#the end made me cry so much and it’s not even sad

[wand3rlustm3]

TAEHYUN - MAGIC TRICK

Warnings: smut, fingering, sub fem!reader, childhood friends to lovers, slight size kink

Taehyun was already mesmerizing enough, simply because of the way he carried himself. Even without mentioning his perfectly crafted face, his elegant features, or the way his hair sprawled across his face each time it moved when it wasn't gelled out of the way. The way his eyes sparkled as they looked into yours even though you were both just friends, the way they looked like they were only meant to look into yours.

You and Taehyun had met each other as kids when your mom had forgotten to pick you up at school, and as tears rolled down your face, he was the only one to wipe them away despite being just as young as you. He always seemed to just know the right things to say, and growing up whenever you felt any emotion, he stuck by you and chose to make you feel better regardless of how you felt. As he grew older, his features matured, and you couldn't help but accept that what the things you felt towards him weren't as simple as platonic emotions. Was it something more? No, it couldn't be, right?

As you walked underneath the multicolored sky, with grey clouds shrouding the setting sun. You figured it would rain, and your house was farther than Taehyun's from the café you worked at. So here you found yourself once more, at the doorstep of his house. However, it started raining long before you could reach there and you ended up soaking wet as you rang the doorbell. Even though the both of you grew older, you couldn't help but want him beside you. As the lightning strikes behind you, Taehyun opens the door.

"Hey y/n, please come in! I was going to call you over, are you okay? Why are you standing outside in this storm?" said Taehyun with concern. But in your head, all you could think is how he looked at you with his sparkly eyes again. No! Don't look at me with those eyes...

"Hey...I just wanted to stop by, but it started storming before I could get here. I'm sorry for showing up randomly." You frowned and spoke with a slight pout on your face.

"Well, you gonna come in or not?" Taehyun smiled at you, wrapping his beautiful fingers around your wrist and his other around your waist. You could feel the contrast of his warm touch through your now cold and wet clothes. Of course, he was wearing one of those tight black compression tees with no sleeves. You could see each and every single vein of his. You could see his muscles bulging each time he swayed his arm while leading you in. You wondered what else he could do with those hands of his....

—

Ever since the day he saw you crying at school, he never wanted you to shed another tear. He never wanted a sad expression to cover your delicate eyes that blinked a little too much when they were confused or tearing up, he never wanted your lips to shake when those very tears fell, or even the corners to droop a little. After Taehyun wrapped you in a towel and led you to his room to give you some of his spare clothes to wear, which were already oversized on him, so they fit you even looser. Taehyun couldn't explain how that made him feel. He wanted to take care of you, but a part of him wanted to ruin you. He wanted to ruin you so that no one else could have you. Just him, you'd be just his forever, but he's too scared to mess up what he has already.

"Y/n, why don't you come here? You wanna drink a little bit to warm up from how chilly it's gotten outside? Plus, we can loosen up a little and just relax. You can even sleep over since the storm probably won't subside till tomorrow morning. I have magic tricks to show you!" said Taehyun enthusiastically. "Sure Tyun, I'm up for it if you are." You say as you show him the sweetest smile. He poured both you and him a shot each, and you decided to quickly go sit on the couch he was on.

As you downed the shot and plopped down onto the couch next to him. You could see a bunch of different things laid out on his coffee table, ranging from a stack of cards to small items like a coin. "What's all this for Tyun? Learning more magic tricks?" You questioned. Inside your head, you questioned if he could make your complicated feelings for him disappear instead of any of the objects. "Yeah y/n! There's some really cool ones I have to show you." said Taehyun. When he told you that he had new tricks to show you, you didn't think it would involve so many lingering touches. You were burning up, and unfortunately, Taehyun caught onto it as usual.

You usually did tend to get hot after a shot, which was originally the reason why the both of you took a shot together. But, now you felt your blood rushing to your core because Taehyun and you were both tipsy, and you knew how clingy he got after drinking a little bit. This is exactly how you got to the position of him hovering above you on the couch as you laid down, as he pulled out yet another coin from behind your ear as you looked for where it disappeared to. "Tyun, can you show me how to do a trick?" You knew that curiosity killed the cat, so why did you ask the question you just did?

Taehyun smirked. Why is he smirking? You were going to explode, and you swore this man would be the death of you. "You know a magician never reveals his tricks....but this time I'll show you exactly how to do it." said Taehyun as he moved his face just centimeters away from yours, a hint of mischief in his voice—he continued on to say, "but you have to sit back and really relax, ok y/n? You can tell me to stop any time you want. We don't even have to do this if you don't want to."

His eyes sparkled just as much they did each time he looked at you, and you could see he meant every word he was saying. "Tyun, you know I trust you with my life, right?" Your eyes reflected his as you looked into them with just as much admiration as he did. You wanted to tell him you love him horribly in this moment, but something held you back. What if he didn't want you in that way? What if—

Suddenly, you felt his warm hand on your cheek as he pulled you into a searing, passionate, and long kiss. You felt every emotion of his, every second that he longed for you, you felt every ounce of love that he held back all these years. Everything was poured into that one kiss. You tasted the shot on his lips, but you didn't want to pull away. Your feelings for him washed over you in the most dramatic waves, and you kept kissing him until you felt each atom of oxygen leave your lungs. "Tyun, I love you. Please..."

You were so needy that you could only squeeze your thighs together and whimper. "I love you more, darling. You wanna know what my magic trick is, baby? I can make my fingers disappear." said Taehyun with that smirk of his plastered onto his perfect face once again. "W- what do you mean Tyun? Please don't tease me." You blushed and hid your face to the side of the sofa, but Taehyun just put his hand on your jaw and made you look at him.

"Baby, to learn the trick, you're going to have to watch me, right?" said Taehyun. You could have came just from him being so suggestive with you. You couldn't take him being on top of you like this any longer if he didn't do anything. He made quick work of your top and bottoms and slipped your panties off of your legs slowly. "You're so beautiful for me, all for me....only for me y/n." Taehyun breathed out in a whisper.

A moan escapes your lips as soon as you see his lips latch on to your clit, he licks a stripe up your cunt and proceeds to keep eye contact just so he can make sure you're watching how dirty he's being. "T- Tyun! Mmmh—" you whimpered pathetically, and Taehyun moaned out simply because of how beautiful you sounded as you dripped onto his faux leather couch. "Baby, I'm going to show you the main part of the trick, keep watching closely okay? You're doing amazing. You'll be great at this trick darling."

He took his ring and middle finger and played around with your slick until they coated his long and slender fingers, and he slowly slipped into you inch by inch. "Tyuuun! I can't—'s too much!" You moaned out and and teared up, it's not that it hurt, but it's that it felt too good that you felt like you'd lose your mind.

"Baby, you can take it. Take your time, I'm right here." said Taehyun as he brought his face back up to you, placed the hand gripping your hips on to your cheek, and left another long kiss with his plush and swollen lips onto yours. You tasted yourself on him, and you felt even more intoxicated and dizzy than you did after getting tipsy from that shot. "a- ahhh please Tyun...please move. Do something, please!" You begged him. After all, he couldn't ever reject a request from his princess. "At your command, darling" Taehyun said in a raspy manner.

Taehyun managed to brush against your most sensitive spot each time he moved his fingers, and it felt so good that it didn't even take him many strokes until you were screaming his name. "Tyun!! Please, I- I mmmh— cumming!!!" You mewled as tears rolled down your pretty face. Taehyun looked up at you like you were his world as you came down from your high, because you were his world.

"Told you I'd make my fingers disappear baby, think you can show me if you can make something else disappear next?" Taehyun whispered into your ear, as he proceeded to leave marks onto your neck.

The only thing he couldn't make disappear even if he could.

#kang taehyun #txt smut #txt #txt x reader #smut #taehyun txt #friends to lovers

[morgana-larkin]

I love angst for some reason, but can you write a Melissa x reader breakup fic? Where reader is in their mid 20’s and Melissa is obviously wayyy older than her. Melissa realized that they’re both heading in different paths in life and tries to gently breakup with reader, but calls her all the pet names like “kid/kiddo, young one, little bunny, etc” (this is taken from Taylor Swift’s ‘Illicit Affairs’ where she’s going “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby, look at this godforsaken mess that you’ve made me…”)

Maybe a part two if you’re feeling up to it, with gentle smut as reader and Melissa get back together and make love again? 👀

Oh I’m definitely making a part two to this, I mean I can’t leave things with Melissa on a sad note. So I went with the nicknames hon and kid. I did ended listening to the Taylor Swift song and based some of the things off of the song. And I just gotta say that I procrastinated on doing this for 4 days straight as it hit too close to home. I called off my engagement 3 months ago to someone 15 years older than me because we were heading down different paths in life. Anyway, not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: still taking prompts peeps!

Don’t Call Me That

Warnings: Angst and no comfort, no happy ending, may break your heart like it did for me

Words: 2.25k

You and Melissa are cuddling on the couch watching real housewives. Melissa found out you’ve never seen it so of course she had to show you. The two of you have been together for about 8 months now and never been happier.

Well, you have never been happier. Melissa was happy, but she still has so much doubt on whether or not she should have gotten with someone so much younger than her. Especially when you made comments on what you want to do with your life.

“I hope to get married someday.” You said once. “Maybe we can have kids together.” You said another time. “We should go out to a bar or a club together sometime.” You said one time. Melissa just looked at you and smiled each time but didn’t reply. Those thoughts swirl around in Melissa’s head until one day she couldn’t ignore them, you both wanted different things and she couldn’t let this relationship go on even more.

“Hey hon, can we talk?” She says to you when she visits you at your place on Saturday.

“Alright, sure.” You said, none the wiser. You and Melissa go on your couch and you face her with a smile. Melissa wishes you weren’t smiling as it makes it harder knowing that she’ll be that reason for that smile to drop.

“I don’t think this is working out anymore.” She starts and you look at her confused.

“What do you mean?” You ask and you frown.

“I mean this.” She says and gestures between you both. “Our relationship, I think we should end it.”

“Why?” You ask, concerned.

“Because we want different things in life hon. I don’t want to get married again, I wanted kids before but not anymore, and I don’t want to go to clubs if I don’t have too. But you’re young, you should have things you want and you should do it.” She tells you and you look down at your lap. She really wants to comfort you but knows she can’t.

“So that’s it? We’re over, just like that? I have no say in this?” You ask her and she looks guilty.

“I’m afraid so hon.” She says and you snap you head up at her.

“Don’t call me that if you’re gonna break up with me.” You snap and that catches her off guard. She knows you might be upset but didn’t think you’d snap at her, but she doesn’t blame you.

“I’m sorry y/n.” She tells you.

“Please leave.” You say and she nods defeatedly. She gets up and walks to the door and opens it. Before she leaves, she glances at you.

“I really am sorry.” She says and leaves. As soon as she closes the door, you get up and lock it, then you put your back on the door and slide down while crying.

On Monday you walked in the doors of Abbott and went to the break room as usual. Only this time instead of saying hi to Melissa when you pass her, you just walked right by her to the fridge.

“Hi hon.” Melissa says to you.

“Don’t call me that.” You say as you put your lunch in the fridge. Everyone turns their attention to you and Melissa as they knew you were dating. “My name is y/n.” You say to her and go to make a coffee.

“I know what your name is.” She tells you as you pour the coffee into your mug.

“Then I suggest you use it.” You tell her and walk out.

Melissa sighs and leans back into her seat.

“Trouble in paradise?” Barb asks Melissa.

“If trouble you mean broken up then yes.” Melissa says and everyone gasps.

“Omg what happened?” Janine asks.

“None of youse businesses.” She tells them and walks out. Everyone turns to Barb for answers.

“Don’t look at me, the only thing I know is Melissa broke up with y/n if their emotions are anything to go by.” Barb tells them.

Melissa tries to talk to you for the rest of the day when she gets an opportunity but you keep shutting her down.

She keeps trying every day for 2 weeks until she had enough. She got Mr Johnson to watch over her class while she goes to talk to you during your prep period.

She knocks on your door and walks in after you call out a ‘come in’ to whoever was there. When you look up you see the person you least expected, mostly because she has a class right now.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be teaching?” You tell her as she closes your door.

“Mr Johnson is watching them until I get back. I need to talk to you hon.”

“I keep telling you not to call me that! And the last time we talked, you broke up with me so I don’t really want to talk to you.” You told her and she sighs. You get up and go to bring a stack of papers to the back of the classroom.

“I know but I’ve been trying to at least be friends with you like we were before we started dating because I like our friendship.” She tells you as she follows you to the back and you whip around to face her.

“Friends? You think I would want to be friends with you? Melissa, do I need to remind you that you broke up with me and didn’t even bother talking about it with me? You just made the decision on your own.” You grit out.

“It was the best decision.”

“For who exactly? Cause it sure wasn’t the best for me.” You tell her and she looks at you.

“It was for you. I made it for you so you can have the life you want. I can’t give you everything! So I let you go so you could! Believe me when I tell you that I didn’t want to break up with you! You are the best damn thing to happen to me and it broke me to let you go!” She tells you and you gasp.

“That’s the reason?!? You. Are. An. Idiot Schemmenti! Just because I may have thought about certain things doesn’t mean it’s set in stone. I’m 25 and I’m not certain about what I want to do in life.”

“See that right there is what I’m talking about. You have no idea what you want cause your life has just begun, while mine, well I’m 55, I’m going to retire in 10 years hopefully. My life is almost over.” She tells you frantically and at that Barb comes in.

“Girls, can you quiet down. It’s hard enough to teach 5 year olds how to read the alphabet as it is. It’s even harder with your yelling.” She tells you both and you look at Melissa.

“What I knew I wanted in life was you. But I guess I was wrong. You should get back to your class.” You tell her and you leave to go print something. “Sorry Barb.” You tell her as you pass her by.

Barb looks at Melissa who has a couple tears rolling down her cheeks. “Sweetheart, what were you trying to accomplish here?” She asks her and Melissa lets a sob escape.

“I was trying to be friends with her again.” She tells her.

“Melissa, you just broke up with her out of the blue. At least for her it was out of the blue. You have to give it time before she might consider being your friend again.” Barb tells her and Melissa nods.

“I know, I just, I miss her.”

“Listen I have to go back to my classroom and you have to go back to yours but how about you come to my classroom at lunch and we can talk then.” Barb suggests and Melissa wipes her tears away.

“Ok.” She says with a nod and then leaves back to her classroom.

2 months go by and Melissa has stopped any interaction with you. You still know she looks and stares at you but never talks to you.

Melissa can’t help it whenever she sees you, she never talks to you even though she wants to, she just stares at you. Her heart breaks every time she sees you.

10 weeks after she breaks up with you, your both in the break room along with everyone else. You’re talking to the trio and they ask about your weekend plans and you mention you have a date. Melissa whips her head up from looking at her phone and her jaw drops and eyes got watery.

You may not be able to see her face but you saw her whip her head up. You also see Barb looking at her sympathetically which means she must look sad right now.

You tell them your contemplating on whether or not you should go, you think you shouldn’t but Janine and Gregory tell you to go and Jacob tells you no. You go over to Barb for the tie breaker and you show her a picture of the girl, Melissa also sees the picture of her and she realises that you’re going out with someone around her age.

Barb tells you it’s your choice and that’s when Melissa pipes up. “Isn’t she too old for you kid?” She asks you while taking a bite of her pasta.

You glare at her and scoff. “I think that’s for me to decide, cause I do have a say in some things.” You tell her and she looks down guiltily.

On Monday morning you walk in the break room and the trio asks you how your date went.

“It was alright. We’re going out again this Saturday.” You tell them and you hear Melissa scoff. “Something you want to say Melissa?” You ask her and she turns around in her chair.

“It doesn’t seem you’re interested in her since you said it was alright.” She tells you.

“Well it was my first date with her and I haven’t had a first date in a year.” You say and she stands up, grabs her things and walks out. You turn back to the trio and continue the conversation. Barb follows Melissa out to make sure she’s not destroying anything or about too.

The next Monday you’re talking to the trio about your second date and you tell them that you’re not going to see her again as you’re not interested in her. You don’t see it but Melissa smiles. You don’t but Barb sure does and rolls her eyes at her.

It’s been 3 months since the break up now and you stop by quickly at Melissa’s to get a few things she recently found that’s yours. In reality, Melissa found them 3 months ago and hid them when you came to get your things so she would have a few reminders of yours but now she wants an excuse to talk to you.

The box of your things is on the coffee table and Melissa is sitting on the arm of the couch when you walk in. Melissa told you that she’ll leave the door unlocked for you.

“Are those the things?” You tell her and nod your head to the box and she nods at you.

“Ya, it is.” She tells you and you don’t really move, she sees you looking around. You usually went to her place about 3 times a week to hang out with her after school and she would make dinner for you two.

“How are you kid?” She asks you and you look at her.

“I thought I’ve told you to stop with the nicknames and use my actual name.”

“You have, but I like using nicknames for you.” Is all she says.

“Why?”

“Because I always have, I’ve rarely called you by your actual name. It feels wrong to call you by your actual name.”

“Well you might want to work on how to make it sound right.” You tell her and walk over to grab the box and she grabs your wrist and you gasp.

“You never answered me when I asked how you were.” She tells you.

“You really want to know how I am?” You ask and she nods. “I’m broken.” You told her and her eyes look upset. “You broke up with me and now I’m broken and a mess. I chose not to go on a third date because all I thought about on the two dates was you.” You tell her and she lets go of you but you make no attempt to move. You want to challenge her to something to see what she really thinks and you grab the back of her head and you kiss her. She’s stunned for a second but then she automatically kisses you back but then you pull back 3 seconds later and she looks at you shocked. “You can’t tell me that that doesn’t feel right. I may not know much about what I want in life but I know I wanted to spend it with you. I’m aware of the age gap but it never made a difference to me because I love you. I thought you loved me.” You tell her then you grab the box and leave.

As soon as you close the door, Melissa falls down on the couch and starts crying. “I’m so sorry y/n.” She sobs out. “I do still love you.”

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

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Let me know if you want to be added!

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x oc #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti #x reader #fanfic

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

Can you make some sad libby headcanons? I swear all your other sad headcanons made me cry😭

sad libby head canons

YES! libby is literally the fucking best and she's so underrated. trigger warning for self-harm, suicidal thoughts/attempts, eating disorders, and sexual assault. hope you like them <3.

she used to apologize to her mother after she would hit her (in tig she says her mother used to hit her when she was stressed)

she's been self-harming since she was like 12. she used the blade in her pencil sharpener and cut the tops of her thighs (you can't see them even when she wears shorts)

drake convinced her that him SAing her was out of love, and that he knew she 'wanted' it so she should stop complaining. she'd be the one who ended up apologizing to him after he'd assault her

in high school, because of how tough things were at home, she used to do drugs (she had this really bad group of friends that sort of influenced her) (she didn't get addicted to the drugs though, if was more of a once in a while thing when she couldn't handle her life anymore)

at some point, her mom was doing really badly financially, and they were forced to move into a smaller one bedroom apartment. libby thought her mom deserved the bed bc she worked so hard so she slept on the floor.

she's so used to people hitting her that it doesn't even hurt anymore. when someone does, she sort of dissociates in order to not feel anything.

her mom used to tell her she was overweight (she was literally underweight, her mom was just jealous). libby then developed an eating disorder (bulimia)

the ED was sort of an on and off thing for her. every once in a while, she'd get the idea in her head that she was overweight and ugly and should do smth about it, but, then, avery or one of her friends would help her get better.

the reason she's drawn to men like drake is bc it's the only thing she's familiar with. her mom was a piece of shit too, so for her its what's normal/what she deserves (this is less of a head canon and more psychology but eh)

she'll do anything anyone asks of her. she can't say no even if it makes her uncomfortable/she doesn't have the time/doesn't like that person.

she sometimes gets so mad at the world that she punches walls until her bones almost break.

she hates getting mad at people bc she reminds herself of her mother.

she's terrified of becoming a mother (even though she wants to be one) bc she's convinced herself that she'll be like her mom, if not worse.

her mom used to get mad at her for ricky (her father) leaving. so much so that libby started blaming herself for it

drake used to tell libby that if she didn't let him have his way with her, he'd hurt avery. libby, of course, didn't want that so she would let him do awful things to her.

she hates taking baths bc drake used to waterboard her (if you don't know what that is, search it up)

when libby used to do things her mom didn't approve of/like (mistakes all children make and learn from like spilling a glass of milk), she would deny libby basic needs like food, water, a bed to sleep in etc.

idk if this one will make sense (it makes sense to me but idk), but libby dyes her hair a new color very often bc its a way for her to start anew. like lets say she breaks up with drake again and she hates herself for getting back together with him in the first place, she dyes her hair a new color to signify the beginning of a new era.

she will literally break her back to please people/be the person they want her to be. if they think she talks to much, she'll stop talking, etc (people's opinions of her matter a lot to her)

tw prob one of the darkest hcs i've ever written: libby ended up in the hospital once bc she slit her wrists trying to off herself. this happened right before she took avery in. the doctors didn't think she'd make it.

she'd considered offing herself multiple times before and after the last hc, but she doesn't bc just the thought of it makes her feel guilty. she doesn't want people to cry over her bc she thinks she doesn't deserve their tears, and she doesn't want to leave people she wants to help

she insists everyone get therapy but herself bc, to her, other people matter more

the only thing that brought her comfort as a child was this stuffed bunny. she used to press it to her wounds bc it would dull the pain (this might not make sense but whenever i get hurt (cause im ass clumsy bitch), putting pressure on the wound dulls the pain). she also found comfort in how soft it was.

drake threw that bunny away cause he thought it was worthless. libby told nash about this and he searched the entire fucking country until he found that damn stuffed bunny (idk how he did but he's a hawthorne so...)

when she has panic attacks, she'll either be very silent/still in a corner or she'll be clawing/pulling at anything around her (including herself)

she didn't do well in school not bc she wasn't smart but bc the students and teachers were so creepy towards her (would harass her constantly) that she felt uncomfortable even stepping into the school

absolutely hates it when drunk people interact with her/get too close to her bc whenever drake got drunk, he'd hit her

hannah's death hit her hard too. they were actually much closer than people thought they were. hannah helped her through a lot of shitty things that happened in her life. she would visit her grave every once in a while to tell her she wished she was still here bc her life (and avery's) was absolutely shit without her. she would breakdown in the middle of the graveyard every time

whenever she felt like hurting herself but didn't have a blade nearby, she would dig her fingernails into the already existing wounds to make them bleed again.

drake once beat her up so bad she ended up in the hospital with brain swelling and a fractured arm. the swelling in her brain was so bad they didn't know if she'd make it out alive.

here's a happy libby head canon to (hopefully) make it all better:

she used to be this supervisor at a daycare when she was younger (that's probably not even a thing but lets pretend it is). the kid would make her drawings all of the time with hearts and proposals and stuff. she loved the kids so much, she would hug every single one of them and bake them cupcakes. they were literally her best friends, and some of them still send her messages through their mom/dad (she would befriend their parents and give them her number/email)

not proof read bc i'm a lazy ass bitch. i say this in every post, but pls talk to someone if you need help (if there's no one in your life you can talk to, contact a helpline). sending lots of love to everyone <3.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #avery grambs #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #libby grambs

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads / storygraph

Sheiné łénde

prequel to Elatsoe, following her grandmother as a teen in the 1970s

after a devastating flood and loss of family members & their traditional home, she works with her mother & their ghost dogs, tracking down missing people

when a local boy goes missing - and her mother, when trying to find him - strange fairy rings (not the usual, reliable ones used for transport) might be to blame, and she and her friends, brother, and lone (unreliable) grandfather have to try find them

friendship, family, ecology, no romance, ghost bugs :)

(title pronounciation: Sheh-ee-neh lehneh)

arc from netgalley, out 16 April 2024!

#Sheine Lende #Sheiné łénde #darcie little badger #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #once again perfect and beautiful with such a quiet strength #such good friendships & family/culture #and the paranormal + ecology + fairytale logic almost #also of course the beautiful illustrations by Rovina Cai #not only the cover (which makes more sense after reading!) but also the chapter illustrations telling their own story again #I did sometimes feel like. it felt more modern than the setting? I was trying to figure out when it was set based on like. assumption of ag #(since it doesn't actually say in the book; just the acknowledgements) #the end made me cry so much and it’s not even sad #I feel like I need to reread elatsoe now... #no romance #also it has some side sapphics

[zaynes-left-chesticle]

Okay I just read Zayne's "Still in Dark" anecdote, and now I'm crying and also my jaW IS ON THE GROUND, WHAT IN THE FUC-

----

enjoy the tags, I just needed to vent....

And I'm scared 🤣

#hoooooly shit when i tell you i was confused about the timeline before ... ash.exe has officially stopped responding #semi spoiler alert/ me venting.... youve been warned #ARE WE NOT REAL IN HIS DIMENSION? Are we just pulling a freaking spongebob and showing up in his dreams? #im scared somebody hold me. im freaking crying cuz that was so sad but also SERIOUSLY WTFFFF IS GOING ON #love and deepspace #okay im done screaming im sorry #but seriously.... there is so much happening i dont know whats real and what isnt. #i wanted to think Tower of Thorns was just AU but now with the whole growing jasmine parallel and Linkon City being years in the past....? #ffs i need some theories cuz im just sending myself down a rabbit hole trying to decide what's going on #like what? am i just popping up in zaynes dreams to save him from loneliness while he helps me save the universe from getting access to my #and pops up in Raf's life to rescue him after losing everything while he also magically helps me save the universe from the aether's power #and Xai/Lumiere who's what... like 300+ years old somehow knows who i am? #WHO AM I? some dimension-jumping dream-hopping timeline-skipping superhuman with the core strength of 10000 suns and i don't even remember? #i need to read the rest of Xai's lore.... #anyways welcome to the end of the tags. i hope you had fun. if you made it this far.... i am so sorry 🤣

[numbaoneflaya]

stealing this off reddit but this was so fucking funny 😭😭😭 poor kid just cannot catch a break

#hotd #house of the dragon #hotd spoilers #his 'me??' had me fucking dying like we all know that feeling when ur sibling snitches on u and ur not even sure if it wAS u or not #aegon targaryen #his face in the last bit. i am going to CRY #really was not expecting this kid to be a fav but hes so funny and relatable #i can see why he drinks so much when this is his family life. aww now i made myself sad #also know iv made that exact face at the end when my dads up yelling in my face

[sysig]

Reading moodboard #84430940 (Patreon)

#Doodles #I wonder what this is in reference to lol - could be anything really! #Bit funny actually - I was reading something else in overlap at the time - a fic from another fandom though it ended up not being for me #Different authors just speak to different people! It was fun to come back to something familiar and realize Just how much I appreciate it ah #Novel and familiar! My very favourite <3 And of course it was a wonderful experience on top of that hehe ♪♫ #Numbers lol - I really have done way too much age headcanon math pfft #I just love timelines! And even if the hints aren't exact they /are/ hints and I'm going to use them!! #The numbers that are established are such fun markers - and using characterization as hints towards how many years have passed! Ah! ♪ #Like how it's definitely possible that Max took a two year but considering his family he was probably pushed to do a four year #There's no confirmation either way but it's just so fun to consider what they'd do based on how they're written! #These are the kind of written math problems I enjoy hehe #I was being a bit self-deprecating for that doodle actually tho lol - art mimics life and all that pfft #Also confirmation of him being a Lit Major ❤️💕💖💞💗 Small details give me big love you must understand this lol #As evidenced lol ♪ Adding to my playlist definitely didn't help it very strongly upgraded to Big Love for like a week straight lol #Terrible ♪ Couldn't stand it <3 Genuinely painful ♫ #Lol - ''finding'' more - it's what had my blood on fire! I'm so grateful for mirrors #Anyone who's been following me for a while knows I have this whole thing about Legacy and what you leave behind and the internet in general #That the internet is forever except when it's not - that plenty of things get deleted or lost etc. etc. and it makes me very sad :( #So seeing that there was an in-built preservation - it only saved Some things but anything saved is precious!! It made me very happy <3 #And then finishing off 💔💕 Beautifully heartbreaking ah #Even skim-reading later made me cry again! It's deeply affecting hhh #Another experience I'm so happy to be able to have ♥ Another tally on the wall haha <3

[licorishh]

Replayed Modern Warfare 3 2011 on Veteran tonight and goooooooood night. Blood Brothers never gets any easier to watch no matter how many times you've done it and the ending really never misses huh

I apologize for the amount of yapping in the tags I reread it all on mobile and started giggling because it went on for so long but eh. Blessed are those who won't shut the freak up and all that

#call of duty #modern warfare 3 2011 #i just. wow. wow wow wow wow wow #i've played these three games so many times over the last several years and i just. #they literally. never get old. #loose ends and blood brothers will never not make me cry and endgame and dust to dust will never not make me smile so hard #ending it with price smoking the cigar like he did in the first mission in the first game wHEN HE FIRST MET SOAP JUST UGHHHHHH. #i know y'all don't care but i don't care that y'all don't care i could literally yap about this until i shrivel up and die #i have never ever ever in my LIFE seen poetic justice played out so beautifully like it is at the very end #JUST. WOW. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. WOW WOW. WOW #they do not frickin make games like that anymore DADGUM #i also forgot how frickin sad down the rabbit hole is?? like jeez louise they didn't have much screen time but gosh #i also have never in my life heard such gut-wrenching anguish from a grown man in my life like price in that one scene #I KNOW Y'ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT MAN MAKES ME FULL ON S O B IN THAT PART HE HAD NO BUSINESS #anyway i'll keep cutely living in denial and pretending literally any of the main characters besides price and nikolai are fine <3 #foley and dunn and their team seemed just fine at the end of modern warfare 2 so i will accept that small mercy #at this point these games have taken everything else i love away from me so #y'all probably think i'm wild for how insane i get over these games but the nostalgia bit is a big part of it as well #like they're honestly in my opinion genuinely the greatest video games of all time #but the fact that i have that connection with my dad makes it so special #crazy cause he said he also cried in blood brothers and my dad is 54 and i have seen him cry one (1) other time in my entire life #heck infinity ward but also bless them i hope the devs live long beautiful wonderful prosperous delightful exciting fulfilling lives #Lord bless them and their entire bloodline for the contributions they have made to humanity not even joking #AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FREAKING SOUNDTRACKS DO NOT GO THERE OAUSYDJAKAKDN #MW2 AND MW3 CREDITS. EXTRACTION POINT. COUP DE GRACE. RETREAT AND REVEILLE. CONTINGENCY. PARIS SIEGE. PRAGUE HOSTILITIES. RUSSIAN WARFARE. #UGHHHHHHHGHHHH everything about these games is so unbelievably perfect and immaculate #i have got to get over my art block NOWWWWWWWWWW #makarov is also the best villain i've ever seen idc bro he's frickin awesome #i mean obviously he's horrible and a disgustingly evil human being but as a character he's stupidly well-written

[michi-chelle]

i finished slow damage!

#slow damage #i wasn’t crying what no not at allllllll #ugh what a beautiful most perfect ending i’m so so happy for towa <3 <3 <3 #yo what a great game #i honestly did not expect to like this game so much lmaooo but it’s been a rollercoaster of a ride #especially since it took me over a month to play it but it really took a chokehold over my mind the whole time and i loved it #i can’t believe i read an eroge for the plot lmaooo yo this story was so good wtf #so beautiful and dark and captivating #even if some ‘twists’ were a bit predictable the way they were presented made it all the more interesting #and i was so attached to all the characters even the side characters #i cried a bit during the last exploration segment when we said goodbye to all the characters #and the art and visuals and the music ugh i love this game so much! #never quite got a hold on the interrogation mechanic but eh like i said before i appreciate the concept of it #ugh again i wish i can wipe my memory so i can play this game for the first time again </3 #i hope i can get all the fanart outta my system before the hyperfixation fades away lol #anyway! i’m sad now goodnight #michi yaps

[theythemmer]

for years my friends have tried to get me back into minecraft and idk how to explain to them that after tosoth the game will never be the same . it’s been A DECADE and this fic still rules over my brain

#and don’t even TALK about snow angels around me i’ll cry blood and vomit tears #that fic gave me SO many trust issues i hve TO THIS DAY #and i KNOW ive ranted about this before but IT GENUINELY TRAUMATISED ME #but i was at one of the lowest points of my life and decided fuck it. i’m gonna read a long fic. i’m usually a max 25k person but i was like #nah let’s get invested in this one. good ol erisol human au. what could go wrong #oh dear reader it turns out that there was something that could go wrong #because at tht time i was an avid ff net user and there are no warnings there #especially not for major character death. #so i’m so invested in this fic #got a few chapters left. and then i start a chapter i swear ive read before in a one shot #and i’m over the MOON bc i know how this ends. they get engaged! so i’m SO fkn happy #and then. all alone in the snow of their front yard. eridans heart gives out. and he’s gone. #as a very traumatised teen who was dependant on happy endings to make me feel like life was worth living #i have never felt heartbreak and betrayal like that. only other thing that ever made me feel that much was my really messy breakup w da loml #i didnt sleep for a week. i was constantly sobbing and breaking down at school #reading about sollux going through their minecraft world and i just #yeah. #haven’t been able to make pancakes since too. used to be the thing i was best at #since then pancakes minecraft and snow angels are forever tainted #absolutely INCREDIBLE fic but i do Not do MCD or sad endings #and i was like being horrifically abused going thru hormonal conversion therapy to ‘fix’ my nonexistent sex drive #whilst dealing with r/pe accusations simultaneously . as a fkn 16 year old baby trans gay ace #so i was going thru it and when i tell you my ENTIRE mental state was depending on the dopamine i got from fan fictions w endings that #gave me hope my story wasn’t gonna end there. for them to struggle for so long to find true happiness within eachother #to them being torn apart by the cruel hand of death #bro i was inconsolable for so long . i still am and im almost 26 LMFAO #know it seems so silly to be so worked up over this but i can’t articulate how much my undiagnosed autistic bpd cptsd ridden self depended #on these fics to emotionally regulate #OBV THIS IS NOTHING AGAINST THE AUTHOR OR THE FIC I WAS JUST YOUNG AND TRAUMATISED AND COPING UNHEALTHILY #but i will never be able to play minecraft happily ever again

[emypony]

.

#damn babygirl i wish people checked up on me more #this self conscious catgirl is so tired #sometimes i WISH people just came into my dms to ask me if im ok #i do it constantly to others because i hope theyre not as sad as i am feeling in that moment #genuinely afraid to have made someone feel bad and drive them away from me #and omg i feel nyself running thin again just bc im afraid to lose the interactions we have altogether because i cant process certain media #in a healthy way whatsoever and i get super hung up on thinfs that really dont matter that much in the end #YEAH IM RAMBLING IT'S 5:30 AM AND I COULD BE SLEEPING RIGHT NOW BUT INSTEAD IM JUST CRYING FOR A STUPID REASON!! #i think ive only had one person check up on me based off the vibes in chat i gave off alone in the past couple of months #which was baffling and surreal btw and i think it broke something within me #it came from someone i wouldve never expected to even notice because sometimes it feels like its such a vast difference between us #i sometimes even wonder how are we friends in the first place #like do i even deserve to call this person my friend do they feel like that? or are we just discord acquaintances? #anyway all this just made me sad and my dumb ass is crying and yearning to be loved by my online peers thats all lol. meows pathetically #idk i guess i just.want to hear / see it more rather than just teying to tell myself that over and over hoping im not deluding myself abt i #personal #sorry for the emotions dump idk whats wrong with me tonight actually #me having to come to terms with the reality that i actually have a following and this might get boticed by more than 2 ppl #bc not everyone follows 3k blogs like i am :skull emoji: yknow #im probably gonna delete later because im actually a super self conscious person to the point i get nauseatingly anxious about it holy shit #i dont vent often and im 120% keeping it in but when i do oh boy #the dam bursts and im left like a sopping wet dog on the floor looking like a sad blob #which i am feeling like right now! #vent #emy rambles #ALSO LIKE THIS ISNT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIENDS OMG I AM #k really am #sometimes its still like. idk. unbelievable to me that people are genuinely interacting with me and the things i write or headcanon #and i shouldn't expect them to know whats wrong with me or if i feel bad if i dont say it or communicate that to them #but yknow one can yearn

[celestetheseaunicorn]

I just want to give a shout out to this short film. It definitely has a spot in my heart and inspires me to stay hopeful and find a way to follow my dreams even if it seems unlikely sometimes.

#heartwarming #If anyone does end up watching the short film I would really appreciate if you guys left your thoughts on it in the comments or reblogs :D #short film #hopes and dreams #this is so wholesome #:D 😭 #No spoilers but I really felt like I was going to sad cry and happy cry at different points #the love and care they show towards eachother😭🥰 #There are so many great short films on youtube #even if trying to improve in art and animation can feel really slow and tedious sometimes… #…seeing the amazing short films and animatics people have made on youtube inspires me to keep trying to improve #as well as how kind you guys have been to me and my art…thank you so much :D 😭 #mutuals

[m0e-ru]

one of my most outstanding achievements I like to be aware of is that I am a "adachi tag most used tag" blogger and I haven't drawn edgy villain "I'm sick of the world" art of him once

#kommento #// no bored looking lazy tired expressions nor him posing him in front of a tv #// like I gave him TV trauma already and the best youll see is that ive hit him w a bat and cruelly kicked him around like a stray animal #// hes far from a poor little murderer meow meow ive made him a sad crying sopping wet cat who lost everything after learning to let things #// fill his emptiness which makes him severely regret that and why he doesnt do that in the first place #// I don't say 'posted' because I've gone through archives of all my art and doodles a million times to look for something to eat #// even at the start of my persona phase 2017-present there is NOTHING of me making him look like That #// I don't find it in me to ever draw him like every edgy anime keyart he's in or the general genre of how he's depicted in canon or fandom #// closest thing to source is that I can draw him as a goofball. and at the opposite end of the spectrum is me making him cry like a baby #// there's so much to do with tohruadachi than. uhm. whatever rokurosaito does. im the girl filling a niche THAT IS THE MOEL HONOR ‼️‼️‼️

[yangjeongin]

i swear i love lovestay so much but i will either cry or come close to tears Every time i hear it i have  problems

#carly.txt #2020 and earlier hyunjinators know #first half of 2021 was lowkey so hard #then carlyline w hyunjin at the helm come thru and create the most beautiful song ever #to end off that year #sometimes i randomly remember hyunjin's . fanclub only new years message after the lovestay video #where he said he realized he was loved in every season #and i cry again SDSDGSDGDDDG #bc my concern during his hiatus and scandal and all that was. does he know how loved he is among all the negative comments #does he know how loved he still is even though he made a mistake and he's not perfect #so it came as such a relief to hear him say that bc i was so worried about that that entire year tbh #SO THIS IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT EVERY TIME I HEAR LOVESTAY #like. do y'all understand how lucky and blessed we are that he even came back at all #sometimes i forget he was ever gone and then IT HITS and i'm like wow. i am so grateful u exist and we still get to exist alongside u #i am mean to him to cope w the fact that i love a MAN THAT DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME this much #anyway. i hope he looks back at that time in his life and isn't bitter or sad and instead sees it as something that helped him grow #and i hope that's the darkest part of his career and that he can live successfully and happily #y'all would not BELIEVE how hard i just cried #lovestay is just such a beautiful and soft and gentle song that is so full of love just like the person that made it #it means so much to me and so does he #sorry everyone i'm having an emotional week this is my second night in a row crying over something or other SDFSDGDGDG

[link-lonk]

Don't watch Clannad, you will cry

#radiostatic.txt #I AM SOBBING #there were 2 eps in the first part that made me cry. I found it very cute overall but those eps got to me #clannad after story though.... #the first half was all good. like oh this is so cute they're growing up and starting a family and everything :) #and then ep 16 came and I have not stopped crying since #I was like nooooo they wouldn't do that. they would not do that to me. it's gonna be fine and they'll be happy #and nothing bad will ever happen to these characters ever #and then they did do that and I cried #it's like nooo the sad is over it'll all be good and happy now. and then it wasn't #like it got happier again and I was like oh ok good this is good (while still sobbing) #AND THEN THEY THREW ANOTHER GUT PUNCH AT ME AND I CRIED EVEN HARDER #everything with Ushio had me in tears. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DID THAT TO ME #I am literally full on sobbing over here #I am never going to be normal ever again #it did have a happy ending tho. Everything was fine for real #I really started this show like 'I want to cry about something' and then I was like 'oh this isn't as sad as I thought it would be' #and then it was #I loved this show but also wondering why I wanted to do this to myself #I never cried this much about fictional characters before in my life #clannad #also Fuko is the best character

[chirpsythismorning]

Penholdergate is pretty much bones at this point, but I'm bored so

Now, I'm not saying that cryptic game the ST writers had going on was actually at all related to the pen of possibility from Anne with an E.

Initially, I thought it was weird they put this emphasis on it being a penholder. Like yes, you can put pens in it, and it can be referred to as such, but idk. I've just never heard it actually be called that, especially when it's surrounded by expo markers on a whiteboard? But anyways, whatever.

Could it all be a joke? Yes. Could it be hinting at something we have to look at deeper in order to figure out? Perhaps.

But, because I literally couldn't think of anything, my brain went straight to the pen of possibility and that took me on a whole different trip.

When promoting season 3 of Anne with an E, Amybeth hinted at the pen of possibility playing a significant role, even sneaking the pen emoji in a q&a, which she posted a week before the final episode aired.

Basically this whole penholder fiasco reminded me of AWAE in general, which makes this the perfect opportunity for me to ramble about how it could end up being one of many inspirations for ST5.

Them casting Amybeth and the Duffer's making a point to say they were big fans of AWAE means it's on their radar at the very least.

I’m also fairly certain they've watched it after recently finding out that, the first time Vickie was mentioned in ST4, during the boobies scene with Robin and Steve, the song Object of My Desire plays.

I kid you not, when Amybeth was announced for the role, I made a playlist of songs I hoped could potentially play during a Vickie scene (because they were released on or close to 1986). And Object of My Desire was one song in particular that I thought would be a cool easter egg/homage to AWAE, since the title matches fairly on point with Gilbert's letter to Anne in the last episode of the series.

If you haven't watched AWAE, I highly recommend it. It's surprisingly very queer and just beautiful all around. There's a lot of care put into all the storylines, both romantic, platonic and familial. I can see why the Duffer's would be fans because AWAE very much follows similar rules of storytelling as ST.

If you also aren't aware, the show is based on Anne of Green Gables, which is a book from 1908. It ended up being an 8 part book series, spanning decades from Anne's childhood to her adulthood, and with a lot of adaptations made based on it over the next century. One TV mini-series from 1985 in particular is especially beloved.

The original book from 1908 has also been referenced in ST itself, with Hopper having read it to both his daughter and then El later on.

And so it wasn't much of a surprise that the creator of AWAE wanted to do something different than the dozens of versions before it, by going more in depth into what was truly going on back then, but most likely wasn't explored fully for that very reason. And even despite all the backlash from Anne purists saying they ruined the story with woke-ness, the writers didn't give a fuck (sound familiar?).

Also, I want to say that a popular headcanon for Anne is that she was queer, as the writing of her does feel very much like she loved Diana in a way that wasn't acceptable back then (she talks about dreading the day Diana goes off and gets married, like she has literal nightmares about it...). With the books being written in the 1900's, and written by a woman, it wasn't an option to even tell a story from that perspective, without it being at most subtextual.

So honestly, if Anne and Gilbert hadn't been so perfectly written in AWAE, I may very well have shipped Anne and Diana more, similar to how I did with the books and a few of the other adaptations. But alas, the straights won this round.

Personally, I felt this version was building up Diana and Ruby, if anything. The way Ruby's crush on Gilbert was kind of a running joke throughout the series, only for her to drop him completely at a moments notice after developing a sudden crush on Moody? Idk, very comp-het of her. And Diana is like Mike Wheeler only 10x worse. Her entire arc was focused on her need to be normal: her disgust when finding out her aunt was a lesbian in s2 (ITS NOT NATURAL), only to start a fling with Jerry in s3, whom she kissed in private, but basically hurt in the end, when he realized she didn't like him beyond the kissing part. She also had a lot of resentment for the future her parents planned for her, which was finishing school and then marriage.

But honestly, the framing for them alone was just, interesting:

Still, even though I would argue Diana and Ruby were queer-coded, I don't think it was guaranteed to pan out as endgame in the end. Especially seeing as Ruby died in the books. So maybe the show getting cancelled was for the best...

Now, Cole on the other hand, was very much gay in canon.

Within the span of one season (s2), they introduced Cole, somehow managed to make it very clear he was gay, without saying it outright, and in a way that felt natural despite the time period that the show was set in (AWAE also had a lot of emphasis on the words weird/different = gay/freak). Although he went through hardships, Cole did get a happy resolution to his storyline at the end of the season, and I think that's what makes AWAE (and hopefully ST) so special.

Not only did we get a glimpse into Cole's perspective as a gay kid growing up in the late 1800's, we also got a more unfortunate perspective, their teacher, Mr. Phillips. Mr. Phillips experienced dangerously toxic levels of internalized homophobia, going as far as to take it out on Cole, essentially punishing a younger version of himself through projection. Whenever he caught Cole doing something perceived as feminine or out of the norm for men in those times, he would make a spectacle out of it and humiliate him.

He had also just jumped into a relationship with Prissy, the eldest girl in the class (ewwww). Although it seemed like he was interested in her romantically when things were still fairly casual, it's in moments of privacy you can see there is an internal struggle going on there. And as he and Prissy get more serious, talking about marriage, these confrontations with Cole are happening simultaneously with Mr. Phillips getting more and more dejected from reality and his impending heteronormative fate.

Although it wasn't clear to Prissy why he didn't love her the way she deserved to be loved, the audience knew it was because he was gay. Fortunately for her, instead of marrying him and being miserable for the rest of her life, Prissy ran out of the wedding, which lead to arguably some of the most beautiful shots in the entire show.

I can't end this mini gay AWAE analysis though without mentioning the beauty that is Gertie and Joe. It was revealed at the end of s1 that Diana's aunt, Josephine Barry, was lesbian, still mourning her love Gertrude, who had just died a year or so prior. But honestly, I'm going to stop there. That's all I'm gonna say because if I talk about them I'll get too emotional (THEY WERE ROOMMATES!).

Now, Anne and Gilbert. Like I said, if they weren't written and framed to very clearly be endgame all along, maybe I wouldn't have been so on board. But they were, and so here we are. (s/out to antis who are convinced all bylers only ship Mike and Will bc they're 2 boys. Newsflash, people ship byler bc of how they were written/framed to be endgame, just like Anne and Gilbert here. If it weren't for these sorbet bitches, I wouldn't have started shipping Byler in the first place. So, you can blame the straights for this one!.)

For those that haven't read the original books, Anne and Gilbert get together midway through the overall series, with the last couple novels even being from the perspective of their children (they had 7 total).

Now when I say endgame framing, I mean endgame framing.

Although back then, couples did get married fairly young, AWAE was based on the events of Anne's life at a really young age, spanning from 13-16, so marriage was just not in the cards for this adaptation.

Because of this, they used cinematography, specifically the framing of Anne and Gilbert, to hint that they would end up together, ie. them standing before a threshold in the finale of every season:

There's even a shot of them standing in front of the tunnel of love, where you can see a couple that resembles a future version of them walking in the background, foreshadowing the inevitable.

There's a lot of shots like this, and while neither of them are reserved to being exclusively on one side of the frame at all times (besides the threshold shots), it's clear the framing of them in general was intended to capture a chemistry building up over the years, which would eventually lead to a payoff, making all these little moments even more special once you can finally look at the story as a whole (remind you of anyone?).

For those who haven't seen AWAE or just want a refresher for the sake of this analysis, here goes:

During the first season, Anne and Gilbert more so embody the academic rivals to lovers trope. It isn't until the end of that season, after budding heads with Gilbert, that Anne realizes she has feelings for him. Unfortunately, it was too late, as he had apparently left town and probably wouldn't return ever again. Or so she thought.

She runs into him before he leaves, gets all overwhelmed, happy to see him (to his surprise) and they end up chatting over tea. They apologize to each other, argue over who should be apologizing, listen to each other's feelings and concerns, have their classic 'anyway' 'anyway' moment, and end it with a staring contest/their breaths catching, aka endgame coded behavior (remind you of anyone...)

In the first half of the second season, they stay in contact via letters. What I find funny is the way Bash teases Gilbert about the letters to Anne being romantic, all while Gilbert insists that she is just a friend. And at the same time Anne is rambling (unprompted) to Marilla that the letters between her and Gilbert are not romantic WHATSOEVER!

Then, in the second half of s2 they reunite and Gilbert basically implies that he came back to Avonlea bc of her. They start traditions together (Christmas episode my beloved), and even stand alongside each other fighting for what's right (getting Ms. Stacy her job back after being unjustly fired) and it's all just very wholesome (with a mix of academic rivals conflict). The season ends with Bash and Mary's wedding, the last shot being Anne and Gilbert standing in the threshold of the church entrance, talking about the future, with Gilbert repeating back something he overheard Anne say in a rant just a few episodes prior:

Gilbert: Tragical romance and all?

Anne: Remains to be seen.

Essentially, they foreshadow their own fate (REMIND YOU OF ANYONE?)

What follows is the third and final season, which means endgame was fast-tracked and so what we got was peak mutual pining/misunderstanding/jealousy tropes, ending with the classic letters tragically unreceived until the very last second trope.

Initially, at the start of s3, Anne pushes Gilbert towards Ruby, by confronting him about the take notice board in a conversation that leaves both of them slightly hurt and confused. Because according to Ruby, while Anne talked to him about her, his eyes were full of romance. Only Gilbert wasn't smiling because of Ruby, he was smiling because he thought Anne was talking about herself and their future, about the two of them taking notice of each other. The moment Anne says Ruby's name, Gilbert's face falls, no longer interested (*cough* van scene *cough*)

In the following episode, Anne pushes Gilbert away even more, insisting she doesn't need him, but it was only because she was frustrated that she needed a man accompanying her in order to travel. But Gilbert took this as her not needing him at all, and was pretty much just defeated at this point. He'd hoped they could use this opportunity traveling together privately to get closer, but now he's starting to think maybe Anne truly doesn't feel the same. And so he decides to give her the cold shoulder, and proceeds to attempt his 'moving on from my true love' era. He then meets Winifred Rose only a couple scenes later, who he begins courting soon after. They even go out to tea a couple of times...

Mary's sickness and passing is something both Anne and Gilbert struggle with, as they have come to associate each others families as their own. So despite the recent tension between them, they quickly go back into a flow of mutual understanding.

When Gilbert gets upset upon realizing, that if he continues with his passion of becoming a doctor, he'll have to deal with people dying and not being able to save everyone, Anne quickly comforts/encourages him for being the kind of doctor people would want to bring their loved ones to, because he cares so much (Caring deeply will always be the right thing). You can see this means a lot to Gilbert. Then when rehearsing the dance for the carnival, Gilbert messes up the formation of the dance to get closer to Anne, where they enter their own little world. Time slows; it's electric. We then see both of them flustered over what they're feeling afterwards.

The rest of the season is filled with misunderstandings, but also moments that parallel to previous seasons, where they work together to stand up for what's right (Who knew, we'd make such a good, T-E-A-M) and all of these feelings basically build up, making both of them wonder if maybe the other could actually feel the same way.

So, when Gilbert is offered the perfect future, the Sorbonne in Paris (his dream school) completely paid in full by Winifred's father if he agrees to propose to her, his first instinct is to track down Anne to ask her what she thinks. When he finds her, she's drunk at the ruins with all their classmates, celebrating finishing the queens entrance exam. But she's confused and quite frankly speechless over the fact that Gilbert felt the need to get her input at all. The choice seemed obvious to her. And that's when we have this long awaited moment happen, where it's basically confirmed Gilbert does indeed return Anne's feelings, that she's literally the one thing holding him back. Unfortunately, Gilbert interprets Anne's hesitation and confusion as rejection. And Anne also sort of interprets this as making him choose between her and his dreams which, she obviously doesn't want to get in the way of.

But it doesn't matter. Because Gilbert still can't go through with marrying Winifred. He spends the whole day before confronting her, visiting places all over the Island, specifically places that remind him of home (Anne). He even goes to the destroyed Avonlea Story Club (*cough* Castle Byers *cough*) and takes one of the sea shells there from Anne's abandoned collection and brings it with him. We then see him looking conflicted between the ring he's supposed to propose to Winifred with, and the sea shell that symbolizes his love for Anne.

It isn't until the opening scene of the series finale that we see Gilbert calling off his impending engagement to Winifred. (I care about you very much / But not as much as for a certain someone?)

Just before this, in the second to last episode, Anne wrote a letter to Gilbert revealing her true feelings, because their talk at the ruins made her start to believe he could feel the same. But the letter (tragically) never gets to Gilbert.

In a last ditch effort before leaving forever potentially (again), Gilbert also leaves Anne a letter revealing his true feelings, which Anne also never receives (even more tragically if you can believe that).

And all this miscommunication comes to a head at the very end, when Winifred reveals the truth to Anne, and Diana reveals the truth to Gilbert. What follows is them both running to find each other, where they kiss, only to once again go their separate ways, pursuing their dreams, with Anne going to school in Charlottetown to eventually be a teacher/writer, and Gilbert to Toronto to study medicine. They make plans to write each other. (I have follow up questions! / So do I!).

Even though the show ended there, because of the books and all the hints the show left along the way, we know that they end up together.

So, as you can see, the pen lived up to its name as the pen of possibility. I also think the comment Anne made early on, about how Gilbert doesn't have a way with words, was meant to ironically hint at the fact that he very much does have a way with words, and that Anne, and we the audience, would find out soon enough.

But like I said, it's entirely unlikely that the ST writers were hinting at the pen of possibility, like SOO unlikely it's unreal. That wasn't even my main point making this. There just honestly hasn't been much to go off with this whole penholdergate thing, and the tag is so dead anyways, so i figured, why not? And I really just needed an excuse to bring up how similar the style of these shows are when it comes to narrative choices, especially the set up for shirbert and byler, because like I said, full serious, I never would have put so much consideration into Byler if it wasn't for how endgame coded they were, just like Shirbert.

Specifically the way Mike looks at Will, it just feels very, very similar to the way Gilbert looks at Anne.

Nevertheless, I still think this adds an interesting layer of possibility to the whole lettergate/pocketgate theory for ST5. After all, we know Will is good at painting, and it's his love language, which is why he gifted Mike a painting in the first place. In contrast, we're given these implications that writing is Mike's love language. He also attributes it to romantic feelings, which is why he feels he has an obligation to reserve letter writing to El, his girlfriend. But because it is his love language, there's an element of truthfulness that he can't fully submit to. He couldn't 'in good conscious' go through with it fully, by ending his letters to El with, "love Mike", as it would have contradicted the whole truth of this being Mike's love language.

I feel like the only way for them to properly resolve this whole storyline, is to let us see a letter from Mike. Perhaps a letter ending with, 'love--?. Perhaps a letter addressed to Will?. (Just as long as he doesn't rip it up before he even reads it or step on it and lose it outside, crumpled in the dirt, never to be found. Iykyk. Those were tragic times in Anne nation.)

As you can probably tell by now, there's a shit ton of things the ST writers could pull from AWAE for inspiration, but we won't know if they have done so officially unless it ends up being listed on the updated whiteboard for ST5. If it isn't, then we can rule it out and move on. But if it is (genuinely possible), then I wouldn't be surprised to see some of these elements above paralleled, either with literal parallels or just narratively in a broad sense when it comes to certain characters dynamics and their inevitable fate...

#stranger things #anne with an e #stranger things 5 #byler #i just wanna hear mike reading off his own words... #the power that has #like why build up him not being able to write love mike... if were not going to eventually be able to see him do it in the end? #like he was saving it for someone special obviously #so where is the payoff #to be continued in st5 i guess #I could see the whole lettergate/pocketgate thing playing out early s5 tbh though #i think it's something thats too closely tied to s4 for them to wait until the very end of s5 to circle back to #but we'll have to wait and see i guess #gertie and jo #now im sad #awae had me crying so much over platonic love... not just romantic love too. like thats what made it soooo good #and so #i do have hope that st will be able to accomplish a lot even beyond the endgame ships #i'm also very hopeful that el's arc will be satisfying bc of this as well #she'll have her prissy moment and we'll all be cheering #i can't wait #byler theory #penholdergate #gridgate #lettergate #pocketgate #st5 headcanon #st5 movie/film inspo #anne with an e parallels