#the gobble chicken song

[error-no-name-located-retrying]

#anonymous #tally hall #mucka blucka #songy song #the gobble chicken song #break it down #poll #polls #196

[cloveroctobers]

Hello! I was thinking Carmen and black!reader who’s heavily pregnant and is like days away from giving birth. When her water breaks she has a home birth with her doula (who’s her best friend) and Carmy coaching her through the painful experience: kissing her forehead as she cries in pain.

ꨄ HOW CARMY IS DURING LABOR! ꨄ

A/N: decided to do these in my form of HCs since i’m kinda in a low mood and hopeful that Carmy being attentive to reader will lift it up some. Hope you don’t mind. Jeremy’s a dad so why not try to picture carmy as a dad too! Also know the bare minimum when it comes to labor so don’t slander me too much nurses/doctors/people in the medical field (not you Claire!) who may read this 😬

WARNINGS: mentions of the fear of parenthood & bodily fluids.

˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚

when carmy found out Sasha was pregnant, he definitely almost fell to his knees—almost like it didn’t take two to tango but anxiety is not a nice person.

He wanted to panic but he also knew he didn’t want Sasha to take his response the wrong way.

Sasha was on the side of wanting a family some day and she wasn’t “getting any younger,” but it definitely became as a surprise since Sasha and Carmy weren’t purposely trying to get pregnant.

Some may argue against that but mind your business!

There was so much going on but sometimes timing had a mind of its own andddd…shit happens!

Sasha and Carmy were having a baby and Sasha felt like she should have seen the signs especially having a best friend that’s a doula

and a mother on FaceTime questioning when her period was coming around.

Basically she’s been bloated as hell and her mother, always the vocal woman, was going to say something and did!

Was Sasha here for the slight body shaming…no? But her mother’s questions did bring up some thoughts, so she ended up purchasing a test or two after work.

It took some time for her to break the news to carmy, (about a week it took but he didn’t miss the off energy Sasha was putting out—she was snappy and carmy wasn’t in the mood to argue, not with her) expecting the conversation to be awkward and full of uncertainty thanks to childhood trauma that bled into his adulthood you know?

When he gained sound back into his ear and his vision back, he stuttered a bit as he asked Sasha to repeat what she just said to him while he’s messing around with some jeans in the kitchen.

“Uh…what-what did you say? Because if I heard you right, that’s not a funny joke to throw on me.”

“Well I’m not joking, bear. We’re having a baby.” Sasha gently said, getting off the couch with the hidden pregnancy test behind one of the pillows.

Carmy felt like his vision was leaving again as he held the two tests with shaky hands, blinking several times, he exhaled before pulling Sasha into his arms. “Shit, we’re gonna be somebody’s parents.”

“Correction: Fine ass parents. How’re you feeling?”

“Scared as hell, honestly.” “Me too.”

Sasha hugged him tighter.

The first half of the trimester? Complete trash! that Sasha had to resort to working from home after using some sick days being so ill she could barely keep her body upright

She also didn’t admit to the pregnancy to everyone else (even her own family) until it was deemed safe in the second trimester.

Looking back, it all seemed so simple compared to now.

Sasha was ready to pop yet she still had some energy left, “Lookin' for the hoochie daddies…”

“Where they at?” Her best friend and doula, Chantelle echoed in the living room while Sasha was dancing in the kitchen and gobbling down a grilled chicken Cesar salad.

Her biggest craving in the final stages of her pregnancy.

One squat too low and Sasha felt a stabbing cramp that had her gripping the counter, sucking air between her teeth.

“Hey, how’re we feeling?”

“Yup, baby boy just isn’t feeling this song, he’s just like his damn daddy already.” Sasha tried to laugh off as she continued hunched over the counter.

Chantelle wasn’t buying that as she pushed her notebooks and paper work to the side then made her way over to Sasha.

Her hands immediately went to Sasha’s stomach, something Sasha had to get used to—with Chantelle being so touchy feely. Guess it was a good thing that physical touch was her love language or whatever allowing her to apply just that in her profession but Chantelle hardly asked for permission lately.

She took it upon herself to figure out what maybe going on physically since Sasha wasn’t as vocal like everyone else in her family tended to be.

Sasha guessed she should have been thankful for Chantelle’s eager ways since she was the one who pushed Sasha to get tested for fibroids.

She was known for having painful periods going through her teenage years just to learn she had cysts at sixteen that had to be surgically removed

then to end up with hereditary fibroids right around the time she found out she was pregnant!

Wasn’t off to a great start, honestly.

Thankfully her pregnancy’s been pretty healthy given the circumstances and Chantelle attended the routine appointments with both Sasha and Carmy.

That gave them both a peace of mind.

Chantelle was phenomenal at what she does.

Sasha was days away from her due date but Chantelle could sense labor was on its way soon. It’s what she’s trained for and it was written in her eyes as she felt around Sasha’s swollen belly.

“Let’s sit you down, watch a show.” Chantelle offered, reaching to disconnect her phone from Bluetooth and ready to lead Sasha over to the couch so she could monitor these cramps.

Sasha was uncomfortable enough not to argue and slowly waddled to the couch, letting out a sigh as she slouched on the couch a bit, hoping to stretch her back a bit but winced after awhile of trying to sit up straight.

Chantelle was secretly sending texts to Carmy, giving him a heads up after more signs of cramps (which would soon be contractions) were making their way around and getting stronger each time.

The bear had its grand opening last year in late spring but it didn’t seem like business was going to slow down anytime soon…however carmy had to learn balance between the bear and having a family.

Which also caused friction from time to time between Sasha and Carmy but he tried harder to be better for the baby and the sake of their relationship

The last text Chantelle sent Carmy, he felt his heart race and knew now was the time. He basically cracked the screen of his phone at the news and had to gather himself, gaining the attention of his team.

Everyone was understanding and encouraging, even Richie!

but it was sugar who got his feet out the door.

“You’ll be alright, I know it. Slow and steady, eyes on the right now and not the what if’s, bear. We’ll be right here and I love you. Now go make me an aunt.” Sugar was all delicate smiles as she squeezed her baby brother’s shoulders.

She just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl a week before Christmas and Carmy was still trying to get his head wrapped around that.

He never thought he would be having a baby around the same time as his sister!

He never thought he would have a solid family. Yet Sasha changed everything for him and so would this baby.

Sasha’s a moaning mess, down on her knees in a praying motion which she used to joke about how her own father often did this when he got bad migraines.

Guess she was praying herself now to get through this!

She didn’t care to have this filmed like her mother originally wanted—this was a sacred moment and also horrifying due to a flashback of a birthing video she saw in health class years ago and watched a few story times on YouTube just to remind herself why birth scared tf out of her!

She wouldn’t have wanted anyone in the delivery room with her if she had a hospital birth.

She didn’t want people to see her like that but this isn’t something carmy wanted to miss.

He heard his own father missed his birth and Carmy didn’t want to bring that curse down to his child.

It was a shitty feeling to have and he discussed it in meetings but he couldn’t shake the feeling.

Would he be a good enough father when he didn’t know the first thing about healthy love?

He felt like he was doing okay with Sash but that didn’t mean those feelings completely went away. The self-doubt when it came to relationships with other people was such a bitch.

He could try to get through those issues but he knew it would probably always be there.

Yet he did the one thing Mr. Berzatto couldnt, he showed up, pressing a palm into the stretch of Sasha’s lower back, her immediately exhaling at his touch.

“I’m here, Sash-quatch.” Carmy whispered to Sasha who just nodded her head.

His bright blues went to Chantelle who says, “she’s handling herself very well, contractions are now four minutes apart. Pressing into her back like that helps relieve the pressure but when that next one hits, we’re gonna get her up onto her feet since she’s been down in that position for awhile now.”

“Um, o-okay. Yeah, I can do that.”

“You’re gonna be swell, just be in tune with her.” Chantelle encourages in all her bohemian glory as she double checks on her supplies for both mother and child.

Carmy takes a seat on the bed, leaning forward in the opposite direction as he presses both hands into Sasha’s lower back, “how we doing?”

She groans, slightly lifting her head as Carmy peeked at her from underneath his arm, “I’m so glad that I got this pixie cut three months into this shit, otherwise my kitchen would look crazy right now.”

Carmy’s lips twitched at that, eyes briefly scanning over her shortened hair, “well I’d think you’d still be pretty regardless…considering that you’re bringing a life into the world with us.”

“Oh,” she deeply exhales, “just wait until I shit myself.”

“What?” Genuine concern passed over Carmy’s features, “thats a thing?”

“Yes…guess you didn’t get too far into those books you were deep diving into huh?”

Carmy had his twenty minute naps to blame for that. Yes he brought a book or three on pregnancy and tried to save at least five minutes on his smoke breaks to read something.

He preferred that than the graphic YouTube videos Sasha sent, respectfully.

“Well, hopefully that’s not the case with you but…I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

“Famous last words.” Sasha joked just as Chantelle came over to encourage Carmy to get Sasha onto her feet.

Carmy kept assisting Sasha through the pressure, holding her belly from behind as they rocked side to side slowly. He wasn’t sure what exactly this did for the baby but it seemed to help Sasha and that’s what mattered to Carmy.

He tried his best to keep his cool but his heart rate definitely spiked up when Chantelle signaled minutes later that now was the time to get Sasha onto their bed.

Carmy tries to be Sasha’s security blanket although she’s constantly reminding him to breathe himself, head pressing into Carmy’s jaw as he’s glued right to her side while Chantelle checks how things are going down below.

“Yes! There’s a head full of hair I’m seeing. You’re ready, girl.” Chantelle says while she nods her head to carmy.

He turns to the item on his right, taking the rag from the bowl of water to squeeze out before wiping Sasha’s drenched forehead then allowing it to rest against her skin.

“Okay, here we go, Sash.” Carmy held his hand out for the woman to grasp while slipping another arm underneath her shoulders.

Chantelle helped Sasha get into position down below as she provides gentle words of encouragement while instructing her and Reminding her how to push and let them know when she was ready.

Best decision Sasha made having her best friend be her doula since she learned that her own mother had a crap doctor that she argued with when she gave birth to her.

Sasha didn’t want that experience at all.

The comfort of being in your own bed, lavender essential oil in the air, Solange playing in the background, and the guidance of Chantelle was all Sasha could ask for.

Carmy was just as patient as Chantelle, not minding at all how tight Sasha squeezed the nerves out of his hand

taking her pain to ease her’s was a win in his eyes.

And he’ll just pop some ibuprofen along with some ice later, no big deal.

“You got this, Sash. You’re almost there, just a few more like Telly said.” Carmy says as Sasha lays exhausted and slumped against his arm.

“It’s just us?”

“Just us three against the world, yeah. You just gotta get him there, you’re so close. You’re doing so well.” Carmy leans over to place a kiss to the corner of her head before sending one tap to her forehead, four taps to her nose, and three to her lips.

Which brought a smile to her lips along with the motivation to give two more big pushes that signaled a cry of welcome from their new bundle of joy.

Tears are thick in Carmy’s throat as Chantelle tends to their baby, cleaning him up.

“We did it,” Sasha croaks up at Carmy who breathes out a smile as he almost slides off the bed onto his knees himself, arms still locked around Sasha.

“He’s Ah, Sash. He’s perfect.” Carmy laughs a bit, moving his eyes away from what he could see of his child as he places a peck to Sasha’s lips.

“Here’s your parents little one,” Chantelle coos after checking him over for awhile as she hands over the baby to Sasha who instantly cradles him to her chest.

Carmy’s running his free hand through his tangled and oily hair as he’s in complete awe staring at the person he helped create.

This feeling was nothing he could have imagined.

When he held his niece, Abigail, he already knew he was going to love her but having his own child??

The best part of his heart was now on the outside in the arms of a woman he loved.

Baby berzatto kept his midnight blues locked on Sasha who was already in love but that didn’t stop him from reaching out to cup Carmy’s finger and held on.

Carmy brings his little hand up to his lips to kiss it, “I see you buddy, happy birthday.”

His eyes are glossy with tears as Sasha shifts her smile from baby berzatto to Carmy, seeing the adoration in his eyes.

“Look what we did…but he looks like me.”

“Yeah thank goodness for that, but he’s got my eyes and nose though.”

“Great, which means I’m going to be further jumpscared at night with his diaper changes.”

Carmy snorts with a roll of his eyes, “Ah, whatever, I’ll take his shit more than yours.”

“Did I?” Sasha’s craning her neck to see but Carmy is pressing his fingertips into the side of her shoulder to ease her.

Chantelle stands at the foot of the bed as she’s wiping her hands, “nope! Just some tearing but we’ll get you both to the hospital in a few. Just take this moment in you two.”

Carmy’s arm definitely fell asleep awhile ago underneath Sasha but with a roll of his wrist from time to time, he could deal with it.

He was just in awe watching baby berzatto who kept drifting from having his round midnight eyes wide open to fighting sleep.

“So…what now?” Carmy asks.

There’s that feeling, always waiting for the other shoe to drop but Sasha shushes him, slowly lifting up, alarming carmy who’s ready to push her back down to rest, “hey, what’re doing—

“You said what’s next? Hold our son: Bennett “Benny” Michael Berzatto.”

Carmy swallows the lump in his throat hearing the name out loud, “I—I don’t know.”

“He’s not letting go of you anyways so you might as well.”

This much was true, Benny didn’t seem to be letting go any time soon.

So Carmy carefully scooped the boy into his arms, Benny’s eyes quickly opening as he realized he was in his other parent’s arms and his grin was all too familiar before he closed his eyes again, squeezing Carmy’s finger tighter.

A kiss was placed onto Benny’s forehead and Carmy couldn’t help but to inhale his scent knowing he wasn’t letting go either.

Bennett “Benny” Michael Berzatto born June 12th 2024 at 6:42pm weighing in at 6lbs 7 oz and that’s the day Carmy’s life truly began to feel worth something.

And when he turned back to the tired woman who gave him the gift of Benny he couldn’t help but to thank her as she repeated 1-4-3 taps upon his face.

His lips kissed the pad of her finger in the end while he held their sleeping child.

A meaningful life suddenly became much more important than the constant waiting for something terrible to fall onto Carmy’s plate.

˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚ ˚ʚꨄɞ˚

Continue along with my summer anthology prompts here.

#requested #the bear #the bear s2 #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto #Carmen berzatto x black! reader #carmy berzatto x black! reader #sugar berzatto #natalie berzatto #carmy x Natalie #queued

[harwinsgirl]

The ABC’s of Loving Harwin

E is for Egg

(Hello! This is a series of drabbles that I’m starting to help keep me writing while allowing me to not get burnt out working on some of my longer fics. The tradition in this story is based off of cascaróns, which is a sweet Mexican tradition that I’ve found interesting ever since I was a little girl!)

For the past three nights, you and the other servant girls had stayed up until the early hours of the morning working on various tasks related to the Princess’s upcoming wedding to Laenor Velaryon. Whether that was creating flower arrangements, trimming candle wicks, or bustling about the kitchens, it was an all hands on deck type of event. You were tasked with one of the more tedious chores, which was hollowing out and cleaning chicken eggs.

Despite the laborious handiwork, it wasn’t a job you minded being asked to do. It had become a much loved tradition at weddings in Westeros; young maidens would crack a decorated egg over the head of their beloved or an eligible lord that they fancied. You had dyed the eggs red in berry soaked water and were currently focused on etching intricate designs on their shiny exteriors. Carefully, each egg was filled with tiny shreds of colorful ribbons and paper. You had lost count, but dozens and dozens of eggs had been carefully placed in woven baskets, plenty for Princess Rhaenyra’s guests to choose from.

The princess and her betrothed had requested a small ceremony, although their celebration was anything but. Everyone had crammed into the dining hall of the Red Keep for a delicious meal and young couples sprang up between the tables, dancing and filling the air with laughter. You preoccupied yourself with fiddling with the sleeves on your dress, attempting to cover up some of the dye that still marred your skin. As if any of the partygoers were focused on a servant such as yourself, but still, you prided yourself on your ability to look presentable at any sort of royal event. You were one of Rhaenyra’s favorites, earning you a few tokens of appreciation now and again, such as the scarlet ribbon in your hair and the ruby necklace that matched your satin gown. For such an event as this, it mattered that everyone looked their best.

The night never seemed to wane; after one event, another quickly supplanted it. There had been poetry readings, fencing, festive dancing, and lords bringing forth large, extravagant gifts for the newly wedded couple. Finally, the moment you had been waiting for had arrived. Your heart leapt as soon as you were given the order to bring out the baskets of eggs.

It was quite fun to watch the young ladies squeal and clamber over each other as they reached for the eggs. Despite it being such an innocuous activity, there was deeper meaning beneath it. You often learned of a lady’s true feelings this way. A young married woman would most certainly crack the egg over her husband’s head, but unmarried ladies had free reign of any other who was not yet attached. And since more often than not their marriage would be arranged by their lords and fathers, allowing them this silly little practice was much welcomed. They could declare their truth, even if it was only for a night. Disorderly, child-like, and wildly chaotic, it was certainly your favorite part of the reception.

After most guests turned in for the night, returning to their rooms, the servants lingered in the hall, picking at leftovers from the feast and drinking the last of the wine. A few members of the kingsguard were still at a few dining tables, finishing the remnants of their meal and gobbling down the rest of their ale. Servers leaned against the wall and handmaidens danced to the last song the bard was playing. You found yourself amongst no particular group, resting against a windowsill, content with casually observing.

You noticed a giggly handmaiden reach for one of the remaining eggs. She shushed her friends, who would’ve undoubtedly alerted her prey if they had continued with their noise. Ever so quietly, she made her way over to one of the chefs, who currently had an entire chicken leg in his mouth.

CRACK!

He swung around to see her retreating towards her group, a smile washing over his face when he heard her cackle with delight. The young boy immediately abandoned his plate and rushed from the table, making his way to her, picking her up in his arms and spinning her around.

The young couple caused quite the commotion, and a chain reaction as well. The other servant girls rushed for the basket of eggs, unleashing a torrent of attacks on the remaining men. Not wanting to be left out, you dashed over to the basket and grabbed the last egg that was hidden amongst the straw.

Frantically you searched the hall, surveying your dwindling options. You saw a large figure, hunched over a silver platter, seemingly oblivious to the chaos around him.

That’s the one!

Quick on your feet, you made your way over to his table and smashed the egg over his head, bright colored ribbons getting lost in his dark, curly hair.

Your chest heaving with excitement, you stood rooted to the spot, waiting for the stranger you had chosen to turn around. The wooden chair creaked as the man stood up. From this proximity you were able to see to that he was a member of the kingsguard, something you had failed to notice before, his white cloak falling over his broad shoulders and down his back.

You were met with the most beautiful blue eyes that you had ever seen (and they belonged to a man!). Defined, rugged features, perfectly tousled hair, and smooth, tanned skin, you regretted your choice almost instantly. He was absolutely gorgeous and it had caught you off guard, your mind offering you no solutions to the problem you created. If it was someone you knew better, like another servant, you’d be able to laugh it off and chalk it up to being carried away by the frenzy of the night. Leave it to you to bother a knight, and a criminally attractive one at that.

“What’s your name, ser?” You blurted out. Your cheeks were crimson red when he simply barked out a laugh in response.

“Ser Harwin Strong.” He finally answered, taking your hand in his, bringing it to his lips for a kiss. You breathed heavily, unable to break his gaze. He flashed you a a dazzling smile that lit a fire somewhere deep in your belly.

“Oh, and you had better run, my lady,” he continued, his voice light with amusement, but with a hint of something more in its tone.

“Because when I catch you, there’s no telling what I’ll do.”

@vainillasmil157

#harwinsgirl #harwin strong x reader #ser harwin strong #harwin strong #harwin strong fic #harwin strong fluff #drabbles

[tracy-warcross]

Day: gobble gobble

Pascao: till the very next day do do do do dododo

Kaede: that’s the duck song you dumbass he’s clearly enacting a chicken

June: *facepalms* you mean a Turkey?

#marie lu #legendtroligy #legend Marie Lu #day wing #daniel altan wing #june iparis #kaede #pascao legend

[invisibleraven]

Just, cut up the carrots without cutting up yourself. It’s not hard. Please. Okay, and you failed. Great. for the Greater Polyphantoms Polycule?

"Willie?"

He looked up, and saw Luke, fiddling with the guitar pick in his hands, his fidget toy of choice, and Willie grinned. "What's up Guitar Hero?"

"I need your help."

"Sure bro, what do you need?"

Luke blew out a breath and rubbed the back of his head. "So it's almost the end of the semester and I wanted to do something nice to like celebrate? Show everyone how proud I am of them for finishing school."

Willie cooed then gave a shit eating grin as Luke flipped him off. They were the only two not pursuing a post-secondary education, with his art selling well and working at the skate shop designing boards between competitions. Luke barely got his GED, so he riled against more school, preferring to write songs, find gigs for the band, and work on his parts of the demo they were oh so slowly recording.

Meanwhile everyone else was suffering through four years of college, with Carrie and Alex in Performing Arts, Flynn in Fashion Design, Reggie in Photography, and Julie in Musical Composition and Performance. Sure the band planned on making it big, but they all wanted to have back ups to fall back on, just in case.

So Willie was all for doing something nice for their partners. Except he'd never known Luke to be all that proficient in the kitchen. They all took turns cooking of course, but Luke usually made breakfast for supper, grilled cheese, or something from a can. "Okay, do you have a meal in mind?"

"Umm, I know everyone likes that chicken broccoli casserole you made not that long ago?" Luke suggested. "And maybe I could do some carrot cake muffins for dessert, I know those are Julie and Alex's favourites."

"We can do that," Willie stated, and accompanied Luke into the kitchen. "I'll handle the protein if you wanna start on the veg."

Luke bit his lip, looking at the vegetables before him like they were a foreign substance. Which, was fair because everyone usually cut them super smile due to Luke and Willie's texture issues, and Flynn's dislike for anything healthy. "What do I do?"

"Just, cut up the carrots without cutting up yourself. It’s not hard. Please," Willie said, handing Luke a knife and cutting board, letting him go as he started chopping up the chicken breasts into chunks until he heard a hiss and saw Luke sucking a finger into his mouth. "Okay, and you failed. Great."

Thankfully there was minimal blood to clean up, so with a bandage and fresh surfaces, Willie helped guide Luke's hands with no further injury, then helping him toss the carrots into the food processor. Sure, traditionally you would use a box grater to shred the carrots, but Willie didn't exactly trust Luke not to flay the skin from his knuckles with that.

Thankfully he managed much easier with the broccoli, and even managed to measure out the cake stuff fairly properly, even if Willie triple checked he was using sugar and not salt.

Soon enough the casserole was bubbling away and the muffins were cooling on the rack. Luke happily did the dishes, and Willie dried, the two of them harmonizing to a Beatles tune that was playing on the radio, with ample air guitar breaks on Luke's part and Willie bopping along.

"Honeys we're home!" Reggie called as he entered.

"Smells good in here," Carrie said suspiciously. "Did you two order supper?"

"No, I made supper!" Luke said proudly.

Alex screwed up his face but then relaxed when Willie assured him that he had supervised the whole process.

"Good job mi vida," Julie said, pressing a kiss to Luke's cheek. Then pressed a friendly one to Willie's temple. "Thank you for making sure he didn't poison us or burn down the house."

"Hey!" Luke argued, but then slumped. "That's fair. Thanks Wils," he held out a fist, which Willie dutifully bumped.

"Anytime bro," Willie replied.

Later they all sat down and tentatively dug into the meal, but then happily gobbled it down, everyone complimenting Luke and WIllie, though no one could hide the surprise in their voice as they did.

"Why did you make food anyways?" Alex asked. "I'm not complaining, especially since it gave me a night off. But what's the special occasion?"

"Figured you guys all deserved a nice meal after the semester ended," Luke said with a shrug. "I'll do something nicer when exams are done."

"I'd be fine with this again boy band," Flynn remarked. "You did a damn good job."

"Is there dessert?" Reggie asked. "Because otherwise I'm going back for thirds."

"I made muffins?"

"What kind?" Carrie asked with narrowed eyes.

"Carrot cake."

"My favourite!" Julie and Alex chorused, then turned to each other and simultaneously screamed "Jinx!"

Willie rolled his eyes fondly and got the muffins, everyone wolfing them down and agreed Luke could make them anytime.

"My fingers might not survive that," Luke said sheepishly, holding up his bandaged hands. "But thanks."

They all laughed, and then ensured Luke got to relax while the rest of them took care of dishes. Well, until Alex thanked Luke and Willie in his own way.

And Luke figured if he got a thanks like that every time he cooked, he might just do it more often!

#filled prompts #ficlet #the greater phantoms polycule #julie and the phantoms

[in-arlathan]

Get To Know Me

Who dis? It's me! Been a hot minute, hasn't it? This year has been a pile of dung up until now, if I'm being completely honest, hence my absence from Tumblr and most social media. I had an accident in December and have been feeling like dirt ever since. But: I'm back now! Mostly thanks to my beloved @johaerys-writes and the amazing @mogwaei who tagged me for this game. Thanks to you two! ❤ It's been a please reading your posts.

And now: Let's dive in!

Share your wallpaper: I'm a very boring person who has her own artwork as a wallpaper on her phone (talking about this study I did last year). XD It reminds me that (every once in a while) I do create something that I actually enjoy without any self-doubt or regret, and I like that.

Last song you listened to: "Eyes Closed" by Ed Sheeran. I'm a very basic person, lol.

Currently reading: Let me check Goodreads real quick... Yeah, I'm reading far too many books at the same time again. So here's the top 3 of books I'm reading and enjoying the most atm:

The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehlman

Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

There's also a bunch of fanfic I need to catch up on but my mind has been all over the place.

Last move: "Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves". My P&P podcast party had been invited to a preview 2 weeks ago and we had a fun time watching that movie.

Craving: Time off. I've been working non-stop for the past 8 months or so (with Christmas being the only exception) and I'm feeling super drained right now. Luckily, there are a few short trips coming up in April and July, so there is that!

What are you wearing right now: Basic black jeans and a white knitted sweater. It's spring but it's still flipping cold in my apartment. Ooph!

How tall are you: 168 cm or 5'5 feet (I guess?)

Piercings: Just the two for my earrings. As I said, I'm *very* basic. :')

Tattoos: Currently I got two but I plan on getting more later this year. Gotta save up some money first.

Glasses? Contacts? I got 3 different glasses (transparent, gold and brown frames) and contacts because I like to switch things up.

Last drink: I'm currently having some coffee with oat milk aka The breakfast of Champions. Or so I keep telling myself XD

Last thing you ate: Chicken wrap with lots of cheese. It was amazing.

Favorite color: My taste in color(s) shifts constantly but I'm currently obsessed with green in various tones. I keep getting back to like a warmer green because it makes me feel very cozy. But I also adore a good color combo of orange and violet/lilac or yellow and dark blue. It depends on my mood.

Current obsession: Truth be told, because of the current state of my mental health, I have a hard time being obsessed about anything. It's not like I can't enjoy things (I know that that feels like and I don't want to get back to *those days*) but there's not hyperfixation that lives rent-free in my head. And you know what? It feels terrible! I miss the feeling of being utterly obsessed about something. I crave that level of excitement, honestly!

Unrelated Obsession: Okay, I guess this means non-fandom obsessions. I do have one of those! A short while back, I read a book by the title "Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World" which was fascinating. I loved that it was not Euro-centric and instead focussed on the achievements of Genghis and his successors. I've been gobbling media with the same or similiar topics – including finally playing "Ghost of Tsushima" which send me reading up on the Mongol invasion of Japan. It's been an intriguing ride!

Any pets: I'm too allergic to have cats, dogs, and other animals and I hate it. I want a little doggo so badly... 💔

Do you have a crush on anyone: IRL? Not anymore. I used to have a crush for most of last year but since he started ghosting me a few months back, I decided to focus my attention elsewhere. I'm *done* with dating and have been for the past couple of years. As for fictional characters... I have to go with Solas, although (as I mentioned) my excitement has died down somewhat. I still love that boy to death but I'm not as obsessed as I used to be.

Favorite fictional character: How dare you make me chose one?! I have a trillion fave characters and they're all precious to me ;_; No, I will not pick one because I truly can't!

The last place you traveled: I went to Cologne, my hometown, three weeks ago, but I assume that doesn't count as traveling. I think my last real vacation was in 2019 when I travelled to the Leipzig Book Fair. Oh my... 😅 (And I was wondering why I felt so drained all the time, lol. Dang... what a reality check. This hurts!).

That's it! Hope you enjoyed the read :3

Time to forward some tags. As always, please feel free to join in or ignore the tag: @serial-chillr @faerieavalon @thebookworm0001 @ohmypawsandwhiskers @pikapeppa @oxygenforthewicked @fiadhaisteach @noire-pandora @ellie-effie. Sending all of you lots of love. I hope you're doing great!

Until next time, lovelies! <3

#personal #tag game #get to know me

[isabellafoster13]

Would you be willing to write Gray confessing to Lucy after he realizes her and Natsu really aren’t dating?

I Died Inside Everyday (Gray x Lucy)

Gray leaned against the table that he was sitting at, his head propped up on his hand. He watched as Lucy and Levy danced to Gajeel's terrible singing. His guildmates around him cringed and covered their ears, but he didn't have such a reaction. He was too focused on watching his blonde teammate. 

A lovestruck smile made its way onto his face as his dark eyes followed her movements. The way she danced was graceful in his opinion. She smiled at her guildmates brightly, her beautiful, brown eyes roaming over them as she tried not to give notice to their reactions to the song she was dancing to. Her swaying and steps were executed perfectly, despite Gray not knowing what dance moves she was supposed to be doing. 

Gray had long ago admitted to himself that he was in love with Lucy. He wasn't sure when he fell in love with her. Maybe it was when he first met her. Maybe it was after they got to know each other better. He did, however, know that he realized he was in love when they had gone on a job together. He had watched her fight alongside her spirits with her new whip. As he watched her fight, he had found himself mesmerized by how she worked with her spirits and the way she moved. It was at that moment that he realized his feelings for her. She was everything that he wanted in a girlfriend. Both in terms of looks and personality.

Since that day, he had been struggling to confess his feelings to her. Every time he tried, he would chicken out. If he didn't chicken out, then he would be interrupted, either by Natsu or Juvia. He supposed that he should set the record straight with Juvia before he confessed his feelings. 

Gray was brought out of his thoughts when he felt a pair of hands rest on his bare shoulders. He looked behind him to see Mira sitting there. The white-haired woman grinned at him, making the ice-make mage gulp. He knew what was coming and didn't want to deal with Mira's matchmaking. He had just managed to get her to stop trying to set him up with Juvia. 

The take-over mage finally spoke, "Lucy is really pretty, isn't she?" 

Pretty is a major understatement, Gray thought to himself. He then responded, "yeah, she usually is." 

Mira's blue eyes sparkled, making Gray wish that he had stayed quiet. She then spoke again, her voice a little too perky, "Natsu must feel very lucky!" 

Gray paled at that. His mouth opened and closed, similar to one of those fish that Happy loved to gobble down. After several moments of silence, he was finally able to speak, his voice a bit hushed, "w-what? Lucy and Natsu?" He silently begged Mira to not say what he was thinking she was going to say. He offered a prayer that she wasn't revealing to him that Lucy was in love with that flame-breathing idiot. 

Mira clasped her hands in front of her chest, grin growing bigger and eyes glistening with joy. She almost exclaimed, "yeah! Lucy and Natsu! Don't they make a wonderful couple? They are perfect for each other!" 

Gray felt the world stop. His eyes were wide and his mouth had dropped open. Lucy and Natsu? They were dating? He didn't have even a small chance? A sharp pain shot through his chest, making him wince. His eyes went down to the wooden floor. Lucy was taken. She was in love with another man. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes as the revelation crushed down upon him. 

As Mira continued to gush about Lucy and Natsu, Gray stood up and made his way to the doors of the guildhall. When Mira called after him, asking where he was going, he answered that he was heading home because he was tired. 

Upon arriving home, he lay down on his bed, and allowed himself to cry, his heart aching for a woman he had lost before he had the chance to confess his feelings. 

Gray stared down into his mug of alcohol. The sound of his chatting guildmates filled his ears, but he paid them no mind. He heaved a sigh, only to be bothered by the guy who he grew to dislike even more. 

Natsu jumped onto the table, causing the ice-make mage's drink to almost fall over. The dragon slayer bellowed, "fight me, stripper!" 

Gray didn't move his eyes away from his drink, not wanting to look at the man who got to Lucy first. He simply muttered his response, "go away, ash-for-brains."

Natsu crouched beside him, questioning, "what's with you?" 

Gray didn't answer. Instead, he lifted his hand and used a blast of ice to launch Natsu across the guildhall. This quickly caused a brawl to break out. The black-haired man didn't care. He just continued to stare down into his alcohol, wishing that he could get over Lucy already. His chest ached and new tears sprang to his eyes. Fortunately, nobody noticed these tears, both because of the brawl that had broken out and his bangs that were casting a shadow over his eyes. 

It had been a few months since he learned that Lucy and Natsu were a couple. He wondered how he couldn't see it until now. They were clearly very close, too close to be merely friends. Maybe he had suspected that they had feelings for each other and he was just in denial. He realized now that he never had a chance with her. He was a fool to think that he could have been with her. 

Just as Gray was about to leave, he heard his favorite voice speak to him softly, "are you alright, Gray?" 

He turned around to see Lucy, standing behind him with a worried look on her face. He turned back around, answering curtly, "I'm fine." 

He listened as the blonde sat next to him and stated, "I don't believe you."Gray turned his head away, hiding the tears in his eyes from her sight. He felt Lucy gently place a hand on his bare shoulder as she muttered, "what's wrong?" 

Gray's grip on his mug tightened to the point that he thought he was going to break it. Several moments of silence followed before he finally answered, "are you really dating, Natsu?" 

Silence followed before Lucy exclaimed, her hold on his shoulder tightening slightly, "what?!"

"Are you and Natsu really dating?" His voice was a little bit louder.

"No!"

Gray snapped his head around to look at her, his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. She wasn't dating Natsu? But...But Mira had said...

He finally voiced his thoughts, "Mira told me that you and he were dating!" 

Lucy chuckled before she answered "no, Gray. Natsu and I aren't dating." 

"You're not?"

"Yes. Natsu and Lisanna are dating. I don't know why Mira told you I was dating Natsu. She definitely knows that he's with Lisanna." 

Gray looked back down at his drink. She wasn't dating Natsu. She was single. Did this mean that he had a chance? Only one way to find out. 

He looked back at Lucy when she asked, "why did you care so much? I would expect you to be happy for me and Natsu if we were together." 

Gray knew that he couldn't back down now. Lucy would not let him get away without an actual answer that she believed. He took a deep breath and released it before he finally confessed, "I love you, Lucy. I've loved you for several months. I was going to tell you, but then Mira told me that you were dating that idiot. I have to be honest. Since then, all I could see was that you were happy with him. I died inside everyday. Seeing you with him with the belief that you were taken killed me." 

He kept his eyes away from Lucy, waiting for her to say something. Just when he was about to leave, taking her silence as rejection, a pair of hands cupped his face and pulled him into a kiss. His eyes widened in surprise that Lucy was kissing him, but it didn't take long for him to close his eyes and return the kiss. 

Unbeknownst to the new couple, Mira stood behind the bar as she cleaned a glass while Natsu sat on a stool in front of her with Lisanna on his lap. The barmaid smiled as she said, "I told you that my plan would work!" 

Lisanna chuckled before she lightheartedly groaned, "but did you have to use my boyfriend for your plan?" 

Mira laughed and answered, "I wanted to make it interesting." 

Natsu simply pipped up as he watched his best friend and frenemy, "at least they aren't pinning for each other anymore."

#fairy tail #lucy heartfilia #gray fullbuster #graylu #gralu #gray x lucy #mirajane strauss #lisanna strauss #natsu dragneel #angst #first kiss #love confession #misunderstanding #anon request

[showerbong]

i could eat tuna out of the can every single day if it wasn't for the mercury. seriously I love it you don't have to get out any tupperware and you can recycle the can when you're done. so you can feel like a GOOD PERSON doing GOOD in the world even though you're like gobbling down essentially cat food over the saucencrusted stove in your slovenly sweatpants in your uncared for apartment that you pay way too much fucking money for (but you don't really have the upfront cash that it would take to like move and also you would rather be in credit card debt than live with a roommate at this point). i have discovered recently that shredded slow cooked chicken breast is a nice alternative to exceeding your mercury allotment, though it does, rather unfortunately, require Tupperware. I usually just pluck little pinches of chicken shreds right out of the container in the fridge and drop it in my mouth like grated cheddar.

i am doing exactly this when you call. i feel like kendall jenner the week before the victorias secret fashion show, where she only eats like boiled chicken breast and cries a lot. "cccheay" I say. "what" you say. "sorry im just chewing." the chicken is stringy and kind of styrofoamy. it's getting packed down into a tacky fibrous ball into one of my back molars. youre just talking about your day and i want to pay attention, i do, but i just keep watching this insta reel montage of like 30 peoples reactions to this girl i VAGUELY knew from boston's pregnancy announcement. the reel is just like unrelenting clip after clip after clip of her like having drinks with another couple and passing them an "auntie & uncle" keychain or like her sitting on a couch with a couple of girls who open a card and start crying or her watching her father unroll a worlds best grandpa T shirt. all of the clips are overlayed with this insane song called moments to memories and there's no original audio, just exceedingly ordinary absolute amazement on each of their faces. i guess her husband like secretly filmed them all.

i guess i bring all this up because i have this girls desk, which like isnt that weird but i can't stop thinking about it. im staring at it right now, the desk, as im eating these dry chicken shreds with my fingers and you are on the phone talking about your day. all of the books i was supposed to read but didn't are sitting on top of this pregnant girls ikea desk that's in my living room but also in my bedroom since i live in a studio, and there's only one working hinge left on the little desk cabinet and i think the inside is stuffed with old magazines, but the thought of opening it to even see what's in there makes me nauseous. this girl was dating the roommate of my ex, which is how I met her, back when I was still dating my ex. and then when she and her bf, my exes roommate, you get it- so when they moved in together she had to get rid of all her like college era slovenly ikea furniture so she gave it to me for free. i think my boyfriend and i screamed at each other when we got it stuck at an angle in the bend of the staircase trying to lug it up to my 3rd floor apartment.

anyway the girl was nice but incredibly ordinary and just kind of unexciting. she asked me what highlighter i used no less than 6 times. for whatever reason i am currently convinced that she despises me and has told everyone we ever mutually knew that im an evil lying cunt with weird pussy lips. even though in reality i don't think she even remembers me, which infuriates me even more, so i like her post and then go through her profile and like the one before just so she's reminded that I exist.

i also cannot for the life of me remember if she's adopted or not, idk there was something weird at one point she had said about her parents, but this was in the middle of covid when i knew her so it could also have been that her parents are just old. it was either really old or adopted. so I find her wedding photos on her page and im just zooming in and out with my sticky chickeny fingers comparing her nose to her "dad's" nose and idk for the life of me i can't figure it out

[ariesbilly]

I would love fics Rec for FP n Fred pls!

yes!! okay 😊

from @fredheads:

fp's adventures in domesticity (T) - Fred's a professional when it comes to stretching himself thin, can usually make ends meet even when the rope's falling apart. But Fred can't run a household and recover from a gunshot wound at the same time, especially with both Archie and Jughead living there. That's where FP comes in.

you could justify sin (NR) - Fred Andrews was in middle school when he finally worked up the courage to do the right thing.

it breaks me in to stay alive (T) - fred in treatment for an eating disorder and fp being a supportive boyfriend

everybody's got a hungry heart (M) - Fred’s starving, and gobbles half of his plate in record time, using the crust of his bread to mop at the extra sauce. The dish is comforting somehow, the taste reminding him of his own childhood, his mother’s dinners. “I’ve missed this,” says FP casually, staring anywhere but Fred’s face. He speaks gruffly, but his fingers have been anxiously shredding the corner of his napkin into snow. “You and me.” Date? or not a date? He moves his fork a bit to the left. FP’s eyes follow it. Date, thinks Fred, with a swoop of panic, stuffing another mouthful past his lips to disguise his uncertainty. Date, date, date.

from @halcooper:

just won't quit (NR) - Fred Andrews never gets sick. Especially not during basketball tryouts. Especially not when his folks are out of town. or FP Jones spends his afternoon trying to get a delirious Fred Andrews home and tucked into bed.

from me :)

seventeen and coming clean for the first time (T) - It’s not until FP catches his breath that he realizes how silent the room has become. There’s a tension he hadn’t picked up on, but now that he has it’s so thick he’s practically choking on it. Reality slowly starts to crash in on him as his eyes roam up his father’s body to meet his own. They’re both at a standstill. Senior seems to be in a state of shock, like he’s trying to process what the hell just happened. FP’s just trying to figure out what play to make as the weight of what he’s just revealed finally dawns on him. It’s almost a game of chicken. And then…

show me what i'm looking for (T) - ”I don’t think I can go through with this,” is what Fred had told him less than 24 hours after being the one to ask FP to marry him in the first place.

it was me and you and the whole town under water (T) - the missing fredsythe storyline from 308 we all needed

all the best djs are saving their slowest songs for last (T) - Fred had always figured he’d chaperone his son’s senior prom. It’s just what he did. Went to every dance, every field trip, every PTA meeting… He was involved. It’s just… He also kind of assumed his wife would be there with him. Even after the divorce he still figured they’d go as friends. Never in a million years did he think he’d be dating his ex… whatever they were in high school.

and then some from miscellaneous authors who i am not in a group chat with lmao

The Shaggin' Wagon (E) - With college on the horizon, Fred Andrews and FP Jones fix up a van before taking it on a trip together, up into the mountains where it feels like they're the only two people on earth. It doesn't take long before the feelings that have been growing between them get too strong to ignore...

song for the last act (T) - fred and fp during their last week of high school

Where the Wild Rain Falls (M) - A storm comes in on the night of the parent-teacher conferences at Riverdale High.

stages of healing (T) - FP’s hands have been scarred for as long as Fred can remember.

#i wanted to stick to more strictly fredsythe fics and not fredsythe + everyone else just in case #so kim please do not feel bad i only have one fic from you in here lmao #fredsythe #fred andrews #fp jones #love giving out fredsythe/parentdale recs cuz the fandom is me and my 3 friends lmao #briana answers things

[whisperthatruns]

The Long Labors

My grandmother said it was going to be long—as long as you can hold your lineage—depending on how long you can hold your tongue—as long as your tongue can wrap around the pit—of some stolen stone fruit—as long as you can hide your pitter-patter face—glued in sun-split splinters—lengthening shadows as long as your face—longing to be mirrored back—back to your daughter your mother your grandmother—freckle by freckle—furnished forever across—the long loaming haul—                     Collapsed in a pool of spit—my mouth over papers—raccoon doctorate—luxurious loser with thin branch fingers—no meat in the palm—no muscle in the bending—the farmer in me is atrophying—the cook the factory seamstress the clerk the mother in me is pooling out—all that I come from—all that I owe to them—what is left of me—what is—me: professorial rat—book-leavened and maddened in meetings—chewing at my desk on a frozen anything—microwave spun and splattered on lessons—wondering who packaged this—who spooned this glacial sauce into this plastic hull—whose hands whose daughter does she look like me does she like dancing in the gloaming—funneled into my greedy mouth—I: daughter of long labors—I: knock-off half-price guilt—I: impossible imposter big words big words—trying to prove what—and to whom—I wait to be seated at a restaurant—a white person enters and orders from me—“I want sweet and sour chicken but without bell peppers and brown rice”—and I almost take it down—                     In the twelfth hour of night-shift overtime—my mother gobbles the air of the facility—mouth opening a cavern or a bowhead whale or a sinkhole—gobbling up its oxygen its nitrogen its argon its skin its hair dust its swirling smog—collecting time collecting benefits—her eyes so baggy they carry a leaking pack of chicken breasts—she had planned to cook tonight for us—but look at the break room clock she is out of time and now—they will surely go bad—what a waste at $1.50 a pound—she returns to her station rubs tiger balm and lavender oil along her wrists and hands—chews dried ginger to keep awake—the root of herself sharpening salivating—reapplies pink lipstick swivels the tube upward—rituals of resilience—feeds letters to machines churning intestinal noise—electricity bills and love letters and baby photos and magazines ladies who lunch will take to the salon and credit card limited-time offers and reminders from the dentist and supermarket weeklies and postcards from Oahu—“you wouldn’t believe how blue the water how restful how peaceful bring the whole family next time”—ginger chew ginger chew—                     Who made this for you—do you know the song that reminds them of home—do you know to play the radio as loud as you can and roll down the windows and smack your cheeks ten times in order to stay awake for the drive—do you know who sewed on this button—do you know the murmuring leg ache from standing all day a tree for whom—do you know who processed the letter you received today—fed it into a machine with paper cuts as wide as a river you could float in—do you know how long you can hold your urine until your 15-minute break—the roiling pressure in the abdomen the tick-tap of the feet the hands—how much to tip the gas station attendant in Jersey how the smell sticks behind both earlobes—the temperature when flipping a wok the oil burns the white paper hat measuring salt at the brim—how your impatient face resembles a slowly rotting peach—worms in the snarl—do you know the name of  your fishmonger the name of  my uncle—the times he snuck in a call to say he will be late picking up his daughter fish scales glittered to his elbows like opera gloves—do you know cuticles peeling white like flecks of cod after washing dishes—do you know the smell of nail polish remover stinging bees in your nostrils—do you know the back—how the back curls how the back bridges how the back puckers and crunches—like packed snow no one else but you will shovel out—I look up how labor is used in a sentence—“the obvious labor”—“immigrants provided a source of cheap labor”—“negotiations between labor and management”—“wants the vote of labor in the elections”—“the flood destroyed the labor of years”—“industry needs labor for production”—anthropocene capitalism gentrification—what do these words mean—and to whom—helping my mother over the sink—I snip the ends of long beans 豆角 with kitchen shears—the ends rolling away—green lizard tails—I cut away each word like a long bean—gentrificat—gentrif—gen—ge—g—glugging the g—down the drain—                     If only lying on a beach—limbs loosened like an old garden hose—if only watching the movements of our stomachs—rising and falling like baby jellyfish—our thighs waxing and waning—in bristle-rough sand if only—reading a book the pages—wrinkled and curled like a snail shell—from falling asleep against our faces—if only devouring a cloud—full of no rain no metallic muscle if—only softness if only we—went off in the softness—into the downy relaxing abyss—what is this word—vacation—my grandmother asks me chili hitting the wok like delicious dying stars—                     My grandmother said it was going to be long—going out the door always late for work—shirt inside out—said go on and bounce a howling baby (my mother/me/et al)—while skimming oxtail broth—the fat sheen of look how well we eat in this country—lest you forget it was worth it—lest you forget—the dilation of the cervix going the contractions going the grip the placenta the shit the vernix the garbled life going the soft flashlight eyes the milk the teeth the nails the hand on heart the soup coagulating on the stove—you must go—for what gleams in the dark turns to look at you—remember this—                     The work and the afterwork and the work of being perceived as not doing enough work though you are working well over enough—will this ever be enough—when is enough enough—the chorus now: not until the knots of fat—melt in this wok—not until you have nothing left but this suet—this smear of high-heat lineage—gleaming in the gloaming—and it is yours and it is mine and it is your dream daughter’s and it will last longer than you will ever believe—believe us—

Jane Wong, How to Not Be Afraid of Everything (Alice James Books, 2021)

#quote #jane wong #the long labors #how to not be afraid of everything #poetry

[nicetrynicetry]

88

Saturday I wake late, the only thing stopping me from waking later being two paintings in a workable state waiting for me in the studio, paintings I know will be good. If I transferred even an ounce of the confidence I reserve for painting to making music, I would be laughing, but I’m not laughing. It rains just as I get through the studio door, and the downpour will keep me inside all afternoon. J is set to come in the early evening but is held up by Free Palestine protests, suggests not coming at all, which I beg him against. I even type “I can’t believe you like Hamas more than me” into the text box, in jest, but quickly delete it. Then I type “protests are gay”, and delete that. Grow up, I say to myself, grinding coffee beans

I gift J a pair of cooking tongs from Korea, the first of several souvenirs that got temporarily lost in the move and that I am only now remembering to dole out. I gave my mum a fridge magnet for her collection on Thursday, and I am still sitting on an array of tiny cutlery for V. J and I talk about Uggs, sobriety, food, ADHD, Gaudi. By the time we leave together my ashtray is barely visible beneath the cigarette butts. The smoke has turned my eyes red, so much so that emerging into the wind and rain is a relief. The supermarket has the normal concentration of divorced fathers wrangling their kids, trying to limit their chocolate intake. At home I watch a video of Snoop Dogg and Kevin Hart watching a video of Olympic dressage, providing live commentary on the strange movements of horses. “This horse is off the chain!”, Snoop says, “it’s bad as a motherfucker!”

Sunday I wake even later, hideously late. Despite the clocks going back, I sleep til 1pm, which is spiritually 2pm. I gobble down to cold plunge as though it’s not the afternoon, my neck hurts, my back hurts. I wipe all my plans, a literal raincheck since it is pouring, and resign myself to a gross housebound weekend finale. I walk to buy chicken and rice, listening to one of the many comedy podcasts ready and waiting on my Spotify feed. “I’m a millennial”, says a woman comedian, “so I’m not racist but I’m not woke”. I laugh, and to fellow pedestrians who can’t see AirPods underneath my nest of hair, I probably look insane. I walk by an opticians on Chapel Market where fancy cheese and meat stalls are being packed away, called INSIGHT. The SIGH part of the shop name is printed in a markedly different hue to the IN and T. I could not have asked for a greater metaphor, amazed I am alert enough to witness it since my eyes are still bleary from sleep, like a doll with eyelids that are meant to flutter freely but get stuck halfway due to age or mistreatment

Everyone I know seems to have picked up a cold in Paris, and I wonder whether the regimen of plunges and oregano oil capsules are actually doing their job. There is something luxurious about resting and mooching like a sick person without the sickness itself, but also something maddeningly pointless. I make a deal with myself when I return home that, since new songs seem off the cards, I will dive back into an old song and try to re-record and re-edit it with my new equipment. In the end I wind up with a butchered version of the old song with spurts of high fidelity baked in. I eat chicken and I eat rice despairing, and in the Hail Mary spirit with nothing to lose, go back to my music pod and try something new. Is it my finest work? No. Does it sound good? Yes. Will it sustain my ego for the coming week? Maybe

Then my mum texts me that Matthew Perry is dead. Found drowned in his hot tub, yet without drugs present. “Blames his divorced parents….”, mum adds, which I have yet to verify, then one of her trademark mea culpas for divorcing my dad. Of course the only crime committed in my eyes and the eyes of many was simply not divorcing him sooner. And besides, who has ever been sent to prison for falling out of love? M suspects Perry’s death was a heart attack. I still think drugs, since those are widely known to have had a grip on him in the past, plus the SAG strike means the man could not work. Naturally as a kid I knew him as Chandler, but then later he was always a stalwart of the dating app Raya alongside famous cricketers and DJs and venture capitalists. I could never bring myself to “like” his profile because there was an unbearable sadness to his being on the app at all, that fame and loneliness hybrid often found in Malibu. But if you’re on Raya as a heterosexual woman and you havent fucked Matthew Perry, do you even exist?

So this news briefly overtakes Israel/Palestine for an evening, perhaps a little longer depending on how corrupt TMZ are and for how long they decide drip-feed salacious details to the internet. Also proof that a celebrity death trumps a civilian one every time, but there’s nothing to fix that. I text with N and stream Wolf of Wall Street in the background, as Leo DiCaprio is paralysed by quaaludes and Popeye plays on his TV and Jonah Hill chokes on his food. I have to wake early tomorrow so that men can lay carpet on my stairs. You would think the 13 hours of sleep I got last night would stand me in good stead here, but I don’t think that’s how sleep works

[offbookkeeping]

19. Turkey Run with Colton Dunn

Plot summary:

A man hosts a massive thanksgiving dinner for his entire family. The three cousins between the ages of 19 and 23, Danny, Derrick, and Domelda, philosophize about mini marshmallows. The cousins between the ages of 6 and 9, Ethan, Ella, and Evan, complain about being at the kids table and how nerdy Ethan is. The old cousins have a very repetitive and strange conversation about kinds of retirement community islands, including rice, ice, mice, dice, and others. An orphan approaches the host and asks if she can attend the dinner. The host agrees after some convincing. Meanwhile turkeys who've never been eaten talk about their friends and enemies being killed and how it gives their lives meanining. A police officer comes inquiring after the orphan girl and says she's not what she appears and that she's actually a turkey in disguise. The green beans are also turkeys (gobble gobble) and the orphan/travelocity gnome is also a turkey. The cop is revealed to be 3 chickens stacked up on each other. All the turkeys are now on a JetBlue flight. The birds end up on Spice Island (finally!) The plane crashes and the birds have to use the micro mallows to make regular marshmallows and float back home.

Best quotes:

• "Sorry I just choked on how much I MIND"

Best songs:

• Island Retirement Community

• Be Thankful (That You're Not Being Murdered)

Thoughts Overall:

The Island Retirement Community song is almost a spice island commercial and I think everyone knew it. Okay yeah I was right. What the fuck even is this episode it's such a fever dream. Zach as a small nerdy 8 year old asks a gnome/turkey their pronouns because he didn't want to assume if they were a human. This episode kind of feels like a Bojack Horseman episode from his coked out perspective. Also Zach has a really good plane voice. I have no idea what even happened during any of it.

#off book ep 19 turkey run with colton dunn #off book podcast #off book #jess mckenna #jessica mckenna #zach and jess #zach reino #zachary reino #z&j

[dan6085]

Birds are one of the most diverse and fascinating groups of animals, with over 10,000 species worldwide. Here are the top 20 most popular birds, along with details on why they are beloved by bird enthusiasts:

1. American Robin: A familiar bird with a distinctive red breast, known for its cheerful song and adaptability to urban environments.

2. Bald Eagle: A majestic bird of prey with a wingspan of up to 7 feet, known for its strength, agility, and iconic status as a national symbol.

3. Blue Jay: A colorful and intelligent bird known for its bold blue and white plumage, as well as its loud, distinctive call.

4. Canada Goose: A large and graceful bird with a distinctive honking call, known for its migratory habits and adaptability to various habitats.

5. Chicken: A domesticated bird that is popular for meat and egg production, as well as its friendly and curious personality.

6. Duck: A diverse group of waterfowl that includes many different species, known for their colorful plumage and distinctive quacking calls.

7. Finch: A small and colorful bird known for its sweet song and active, social nature.

8. Hummingbird: A tiny and fast-moving bird known for its iridescent plumage and ability to hover in mid-air while feeding on nectar.

9. Owl: A nocturnal bird of prey known for its silent flight, keen senses, and iconic "hoot" call.

10. Parrot: A colorful and intelligent bird known for its ability to mimic human speech, as well as its playful and social personality.

11. Peacock: A large and majestic bird known for its colorful plumage and elaborate courtship displays.

12. Penguin: A flightless bird that is adapted to life in the water, known for its distinctive waddling gait and social behavior.

13. Pigeon: A common bird found in cities and urban environments, known for its adaptability and distinctive cooing call.

14. Raven: A large and intelligent bird known for its glossy black plumage, as well as its adaptability to a variety of habitats.

15. Seagull: A common coastal bird known for its distinctive call and scavenging behavior, as well as its association with the sea and beaches.

16. Sparrow: A small and common bird found in both urban and rural environments, known for its sweet song and social behavior.

17. Swan: A large and graceful bird known for its white plumage and elegant swimming style, as well as its association with romance and love.

18. Turkey: A large bird that is popular for meat production and as a symbol of Thanksgiving, as well as its distinctive "gobble" call and social behavior.

19. Vulture: A large and powerful bird of prey that is adapted to scavenging, known for its keen senses and distinctive bald head.

20. Woodpecker: A small and colorful bird known for its ability to drill into wood with its beak, as well as its distinctive drumming call and adaptability to various habitats.

In conclusion, these 20 birds are among the most popular and beloved by bird enthusiasts, each with its unique traits and characteristics that make it a fascinating and important part of the natural world. From their colorful plumage and sweet songs to their powerful wings and keen senses, birds continue to captivate and inspire people of all ages and backgrounds.

[aestheticvoyage2022]

Day 328: Thursday November 24, 2022 - “Plenty To Be Thankful For”

Hard to say for sure what the best part of this Thanksgiving Holiday was, but I suppose Jane’s potato cake needs to mentioned right up in the first sentence to do it any real justice.   A Lions win would have been nice (they lost on a last second field goal after a competitive game with the Bills), but aside from that we had everything we needed, and then some.

I had plenty to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday of the year, and the feast’s table was flavored with the steady hands that allow me to be able to count my blessings....just days ago, such a sight would’ve been highly unlikely - but here we all were, Dave, Jane, Deni, William and I - with AC up in the air flying, enjoying a plate of our seven-legged Chicken, brussels sprouts, squash, and other fine accoutrements....William quite literally enjoyed the gravy by the handful while wearing his Feast Mode shirt (stains still approved) - yes, it still fits from a year ago; maybe even fits better as he’s thinned out from spending all day in a frenetic non-stop go pace that kept us chasing him from one thing to the next as he played and enjoyed the day with his people.  He was his typical lovey happy self most of the day, freely handing out affection to Jane and Dave as if he somehow knew just how much they’ve loved and carried his Dad this past month.  And of course they loved his Yooper costume that he showed up in, complete with his long hair sticking out his pumpkin hat, and posed with him outside in his Turkey costume as DG grilled our fine bird.  Gobble Gobble cluck cluck cluck.  I hope this one still fits a year from now too!

After dinner and desert of dippa dippa and pumpkin pie, Dave included us in his decades long tradition of listening to Alice’s Restaurant, and I suppose that should be a new tradition of mine too - since after all, this Thanksgiving of 2022 will surely be a stand out one...no not just because of the potato cake recipe, but of all the undeserved love I have received, and the luck of getting another chance and how much gratitude, real gratitude I had in my heart on the Thanksgiving that I didn’t even eat Turkey, but did not care even one single bit.

Song: Arlo Guthrie - Alice’s Restaurant Massacree

Quote:  There is a finite number of time we get to wake up, breathe, make love or stand in the rain. Time is the only real currency traded on the exchange of life. And yet for all the money in the world, it is not for sale no matter what the doctors say when we beg for more of it as death approaches, finally seeing that we forgot to count the raindrops. ~Generic IG wisdom

[sesamie]

l’frou jibet is the best joe hawley song and i won’t be convinced otherwise

#unless you try to convince me his best song is the gobble chicken song instead. on that i can be easily swayed #tally hall

[spanishskulduggery]

Have you done Spanish animals and their noises yet? I know it's silly but seeing how other languages pronounce things is cute!

So I don’t know all of them, but many of the animal sounds are what we’d call las onomatopeyas or “onomatopoeia” which is a sound effect given word form, and a lot of them are similar to English

el perro, la perra = dog ladrar = to bark el ladrido = barking noise guau = the sound of a dog barking [guau guau is like “bowwow”; also guau is “wow” as an exclamation so you know, weirdness there]

el gato, la gata = cat maullar = to meow el maullido = meowing sound miau / ñau = the sound of a cat meowing ronronear = to purr el ronroneo = purring

la vaca = cow / el toro = bull mugir = to moo [or in older texts “to low”] el mugido = mooing sound mu / muu = moo

el pájaro = bird piar = to chirp el pío = bird chirping, birdsong, tweeting pío, pío pío = sound of bird chirping

la gallina = hen el cloqueo = clucking cloquear = to cluck cloc cloc = sound of chicken or bird clucking

el gallo = rooster cacarear = to crow, to cluck el cacareo = crowing (of a rooster or chicken), clucking (el) quiquiriquí / kikirikí = cock-a-doodle-doo

el pato, la pata = duck el cuervo = crow, raven / la corneja = raven el ganso, la gansa / la oca = goose graznar = to quack / to honk / to caw el graznido = quacking / honking (geese) / cawing 

el pavo = turkey gluglutear = to gobble (turkey sound) gluglú = gobble gobble [gluglutear is also the sound used for dripping or running water, it’s like “gurgling” or “babbling brook”, that sort of thing]

el cuco = cuckoo el cucú = cuckoo noise, general softer bird noise / sound of a cuckoo clock [also el cucú is “peekaboo” like jugar al cucú “to play peekaboo” probably because of cuckoo clocks]

el búho = owl / la lechuza = owl ulular = to hoot el ululato = hooting huu huu = sound of an owl

la abeja = bee | la avispa = wasp | la mosca = a fly zumbar = to buzz el zumbido = buzzing noise, humming noise [also used for machinery like “droning”] zum / zummmm = the sound of buzzing

el grillo = cricket chirriar = to chirp / for insects to make noise el chirrido = chirping, sounds of insects cricrí = chirp chirp [sound a cricket or cicada makes]

el asno / el burro = donkey rebuznar = to bray, to make a donkey noise el rebuzno = braying, heehaw

la serpiente = snake el lagarto = lizard / la lagartija = lizard / smaller lizard sisear = to hiss el siseo = hissing noise [I think hissing is pretty universally sssss]

la rana = frog / el sapo = toad croar = to croak, to ribbit croac-croac = sound of frogs, ribbit ribbit

el león, la leona = lion, lioness el tigre, la tigresa = tiger (and tigress which is less common) el oso, la osa = bear rugir = to roar el rugido = a roar gruñir = to growl el gruñido = growling noise [the onomatopoeia is pretty much just rrrr or grrr]

el lobo, la loba = wolf aullar = to howl el aullido = howling noise [wolf noises are predictably things like auuuu]

la ballena = whale cantar = to sing [el canto de ballena is “whale's song”] resoplar = to breathe out, to exhale / to huff and puff [resoplar is the verb used when whales resurface and shoot water out of their blowholes before taking another breath]

el elefante, la elefanta = elephant barritar = to trumpet (elephants) [otherwise barritar is “to bellow”] el barrito = trumpeting noise (elephant) [I’ve seen it written as bruuu for their noise or something to that effect]

el caballo = horse / la yegua = mare relinchar = to neigh el relincho = neighing sound [I think the sound is often written like hiiii or something to that effect]

Another common one is chillar which is used as “to shriek”, and it can be used with people or animals; chillar can be used for animals yelling or screeching, or it could be for pigs [los cerdos] and “squealing”... el chillido is the noun form

And for pigs gruñir is the general verb for “oinking” but they do say oink oink as the onomatopoeia I believe

There are lots I don’t know, but at least as far as sound effects you can usually understand what they’re going for when you see it or hear it in context