite #but being so grandiose hurts those games massively #after Ryan died the plot for 1 nose dives and infinite’s ending is an absolute mess #2 stays consistently good same with Minerva’s den

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nad-zeta · 4 years

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ikevamp please~?\ (•◡•) /

i realised i never requested an actual ikevamp match-up, so imma throw this in here if you don’t mind, please and thank you~.

heterosexual gemini female, isfp, slytherin & chaotic neutral. my style is edgy, but leaning towards casual, too. i like interesting details and aesthetics!

many people say that my initial vibe is pretty intimidating, or at least reserved and mysterious. though, around my friends i am more relaxed and chill, and love to laugh and crack jokes! i also tease a lot~.

but i am, in fact, a reserved person — it takes me a lot of time to open up about my honest feelings and to trust someone. that makes me quite a hermit; i’m on good or neutral terms with many people, but i have just a handful of friends i consider close.

i can be lazy and uninterested, but when something piques my interest or when i’m challenged, i can be a very, very stubborn one! i’m opinionated, but i always try to see a bigger picture and imagine the story from different angles — in that way, i consider myself a very realistic person. i used to be more confrontational in the past, and these days i’m more passive. i try to be tolerant, but i can also get annoyed and irritated easily. i am a ‘forgive but don’t forget’ type of person.

i’m extremely curious and have wide palette of interests, some of which are medicine, botany, arts, astronomy, astrology, and such. i love to explore and learn, and i like activities like hiking. spiritual topics are also my thing, and i simply love to think and wonder. i may like to bake, but the domestic jobs in general aren’t my jam. i also get bored very easily!

i like to be helpful, and my self-worth is defined by being useful or making other smile, so i like giving gifts to my friends, even if it’s just buying them their favourite chocolate bar or so. that ‘giving’ trait of mine is not quite well known, though, and i suppose that it is because of my initial personality that people consider me rather selfish and self-centred instead.

my love language is definitely physical touch, along with giving gifts or acts of service. i’m pretty much touch starved — i will kiss, hug, even bite someone shamelessly and out of endearment ( i can be the tough love kind ). i can also have a bit darker tendencies, but generally i simply crave intimacy. in those terms, i’m more of a 'actions speak louder than words’ person, as i find it embarrassing and shallow to say 'i love you’ often or too soon. i will be poetically affectionate, though.

i do not act affectionate in front of people, though, so if you ask most of my classmates, you’ll probably hear about how they think that i must despise anything to do with contact and lovey stuff.

in terms of romantic interests and relationships, i’m someone who appreciates communication, trust and intellectual bond along with the physical one. i’m also not a fan of people who are uncertain in terms of their feelings or are unstable or unreliable as partners.

Hi hi, dear! Thank you so much for the request! ❤❤🌻Sorry for taking sooooooo long with this!😳❤ I hope you enjoy this love and I hope you have the best day!😊🔥 Hehe TBH I was between 2 of the vampy bios, but then I finally made up my mind and decided on……

So I match you with……..Vincent

The first time this angel sees you, he took an instant liking to you, he could see past that cold, intimidating exterior of yours and straight into the depths of your soul and boy did he want to befriend you. He was the first one to break the ice among the men to introduce himself to you. You were super reserved, so you didn’t say very much that first night with all the vampy bois. When you had left to retire for the night, Theo couldn’t help but loudly state what everyone was thinking, and that was that you were crazy intimidating. Vincent stared up at his brother confused he definitely didn’t get any intimidating vibes from you, if anything he found himself drawn to your mysterious reserved vibe.

The next morning you made your way to the dining room to help with breakfast. You loved to bake, so when Sabastian tasked you with making the van Gogh’s pancakes you were over the moon. You made a hefty stack of pancakes placed it down in front of the two Dutch brothers. They eagerly loaded up their plated munching down on the stack, to say Vincent was in love would be an understatement. Those were truly the best pancakes he had ever eaten in his whole life. The blond man stuffed his face with the light and airy pancakes. He low key looked like a cute chipmunk with the way he eagerly chomped down every last pancake on his plate. You sat down beside them and smiled at a job well down. Once the stack vanished, Vincent beamed his sunshine smile at you and asked if you would make him pancakes again sometime, cause they were honestly just so good. Even Theo chimed in giving you a compliment in his own way.

You helped Sabastian out with the housework, but honestly, you were getting bored you never really liked doing too many domestic work type tasks. As you cleaned, you wandered into a bright room filled to the brim with painting and art supplies. You couldn’t help but marvel at the gorgeous painting hung on the wall. It was just filled with so much emotion and seemed to come, alive telling a story of wonder and hidden beauty. You were awakened out of your reverie by a soft voice, “are you also a fellow lover of the arts.” You gave Vincent a small smile and nod. Vincent then told you that he was on his way with Napoleon to give an Art class to his students and invited you along with him.

You spent the afternoon with Vincent painting and honestly having the best time with the children. It wasn’t an art class as much as a fun time painting and letting your imagination flow onto the canvas.

You honestly loved helping out at this little makeshift school that Napoleon had started. Since that first day, you had been going with Vincent more and more, to help out and teach the children some cool new skills. You loved helping people and making them happy, and to say that the children loved you would be an understatement. They loved coming to you for help with their work, and would always thank you and give you the biggest hug whenever they finally manage to grasp the concept that they had been struggling to understand. Honestly you loved to make people happy and teaching at this street school was way better than doing housework so it was honestly a win win. Plus you got to spend even more time with Vincent which was always filled with smiles and laughter.

Often after teaching the children, you and Vincent would wander around the streets of Paris just taking in the sights. The two of you actually bonded over your mutual love for aesthetics and whenever the two of you would come across and art exhibition, you wouldn't hesitate to enter. The two of you would spend hours looking at the beautiful pieces, appreciating all the interesting details and emotions the artist managed to convey into the art together. You loved spending time with the ray of sunshine, and you couldn’t help but show your true personality with him. As the two of you would wander around town, you found yourself opening up more and more to Vincent and letting him in.

You felt like you could be yourself with him and Vincent absolutely adored you. He loved the jokes you would crack as the two of you would walk around. He found them hilarious, and whenever the two of you were together, Vincent would always be left in a fit of laughter from some or other the joke that you would crack.

Vincent, of course, is used to being teased by Theo, so it is definitely not uncommon for the angel to tease you a little in return as well. Whenever the two of you are together, the room is always filled with smiles and laughter. It has even gotten to that point where you and the angel have inside jokes and whenever someone in the mansion does or says something, both of you lock eyes and burst out laughing

Vincent loved it when you would help him and Theo set up art exhibitions. Not that you complained you loved being helpful and honestly you would do anything the help Vincent, especially if it meant getting to see that radiant smile of his. The more Vincent spent time with you to more utterly and entirely in love, he fell with you.

He loved that you would occasionally give him small, thoughtful little gifts. Every-time, you presented him with a tiny hand made gift his heart melted into a puddle of goo. Of course, don’t think that Vincent has forgotten about you, as often this angel surprises you with tiny trinkets of his own. You seem to have occupied this sweet angels mind, so he cant help but buy you small little gifts that he sees in the shop windows, especially if they remind him of you. He would legit go to the ends of the earth and back just to see that excited glimmer in your eyes whenever he gives you the smallest of gifts. One of you favorite gifts so far was when he presented you with a single flower of your favorite flower, with a small ribbon and note wrapped around its stem to read, “a flower to remind you of how wonderful you are.”

Since finding out that you have in interest in astronomy and astrology, he actually had Isaac make you your very own telescope. He loves to listen to you go on for hours and hours, explaining the difference between the two and teaching him everything you know about astrology and astronomy. He finds it incredibly fascinating. Since learning that you seem to love the night sky, it is not uncommon for him to lead you out into the garden to an awaiting blanket spread out on the floor, so the two of you can stargaze together. He will definitely in these moments ask you more about astronomy as you watch the glimmering universe above you.

You and Vincent love love love to hike and explore different places together. Its always super fun to explore and find a new beautiful scenery to paint and appreciate. Recently the two of you had discovered a field filled with every type of flower imaginable. You would usually stand beside Vincent and paint. But that day you were not really in the mood to do something artsy, so you just sat on a rock in between the beautiful flowers and just wondered and thought, getting wholly and utterly lost in a daydream. Vincent who had turned around to ask you something, saw you staring off into the distance thinking and he just got completely inspired. He turned his easel around and placed a new blank canvas on the stand and started to paint the blinding scene of you sitting among the flowers and butterflies.

When Vincent was done for the day he covered the painting before gently tapping you on the shoulder so that the two of you could make your way back home. You were incredibly curious about the new painting that Vincent had created, more so when Vincent said that you couldn’t see it yet as it was a surprise.

Finally, Vincent had finished the painting of you. With each stroke of the brush painting you among the beautiful scenery, his feelings for you grew stronger and stronger. Vincent invited you to his room that night to give you the painting, and you were overjoyed when you had read what was inscribes at the bottom, “To my dearest sunflower, I love you with all my heart, forever yours Vincent.” Vincent knew that with you, action always spoke louder than words so, in an attempt to make his feeling painfully clear he walked up close to you, until the two of you were nose to nose. He brought his hands to gently cradle your face, and then slowly leaned down to place a tender kiss on your lips.

Vincent loves you with all his heart. He loves that you have a wide variety of interest and will gladly listen to you talk about them for hours and hours. He will even surprise you with a book on the topic of your newest interest. Love it when you sit in his room and read while he paints. Sometimes when he is done painting for the day, he will sit down behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and rest his chin on your shoulder as you continue to get lost in your studies and thirst for knowledge. Sometimes he will read along with you, and then discuss what he had learned with you when you have had enough of reading for the day. He loves to listen to all your opinions and the new thing you had learned, he is especially intrigued when you talk about spiritual topics and will hang onto every word as you tell him everything you learned

He took you to meet his dear friend Shakespeare once and right off the bat you could tell he was up to no good. You tried to be tolerable and passive, however after spending an hour at his mansion you started getting annoyed and irritated. You were a stubborn realistic person who never judged a book by its cover and always strived to see the bigger picture, so you decided not to judge Shakespeare on face value. However, when the day came for the door to open to send you back home, Shakespeare appeared and decided to dictate his own romantic tragedy between you and Vincent.

You could see the story from his angle and perspective and you could also see where he was coming from, but you were definitely not going to passively sit back and let him tear you apart from Vincent.

You had never seen Vincent angry before until that day. Vincent managed to take down Shakespeare and disarm him from the gun he was pointing at you, however, in the tussle, Vincent had been shot twice. Theo had managed to restrain Shakespeare, and you were never more thankful in your life for medical knowledge than at that moment. You and Arthur managed to patch Vincent up and thanks to his vampiric abilities he was recovering quickly.

You had to laugh as during the whole saga between you and Shakespeare, Shakespeare had accused you of not loving his friend as during the whole visit you weren’t acting even the slighted bit affectionate towards Vincent. In fact, at first, Theo accused you of the same thing, however soon Theo realized that you were more private with your display of affection and welcomed you to his family with open arms.

You and Vincent both share the love language of physical touch and act of service. The two of you have an incredibly open, honest relationships based on communication and trust. It isn’t uncommon for you to sit on Vincent’s lap as the two of you talk about all sorts of random topics for hours and hours as he strokes your hair.

Vincent loves to shower you in sweet kisses and warm, comforting hugs. He can’t imagine anything better in the world than to just have you in his arms while he kisses you breathless for hours and hours. Beware as this angel like you, will bite.

Vincent’s favourite is to just shower your face in sweet little kisses. He will legit start by kissing the top of your head and then make his way down to your forehead, then both your eyelids, your nose and then finally your lips.

It’s through these sweet kisses that the two of you often communicate just how much you love each other, no words needed just action.

Other potential matches………….. Shakespeare

I hope you enjoyed this love! And I hope you have the best day! 🌻❤😊🔥@oikame

#match ups #matchups #matches #ikevamp #ikevamp matchup #ikevamp match up #ikevamp vincent #vincent #ikemen vampire vincent #vincent van gogh #submission

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zitkaplushie · 4 years

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nightwing secret files liveblog:

this is gonna be a long one so it’s under a cut!

taking wing-

is that jason??

i like this 'a christmas carol' type exposition i'm ngl

i'm not sure if 'jason''s dismissal of the circus is dixon using an unreliable narrator, or if dixon actually believes that

god i hate this art so much

how dare u insult the teen titans in any way 😤 i like the name

also titans cameo!!

more awful jason characterisation (pls dixon just stay 8732894738 feet away from jason)

"without robin i have no family" i guess the titans are just chopped liver huh

"i always thought that one day i'd be batman" nope nope nope nope you have 0 understanding of dick's character if that's what you think mr dixon

i love clark having a part in dick becoming nightwing - i adore it - but the way dixon retcons the importance of the titans, and especially kory, in dick becoming nightwing rubs me the complete wrong way. i'm choosing to read this as a between the scenes moment, but i 100% dixon intended this to replace the titans' importance. and the way ppl just swallow it up w/o thinking about the reasons behind why dixon would want to erase the titans - and kory - pisses me off lmao

"i didn't mean to stay so long [with the titans]" *eternal screaming* he really wants to undermine the titans at every possible turn wow

at least the next page acknowledges the importance of kory in dick's life, but right afterwards we have "lmao she must've liked your costume. all the girls did. you're a chick magnet" (paraphrased) and i'm just back to sighing

also hi i'm mad at the framing of babs being the endgame bc of course they'd do that. and also at kory being shorter than dick. thanks! i hate it! i'm willing to bet that dixon asked for that specifically.

"this is where i came in" i'm confused at this part but tbh i don't care enough to think abt it any more

i'm also ughhhh at the way they're trying to give bludhaven importance. i don't care, i don't like it, he should've never moved there

ok i do really like that last page

the fact files things are good enough, i love the art for the haly's circus one! the pt barnum ref is 😬 though (ik ik it's the 90s but fjskdh why)

lost pages: teen titans-

ok so, i don't like devin grayson. i don't like her writing at all, i don't think she gets the characters at all, and hot take: if you dislike a character who's super important part of dick's life, and helped him come into his own and be who he is, you shouldn't be writing that character. (i'm talking about kory here, but tbh if you dislike any of the characters who dick interacts with frequently and are a huge part of his life - especially his love interests, and his family - you shouldn't be writing dick.) so i'm not going into this story with high hopes. however i've seen ppl talk about this story as being really good so i hope i'll like it too

you can tell she mostly cares about the fab five, which wouldn't be a problem if she treated the ntt characters better but alas ://

kory and vic both say 1 thing the entire page lmao

ALSO KORY NOT KNOWING WHAT DAY IT IS IS ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE

i loooove the parallel between dick grasping wally's hand and young!dick holding his dad's hand 🥺🥺🥺🥺

vic legit says one thing the entire story lmaoooooooo 🙃🙃🙃

i love garth and roy being brought to the tower 🥺

this is def some of grayson's better work, but it suffers from the same thing all of her stories do. she doesn't fully understand all the characters. if one character is off it affects the whole story. a lot of her stories have good ideas and poor execution, and this one definitely doesn't have awful execution but there's still something missing and as someone who loves the titans it's just sad. i get why people like this story - it made me tear up at the end ngl - but the rest of the titans are just as important as dick and it feels like the writer doesn't understand that. (i get this is a dick comic but it's still a titans story.) (it does however make me want to write a fic expanding upon this moment and the aftermath bc the idea of the titans all coming together to cheer dick up is so goooooood. are they gonna have a party celebrating dick's parent's lives? are they gonna eat junk food and watch a comfort movie? are they gonna just sit and talk?? the possibilities are endless!!)

the art is gorgeous as all of jimenez' art is, i love his style so freaking much!!

the next page is of the bludhaven supporting cast and all it does is remind me how much i do not care abt them. i think the only one i actually like is clancy, the others are expendable and forgettable. (i do love clancy a lot though, i wish she'd been written by more people than just dixon). though, i usually love guice's art, i think i actually prefer mcdaniel's take on clancy??? which is 100% a first for me.

i like seeing the set up to dick's apartment, bc i'm a sucker for layouts and maps. i wish this comic was way better written bc the concept of dick living in an apartment building and interacting with his neighbours is one i really like, esp in superhero comics. but again i have to say, alas.

a day in the life of nite-wing/hangin'-with tad:

painful... just painful...

i physically couldn't care less about this if you paid me

the next page is tad's file and i am Not Reading That. nope nope nope. and also fuck you.

next is a map of bludhaven, and like i said, i'm a sucker for maps.

the page after that is brutale's file and again i just do not care. the art is by damion scott who i really like, but the design looks like knock off scarecrow so

the next pages are files for double dare, lady vidc, shrike and blockbuster and i'm skipping them all bc i give negative fucks

next is a spread of what i assume is dick's cork-board? it looks kinda interesting but the writing is hard to make out and i don't care enough to try to decipher it

next is torque's files and same same, idc idc

nightwing's romances/orange you glad i didn't say banana?:

ok so y'all know i hate dickbabs. i hate everything about how it was built on the foundation of tearing down kory and dickkory and i'm a kory fan first and foremost so i hate this whole situation. so i'm already predisposed to disliking anything that talks about how babs is dick's true love, and talks down any of his other love interests. i come into this with an admitted bias. i'd try to be charitable but i don't see why i should when no one involved in the writing of dickbabs is charitable towards my faves so 🤷

i love love love stelfreeze's art! he's drawn babs in something else i read and i loved it then and i love it here!

i adore dick and babs' friendship, so the beginning is really sweet and cute. i also love the concept of baby!dickie being obsessed with watermelons and wanting to eat them forever

dewey decimal system!!! librarian babs reference!! fdjkh she's such a nerd i love it

babs trying to talk about romance and dick's like 'lol nah what abt fighting' lmao

i Do Not like babs hitting dick while talking abt 'i was segueing into talking about romance, hint hint'

this is romance? dick giving exactly 0 fucks?

why are these writers obsessed with hinting at dick and donna??? like first dixon and now grayson??? please stop!!!! i do love how he says he loves her bc 🥺🥺🥺 i love them

ur not being slick having babs call donna 'donna' and kory 'starfire', i see you grayson. i see ur hate for kory.

and reducing kory to just her body, and dick's sexual attraction to her boils my blood

i'm choosing to interpret babs's face in that panel as her being attracted to kory too

i do like that dick talks about being in love with kory, and thinking about still being with her. a) i'll take those crumbs, and b) thats how i see dick's relationship to love as being (though devin views him as kinda flighty and unfaithful so idk how we're agreeing on this lmao)

pls stop talking shit abt huntress devin, ur the one who made dick/hel a thing

since devin loves her brudick subtext, i'm side-eyeing the mention of bruce there

also why are we hinting at cass pls stop

babs being jealous and petty pls stop

the ending was smooth i have to admit it. if it was any other ship i'd probs love it but as it is, i'm tired of everyone else being downplayed in favour of the ~babs is dick's true loooooveee, it's always been herrrrr, from the beginningggggg~

i don't mind babs being dick's first crush though, in fact that's my hc for him because hello?? who wouldn't have a crush on babs??

thank you mr stelfreeze for accurately portraying babs' bitchface bc she's being a petty bitch here (and i love her but lmaooo i hate this whole thing)

next is the files on the bludhaven pd and i do not caaaare

then there's a timeline, but i don't care about any timeline that dixon writes. i'm petty though so i'm gonna read it and talk abt why i don't like the retcons.

i hate the dickbabs reference in YEAR FUCKING 3 jfc. pls stop with the retcons.

also lmao the difference between the way dick's canon relationship from that time is described in the shittiest way possible (though reluctant at first, dick begins a long and tumultuous romance with teammate starfire.) and how he wrote dick and babs' relationship (robin first teams with ... barbara in her guise as batgirl. the two will pair time and again over the course of their careers and develop a burgeoning affection for one another) this was at a time when they weren't even remotely interested in each other!!! there was no affections there dixon! no matter how much you wish it to be true!! and again the contrast with 'starfire' and 'barbara'! like it's dehumanising and i hate it.

and he can't even bother to get the new teen titans' team name right.

no mention of kory's importance in dick becoming nightwing, nope we ignore that bc it's thanks to superman now.

stepping away from the way he hates kory to talk about the way he hates jason! jason's described as a 'troubled orphan' and a 'juvenile delinquent'.

no mentions of how jason and dick bonded but as soon as tim gets introduced he talks about how dick and tim 'switfly bond as brothers'.

another incredibly impersonal description of dick and kory's relationship (the wedding of dick grayson and kory anders (aka starfire) is aborted by the rogue titan raven. dick and kory soon part company and dissolve their relationship.) but at least he calls her kory this time.

also i love how he speeds up through all the 'non important' development for dick but spends a whole page talking about all the bullshit he's been writing for nightwing. i understand why, but it's just lmaooooo 🙃 when you read it like that, it really shows how shitty this comic is.

talks of the 'doomed relationship' between dick and hel and i really hate it pls stop

the last page is dick's evaluation by the police academy and i do not care so i'm skipping it too.

#welp. this comic was a ride. i hated 95% of it and i hate dixon and grayson's writing #antidickbabs #bc i talked a lot of shit abt them #and i'm free to do so but i'm tagging for ppl who don't want to see ship hate #reyes reads comics #reyes.txt #long post #negative #for the blacklist #edit - i added a cut bc it was too long #2nd edit - ooff so many typos

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truerequitedlove · 5 years

Text

Formless

something deep and primal within me begged me to write this. i hope someone else finds something in it for them as well

note - i wrote this in one sitting and i’m not super sure of it so constructive criticism is not only welcome but i’m begging u

disclaimer – i’m not claiming anything portrayed in this piece of fiction as true or untrue about any of the people i’ve used characterizations of in real life

Genre: introspection, reality/non-AU

Warnings: gender questioning, sexuality questioning, bit of gender dysphoria, brief mention of depression, brief mention of homophobia, brief existentialism, lots of queerness

Word Count: too long tbh (4.8k)

Dan wished he was formless.

read on ao3

~•~•~

Dan wished he was formless. Shapeless. Amorphous. Nebulous. He wished he was hazy around the edges. He wished he was open to interpretation, able to sway one direction and then just as quickly to the next. He wished he looked different depending on the light. He wished every time he was seen, he was new. He wished he was ambiguous. Silver in a world of bright colors. Reflective. He wished he was infinite and fathomless and chameleonic. He wished he was a grey area, balancing on a line, living in a pocket to the left of the known universe.

But Dan was just Dan. Just lines and angles and flesh and bones.

And Dan didn’t know what caused him to long for this sense of formlessness. It could easily have been the sadness that occasionally overwhelmed him. The desire to be anything but human. Human with the pesky ability to feel and think and wonder and philosophize.

But that was different. When the sadness managed to take over, to eat at Dan, when the numbness set into his bones, it was different. During these times, he was formless. Not in the right way. In the confusing, fearful, way. When he melted into a puddle and parts of him kept slipping away, and he couldn’t gather himself up quickly enough to become whole again. To become a person again.

And Dan did like being a person. He liked being human. He liked the feeling of fingers trailing over his skin. He liked the way his stomach did flips before something amazing happened. He liked breathing in fresh air when he stepped outside or opened a window. He liked the way certain tastes bathed his tongue and made him feel inside his chest. He liked the way he could express his thoughts aloud, in writing, in art. He liked the way he could experience others’ thoughts through their words and art. He liked that he had a body that felt and a mind that thought.

So, Dan had begun to think that maybe he wanted formlessness only because of societal ideals.

Or, perhaps, that everyone was formless.

Perhaps humans existed in a formless, nebulous, chaotic state, and they forced themselves into molds to create forms that were organized and neat. Perhaps some humans fit those molds better than others. Perhaps some humans overflowed, seeped through the cracks, spilled out chaos.

Okay. Maybe from the moment one was born, molds were placed in front of them by the picture-perfect of the world. Molds made for them and handed to them as if one size fit all. Male. Female. Straight. Society asked humans to fit into the molds. When humans rejected these molds, they found another to try on. Gay. Bisexual. Ace.

But Dan wanted to be mold-less. Formless. He wanted to be an exception. He wanted—

“Dan?” a voice called from across the flat, breaking into his thoughts.

Dan frowned, trying to recapture the thought. Formless. Dan wanted to be formless with no limit to his—

“Dan?” the voice called again.

Dan sighed. “What?” he called back in a monotone.

“Pasta,” Phil replied shortly.

Dan shook his head, and his lips quirked up a little. He stood from the bed and walked down the hall toward the kitchen.

“You interrupted my introspection,” Dan said, knocking his hip against Phil’s as he reached to grab a bowl from the cupboard.

Phil scooped some of the pasta out of a pot on the stove into his own bowl. “Good,” he said, knocking Dan’s hip in return. “You’ve been doing too much of that.”

“I’m doing important reflection on my life and identity so that I can further my career and personal life in a way that stays authentic to my true self,” Dan argued, scooping himself up some pasta.

“I know,” Phil said, taking a seat at their table. “But, you know, I think sometimes you learn more about yourself by living life than reflecting on it.”

“I think I’ve lived a lot the past year,” Dan said, sitting across from Phil.

“Fair,” Phil said before he scooped some pasta noodles into his mouth. “What have you been thinkin’ about?” Phil asked, before fully swallowing his mouthful.

Dan raised an eyebrow, breathing out a soft chuckle at Phil. “Societal expectations versus individual identity.”

Phil chuckled. “I look forward to—to reading your thesis,” he joked.

Dan smiled. “Or maybe just watch my next video.”

Phil hummed. “Thinking about doing another deep-ish one?” he asked, and Phil always made it sound so simple.

“Maybe,” Dan said. “Haven’t decided.”

“Well,” Phil said, reaching for a napkin to wipe pasta sauce from the corner of his mouth. “Whatever it is, it’ll be great,” he promised.

Dan smiled a little. “What makes you say that?”

Phil swallowed his bite of pasta. “Because it’s you,” he said easily, scooping more pasta onto his fork. “Eat your pasta I slaved over it for hours.”

Dan rolled his eyes, still smiling a bit as he scooped some of the pasta onto his fork.

~•~•~

Dan looked himself in the mirror. He was still half-asleep, but he’d tugged on a t-shirt. And sweatpants, as it was a bit chilly. He hadn’t turned the bathroom light on, planning to try to sleep in a bit longer, but he’d paused when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

He looked at himself, unsure what exactly made him stop. It was him. He didn’t look terrible or exhausted. He didn’t look amazing, either. His curls fell into his face, grown out just a bit since his last haircut. The light cotton shirt he wore hung off his shoulders loosely. His sweatpants were nestled low around his hips. His cheeks were soft and red from sleeping. His lips were much less chapped than usual, red, and a bit plumper than usual.

He liked the way he looked.

Dan couldn’t perfectly put his finger on what it was he liked, but he felt good.

He felt... He felt that sense of formlessness that he’d been craving if only a little. It might have been the messiness. An oversized shirt, unkempt hair. No, no. It wasn’t the messiness. It definitely wasn’t the messiness. He grabbed a comb from the bathroom drawer, flicking the light on.

He played with his hair a bit, pushing it back and combing it forward. No, no. He tried to capture the feeling he wanted, but it felt like it was getting further and further away. No, no, what happened? Where had the feeling gone? Dan felt frustration slowly replace the satisfaction. Tears gathered in his eyes.

Dan heard Phil stumble toward the bathroom, and he opened the door, seeming surprised to see Dan despite the light being on. Phil was obviously still half-asleep, but he noticed Dan was upset.

“Hey,” Phil spoke, voice scratchy and deep. He tried to clear his throat with a cough. “Hey, what’s wrong?” His voice still came out a bit gravelly.

Dan reached up to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand. “Oh, uh, nothing, nothing. Sorry. I’ll let you pee,” Dan said, leaving the bathroom. He was pretty sure that a less-sleepy Phil wouldn’t have let him get away so easily.

Dan crawled back into bed, trying to shake the strange discomfort that had crept up on him and just fall asleep again. Before he could, Phil crawled back into bed beside him.

“Hey,” Phil breathed, wrapping his arms around Dan’s middle. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Dan breathed, not sounding too convincing.

“Hey,” Phil murmured again, dropping a kiss to Dan’s head. “You’re gorgeous.”

Dan didn’t know how Phil knew to say that, but he smiled a little. Gorgeous . “Thanks,” Dan said genuinely.

~•~•~

Dan was thinking about high school. He was thinking about trying to be a scene kid, wearing skinny jeans, girls’ jeans, trying eyeliner, growing his hair too long, straightening it. He was thinking about the emo boys he’d known. He was noticing how the whole scene sort of allowed teenage boys to embrace a more feminine side. They got to mess around with feminine fashion, hairstyles, make-up, and express their emotions.

He was thinking about the kids who’d call him gay, throw rocks, yell ‘faggot’ after Dan and his friends. They’d just laugh at the time or yell something back, but Dan wondered if those things really did leave a lasting impact on his expression.

He was thinking about the other night, the vague rightness he had seen in his reflection for a split second. He was thinking about how he knew, objectively, that he was a good-looking guy, but he was still unsatisfied with his appearance. He was thinking about his curly hair. He was thinking about his old reading festival bracelets. He was thinking about nail polish. He was thinking about his relationship with Phil. He was thinking about his fear of being labeled gay. He was thinking about the time when he was in uni and grew his hair out a bit long, straightened it, and put in earrings. He was thinking about the time when he cut his hair, styled it like every guy he knew did, defended himself, guarded himself, and shoved a few pieces of himself into the recesses of his being. He was thinking about the change between those times and the change between then and now.

Dan was thinking quite a lot.

He was thinking quite a lot about sexuality, gender, and identity.

He was thinking about it, because it wasn’t so scary at the moment, and he needed to take advantage of that.

There was a time when Dan wanted to be seen as anything but gay. Anything but feminine.

But, had Dan ever really felt masculine?

So, Dan thought about that. Had there ever been a time in his life that he had really felt like a boy or a man?

During his childhood, before gender or sexuality or appearance mattered, Dan would live carelessly. He would wear tiaras and tutus and sing spice girls into plastic microphones. He would climb trees and skin his knees and ride his bicycle around the neighborhood. He took piano lessons. He refused to play rough and fight with the other little boys. He made friends with girls. He ran through parks, rolled down grass hills. He hugged his grandma and kissed her hello. He was never good at sports. He loved video games.

And, no, he’d never felt like a girl . But, had he ever felt like a boy? Dan had never given much thought to gender. He’d always just been Dan . Dan with boy friends and girl friends. Dan who liked girls and liked boys. Dan who cursed at video games and cried listening to Cancer by My Chemical Romance.

Dan had felt gay before. He’d felt queer.

He often felt queer.

When he laid his head against the flat, broad, chest of his boyfriend. When he kissed the firmer lips of a man, his man. When he fell into bed with his lover, pressed himself into him, let him press himself into Dan. When Dan’s gaze toward a man lingered a second. God, when Dan looked in the mirror. He always felt queer. That was irrevocably a part of him. A part of him he’d learned to take pride in.

Alas, beyond that vague queerness, Dan had always struggled to define himself.

Dan stopped running, leaning against the wall and catching his breath. He looked around at the scarcely populated streets. The sun was just starting to properly light up the sky. Dan almost felt like the only one alive. He wondered when he became a morning person, but it was so peaceful. So still.

It was easier to think in the morning. He had a blank slate to work with. He wasn’t quite afraid of the world yet, because it wasn’t awake yet. It wasn’t bustling and busy and chaotic yet. In that, it was the same as staying up until two, or three, or four in the morning. The difference was in how Dan felt, how the world felt.

Three am was full of people ending their days. Full of people hurting, thinking, crying, fucking, falling in love, feeling . There were anxieties about the morning lingering in the air. Time moved faster. There was something so heavy about the early hours of darkness.

The morning was light. It was full of fresh starts and hope. Thoughts didn’t weigh so heavily on the mind, because there was the entire day to sort them out. Getting up early was already an accomplishment. The world was quiet, and time moved slowly.

At least for Dan.

He smiled a little.

Maybe Dan wasn’t entirely a man. He had never even felt too comfortable calling himself a man. ‘Boy’ has been okay. ‘Man’ was too…masculine. Too definitive.

Maybe he was just overthinking like he always did. Maybe gender roles meant nothing and Dan just refused to give into them. Maybe being a man was whatever he wanted it to be. Or maybe gender identity was just this vague and confusing feeling. Maybe Dan was a little bit formless. Maybe he couldn’t fit into any of the molds. Maybe he craved the same label-less formlessness for his gender as he did his sexuality. Maybe these thoughts would become terrifying in a few hours.

That was okay. Mornings were full of ‘maybe’s. Maybe he’d make breakfast. Maybe he’d crawl back into bed and fall back asleep. Maybe he’d look through old video idea files and see what he could update to match his current self. Maybe he would just watch the new Queer Eye episodes and play the piano and laze about. Maybe he would look in the mirror and say ‘maybe I’m not a man.’

Dan looked up at the sky again before changing the playlist on his phone to play the more upbeat instrumentals he had compiled for these runs. He set of jogging again.

It was still early.

~•~•~

Dan set a bottle of base-coat nail polish, a bottle of black nail polish, a bag of cotton balls, and a bottle of nail polish remover down on his desk one by one. He turned on a light and sat down.

He untwisted the top to the base nail polish, wiping the brush on the sides to get rid of the excess, and brought the applicator to his fingernail, slowly painting a line of the clear polish onto his nail, messing up the moment he had to fill in around his skin, and painting over his skin.

Dan took in a breath. He reached for a cotton ball and the nail polish remover, cleaning his nail off.

He tried it again.

He messed up again, this time after a few more swipes of nail polish.

He took in a breath, wiping the nail polish away with a wetted cotton ball.

He tried again.

He didn’t mess up until he got to the black polish. He painted insanely messily and out of the lines, covering his skin and cuticles in the polish.

He took in a breath and reached for the nail polish remover.

He tried again.

Paint went onto the nail. It was messy. It was outside the lines. It wasn’t right.

Dan didn’t allow himself to get frustrated. He took another deep breath. He wet another cotton ball.

He tried again.

It was understandable that the nail polish wouldn’t stay within the confines Dan had created for it. But, Dan wanted to find a way for something to fit right. He wanted the polish on his nails to be perfect. He wanted to get good at it. He wanted it to be normal and to feel second nature.

Once he could do this, he could do the next step.

Dan didn’t know what the next step was, but he knew he wanted to get there. He needed to get there.

So, he wiped his nails off, until he did the first one perfectly, none of it on his skin or cuticles. Then he moved to the next finger and did it again. He bit his lip as he focused, painting over and over until he got it perfect.

Then, once that was dried, he repeated the process on the other hand.

~•~•~

“Look,” Dan said, holding his hand out to Phil.

Phil spared a small glance. “Cute,” he said because this was normal.

“No,” Dan said. “Look.”

Phil perked an eyebrow, but looked again, taking Dan’s hand and holding it in the light to look them over. “Very pretty,” he said.

“I did a good job, yeah?” Dan asked because Phil was clueless and he needed the reassurance.

“Oh! Yeah, yeah, they look great,” Phil assured. “Perfect, actually,” he said, looking them over.

Dan rolled his eyes and sat back. “Took a few attempts,” he said.

“Well, you’re getting good at it,” Phil said.

Dan smiled. “I try.”

Phil’s gaze remained on Dan’s face for a moment.

“What?” Dan asked, blushing . He was fucking blushing, he could feel the warmth in his cheeks. Phil Lester had spared him many a long glance with similar amounts of affection. Still, Dan felt his stomach flutter just a bit. Dan didn’t know why it felt different in the moment, but it did.

“Nothing,” Phil said, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “You’re just. Dunno. You look very pretty.” He turned back to his laptop.

Dan smiled, looking away. “Thank you.”

~•~•~

Dan was scrolling through the Instagram of Ben J. Pierce and trying to remember when they’d ended up in a mutual following.

There was something lovely and inspiring about these queer creators he followed. The pride they took in their identity and expression was comforting and inspirational. Still, Dan managed to find sadness in it. He couldn’t help but feel strange. Ben, for example, was only just twenty years old. When Dan was twenty, he was entering the throes of repression, about to spend a year or so trying to change himself, to make himself more desirable to the audience he felt he wanted. Yet, there were so many younger than him who seemed to be so aware of themselves. So proud of themselves. And so loud about it.

Dan looked at the lipstick painted across Ben’s lips. The dresses pulled over his chest. The colors around his eyes. The shimmer on his cheekbones. Dan loved it. He loved it for Ben. But there was also a sort of longing in his chest as he looked at these pictures. Make-up seemed like a lot. A dress seemed like a lot. But, still, he wanted it. He wanted to be comfortable with the idea of his face covered in makeup and his awkward body stuffed into a skirt or dress. Not just in front of the mirror at home. Not just for the sake of trying it.

Maybe he would be someday.

A few years ago, it would have felt like a joke to want such a thing, so at least he was making progress. The idea of being anything but a man would have seemed like a joke.

Dan knew a lot of things now that he hadn’t known back then. He had met people in the past few years that a young, sexually confused and repressed Dan could never even have imagined existing. Young people with bright smiles and grateful words and knowledge of their own identity that Dan sort of envied.

People who looked up at him with bright eyes and said “thank you so much for always using inclusive language,” and “I met people through you that allowed me to find parts of myself and piece together my identity,” and “I’m glad you’re comfortable with traditionally non-masculine things, because I was made fun of for being a boy that likes feminine things.” People who made Dan feel like somehow this silly YouTube thing had a genuinely positive effect on hundreds of people. People who gave Dan way too much credit.

Dan looked down at his nails, painted flawlessly. He remembered the first time he’d properly painted them. The endless support and excitement that flooded in from fans. It had been silly. Love and support for putting a bit of paint on his nails. But, it had also been amazing. He had genuinely been afraid. He’d looked that the bottle of nail polish a fan had given him. A cheap, barely opaque, dollar store bottle. He’d felt the same longing he did now.

That was one thing. Not wanting to conform to gender roles. Life was too short to just live in the box set out for you by society.

The thing that was different was the strange euphoria that washed over him when he looked down at his painted nails. When he wore a too-big sweater. When his hair fell over his forehead just right.

Just the thought of drifting further away from the labels, boxes, and societal rules of gender made something bubble up inside of him. Something distinct from his current queerness but queer nonetheless. After all these months of introspection and striving to live as authentically as possible, Dan was ready to fully acknowledge this facet of his queerness. He was ready to acknowledge that he might not just wish for formlessness, but already be, in a way, formless.

~•~•~

Dan had been quiet and contemplative for a while. He was ready to talk now. He wanted to lay it all out verbally and piece it together in words as best as he could. Dan hated fixed labels, but his mind also hated leaving things nameless. Phil had patient ears, and soft encouragement, and had foolishly agreed to stay with Dan and listen to his contemplation for nine years and counting.

So, Dan walked into the lounge where he knew he’d find Phil and caught his gaze.

“What if I told you I wasn’t a man?”

Phil set aside his laptop, giving Dan his full attention. Dan hoped he wasn’t going to make a big deal, but he knew better. That wasn’t their style. Phil smiled a little and seemed neither startled nor bothered.

“I would say ‘okay,’” Phil said. “And I would ask if you’d like me to change the way I refer to you.”

Dan almost felt as though these were words contemplated by Phil before this conversation. Dan smiled little. Of course. He was stupid. Phil knew. God, Phil had probably known before Dan had even begun to properly question.

“And if I said I wasn’t sure?” Dan asked, sitting down on the other end of the couch so he could face Phil.

“Then,” Phil said easily. “I would say ‘okay,’ and ask if you wanted to talk about it.”

Dan smiled. “How long have you suspected?” he asked.

Phil understood because of course he did. Dan wasn’t sure how people communicated with people who didn’t know them so well. Talking to anyone else about this would have been so much different, so much scarier, and so much harder.

Phil shrugged. “I didn’t know anything for sure, but I hadn’t ruled it out. I just figured if you felt like you needed to say anything you would, and you have.”

Dan leaned back into the couch cushion, smiling a bit, but unsure exactly how to proceed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Phil asked.

Dan looked down at his black nails. “Yes.”

Phil shut his laptop, moved a bit closer to Dan and Dan talked.

Dan talked for a long time. He talked about the stupidity of gender roles, about the articles he’d read about gender being merely a construct. Scientific research studies. Phil mentioned gently and with a chuckle that Dan didn’t have to cite medical journals to justify the way he and many others felt.

Dan talked about being queer. He talked about painting his nails. He talked about catching glimpses of himself in the mirror and feeling warmth well up at the casual androgyny he sometimes found in his reflection. He talked about baggy clothes and small hoop earrings and curly hair. He talked about euphoria and dysphoria.

Dan talked about the non-binary and binary trans people who showed up to meet and greets. He talked about the queer pride that radiated off of so many of their audience. He talked about all he’d learned about the world in trying to understand his and Phil’s audience, and incidentally, all he’d learned about himself.

He talked candidly about the difficulty he often had equating himself with a man. With maleness or masculinity. He talked about male beauty gurus and gender nonconforming people and drag queens and non-binary genders.

Phil listened. He added comments. He brought up things that he noticed about Dan that Dan hadn’t even noticed. He occasionally asked for clarification, but he knew all of the terms and the ideas and Dan was so glad Phil was quite queer as well.

They talked for hours, between bites of food and snacks. They talked until the sun went down. They talked until Dan’s jaw got tired and they couldn’t keep their eyes open.

“We should head to bed,” Phil said because he knew Dan could stay up and talk despite the tiredness.

Dan nodded. “Yeah,” he admitted. “Did we…did I ever reach any sort of conclusion?”

“I don’t know about you, but I’d say I did,” Phil said, smiling, eyes drooping and hand on Dan’s thigh.

“Mhm?” Dan asked, gently pushing Phil’s hair from his face. “What’s that?”

“You’re you,” Phil said. “And I love you.”

“Gross. Cheesy. I’m putting you to bed,” Dan said.

Phil smiled. “I know you like to think and sort things out,” Phil said, yawning. “But, I think things get clearer with time, you know? We’re moving slowly right now. You can let yourself slow down too. You’re ready, you know? Who you are—your truth—it’ll come to you, yeah? Piece by piece.”

Dan smiled. There were tear tracks on his cheeks because this was a lot. Talking about this was a lot. He was ready. He was finally ready to confront this vague feeling within himself that he’d always dismissed. And he didn’t have to do it alone. Another tear slipped down his cheek, and he swiped it away.

“Just let me know if you need me to change anything, or do anything. I know you’re getting so close to where you wanna be.”

Dan smiled, leaning into Phil. “I love you.”

Phil smiled too, taking in a deep breath before forcing himself to stand. He offered Dan a hand. “Alright. Bed now.”

~•~•~

Dan looked down at their freshly painted nails. They smiled. They’d removed the polish once it began to chip and reapplied it for a few weeks now. It was so strange how such a small thing could make Dan feel so much more in touch with themself.

They supposed for a lot of people, nail polish was just an extra pop of color. To Dan, it felt like a step into a new way of expressing themself. A reaffirmation to themself that their identity was real. That their formlessness was real. That their queerness was good and beautiful. That they were good and beautiful.

Dan walked into the kitchen, finding Phil buttering some toast. “I want you to switch them up,” Dan said.

Phil looked up. “What?” he questioned.

“Pronouns. Any are good. I mean, I don’t mind any. I like them all, so. I’d like it if you switched them up,” they said.

“Oh,” Phil said, smiling. “I will.”

Dan still wasn’t sure who Phil would speak to about Dan using any pronouns other than ‘he/him,’ but that was a question for another day. Dan knew Phil understood that as well, turning back to his toast.

“So, they, she, and he?” Phil clarified, wiping the butter from his knife and dropping it into the sink.

Dan felt a flutter in their stomach at the idea of being referred to as they or she. “Yeah. All good,” they said.

“So, like, ‘you should meet my boyfriend—” Phil started, moving to wrap his arms around Dan’s waist. “They’re beautiful, thoughtful, and talented. She has pretty eyes. She has a few freckles and patches of red. Her lips aren’t chapped anymore, which means they’re even better for kissing.” Phil pressed a short kiss to Dan’s lips. “I love them a lot,” he said.

A wide smile spread over Dan’s lips, they could feel their eyes water a bit, and their stomach buzzed with euphoric butterflies. “Yeah, pretty much,” Dan breathed, giggling a bit. “Although I hope you don’t always talk to people like you’re a fourth grader writing a story.”

Phil smiled, pressing another kiss to Dan’s lips. “I’m proud of you, you know,” he said, grabbing his plate of toast and taking a seat at the dining table.

Dan smiled. “I’m proud of me too,” they said.

#decided heck it and posted #arys writes #phanfic #phanfiction #nonbinary!dan #enby!dan #introspection fic #gender identity fic #edit: this was posted pre coming out just for a lil context

77 notes · View notes

warmau · 7 years

Text

{Special} College!AU Bambam

major: biochemistry

minor: took film for a semester and then dropped it when the teacher disagreed with his opinion on dr. dolittle being the best comedy of all time

sports: quote on quote “what’s the point of sports when i burn calories with all this swag”

clubs: chemistry club, tried to join a frat but jb made sure that did NOT happen

when people first meet bambam they’re like “you’re a fashion major? a english major? a theater major? a,,,,,,,,,,art major???” and he’s like “noooo im not good at art and writing, im good at BLOWING THINGS UP” aka he’s a science major

nd he’s like,,,,,,pretty good?? like he’d be better if he ACTUALLY studied

because when he does he ends up doing really well,,,,like on tests if he gets his hands on someone else’s notes and spends at least 2 hours reading through them he gets by with like a 90% without even trying TOO hard

the problem is,,,,,,,,,,,he never does that. he never studies. he gets swept up in campus drama or parties or his own personal relationships and stuff

and in lab he’s a headache for the poor teacher because his questions always stray from the topic at hand and go “if i put chemical x and chemical y in water at the same time i could theoretically make something strong enough to burn through skin right??????” and the teacher is like “yes but that’s not-” and bambam is like “where’s jinyoung i gotta get him back for hitting me over the head with one of his big ass ‘political’ textbooks”

and the teacher just has their head in their hands and the class is laughing and it’s just like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,bambam,,,,,,,,,are you seriously interested in a career in science???

but in a way bambam doesn’t really know what he wants?? he’s a creative person with a good fashion sense and he’d fit so well into the art community but he like doubts his skills ?? even though it never seems like it

he’s always internally hard on himself and he’s convinced the only way he can maybe prove he’s good is if he gets a successful job as a doctor or engineer

but at the same time does he really want to do that for a living??? like it’s fun to experiment but classes that deal with math and theory are kind of boring to him

but bambam just keeps it to himself,,,,,he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s worried and maybe that’s why he distracts himself with gossip and parties and oh my god taehyung hooked up with who?? oh hyuk is throwing a party??

and you’re familiar with bambam from the first day you start your work study as a TA to the chemistry professors lab program because all the students there have their coats on and their goggles and their notebooks

and bambam is sitting there with what looks like a labcoat that is bright green instead of the standard white, his name sewed in cursive on the pocket, and goggles with stars bedazzled on the side

and he’s the only with bright blonde hair and dangling earrings and when he raises his hand the teacher lets out the biggest sigh you’ve ever heard in your life

before turning to you and he’s like “you have one job. take care of that one.”

‘that one’ is of course, none other than bambam

and lab happens two days a week and those two days a week are straight up Teasing from bambam on your part

from the second you introduce yourself to his group, bambam goes “i’d much rather learn from you than that old grumpy professor,,,,,,,,you’re cuter (;”

and his greasy cheesiness at first off-puts you but somehow you find yourself falling into it

and as you’re leaning over his shoulder to correct some of his notes he goes “ahhh,,,,my heart might explode with you so close to me~”

and you roll your eyes but like,,,,,,,,,,,it’s also kinda cute

having someone’s attention and being around someone who is so open with their feelings like it’s nice like who doesn’t like attention

but also the teacher loves you because bambam has focused his energy onto you and not onto asking him what kind of atoms make someone tall and someone short

but,,,,,,that all changes when the science department gets a new lab technician, a tall and handsome recent graduate nichkhun

who from the first day is very sweet and helpful,,,,reminding you to roll your sleeves up when you get near the burner

and asking you if you’ve eaten before lab start

and bambam notices this because he’s Nosy and Mischievous ,,,,,,,and he does not let you live it down

all of his flirtatious little come-ons turn into teasing you about nichkhun and how ‘cute’ you’d look together and how much he thinks his hyung likes you

and nichkhun just brushes all of it off,,,,,,because he’s older than you and he’s your colleague. both of you don’t talk outside of the lab

but bambam think it’s the funniest thing ever to keep trying to pair the two of you together

but one day he goes a bit,,,,,too far,,,,,,you’re all sitting around the table and you’re helping someone else in bambam’s group figure out the equation needed to change the temperature into kelvin when you hear bambam call over nichkhun

and nichkhun gives everyone a friendly smile and of course one to you as well but bambam nudges nichkhun and is like “hyung,,,,,,,,your staring is obvious~ when will you two date? have you exchanged numbers?”

and you’re trying to help someone so you’re like “bambam, not now”

but it goes completely over his head and bambam is like “ill get their number for you hyung, you interested?” and you slam the pencil you’re holding down and you’re like “bambam. stop.” and nichkhun is like “bambam, really we are just acquaintances”

and bambam is looking at you, your pissed off expression and he’s like “ok,,,,,,fine.”

and you go back to helping the student and bambam doesn’t speak to you and you don’t speak to him

you try to tell yourself not to think about it because like you don’t care about nichkhun,,,,,,what bothers you is the fact that bambam had always been so sweet and affectionate toward you in the beginning

telling you how much he likes your eyes, staring at you when you were working with the burner, even poking your cheek with the eraser of his pencil because he claimed the sound of surprise you’d make was cute

but ,,,,,,,, now with him always pushing this other guy onto you like it makes you realized that perhaps all of that ‘flirting’ was really just a part of his personality, he’s just that person who teases people without having real feelings for them

and you had never been comfortable with openly coming to terms with the fact that your liking for bambam had turned into a bit of a crush,,,,,,maybe partially because he’d be so interested in you but also,,,,,it’s hard not to fall for someone so outspoken. so unique

with his tall, slender body,,,,sharp jaw,,,,,,,,mesmerizing gaze,,,,,,how his lips look partially open in concentration,,,,,,,how his laugh is loud,,,,,how he’s silly but also so??????? gorgeous

like how could he be sitting there looking like a prince from the cover of a novel to dabbing every time the teacher says the word “ethanol”

but it’s obvious with the way he was totally ok with the idea of you and nichkhun,,,,,,,that those compliments and his flirting was all just a way of him killing his boredom in class

so when you return to lab the following week, you don’t even spare him a glance. you think instead about what you’re going to do later,,,,,,,,and you get a text from a friend asking if you’d want to go on a double blind date with them

and you peek at bambam whose happily laughing with someone from another group and you reply that sure, you’ll go

the date is in some cafe half a mile off campus and you don’t know if you’ve even put ‘effort’ into your outfit tbh you just want a distraction

and your friend is mindlessly telling you about this class they’re taking on portuguese film when you’re approached by two guys,,,,,,one you know is totally your friends type so you let them go off and start chatting

the other one seems as awkward as you are about this situation,,,,he’s quite tall for what he says his age is and his black hair is cut in a kind of mushroom style with his bangs falling in front of his face but he seems nice,,,,,,,,,

and you tell him your name and he goes in a bit of a high voice, “im yugyeom!”

and your friend and their date are completely hitting it off as you and yugyeom sit in the corner sipping chocolate latte’s in silence until he asks what your work study is about and you tell him about the lab

and yugyeom stops and then tilts his head and he says your name outloud and you’re like yes? and he’s like and you’re the TA for chem lab,,,,,,,,,,,,,,then you must know my best friend!!!

and you’re like ????? who is it and he’s like “bambam!”

and the straw kind of falls out of your mouth but you regain your composure and you’re like “ah- yes i do” and yugyeom is all smiles and in your head you’re like change the subject change the subj-

“you’re the TA, he’s actually talked about you a loooooot!!”

and you’re like wait excuse me what now

and yugyeom is tapping his chin with his finger and he’s like “he mentioned that he was doing even worse in lab since you came along,,,,he already doesn’t concentrate but he was like like ‘yugyeom i couldn’t even take a single thing down i kept wanting to look at them’ it was so funny, actually hasn’t he asked you out??????”

and you’re sitting there with your jaw practically on the floor

and yugyeom is like “are you on this blind date because you didn’t like him back or did that loser never ask you?”

and he’s asking it jokingly but you look down at your hands and blink because wait,,,,,,,,,,bambam talked about you to his bestfriend????? he told his bestfriend,,,he ,,,,,,liked??? you????

and yugyeom is like “hey- are you ok?” and you get up and you’re like “yugyeom you’re nice and all but i-”

and he grins and waves his hand in front of his face like “i get it. by the way bambam is probably in the library right now, jaebum forced him to go and stay there. forced him or gave him ten bucks something like that~”

and you look over at your friend and yugyeom is like “don’t worry, ill take care of it ^^” and you’re like,,,,,,,ok thank you so much

and you don’t know why but you can’t even walk properly, your excited because the thought of,,,,,,,,,, “he likes me,,,,,he likes me,,,,,nichkhun was just a joke,,,,,,but why,,,,,,,,does he like me? he must,,,,,,,,maybe,,,,,”

and you can’t believe it but you’re running, trying your hardest not to bump into student on their way back and forth from classes

and you get to the library,,,,,but it’s closing and you try to tell the librarian you just have to see if someone is still there and she’s like “no one is here, go” and you’re like,,,,,,,standing there defeated

until you feel someones hand on your shoulder

and you turn and bambam is there, notebook under his arm and a smile on his face and he’s like “what are doing here TA?”

and you’re like “i,,,,,,,,” but you freeze up and you’re not sure what to say because well you were kind of standoffish to him for a while

and he seems so fine just smiling here in front of you that you find yourself doubting what yugyeom told you like how can you even trust yugyeom like you just met him on some stupid blind date what if he didn’t even know bambam what if this was all-

but you don’t have to say anything because bambam sheepishly scratches his neck and is like “i wanted to find you and tell you something by the way”

and you’re like “oh,,,,,?”

and bambam flicks his eyes to look into yours and you’re like holy shit his lashes are so pretty and long what,,,,,,,but bambam intentionally lowers his voice and is like

“i was really childish to keep teasing you and nichkhun hyung. im sorry i made both of you uncomfortable.”

and you stop for a second because ok you kinda were expecting that confession but also your heart warm a bit because it’s nice to see him reflect on his mistake

and you play with your fingers but ofc you’re like “it’s ok,,,,,,,but why did you keep pushing it? the one i like isn’t nichkhun,,,,,,,”

and you’re shyly blushing now a bit and bambam gives a nervous chuckle and he’s like

“i thought you’d be into guys like him! you know,,,,,,guys who are actually going places with their life. you’re definitely not into losers like me.”

the words make you look up in shock because bambam has always been this mr. confidence to you and ,,,,,,,did he just call himself a loser??

and the usual bambam who stands tall, chest out with a gleaming grin on his face is now hunched over, hair in his eyes as he speaks in embarrassment

and you’re like “is that what you think of yourself?” and bambam coughs a bit because he’s never,,,,,,,really,,,,,,,,,told anyone,,,,,,but he just shrugs and is like “kinda,,,,,,you’ve seen my lab grades. im not a genius - im not getting a job as easily as someone as nichkhun,,,,,”

now his voice is breaking a bit,,,,and you’ve never seen this side of him because you’ve always only know the vibrant bambam whose popular on campus for dabbing during lectures or getting the most likes on his instagram or hell being that kid at the party who drew a mustache on the president of the college’s portrait

you never knew there was this much self criticism within him and you put your hand out, pulling him forward so you can wrap your arms around his waist

and it shocks bambam, he drops the notebooks he was holding and he kind of hesitates with the warm feeling of your body pressed against his

and he’s like “it’s ok - p-please don’t pity me-”

and you muffle your words and he has to bend his head to hear

and you look up and you’re like “,,,,,,you may not be a genius but you’re not a loser bambam,,,,,,,,you’re such an open and lovely person,,,,,,,you have so much about you that people adore and are jealous of,,,”

bambam’s eyes widen a bit and he just chuckles and he’s like “no one is jealous of me-”

and you’re like “you’re wrong!! not a lot of people can be as friendly and as social as you without being fake or mean about it. you’re genuine with people,,,,,,,you put yourself out there and don’t show that you’re hurt,,,,you’re so strong i wish i could be like that too,,,,,,”

somehow you picture the bambam that you first met, who maybe your teacher didn’t like all that much, but who made the class laugh. who made the people around him happy.

no one had known he was harboring this look on himself and it hurt your heart to think you were too selfish in your thoughts to think of the other reason as to why bambam might have tried to push nichkhun toward you,,,,,,,,

you never imagined he could feel like he wasn’t good enough

and bambam hears you sniffle a bit you can’t believe you’re crying but imagining the smiles he’d have to fake or the thoughts that haunted him it makes you so sad

and you feel his warm finger press against your cheek, wiping the small tears that come down

and he’s like “i never thought someone as perfect as you would be jealous of me,,,,”

and you swallow and you’re like “i’m jealous, it’s true but that openness about you,,,,,,it makes me like you so so so much too”

this catches him off-guard once again and bambam let’s you go and points to his face in shock again and he’s like

“you like me?”

and you’re like “yes, which is why i would get pissed even more when you were like nichkhun this nichkhun that like i don’t like him dummy i like YOU”

blinking back in confusion bambam straightens his back and he’s like “huh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i can’t believe i beat hyung,,,,”

you roll your eyes and you’re like “is that really what you’re thinking about now?”

and bambam is like heY nichkhun is hard to beat like his has a face, money, a C A R and you’re like oh my god and you have the face too, plus the personality

and bambam raises an eyebrow and suddenly you can feel he’s back to his trickster self because he goes “are you sure you’re not just saying that because i complimented you so much?”

and you swat his arm you’re like “why,,,,,were those compliments a lie?” and bambam is like nO to be honest i should have laid it on more thick like when you would bend over to get something you dropped and i would be like hey that line of you-

and you put your hand over his mouth and you’re like don’t start

and he just grins under your hand and gives your palm a kiss and you’re like bAMBAM and he’s like what i can do that now because,,,,,,we’re gonna date right

you pretend to think about it for a bit and bambam is like omg don’t tell me you’re gonna reject me after all that c’mon ill get on my knees

and he literally does get on his knobby knees and you’re like bAMBAM GET UP and he’s like no ill stay like this till you say yes

and you’re like yeS YES fine yes i was going to say yes anyway

and bambam dabs because hell yeah you’re his s/o now

and you want to smack your face with your hand but you just settle for dabbing along with him beCAUSE WHY NOT YOUR BAMS OTHER HALF NOW YOU GOTTA MEME

amazingly the day is a lab and nichkhun comes by to hand out some gloves and bambam leans over and he’s like “hyung,,,,,,you lost your chance with the hottest person on campus because guess what they’re ALL MINE now” and he turns to wink at you

and you hide behind your notebook because gfhaljfghkfjsla he’s so corny

and nichkhun just grins and pats bambam’s shoulder and is like “if you need to borrow my car to take your sweetheart out for a date - just let me know”

and bambam is like OMG REALLY and nichkhun is like lmao no not really are you kidding i wouldn’t trust you with my water bottle i am not trusting you with my car

but you and bambam do have a first date,,,, a crazy one because bambam thinks it’s the brightest idea in the world to take you to a club

but it’s like why not you might as well let loose with your boyfriend it’s a friday anyway

but wow bambam cannot hold his drink and when he dances it’s like long limbs everywhere

but it doesn’t matter because the whole night he keeps you near him and you guys get matching light-up necklaces and bambam gets a hold of the djays mic at some point just to scream out i really rEALLY like you y/n

and you’re once again hiding behind your cup but gosh he’s cute ok

at the end of the night you meetup with jackson and yugyeom who were also there and they help carry bambam whose stumbling everywhere and when you drop the boys off at the dorm

bambam is like “goooooodbye kisssssss” and you’re like this is a first date ,,,,,,,,,,, but bambam is puckering his lips and he looks so silly that you just do it

and jackson is like AYEEEEE and yugyeom just winks at you because your little secret about how this wouldn’t have happened without him spilling the beans is still,,,,,a secret

and you learn that dating bambam is a RIDE but it’s never ever boring and he’s so full of affection

and the best part is he is so damn open about it to the point where it can get really embarrassing really fast

like you’ll be sitting with the study group for biochem majors and you’re there to help bambam with any chem stuff and he just looks over as you’re solving a problem

and brushes his hand over your shoulder and he’s like “so,,,nice,,,,,,,so soft,,,,,,,your skin is always glowing i want to kiss it let’s go somewhere where i can kiss it all i wan-”

and you’re like packing up your books dragging bambam away by the ear going bYEEEEE to the rest of the group

and you scold him to not be so Vocal about his Desires

but bambam just whines and he’s like b U UUUUU T I llllllOO OOVeeee you

and you’re like yes i love you too but im not going to go down to the music building open the door and go “I REALLY WANNA MAKEOUT WITH MY HOT BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW”

and bambam completely misses the point because he leans in and smirks and is like “is that what you wanna do? we can do tha-”

and you put your hand in his face and you’re like no we’re gonna study right now

jb thinks you’re a gift from God because you actually get bambam to study for his tests

and ever since he started dating you his grades have gone up

even though he isn’t 100% sure this is the major for him,,,,,he feels like he excels at it and you’re always cheering him on and that makes him wanna work even harder

also the fashion majors keep asking you to ask bambam if he’d consider being a model for them and you’re like you can ask him yourself he’s a really sweet guy and they’re like omg no he’s too cool

and you wanna laugh because they don’t know how much of an ACTUAL dork your boyfriend is

just because he wears a leather jacket and brand-names doesn’t mean he doesn’t try to do horrible aegyo for you to buy him ice-cream like

also bambam is the king of social media, we all know this and his snapchat story is just full of him getting you to try out the filters with him

and his sister always snaps back that she doesn’t get what bambam did to deserve someone like you who puts up with him

and bambam is like “because they love me um???????” and you’re like OTL i do,,,,,,and his sister is always like i wanna meet you!!!! so i can tell you all of bambam’s childhood secrets!!! and bambam is like sis i will block u don’t test me

but he also loves her and he’s always texting you pictures when he’s out shopping because he’s like “should i get this for baby??? she’d like it right?????”

but he ALSO sends pics of stuff and is like “i should get this for my mom”

you skyping his mom made bambam so nervous because he respects and loves her so much and he was like “ok ok ok if she doesn’t like you ill just have to,,,,,,,,dump you” and tbh you weren’t sure if he was joking or not the boy loves his family TO DEATH it’s soooo charming

but ofc his mom liked you and his sister liked you and bambam is like phew why did i worry you’re PERFECT so ofc they’d like you

jackson always comments on bambam’s couple ig posts of you guys as “lolololol my kids” and bambam is like im an adult and jackson is like “no you’re my son”

more on dork boyfriend bambam: when you two are passing by like a mirror or something he is like let’s stop and take a funny picture

and you either like poke each others face or stick your tongues out

and people are looking at you 2 like what in the world but you’re having fun

but don’t think bambam isn’t about that couple #aesthetic either like if you guys are wearing matching accessories there will be pictures taken. you guys get coffee together there will be pictures taken. you guys meet a cute puppy there will be pictures taken

and once you fell asleep with your head against his chest in a silent study hall and bambam took like a picture from above with his big hand around your shoulder and he captioned it something like ‘my sleeping beauty’ and jinyoung was like “take this down i report this for explicit pda content” and mark was like @jinyoung literally calm down

bambam over spoils you and you wish he’d stop but he kinda admits that he does it because he’s so scared of losing you for messing up he tries to compensate with presents

and you’re just like you have to hold his face and be like “you are never going to lose me, unless you do something really dumb. but i always want to be by your side”

and bambam nods, burying his face in your chest and it’s always a cute meaningful moment,,,,,,,,until you feel his hands on your butt and you’re like OK

when the teacher finds out you’re dating bambam (which is pretty early on bambam literally is like ‘this is my s/o’ and points at you for the whole class) he’s like “are you sure? about him?” and you’re like listen grandpa he’s my delightful slightly loud but still endearing boyfriend and i am 100% sure he will never hurt me so let. it. go.”

bambam is the kind of boyfriend who tries to stay up with you when you study but falls asleep and when he wakes up he apologizes and buys you an expensive breakfast and gets you a stuffed animal all because he slept

like he’s so nice ????? how are people mean to him i don’t understand

tries to get you more into fashion and thinks couple looks are sorta tacky he’s more into couple themes. like all black ft gold or something and he knows his stuff

your dates range from clubs, to cafes, to youngjae trying to teach the two of you how to play league and failing miserably, to expensive dinners because bambam is extra like that

couple spa days are a very big thing if you’re into that. if not, and you’re more an active person bambam will try sports for you. he might get hurt in the process, but for you - anything

you tried on some his rings and necklaces and stuff once and you were like “i wonder how heavy it would be if i put ALL of them on” you tried and it was heavy but bambam got a pic for insta

randomly buys you flowers and brings them to class and you can’t have flowers in the lab but you go outside of the lab and jump on him and cover him in kisses

and bambam always begs you to skip so you can go back to his dorm and ; ) but you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,,,no we have to go to lab

once you did say yes it was great and bambam was like i can’t believe you broke the rules and you were like it’s your fault. you and your super amazing face and pretty flowers

bambam: whose prettier my face or flowers

you: flowers

bambam: im calling the Police

recreates memes and sends them to you at like 2 am and you’re too tired to send anything back except a picture of kermit the frog on fire or something

match-made in heaven

yugyeom is still so proud of himself for making this happen. even if all he did was literally tell you bambam liked you on a blind date you were on with him which you agreed not to tell bambam because bambam would probably flip LOL

college!vixx (here) & college!bts (here) & college!seventeen (here)

find special college!jb (here), college!mark tuan (here) college!youngjae (here), college!jinyoung (here) & college!jackson (here)

find special college!amber (here)

find special college!wonho (here) , college!im (here), college!minhyuk (here), college!kihyun (here) , college!shownu (here) and college!hyungwon (here)

and please look forward to more special college!aus!

#got7 scenarios #got7 scenario #bambam scenario #bambam scenarios #kunpimook scenario #kunpimook scenarios #got7 #bambam #College!AU #sfw #college!au x got7 #got7 imagines #bambam imagines #this is so long i actually love him a lot

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themadcapmathematician · 7 years

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all i know abt transformers is the shia movie and the fact that darren criss plays one in the cartoons i think? should i get into transformers is what i'm asking

Oh god this is my favorite question. I’m not sure how to answer it but its my fave. Pull up a chair. I hope you’ve got some time on your hands.

The short answer: yes. You should at least give it a try. Transformers is a 30+ year old muti-media franchise that gets rebooted almost every 3 years so it basically has something interesting to offer almost any fan. If you end up not liking it that’s cool but there’s a lot to try before you decide.

The long answer is: yes you should and here’s why and here’s a rough idea of all the options you have to sample. I’m about to go on a long rant anon so you can check it out now or later or whatever but I’m just warning you ahead of time.

The basic Transformers plot (which I’m sure you know but I’m gonna go more in depth in a minute) is that a race of giant robot aliens who can turn into vehicles and other things have been engaged in a civil war that has lasted millions of years. This is the basic plot that all tf franchises spawn from although some explore slightly different subject matters. If that doesn’t appeal to you I mean there /might/ be a few other things you might find worth sticking around for because there’s just so fucking much of it, but you’re welcome to turn back now because that’s the basic things tf has to offer: giant robot aliens, cars and planes, fighting, some drama. Those are what tf is best at, with some variation.

It has a very active and long lived fan base and each section of the fan base is interested in different stuff with some crossover. There are people who literally only care about collecting the toys, people who wont try any other series except g1, people who only like the comics, etc. Etc. You’ll probably find people who like what you do pretty readily. If you like the toys there are toy forums and blogs. If you like the cartoons there are forums and blogs made for that too. If you like the comics, same. There’s a pretty active following of the comics and cartoon series on Tumblr alone; I would try searching the #maccadam tag since most tf activity has been moved there since the bay movies came out. Id also use the tf wiki liberally because it has pm all the information you’ll need to know about the fandom and the canon lore. There’s also plenty of fan fiction on Ao3 and ff.net if you’re into that and pm anyplace that hosts fan art has tf fan art.

Now there are several series, including comics, cartoons, the Michael bay films, the cartoon movie, spin off books, and video games. I’m gonna go over my personal favorites because I like and know them best but there are more than these if you’re interested in digging deeper.

(More under the cut)

G1: there are a lot of forms of what fans refer to as Generation 1 or G1 but if you live in the US its likely they’re talking about the very first cartoon series.

Summary: the autobots and the decepticons stripped their planet of resources and went looking for a new planet to continue surviving on. They both crashlanded on earth where they lay dormant for millions of years until conveniently awakened somewhere during the 1980s, where they continue their war all over again

Why you should try it: listen its cheesy as hell and full of nonsense plotlines and animation errors but not only is it good fun but at least watching an episode or two might give you a decent grasp on what spawned this enormous franchise in the first place.

G1 movie: this movie was a game changer. Its technically right in the middle of the g1 cartoon but it works as a standalone film too. while it has many trappings of the cartoon its better animated and has a more consistent and dramatic story.

Summary: Optimus Prime and Megatron fight, OP dies (yes he fucking DIES for the very first time. thousands of 10 year olds bawl their eyes out), Megatron gets mortally wounded, and the Matrix of Leadership (aka an autobot holy item/macguffin [this is the proto-cube btw]) has to choose a new leader.

Why you should try it: decent animation, classics lines, tons of 80s rock music, and it establishes a lot of tf conventions that would be carried over to all series that come after it.

Beast Wars: haha the 90s couldn’t be left out of the transformers fun, now could it? This was one of the first all-cg cartoon series in history and while its not much to look at nowadays, it was a big step in the 90s.

Summary: the series doesn’t center on Optimus Prime and Megatron but their decendants. The war is long over but some factions are starting to clash once again. Several members of these factions do the whole “crash land on earth while fighting” thing except they wake up during times before humans and instead of taking vehicle modes, they take animal forms, thus the name.

Why you should give it a try: it establishes the idea of Sparks for the first time, it has historical significance in the cgi realm, and it has a decent storyline with interesting characters. If you can muscle through the 90s-computer-animation look it might be the show for you!

Transformers: Animated: I dont think its a secret that this is one of my favorite tf series of all times. It was the first cartoon series I ever watched of tf and it also features my favorite toy line.

Summary: Optimus Prime is much less a war hero and more of a ..janitor really. He flunked out of the academy and spends his time repairing space bridges. One time during repairs though, they stumble across the Cube and just their luck, Megatron and some nearby cons are looking for it. They portal away to earth where they, you guessed it, crashland, until they’re awoken sometime in the future and go on adventures in futuristic Detroit.

Why you should give it a try: I like tfa’s art style and story and characterisation best tbh; Optimus is younger and more unsure of himself but also more earnest, with more visible baggage. The rest of his team feel like a ragtag band of misfits (which I have a weakness for no lie lmfao) who are still trying to find their place in this conflict and the future ahead of them. Sari is also one of the more beloved human companions and the show’s take on classics characters feels fresh and interesting, and the interpretation of the autobots and decepticons themselves is surprisingly nuanced.

Transformers: Prime: remember that 90s animation? Kiss that shit good bye my friend. This cgi is some beautiful shit. More than a few fans wish tfp is the art direction the movies had taken, storyline aside.

Summary: the autobots are already on earth, staking it out and fighting a more subdued sort of conflict with the cons. One day they get some human kids involved and stumble across some conspiracy shit and it all spirals out of control from there.

Why you should give it a try: great animation and atmosphere, gorgeous character designs, a solid interpretation go the characters, and it offers a more serious take on the story over all.

Rescue Bots: I’ve noticed this show doesn’t make the list a lot which is a shame? It has a much younger audience than any of then other series but its still quality and one of my fave tf series.

Summary: the ship of four non-combatants who were left in stasis before the war detect a transmission telling autobots to go to earth, so it…goes to earth. There they wake up on some island and are told they’ve gotta start building a repatoire with the native species…but they can’t reveal that they’re sentient aliens yet.

Why you should give it a try: ok ok, most of the series are made for 7-12 year olds with the teen and adult fans sort of in mind, this show…is a show made for pre-K kids, no joke. Its a lot less…murder-y, and this is especially saying something because it came out at the same time TFP did and in fact is supposed to take place in the same universe!

BUT, but it has a consistently well-written story and characterization, it addresses stuff I never thought it would, and its a nice break from the ridiculously high stakes of the other series. Honestly Rescue Bots is great and I wish more people talked about it because its a series totally worth watching, certainly as much as any of the others.

More Than Meets the Eye comics: there are a lot of comic series but so far this is my favorite one lol

Summary: the war is over, Optimus is done with everyone’s shit and splits the matrix in half, giving one to rodimus and they other to bumblebee. And what does roddy do with his newfound matrix half? Decide he’s going on a quest of course! And who better to go with than literally every unqualified misfit the autobot and neutral factions have to offer?

Why you should give it a try: ridiculous shenanigans, horror, drama, intrigue, strong characterisation, and a killer aesthetic. Damn it may not always give me what I want but its got a lot of exactly what I’m always looking for.

There are some video games (Fall of Cybertron, War For Cybertron, Transformers: Devastation), other comic series (Robots in Disguise, G1/UK comics), and the Robots in Disguise cartoon, however I don’t have a decent enough grasp on them to describe them super well I just know they’re pretty good and have had people recommend them to me. You’re welcome to try those as well of course.

Also if you’re into toy collecting or want to get into it there’s a lot of materials you can read and such but my personal advice is pretty simple:

1) go to walmart, target, a store that sells collectibles, a convention, or a garage sale

2) buy a cheap toy that you like. Don’t spend over like $20

3) decide if that was a fun experience or not and if you like having this toy or not

If you liked it enough to keep buying, then congrats, toy collecting might be right for you! Do your research, Don’t blow too much money too quickly, take it easy, have fun.

But yeah sorry this is really long but I do hope you consider giving transformers a try since I know I love it a lot and it really has a lot to offer. I hope this wasn’t like…a crazy response. That a crazy person might give. And that I didn’t scare you away or anything XS

the key is to try some stuff and have fun and if its not your thing that’s cool too! Have a chill night anon

#transformers #maccadam #anon #madcap rants #madcap replies #tf #info

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sleepinglightt · 7 years

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Aesthetic themed ask. All of them or just the ones you want to answer.

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?I’m not sure, I sing all of the time tbh

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?I’d wanna know if I’ll ever be successful or not

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?I haven’t really accomplished anything yet, I’m kinda boring tbh 🙃

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?When my girlfriend asked me out 💕 it was so cute and she’s perfect oml

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? I’d make sure I payed more attention to the people I love the most, I have a tendency to shut people out and I don’t like doing that but it happens ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?I do! #1 would be to move to Washington state #2 is going to see the Aurora borealis #3 is to be a foster mom for an animal shelter

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.I’m only super close to a couple of people in my life. I feel like I should describe my girlfriend though bc she’s one of the closest. She’s honestly like my best friend, I feel like I can tell her anything. She has short hair and the cutest little gap between her front teeth. Her eyes are so gorgeous and she wears glasses. She has the most beautiful personality and she always knows how to make me laugh. I could sit and listen to her talk for hours and not get bored. She makes me so incredibly happy and I’m so lucky to have met her.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?Hell no lmao

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?About a week ago I think

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.Once again my girlfriend, bc i know she would like doing that and we could sit and talk about whatever and just have a great time.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?No, I don’t really open up to strangers. It takes me a loooooong time to open up to someone.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?I don’t know when my last 3am conversation was, I normally go to sleep before then 🙃

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?I’d wanna say I love you to my grandma because honestly she has done so much for me.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?I love brown eyes, they’re so pretty.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.“These cuts that I’ve caused are never to deep to heal”, it’s from an Emarosa song and it just reminds me that even though I’ve self harmed I’ll always get better and I’ll always heal mentally and physically.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?“Life sucks but hey I’m not dead yet”

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?I’d probably buy a cute little house with a big back yard and buy my wife a gorgeous ring and I’d donate some money to animal shelters and such

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?I’m very very forgiving. Someone can do something really bad to me and I always forgive them. I love being this way, I hate holding grudges

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. I’m gonna skip this one bc I don’t think anyone would wanna read this 😂

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?Punk I guess?

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.I love both, I’m probably gonna get a ton of tattoos. I love the way piercings look but I only want my nose pierced.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?I wear what some people would qualify as “ a lot” but I like wearing it bc it’s kinda like art to me idk

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.Of mice & men helped me get through my middle school years bc I could relate to a lot of the lyrics. I don’t listen to them anymore but they still had a big impact on me and helped me out a lot.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.I wouldn’t be able to say anything I’d probably just cry.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.I haven’t been to any real concerts yet 🙃 I’m lame

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?I think it’d be really cool to get a letter from David Bowie (even though he passed away) and he could write anything and I’d cry tbh he’s great and he’s honestly my idolspace: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?My work space is never organized. I kinda just have everything everywhere and I’m too lazy to fix it.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?I take a shower, take off my make up and contacts, and then lay in bed for 3 hours texting and on tumblr

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?How gay I ACTUALLY am

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?My hair is already red, but I wish i had the balls to cut it really short.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?My 2 best friends, my girlfriend, and I can’t think of another 2. But I’d wanna go somewhere really pretty, like the pictures I reblog on here lmao

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.1.Getting married to the girl of my dreams 2. Owning a cute little coffee shop because I love coffee and it would be nice to own one I guess? Idek man 3. Being able to not worry about anything, because I worry too much

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.I really really wanna be Katya for Halloween one year

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?I’ve never been drunk or high 🙃

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?Kill an animal or a person. I couldn’t do it.

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?This one is really hard. I guess I’d only wanna listen to northern wind by city and colour because that song calms me down when I’m anxious and there’s several people I’d miss if I could only see one person :/

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.I have fallen in love. And it’s the best feeling but it’s also really stressful bc you never know if the other person is in love with you

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?I wish I could rock really really short hair, I love short hair. It’s super cute but I love my long hair lol

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?I recently have been loving the sweet vanilla cold brew with 3 brown sugars. It so good 10/10 would recommend. I’d trust my bestfriends and my girlfriend to order it but that’s it.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?My relationship with my girlfriend. She’s my #1 priority.

#asks

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