#the drink in cleo's hand is called a zombie

[uhohbestie]

I've been thinking about this for days.

(Original inspo below cut!)

#limited life #limited life smp #trafficblr #zombiecleo #traffic smp #life series #mcyt #key art #the drink in cleo's hand is called a zombie #lock told me that's what I should draw JHGFDSKAD AHAHAHA

[swamp-chicken]

(sees that the option for cletho is open!!!!!)

for the writing prompt: cletho with "getting tipsy on eggnog and/or mulled wine" + "secret"

another drink // 551 words

“What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?” Cleo set her solo cup down sloppily, her drink splashing over the edge.

“The… hermit new years party?” Etho squinted. “I was invited, the same as you.”

Cleo stumbled into the chair next to Etho and leaned forward, studying Etho’s face.

“Bdubs dragged you along.”

“Bdubs dragged me along,” Etho confirmed. “What brings a zombie like you over to this quiet table in the corner?”

“Jevin’s being mean,” Cleo pouted.

“Don’t you kind of… like that?”

Cleo shook her head vehemently. “Not in the mood tonight! But tomorrow… oh, tomorrow he’s got another thing coming.” Her fingers tightened on her drink, and Etho was alarmed to note the plastic fracturing.

Cleo pulled her hand away, her drink leaking out of the crack and on to the table. “Oops,” she said. “Well, there wasn’t much left.”

“Want me to get you another one?” Etho offered.

“Only if you’ll have one with me!”

Etho had been nursing his drink all night, but he nodded hesitantly. “I can do that. Eggnog or mulled wine?”

“Wine, please!”

Etho crossed the room to the refreshment table, ladling mulled wine into fresh solo cups. He glanced around the room. Pounding music was playing, Doc acting as DJ. Zedaph and Keralis were engaged in an intense dance-off. There was a crowded table near the dance floor where there was some sort of drinking game going on. Bdubs was losing, badly, judging by the distraught look on his face and the list in his posture. By the door, Jevin was talking to Gem, gesticulating wildly while Gem gently patted his shoulder. It was, in a word, chaos.

Etho returned to his table and handed Cleo her drink.

“Thank you!” She chirped, and tipped the drink back.

Etho self-consciously sipped at his. It was surprisingly good, fragrant with spices. He swallowed the rest down quickly, and laughed at Cleo’s expression when he finished the glass.

“Just trying to keep up with you,” Etho grinned.

“Etho! Are you calling me a lush?”

“No, no, nothing like that. I'd never insult you.”

“Right, because it wouldn’t end well for you.”

“Oh, I know. You’re scary, Cleo.”

Cleo gave a bark of laughter. “I’m really not! You’re the only one who thinks that.”

Etho leaned his head on his hand. He was feeling pleasantly muzzy. “You want to know a secret, Cleo?”

Cleo smirked and mirrored his posture, fist against her cheek. “What?”

“I really was scared of you when we first met.”

Cleo snorted. “So flattering! And now?”

“Terrified.”

Cleo threw her head back and laughed.

Etho sat back, self-satisfied.

“No, really,” Cleo prompted. “Tell me the truth.”

Etho picked up his empty glass and took an abortive sip of it.

“Ethoooo,” Cleo whined. “Come on.”

Etho was preemptively blushing. “I… you’re nice,” he managed to stutter.

“Hah! I knew it. See, I’m not scary at all.”

“Still scary,” Etho hedged. “Didn’t say anything about that.”

Cleo leaned forward, a smirk on her lips. “Well, I think you’re very sweet.” She pressed a kiss to Etho’s cheek, her lips cool against his superheated skin.

She leaned back, fixing Etho with a look that sent a shiver up his spine. “Another drink?” She asked.

Etho pushed his cup towards her, “Of course.”

#cletho #my fic #confetti pls this is my first cletho writing #all dialogue #I am figuring them out lol #hermitshipping #cleo #etho

[nix-writes-mcyt]

Raindrops

Oneshot Zombie Cleo x reader Contains: Fluff

It's late, but it's here. My second addition to, what was, under appreciated hermit week! Thank you again to @boop-ity for suggesting this ---------------------------- The sound of rain pattering softly on your window is what woke you up. It didn't compel you to get out of bed, not for a little while.

The day was new, and for some time you weren't sure you were ready for it. But there were things to do, places to go.

Your morning routine was set into motion and before you knew it you were ready for the day. Just about anyway.

With one final swig you finish your drink, washing the glass up straight away and leaving it upside down on the draining board to dry. You dry your hands on the hand towel, staring ahead of you and out of the window.

The rain seems heavier than it was when you woke up, drying your hands feels counterproductive, they're only going to get wet again.

Placing the towel in its usual place you turn off the kitchen light and head for the front door. Pulling on your most waterproof footwear and coat you're just about ready to go.

You make sure your hood is up and secure, and all the things you need are stuffed in your pockets before entering the rather damp outside world.

The rain is heavier than you thought, but not too much to handle. The small drops of water land on the ground, on you, on everything that isn't sheltered.

The walk to the shopping district luckily isn't too far. You'd fly, but flying in the rain isn't always the safest option. Besides, it's nice to really take in the scenery every once in a while.

Spawn village is such a beautiful place, it was a wonderful place to start a new world. The hermits and yourself built it from the ground up, to what it is now.

The path from your place joins up to the path along the river between Jevin and False's bases. As you walk toward the shopping district you take a quick look in the flower shop.

You make a note of what there is, the vase on your kitchen table has been empty for too long. A couple of fresh flowers will brighten the place up.

The rain seems to pick up as you continue toward the shopping distance. As your clothes continue to become saturated with water the cold starts to settle in.

You quicken your pace, wanting to be under shelter as soon as possible. Hopefully you don't catch a chill from being damp and cold for a while.

The shopping district appears in the distance, a grey silhouette against a grey sky.  The colours of the shops are hard to make out, each drop of rain making the usually bright and colourful area seem so dull.

You don't dilly dally around, picking up the things you need from the shops you need to go into. You rush between them, from door to door. You stay under trees where you can. At this point you're pretty much soaked.

Once you've bought the last of the things you need, frog lights, you stop. The rain is still pouring outside. You're soaked through already. You may as well wait in here where it's warm from all the lights, where you're sheltered from more rain.

You wait and wait, but the rain doesn't let up. It pours and pours.

You sigh, you're just going to have to go. The rain is cold when you step outside. So much colder than the warm interior or iLuminate. But you know you just have to go.

You head towards home, feeling colder by the moment. This is going to be a long walk.

With every step you can feel your clothes clinging to your skin a little more. You'd dried off pretty well in iLuminate, but in the end it was all for nothing.

"Y/n." You glance back toward the shopping district hearing your name, but you can't make anything out in the blur of the raindrops. You shrug it off, continuing your journey home.

"Y/n!" The voice calls again. This time you stop walking, turning fully to face the direction from which you came. You place your hand on your forehead, attempting to shield your eyes from the raindrops.

You squint into the grey haze, eyes spotting a shape coming in your direction. You stand and wait, the person slowly becoming more visible.

The person that walks toward you is Cleo, she waves, picking up their speed a little to catch up with you. "You're soaked." Cleo notes, "come here." 

The two of you meet face to face. Cleo lifts her umbrella so it covers both of you. They grab your arm, pulling you even closer. That way none of you is still getting rained on. You can see their dress is now getting damp, rain hitting her back.

"I'd think you'd know better than to go out in this weather with nothing to protect you from the rain." Cleo's eyes tell you she's joking but serious at the same time. "I thought it would let up." You shrug.

They smile softly at you, "let me walk you home. My umbrella will keep some of the rain off of you." Cleo's words aren't a question, more of a you will let them walk you home.

"No, no, it's alright." You say anyway. You don't want her going out of their way to make sure you'll be drier. "The rain's only going to get worse, Y/n. You already look like a wet sponge." You chuckle at their words.

"Alright, alright. You can walk me home." Cleo takes you by the arm triumphantly. "You're right, I will." She grins.

Despite the pouring rain Cleo brightens your walk home. And not getting soaked (again) is a bonus.

You're actually sad to see your house appear. The feeling sinks in even deeper as you get to your front door. You unlock it, stepping out from underneath Cleo's umbrella and into the shelter of your home.

"Thank you, for walking me home." You smile softly. "I couldn't leave a pretty thing like you out in the rain, now could I?" You feel your face burn the second they finish speaking, stumbling over your words.

Cleo laughs, face lit up against the dull background. The sound of her laughter fills you with joy.

"You're so cute. Genuinely." She seems to calm down, locking eyes with you. They reach out a hand and take one of yours, lightly squeezing it. Of course you squeeze back, the smile on their face growing just that little bit more.

"I need to go, I wish I didn't. You wouldn't mind if I came round tomorrow, would you?" The look in their eyes is hopeful, you feel warm. Your hand feels like it's burning from the contact.

"I wouldn't mind." Cleo seems to relax. She leans forward, placing a feather light kiss on your cheek.

As Cleo pulls away you overall feel cold once again. Your hand no longer tingles. It's just empty.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Y/n." Cleo waves. "See you tomorrow." You reply, watching as they turn around and walk away.

You watch as her image is obscured by the rain more and more. Until Cleo disappears from your sight completely.

There's an emptiness in your heart, a longing. Thank watchers above you'll be able to feel whole again tomorrow.

#cleo x reader #zombie cleo x reader #zombiecleo x reader #hermitcraft x reader #mcyt x reader #cleo #zombiecleo #hermitcraft #mcyt #mcyt fanfiction #fluff #under appreciated hermit week #mcytblr #oneshot

[yourlocalzombie]

(Limited life got me in shambles wbu this does have lim life cleo spoilers btw)

Cleo, by the grace of whatever forces there are, had a new dream when she fell asleep at her desk that night.

She...remembered.

She remembered the swords and axes destroying her body; much like how she had dreamt how the hermits had killed her before.

But there was more.

They remembereded how their spirit lingered, and reunited with her so-called sons.

How scar and dubs welcomed her back.

They did not blame her or try to be rid of her, but rather, they hugged and welcomed her back into their little group.

But something wasn't quite right.

A glint in their false eyes, a tooth to sharp, hiding hands behind their back.

As if even in death, cleo wasn't safe.

Cleo awoke in a sweat, slowly raising her head from the desk she had been working at.

Half completed sketches laid before her, some having to be thrown out. Bare stands and stones were strewn about around the walls, with an opening to the storage room and yet another for tool storage.

She stood up, and with heavy steps, walked towards her proper storage.

She grabbed paper, a pencil, some diamonds and and a bag wrote:

'Etho

I'm in need of your redstone expertise for something I'm working on.

Please meet me in my work room on the middle section of my castle

-cleo'

She placed the note with some diamonds in the bag.

She pulled another paper, writing some more:

"I want to apologize for attacking you that night.

I don't really know why it happens it just....does.

So, if it's anything, you're free to some more diamonds or a voucher to my services or...whatever.

I owe you.

I'm sorry.

-cleo'

She carefully placed the second note on top of the diamonds. She tied up the bag and grabbed it.

However, the zombie first collected a brew they made: a horrendous mix of Redstone, glowstone, sugar, a blaze powder, and a fermented spider eye.

It's horrendous taste made the thing unlikable to the undead and its corrupted nature made the thing undrinkable to the living. All cleo made it for was the immense energy it provided.

After downing the cursed drink with no reaction, she grabbed the bag and flew off to etho's place.

The alien archway made for a fine enough spot to leave the bag, so cleo decided to place the little delivery there.

Cleo was struggling to find a spot to place it however, and in their struggle, failed to notice the resident of the place approaching.

"..cleo?"

Cleo's head rapidly turned to face him, "oh, uh, etho.."

"What are you doing there?"

"Well, I was going to just leave this here for you but...here, just take it" cleo was clearly nervous, grabbing her arm after throwing the the.

Etho clumsily caught the bag, and carefully inspected its contents after untying the string.

He silently read the notes and inspected the diamonds within. As this occurred, the creature wanted nothing more than to flee.

But what would she be if she ran away from her own apology?

So they stood there in silence.

Etho looked up, "cleo I would love to make some machines for you."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, redstone is only like my favorite thing. Besides, what happened that night, that wasn't really your fault - that was the watchers wasn't it?"

"Honestly? I'm not really sure what causes me to go mad like that, but that's my guess too."

Etho shrugged, "Whatever it is, I don't hold it against you. Grian doesn't either.

Anyway, what machines do you need?"

"Well..."

Cleo went on to explain the plan Joe had come up with.

"...just something to freak some people out, good fun yeah?"

"Absolutely."

Cleo nodded to herself, "unfortunately I haven't made all the sketches yet but...oh it's fine, I'll be back when I have them!"

Cleo's breathing had picked up, and they began to sweat. A cough developed shortly after.

"Are...are you ok?"

"I'm fine! It's fine!"

Cleo was not fine.

Etho noticed, "can you do me a favor and stay right here? I'll be right back.."

Cleo nodded, sitting down next to the stoke arch.

As Etho stepped aside to do...something - all cleo could hear was that he was calling someone, though they didn't know who. Their stomach was practically rioting, and, well, had it always been this hot outside?

By the time etho returned, whatever ailed the zombie had taken full affect, much to the man's dismay. Luckily, while Joe was unavailable, Gem told him a recipe for something that should help.

He knelt down next to cleo, aiding her in drinking this alleged cure.

Cleo eventually drank the whole thing, though it's affects were not immediate. Soon enough, however, she was lulled off to a calm slumber.

Etho sat beside her, making sure nothing happened to cleo while waiting for Gem. Luckily for everyone involved, etho's various projects included machines for travel. It was all to often unconscious hermits needed to be moved and he loved to tinker, so it only seemed natural that the machinist made it.

Etho's relief was immense upon hearing the pounding of hooves approaching where they were.

Gem came to halt and asked a question:

"Do you have any idea what potion cleo made?"

Etho sighed. He was familiar with the crew cleo made, given she had made it on many occasions and sever of the hermits - including him - have had to take care of them after the fact.

"I have no idea, all I know is it keeps her awake, eventually makes her sick, and then this happens."

Gem thought for a moment.

"Do you know if she writes down the recipe anywhere?"

"Its possible, but you could also probably just snoop around her kitchen and figure it out. It's the only potion she makes 'cause nobody sells it."

"I see. Well, let's get her to a bed at least."

Etho nodded, "I'll be right back."

He ran off and returned with one if his machines. This one was incredibly simple, just being a table of sorts, with propellers on the bottom and, according him, some other force.

"Do you regularly not know how everything in your machines work or is this a one off?" Gem asked, incredulous.

"Oh, this is a one off, but I can tell you it comes from phantom membranes!"

Gem just nodded. If it worked, she supposed it didn't really matter. Plus the bit about phantom membranes did make sense, as they were used in slow falling potions.

Etho and Gem put Cleo on the traveling table, and said their goodbyes.

...

Eventually, Gem was able to bring cleo back to Atlantis, as the zombie liked to call it.

She laid Cleo unto their bed, covering the peaceful creature with blankets. Gem used to herself; she had never seen cleo so...peaceful.

But she had something she needed to know.

Gem walked into the kitchen, already noting a lingering, horrendous smell. One of the cabinets was already open, much to Gem's convenience.

She gazed through the inward containers of alchemical ingredients.

"Blaze powder. Redstone dust. Glowstone powder. Sugar. Fermented Spider Eyes. Did they really mix all these?"

She inspected the inside of a few remaining bottle, finding residue of all the ingredients within. There's no way they'd all mix correctly to begin with, let alone with how much cleo might be using to make themselves sick like that.

Gem sighed to herself, ready to scold the zombie for such an idea.

"I mean, really! No wonder she got sick!... they need to be more careful..."

Gem walked back to the bedroom, finding the creature to still be asleep.

Gem couldn't bear to wake them.

The gentle rise and fall of their chest. The slow adjustments into the stillness of comfort. The peaceful look of the face.

It was like everything was right in Cleo's world.

Something that Gem knew hadn't been true. And likely still wasn't.

Gem decided to resign herself to a nearby chair, grabbing a book to read as she waited.

It was about stand-making.

....

Cleo woke up rather peacefully. They didn't have the best dream, still waking up in a sweat, but it did beat everything prior.

She sat up and looked around and found themself in their bedroom. Gem was sitting at the foot of the bed, who gave the zombie a gentle look.

"Mornin, sleepy!"

"Morn- wait, what?" Cleo blushed.

Gem chuckled, "sleepy! Sleepyhead," She continued sounding as if she was about to stick her tongue out at cleo, "you've been out for a couple days!"

"I...what?"

"That potion you made really messed you up. After it left your system, you were just completely clocked out," Gem seemed more serious now.

Cleo sighed, speaking more to herself, "I keep telling myself I'll stop making those damn things.." She turned her attention back to the fae before her, "Well, I take it you've been here most the time?"

"Sure have."

"Let me make you breakfast then, it's the least I can do," cleo continued, "I also promise my actually cooking is nothing like that potion."

Gem chuckled, "that better be true, cleo!"

....

"Can I watch you work?"

Cleo was caught off guard by the question.

"Err...why?"

Gem finished chewing the egg she bit first, "I read a book you had in your room, about making those stands. Made me curious. Maybe you could even teach me how to make something!"

"Well..." cleo considered making up an excuse.

"...alright," cleo relented without a fight.

Gem's smile was wide as the pair went to the work room, ready to learn more about the craft.

And to spend time with an awake Cleo.

#zombiecleo #mcyt #limited life #hermitcraft #geminitay #ethoslab #hermitshipping #idk what this is #please accept this offering #imagine thinking coherently

[mumbos-waffle]

Fictober!

Prompt 3: once opon a time.

Cursed hermits!

One stormy halloween long ago, there was a vampire, a werewolf, a fallen angel, a zombie, and a witch.

The four monsters held hands surrounding a book. A witch stands to the side holding a bottle of lighty glowing liquid. “Tonight each of you drink this potion, it will curse the world.” she looked around the room, “are you prepared to do this?” The four nodded solemnly, they had good hearts, none wanted to harm, but they were tired of hiding.

The spell took years to put together. The bottle contained manys blood, tears, a few organs, and even some souls. Most of these were harvested from people with power. There were normal witchy stuff as well, crystals, herbs, flowers, other plants and natural things. 

She raised the bottle, “may the spirits lead us tonight, and may the gods lead the rest of this wretched world. Please!” she called out “bless this bottle” she said words the rest could not understand, but it was clear it was latin. The bottle glowed brighter than before. She handed the bottle to Ren, the werewolf, “to appease you, we shall drink from a bottle that holds liquid more vile than the world”

Ren uncorked the concoction, they had rehearsed this and had trained so they could stand the drink. The room watched as the wolf's skin paled at the smell. The witch stepped back and picked up the book, “Pearl?” Ren looked away from the bottle and at the witch. “if i puke will it ruin this whole thing?” Pearl did not answer, they all knew the truth. She picked up the book she held before. 

“Okay, when the room gleams with moonlight, the cursed shall drink the unholy potion” she looked at the grandfather clock that stood in the corner of the dusty room. “Two minutes,” she sighed. Pearl walked back over to Ren, “spirits, may Ren, cursed to forever live as a monster, a half wolf half human,” she swallowed “may he be worth no more or no less than the rest of the world”

She repeated the same accordingly with the other 4 “may grian, cursed forever with wings on his back, a fallen angel. may cleo, forever cursed with rotting skin, a zombie. May Mumbo Jumbo, forever cursed with a craving for blood, a vampire. And I, Pearlescent, blessed with magic” she covered her eyes as the moonlight flooded into the room. “May we be no less or no more than the rest of the world” she started speaking tongues lost to humans, calling to people and things that had been resting for eternity. 

Ren took a small sip of the contents in the bottle, everyone could tell he was trying to keep it down as he swallowed. He quickly said the prayer and handed it to the next. They did this until all but Pearl had drank from the bottle. The monsters looked sick, Pearl stopped her chanting and took a giant drink of the magic. 

She grabbed a knife, and walked towards the corner of the room, she opened up a small closet. She pulled out a man, duct tape covering his eyes and mouth along with multiple blindfolds and masks. He was one of- if not the most- important person, Xisuma void, ruler of the biggest kingdoms. The group had nothing against him, he was a pretty good ruler, he was just easy to catch and important.

She ripped the layers off his eyes, he tried to scream in pain. Ouch. She had talked to the man before they started the ritchual, he knew exactly what to do and the consequences if not competent. She ripped the tape off his mouth. He hissed. “Do you, Xisuma Void, unrelated to magic, a ruler of extreme power, agree to this?” Xisuma sputtered an agreement. 

She cut Xisuma out of his prison and led him into the middle of the ritual. “Lay down” she commanded, he did. She whispered a few more spells, the mixture went from glowwing white to a dark purple, it gently floated out of her grip. She grabbed the bottle and poured it over Xisuma. The group, and the ruler, had to keep themselves from losing the contents of their stomachs as they watched chucks of organ fall out of the bottle. They all had blood on their hands.

She held the knife tightly in her grip. She kneeled down. “Gods, take his willingness to help us and save his people, take the kindness he has used to rule his kingdoms, take his power, take the fear he causes in people” she drew unknown letters into his skin. Xisuma screamed in pain. The mixture seeped into his skin.

She said a chant in forgin tongue, the monsters followed along, chanting the same chant. The room filled with voices and blood not of their own. They all blacked out.

Pearl was the first to wake, nothing looked off. Pearl was giddy just thinking of the chaos that was happening. She tried to wake the others with little success. She looked at xisuma, the once man, now with firefly wings sticking out his back and antennae out his head. Interesting.

She sat in the old dusty room until each of her friends had woken, leaving only the king. They decided he could take care of himself. They set off towards the city, they were currently in the middle of a forest, an enchanted tower made centuries ago that no normal human can access without help. Normally it would take two or so hours to get close enough to the city so that you start seeing people, but within just an hour they met the chaos that they had created. There were people running everywhere, some hiding in trees and bushes, some hurt. As they got closer and closer to the city the weirder and weirder it got. Hybrids that were barely even human, human object hybrids, robots, they were expecting some cat ears or something to that degree… not.. This. 

The world changed fast. Laws were set and broken, people killed and imprisoned, and they were on the run. It was foolish of them to think xisuma might forget what they looked like or that he wouldn't talk about it. It wasn't that hard to stay hidden though, the law enforcement was nonexistent. The only worry was well, everyone, anyone who knew their face tried to beat them up. It wasn't particularly hard to win, enemies were inexperienced in fighting and using their curse to their advantage. They were known globally as “the witch, the vampire, the dog, medusa, and the dark angel” none knowing their real names.

“Years and years later the world is back to normal” he touched his finger to the child's rabbit nose playfully “everyone learned how to adjust and now the world is a better place!”

 the girl looked confused “but they caused so much hurt to the whole world! Just for the 5 of them?”

He closed the book “yes, that's what i wonder sometimes, you know, if they were in the right.” he put the book back on a shelf “but they saved many lives even if they didnt know it at first. And they were in tired of hiding, some of them had been living for hundreds of years” 

the girl made an O shape with her mouth “that's a long time!” he sighed and nodded “yes it is. Now its way past your bedtime and uncle grian wouldn't be happy to know you're awake still”

#i didnt have enough time to finsh or cleab up #in was busy today lol #hermitcraft #grian #mumbo #zombiecleo #rendog #pearlescentmoon #xisuma #fictober #hermitfic

[haworthiaace]

Magic misfits! Did I update the masterpost specifically because of this fic? yes absolutely. A busy day for Scar, featuring TFC and some good ol’ Scar appreciation :]

The start of a new season was always interesting.

While TFC didn’t enjoy having to start from scratch every year or so; having gotten used to the comforts of late season riches, he did love the sheer amount of interaction that came with a new season. TFC was content to hear gossip about the others’ shenanigans while he stuck to what he was best at: mining. Some of the others called it cheating to use his earthbending down in the tunnels, but he called it cheating to be able to shapeshift, or use magic crystals, or any of the other crazy things the other hermits could do, so it evened out.

When he wasn’t down in his mine, TFC watched as all the other hermits scrambled to make the most impressive buildings and contraptions in as little time as possible. Many of his servermates placed more importance on finishing their creations than actually gathering necessities such as tools and armour. 

As if to prove this observation, the Boatem village appeared on the other side of the nether portal, populated with structures that were much too large considering it had only been three weeks since they arrived in this world. There was also a… tree? At least that’s what it looked like; a thin oak tree stretching up past the clouds and out of view. Looks like Mumbo and Grian were up to no good already.

“TFC! Up here!” Scar’s voice came from somewhere above TFC’s head, and he looked up to see the wizard (although he no longer wore his robe and hat) standing on a balcony extending from a truly massive wagon, one hand on the railing and the other extended above his head, waving enthusiastically at TFC.

He climbed the ladder up the side of the wagon, entering a sparse storage room. Knowing Scar, he either hadn’t bothered to move in yet or lost all of his things in a cave somewhere. Despite his powerful crystal magic, Scar still managed to die more than any other hermit, so the second option was more likely.

“Well hello there! Welcome to my humble abode, please take a seat.” Scar led TFC to a balcony, where he gestured towards a table and two folding chairs. Scar sat down, crossing his legs and folding his arms in his lap. “So, what brings you to our little village today?”

TFC raised an eyebrow at the question, confusion evident in his voice. “Because you invited me? We were supposed to have tea today.” 

Scar jolted in his seat, then proceeded to scramble out of said seat. “I’ll be right back! I have to go… feed Jellie!” This was quite obviously a lie seeing as Jellie hadn’t returned from her between seasons interdimensional travels yet. TFC’s laughter chased Scar into the wagon, where he frantically prepared the tea that he was totally planning on making because he definitely remembered his plans for the day. 

After about five minutes of mildly concerning crashing sounds, Scar returned with two steaming mugs of tea (decorated with cat faces, of course) and a plate of chocolate chip cookies - Stress’ recipe if TFC wasn’t mistaken. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, appreciating the tea and cookies. 

“So, how are you holding up this season, Scar?” TFC took a sip of green tea, looking out at the horizon.

“Oh you know, the usual. I don’t have my village anymore, but the magical misfits still come seeking my help.” He brought a cookie to his mouth and bit off half of it. “Not that I mind helping people!” He swallowed his mouthful before continuing. “XB was here last week convinced that he left his coat in season seven, but turns out it just ended up in one of Joe’s boxes.” He chuckled to himself, wiping crumbs off of his jacket as TFC stared at the distant ocean, lost in thought.

TFC broke the silence that had fallen. “You’re a good man, y’know that?” The wizard in question looked at TFC in surprise. He was used to ‘thank you’s, but the personal compliment caught him off guard. “You’ve created a safe space for folks from all sorts of places, and you’ve saved quite a few of them from bad people.” 

Scar looked down, smiling at his cup of tea. He spoke quietly, a departure from his usual boisterousness. “Thanks TFC, that means a lot.”

-

Scar was in the middle of catching TFC up on what he missed from day one when something red and very fast crashed into the balcony. The something in question turned out to be Grian, shimmering wings protruding from his back. Something must have been wrong, since winged hermits tended to refrain from flying early in the season, in the name of fairness.

“Scar we need your- Oh heeey, I didn’t know you had company over!” He leaned on the railing, his urgency replaced with a forced cheerfulness as he (quite obviously) pretended nothing was wrong. What was probably supposed to be an easygoing smile stretched too wide, and his voice was more high pitched than usual. “How’s it goin’?”

Scar, completely oblivious, responded excitedly. “Oh, I was just telling TFC here about our adventure in the geode with Cleo!”

Grian’s uncomfortable smile grew wider, and his eyebrows furrowed. “That sounds great, do you think you’ll be done anytime soon?”

“Oh well, I’m not too sure. It depends on when we finish all of these cookies.”

“Oh that’s just wonderful,” Grian’s wings started to twitch behind him, “did you make those yourself?”

Scar took a breath, preparing for a tangent when TFC cut in, showing the poor fairy some mercy. “Alright Grian, out with it. What’s wrong?” Scar stared at Grian, somehow surprised that this wasn’t a completely ordinary visit.

Grian let out a long sigh. “Thank you so much TFC.” He turned his gaze to Scar. “We need a little help with curse breaking.”

Scar set down his mug and gave Grian his full attention, preparing himself for whatever strange curse one of the fairies had set on some poor hermit. “Really? How are you two cursing people already? It hasn’t even been a month!”

Grian’s tangent was accompanied by wild hand gestures that made it difficult to follow what he was saying. “Well, Pearl came up behind Mumbo and spooked him, he shouted something about not sneaking up on him, and now whenever he turns his back on her she teleports directly in front of him.” Grian looked nervously over his shoulder in the direction of Mumbo’s van. TFC followed his gaze, and burst into laughter again.

Mumbo was standing a few feet away from his campfire, spinning in circles and doubling over in laughter as Pearl kept popping up in front of him. 

Scar pushed himself up from his chair, TFC followed suit. The pair headed to the door while Grian flew back down, Scar giving TFC a sort of briefing. “Alright, let’s go figure out what exactly Mumbo did before Pearl starts feeling particularly vengeful.”

-

It took two hours and a lot of trial and error (with TFC giving supremely unhelpful tips), but eventually Pearl could stand behind Mumbo again. At some point Scar accidentally applied the effect to both Grian and Mumbo, and he had to beg the two not to create a space time anomaly. But it was all fixed now, and TFC was sure Pearl’s revenge would be swift and cruel.

Scar made his way back up to the balcony, and the two continued their conversation. It was a good thing Scar had enchanted his mugs, something he had done back in season seven after his drinks kept getting abandoned and going cold.

After a few hours of peace (other than both Mumbo and Grian’s bases abruptly flipping upside down while the boys were inside), the pair was interrupted again by a voice behind them.

“Howdy, Scar. Oh, and howdy to you as well, TFC!”

Neither of them had heard Joe coming, so Scar jumped about a foot in the air while TFC nearly spat out his tea. It turned out that Cleo was there as well, looking quite a bit angrier than Joe, although that wasn’t too uncommon.

“Oh my goodness, Joe you scared the life out of me!” Scar held a hand to his chest and caught his breath as Cleo got right to business.

“Sorry about that Scar,” her voice was flat, and it was safe to assume that she was not, in fact, sorry about that. “But we have an emergency. It’s completely Joe’s fault, he-”

Joe smoothly stepped in front of his companion as he cut her off, “I wouldn’t say it’s entirely my fault, old magic is a fickle thing-”

Cleo shoved Joe aside, stepping in front once again. “He revived my leg!” She raised a foot off the ground and gestured at it with both hands.

Sure enough, both TFC and Scar looked down to see that Cleo’s right leg was significantly more flesh-coloured than the left, restored to what it presumably once was. 

Scar’s lingering panic was instantly replaced by an amused grin as he gestured to the leg in question. “Cleo, why don’t you just get your leg reinfected? It’s not like zombies are hard to come by.”

The pair stood still, just blinking. (Completely in sync, it was eerie) 

Cleo rounded on Joe and punched at his shoulder just as he raised a hand to deflect her fist. “How did you not think of that Joe?! I thought you knew everything there was to know about-” She gestured wildly about for a moment. “Everything?!”

“Shouldn’t you be some sort of zombie expert by now? How is that my responsibility?” The argument continued as the pair went back into the wagon and down the ladder. As they walked off, presumably to go find a cave, something occurred to TFC. He cupped his hands around his mouth to yell down at them.

“Cleo!” She turned around. “Don’t use Joe as bait!” 

She snapped her finger like a defeated cartoon villain, as Joe turned to face her and presumably gave her grief for this evil plot.

-

It was only about five minutes after Cleo and Joe left (preceded by twenty minutes of arguing) that the next problem arrived, as it often did, in the form of Zedaph, Impulse, and Tango arriving on the shore of the village. TFC found this odd, seeing as how everyone was now connected by nether portals, but he assumed there would be an explanation shortly, even if it didn’t make a lick of sense.

Impulse shouted up from the ground, the three of them clustered near the front of the wagon. “TFC, we need your help!” Well that was a surprise, not many people asked for his assistance other than Scar. “We made an oopsie and Cleo said we could find you here!”

As every hermit knew, ‘oopsie’ was a versatile word with these three. It could mean anything between making a minor mistake in a build to banishing Impulse for the fifth time. “What happened this time?” TFC stood up and made his way down the ladder, since shouting down at them wasn’t very efficient and they didn’t seem inclined to come up.

Impulse started twisting his hands together while Zedaph and Tango tried their best to look innocent behind him. It didn’t work. “Weeell, Tango wanted a terraforming job done around his base, so we made a little deal for it.” 

Oh boy. Not much good came out of magical deals, yet the other hermits continued to make them with each other. Demonic deals were especially tricky since the demon didn’t have precise control over their end of the deal, not that it stopped these three. “Tango offered me his first beacon in exchange for the job, and it turns out that a beacon is worth a lot more than I thought- it’s probably easier if we show you.”

“Quick FYI guys: firsts are very valuable in deals! It applies to you as well Impulse, not just the fae!” Scar called helpfully from his still seated position on the balcony.

-

They all ended up going over to Tango’s house/ shop, which was literally buried in a mound of dirt and stone, along with about three quarters of Bdubs’ giant moon house. That explains why they didn’t use the nether. 

The earth was offended after being touched by demonic magic, but after a long negotiation TFC managed to convince it that Impulse meant no harm, and it was happy to return to its prior state. Tango was mildly annoyed that he would have to do the terraforming himself and give Impulse a beacon, but it was better than the wrath he would have faced from Bdubs.

By the time TFC and Scar returned to the Boatem village, the sun was starting to dip below the horizon. While TFC admired the beauty of it, Scar just looked disappointed. 

“I’m sorry.”

TFC raised an eyebrow at the wizard, a frown making its way onto his face. “What do you mean you’re sorry? Did you do something to the tea?” 

Despite TFC’s attempted joke, Scar still stared at his perfectly polished shoes. “This was supposed to be a nice relaxing day to catch up, and people were just showing up left and right. I mean, we hardly got to spend any time together! Maybe I shouldn’t invite people over with all this wizard stuff going on.”

“But we did spend time together.” TFC’s rough hand landed on Scar’s shoulder, the latter looking up at the former, startled by the contact.

“Well yeah we had tea for a while but-”

TFC had to cut off Scar’s rambling or he would never get to his point. “Yes we had tea, but I’m talking about the rest of the day.” Scar seemed genuinely confused at this. “I helped you un-curse Pearl,” he did air quotes on the word ‘helped,’ “We watched Joe and Cleo argue together, and you came with us to fix Tango’s house.” Of course he didn’t do much other than laugh at Tango’s misfortune, but it was the thought that counted. “Just ‘cause it didn’t go to plan doesn’t mean I didn’t have a good time.” After all, not much went according to plan on the hermitcraft server.

Now Scar was smiling. “So I didn’t ruin the day with magical misfits?”

“Not at all.” TFC reached for his mug and emptied it one last time, then stretched before heading out. “But now I gotta get going. I don’t like my chances against the mobs with my crappy iron gear.”

Scar waved once more as TFC disappeared into the nether portal. “Goodnight TFC! And thanks again, for everything!”

TFC smiled as he made his way through the nether tunnels back home. Scar did a lot more for the hermits than he realized, allowing them to be free with their magic in a way they couldn’t back home, TFC included. He’d created a home for all sorts of ‘magic misfits’ as Scar put it, and he performed an invaluable service, whether he realized it or not.

He’s a good kid. Just needs some reminding every once in a while. 

#hermitcraft #hermitcraft 8 #magic misfits au #tinfoilchef #goodtimeswithscar #grian #mumbo jumbo #pearlescentmoon #joe hills #zombiecleo #tangotek #impulsesv #zedaph #im not too confident on the Emotional bits but #practice makes perfect i suppose #theres a few things i implied here so feel free to ask and clear things up

[gcnsey]

YFIP (Discord Edition): Eddie LoveCord

Hey everybody, Gab here. As some of you may know, there’s an It discord called the Eddie Lovecord that’s been active for a couple weeks. I’ve been a part of it since the beginning and I’ve gotten to know the members quite intimately- and well, let’s just say, not everything I’ve seen has been good. I wanted to make this post to humble them because some of their behavior is just not acceptable. Hope you all learn from your mistakes x. Enjoy my little burn book...

Alex @stanleyurpiss: Rumor has she’s in a vigorous legal battle with Lightning McQueen over a broken restraining order. I can’t pee without thinking about her.

Andrea @trentadepresso: Thinks we’re only a couple years away from the 2100′s.

Cleo @eddiebrak: Simply too nice. Created this discord where I’ve had to encounter all these problematic individuals and brought us all together. Really makes you think.

Colleen @richsbian: Commited a hate crime by making me look at PJ Lipsone and Finn Egghard with no hair on a frequent basis. When will they let my eyes rest? EDIT: IS ALSO AN EX HOMESTUCK!!!!!!!!!!

Con @thelosersparty: Thought penguins were a fish... when questioned, cited chemistry.

East @eastaustraliancurrent: The things she has made me read in relation to feet have made me laugh and cry, sometimes simultaneously. Pero ella habla en español conmigo.

Jack @neiboltwell: They stole all of the brain cells in the entire chat and is hoarding them like a dragon sitting on it’s treasure. Please, Jack, we need our brain cells back desperately. 

Jane @billdenbrough: Is very smart and incredible to talk to and yet she doesn’t talk to me every second of everyday? Has ruined fanfics for me because they’re not as fun to read without her reacting along with me... (and Murryn).

Mary @estarwars: Her food choices? Abysmal. Goes to Starbucks and walks out with a plate of cheese.

Migz @eddiekissbrak: Bill Hader related tags make me want to drink holy water and I’m not even religious. Goes to Orange Theory but I’m team Planet Fitness (Montague vs Capulets anyone?)

Murryn @pattyblumuris: She’s going to end up behind bars for PJ related crimes sooner or later and we all know it. She’s also dating my car but didn’t ask for my blessing.

Percy @kasprbak: Chat dictator. Not only can he slowmode you for six hours, he WILL.

Rochelle @bisexual-zombies: Draws beautiful things from fandoms that I tried to repress and makes me feel things for them again. Calls everyone babes and now I can’t stop saying it. British.

Sab @ribsedit: Their name is too similar to mine. That’s it, that’s the complaint.

Sarah @surroundedbythelonely: DOES NOT SLEEP ENOUGH!!!! Once stayed up for like 3 days straight speaking in gibberish and giving us all new names.

Sonny @wentworthtozier: Ex H*mestuck... need I say more? Roasted me within an inch of my life the first time we ever spoke and I’ll never forget it.

Soph @hcnrywinter: Writes sad shit that will make you cry. I honestly think she enjoys making people sad... she thrives on reading upset tags. What kind of sick person...

Zuzanna @fuckmewithyourtoespj: Her tumblr url says it all... she’ll probably be cellmates with Murryn.

There’s others but I don’t talk to them enough to have dirt...yet. Let’s cancel these absolute buffoons before they get out of hand.

Xoxo,

Gossip Gab

#DISCOURSE!!!!!

[w-re-writes]

Fictober - Day 17 - “an honest muttonhead”

Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1867

Rating: General Audiences

Prompt: “There is just something about them/her/him.”

Unbeknownst to him, Cleos is the third wheel in a ridiculous road trip. His wife helps him through it.

(read on ao3)

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Cleos Frey had never been a saint, but he was sure he did not deserve this punishment.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" His cousin, Jaime, said from the back seat. "Of course the Warrior would beat the Maid. It's right there in the name."

The gigantic woman in the passenger's seat exhaled with resignation. Brienne Tarth, she was called. Another employer of Catelyn Stark's. Reliable, strong. She’d been his manager for the past months, and Cleos liked her. Not the least because she’d also done an enviable job of ignoring Jaime’s constant japes. At least, until he managed to get under her skin.

"You're bypassing the fact," Brienne explained in a tired tone, "that the Warrior cannot harm the Maid. She's an innocent. But if she asked him to fight for a just cause, he could even get killed. She’d win any fight between them."

"But the Warrior cannot die!"

"But that’s not the point!"

Mother have mercy.

Cleos hadn't seen Brienne upset by anything until Jaime arrived to the Tully headquarters to oversee their negotiations with Tywin Lannister. Purchasing company branches was a merciless bloodbath, and Jaime had been sent to do what he did best—to rail people up until they yielded.

Jeyne help , Cleos texted his wife as soon as he got signal. They were waiting for Jaime to return from taking a leak in the woods. He’d insisted, despite the pouring rain.

What is it?

I’m this close to put myself in front of the car. Miss u.

Miss u too. It's Jaime, just tell embarrassing stories re him as a kid. Thats how genna shuts him up

Cleos glanced up at Brienne, who was also frowning and tapping on her phone.

Its nit just him , he typed back.

The girl too?

They nvr stop fighting

Rlly?

Its exhausting. Like Ty and Will

At that moment, Jaime closed the door with a self satisfied smile.

"All good, coz," he said ruefully, shaking his umbrella in an obnoxious way. "Let's go."

Cleos glanced at Brienne, who nodded her approval, and he started the engine.

-------

This whole excuse of a road trip had been Jaime's idea. Cleos had said it was a ridiculous notion, with the weather they’d last the Seven knew how long. But Jaime had argued back. Flights had been canceled due to the storm, but by car it'd only be 7 hours to King’s Landing. "Shorter than waiting for the storm to blow over," Jaime had smiled. "We all win."

Yeah, right . Cleos had begun to wonder if he was trapped within one of the gods’ big jokes.

"Everyone knows that a blade blunts after hitting bone," Brienne was saying, raising her voice over the rain outside. "So a sword is not a good weapon during a zombie apocalypse."

"But the aesthetic," Jaime shook his fists at her, faking emotion. "What else do you have during the zombie apocalypse but aesthetics?"

He makes her laugh tho , Cleos texted Jeyne later, when they stopped at a petrol station in the middle of nowhere. They were all slightly damp, but for some reason Jaime managed to make it look classy. Brienne and him just looked annoyed.

Thats good?

Yeah, shes young but very serious, tries to hide it

That she's serious?

That she laughs

Brienne returned to the car from her expedition into the management store. "The road is closed," she announced, squaring her shoulders and handing Jaime and Cleos an apple juice box each. "But the man said they're cleaning it up and it should be done by tomorrow."

"There's no way around it?" Cleos asked. Of course the gods would make it harder for him. Of course.

Brienne shook her head.

"It'd take us three hours to get to the other road," Jaime chimed in, slurping his apple juice. "Not worth it."

"Then another five hours to circle back to King's Landing," Brienne agreed, not reluctantly. "Can you stop that?"

Jaime gulped his drink with added noise. Brienne rolled her eyes before turning to Cleos.

"The man said there's an inn further down. We should stop there for the night."

Cleos felt his face wrinkle in pain.

"Slumber party" Jaime finished his juice, looking straight at Brienne. "Yay."

-------

Cleos u old fool , Jeyne had texted, adding two laughing emojis. Cleos frowned.

We r eating smtng n staying at an inn, call u soon , he sent her. Then he quoted her last message: Why?

"Coz, the Boss says they only got one room," Jaime's hand patted his shoulder. "We'll all have to share."

"The boss?" Cleos deepened his frown.

"Two beds, though," Brienne walked past them, carrying most of their bags on one hand. "And if you keep calling me Boss I’m going to expect you to shut up and do as I say, Lannister."

"Am I not doing that already?" he teased her, watching her stomp upstairs with determination. He gave a short laugh, picked what was left of their luggage, and trailed after her. Cleos checked his phone and followed, wondering just how insufferable dinner would be.

"No no no no no," Brienne was shaking her hands. "Under no circumstances would the Blue Knight lose to the Golden Knight. There’s a story about it."

“But only the one story,” Jaime insisted, nudging Cleos with an elbow as he cut his meal.

The inn was packed, and they’d been cramped into a corner. Cleos was not a short man, but he was sandwiched between the biggest woman he’d ever met and his cousin's inflated personality in the tiniest, primpiest table in the seven kingdoms. The tablecloth even had lace, which he knew because he had been inspecting everything in his immediate surroundings while his companions spoke nonstop.

"Are you saying it’s not canonical?"

"“I’m saying there’s a chance they never actually fought."

Cleos tried to remember when his remark about the decorative armour in the parlor had turned into a discussion about the age of heroes, or whatever this was. His mum used to tell him and his cousins stories about knights and dragons, and Brienne had been delighted when he'd told her. She loved all of that stuff. As for Jaime… Cleos hadn’t even known Jaime still cared about the stories.

-------

Is she touching her hair? Jeyne’s reply chimed in his phone.

Cleos stopped the fork halfway to his mouth and glanced at his left. Brienne was talking about a historical TV show, tugging her hair behind her ears at least twice in the process.

Yes. What does that have to do w anythng? He texted back.

Is he listening to her? That message had a laughing-with-tears emoji.

Cleos looked to his right. Jaime had cupped his cheek on one hand, following her every word.

His brow furrowed so fast in realization he felt a muscle tear.

Can't be, he sent. It didn’t feel adamant enough. Impossible , he added.

-------

Cleos had been at some office events where both Brienne and Jaime had attended, and he never thought… Surely Jeyne was wrong.

Brienne had sighed in relief when she had told him they’d reached an agreement. They were about to sign the contracts with Uncle Tywin, which was why they’d been traveling to King’s Landing in the first place. Jaime had been unfazed by the result, as usual, even though him and Brienne had written the final document.

Then again…

Cleos looked at Jeyne’s stream of emojis making fun of him (including some suggestive combinations of hand gestures and eggplants), and then again at his manager and cousin.

They were radiant.

-------

Like everything else in that godsforsaken inn, the room was small and cozy, with lace decorating every textile in view.

Cleos sat on the edge of one of the beds, while Brienne threw herself in the other. Jaime was opening cabinets and doors, like a cat inspecting a new room.

Their not flirting , Cleos texted Jeyne, one handed, opening a couple of buttons on his shirt.

Sounds like it to me

"Hey," Jaime produced a box from one of the shelves. "Kingdompoly! What say you, coz? Shall we play, for old time’s sake?"

Cleos huffed. "Will loves it," he said. "So that means we’ve had to ban it from the house. I pass."

Jaime laughed. "Very well. And you, Boss? Fancy a play?"

"What are you, ten?" Brienne was decidedly not looking up at Jaime, intent only on her book, the edge of her mouth curling up just so. "Only if you’re prepared to lose."

"Ah, a challenge. You boast."

"Of course. My sisters hated me because I won all the time."

"That's because you weren’t playing me."

-------

Are u still up?

Cleos had grabbed the spare key and beseeched the safety of the lobby. The rain was still pounding, but the waiting area was quiet in comparison to the tourney-worth of cackles the two blonds had been making.

The phone rang at the tune of the Rains of Castamere and Cleos picked up gratefully.

"Hi, husband mine." Jeyne's grin was palpable in her voice. "How’re the lovebirds?"

"Fighting," Cleos chuckled. "Over Kingdompoly."

“Kingdompoly?"

"See what I do for our sons?"

Jeyne laughed. "I know. They miss you."

"And me them."

"But are you sure? I was rather hoping I had something to tease your mum with. Her favorite nephew, flirting with a Stark. Can you imagine?"

"I just told you. It's not flirting. They fight. And she's not a Stark, exactly."

"Is it fighting or is it bantering?"

Cleos mentally ran through months of constant teasing, chattering, endless nights of working together, heads bent into one single purpose.

"It’s not flirting," he insisted, stubborn as ever.

That made his wife laugh. It was warm.

"Well," Jeyne continued. "Come home as soon as you can and I'll show you proper flirting, then."

Gods, he missed her.

-------

Cleos walked into their room an hour after. He'd assumed Jaime and him would share a bed, so his surprise was genuine when he discovered two large bulks in Brienne's.

Tip toeing his way through the carpet, Cleos peeked over the pink dossel. Kingdompoly was sprawled out on the mattress in disarray, Brienne asleep against the headboard, and Jaime tucked against her leg, his curls resting on her thigh.

Cleos bit his lip.

His first instinct was to wake Jaime up, a million arguments about impropriety crossing his mind. But they both looked strangely peaceful. And gratefully quiet.

Look what I found , Cleos typed to Jeyne.

It was a bit clumsy, but he managed to angle the camera, adjust the flash, and snap the picture.

Jeyne sent back a billion head-exploding emojis.

I told u!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She didn't have to seem so smug, but Cleos didn’t mind too much.

I got u something to bother mum with , he replied, sliding into his own bed.

My hero ! She said, with a heart emoji.

Cleos chuckled for himself, and peppered his text lingo with a smiley face for his wife.

Sinking into the pillow, Cleos glanced at his travel companions one last time. They breathed slowly in absolute comfort, holding each other in the bed. Maybe Jeyne wasn't so far off, after all. There is just something about them.

With a knowing grin, Cleos drifted into sleep.

#fictober19 #fictober2019 #jaime x brienne #my fic #cleos pov because why not #third wheeling like a pro #i wish this was better but it's done so #there u go

[supercasualtj]

                      truth or dare: totally cool and chill

from cleo raja — truth: since coming back together again, who can you not stand? or just don’t like all that much? or dare: kiss everyone here, besides me, and tell us who’s the best.

“I’ll be the first to admit, I definitely think Kai’s too hot now, so fuck that,” TJ began. She was feeling pleasantly loose, having helped herself to a shower smirnoff before the game began. “But in general, everybody’s exactly the same as they were. The only difference is that Julian and Jenny are stuck with us and can’t ditch us for all their richer, cooler friends. I’m glad to be hangin’ out with my old buddies.”

from dakota harrison — truth: what’s one time you felt like the squad let you down? or dare: eat something you don’t like, right here and now.

Eating gross things was a Powell family tradition, and TJ had always had weird taste buds anyway. She considered, peering around the hotel room. “Did anybody bring a slim jim or jerky or something?” Since they had roadtripped, the teriyaki jerky was eventually produced-- TJ opened a new drink in preparation to eat a single nugget, choking it down before downing the third wine cooler just to rinse the taste of haunted cow from her mouth. “God, that mummy heat is so gross. It makes me feel like a zombie and I don’t know how anyone can casually snack on it-- but make note my mamma ain’t raised no bitch.”

from jenny jordan — truth: have you ever had a crush on someone in the room or dare: compliment me for three minutes straight.

She could already feel her cheeks burning at the idea of confessing to a crush, even in her late twenties, amongst her friends, so instead TJ was content to bite the bullet. She leaned forward, looking deeply into Jenny’s eyes and stated: “Start the timer.” Waiting for the go ahead, she began the flow of words. She’s already drunk, so they flow quickly and with sincerity. “Jenny, you’re so hot you put us all to shame. Your skin looks, and I cannot stress this enough, amazing. You could crush my head with your thighs and I would say thank you.  Your hair smells like sunshine and your teeth are super white. You never made me feel out of place when I was an awkward androgynous teen, and I’m really grateful for that. I’ve always loved your fashion sense and it’s only gotten cooler in the last decade. Remember when you loaned me a scrunchie in the eleventh grade? I do. It was the cutest part of my whole damn outfit, all thanks to you. I always thought you were really clever, and sometimes I used to suspect you could read minds. I think your job and the connections you make there are super cool, and I really envy your jetsetting lifestyle. You should have a show about your life like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and you are so interseting I really would watch every episode--” The timer went off and TJ drew in a deep breath, feeling a little nauseous for having gushed nonstop without coming up for air. “Don’t let any of that go to your head, now, babe.” 

from julian campbell — truth: what is the cruelest thing you have ever done to a friend? or dare: let the person on your right give you a hair cut, right now.

“Well what I’m not gonna do is give any of you drunkie-drunks a pair of scissors,” TJ asserted. She was drunk but she sure wasn’t that drunk. Besides, if it wasn’t something she could undo after her hangover wore off, she wanted absolutely no part in it. “So I guess I’ll just have to admit to trying to exclude Cleo a little when we were all in school, y’know, cus she was such a baby and it kindof made me feel bad to be willfully providing her with booze and weed and things that would rot her tiny pre-teen brain. Sorry, Cleo. I already told you you’re way cooler now, though, so now return the favor and don’t do anything to me while I sleep.”

from kai eastaughffe — truth: would you kill a spider for me? or dare: kill the spider in my room for me.

TJ let out a dramatic sigh and got to her feet. The booze hit her then, she realized as the world tilted sharply to the right and she braced one hand on the wall behind her, trying to look casual as everything slowly righted itself. “C’mon, A-Kai Berry, show me where the spider’s at. I’ll keep you safe.” She didn’t even really want to kill the thing, but a dare was a dare so she made quick work of it with Kai’s hotel room remote.

from salem st. ives — truth: do you think your family was right to warn you to stay away from the dirtbag? or dare: phone any one of your brothers and tell them kai has always had a crush on him.

TJ barked out a laugh, completely forgetting the first option as the tantalizing dare was presented. “Oh, baby, you got it,” she agreed, pulling her phone out and waiting for the Face ID to unlock it. “Siri, call Miley Cyrus.” The phone rang a few times before TJ’s youngest brother Miles picked up. “To preface this, I do need you to send me a picture of Gizmo, stat, because I miss him,” TJ started, not even waiting for Miles to ask why it was he was calling her at such a late hour, clearly intoxicated. “But I did call you to let you know that all those years ago? My friend Kai was like, totally in love with you. Used to stare at your closed bedroom door while you were being a super emo, and pine for you, waiting for you to come out.” “Well, you’re clearly drunk,” Miles responded finally. “But that’s good to know, I guess. Which one’s Kai, anyway?” “Oh, you know the one. Skinny, big hair, looks a little nervous. He’s a lawyer now, though, so you could do worse.” Miles snorted, which TJ knew was an acknowledgement-- he knew exactly who she was talking about. “Yeah, yeah. Your dog’s asleep, do you still want a picture?” “Absolutely I do. Thanks for pickin’ up, Smiley. Go to sleep soon I’ll see ya in a couple days.” “Yeah, yeah. Night, Teej.” “G’nite!” She let the call end, looking over at Kai. “Miles is just a simple woodworker, but I bet he thinks you’re cute. He could be your trophy husband.”

from samuel flores — truth: do you wish that the squad had never parted ways? or dare: let each member of the squad send one text to anyone they want in your phone..

Since TJ had already tucked her phone away, she decided to take the truth, nodding empathetically as she finished her drink. It seemed wise to steel herself before this confession. “You guys were my only friends, like ever.” She lets out a nervous half-laugh. “Seriously, when I moved here nobody thought I could talk, remember? It wasn’t until I was accepted by all of you guys that I felt like it was, y’know, even worth it. Talking. And now I’m doing too much of it, a little? It would’ve been nice to celebrate everyone’s accomplishments when they happened. Coming together again like how we did is a real bummer.”

from skylar murphy — truth: what’s your biggest worry in life? what keeps you up at night? or dare: confide in someone you normally wouldn’t confide in.

Skylar’s question is the one that gives TJ the most pause. Maybe its because her drink is gone, maybe its because her tongue feels funny, but she takes a long time, chin tucked into her knees before responding. “I think I worry that, I’m going to be alone. Not like, romantically or whatever,” TJ clarifies, waving that away in case anyone tries to remind her that she don’t need no man. “I’m not worried about that. But... I just said you guys were my only friends. I think I just loved you all so much it’s been really hard to make space in my life for new people even after all these years. I think I worry that I can’t ever get our old friendships back, so I’m going to be alone.” Since that was thoroughly depressing, she reached for a cup that wasn’t empty and tried to settle comfortably back into her spot. “Who’s next?”

#thesquadevent #thesquadtask #so late but im always late

[prismarine-parrots]

A Gorgeous Day!

Originally posted: 15 April, 2019

Requested by giratinashelper on Wattpad!

Mumbo was chilling at his base, his mind whirling with ways to do his next redstone project at his death pit-witch farm after a good night's sleep. He had gone to bed slightly late last night, so of course he slept in later, but that was perfectly fine because it was a gorgeous day. Even more beautiful than a normal clear day! The sky was a brilliant blue with puffy white clouds that sometimes floated through the top level of Mumbo's base, the sea a sparkling cerulean, the sun being blocked out by someone flying towards him...

Wait.

"Mumbo!" Xisuma called as he dove through the air and smoothly landed in front of the redstoner.

"Morning, Xisuma! What can I do for you?" Mumbo asked cheerfully.

The turtle man seemed rather relaxed, not busy doing Admin things or building strange geometric things out of a sea temple at impossible angles.

"Gorgeous day, isn't it?" X asked.

Mumbo nodded. "I was just thinking that myself!"

"Say, want to go play golf or something? Seems like too good a day to waste just doing the normal thing, y'know?" X suggested, likely smiling at the atmosphere behind his purple visor.

Mumbo grimaced and glanced back at his redstone chest that he had been about to grab components from.

"I don't know, I have a lot to do..."

"Aw come on! One day can't put you THAT off schedule, will it?"

Mumbo grimaced. He didn't HAVE a schedule for his redstone projects right now.

He sighed in defeat. "Alright, alright, you got me. Let me clear my inventory of all this redstone and I'll meet you over there, alright?"

X nodded and gave him a thumbs up. "See you in a few, Mumbo!"

The not-Doom guy took off and left the redstoner to his business. He put his redstone into a shulker box and tucked it into his inventory before pressing the button to reveal his special water source for throwing his trident, launching himself into the air and striking a firework in the direction of the Con Corp golf course. He was passing over the pirate district when he heard the faint cry of someone calling his name in the wind.

"Mumbo! Mumbo, can you help me?"

Mumbo glanced around for who was calling him. After circling the area for a few seconds he finally spotted a small, pale green figure waving to him from the top of the crow’s mast of her ship. He dipped towards the ship and landed on the deck so he didn’t have to attempt to land in the small space of the crow’s nest.

“Cleo! What can I do for you?”

“Hello, Mumbo! I was wondering if you wanted to help me with something?” The zombie woman asked, holding her precious armor stand manipulation book in her hands.

Mumbo grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, Cleo, but I was just heading over to the country club to meet Xisuma, he wanted to play golf apparently...”

Cleo’s hopeful expression fell and she sighed. “Alright, that’s fine... I’ll see you around, I guess.”

Well now I feel bad! Mumbo cringed to himself.

“Well, I mean... I could be a few minutes late to meeting X. He’s the once forcing me out after all?” He offered hesitantly.

Cleo grinned. “Payback? I like the sound of it! Now, I was just doing some simple redstone but I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong...?”

At the mention of redstone, Mumbo’s mind immediately started ticking as Cleo explain her issue and shows him the basic-enough circuit. Mumbo silently nodded and got to work, and Cleo watched as he did his magic. She was right- one would think hooking all this up would be an easy thing to do, but Mumbo found that for some reason the signal didn’t want to work the way both of them had assumed it would. Several attempts and re-wirings later, the fire charge cannons Cleo had been adding to her ship alongside the fake ones seemed to be working.

“Alright, that should do it, Cleo!” Mumbo decided, brushing his hands together to get rid of the excess redstone dust.

“Wow, Mumbo! That was amazing! I will never understand your redstone ways...” Cleo laughed. Mumbo held his neck with a hand again and blushed. At the same time, his phone buzzed in his trouser pocket.

<xisumavoid> where are you, Mumbo? I thought we were meeting at the golf course? It’s been half an hour!

“Oh, drat! I forgot about Xisuma! I’ve got to go, Cleo, see you later, I hope that redstone works tell me if you need anything else!” Mumbo rushed to get all his words out as he clambered over the ship railing and took off with his elytra. He used Grian-levels of fireworks to get to the golf course, still halfway across the map, as fast as he possibly could. He was still going far too fast when he dove to where X was sitting in a gold cart, sipping some type of potion as a drink.

“There you are! I’ve been waiting forever! Oh my days!” X complained, looking slightly irritated. “I may be a derp and you a spoon, but I thought you said you were just clearing your inventory? Scar saw me waiting and got me a complementary drink! We’re not supposed to have to owe favors to Con Corp!”

Scar, who was doing something on the inside of the country club after it being untouched for quite a while, waved cheerily to them before ducking back inside.

“Xisuma, I am so sorry, Cleo called for help on my way over and and I thought it was going to be like a five minute thing but got carried away and then next thing I know it’s—“

“Okay, okay, it’s fine Mumbo. They day is still beautiful, might as well play some golf now, better late than never?” The server’s admin suggested. Mumbo shrugged and readied his Fork of Friendship.

“Sure. Just know I’ll be winning,” Mumbo grinned cheekily underneath his facial hair, “I’ve had a few practices runs.”

Xisuma gasped. “You? Being cheeky? Oh my days, the world is ending. That or you’ve been hanging out too much with the other Architechs.”

“You’re probably right, to be honest,” Mumbo chuckled as they strolled up to the start of the golf course.

“You going first?” The redstoner offered. X shook his head.

“Your the one who was oh-so confident. Be my guest, Mumbo Jumbo.”

“I’m really going to regret saying that aren’t I?”

Mumbo hopped into the small hole of water and prepared his driver trident and an ender pearl. He held back his trident and prepared to throw it when...

“Mumbo! Xisuma! Wait for me!”

“Huh?!” Mumbo, started, yeeted his trident and was launched into the air. He instinctively threw his ender pearl and crashed into the ground, before crying out as he was teleported in top of some trees a ways away. His stomach lurched with teleportation sickness, as he was not expecting the teleport, but it soon passed and Mumbo tried to see back to the starting tee.

Who...? What? I’m so confused. That sounded a little like Cleo?

A few seconds later a figure launched into the air. There was a distinct shriek of surprise as an ender pearl cracked and they were teleported roughly thirty blocks from Mumbo. And indeed there was a mint green woman with bright orange hair, falling in her backside from momentum.

“Cleo?”

“Hi, Mumbo! I decided to come golfing with you!” Cleo waved cheerfully.

Xisuma landed perfectly on his feet on the terra-cotta of the range, like one was supposed to do.

“Oh hey, X,” Mumbo called from his tree. Xisuma looked around before spotting Mumbo above him and Cleo down off the side of the range. He sighed.

“This is going to be easy, isn’t it?”

“Alright boys, lets play some golf on this beautiful day!” Cleo cheered and seeing as she was farthest back, threw her trident and went flying.

—————————

Word count: 1370

#hermitcraft #mumbo jumbo #xisumavoid #xisuma #zombiecleo #request #becca writes

[psychnerd47]

Monster College Part 2

Rating: G, warnings none. 

Characters: Jackson Jekyll/ Holt Hyde, Invisi-Billy, Deuce Gorgon,  Frankie Stein, and Operetta

Invisi-Billy pulled out his phone, and started to call Abbey.

“Um, hey Abbey, it’s Billy.”

“Why are you calling so early in the morning?” the abominable snowwoman asked abruptly.

“Heath, has an 8:00 class, but he is still asleep, I was wondering if I should awaken him?”

  “You are not his mother, but if you think it’s a good idea?” Abbey added.

 The disappearing boy walked over to Heath’s bed and gave him a slight shove. But Invisi-Billy soon realized that really didn’t think this through, as all of a sudden Heath jolted awake with a head full of fire, triggering the sprinkler in their bedroom. Billy pushed his now soaked, blue-black hair out of his face, he didn’t have time to change he was now going to have to meet Scarah all soaked. Heath sat up, totally unfazed by the large amount of water in the room.

“Oh, look at the time,” Heath said as he jumped out of bed, “I need to get to class”.

 In the meanwhile Holt ran down the hall towards Jackson and Deuce’s room. “I just need to grab my swimsuit, Holt’s headed to the pool!” the blue skinned monster announced. But since subtlety was not one of Holt’s greater talents, as he crashed the door open he awoke Deuce. Deuce who was actually a morning monster, immediately knew what to do after he saw Holt’s presence.   “Hold it there dude,” Deuce called out, “Jackson, has to get to class.” The gorgon boy grabbed Jackson’s headphones and put them on the head of the blue-skinned monster. Instantly turning him back into, nerdy human boy Jackson.

Jackson started to freak out, “Why am I only in a towel? Where are my clothes? I need to get to class.”

 “It’s ok dude, Holt showed up, probably while you were showering.” Deuce said calmly, “I’ll go get your stuff for you and then you can go to class, might save you some embarrassment,” Deuce said in a supportive voice.

“Thanks,” said Jackson sheepishly.

    Invisi-Billy made finally made it to the dying-hall, to meet Scarah. The Banshee girl was sitting at a table waiting for her disappearing boyfriend. “Are you alright?” she asked when she saw how soaked Billy was.

 “Heath had an accident this morning, and he set off the fire sprinkler,” Billy explained.

 “You poor dear,” Scarah said. Since Scarah was telepathic Billy always had to tell the truth, even if it was embarrassing.

       After Jackson got his backpack and clothes back, he started to run to get to class. He didn’t have time to grab breakfast so he just grabbed a Zombie Energy drink, since he didn’t want to fall asleep in class. When Jackson made it to Coding 101 he spotted Ghoulia Yelps. She was a zombie, who also had a prefect GPA in high school and was even valedictorian for their class, so it was not surprising to see that she also bypassed Introduction to Coding. Jackson grabbed a seat next to her.

The coding teacher was a middle age cyborg who looked like he had been working with computers since they first came out. The class was going well until Mr. Cybernik decided to share his favorite music video about coding with the class. Jackson spent that time hiding under his desk with his hands over his ears. The coding class ended with Mr. Cybernik assigning a whole caskets worth of homework.

 Billy went to find his Monster Anatomy and Physiology class, he had written that it was in room 235 of the Stoker Building of Natural History and Science. The disappearing boy spotted room 235. When he walked in he spied some fellow students he recognized from high school: Jinafire Long, Skelita Calaveras, Rochelle Goyle, and Deuce’s mummy girlfriend Cleo de Nile. Invisi-Billy was so glad he would be in a class with people he knew. He found a seat next to Jinafire. “I didn’t realize you were all taking this class,” the invisible boy started, “but I’m greatful.”

The Chinese dragon girl just smiled awkwardly. A pompous looking gargoyle walked into the class room. She was large and wore an expensive looking pink dress. Billy was confused, she didn’t look like the teacher on the My Campus page for his class. He had been expecting a skinny, mad scientist with a long beard.

The gargoyle teacher had a list she was starting to call off for attendance, when she got to Billy she asked him who he was in a voice that sounded like she did not have time for any nonsense. “Um, Invisi-Billy Mann,” the disappearing boy answered.

 “You are not on my list, you are taking Introduction to Monstropolgy aren’t you?” the instructor asked.

 “No,” Billy answered, “I’m supposed to be taking Monster Anatomy and Physiology.”

The gargoyle instructor rolled her eyes, “You supposed to be in room 235 ‘B’, this is room 235 ‘A’”.

Billy blushed, and then started to turn invisible from the embarrassment. The rest of the class watched as what appeared to be a hoodie, jeans, beanie and back pack walked out of the classroom.

Invisi-Billy quietly sneaked into the correct classroom. Luckily for him the professor Dr. Choppenguts had not begun to call attendance yet. The dark-blue haired boy spied Lagoona Blue and Gil Webber, and grabbed a chair next to the beautiful Australian sea monster girl. “Crikey, Billy. You were almost late for class, that is not like you at all,” Lagoona said.

Insvisi-Billy blushed again, “ I accidently went to the wrong class room,”

Gil laughed, “It’s ok, Billy that could happen to anyone. Yesterday I showed up to the wrong dormroom and I thought I was going to have to be roommates with Kieron Valentine instead of Clawd,” the river monster laughed.

Billy smiled, “I would never want to be roommates with Valentine, with his extra Southern Accent, and he’s so uptight you would think his underwear is three sizes too small.”

“That’s really funny,” Gil whisper laughed, “but you know who won’t be laughing? Johnny Spirit. Operetta says that he and Valentine were assigned to be roommates.”

 Johnny Spirit was a Rockabilly Greaser ghost, who played the fiddle and was Operetta’s boyfriend. Operetta was the sassy, high octane Rockabilly daughter of the Phantom of the Opera’s daughter.

Billy laughed again, but then turned to face Doctor Choppenguts who started his lecture about how even though how all monsters are very different, their bodies all function very similarly. Billy started to mentally drift off, he doodled in his notebook, maybe he shouldn’t have followed Mr. Rotter’s advice about being a doctor and followed his dream of being a stage tech.

Frankie Stien, the beautiful and sweet daughter of Frankenstein’s monster and his bride, invited Jackson to an early lunch with her at the campus Ick-Fil-A. Jackson still felt a little awkward with his relationship with Frankie because she had previously broken up with him, when his going back and forth between Jekyll and Hyde had gotten out of control, but he still harbored a crush on her, even if she just saw him as her best friend. “I actually kinda miss having my mom around,” Jackson admitted to Frankie, “she kept me company and helped me to remember the silliest little things I always forget such as clean underwear,” Jackson sighed.

Frankie put her hand on his shoulder, “It will be ok, at least you get to be roommates with two of your best friends. I’m sorry you are feeling discouraged by the ‘Holt’ episode this morning, but don’t give up yet.” The stitched together girl encouraged.  Jackson didn’t say anything a quietly sipped his soda, but the quietness was not going to last.

A lilac-colored skinned girl, with a bright red Victory Roll hair style waltzed over to the two of them, it was Operetta Phantom. “Hey, y’all,” she called out with her smooth, charming Southern accent, “Johnny and I are hosting a big ‘ol  rockin’ shindig tonight, we got permission to use the student union hall, which is just a floor above this here dying hall. So be there or be square,” she laughed.

“That sounds amazing,” Frankie said in awe, “what is going to happen at the party?”

 “Well,” the Rockabilly phantom answered,“ Johnny and I are going to play rockin’ live music for us all to dance too. I’ve even gotten Deuce to help me cook up some of my family’s dang famous gumbo recipe,” she turned to Jackson who looked super uncomfortable about going to a party with hot music, “you are going to come right?”

Jackson grew even more awkward, he jumped to his feet clumsily, “I just remembered,” he started awkwardly, “I really have to go to the bathroom.” suddenly the human boy shot out of the room.

*                       *                                   *

 Jackson sat on the floor of a bathroom stall crying and hoping no one would notice him. Why did people have to keep inviting him to parties, didn’t they understand that he couldn’t come.

From his hiding place Jackson heard someone else walk in, “Hey Jackson dude,”

Jackson recognized the voice to belong to Deuce, “are you alright? Frankie sent me to check on you. She’s concerned.” The Gorgon boy explained, “you need to come out. I know you have been having some setbacks with Holt. But you can’t keep avoiding everything,” Deuce continued, “you really need to get out more often. Frankie and I will look after you, even if you turn to Holt, we won’t let you get out of control,” the snake-haired boy assured his friend.

“Ok,” Jackson answered quietly as he started to leave the bathroom, he hoped that Deuce wouldn’t notice he had been crying.

 Meanwhile, Invisi-Billy sat alone in the dying hall with a very pathetic piece of cafeteria pizza, as he sat in his misery, a certain red-haired Rockabilly phantom waltzed up to him. “Why so glum sugar-plum? I bet ya haven’t heard about my party?”

Tags @queenofworry

#monster high #monster high fanfiction #mh fandom #mh fanfiction #my fanfiction #jackson jekyll #invisi billy #holt hyde #deuce gorgon #operetta #frankie stein #monster college #my stories