#the gender envy i get from him is a little outrageous

[oriigirii]

💞 MC is a Genshin Simp 💞

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{ AN: Omg! This is my first ask so thank you anon (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)/!! This is such a vibe too haha, I hope you like it! } Warnings: None [Maybe Refs and Chars you wont get if you dont play Genshin Impact] * Probably a bit OOC too *

Reader: Gender-Neutral [Default]

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)

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< Genshin Impact was a game that took the human realm by storm, with its open-world gameplay, its competitive PvE and aesthatic settings, it was truly something that captured you the moment the beta was announced. Although, as with any Gacha games, you weren’t only attracted to the world and its setting.

No no.

The characters were truly the main eye candy of the game. You’d been worried that when you had been sucked into Devildom, you wouldn’t be able to access the game due to, yknow, realm differences, but luckily that wasn’t the case thanks to Levi, and hence why the moment it dropped, you had been spending your life savings simping for characters on every banner.

Yknow theres handsome bois in devildom too... Theyre just kinda waiting for you to put your game down for a moment and kinda notice em ～((Φ◇Φ)‡ >

------

ฅ⁽͑ ˚̀ ˙̭ ˚́ ⁾̉ฅ Lucifer

He usually doesn’t mind you playing games

Although, He would’ve preferred if you didn’t cause you kinda need to focus on your studies yknow?

But hey he’s not stopping you

Usually you would stay with him as he works, but he can’t seem to focus with you constantly begging beside him

Small little ‘please’ would be heard every now and then, and a sudden look of disappointment would show on your face.

He tried to ignore it, even giving little cues for you to quiet down, like clearing his throat

You didnt seem to pick up the hint though

He was just about to ask you what you were doing in the first place that has you praying beside him (which is hella rude) but your scream of happiness has him a little more irked and kinda taken back

“LUCIFER! I GOT HIM! LOOK LOOK I GOT HIM!”

You show him the screen showing your pull results

The character held a giant claymore with bright red hair

Before he can get another word in, you snatch your phone back and just sigh as if youd just had a heavenly (ironic) experience and mumble

“I seriously love him, Im so happy...”

Bro same though, Diluc pls come home

You were truly one of a kind, because youve just managed to break the Avatar of Pride’s... well.... Pride.

Did he just get cucked by a man in a video game?

Truly outrageous.

He seems to scoff and holds back a bit of an eye roll as he tries to focus back on his work

But boy oh boy, his salt is high

“If you are going to be causing a ruckus MC, May i suggest you doing it with Levi instead, I have no time for such games. I dont see why youre so caught up in such a character anyways, he looks quite basic.”

His words were sharp, and that was enough to shake you out of your fangirl/boy mode.

You were literally ready to fight the first born, a literal fucking fallen angel, for dissing Diluc like that

like

how dare

But then you notice how he seems to avoid your gaze and a small little red tint was on the tip of his ears.

Lucifer wouldve wanted to see you that happy with him, but no, a game character steals that spotlight.

Angey.

Instead of being intimidated by the sudden coldness, you giggle and finally close your phone and set it aside

You can continue celebrating and bragging about it later, for now, you wrap your arms around his arm and give him a small smooch on the cheek, which definitely makes him blush a tad bit

“Awww Luci dont be like that, Yknow I love you more”

Potential apocalypse has been diverted

But Lucifer does smile the smallest of smiles as he sighs, finding it silly to really get jealous over such a small thing and says

“I love you too, my dear... but you do have to make up for distracting me from my work...”

Well you kinda deserve it, so it wasnt long before both his work and your phone had been ditched

( After a while you do kinda see him quite similar to Diluc and it just makes you smile everytime you think about it, seems you have a thing for the strict cold men huh?)

===

Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) Mammon

Why you simping for a fictional character when you already have him?!

He’s your first man!

Your homie!

“Yeah well hes my first 5* so can you blame me?”

S A D N E S S

But for real, this man is just so clingy

He has heard from Levi that you were playing a new game from the human world, and of course, he had wanted to see what it was about by watching you play.

But since it was quite grind-heavy gacha game, he grew a bit bored and asked you to come with him to hang out somewhere else, or even go to the casino and gamble his money away cause he just got goldie back

But no matter what he suggests, you were just so focused on your grinding.

He’d prefer a different kinda grinding right about now with how lonely he is, ya feel me?

But no, you still werent interested.

“Oi! Cmon MC, whats even so important about this?”

“I already told you Mammon, Im grinding for primogems from the event! Theyre gonna be gone soon and I just HAVE to get them! Ugh I swear to Diavolo, if I dont, Imma cry! I didnt get him on their first banner too... ugh!”

Wait no--

Cmon he doesnt want you to cry!

Mammon kinda stays silent for a bit as he watches you struggle to fight the monsters with your low level team, frustration growing on your face.

But as you finish, Mammon seems to snatch your phone

“Hey! whats the big deal Mammon?!”

“Shut up and show me where the store is geez”

Mammon’s demands kinda surprises you and you raise an eyebrow at him, but you do show where it was, and sit back for a while as Mammon just fiddles around with it. You werent sure what he was doing honestly, was he interested? Did you say anything that made him act this way? All you talked about the game was the gacha system so--

oh…

OH

“Mammon! Wait you dont have to---”

“There! I got you as much primo things, or whatever theyre called”

He already has tossed you your phone back and he crossed his arms, looking away as the red blush covers most of his cheeks.

You look at your phone and you honestly felt your heart speed up and stop at the same time at the amount of primos on your account, it was enough for a full 180 pull! If you dont get the limited character on the first 50-50, you have another shot!

You felt your own heart speed up and your face burn so hard, but you do mumble him a quick “But... But why though?”

“Cuz! If you start cryin’ Lucifer’s gonna beat my ass! Dont think I did it for you, you human! I just dont want him taking away Goldie again!”

“But I thought this was your gambling money, isnt it?”

“w-well!... I mean... Hmph.. Gachas kinda like gambling right?, I know Lucifers gonna hang me if he catches me in the casino again anyways, so I thought I might as well just do this... with you...or whatever...” Hes dying, help

But so are you!

Hes too fucking cute and you just glomp him and just hug him as tight as you can!!

Flusterred boi 100

But you do spend you afternoon on his lap, both of you rolling the full 180 in excitement, whether you get that boi/gal you simped for on the banner or not, you still were happy to spend some time with Mammon

He doesnt mind losing a bit of cash for you

but you do promise to pay him back (maybe with a few kissy)

But to be honest, Gacha probably will help him with his gambling addiction...

kinda...

He doesnt go to casinos anymore but he does whale with you now

Lucifer has such a mix feeling with these results.

But he still confiscates Goldie and your card on the end, yall need to chill.

====

ヽ(。_°)ノ Leviathan

He probably wasn’t even interested on the game at first

He already has enough games to play, and it just looks like another rip off of some other game he saw not too long ago with that elf looking guy

But when you came to him asking for his help to get the game, you bet your ass that he felt a switch click

Suddenly it was incredibly interesting!

You do share your interests to him almost immediately

By interests, of course i mean the peeps you simp for

The sexy ara ara in the library of mondstat, the pirate looking ass of the guards, the pirate looking ass’s brother thats a wine owner and still highkey reminds you of Lucifer, the demon slayer--- You were actually unsure if you should talk about Xiao but hey hes cool

You explain it all!

From their lore to their voice lines and whatever

But honestly what do you expect from the Avatar of Envy?

Of course hes gonna be a bit jealous! He cant compare to any of these characters! Hes not as witty as that eye patch man, hes not as sophisticated as that red head, hes not as flirty as that ara ara either!

As you go on, you notice that Levi was kinda... half listening....

It made you pout, but then, it made you worried

Uh-oh you know that look

its that, ‘im overthinking’ look

So to snap him out of it, you kinda grab his face as gently as you can

“Need Grimm for your thoughts?”

He flushes and he immediately looks away, but you usher him to look at you as you coo and ask him whats wrong

It takes a bit till he kinda explains to you how hes feeling

In your relationship, you both were practicing being more open with each other, hence why you were proud of Levi for saying it

but you did feel kinda sad and frowned as he finishes explaining

“You... feel jealous?”

“Ugh d-dont say it out loud normie....”

He covers his face with his arm and you just cant help but shake your head with a fond smile, but you do need to address this and comfort him.

“Levi... when you fanboy about Ruri chan, did you ever think she was better than me?”

Your question made him frown and look at you in absolute worry

Did you actually think that you were below Ruri chan?

Of course hes an absolute simp for Ruri but.. cmon

Now that he thinks about it, he does talk about her a lot doesnt he? oh no...

“MC O-Of course not! I love Ruri chan yes, but you... I... I Love... you more...” Levi exe do be dying

But you smile at his response and gently kisses his cheek

“I think thats sweet Levi... But thats how I am too... Youre still better than any of these characters, youre real and they arent, youre mine and I am yours~ Youre my personal 5 star!” You wink at him and Levi just dips

his heart couldnt handle the cuteness and he died, ladies and gentlemen

but for real he did pass out

Must be from all the blood on his head from the blush

But ah, he does get it, and after being showered with love from you, He kinda slowly got over his jealousy

its not immediate but with simple reassurances, you can manage to reel him in and have fun with you

He does end up enjoying the game cause he gets to spend time with you, and he gets to show off when events happen 

He also goes out of his way to memorize locations for materials for you, and when youre sick or busy, he pilots your account

true gamer

But ironically enough hed probably start simping for a character too and of course, you both start bonding over that, which just makes Levi absolutely happy

I wonder if hed simp for Barbara, she is an idol afterall like Ruri chan

Probably lowkey for now

Afterall she looks like a minor so-----

( I dunno i searched shes 16-18 lol )

But regardless, I can imagine you both just cosplaying each others fav characters too

Its a wack looking ship cosplay but yall just simp for each other cause of it, its pretty fun but the rest of the brothers just finds it hella weird

----

I only have energy for these 3 as always, Im sorry! But i promise Ill do the rest!! I hope you guys do enjoy, and Id love some feedback on the characters personalities cause I know they can be a bit Ooc, But feel free to send me an ask! Im pretty open lol 〜(￣△￣〜)

#Obey me #Obey me x reader #Obey me x mc #Obey me shall we date #obey me Mammon x reader #Obey me Lucifer x reader #Obey me Leviathan x reader #Obey me fanfic #Obey me HCs #anon request

[fruityoosung]

alter ego

pairing : wonwoo x reader

rating : fluff-ish???? lowkey promiscuos

trigger warning : tattoos, substance usage, wonwoo being hot

“choi y/n you’re with jeon wonwoo” the monotonous deliverance from the TA stemmed a sigh that left your lips subconsciously. you turned your head to the right and a steely, dark and unwavering pair of brown eyes met yours. jeon wonwoo, the quiet, dismissive but very intelligent classmate of yours stared into you for a couple seconds before turning back towards his own assignment on his laptop. you merely nod your head to nothing before the TA dismissed the class, causing the flock of students in the history lecture flee from the lecture hall with grace, ready to end their day or attend their next class. some students hung behind to discuss the matters of the assignment with their designated partners and you decided to do the same.

you took your own sweet time packing your laptop into your backpack before a tall, looming figure casts a shadows upon you. you finally had a clear look of him whilst before your eyesight were betraying you. he’s the typical, lowkey stand off, quiet but very attractive young man, a character you often stumble upon at some point of your life. most times, it was more annoying than attractive to you because people like him are very contemptuous and outrageously pompous. you shot up from your seat and stood in front of him, waiting for him to talk to you first since you didn’t want to leave a bad impression towards your project partner.

“we can work on the project at the uni’s library. is tomorrow afternoon okay for you?” he asked, you didn’t realise how deep his voice actually goes. with the thin-rimmed glasses resting upon the bridge of his nose and the cashmere knitted, cream coloured sweater he was wearing, his voice was very uncanny to hear.

“tomorrow afternoon is fine, i’ll e-mail you the materials and we can work from there.” you replied, it was uncomfortable to you while he stood inches away from you and actively studying your face. he nodded and gripped the strap of his backpack before walking away. you did not know how to feel, you cannot deny his attractiveness and the stroke of heat that travels through your body as he stood close towards you.

this should be fun right?

you waited at the table near the windows with your laptop opened in front of you. you’re currently sorting through the materials and crafting a rough draft of your part of the assignment. wonwoo wasn’t late, you were just very early since the professor of your last class couldn’t make it to the lecture. you didn’t realise the time has passed as you typed through your rough draft until the sound of the wooden chair striking against the floor broke you out of your flow of thoughts. you immediately looked up and saw him sitting down directly across from you. being the somewhat inviting person you are, you decided to acknowledge his presence.

“hi, did you have class prior to this?” you asked, fingers resuming to type last few lines of your last rough draft. ever since the TA assigned the project to the both of you, you’ve never spoken to him verbally other than a few

e-mails regarding the materials and the submission of his rough draft for you to proof read and check. you were astounded to receive that e-mail since it was barely a couple hours since the TA had assigned it. of course, being one of the smartest kids in your class, his rough draft was nearly perfect and you only had to tweak a couple words to fit the theme better.

“i had a business management class.” he replied, his fingers began rapidly typing on the keyboard and it grew silent from there. it was almost distracting.

what’s more distracting is his goddamn features. you discreetly studies him as you finish typing the draft. the way the blue light from the screen reflected onto the lenses of his glasses made his eyes appear glittering almost had your heart lurching. the way he chews on his lips and furrowed his eyebrows as he reread the paragraph he wrote made you notice the warmth spreading on your face.

what the fuck? you swore. you’ll never have a chance with him, for all you know he probably hates your ass.

you shook off your thoughts and opened the google docs app and began typing the actual essay for the assignment. the lines above yours kept increasing and you tried your best to keep up.

what you didn’t notice was the sly smirk and the dark pair of brown eyes travelling towards your face, revelling at the sight in front of him.

he can get use to this

you were deep in your work before his alarm rang. thankfully, no one else was in the library since it was growing late into the evening. you looked up and meet his eyes again. wow, does he have really nice eyes.

“i need to go. i’ll make sure to send in the docs to you latest by tomorrow” he said before frantically packing up. you were dumbfounded. he’s probably late for something but you didn’t bother to ask since it is none of your business.

“it’s alright, this project isn’t due for another three days. you can take your time.” you replied softly, not wanting to stress him out.

“thank you y/n. i’ll see you soon.” he said in his deep tone that made your stomach do a flip. for some reason, you think your name sounds perfect coming from his lips.

since it is getting dark, you probably should leave the building before it gets too late.

you were in a state of boredom. your part of the project has already been done hours after you reached your apartment. to your surprise, the apartment was empty. maybe your roommate decide to stay the night at their boyfriend’s apartment. soon, the boredom slowly became unbearable so you decided to hit up the club for any sort of civilisation.

a seductive, red lip gloss dressed your lips as your fix the earrings dangling from your ears. the all black ensemble you were wearing definitely gave you a sense of high charisma and made you ooze confidence, perfect for a night out and warding off weird men. the heels you were wearing added an extra two inch to your strut. even though it’s probably going to be hell for you to walk in, you sure do look really good.

you took a cab to your favourite underground club, ready to take on the night.

the flashing led lights grabbed your attention as soon as you stepped into the dark nightclub. the atmosphere of drunk people in their early or mid 20’s dancing and having fun is never foreign to you. the bass boosted underground rap song pierce through your eardrums and made you heart thump along with every bass kick. you felt a surge of energy flowing through your veins so you wastes no time and walked towards the bar, before ordering your drink of choice for the night, completely ready to get wasted.

you are now on your fourth shot of vodka and dancing your way in the middle of the club. you’re a pretty sensible person off alcohol but when a substance is coursing through your blood, you tend to get a little too wild. the light changed and another song arrived through the speakers. you decided to leave the dance floor and return back to the bar to get another shot of whatever the hell you wishes

now i’m on my way to whatever’s waitin'

뭐가됐든 go straight (go straight)

fuck what they’d be talkin' 'bout

(fuck they talkin' 'bout)

their opinion doesn’t count like ooh

a loud scream can be heard on the dance floor, everyone began to vibe to the new heavy hitting bass playing through the very big speaker. a younger looking boy with bleached blonde hair appear with three other men on the stage

로또 터뜨린지도 어느덧

두달이 됐지 (yup)

나름 높아져, 벌농 인지도

man, 그 누가 알았겠니 (you get me?)

불가능해 보이던 모든건

수영이나 갔다오라해

wait, enough with vernon

원우형 here’s the torch

이제 가서 소각해요 man

even in your drunk state you couldn’t miss the rhythm of his name on stage since you have been thinking about him ever since the project was assigned. the craved, intricately carved, glass of bourbon wrapped safely around your fingers before you began sipping on it slowly. the sight you see next was nothing that you could’ve ever expected.

the red spotlight shined through the familiar figure, though he’s dressed so differently from when you saw him last.

uh 주위에선 그래 가능성 로또래

내가 노력만 한다면

대박 쯤은 그냥 터트릴거래

별의 별 놈들은 나에게 한마디씩 던지지

내가 볼 땐 넌 백날 해도 안돼

난 답하지 난 아직 어린이

발전 가능성이 높은 나에 비해 전혀 없어 넌

옛말에 똥은 더러워 피해

째려도 전혀 안 무서워

비교하면 난 박잘타는 흥부 너도 따라해도

넌 박치에 가깝지 내가 볼땐 니행동을보면 전혀 노력 금물 uh

너는 옥타곤 지옥에서 기어

난 바쁘니까 엄마가 보면 놀래 가사노동

할땐 주부들만치니까

나도 놀랬지 가끔 너 보면 빡치니까

넌 을이 없게도 그리해놓고 어디서 여기서 갑질이야

the familiar deep and heart rumbling tone of his voice pierced through the speakers and into your auditory senses. you focused your eyes towards the stage and there you see him, the man of the hour, hyping the crowd up like it’s nobody’s business but his. what surprises you his outlook, he appears more confident, more fierce, more arrogant and a bad news to literally anyone regardless of gender and preferences. he ditched the usually

thin-rimmed glasses and left the piercing cold and sharp eyes out on display. a black tight fitting tank top fit snug against his broad shoulder and chest. the purple, satin outerwear that’s slowly falling of his shoulders reveal biceps that could be envied by a lot of people and the huge written tattoos splayed on his neck and collarbones are the most unexpected part of him.

the smart and witty lyrics flows out of his lips perfectly against the rhythm of the overdriven instrumental. his motions in sync with the beat of the music made it seems like he has been doing this since forever, he wasn’t foreign to anything. that is not the jeon wonwoo you knew. the jeon wonwoo you knew was a quiet, smart and dismissive, not the one that oozes confidence and charisma like it is a switch to be turned on and off. you could not believe your sight. your heart thumped loudly against your chest with the music. the drink in your hand is slowly disappearing from the cup and into your mouth. you turned towards the bartender and asked for a refill, the torch has been passed from wonwoo to another member of his underground rap team and all you want to do is accept this as a dream and resume your night.

the song finally ended and the crowd went batshit crazy. you were still leaning against the bar looking at the stage still reeling in at the fact that the person with the rap team is your fucking history project partner.

wonwoo shared handshakes with his member before making his way towards the bar, ready to end the night with some good ol’ alcohol before another day began tomorrow. to his surprise. he saw a familiar figure leaning against the bar, drink in hand and cheeks flushed red. oops, his cheeky little secret have been exposed by none other than the person he has taken admiration to. the surge of confidence he got really made him a completely different person.

you mentally prepare yourself as you saw him walking straight towards you. you fixed your posture to appear taller and more confident even though you’re still inches shorter than his six foot height. you almost curse at the sight of him with that smirk playing on his lips. he walked past you and motioned for the bartender.

“i’ll have what she’s having.” he pointed at you, eyes lingered towards your figure for a couple seconds which made you almost cower at the sheer intenseness of the stare.

“so what brings you here. i didn’t realise this is your type of gig.” the question hung from his lips

once his drink is safe in his grip, you muster up the courage to finally speak to the new personality you just discovered.

“i think that question is way more suited towards you no?” you replied, a hint of mischievousness apparent in your tone.

the bronze liquid flowed from the cup and down his throat.

“oh darling, you may find me full of surprises.”

a/n : the edit was made by v follow her @/lovetagon

#svtxreader #seventeensmut #seventeenxreader #wonwooxreader #seventeen #svt #17 #wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo smut

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I have a ton of insomnia writing in the drafts, so time to start unloading some of it. The usual “as is” rules apply, and I’ll try to keep most of it under the cut,

It just occured to me that I actually have one piece of good advice to give:

If you challenge someone to a duel, ALWAYS have a witness for the fight!

I learned this the hard way when I was a little girl. But to understand why I felt the need to even duel someone, you need to understand the background.

When I was a little girl my family lived in our house in town, which meant until I was 9 I was running around with a gang of kids. I say “kids”, but I pretty much mean boys. There were a couple of years during that time when a girl was inthe neighborhood, one being one of the best friends I had in my life and the other....not, but almost the entire time I was the only girl in the neighborhood.

Now some folks think being the only girl would be terrible, but in a lot of ways it was fine. Kids are kids, rampaging around the neighborhood, and thanks to my family I never felt things should be “girl stuff” and “boy stuff”. I just played.

 In fact, at times being the only girl even gave me a curious power position. I knew “girl things” they didn’t. I can still remember the shock on the face of one of the boys when I tried to explain that I didn’t just piss outside like them because of anatomical differences. He just assumed girls had dicks too. 

BTW, groups of very little boys can get awfully competitive about their dicks. Not that they called them that. They honest to god called them “ding-a-lings”! LOL  In fact, a few times they even had a contest where they would line up with their pants dropped wanting me (the only one that was exempt)  to decide which looked “best”. Remember, at the time we were very little kids, so the concept of “best” was exceptionally vague.** I hope I didn’t give any of those boys a lifelong complex because of something I said in all innocence! But geez, they were obsessed with the idea that whatever hung between their legs was very, very important.

Anyway, running around playing being a girl among boys wasn’t bad all the time. Heck, while the boys could fight over who got to play Han and Luke when we played “Star Wars” or Mark and Jason when we played “Battle of the Planets”, I always knew I wouldn’t have to compete for my part in the games. Though I’m still a little irked to the way their only solution to Gargantuas in War of the Gargantuas being both male was I’d play “the green Gargantua’s wife, at least we always found a way even if what we were playing didn’t have a token girl.

All that being said, there were real disadvantages too, especially as the bots came to learn the rules around gender. I was a girl. They knew it and at times they would think it meant I was supposed to defer to them. This led to many a fight and tears.

For instance, once one of the boys got a BB gun. 

Naturally we all wanted to take turns using it in a makeshift backyard shooting gallery. Trouble was, as far as they were concerned girls weren’t supposed to shoot. Now considering all the toy cap guns they borrowed from me when we played, and the gun I had that shot cork balls had been the envy of all the kids*** until this BB gun, it seems crazy they would think girls weren’t allowed “real” guns. I begged a turn, outshot them all, and never was allowed to touch the gun again. ****Having a girl be the best shot kinda stung for them! LOL

The boys would do this now and then, throw me for a loop with “you are a girl” as a reason I should or shouldn’t do a thing. Being a “sissy” was a common insult used among the kids. A kid should be tough and brave, try never to get crying or show weakness, or sometimes they would even use “like a girl” as an insult. 

I learned that my “girly” side was more of a target, so I got so in the toy chest in the living room I kept the guns, cars, blocks, etc for the boys to use, but kept hidden away in my bedroom the girly stuff like dolls. In fact I kept things like play makeup buried in drawer where no one could find them...

Yes, I was a girl, both in my personal identification and as the whole world saw me, and yet I hid my “girl stuff” like a teenager hiding drugs or dirty magazines. It was the big drawback of usually being the only girl. The girly side of being a girl was something to be quiet about.

So grew up thinking that the way to impress a guy was to be strong, tough,  smart, brave, and not at all squeamish. If boys admire each other for not being a sissy, then certainly they would admire a girl for being that way.  

Oddly enough, never once did a boy reciprocate my crushes because I wasn’t a sissy. Oh, they would like me for it, but it was seeing me as one of the guys and never as romantic potential. Or maybe not oddly. I may be hetero CIS female, but the world sees me as not girly enough in my presentation to quite believe me.

TBH, I still have a problem with that. I never learned the rules of being girly. I never was taught how to put on makeup, do hair, know about fashion, move in that swaying hips and crossed ankles when you sit kind of way... 

And down deep I don’t want to have to put on that act. I want to be me. I want someone to love me without makeup or styling, not because of the clothes I wear or because of skills with flirting games. I want to be loved for me, and girly is only part of me. Part of me is walks in the woods where I photograph snakes and spiders. Part of me is climbing in the roof to repair a leak or taking apart the hot water heater to figure out how to fix it....

I have always been a combination of things. Things like how I like romantic comedies and horror films, I picked out my antique sword because it felt like it would swing in my hand well and it had little flowers on the hand guard, or how I love classical and punk.I never wear dresses during the day, because they aren’t practical for my rough and dirty life, plus  they can make you very vulnerable. And yet at night I always wear the prettiest nightgown I can find. I had a unique “Captain’s Canopy Bed” as a child, because I loved both the captain’s bed (a bunk woth drawers under it billed as a “boy bed” by people that gender everything) and longed for a canopy bed. My father sensibly combined the two for me. To me it has never been about a contradiction or conflict, but just that different aspects manifest under different circumstances. 

I really can’t understand why people are expected to fit into catagories neatly, label themselves, force themselves to deny parts if themselves just to belong. Still,  I expect I would be happier if I could have at least forced myself to fake it.

Anyway, the boys were learning girls were “supposed” to be a certain way, and I was constantly insisting this wasn’t true. They would pick on me amd we would fight. Oddly, this “girls can’t” attitude never applied to fighting. They never went easier on me because I was a girl. 

Once they got me treed and the henchman boy was told to go get something to hit me with. I warned him not to, but he didn’t listen. As he went to get the weapon I lept out of the tree in a tackle, and began punching him. My grandmother ran out shouting for me to stop. “It’s not ladylike!!” she cried, while  I shouted back in frustration “They were going to hit me!!” 

Don’t worry, I wasn’t punished. Grandma..well, it’s complicated with her...and my parents would never punish me for something like that. Years later Mom would admit she and Pop were proud if me after that fight. “The boys picked on you so much I was glad you hit them”...

Hmmm, now that I think about it, Mom’s most common response to sexist attitudes in movies and tv shows is to grumble “Oh hit him!” Folks have no idea about Mom’s violent side, the part that watched Xena: Warrior Princess and sighed “I always wanted to be able to leap around and fight like that!” People think she is “sweet”, when Pop was always the family softie! LOL

As we got older, the sexism of the boys got worse and so did our conflict. One boy, a year older than me and the oldest of the usual gang, was the worst. His own mother was a rather strong and independent person, so it was almost confusing how he could be that way. As far as he was concerned the social structure was thatthe older the boy the higher the rank, and girls were at the bottom. It was inevitable that one day their would be an explosion.

The final straw came over, of all things, me wanting to make our gang of friends into a club. It was all the fault if a kids magazine called Dynamite, that put out a book on making your own club, complete with membership cards printed in a fold out of the cover you could cut out. It sounded like a great idea. It wasn’t.

To be honest, I shouldn’t have been at all surprised. By this point the oldest boy had gotten to be a complete pain about gender roles, but also about me in particular. My first day of kindergarten he’d been the only person I knew all day, so when I passed him in the hall I’d said “Hello”. The boy next to him asked who I was and he said “I don’t know!” right in front of me. I had started to consider our “friendship” differently after that, and his now increased insistence that boys were superior increased the rift.

To make matters worse, the boys had developed some sort of age based ranking. When I invited the oldest boy’s little brother to come to the club meeting too, the guy had been outraged. It had seemed natural to me, I mean I invited my little brother. I always wanted to include everyone. To the boys, the younger boys didn’t count and the older you were the more power you were “supposed” to have.

Now for the club I’d fixed up a corner of the shed out back. I put up posters, made a candle (I just loved making candles and melting wax when I was little...us GenXers lived dangerous lives!LOL), set up chairs and a table, had refreshments and, of course, the membership cards. I couldn’t wait for them to show up.

Once the boys arrived I said it was time to elect officers. Immediately the oldest boy announced there was no need and started to pass out the cards. He said he would be president because he was oldest, my favorite boy would be vice president, the thieving henchman would be treasurer because he was next oldest, the other boys would be just members, and I would be...secretary. 

Oh he was glad to explain. Girls are always secretaries. Only girls can be secretaries. Girls can never be president. The other boys accepted this.

Naturally I was outraged. This was NOT right! We were supposed to vote! And we were supposed to vote for who would be best for the job, not who was oldest or a boy. Girls CAN be president! And besides, the club was my idea and the clubhouse in my yard so I shouldn’t be stuck being the stupid secretary without even voting!!!!

There was a lot of shouting after that. The boys stormed off, taking the cards with them. I went in the house to take the refreshments, and the boys snuck back to trash the place. They tore the posters, smashed my candle, and turned over the furniture. 

I cried.

I was also furious.

I was beyond fed up with the oldest boy and his assumption of leadership. Now my favorite boy did apologize, but he was always the nice one. The others were unrepentant. The oldest boy insisted he was right that girls could never lead. 

There was only one thing left to do: Challenge the oldest boy to a duel.

I went right up to him and said I’d had enough. I was challenging him to a fight. One on one, just him and me. No weapons, just our strength. The winner would be the leader of the kids.

I know it’s absurd, but since physical fighting is what they valued I figured I had to go with it. Actually, if anything, a fight would be skewed in my favor. While the boy was a year older, I was a head taller. Where he was lanky, I’d gotten to be a sort of muscular and agile fat.***** Physically the avantage was mine, an since refusing to fight me would be so embarrassing to him I knew I’d get the fight. 

He agreed, and then I made a very stupid mistake. I decided to show him a bit of mercy. Since losing to a girl would be so humilating, I set the time and place where we would meet alone for our fight. I wanted to win, to make my point, but  I wasn’t trying to shame him.

And so the time came. We met in a back yard, in clear area  hidden from windows in case an adult was looking by trees. I wish I could tell you some dramatic blow by blow, but honestly I remember it as very quick. He fancied he knew fighting moves, got into a pose, and I flattened him. Almost admittedly I had him pinned to the ground where I sat on top of him until he admitted I had won. 

I went home overjoyed. This lasted until the kids got together. I, oh so foolishly, assumed I was now leader. The boy, however, was not about to give up power...or tell the truth. 

As an adult I realize my naivety, but at the time I was 7 or 8. I honestly had believed the boy would have been honest. I always told the truth, so why wouldn’t he? And since we had made a sort of “official” deal, he would be obliged to tell the truth. 

He lied. Right there, right in front of me, he lied. 

The boy announced he had won. I said he was lying, that I had won, and he laughed. Of course he had won. He was a boy. Did the boys really think  a girl could beat him?

 I offered to fight him again right there, but he refused saying he’d already won. I couldn’t get him to feel pressured to fight me again because now the boys wouldn’t really want him to. On some level I think they believed me and knew I would win if we fought again. As long as they didn’t see me clobber him they could pretend the boys “deserved” to be in charge. They needed the lie as much as he did.

And so I learned a lesson: witneses matter. People will almost always lie if the truth threatens them. 

You know, I think this is why I have always been obsessed with watching when something horrible is happening. I always had this feeling that even when I can’t help, I can be there for the person in some way. I’d listen, watch, and remember. When I was 9 I stood in the snow, no coat and no socks, waiting until a man was removed from a crashed car because I didn’t want to “abandon” him. I would report teachers that did something incredibly wrong, even though I knew the teacher would deny it and I knew my classmates were too afraid to back me up, because the truth had to be known. I wanted to be the witness I needed for that fight, someone to back me up when no one wants to hear the truth.

As a footnote, after the duel failed I tried one more way to defeat the oldest boy: Voodoo!

Well, voodoo by way of a book I’d been reading. It wasn’t real voodoo, or probably like any realistic magical practices. In the book someone had carved a skull into a tree, written someone’s name under it, and the  hammered a nail into the center of the skull with devastating consequences to the victim. I had a pocket knife and a nail, so I gave it a go.

Sadly voodoo didn’t work. 

Even more sadly the boy grew up to move away from this hick town, get a good job, get married and have kids. In other words, he got a far better life than I’ve had. Oh well, the universe never cares about fairness.

** Actually one boy always won, because TBH I liked everything about him best.

***Hilariously, one of the boys tried to steal my cork gun, claiming it was his. Pop had engraved my name in the gun sight, and when my father pointed at to ask what it said, the boy claimed it was his name! That boy was never very bright, always dishonest, and a born henchman! LOL You know, I bet that toy gun would have been illegal to make just a few years later, just because it literally fired things. Heck, maybe it already was and had been sitting on the store shelf for years before I got it. We couldn’t find one like it a coulle years later for my little brother.... 

****I want to point out being a good shot runs in the family. Back in the 1960s when my family had to shoot for self defense (long story) Mom was apparently a crack shot. On one side of her family she has had relatives that were at times the official best shot for their branch of the military. One, even as an old man in poor health, liked to show off how he could selectively shoot off small tree top branches a long diatance uphill from him. Plus, Mom likes to mention she is distantly related to Annie Oakley, which is apparenty true.

*****Traumatic stuff happened when I started school, triggering a bunch of sudden changes with me. One was weight gain, but I had stayed strong as ever. 

#childhood #gender #fighting #duel #sexism #children

[himboratking]

For the character game, G, or if you don't have, then I :)

Don't have much Gs I think but doesn't mean I don't have any at all. The names in parentheses are the stories they're in)

Edit: I w a s w r o n g

Gabriel Gale Johnson (Clair De Lune)

Gabe, Gale, iel, goldilocks

Hupplepuff

Male

Heterosexual

New Life, Who Dis? by Unlike Pluto

Clara Luna Beauchêne (Girlfriend), Marshall Mitch Ó Maoilriain (Brother figure), Isabella Elise Johnson (sister)

Nyctophobia, Astraphobia

Backstory: Being the middle child out of three siblings, Gabriel didn't really have as much attention in the family. He was still somewhat famous at school for being the rich kid, or the golden winged, but other than it didn't matter. It was only until he met Clara that everything did, not because it was romantic, but because Clara was proof of his little sister Stella's sadistic tendencies.

Gailen Legazpi (Missing Family)

Len, Leg, Puto

Gryffindor

Male

Bisexual

Glitter & Gold by Barns Courtney

Alec Miller (Close friend, Helped start a somewhat small coup.), Sheila Richards (Mother figure/Cousin), Jessie Jimenez (Was trapped alongside her/Close friends)

Autophobia, Tomophobia,

Backstory: He used to have a normal life, trying his best to be a responsible student but end up failing due to his childhood urges, though when suddenly his cousin and uncle goes missing, he looks for them, only to end up getting kidnapped. Unbeknownst to him, it was the same place his cousin was at but they were gone. Ever since then he has been traumatized by his time in the Project COPE.

Garry Oseman (Dear Overcast)

Bro, Big bro

Ravenclaw

Male

Asexual

Now You're A Home by Christian Reindl

Gina Oseman (Little sister), Harry Tydings (Close friend), Kevin Langley (Sort of leader, inspiration.)

Claustrophobia, Gelotophobia

Backstory: Had a somewhat normal life albeit poor and bullied for being too poor and "unable to love" though it doesn't bother him as much anymore. Until the sun dissapeared and so did his parents. He only had Gina now.

Generosity/Hemshail (It All Started With Boredom, Brother Brother

Gene, Hem, Shail, Hemshie, (Not much of a nickname but still) The White Hole Gaurded

Ravenclaw

Male

Asexual

The Therapist by Foreign Air

Gluttony/Pyrrhos (Best bud, partner in crime, co worker), Chastity/Carysiel (Younger brother, Close friend), Ermyntrude/Vladeti (Leader, close friend.)

Backstory: Not much has really happened to him though he did help take care of Vladeti once when he was still Ermyntrude alongside Pyrrhos. He accompanied Wrath/Aedh and Patience/Cassiel when they were helping Beatrice/Rizalino/Ahsa stop the discrimination between "Angels" and "Demons". After that, he left them to fulfill a task alongside Vladeti and Pyrrhos given by Alucard/Tiernan/Disentropy.

Gina Oseman (Dear Overcast)

Gigi

Hupplepuff

Female

(She's only 10)

Youth by Glass Animals

Garry Oseman (older brother), Jia Liu (Mother figure), Zevon Corbiche (Also known to her as the blue man, close friend.)

Acrophobia, Nyctophobia

Backstory: Nice normal life apart from being poor. She never had to worry much because her brother was always by her side until the sun vanished.

Glutton/Pyrrhos (It all started with boredom, Brother Brother)

Stop taking my food god damnit, Black hole dude, Pyre, Greed but specific, (not really nickname but still called by it??? idk) The Black Hole Devours

Hupplepuff

Male

Homosexual

Gravity Of You by Starset

Ermyntrude/Vladeti (Partner in crime, leader, close friend), Generosity/Hemshail (Also partner in crime, co worker, close friend.), Wrath/Aedh (Older brother, Mentor Figure, close friend)

Kenophobia Atelophobia

Backstory: Being born or molded by Lucifer he was very mischeivous. He never really tried to socialize with other "Angels" until Generosity/Hemshail came to babysit and teach Ermyntrude/Vladeti with them. He is also one of the first few people that Aedh usually vents too, so when Aedh finds out that Rizalino/Beatrice/Ahsa had been reborn, he was one of the first people to find out. Eventually he leaves to go on a task alongside Vladeti and Hemshail.

Godiva (Drowning In Dreams series)

Godi, Ali, Alicia

Ravenclaw

Female

Heterosexual

Edge Of The Universe by Downplay

Søren (Husband), Ascella Bauldelaire (Close friend, treats her like she's her daughter.) Dietrich Jamison (Close friend, also treats him like he's her son)

Pyrophobia, Volcanophobia

Backstory: Not much apart from being the Godess of Expression And Art (mainly art and it's diffirent forms) though she did try to be human once, out of curiosity. She was born in a tropical island near another island filled with volcanoes, til one day one erupted. Her family didn't make it but she did and she changed back eventually into the Art Godess.

Godehydra/Edelia Hartmann ( Idk, haven't thought of a title for the story yet, It All Started With Boredom, Wings, Reality For A Life)

Deli, Edi, Delia, Lia

Gryffindor

Female

Trials by Starset

Janardar/Beorhtsige Kaiser (Husband, partner in crime.) Vladeti ( child), Rizalino/Beatrice/Ahsa (Gender fluid child)

Arachnophobia, Seismophobia

Backstory: Born in a kind of bigger version of earth, she notices her uncle looking more and more tired, until one day she overhears him crying to her mother that he is a hitman hired by their government in the midst of a war, his job was to target certain civilians on the opposing countries. Edelia decides to start a revolution, first passing notes to some close friends then going onto making speeches, and rebellion groups. Due to rumors of her speeches people from the other country start joining too, and this was bringing suspision. Eventually a massacre is found, 26 victims from her rebellion group. Longstory short, this creates an outrage and there is a Coup D'etat. She eventually has 2 kidswith her husband, and dies. Only to be reborn as a Gaurdian gaurding certain aspects of the multiverse. She helps her children train as they were also reborn as gaurdians alongside her husband, she helps her child Rizalino/Beatrice/Ahsa's friends and former babysitters, Aedh, convince his now sadistic boyfriend Cassiel to not make a global genocide, and then the Ó Maoilriain brothers (especially when one of them is her future son-in-law) plan a coup against their other Machiavellian brother. Then officially dies

Greed/Chellvon (It All Started With Boredom, Wings)

Stop asking me for my stuff, Rich Kid, Jack

Slytherin

Male

Bisexual

Tip Toes by Half•Alive

Envy/Jolina (little sister, loves annoying her.) Pride/Charles (Close friend, older brother, partner in crime, Generosity/Hemshail (Free stuff suplier, best buddy.)

Kleptophobia Kenophobia

Backstory: Not much ig. I mean yeah he experienced most of human history, he was molded by Lucifer, he fought in a war alongside Cassiel, and eventually got punished.

#my oc writing #writing #writeblr #holy crap #this was too long #my ocs

[libertasforte]

Sarazanmai is the magical boy anime we didn’t need, but deserve anyway

I binged Sarazanmai because I was told that it’s mindblowingly weird. What I wasn’t told was that it’s a magical boy anime - and a rather straightforward one, at that.

Simply put: it’s a story where the Capitalist Empire that harvests Desire is depicted as the force of evil, to be vanquished by the Power of Love of the magical boy protagonists.

Sarazanmai is also, insofar as I can understand the word, camp -  “a form both of performance and of perception celebrating theatricality and excess, improvising reality as a stage for outrageously ironic self-display and reinvention”. What Sarazanmai isn’t, is that it isn’t subtle. Its tight structure distills the bare bones minimum needed to deliver its message. In this post, I will lay out the message of Sarazanmai so far, up to the 7th episode.

To this end, I will examine in order the 4-point progression of the main characters: Red Boy, Green Boy, Blue Boy, Cop.

(Okay, they have names: Kazuki, Enta, Tooi, and Reo and Mabu. I won’t be using their names, since I don’t remember them.)

It’s given to us in the OP animation that each of these four characters has an object of Fixation, someone they want to “connect” to.

The Red Boy, on his little brother. The Green Boy, on the Red Boy. The Blue Boy, on his older brother. The Exotic Cop, on the Robot Cop. (I refer to him as Exotic based on the way he is coded: “colored” skin, grinning with sharp teeth. Perhaps a less palatable, but more precise way of describing his coding would be “Predatory.” Similarly, the other Cop is Robot coded, and is an actual artificial being besides. It synergizes with their coding as Seme Cop and Uke Cop, but let’s leave that aside for now)

Red Boy: Establish structure What’s in the box: crossdressing

The first episode introduces the format. In each episode, a Zombie is defeated. There is a transformation sequence in which the three protagonists transform into three Kappas, and they make a pilgrimage to the Zombie to retrieve what was taken. The Zombie is used to tie together the conflict in each episode: the action of defeating the Zombie is serves to accentuate the psychological and emotional narrative being told about the main characters. This technique is prevalent in a lot of action animes, not just Magical Girl ones.

The Box is the thing in which shameful things are kept. Each of the three protagonists has boxed something up. Shame is the disowned part of the self, hidden away because the self believes that it will make them unworthy of connection.

In this episode, the Zombie is of a man who has a fetish for running around naked with a box on his head. Okay, weird as far as fetishes go, what does it mean? Shameful things are hidden in the Box, and he’s ashamed of what’s in his head. Seems like the metavillain, or a portrait of the writer. Let’s get back to this.

For Red, Crossdressing = Shame. Nothing is explicitly delved into about this shame at its introduction, but it is obvious to us the audience that he finds this shameful because we live in a society.

Green Boy: Demonstrate established structure What’s in the box: a symbol of “wrong” love

It’s simple and cliche, and “I had a gay crush on my best friend” is straightforward as far as queer narratives go. It’s nice how “Golden Duo” could be a homage to the Golden Lovers of professional wrestling fame.

Blue Boy: Use structure to connect to larger ideas What’s in the box: gun

Blue’s story dives off the deep end into the forsaken, disowned bastion of masculinity: organized crime. It’s straightforward as far as manpain goes: “Mama, I killed a man, pulled my trigger, now he's dead.”

Some messages are stated: “The bad people survive,” and those who don't survive are plastered over by the logic of capitalism. The logic of competition that demands strength before what is right and good; strength before sentiment, strength before justice.

Cops: Raise the spectre of the villain and connect to an ending What’s in the box: humans

The Empire extracts Desire.

Sakushu(搾取), the Japanese word used here for extract, also means to milk, squeeze out, or wring out. Sakushu is also the Japanese translation of the Marxist idea of exploitation, in the sense that labor is exploited under capitalism. The imagery is that of a brutal logic of an assembly line of boxed products. It depicts humans packaged as commodities to be consumed, labor to be mined, like batteries in The Matrix.

Desire has a pivotal role in the capitalist logic, as it pertains to things that are not explicitly needs. If you don’t need it, you want it, and that is desire, and its fulfillment is utility. Desire also plays a role in aspiration. The desire for achievement and status encourages labor and greed - the sense that one can never have enough. The mass consumer-laborer is lead to chase the dopamine hit of achievement and acquisition.

With each Zombie, the Cops judge the nature of the Fixation as Love or Desire. The simple, functional difference is that Desire is useful: Love is not. Desire is burned as energy, Love is shredded as waste. The energy given by Desire that these beings - including the Kappa - digest and feed on, is mass-extracted and mass-produced by the Empire, and contributes into the Empire’s power. The extraction of Desire produces a Zombie which moves goods, which brings to mind the logistical feat of the selling of a product, produced for mass consumption.

At the end of episode 7, it’s revealed that the Cops once Loved each other. Tragically, the Robot Cop was turned into a robot. The object of Exotic Cop’s fixation is now artifice. Perhaps this is the evil of corrupt adulthood, capitalist society: the perversion of Love into a Desire for Product. If the evil Empire extracts Desire, in contrast, the magical boys stand for the Love that cannot have Desire extracted out of it.

Who is the naked Man with a Box on his Head?

What to make of the man who’s ashamed of what’s in his head? With the Box as Product, it could symbolize the forsaking of connection and the retreat into porn, virtual reality. It also seems like the predicament of the writer of this story, and any author: the boxing and selling of the human experience into media, to produce content for consumption. Can this writer tell his family about what he’s written?

What is Red Boy’s narrative?

Symbolically: The Boxing of the Girl.

Suppose that everyone originally inherently regards themselves without gender, and there is some part of them that aspires to be a boy, and some part of them that aspires to be a girl. Societally, there is a shaming of the part of a cisboy that aspires to be a girl. It’s the male cisheteronormative narrative, or male compulsory heterosexuality: shut down the self-feminine in shame, and find it in a woman outside of yourself. On the pain of shame: the threat of being expelled from the circle of humanity.

What next?

With the resolution of Red’s arc vis-a-vis his little brother and reaffirmation of his connection and belonging within his family and among his friends, the three protagonists play soccer together in the spirit of communal Love. But their commons are trashed, their hope is stolen - by Green, himself, out of envy for Red and Blue. I can read into this, but I’ll let the anime speak for itself first.

The writer, of Utena fame, is infamous for his tragic stories, but I’m holding out my hopes for a happy resolution. It seems like a return to form for someone whose breakout work was in Sailor Moon.

Genuine Connection: You can’t fake it, you can’t steal it, you can’t consummate it. You can’t soak in it, you can’t forgive it, you can’t give it up, and you want to betray it. How to resolve it?

Unfortunately, sexualization

I have to touch on the fact that the anime is, very, very, unfortunately, pedo, with its sexualization of middle schoolers. (The innuendos are more blatant before translation.) What partly salvages it is that it’s camp. I mean, shit’s wrecked, but that does not mean someone cannot attempt to salvage it. It’s not porn, and a part of me wants to go dumpster diving to explore to what effect the sexual metaphor is used, and what the anime has to say about sexuality. Rough thoughts: the exposé of shame, and the corresponding destruction of the self that accompanies it - a catharsis - jouissance?

#sarazanmai #sarazanmai meta #meta

[crossedbeams]

The Rape of The X-Files: Chris Carter and Control

An essay on my rage. - Rose

As a relatively new fan to the show, I’ve sometimes struggled to understand the level of vitriol the fandom harbours towards the show’s creator, Chris Carter, but 12 hours from the premiere of S11, I think I’m finally starting to get it. It’s not about any one episode, or a character arc that is less successful than the show at its best. It’s not about the anticlimax of years of rose-tinted revival. 

It’s about disrespect and misogyny masquerading as creativity. 

It’s about a man who has created a project and with it a person, offering it to us as one thing - a journey for truth starring a woman of integrity and worth, uncowed by impossible odds and stalwart in a world determined to misunderstand and belittle her. But this is not actually what he is offering. Having convinced us that he values and believes in this character, that we should too, he begins, under the guise of “character development”, her total destruction; the molestation of all she holds dear, and through this act and a hundred other micro-messages reinforcing the same thing, the rape of not just one character but in essence everything the show has purported to be.

To its fans and many of the creative forces involved, writers, directors and cast, The X-Files is a show about love and hope and possibility. It is a tale of strength and loyalty and humans. It is a show I have come to love, a show that brings us all together here, which is what makes its creator so increasingly problematic.

Chris Carter has shown, time and time again, through the stories he tells when he writes that what he actually believes in is not God or Science or the capacity of those who fight and seek truth to achieve justice, but in his right as creator to borrow tragedy and torment from anywhere and anyone, without remorse or care, to feed his egotistic vision of The X-Files. He truly believes that what his audience wants is his “genius” 40 minute take on issues that he does not understand. He is liberal only in his appropriation of trauma to feed his narrative; no race, religion or gender is safe from his careless pilfering. 

I’m not saying that men like Carter shouldn’t write about these things, in many ways I wish more would, but to the service of their subject. Good writers try to look beyond their experience out of a desire to illuminate, protest and educate, to lend the privilege of their position. They create space for controversial content within their world out of a desire to be an ally and deal humanly, hopefully with the repercussions and the result. They aim to inspire change

Chris Carter just wants to cause controversy. 

When asked by EW what led him to make My Struggle III’s decision about Scully’s child’s paternity, Carter replies

 “ It adds to the characters in an interesting emotional way. “

This after ten seasons of character building. This after the pre-exisiting trauma of these seasons has driven Mulder and Scully apart. This, at the end of an episode, in which Scully has already had seizures, endured a car accident and had an assailant attempt to throttle her in her sickbed and watched her partner murder this man on top of her, all while missing her son, orphaned and fearing the end of the world and for her own sanity.

If you cannot, as a writer, find interest and emotional meaning in this rich body of work, then you are no writer. Except Carter is. He has written many interesting and innovative plot-lines for The X-Files, generated spin-offs, this whole world is born of his imagination… which leads us to a much more troubling truth.

He simply doesn’t care.

To him, The X-Files is a plaything and Dana Scully is an object. With every trauma unconsidered, every choice undermined and every abuse of her mind and body, Carter demonstrates that Dana Scully (the “two steps behind please” back-up who didn’t have a backstory until David Nutter wrote her one in Beyond the Sea) was never envisioned to be a feminist icon or symbol of female empowerment. To Chris Carter, she was only supposed to be a body for Mulder to bounce ideas against, a plot device for a conspiracy of men to use and exploit. Perhaps this is why Carter hates ‘shippers so much, because Scully was never intended to be Mulder’s equal, his lover, she was just supposed to be his foil. Her sexuality is supposed to be limited to inspiring male envy (Milagro), rage (Never Again) or reproduction (preferably medically induced to deny her agency even in this most traditional of female roles. Making Scully the body upon which to enact his fears, prejudices and fantasies at the cost of her own integrity is why Carter has become the show’s greatest Achilles Heel.

Ironically, this casting is perhaps most keenly summarised by a monologue  Carter penned himself in yesterday’s episode. While he attempts to describe the motives of the Cigarette Smoking Man he unintentionally presents an unfortunately apt description of his own relationship to The X-Files.

“He was to be the man to lead us, but he became destructive. He took only his own counsel. […] You have no idea this man’s need to control our fate.”

 - Chris Carter, My Struggle III

It’s about control, and in this case the need to maintain it when what you have created threatens to become more than you. Chris Carter was given the opportunity to be the most powerful man in a world with a long reach and the power to inspire through change. He was given 25 years of viewership and acting talent and budget to make a TV show that was revolutionary. Only he doesn’t want a revolution. He wants things to be as he sees them, his characters to be clean and platonic and known; blank canvases who spring back from torment unscathed, ready to have fresh terror and trauma rained upon them. Just to add interest. Chris Carter cannot see that the X-Files universe is one of collaboration, of unexpected circumstance sparking development, of characters becoming more than they are written. In his desire to air the biggest, most complicated conspiracy arc of all time, he is missing that many of the most beloved and iconic episodes are about small people and issues that are the more impactful for their lack of wham-bam-drama.

Why else would he, at the end of a dramatic episode that had fairly successfully fixed a tricky cliff-hanger, (an episode that I actually quite enjoyed), would he use the last three minutes to rewrite everything based on a harmful, damaging, degrading alteration of the show’s long term narrative. Mulder and Scully refer to William as ‘our son’, Scully, a medical doctor, claims William’s stem-cells will save Mulder, suggesting she knows they are genetically compatible (and we know from canon that she knows the difference between a sibling and a parental match). Given this, given the many questions that are raised in My Struggle III about a new faction of human colonisation nutters, Scully’s mental health, Skinner’s maybe-betrayal and the possibility of an apocalyptic scenario, why would we need to throw in a medical rape, ret-conning En Ami and rendering irrelevant much of the character work (Mulder and Scully as grieving parents) that he has done in the seasons since?

“Because Chris Carter” is the only reason I can come up with. It’s a self-indulgent flexing of muscles nobody asked to see and for that I will struggle to forgive him. 

The calculated cruelty of his treatment of his world, characters and audience is irredeemable, and were it not for the culture of discourse in this fandom, the possibility of appreciating much of the rest of the show, its writing and performances, my struggle  would be reconciling my feelings for Chris Carter and my love of The X-Files.

Fortunately, outside the writing room, the X-Files is beyond his control. The friendships it creates, the community it fosters have the power to keep the world of Mulder and Scully from descending irrevocably into a racist, misogynistic soup, even if canon’s gravity is headed that way. It crosses cultural boundaries, asks brave questions and it brings us together in our outrage. The wounds left by Carter are met by creative bandages, fanworks which take the best of the show and its people and make beautiful, powerful statements. So don’t be ashamed to love this mess of a show or allow Chris Carter’s megalomania to drive you away (though I do not judge you if it does). Get mad, get inspired and get loud in whatever way you can. Let Fox know that whatever comes next, either for The X-Files or a new show, behaviour like Chris Carter’s will not go unnoticed. Write letters, write emails, scream it on your social media, talk to your friends, make it clear to anyone who will listen, even if it is only one person, that The X-Files fandom will not support rape culture. Perhaps it feels small but all revolutions start with a whisper. Changing one mind is a huge victory.

Do it for Dana Scully, who deserved better and for all the little girls she inspired who deserve more than a world in which their idol is a man’s plaything 

#txf #txf commentary #txf s11 #meta #chris carter #rapegate #my struggle iii #problematic faves #rose thinks #criticism

[ardalionandnatalia]

Ardalion and Natalia (VIV)

Sam: Natalia! Where did that woman go? I need to see Katya now!

In a designated herb garden, Natalia enters, bearing an armful of golden, ripened wheat sheaves for the ritual. She now carefully examines the selection of herbs and flowers required in the ritual tomorrow. She frowns and sighs sourly at the loud-mouthed, childish Sam clinging onto her like a crass boy with pranks.

Natalia: Katya is undergoing purification for the oracle's forecast tomorrow!

Natalia: She cannot mingle with the outside world now.

Sam: Oh, that's too bad. I thought I was scoring with her! Damn, that pussy was ripe for the picking!

Natalia: You should go and do the labors Iole set before you!

Sam: What labors?

Natalia: You're disgusting! Away from me, or else you will corrupt me and then I cannot participate in the forecast!

Sam: I don't care about the temple, so why should I listen to what Iole suggested?

Natalia: So you can become a better man! You would be wise to heed Iole's exhortations.

Sam: Why do you want to help Katya anyways? You know nothing about her! You're getting paid to do this, aren't you? Because of Iole and stuff right? Listen, can I PAY you guys to return me back home?

Natalia: Unlike you, you little dog, I want to help her because she is a new soul lost int this other world. Also, Katya seems like a kind and gentle soul who could use a friend. Get back home?

Sam: *sniff* I'm a kind and gentle soul too.

Natalia: *blinks in confusion*

Sam: Well, yeah. I want to go back to New York city!

Natalia: What do you mean? We can never go back. We're all dead here. This is a new world we must live in.

Sam: Are you sure we're dead? I don't feel dead. You guys keep on saying you're dead, but who knows? You might not be.

Natalia: And I can never return to my beloved Venice! You must learn to live here now.

Sam: I don't feel dead at all.

Natalia: I remember dying- it was quite vivid.

Sam: That's your decision not to return. I don't remember dying.

Sam: maybe some of us are still alive, what do you think?

Natalia: We have a second life here, and we too will die here in this other world.

Sam: There's no point!

Natalia: So we must live our second life carefully.

Sam: We just live and die. There's no point in living. Nah, I don't think so, lady. I need to either find a way back home, or you know, just bum around and see what outrageous messes I can create here.

Natalia: There is a point- you can simply live and appreciate the joys of living. Begone, ne'er do well! If you won't help me, then find something else to occupy your idle time. Go and throw a bacchanale with the Sophists on the canal.

Sam: I don't even know what you're talking about. I just want to see Katya again! Damn, I saved her! I should be the one getting closer to her!

Natalia: *bends down and resumes her herb and flowering selecting*

Natalia: She is occupied now! You know nothing of our world and our ways.

Sam sighs and walks away, and eventually bumps into Ardalion.

Ardalion is heading towards Natalia.

Preoccupied with her duties, she failes to see Ardalion at first.

Ardalion: Natalia?

Ardalion approaches her and taps her on the shoulder.

Ardalion: Do you need any help? I-I want to help out with the ritual as well.

Natalia: *startles slightly at his touch and the sound of his voice- she straightens and looks over her bony shoulder at him, curious at his tone, so devoid of its typical arrogance and swagger* I only said this to Sam to distract him, or else send him away. I fear there's not much you can do to assist us with the ritual- except keep away from the temple. You mustn't touch me, since I need to remain pure to accompany Katya during the forecasting.

Natalia: *eye Ardalion with an air of suspicion* You seem curious about this affair- why?

Ardalion: What do you mean by pure? I can't be pure? *scoffs*

A bit of his arrogance and sarcasm returns to his voice.

Ardalion: I was just a bit shocked by Katya's return.

Katya: I did not think I'd see her again.

Natalia: *remains hardened- she will not be swayed by his sarcasm* You never knew the meaning of the word purity. And yes, it is odd- how this world works. So many of us have yet to be reunited with our loved ones, yet here, you have seen yet again the woman you almost ruined. Perhaps fate is telling you something, Ardalion...

Ardalion: Yes, I know what you're going to say. In fact, I may try it out. I'll win her heart again and reform. I'll prove to be better than the man I was before. And better yet than her husband. *his voice sounds particularly cold and mocking when he spits out the last word*

Natalia: It seems futile- I advise you not to. She has a husband, already.

Ardalion: How do you know I won't be successful? He's not here.

Natalia: You're jealous- jealous your son is the better man.

Ardalion: I'm not jealous. I just want to change myself!

Natalia: She remains married yet- do you have no honor? But then, a man like you might be unfamiliar with the concept.

Ardalion: God dammit, Natalia. You are obsessed with portraying me as the villain in all of this!

Natalia: You are jealous- admit it. *remains calm and picks a few herbs*

Ardalion: How can a man be jealous of his own progeny?

Natalia: Besides, how is winning a woman you almost ruined change anything about yourself? If you truly wanted to change, you'd focus on yourself, not some conquest on a woman.

Ardalion: I am focusing on my biggest flaw.

Natalia: Even the gods of the lore envied their scions! Look at Cronus- he devoured his own!

Ardalion: Please, those gods don't exist! Actually, I thought you had it figured out already. Gods are all illusions! *laughs* The only gods in this universe, are men.

Ardalion has a twinkle in his eye.

Ardalion: men can become gods, especially now in this 'Afterlife.' Aren't you a Goddess, too, if you see yourself as such?

Natalia: No, they don't exist, but perhaps they do in our minds. We ourselves are like them, vain, carnal creatures urged and ruined by own egos.

Ardalion: Because primitive humans couldn't see themselves as gods so they have to project and create false, ludicrous images. Some people refuse to see the world as it really is.

Natalia: You'd best not let Iole hear you talk like this- she would be sorely furious at your words. *smirks*

Ardalion: *smiles* Katya was beautiful today, though. Seems like having a child didn't ruin her looks too much, at least not yet.

Natalia: What is the reality, Ardalion?

Ardalion: I wonder how she looked like when she went inside the baths.

Natalia: Is not reality subjective?

Natalia: Ah, typical of a man- focused on a woman and her body.... you never once gave through to her own self, her feelings, her thoughts.

Ardalion: I shall go inside the baths, then.

Natalia: You will be killed by the guards, then.

Ardalion laughs.

Natalia: You only crave after the carnal, like some beast goaded by lust, it seems.

Ardalion: Oh no, I only want her to return my love for her.

Ardalion's voice becomes crudely mocking.

Natalia: Love?

Ardalion: Kind of like those tales you'd read about, about some prince pining after some woman.

Natalia: Men like you know nothing about love...

Ardalion: I've obsessed over her for so many years!

Natalia: Such a love doesn't exist.

Ardalion: I was just so afraid to see her again. And now here she is.

His voice is even more mocking now.

Natalia: You only want her body. Had her body been altered, you would have rejected her.

Ardalion: I thought we were all eunuchs here in the afterlife, aren't we?

Natalia: What if....*her voice grows cold and hard, bitter and sharp* What if she became like me? I wonder how repulsed you'd be then. I am repulsive, am I not? You flinch if I reach out to you, do you not?

Ardalion: So I can't harm her. And gender doesn't matter now that we're dead, so I should be allowed inside the baths as well. I'm just as much of a woman as she is!

Ardalion laughs and cups her face.

Natalia: Who knows? We have bodies, we eat, we drink, we feel pain and die.

Ardalion: You're not repulsive to me, Natalia, if you really want to hear.

Natalia: Don't touch me! *slaps his hand away*

Ardalion: Nothing really repulses me. I'm someone who can see beyond the physical.

Natalia: I'll scream and slash your face if you come closer!

Ardalion: Oh, typical. You wouldn't even want it even when it's given to you freely. Funny! You were pretty much begging for me to do something like that, anyways.

Natalia: All you want is a woman's body to devour, like a piece of meat, you animal!

Ardalion: You're always this self-hating little wretch. You're jealous of women like Katya! I may not love Katya, you're right about that, but she's nothing like you, you wretched, screeching, over-emotional little thing! She's dignified and always had a sense of grace about her, nothing like you!

Natalia: I do not envy her- beauty means nothing to me now, especially when all beauty does is attract scum like you. All you men want is beauty! Beauty! Beauty!

Ardalion: I wonder just how jealous you actually are of her...She's not beautiful! How is she beautiful? She is the most common looking person I have ever seen. She looks like a peasant.

Natalia: Do you really think insulting me will elicit the reaction you wanted to see from me? Why pester me like this?

Ardalion: What attracted me to her wasn't her beauty, but her vulnerability and her obsession with improving herself!

Natalia: Then why lust after her?

Ardalion: I lusted after her because she wanted me so badly.

Natalia: Tis a shame you didn't care about herself when you devoured her!

Natalia: You're hardly a man, Ardalion.

Ardalion laughs and walks off.

Ardalion: tell me if you need my help, Natasha.

Natalia: You're a beast motivated by the basest, and even more ridiculous because you possess some shred of intellect. Let me in peace! *snarls at him* *fixes her eyes on him as he trails off in the distant*

Sam sneaks back into the scene.

Sam: Hey, Natalia! Sorry that old guy is bothering you!

Natalia: *gazes down in pensiveness* Is that all men really want from we women?

Natalia: Let me be, Sam...

Sam: What are you talking about? What men want from women? Are you frustrated that men seem to be only interested in the flesh? Then get yourself a Nice New Yorker like me! We don't care about things like that. We just want to make money and be nice to people! And make tons of movies. Nothing like that wretched old guy we just saw. I'm a lamb, not a wolf!

Natalia: I wasn't talking to you- I spoke to my mind for contemplation. I know nothing of this New York-what happened to your Old York?

Sam: And I'm not even good at athletics. Me and my friends are horrible at sports! No girls like us because they discriminate against us! It's all because we're not Anglo-Saxon!

Natalia: I want nothing from the world of the living, especially from men as you and Ardalion are like.

Sam sighs and starts humming a klezmer tune.

Sam: Oh, Natalia! You are one of those scorned women who will eternally be without companionship! With that sour attitude of yours.

Natalia: Ardalion is Russian, Sam, he is not English, nor German.

Sam: My Rabbi would say that. He'd have some good advice to give you.

Sam: I'm Russian too! I won't let that old guy steal my Russianness from me.

Natalia: Your Rabbi means nothing in this new world. When will you and Ardalion understand this? Our life of the living means nothing now. This is a new world, governed by new laws and a new nature. We cannot live and operate under old ideas.

Sam: Don't you DARE say my Rabbi means nothing!

Sam laughs and continues.

Natalia: I prefer the companionship of my sisters here. Now, I must resume my duties- you and the old lecher have distracted me long enough! Away, both of you!

Sam: That's true, my Rabbi would say to be more open. Things often don't matter. I'm one of the sisters too, you man hating twerp. Under communism, gender doesn't matter anymore! The new Soviet man! The new Soviet woman! The new Soviet PERSON!

Sam helps her to pick some herbs.

Sam: Is this doing the right thing?

Two other furies, both green-skinned naiads, enters the garden. They seem concerned for Natalia's stress. They approach them, glaring at Sam.

Sam grins at them.

Sam: Who are you two? You gals look wonderful today, don't you? Love green! It's my favorite colour!

Natalia: Elpis, Jocasta, help me- this whelp torments with his ranting and raving.

Sam: Be a little more tolerant! I'm one of the womenfolk!

Elpis and Jocasta glare at Sam, eyeing him with disdain...

Sam: Don't you know my Dad's a hardcore feminist!

Sam: I see you don't want me here anymore. I shall promptly disappear, then.

Sam sneaks out before the two can do anything to him.

Elpis: You must be the loud-mouthed trader from the desert. Can't you see our sister wishes to be left in peace?

Sam decides to find Ardalion and talk to him.

Jocasta: You can't interfere with the ritual! Be gone, Sam!

Natalia: *bows her head gratefully* Thank you, my sisters. *resumes her duties of selecting the herbs and flowers*

#rp #rp stuff #ardalion and natalia

[abassi-okoro]

THE ANGRY WHITE WOMEN

by Abassi Okoro Eziokwu

Hate is too strong of an emotion to waste on people who don't deserve it. I hate Meghan McCain. Rather I hate what she represents, angry white femininity. It was an angry white woman who caused the savage annihilation of Emmet Till. It is the knee-jerk reactions of angry white women who call the police on black people for doing nothing more than blinking one too many times. White women are just always angry with something or someone. Have you noticed that? Despite the racial stigma that black women are often awarded, the “ANGRY BLACK FEMALE,” at least black anger is justifiably directed at a specific or definitive idea – RACISM!

Black anger carries a certain rationale, a certain sanity. It's understandable to sympathize with the anger of a people who are systematically and institutionally oppressed, abused, and persecuted – and that's only talking about black MEN! Now add to that persecution the reality of being a black WOMAN and your abuse has just gotten worse. But in 2019, you would think that it is "White Women" who are the benefactors of white male infliction or structured social abuse and oppression. It seems that every time we tune into FOX, CNN, or some feminist round table television talk show - there is no shortage of snarling, beady-eyed, 'trembling in anger' blonde-haired, white women all too eager to tell the whole of America how they're outraged over something or someone or how “women” (which is really code for WHITE women) are discriminated against more than black folk in this country.

These white women remind me of yappy little – big eyed Chihuahuas barking uncontrollably at the slightest insignificant sound or purely imagined discomfort. When white folks profess their anger over something, they call it "Outrage." Black folks call it, "White Tears." They're always stepping out of line, ridiculing and pointing fingers and especially when it comes to American Patriotism. Nothing gets these white women barking louder than the notion that American "Ideals" are being threatened by black people's audacity to call to attention racism or the fear that immigration of Hispanic people is going to colorize and lord forbid, "colonize" lily white neighborhoods like Boise Idaho or Cedar Rapids Iowa (because I'm sure that one of the whitest towns in America is worried to death over some Mexicans coming in and stealing their warehouse associate jobs at the Adam's Lumber Yard). Or the worse case scenario, Colin Kaepernick takes a knee. Tomi Lahren every week on her show damn near had a complete mental and emotional meltdown anytime Colin Kaepernick's name was mentioned. Despite my thoughts of her anger being nothing more than a cover-up for wanting to sleep with him, she didn't fail once at getting her "outrage" out to the American public. Meanwhile, white male executives who control the FOX network had no problem offering her the platform to exploit her little annoying blonde ass.

Megyn Kelly spends a great majority of her airtime interpreting innocent remarks or acts as "sexist." That's why she always has a frog up her ass, she thinks everything is sexual. Meghan McCain's shtick is that everyone and anyone who falls short of worshipping white Jewish people is, "Anti-Semitic." Then there's the rest of American white women in general who have a long history of voting against their own best interests. White women historically have always been proponents of white supremacy and the Feminist movement is an off-shoot of that white supremacy. Black women told you that years ago that white women were going into the black neighborhoods trying to recruit black women for white feminine agendas while suggesting to these black women that they would have to leave their families, give up their black men before they could be part of the “Women's Liberation Movement.”

And so many black women did exactly that. They stopped being mothers, wives, caretakers, they got jobs in corporate America, became “secretaries” in white owned companies, put on a business suit, told their kids, ��I ain't cooking shit - I ain't got to take care of you,” traded in their natural hair for a perm, learned how to talk “white” on the phone and if the police came knocking at the door, they had no problem turning in their black boyfriend or black husband and especially if he was not treating her right. The white feminist snatched up many of these black women and said, “We're sisters now” and eventually sisters became partners and partners over time became "lovers." Meanwhile, white men were locking up black men over petty shit like 10 to 20 years for $10 of weed. That's called, “Engineered Racism” folks.

BUT WHY ARE WHITE WOMEN SO ANGRY?

I'm not suggesting that only certain people are allowed to be angry (the oppressed) but it sure does make more sense for oppressed to be angry and non-oppressed to NOT be so angry. Unless of course you're implying that white women are an oppressed marginalized group? I was told that white women are angry over gender inequality and especially in the political arena. Makes sense - if I was ignorant that is. When asked a little under two years ago how Donald Trump got elected, the answer that was told to us was because the people who voted for him were white and angry. They were suffering from financial anxiety and Trump's rhetoric of bringing jobs back to America sounded pretty darn good to Becky and Bob. Now here we are in 2019 and those Trump voters who were white and angry are STILL white and they’re STILL angry but only now they're angry because they STILL haven't landed those good ole' American jobs that they were promised back in 2016 and on top of that, Trump is more concerned with building a wall to keep Mexicans out than opening up a factory in your already dilapidated - one sheriff- rural town. I'm sure it feels awful to white people who just aren't accustomed to being bent over and screwed in the ass. But if you need a shoulder to cry on white people, give people of color a call. We're experienced at being lied to by white assholes. The grief counseling hotline after being lied to by white men is 1-800-YOU-DUMB. Negroes, Mexicans and Native Americans are waiting by the line to accept your calls.

FEMINIST RAGE 101

White women in particular are encouraging each other to let out their anger in the face of the current administration. Yet, white women have failed miserably in dismantling racism. It appears that white women's rage only became a thing when white men became indifferent to white female sexuality. In other words, white men simply are not that into you (just like the movie suggested). When white men were abusing women of color, sexually exploiting black women, committing sexual violence against black women with impunity, and we didn't hear a single outcry from white women. Instead, white women actually downplayed and silenced the anger of women of color - hoping that it would gain favor in the eyes of white men. You held out for nothing, he didn't care that you had his back. White men don't need your help with being a racist or a rapist. But in recent years, white women switched and played the role of “Social Activist” and despite all the protests and public outcries and unpaid emotional labor by women of color, what did these "socially aware" white women do? White women turned around and sold black women out. They threw black women under the bus and went out to the polls and voted for the party of toxic white supremacy. It's safe to say that white women are more likely to betray their gender for their race, a proverbial gut-punch to black women who have been victims of white masculinity for generations. White women should be more ashamed than angry.

Bu let me tell you how angry white women really are. White women are so angry that 53% of them put their white privilege above their 2nd class gender status to vote for Donald Trump. Despite their "anger," white women believe they benefit from white male patriarchy by trading on their whiteness to monopolize resources for mutual gain. In return, they’re placed on a pedestal to be “cherished and revered,” by white men who in reality will not only be quick to deny them their basic human rights but will, "Grab them by the pussy" while denying them. Look, let's cut through the bullshit and just go ahead and be brutally honest: White women, your white man will NEVER love you the way he should (to full capacity.) Maybe because he spends most of his time fantasizing over black, Latin and Asian women. He'll never tell you that, but I will! Hurts doesn't it? Maybe that's why you're angry because despite supporting the system of White Supremacy, you know deep down inside your soul that the whole premise of white supremacy is predicated on white male sexual inadequacy (white genetic survival, penis envy and trying to get back into the womb of the black woman in order to recreate himself without the genetic deficiencies). Isn't that why many of your fellow white women leave their white men to be with black men to begin with? Because even white women know who the real KINGS are (Royal blood). Now pick your jaw up off the floor.

Isn't this the real reason for white female fragility? The answer is yes! There exist a lot of truths about ourselves that most of us aren't willing to explore. For white people, some of those truths paint them in a very pathetic light. I'm sorry, but as a white woman in America - you're simply not a victim of anything structural. You may be a victim to some personal and isolated incident but there is no systemic or institutionalized "ism" in place to destroy you and NO, Sexism isn't your collective oppression. You can't claim that because sexism isn't exclusive to just the female gender and white men have always treated you like shit and so don't start acting like now all of a sudden you have a problem with being his bitch and especially after 53% of you voted in a "Pussy Grabber" as your President. GROW UP white women. Pull yourself together ladies. It's not a good look to be angry for no goddamn reason.

[netherwar-rpg-blog]

Welcome to the Wardens, Mandi! Your application for a MAGE OC has been accepted with a Torrance Coombs FC.

I am thrilled that such an exciting character is joining the Wardens! It was a delight to read through such a well-developed app with so many thought out twists and turns. Soren has been emphasized as this intruiging mastermind with a special talent for politics and manipulation which will be really interesting to see in play. Especially as he has strong connections with the Star Tower’s Council of Four and the other Mages in the group! These could be really useful links for the Wardens to take advantage of. His desire to be a leader and to prove himself as the best will surely create a lot of tension too. He was forced into the world of politics and power from an early age, so it will be interesting to see whether he will be able to reconcile with his Archmage father or not. No doubt the Star Tower will eventually have to work with the Wardens so it may force Soren and his father to address their family disputes! We are really excited to see how he interacts with everyone.

The application can be found under the cut. You have 48 hours to create a roleplay account (cannot be a sideblog) for your character and we will be updating our opening date soon!

O O C - I N F O

Name: Mandi

Age: 19

Timezone: EDT

Activity Level: I try to go for daily, but that’s kind of a lie. Several times a week.

Extra: Please love my beautiful mage-daddy.

C H A R A C T E R - I N F O

T H E - B A S I C S

Title: The Mastermind

Name: Soren Archeim

Gender: Male

Age: 74

Class: Mage

Faceclaim: Torrance Coombs

C H A R A C T E R - D E T A I L S

Nationality: Dawnish

Appearance: Soren stands with confidence, his eyes fixated on whoever he is speaking to with a chilling intensity. His brown hair is kept short and neat and he only wears the finest clothing. There is a boyish look about him that can be noticed if an observer looks closely. He has clear skin and is clean of blemishes, with the exception of a burn scar on the inside of his calf that he hides at all cost. When speaking, Soren leans in close to the other person, often smiling and calculating all the while.

Personality:

+Orderly: Soren is not about to let a mess ruin his fun. His clothing is always folded and neatly put away, and he adheres to a strict schedule. If chaos reigns, then Soren cannot function.

+Determined: Nothing will stop Soren from getting what he wants, when he wants it. He has gone through years of training and racing to the top, and he will not be stopped.

+Ambitious: Soren came from a high-ranking family in Dawnstar and has always been expected to take on a leading role as a mage. He cannot disrupt tradition. He knows that he is best suited to guide the weak and the ignorant.

+Knowledgable: After decades in the Star Tower of learning magic and having access to the largest amount of information in Eldris, it is no surprise that Soren is incredibly intelligent, almost to a terrifying degree. He knows how to maneuver his way through politics as well as control his magical abilities.

-Stubborn: Soren is very firm in his beliefs and rarely wavers from them. He is fearsome in a debate, not only because he will win, but because he will destroy the other with his temper. When tasked with leading a project, he can be unbearable to get along with.

-Arrogant: Soren was born into the Archeim family, an ancient family of mages stretching back for generations. Soren takes great pride not only in his lineage but in his abilities as a full mage of the Star Tower.

-Judgemental: Especially when it comes to witches, Soren is quick to judge those who are not training in the Star Tower. He is under the delusion that all other matters of fighting are vastly inferior. He also looks down upon those in the lower classes.

-Manipulative: The Game of Houses has been present in Soren’s life for as long as he could remember. He learned from the example of those around him, along with the ruthless attitude in Dawnstar. He is incredibly compelling and is willing to influence his most powerful enemies to bring them down.

C H A R A C T E R - B A C K G R O U N D

History:

Soren Archeim was born to Daereth and Giselle Archeim, the product of a loveless marriage between an Archmage and a niece of the High Lord and Lady of Clan Morvel. The boy’s affinity for magic showed earlier than most, at the young age of six. His father promptly enrolled Soren in the Star Tower when the Spark showed itself, using his position as Archmage to allow such a young child to join. Soren had no childhood to speak of, no time to rest, and certainly no time to play. His parents fought constantly, with his mother attempting to groom Soren into the perfect political mastermind and his father simply telling him to hit the books. He always had possession of a golden amulet in the shape of an owl, the symbol of his family. It was a powerful artefact that enhanced earth elemental magic, the element that Soren’s father specialized in.

The life of a young mage in training taught Soren more than he ever could have imagined. He learned quickly and tirelessly aimed to please his parents, knowing precisely how to do so. Daereth only needed Soren to excel in his training, while Giselle could be satisfied if he attended parties and wooed all the right ladies. This led to Soren becoming a master over the mind, able to determine what would make an individual bend to his will.

The combined personalities of his parents crafted Soren into a ruthless child feared by his fellow mages. His father was a man with no sympathy, often punishing unruly mages for his pleasure, and always tirelessly defending the ideals and traditions of the Tower. Soren’s mother, on the other hand, was a crafty woman who, though she wasn’t a mage herself, wielded a tremendous amount of power in her position. Soren had always been taught by his father to look down on his mother for not being a mage, but in truth, Soren had respect for the woman. As Soren began to prepare for his testing, however, he distanced further and further from his mother. At the time of Giselle’s death when Soren was 48, she had long since been abandoned by her husband and son. Soren found himself stoic and unaffected by the death. She meant nothing to him, after all, she was no mage.

Soren passed his test at age 60 with flying colors. He went on to become a full mage and adored every moment of the attention he now received, eyeing the position of Archmage for himself to take up one day. His father wasted no time in training Soren to be his successor and pressuring him to take a mage as a wife to continue to Archeim name. Soren thrived in the Star Tower as a researcher and a battle mage, gaining as much respect as those a century older than him. He was the very image of perfection in the Tower and seemed to excel at everything he touched.

Everything changed, however, when Soren learned of a rising order known as the Wardens. He claimed to want to join in order to take over and lead it himself, but his father was outraged and attacked his son. The two fought for what seemed like hours, but there was no contest. One was an Archmage and the other was a recently- formed Mage. At last Soren found himself near death and fled, using all of his energy to escape to the small town that the Wardens met up in. He was furious, having his entire life taken from him, but knew that the Wardens should not be allowed to venture into such dangerous territory without a powerful mage of the Tower among them. After joining the Wardens, Soren sent a series of letters to his father to attempt to patch things up. So far, no response has been sent.

Reason for joining the Wardens:

Soren has joined the Wardens in order to take charge and ensure that the major operation goes smoothly. He also wants to glory that would come from leading such an order. Though he’d hate to admit it, Soren is also curious, having rarely left the Tower to explore other regions.

Desired Connections:

-THE ELEMENTALIST (Lisselá De Sauveterre): Though the two were never close, Soren always knew of the older mage and her obsession with power. He’d mostly heard of the woman’s name from his mother, who was always warring in the Game of Houses alongside Lissela, a close ally. It was a shock to Soren to hear that Lissela left, but he was soon to follow. Little does he know that they both were headed in the same direction.

-THE ENCHANTER: The Enchanter has always been a useful ally for Soren’s father, the Archmage. Soren envies the man’s creations and sees him as an example he must strive to become. If there was one man who was skilled at research, it was The Enchanter, and Soren would do anything to surpass him in skill.

R O L E P L A Y - S A M P L E

I have already proven myself.

#accepted #fantasy rpg #fantasy rp #fantasy roleplay #medieval rp

[jackscnallen]

m , n , o & p from the ABC's

hopefully the readmore works this time!

M: Maternal

1. would they want a daughter or a son?

jackson doesn’t really care about the gender of the kids he has, as long as they’re healthy and happy.

2. how many children do they want?

i think jackson would want a big family, just like his!

3. would they be a good parent?

i think once he matures a little bit more, he would be a great parent.

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?

hm, i think he really likes the names tucker, cory, mitchell, lilliana, payton, and carolyn!

5. would they adopt?

he’s adopted, so of course!

N: Never Have I Ever 1. what would they never do?

he would never cheat on someone if he was in a relationship. he doesn’t understand why people do it, and if he ever felt like he was in love with someone else while with his current partner, he would break it off asap.

2. what have they never done that they want to do?

he wants to fly in a hot air balloon!

3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?

he can’t believe that people really participate in the show “naked & afraid” because it seems so outrageous. 

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?

jackson is a walking embarrassment, but one thing that sticks out would be the time when he knocked over an entire case of food at a buffet restaurant to get to the chocolate pudding. 

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

move back to chicago! he really thought once he left for los angeles, he would be there forever. 

O: Optimism 1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?

optimistic!

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?

he is, he tries to make everyone feel good and he likes to spread positivity when he can.

3. are they good at giving advice?

mhm, not really.

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?

lia, for sure! as well as marley and mig. oh, and charlie!

5. were they always optimistic?

yes, he always grew up with a good mindset and it has carried him into adulthood.

P: Personality 1. what is their best personality trait?

he loves, loves, loves attention and being the center of it, doesn't really mind doing dumbass things in order to achieve that, either. he likes being the cliche ~life of the party~ as well as a memorable host. in that sense, too, he's also extremely generous and likes treating his friends to a proper celebration!

2. what is their worst personality trait?

home boy would probably lose his head if it wasn't attached. he's fearless and doesn't mind taking risks, kind of loves it, actually, because it's a nice reminder he's alive and all. he's clearly impulsive and doesn't think shit through, which bites him in the ass most of the time. also, he's extremely cocky? a bit of a show-off for sure and definitely vain, loves charming the pants off of people.

3. what of their personality do others love?

he’s affectionate if he is around the right people. once he trusts someone, he is absolutely ride or die for them. he would do anything to make them happy, all they would ever have to do is ask. 

4. what of their personality do others envy?

people might get jealous that he’s like that hot dude your older brother was best friends with who smiled at you and laughed obligingly at your shitty jokes but then broke your heart because he called you “buddy”. 

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

he does his best to hide his insecurities but they are definitely there just waiting for the right moment to nudge him and make him feel bad about himself. but jackson does what he can to hold it together, to greet the word with a teasing smile and a sarcastic comment because that is how he does things best.

#( ❛ ░ ▌we get inspired // answered memes. #winniemcallister

[churroandchocolatte]

Character name: Molly Cunningham

Characters role: Contestant

gender: Female

race: Anthropomorphized bear

Personality:

Eye color: brown

build: Molly has a strong and rugged appearance, with a thick waist, prominent brows, nose, chin and mouth. She is average height with a strong bone structure  

hair color/style: curly blonde fur.

style of dress: Cool and confident. A creature of comfort, Molly goes for clothes that are easy and fuss-free.

strengths:

weaknesses: She’s a bit arrogant, bossy, demanding, and impulsive when she’s  focused on getting something done. .And can be a bit of a brat. That’s because she has an easy time playing that boss role — which is fine — but she’s young and it is easy to take it to the extreme. There′s a fine line between discussion and argument, and she crosses it frequently, sometimes not really caring whether she’s insulting someone or hurting their feelings until after the event.

critical flaw:

appearance movement:  She has good posture and a fast, confident stride.

behavior/actions:

backstory:

what makes your character unique:

Inner Journey

motivations:

what does the character really want:

what is the character most afraid of:

what is the characters mask that lets him/her hide from the world:

what would the character want to be remembered for:

identification factors

internal conflict:

external conflict:

meetings with other characters or pivotal scenes from this characters viewpoint:

character flaws and how they are introduced into the story:

Character name: Shere Khan

Character’s roll: Judge, future boss of the winning contestant

gender: male

race: anthropomorphized tiger

personality:

Eye color: yellow

build: Shere Khan is tall and strong with arching eyebrows over shiny eyes. His face very expressive, even as he attempts to remain restrained. He has a high forehead, a long straight nose, and a well-defined jawline.

hair color/style: not applicable

style of dress:

strengths:

weaknesses: Relentlessly ambitious and self serving, he’s a two-faced, criminal who has the willpower and success-envy to drive others into the ground if it gets him further up the pecking order and revels in scandal and gossip. He knows how to schmooze people, but he grit his teeth while smiling at them. He’s constantly on the hunt for a better option/party/job/partner/life and divides the world into people he envies vs. people he can control. Scary.

critical flaw: A relentless search for where the grass might be greener prevents him relaxing in his own backyard.

appearance movement: Appear swift, yet controlled and laid back in style with an almost unnoticeable limp.

behavior/actions:

backstory:

what makes your character unique:

Inner Journey

motivations:

what does the character really want:

what is the character most afraid of:

what is the characters mask that lets him/her hide from the world:

what would the character want to be remembered for:

identification factors

internal conflict:

external conflict:

meetings with other characters or pivotal scenes from this characters viewpoint:

character flaws and how they are introduced into the story:

.

Character name: pistol pete

Characters role: Contestant

gender: Female

race: Anthropomorphized cat

Personality:

Eye color: blue

build: She has a tall, slender, boy like body with strong legs, and a candid square-shaped face. Her eyelashes hang down, so she uses eyelash curlers.

hair color/style:

style of dress: Bohemian. Her style is always her own.

strengths:

weaknesses: A nonconformist, if you try to tell her what to do, she’ll act even more outrageous just to annoy you. She loves the attention it brings her. She thinks rules are for other people. She needs a lot of freedom, as she bores easily.

critical flaw:

appearance movement: She tends to move` in an easygoing trot, nice and easy and at her own pace.

behavior/actions:

backstory:

what makes your character unique:

Inner Journey

motivations:

what does the character really want:

what is the character most afraid of:

what is the characters mask that lets him/her hide from the world:

what would the character want to be remembered for:

identification factors

internal conflict:

external conflict:

meetings with other characters or pivotal scenes from this characters viewpoint:

character flaws and how they are introduced into the story:

Character name: Honker

Character’s roll: contestant

gender: male

race: anthropomorphized bird

personality:  

Eye color:

build: He has a slender physique, with pointy fingers, gaunt shoulders, and an oval face.

heir color/style:

style of dress: Classic, practical, and a little preppy.

strengths:

weaknesses: A pessimistic judging critic who focuses on the negative at all times, and is intent on pointing out his dour observations to others too. He fixates on being right and proving himself correct over petty, minor points of (non) interest that no one else cares about that directs twice as much negativity at himself as anyone else.

critical flaw:

appearance movement: His feet bend in toward each other as he walks, making him look both curious and awkward.

behavior/actions:

backstory:

what makes your character unique:

Inner Journey

motivations:

what does the character really want:

what is the character most afraid of:

what is the characters mask that lets him/her hide from the world:

what would the character want to be remembered for:

identification factors

internal conflict:

external conflict:

meetings with other characters or pivotal scenes from this characters viewpoint:

character flaws and how they are introduced into the story:

Character name: Goslyn

Character’s roll:  contestant

gender: female

race: anthropomorphized bird

personality:

Eye color:

build: Her body is stocky and athletic with strong legs and a warm, but penetrating face.(She also has nicely arched eyebrows, perfect for making a sarcastic aside to an audience.)

heir color/style: red hair

style of dress: dark minimalist clothing and accessories

strengths:

weaknesses: Hell hath no fury like a Goslyn scorned. She’s passionate and can be manipulative and fiery. For her, bad moods are a baseline. She can be very unforgiving. If you wrong her, she will make your life miserable. She can easily spiral down into darkness and negative feelings.She has a temper of epic proportions and when something gets under her skin, she has a tendency towards overreaction.

critical flaw:

appearance movement:

behavior/actions:

backstory:

what makes your character unique:

Inner Journey

motivations:

what does the character really want:

what is the character most afraid of:

what is the characters mask that lets him/her hide from the world:

what would the character want to be remembered for:

identification factors

internal conflict:

external conflict:

meetings with other characters or pivotal scenes from this characters viewpoint:

character flaws and how they are introduced into the story:

Character name: Tank

Character’s roll: contestant

gender: male

race: anthropomorphized bird

personality:

Eye color:

build : Small, squat, well-defined, almost chiseled features. He has a permanent frown on his face.

heir color/style: Wavy red hair

style of dress: neutral and ordinary

strengths:

weaknesses: Tank is the very essence of a controlling attention-seeking bully. He doesn’t really go with the flow, uses people for his own benefit and thrive on gossip and negativity. He can only lift himself up by tearing others down. He won’t think twice about using a family member to further his cause. His pride covers over an easily bruised ego and a deep sense of self-hatred. So he takes that hatred out on others. But beneath the bully beats the heart of a coward. Problem is, he’s even too cowardly to admit he’s a coward.

critical flaw:

appearance movement: he moves slowly and deliberately.

behavior/actions:

backstory:

what makes your character unique:

Inner Journey

motivations:

what does the character really want:

what is the character most afraid of:

what is the characters mask that lets him/her hide from the world:

what would the character want to be remembered for:

identification factors

internal conflict:

external conflict:

meetings with other characters or pivotal scenes from this characters viewpoint:

character flaws and how they are introduced into the story:

Character name: Kit

Character’s roll: contestant

gender: male

race: anthropomorphized bear

personality:  

Eye color:

build: Strong build, tall, athletic, and radiating charm and energy and a little chubby.

heir color/style: Thick, full brown hair

style of dress: Casual and comfortable clothing

Personality:

strengths:

weaknesses: Kit is well known for being blunt, and his bluntness borders on tasteless at times. On certain subjects he can be a know-it-all and on others he is easily bored. He can be self-righteous and often lacks good social etiquette. He doesn’t pick up cues when he’s being rude or offensive and he simply doesn’t care much about tact or subtlety. He loves thrills and sometimes that can become self-destructive, when the his impulse is to go big, and sometimes go too far.

critical flaw:

appearance movement: A graceful klutz. He bumps into things on occasion and has slight accidents but he has the grace and natural athleticism to prevent major harm.

behavior/actions:

backstory:

what makes your character unique:

Inner Journey

motivations:

what does the character really want:

what is the character most afraid of:

what is the characters mask that lets him/her hide from the world:

what would the character want to be remembered for:

identification factors

internal conflict:

external conflict:

meetings with other characters or pivotal scenes from this characters viewpoint:

character flaws and how they are introduced into the story:

Character name: webby

Character’s roll: contestant

gender: female

race: anthropomorphized duck

personality:

strengths:

weaknesses: (thanks largely to her upbringing i think)Webby is indecisive. She might take forever to make a decision because she’ll want to weigh every possible option. She tries to hold in her feelings if someone does something to upset her because she wants to avoid what could be an unpleasant conversation(and the loss of a friend). She prefers to keep the peace to the extent where she might abandon her own values. She wants to fit in and be liked, and she is easily influenced. She isn’t very good at keeping promises. She doesn’t mean to be malicious, but she isn’t very loyal to her word either.

critical flaw:

appearance movement:

behavior/actions:

backstory:

what makes your character unique:

Inner Journey

motivations:

what does the character really want:

what is the character most afraid of:

what is the characters mask that lets him/her hide from the world:

what would the character want to be remembered for:

identification factors

internal conflict:

external conflict:

meetings with other characters or pivotal scenes from this characters viewpoint:

character flaws and how they are introduced into the story:

Character name: Louie Character’s roll: contestant gender: male

race: anthropomorphized duck

personality:  

strengths:

weaknesses: Louie is possessive, materialistic, and sometimes vain. He might need to be forcefully re-taught the golden rule. He’s stubborn and can be overly self-indulgent and lazy.He can get way too into superficial things, whether it’s personal vanity over their looks or just an obsession with having all the newest and most expensive stuff on the market. He veers towards acting like a vain, idle flopsy incapable of making up his mind, procrastinating to the point of driving those around him to the very edge of their tolerance. He’s determined to keep his options open as long as possible, and then some, and like to play ‘devil’s advocate’ to any other poor soul trying to make a decision themselves. They can find this to be very annoying.

critical flaw:

appearance movement:

behavior/actions:

backstory:

what makes your character unique:

Inner Journey

motivations:

what does the character really want:

what is the character most afraid of:

what is the characters mask that lets him/her hide from the world:

what would the character want to be remembered for:

identification factors

internal conflict:

external conflict:

meetings with other characters or pivotal scenes from this characters viewpoint:

character flaws and how they are introduced into the story:

Character name: Huey Character’s roll: contestant gender: male

race: anthropomorphized duck

personality:

strengths:

weaknesses: nurturing and affectionate, but also extremely emotional and sensitive.Huey is moody, cautious and timid to the point where it’s very difficult to get him to move out of his comfort zone. Not only is Huey is very sensitive and easy to offend, he can be a jealous, controlling, emotional wreck who cannot bear to see people leave him behind or improve themselves without his input.

critical flaw:

appearance movement:

behavior/actions:

backstory:

what makes your character unique:

Inner Journey

motivations:

what does the character really want:

what is the character most afraid of:

what is the characters mask that lets him/her hide from the world:

what would the character want to be remembered for:

identification factors

internal conflict:

external conflict:

meetings with other characters or pivotal scenes from this characters viewpoint:

character flaws and how they are introduced into the story:

Character name: Dewie Character’s roll: contestant gender: male

race: anthropomorphized duck

personality:

strengths:

weaknesses: Dewie tends to be charming and lovable, but he often charms and loves himself the most. He demands attention and will try to be the center of it at all times.There’s no great way to put it, this kid is an attention addict. For Dewie, everything revolves around him. He’s probably never met a mirrorhe didn’t love! If he starts feeling ignored, he will throw a tantrum.

critical flaw:

appearance movement:

behavior/actions:

backstory:

what makes your character unique:

Inner Journey

motivations:

what does the character really want:

what is the character most afraid of:

what is the characters mask that lets him/her hide from the world:

what would the character want to be remembered for:

identification factors

internal conflict:

external conflict:

meetings with other characters or pivotal scenes from this characters viewpoint:

character flaws and how they are introduced into the story:

[lewepstein]

The War on Empathy

In Harper Lee’s iconic novel, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” Atticus Finch counsels his daughter Scout on the values of compassion and forgiveness.  He says to her, “You never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them.”  His words are at the heart of the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,”  the central tenet of most religions and the basis of our civil society.

Compassion is the quality that moves us to treat others kindly.  It is closely connected to empathy, that uniquely human ability to imagine what it would be like to stand in the shoes of others - to understand their plight and feel their pain.  It is the force within that impels us to treat family, friends, colleagues and even strangers in the manner that we would want to be treated ourselves.  It is also the quality most under assault during the tenure of Trump.

As a therapist, I see empathy as rooted in our earliest relationships - in the ways that we learned to love our caregivers and to internalize the values that they taught us by their words and deeds.  To love thy neighbor as thyself pre-supposes an open-heartedness that extends to the rest of humanity, a quality that also allows us to be kind and respectful toward our fellow citizens.  It doesn’t mean that we will never have conflicts or be called upon to make tough decisions about policies and people.  It does mean that whether in the corporate boardroom or the oval office we are aware of the impact that our actions have on the lives of others.

On the other side of the compassion and empathy spectrum there is pathological narcissism.  In this disordered personality the self is the province of grandiose, exaggerated preoccupation.  There is a grasping for unlimited success, power and “ specialness,” and especially admiration.  And there is a sense of entitlement so great, that there should be automatic compliance with one’s expectations.

The behavior of the pathologically narcissistic individual is often exploitative of others.  He will take advantage of others to achieve his ends.  At the core there is a lack of empathy, an unwillingness to recognize or identify with the feelings or needs of others.  The narcissist is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him.  He shows arrogant and haughty behaviors and attitudes and he will often experience criticism as an emotional injury.

It has probably become obvious by now that the  psychological profile I have just laid out is that of our current president.  What should still come as a shock is that the words in the last two paragraphs describing this pathology come directly from the Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorders published by the American Psychiatric Association.  They are the criteria used for diagnosing an individual with a “Narcissistic Personality Disorder.”  Any five of the characteristics listed would qualify an individual for such a diagnosis.  Donald Trump exhibits all nine.

Our president’s narcissistically driven lack of empathy has been highlighted in his recent comments to the family of an army sergeant who died in an ambush in Niger, in the line of duty.  Instead of offering comforting words, Trump is reported to have said, “Well I guess he knew what he was signing up for.”  But anyone who has followed Trump’s rise as a media personality has witnessed this type of callous disregard for human pain and suffering in the dramas enacted on “The Apprentice.”

Naomi Klein, social activist and author, in her call to action, “No Is Not Enough,” describes how The Apprentice delivered Trump’s “brand” as well as his  central sales pitch:      

 Trump  was saying to viewers that by unleashing your most selfish and ruthless side, you are creating jobs and fueling growth.  Don’t be nice, be a killer.  In later seasons, the underlying cruelty of the show grew even more sadistic.  The winning team lived in a luxurious mansion - drinking champagne in inflatable pool lounges, zipping off in limos to meet celebrities.  The losing team was deported to tents in the backyard nicknamed “Trump Trailer Park.”  The tent-dwellers, whom Trump gleefully deemed the “have-nots,” didn’t have electricity, ate off paper plates and slept to the sounds of howling dogs.  They would peek through a gap in the hedge to see what decadent wonders the “haves” were enjoying.

Trump took the ever-widening income and equality gap and turned it into a spectator sport.  In essence, the message was step over the losers and become a winner like him.

Historians looking back at this era may forever speculate about what combination of fear, outrage, prejudice and  alienation allowed people to vote for an emotionally disturbed man in such numbers - to mistake grandiosity for caring and cruelty for authenticity.  But the war on empathy did not begin with Donald Trump.  He is simply the latest politician to do battle against the forces of unity, compassion and love.

Demagogues and right-wing politicians always mobilize their followers against a scapegoat, usually a marginalized and powerless group such as immigrants or an ethnic minority that is easy to demonize.  The end result of this type of rhetoric can be lynchings, policies of ethnic cleansing and genocide.  Instead of promoting  empathy, an image is projected onto the group that fosters fear, envy and hatred.

Trump’s characterization of Mexicans immigrants as rapists and murderers is just the latest manifestation of this cynical tactic.  Reagan’s damning portrayal of African- American women as “Welfare Queens” who were ripping off the system or George H.W. Bush’s profiling of formerly incarcerated black men as “Willie Hortons,” who would be freed by liberals to kill again also played into the racial stereotype of African-Americans as marginal citizens and  criminals to be hated and feared.  Mitt Romney’s statement during a fundraiser, secretly caught on someone’s cell phone about the “makers and the takers,” revealed his underlying contempt for those in our society who owned little and were less fortunate and less ruthless than he had been.

Many of the party bosses of the modern Democratic party are no less cynical than their Republican counterparts.  While wrapping themselves in the mantle of empathy and compassion and portraying themselves as the representatives of the disenfranchised - African- Americans, the LBGTQ community, women and Latinos - their actual policy positions when in power belie their soaring rhetoric.  Working people have learned in the last fifty years that most Democrats are a tepid ally at best and will almost always abandon their interests in favor of the party’s wealthier, urban, corporate elites.

There was a reason beyond racism and sexism why Trump had such an appeal to rural and small town, white, working class Americans.  After generations of neglect and policy positions that ignored the needs of small town and rural working class whites, it was difficult for Hillary Clinton and other Democrats to make the argument that they felt their pain or had their backs.

Even greater than the undercurrent of racism, xenophobia and classism in the current war on empathy is the backlash against the gains that women have made since the modern feminist movement began in the 1960s.  It is not insignificant that empathy and compassion are traits that distinctly fall on the feminine side of our traditional  gender roles.  Terry Real, the author of numerous books on patriarchy and gender stated the following in a recent article:  

So here’s a sobering thought: suppose Trump was elected not despite his offensive, misogynous behaviors but, at least in part because of them….What we are witnessing is a reassertion of masculinity’s most difficult and harmful traits,aggression, narcissism, sexual assaultiveness, grandiosity and contempt.  Real quotes the 2016 Presidential Gender Watch Report which summarizes several surveys this way: “Trump supporters are much more likely than Clinton voters to say that men and women should ‘stick to the roles for which they are naturally suited,’ that society has become too soft and feminine, and that society seems to ‘punish’ men just for acting like men.’”  Real goes onto say,” I want men to hold fast to those elements that are good and right about the traditional male role - courage, loyalty, competence - but men also deserve to have access to emotion, particularly the vulnerable emotions that connect us to one another.”

On the feminine side of the empathy quagmire, it is crucial for women to finally get it that it is not their job to protect men from their disowned fragility. I have read a number of quotes from  women who voted for Trump in which they excused his boasts about pussy-grabbing and other assaultive behaviors by rationalizing that “he’s really a good, caring man underneath.”  This to me is the same misplaced empathy that I have witnessed  in my office by wives who have brainwashed themselves into believing that their abusive husbands really loved them, when the evidence they were presenting should have convinced them to get out of that relationship immediately.

Right- wing pundits and media personalities such as Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity have also fanned the flames of a resurgent patriarchy by characterizing  women fighting for their rights as “feminazis,” once again demonizing  a vulnerable group and promoting hatred in place of the understanding and compassion that should be our guiding light.

In our nation’s history, empathy has not always been under attack as it is today.  The fact that the economic crisis of the 1930s had a title: “The Great Depression,”  provided a bulwark against the perception that poverty was a personal failure.  There was no moral condemnation when a family was left homeless or a breadwinner was selling apples on the street because he had lost his job - no Trump Trailer Park as a dumping place where the “haves” could direct their derision toward the shamed “have-nots.”  As with the World War that arose in the following decade, there was some shared understanding that we were all in this together - at least if you weren’t dark-skinned or a Japanese American - and that making sacrifices for one’s fellow citizens was a virtue to be extolled.

If the political leaders who we elect represent some aspect of who we are as a people then we should probably label Donald Trump our “Narcissist in Chief.”  His singularly selfish ethic of “looking out for number one” to the exclusion of compassionately looking out for others is the hallmark of his leadership.  It also reflects back to what is deeply flawed about our society.

What was once something called the “common good”-  appointments and funding that empowered government departments like the Environmental Protective Agency to safeguard our drinking water from toxic and carcinogenic substances has been sold off  to the highest corporate bidder.  But there is also a large segment of our working class population that is unwilling to give up what they see as their right to purchase and sell weapons of mass  destruction - in essence their adult toys called assault weapons - even at the cost of the on-going slaughter of school children and other fellow citizens.  The leader sets the standard by placing his personal economic needs and self-aggrandizing political image ahead of the common good, and this, in turn, validates and promotes a culture of narcissism and self-indulgence in the society at large.

In the long view of history regimes come and go and societies periodically regress into the dark ages of nationalism and authoritarian rule.  But no empire, nation or leader has been able to withstand the forces of progress for long.  Disenfranchised social classes will continue to struggle to bring about a more equitable redistribution of our planet’s wealth and fossil fuels will inevitably be replaced by cleaner forms of energy - hopefully before we create more environmental disasters.  

What is less clear to me is the answer to the question: What will be the outcome of the war on empathy?   Will the forces of  patriarchy, racism, and narrow self-interest continue to degrade our relationships with one another?   Will the reflexively fear-based parts of us continue to be exploited by leaders so that we as a society periodically lose our moral center?  If so, we will continue to elevate leaders who are shallow, opportunistic reflections of our narcissistic selves.     

We continually need to relearn the lesson that a society is only as advanced as the political and social consciousness of its citizens.  It would be difficult for any student of history to deny that the “Realpolitics” of the last hundred years based on our many “isms” - communism, state capitalism, rule by plutocrats or by patriarchal religious heads has only produced more repressive, authoritarian regimes and human suffering.

If there is a next American or world revolution it will only bring about lasting change when those promoting the war on empathy have been drowned out by a vast chorus of people who are uncompromising in their shared values of empathy and compassion.  The “new man” and “new woman” will need to have evolved in ways that will allow them to create the new society. This new, vocal majority will never allow itself to be divided by fears and prejudices about the so called “others” because they will have evolved to the point of understanding that the so called “others” are simply manifestations of themselves in another era or context.  When this type of change occurs, and the global mind reaches some kind of critical mass, a fierce and compassionate humanism will replace the era of narcissism.  Only then will we be ready to create the type of world in which we would all want to live.

[reluming]

Dear Yuletide author

Hi! I’m so happy that you’re writing for me! I’m mapped on AO3, and I’m very excited to read whatever you come up with – please don’t feel like you have to adhere to any of this letter, as long as you avoid my DNWs!

To start with, here are some of my general likes and dislikes!

I read slash, femslash, het, and gen. I love poly relationships. I love fluff, I love angst, I love porn – porn without plot and porn with plot. I love slice of life, and fics with heaps of domesticity. I love character studies.

I prefer happy endings, but bittersweet/sad ones are okay too.

Things I love in porn:

Pegging

D/s

Femdom

Bondage

Spanking/caning/corporal punishment

Dirty talk

Praise kink

Exhibitionism/public sex

Humiliation

Knifeplay

Double penetration

Choking

Crossdressing

Characters being super into giving oral sex

DNWs:

Rape/non-con (dub con is okay!)

A/B/O

Non-canon character death

Onto fandom-specific stuff!

The Bold Type

Requested characters: Any

What’s the canon about? A contemporary TV show featuring three young women who are best friends, working for a fashion magazine in New York and being there for each other through various career and relationship ups and downs. There’s one season with 10 episodes out so far, and it’s been renewed for two more seasons!

What I love about the canon: I love every character on this show! I love the fun and upbeat vibe, the awesome, flawed, beautifully strong women who are so supportive of each other. The focus on the friendship between the three main characters is the best thing! Every time they say “I love you” to each other my heart grows three sizes. 💞 I love how we see them being ambitious and going for their dreams, taking risks and fucking up and having to learn how to deal with their mistakes. I find it very comforting and inspiring at the same time, watching them being confident and amazing and human. People who don’t always get things right and who don’t always know what they’re doing. I enjoy watching them figure things out: Kat especially, who keeps changing her mind and doubting her choices and not really understanding what it is she wants.

Prompts:

Gen friendship fic with Sutton, Kat, and Jane! I could happily read about them doing something mundane and silly together (like getting froyo, or just hanging out in the apartment on a typical night). What were their first impressions of each other? How did they become friends? When did they agree to move in together and what was apartment-hunting like? What was it like the first night they moved in, did they all end up sleeping in the same bed talking till late? Did it take them some time to get used to living together, and was there a bit of friction at the beginning?

I would also be overjoyed to read anything sexual and/or romantic between Sutton, Kat, and Jane, in any combination! I’d be particularly interested in some kind of scenario where Kat is trying to figure out whether she’s really into women and she sleeps with both of her friends. At the same time. :’) Maybe during that brief time in the show when they’re all single?

Anything that explores what a wonderful woman and mentor and boss Jacqueline Carlyle is. How did she get here? Tell me about her moments of failure and heartbreak, her mistakes and regrets, her moments of triumph and breakthroughs! What does she think when she looks at Jane, especially, who she must see so much of herself in? That MOMENT at the end of S1 when Jane and Jacqueline are staring at each other while they go through their revolving doors and they’re both dressed in red and they’re mirrors of each other!! I’M SO HERE FOR MORE OF THAT CONTENT.

Sutton!! MY PURE RAY OF SUNSHINE. Five fashion moments in Sutton’s life she’ll remember forever? Memories she associates with a particular blouse, or scarf, or bracelet, or coat? (Btw, I prefer Sutton/Alex to Sutton/Richard, although I don’t mind Sutton/Richard. I really love Sutton and Alex’s dynamic and would even appreciate a friendship fic about them!)

One thing I feel like the show didn’t really give me was how JANE got here. Like, clearly writing for Scarlet was always her dream, but I just wanna know more about her motivations and her journey as a writer growing up!

I’d also be happy with a Jane/Ryan fic, they're super cute together! I would love to read about Jane exploring more kinky things with Ryan tbh? Like when Jane was SO OUTRAGED about the wax play thing I just thought maybe she should have the opportunity to try something similar with him! But I’d prefer if Jane/Ryan wasn’t the sole focus of the fic; if there was some focus on Jane & Sutton & Kat’s friendship as well, that would be fab.

Kat/Adena: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I would be extremely happy to read fic about them, post-series, during the series, whatever. Missing scenes, conversations and kisses and dreams. What happens in Peru? Future!fic! ANYTHING

Actually future!fic about where any of these characters are in five or ten or twenty years’ time would be very welcome!

Introspective fic about how Kat feels about her identity and how that’s evolved over the course of S1

Backstory about Adena and the countries she’s travelled to and the women she’s fallen in love with. What’s the story with Coco? Why isn’t it working out? What was it like, back when it did work?

Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu

Requested characters: Kikuhiko, Miyokichi, Sukeroku

What’s the canon about? An anime (complete, two seasons, 25 episodes in total). Focuses on the art of rakugo, a centuries-old tradition of comic storytelling in Japan. A gangster, fresh out of prison, wants to become the apprentice of an old rakugo master after seeing the master perform in prison. From this, the story of the old rakugo master unfolds, and we learn about two boys who become rakugo apprentices when they’re little, and the friendship that grows between them.

What I love about the canon: This anime!! I was not expecting it to make me feel SO MANY FEELINGS. I love the historical setting, I love the STUNNING use of the unreliable narrator, I love the careful and slow development of Kikuhiko and Sukeroku’s friendship from childhood to adulthood; the way they’re such striking opposites at first glance, but there’s something at the core of them that’s the same. The heady mix of envy and love and bitterness that pulls Kikuhiko to Sukeroku always; the things left unsaid. How Miyokichi’s presence in their lives disrupts some things and catalyses others. The way Miyokichi’s choices have been limited because she’s a woman, and Kikuhiko and Sukeroku are both such terrible assholes in their own ways, but she can’t help being pulled into their orbit. I love the feeling of transience in this anime, of something always slipping away from your grasp, of history crumbling away beneath your fingertips; but there’s a gorgeous sense of continuity too. Beautiful things are fleeting and immortal at the same time. They are preserved – diluted, sometimes; changing and evolving. But still preserved, in some way.

Prompts:

I want fic that explores their complicated and tangled relationship in all its glory. My dearest wish is for them to be all reunited properly in the afterlife, for them to finally sort out their feelings, and to be a happy OT3.

Or a canon AU where events went differently and they lived and raised Konatsu together and were messy but happy, somehow.

I could see Kikuhiko as gay or bi, but no matter what, I feel like his feelings for Miyokichi are fascinating and would be interesting to explore in fic either way; if it’s not that he’s sexually attracted to her, what is it?

I would love something that deals with Kikuhiko’s repression of his sexuality, a fic where he was never able to let himself acknowledge his feelings for Sukeroku while he was alive. But equally I’d love a fic where he did acknowledge those feelings and those feelings were requited and they did something about it, once or twice or many times. But please don’t sideline Miyokichi, whatever you do!

If you want to make me really sad, that’s okay too! Give me Kikuhiko mourning the two people he cared about most in his life and struggling always with their ghosts. I’d be very interested to see something that just falls on the side of horror, or is at least spooky and supernatural in some way, based on the shinigami stuff and those S2 OPs where they coloured Sukeroku’s eyes red. I loved the eerie vibe of all that, so please feel free to run with it! Weird AUs featuring undead!Sukeroku and Miyokichi would be fantastic.

I am particularly into Kikuhiko crossdressing, and I’d love to read about a Kikuhiko whose relationship with gender is complex and hard to define. That scene where he’s in drag and Miyokichi does his makeup is absolutely gorgeous and one of my favourite scenes in the show and if you could do something with that I’d be eternally grateful. I’d be really happy with nb/genderqueer/trans interpretations of Kikuhiko! And if he could talk about his gender feelings with Miyokichi that would be A+++

OR if you just want to write me a Miyokichi-centric fic exploring ANYTHING about her whatsoever I would be ecstatic, I love her to pieces and would dearly love to read some backstory, introspection, character study, anything. 

Killjoys

Requested characters: Aneela, Delle Seyah Kendry

What’s the canon about? Sci-fi TV show with three seasons (10 episodes each). Follows a trio of bounty hunters through hijinks and mysteries. 

What I love about the canon: I love how fun this show is and how despite the gritty sci-fi settings and the dark look of the show it’s pretty much the OPPOSITE of grimdark? It’s such a joyful and optimistic show and it’s bursting with humour. It doesn’t take itself seriously but it loves its characters and it loves its audience; all the character interactions are just wonderful and the arcs are all fantastic and it always manages to give me exactly what I want. It’s SO satisfying! And SO many people of colour in the foreground and the background!! That’s such a rare and beautiful thing in this genre and I’m so grateful. Plus, so many of those characters of colour are queer too!!

Prompts:

So I shipped Dutch/Delle Seyah DESPERATELY in the first two seasons, and I still do! But oh man, I love Aneela/Delle Seyah, how they’re SO PERFECTLY MATCHED and on equal footing. EVIL SPACE LESBIAN QUEENS!! I love the united front they present, I love how quickly they get into each other’s heads and hearts and develop this fierce and steadfast loyalty towards each other.

So, while I didn’t request Dutch as one of my characters, I’d love a fic that compares Delle Seyah’s feelings for Dutch and for Aneela. Like, obviously Delle Seyah was physically attracted to Dutch and since Dutch and Aneela look the same, there’s that element there from the beginning. Is that weird for Delle Seyah, considering how different Dutch and Aneela are otherwise? What differences between Dutch and Aneela are the most significant to Delle Seyah, and what similarities does she notice, beside the physical? What is it that makes Delle Seyah fall in love with Aneela, as opposed to whatever it was she felt for Dutch? Is she still attracted to Dutch at the end of S3?

It seems like neither Aneela or Delle Seyah have ever felt like this about anybody, so I’d just love any sort of fic dealing with how either/both of them process these emotions!! Is it scary for them? Exciting? How anxious does it make them? What are they most worried about?

I wouldn’t mind a fic about Aneela and Delle Seyah just being evil queens and unleashing themselves on the universe together while luxuriating in their power and having the most passionate, wild sex as they think/talk about all the evil deeds they’ve accomplished!

Honestly uhhh any sort of porn about them would be SO welcome, I’m shallow and they’re beautiful and they clearly seem like they have a lot of fun in bed!

Maybe there’s something you can play with about the green and mind-melding here? I don’t know, just an idea I’m throwing out there! :D

“Be careful” / “Be brutal” might just one of my favourite dialogue exchanges in any piece of fiction ever 💖 I just love their dynamic and I need more of it, so I’d be interested to read anything you’d like to write about them!

The Handmaiden

Requested characters: Sook-hee, Hideko

(I’m basically copy & pasting from my letter last year because I still want the same things!)

What’s the canon about? A 3-hour long movie; Korean adaptation of Sarah Waters’ Fingersmith. A conwoman falls in love with her female mark!

What I love about the canon: It’s such a beautiful gay romance with brilliant twists and the two female leads are SO endearing in their own ways; the triumph of the women over the horrible men in their lives, and in particular the triumph of Hideko over the trauma she’s experienced, is really moving and buoyant to watch. The movie is also just lush with careful detail and a dazzling experience from start to finish.

Prompts:

I’d love anything about Hideko and Sook-hee, set during or after the film.

If it’s set during the film, I’d really love something from Hideko’s POV, because I feel like her thoughts are much more opaque in the film. I’d like to read about how she feels about her life before Sook-hee appears, what her first impressions of Sook-hee are, and the journey of her falling in love with Sook-hee. (I don’t want explicit detail about the abuse that Hideko has suffered: the level of detail that the film goes into is fine, but nothing beyond that, please!)

Missing scenes from the movie would be SO welcome! I can’t get enough of their precious interactions and how they always feel so honest somehow, even if they’re both hiding behind secrets and lies at first?

After the movie: where do they go, what do they do? Something that takes place immediately afterwards, or something that takes place years in the future – even something that looks at them being old and grey together, omg, that would make my heart melt!

I could totally be into a more plotty kind of fic that shows them running more cons together! Equally, I would be SO here for simple, slice-of-life stuff.

Something that explores Hideko and Sook-hee’s relationship with kink after the movie would be WONDERFUL. How does Hideko feel about kink after the abuse she’s suffered? Does she want to be kinky with Sook-hee, but have really complicated feelings about it? The mutuality and symmetry of their sex scenes in the movie is what strikes me, how the focus is on mirroring each other, doing the same acts together. But I could see them trying out different things as they become more comfortable and settle into their relationship. Like, the ending scene with Hideko reclaiming for her own pleasure the bells that were once used to abuse her – that scene is so lovely and anything in this vein would be great!

Thanks for stopping by! Happy Yuletide, and I can’t wait to read your creation! <3

#yuletide 2017 #yuletide #dear author