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skepsiss · 6 months

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Modern problems Modern solution - pt6

Did a little poll and like 60% of you wanted part 6 of this mini-series. So! Here it is! I actually really enjoyed how I ended this part and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

CW: Excessive swearing, lying/betrayal

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5 Pt6 Pt7

Eddie skipped school on Friday. He hadn’t even come up with an excuse and he didn’t want to get up to go outside so Wayne wouldn’t know, that felt like it involved too much energy, and he didn’t have that in him right now. Wayne had tried to talk to him about it but Eddie hadn’t given him anything to work with. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it or have to do anything related to Steve or school or D&D.

He’d felt like this before. He’d felt worn down and dark like there was gauze wrapped around his brain. He didn’t care what his friends thought or about ‘making peace’ with the incident so they could both move on. He just wanted it all to go away. He wanted the world to stop for a while or to let him side-step into a demi-plane so he could recoup; maybe when he came back everyone he had known would be gone and he wouldn’t have to deal with any of this ever again.

Even in his darkness, Eddie knew that wasn’t what he really wanted. He didn’t want to lose Uncle Wayne or his friends, his shitty grades that would allow him to graduate, or Hellfire. He didn’t want to lose any of it, but everything he cared about seemed to be putting more and more pressure on his mind and it had finally bottomed out.

He had even gone as far as to turn his phone off and ignore any attempt at texting or messaging. He didn’t want to get overwhelmed again. He didn’t want to make another mistake. He wasn’t moody about it anymore anyway, he didn’t have the energy to stay mad, he was just miserable.

Eddie wasn’t even upset about his pride being bruised, it didn’t matter if Steve liked him, but everything else that came along with their fight was constantly spiking his fight-or-flight response. It just felt like he was a live-wire and people were constantly throwing water on him; drowning him with words and emotions and things he didn’t want to think about. It was just too much. It was all too much.

Maybe he was insane. Maybe he was all those drastic and terrible things people said about him after all.

It all just felt so bleak.

Eddie showered Saturday afternoon and it had helped him feel a bit better. At least he was clean, even if he felt like he wanted a shower for his brain too to clear everything out of there. The wonders of water and the prospect of leaving his mind fresh and new so every bit of bad news could just slide off felt tantalizing.

Eddie had felt childish and he wouldn’t admit to it, but it had helped tremendously when Wayne had walked into his room with from-the-box chicken strips. They always kind of sucked, but there was something comforting about them as he just sat on his bed eating slowly for what felt like the first time in days.

Wayne had told him he was going to the laundromat and had helped change the sheets on Eddie’s bed so he could wash them. It felt a bit early in the month for that, but Eddie hadn’t said anything as they put the new linens on and he had crawled on top of his duvet.

Clean body. Clean bed. It was little, but it felt like it made a difference in some small way.

Eddie had spent Sunday rallying and practicing guitar all day, ignoring the mountain of homework he had. It wasn’t normal for him, but come Monday morning he had gone into the counselor’s office at school and asked to go to the learning center all day. There had been some waffling, but eventually, his counselor had agreed to tell all his teachers not to mark him as absent for the day and had organized for Eddie to sit through his school day with his head down in the special education room. He had just one block here last year, but it wasn’t unheard of for someone to be in the class all day. It helped him catch up on some work and he always felt a little less scrutinized when he asked for help from the aids in the room when he didn’t understand something instead of asking in class. It was just quiet work where he was allowed to listen to music on his old iPod and soon enough the school day was over.

Eddie had lingered in the classroom well after the bell in the hopes that he could avoid seeing anyone in the hallways. He wasn’t ready to talk to people yet, he didn’t feel like he had the proper face on to be mean or pleasant or anything in between.

He left when he caught the aid stealing glances at him, reading her body language as if she was asking if he was going to be here for much longer. She probably wanted to go home, but wasn’t allowed to if he was here still. So he packed up and left, his skin prickling as he walked through the halls.

To his surprise–and perhaps relief–he had spotted Dustin in the hallways moving somewhat aimlessly by his locker. He had expected horror to build in his chest and plow through him upon seeing anyone he knew, but he was surprised to find that he felt… good seeing his friend. Especially as Dustin turned and smiled at him with his gappy grin. He had always found Dustin’s smile incredibly endearing in the dorkiest way possible.

“You are here today!” Dustin exclaimed, wagging his phone at Eddie. “Benson said he thought he saw you in the office this morning. You didn’t answer my texts.”

Eddie shrugged, finding it much easier to talk than he thought. He watched as Dustin tapped away at his phone quickly, probably sending a message before he pocketed the device.

“I left my phone at home,” he offered, telling the truth, but not wanting to elaborate on how that had been purposeful. “What’s up, man?”

The sound of squeaking shoes caught Eddie’s attention and he half turned to see Mike screeching down the hallway toward him, Gareth not far behind. They were both hustling and Eddie tried not to let the twitch of his lips show as he saw them. A small part of him felt touched that they both looked so eager to see him.

“Hey–” Mike offered breathlessly, which Eddie raised an eyebrow at.

“Uh, hey, you two planning on taking a point in athletics or something?” He teased gently, not expecting a proper answer. He noticed Mike look over his shoulder at Dustin, the flick of his eyes subtle but strange.

Eddie felt unease creeping into his shoulders as he looked back at Dustin, looking for something to latch onto so the awkwardness could pass.

“Hey, man, it’s uh…” Gareth swallowed, still catching his breath. “Sorry, it’s good to see you–” “Yeah, okay, mush-mush, what’s going on?” Eddie asked, sounding a touch defensive.

“Mr. Shroud confiscated Gareth’s phone and locked it in his desk drawer,” Dustin interjected quickly, sounding put out.

“Yeah uh… we thought well, you’re the only person we know who can pick locks,” Mike explained, sucking in a breath, still sounding a touch winded.

Eddie pinched his brows in at that, feeling a touch weird about being sought out for something like this but they weren’t wrong. Eddie had practiced all summer in 10th grade to learn how to pick locks and had proudly showed off the skill to his friends when he had mastered it. It was surprisingly the least helpful and most helpful skill he had.

“My mom is going to kill me,” Gareth explained, which made Eddie sigh.

“Yeah, okay,” he answered, starting to walk in the direction of the science hall where Mr. Shroud’s classroom was. “I don’t have anything with me though, I might not be able to do it.”

“At least try,” Dustin explained, walking with Eddie as Mike and Gareth fell in behind them. “I said I would,” Eddie huffed, putting on a fake tone of annoyance. “Do any of you have a ballpoint pen? And like a card, like a gift card or something like that. A flat piece of plastic?”

Gareth started to pat himself down as they walked, the door to the classroom open as Eddie rattled off potential alternatives to gift cards and pens that might work to open the lock. He really wasn’t sure what he was dealing with but he felt more at ease being about to do something rather than just keep up small-talk.

They stepped into the classroom and Eddie moved towards the desk at the front of the room before he noticed something out of his peripheral and looked up. He froze in place and his stomach dropped as he saw Steve with his arms crossed leaning against one of the desks in the back of the classroom. Steve seemed to perk up at seeing Eddie, straightening his posture as Eddie felt his chest tighten with anxiety.

The jingle of metal caught his attention and Eddie glanced at the door only to see it closing. That spurred him out of his stupor and Eddie scrambled to the door only to have it slam tightly in his face, the rattling of metal muffled through the door. He grabbed at the handle to yank it open, but the doorknob wouldn’t budge.

Locked.

“Asshole!” Eddie yelled, slamming his hand against the doorframe as he stood up on his toes to see through the little window in the door.

Dustin, Mike, and Gareth looked horrified as they backed away from the door as Eddie caught sight of the keys in Dustin’s hand. “You fucking assholes! Open the door!” Eddie yelled, grabbing the door handle and jiggling it again. Stupid, fucking, anti-school-shooter locks—

“I’m sorry!” Dustin said his words rushed, still backing up.

“Mike—Gareth!” Eddie shouted, trying to speak to them through the glass.

“Ten minutes, Eddie!” Mike breathed, looking anxious, “just ten minutes, man!”

“It’s for–just listen to him,” Gareth stuttered before the three boys turned on their heels and disappeared down the hallway.

“I’m going to kill you!” Eddie hollered as a last attempt, trying to see where they had gone before he slumped against the door.

The horror of the situation caught up to him slowly and he stole a glance towards Steve who was standing stock still with his hands at his side. He looked tense, but Eddie didn’t have time to process that as his own emotions flooded into him.

He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to talk. What the hell was this supposed to be–he couldn’t handle this.

Eddie groaned and ducked down to break line of sight with Steve and squatted for a moment before lamely crawling on all fours towards the teacher’s desk. He was hiding, but it felt like the only thing he could do as his hands and knees got dusty from the filthy school floors. He holed up in the footwell of the desk feeling terribly small.

Ten minutes. Ten minutes… those assholes better come back in ten minutes. Fuck friendship. Fuck those guys to hell.

“Eddie?”

Eddie heard Steve speak and it made him groan. He could hear him moving slowly toward the front of the classroom.

Eddie tucked into himself, holding his knees to his chest as he hide like a fucking child. He didn’t even care how lame this was, he couldn’t deal with this right now. “Just leave me alone,” Eddie muttered miserably which made the shuffling of Steve’s shoes stop.

It was quiet for a few beats and Eddie could feel his brain slowing down a bit with the silence around him. It had felt like he was being hunted before this like he was some scared little bird hyperventilating in the jaws of a cat. He was bigger than this though, better than this, he didn’t have to deal with this.

Eddie fumbled quietly with his headphones, trying to pull out the device without making a ruckus. He’d just drown everything out with metal and wait. That was like 2 Iron Maiden songs, tops.

“Sorry for ambushing you,” Steve said and Eddie stopped moving for a moment.

“It was Dustin’s idea, he thought that–never mind. Sorry for ambushing you.”

Steve’s tone was gentle and it made Eddie pause long enough to think about what he was doing here. Well, not what so much as why, but it made him think. Steve hated him. Steve was a jerk who had spent the last several weeks gossiping about him and making his life a living hell. What benefit did he get out of being locked in a classroom? What reason would Dustin have for locking them in here together?

Eddie fiddled with his headphones for a moment, just looking at his fingers as he untied the knotted cord, cowering under the desk.

“I’m going to kill Henderson when I get out of here,” Eddie muttered quietly, which got a very small breathy laugh from Steve.

“Yeah, he uh…” Steve started, hesitating as Eddie listened quietly, “he means well… I knew this was a bad idea.”

“Scheme,” Eddie corrected quietly, “was a bad scheme.”

“Scheme,” Steve repeated back, a fraction of levity entering his tone.

They fell quiet again as Eddie rested his chin on his knees, still tucked up in the desk’s footwell. This was such a profound betrayal, but Eddie didn’t have the energy to hold onto his anger. He was just scared. He was just worn down and scared and he wanted more than anything to fade into obscurity.

“He…” Steve started again which made Eddie curl in more, not wanting to deal with another onslaught of emotions.

“Dustin, he came over to my place this weekend,” Steve explained, which felt pointless to mention but Eddie didn’t have the energy to tell Steve to shut up.

“He uh… interrogated me,” Steve chuckled quietly, which made Eddie lift his head and look at the plywood behind him. It was a shitty old desk, and he could see Steve marginally through the cracks in the woodwork where the backing didn’t quite meet the surface of the desk.

“It… he told me what you said, to the guys, to Hellfire.”

That made Eddie curl in again, and he buried his face in his knees. Told him what he said–that could only mean one thing. He didn’t want to talk about this. Eddie didn’t want to be scolded for being an asshole or an idiot or whatever the hell was going to be said to him. You’re allowed to be mad, but don’t be a dick to my friends. Dustin declared that he was officially jumping ship and none of the guys want to be friends with you anymore. You’re a stupid, naive, petty person who no one wants around.

“Sorry,” Steve said and Eddie frowned deeply, something punching into his chest at the word.

“I didn’t realize that… I came across like that. Sorry,” Steve repeated and Eddie felt his nostril flare as his emotions bubbled up.

What did that mean? He didn’t mean to come across like that? Come across like what? An asshole? He didn’t mean to be an asshole while he was being an asshole?

“I think I was drunk and–no, well, I was drunk and I didn’t realize–” “I don’t want to hear an ‘I was drunk’ excuse,” Eddie interrupted, unable to hold his tongue as he wiped at his face, catching the first of his tears. He had to keep it together. He probably had five minutes left he had to endure.

“You’re right, I… sorry, I’m not trying to give an excuse,” Steve swallowed, his voice tilting in a way Eddie couldn’t place. He sounded pained or something like that so Eddie stole another glance through the gap to look at Steve.

He was standing with his arms crossed again, his butt pressed up against the first row of student desks so he could lean. He looked rigid despite his posture and his head was hung with the deepest frown on his face that Eddie had ever seen.

“I’m sorry, Eddie,” Steve repeated, “I thought you knew and I thought you were laughing at me.”

“You thought I was laughing at you?” Eddie blurted, his tone harsh as he turned in the footwell of the desk and banged his elbow on the side of it.

“Ow–fucker,” he mumbled, watching as Steve stood up again and looked at the desk with mild concern. He looked so soft standing there, unsure of what to do as his hands flexed and unflexed at his side. He had thought Steve was laughing at him–poking fun, being an asshole–but it was hard to believe that now staring at him and how… concerned he looked.

“Knew what?” Eddie mumbled quietly, Steve’s words catching up to him. He didn’t answer right away, so Eddie repeated them a little clearer. “You thought I knew what?”

Steve breathed another laugh, looking away from the desk. Eddie was starting to realize that Steve laughed a lot when he was nervous; he’d laugh and roll his eyes and rub his upper lip, and he was doing all of that right now.

Steve started to swing his arms backward and forward like he had been at the dance, clasping them in front of himself and then behind as if to settle his nerves. The gentle sound of his hands meeting was the only noise in the room for a long while.

“Eddie, I…” Steve swallowed, and sucked in a breath, “I tried to kiss you. Isn’t it obvious?”

Eddie frowned again, holding his knees to his chest.

“Isn’t what obvious?” He asked. “That you’re horny?”

Steve snorted loudly, seemingly caught off guard by the comment and actually amused by it. It didn’t feel harsh though, not like it had on Halloween, and that made Eddie’s lips twitch.

“No, Eddie, I mean–sure, but that’s not what I’m getting at,” Steve sighed, the sound exaggerated and verging on humorous, “I like you, Eddie…”

Eddie waited for the last bit of the sentence, that and that was hanging in the air. I like you and I want to stay friends. And I want you to forgive me. And I still think you’re a jerk.

“Yeah, okay, and?” Eddie asked, huffing a bit, feeling like he just needed to rip the bandaid off.

Steve went quiet again and his clapping stopped. Eddie could hear his feed shuffling closer to the desk and that made him tense, not sure what to expect.

“No, Eddie…” Steve said, sounding exasperated, “Eddie, I like you. I like you as in… as in I tried to kiss you.”

The silence seemed to draw out forever as Eddie processed those words and how they fit into all of this. He knew what that meant, but he couldn’t help but wonder what he meant by it all. It was as if those words just wouldn’t fit through the pegs in his mind. Steve liked him? Steve liked him. Steve had tried to kiss him. Steve–

“You like me?” Eddie exclaimed, his voice shrill as he turned abruptly under the desk, banging his head on the underside of it.

“Ow—fucker!” Eddie yelled, putting his hands over his head, and kneeling low, practically bowing as his emotions washed over him.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, that concern back in his voice as Eddie heard his shoes squeaking on the linoleum.

“Yeah…” Eddie mumbled, not lifting his head, “just… knocking some sense into my stupid fucking brain…”

All of this… all of this and he had assumed the worst. He had assumed Steve was making fun of him over a mistaken identity, that Eddie wasn’t anywhere near good enough to be noticed by him; he had assumed he was spreading rumours and lies and pitting their friends against him. He had assumed Steve was the biggest asshole, creep in the world and he had….

Eddie groaned as he recalled all the shitty things he had said to Jeff. How he had called Robin a dyke and probably a cunt, and then skipped school and loafed around in bed like some kind of Victorian poet.

Fuck.

“You sure you’re okay?” Steve asked. Eddie could hear him swallowing and he realised that Steve’s previous statement was hanging in the air.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbled, his voice quiet as he pushed past his bruised ego. “Sorry… I… I really didn’t know…”

He felt guilty, but he also felt defensive as if he wanted to scold Steve for not making it more obvious, but that didn’t feel like it would get him anywhere. God… he was such a loser.

“Are you sure?” Eddie asked, sighing heavily.

“Am I sure… what?”

“You sure you like me?” Eddie lamented. “Cause I’m the full package if that means the package includes me being a jerk with a laundry list of issues. Jam-packed. Overflowing.” Eddie was self deprecating, but it felt like the only thing he could do. He needed to reduce the blow and take the shine away from Steve saying that he liked him. He didn’t feel like he deserved that. He didn’t deserve that. He had been a total ass. No wonder Steve had looked so bothered when Eddie had told him to share his thoughts, he had assumed Eddie was making him confess so he could spit in his face.

What did he say now? Eddie had stamped his emotions down so fully and had only let himself be angry or sad that he wasn’t sure how he felt anymore. He could remember feeling heartbroken when he realized–when he had assumed–that Steve had mistook him for someone else and tried to kiss him.

“I’m so stupid,” Eddie groaned, his voice barely above a whisper.

Steve hesitated before he answered, but his answer made Eddie’s stomach flip anyway.

“I don’t think so…” Steve replied quietly before falling silent again.

“Stop being so charming,” Eddie huffed, sounding put out and trying to sound sarcastic to lighten the mood, “you’re going to make me combust.”

Steve laughed lightly again and Eddie loosened the grip he had on his own head, instead resting against his thighs, breathing deeply.

“There’s…” Eddie started, his voice wavering a bit, “there’s room for… one more under here.” He swallowed thick at his phrasing, feeling stupid and unsure how to extend the olive branch.

“Yeah?” Steve asked, sounding amused, if a little nervous as well. “Okay.”

Eddie shifted as he heard Steve’s shoes shuffling, adjusting himself so he was sitting with his back against one of the stacks of drawers, still hiding. “Hey…” Steve said quietly as he crouched down before sitting with his back against the other set of drawers so they could look at one another. They were sitting horizontally to one another, which allowed Eddie to keep his gaze downcast while not closing himself off to Steve completely.

“Hey…” Eddie replied softly, letting his eyes flick up. He looked away quickly again when he caught the expression on Steve’s face. How soft it was with his little smile and his brows pinched in with uncertainty. “Sorry… sorry about all that... this…” Eddie repeated, pushing a dust bunny with his fingers and regretting it before wiping his hand on his pants. “Yeah, me too. Sorry,” Steve offered, letting his legs stretch out so one of them was against the drawers Eddie was leaning on and the other was stretched out in front of the desk. “Those twerps should be back any minute.”

Eddie hummed quietly, pulling his knees up and draping his arm over them so he could rest his chin on his forearm.

“I’m still going to kill them…” Eddie said softly, no real punch to his voice.

Steve chuckled once again, the silence following the sound feeling much more comfortable than it had previously.

“I think I might…” Eddie started, turning his head to look at the plywood backing of the desk, not able to look at Steve, “I don’t know… I have a lot to… process. I–sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Steve answered easily, gently, which made the butterflies turn in Eddie’s stomach.

“Can I… can I call you–or text you… later?” Eddie asked, pressing his lips together and closing his eyes, nervous energy pulsing into his veins.

“Yeah–for sure,” Steve replied, sounding a bit too eager which made Eddie laugh a bit. He was charmed and maybe he was blushing, but he didn’t want to share that if he was. He still felt like a dickweed and he wasn’t really sure how to move forward.

The door to the classroom unlocked and Eddie looked up, hearing the jingle of keys and footsteps.

“Down here,” Steve said quietly, before grunting and pulling himself up. “What’re…” Eddie heard Mike ask before he himself was crawling out from under the desk and brushing the dust off his knees.

“Don’t worry about it,” Eddie huffed, standing up properly and not looking at any of them square in the face.

“So, did it work?” Dustin asked.

“Uh–” Steve offered, glancing at Eddie. He gave a nod and an eye-roll, not willing to be all soft and tender in front of everyone here.

“It worked?” Gareth asked from the doorway as Dustin rushed up to Steve to point in his face.

“I told you! I told you!” he said eagerly, which made Eddie’s lips twitch. He moved without thinking as he pushed Dustin’s hat down over his eyes and hooked him into a headlock.

“Eddie!” Dustin shrieked, twisting so he was facing the same direction as Eddie, but unable to get loose. “I’m skinning all of you,” Eddie declared, pointing at the other two boys as he walked with Dustin stuck under his arm, moving out into the hallway.

“You’re all fucking mincemeat!”

–

Eddie flopped onto his bed, face down and arms out to the side. He felt exhausted. He felt like he had just endured the worst triathlon-gym-bullshit ever invented. He had walked home so he could think, but honestly, he had barely any brain power left to think after everything that happened at the school. He hadn’t really let those emotions sink in yet, but he breathed out his exhaustion and rolled onto his side now, letting them settle.

Steve liked him.

Steve had confessed to him….

He wasn’t thinking about what happened on Halloween and instead just letting himself feel this as butterflies and possibly fucking Mothra fluttered around in his chest. He had never had a boy confess to him before.

Eddie pushed his face into his mattress, hiding his smile from God knows who, and urged himself to calm down. He sighed out his affections and then Army-crawled his way up the bed to his nightstand so he could grab his phone. He turned it on and rolled onto his back, waiting for it to boot back up through the loading screen. Dustin said he had tried to text him, so he should probably clean out his inbox so that annoying little ‘1’ icon didn’t drive him insane.

As the lock screen loaded Eddie moved to punch in his passcode before a notification popped up.

Dustin: You at school?

Almost instantly another popped up, his phone vibrating.

Mike: You here today?

Another message from Dustin appeared, and then another, slowly his phone was getting overwhelmed by notification after notification as Eddie watched with mounting shock at the messages streaming in.

Jeff: You okay?

Will: Didn’t see you at school today.

Missed call. Missed call. Missed call. Missed call.

Dustin: Answer your phone.

Dustin: Eddie, call me.

Benson: Want to practice today?

Gareth: What’s up?

Uncle Wayne: Your friend called me, you should….

Lucas: Dustin told me what happened, you….

Dustin: Don’t kill me but I think you want to hear….

Mike: You free after school Monday?

Gareth: 🔫 answer your phone.

Dustin: I think there was a mix-up. Call me.

Jeff: Out with Benson, you should join. Movie at….

Steve: Can we talk?

Notification after notification popped up on his phone and filled his screen, not even allowing him to unlock the damn thing before the next one was dinging. Text after text, message after message from any platform Eddie checked. It didn’t stop for a while and Eddie couldn’t help it as his lips pressed together and he held back a happy laugh. Everyone had been trying to get a hold of him all weekend… all fucking weekend.

Eddie barked a laugh, and wiped under his nose, as he felt his eyes prickling with tears. He stopped them before they fell but he was still smiling as he rolled onto his side as his phone finally quieted down.

God… it felt good to have everyone care so much.

Pt7 final part

#my_writing #y'all ever love your friends so much it makes you teary?#but also you hate them cause they're assholes?#Steve is literally the softest cutest boy alive #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie fic #my writing #stranger things #steve x eddie #steve and dustin

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