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lilhawkeye3 · 3 years

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Hawk’s Movie Rec List🦅🎬🍿

Okay y’know what I’m actually just gonna put together a movie rec list because why not😂 This list will include my summary, a list of starring actors that you’ll recognize in the film, and where to (legally) watch it.

What We Do In The Shadows

Hawk’s summary: a mockumentary about a quartet of vampires living in New Zealand. Also has a spin off show focusing on a group of vampires from Staten Island, NYC. Hilarious and also like... just some great supernatural content. You can watch the show without seeing the movie and tbh it’s just as amazing, if not better.

Starring: Taika Waititi, Jemaine Clement, Jonathan Brugh

Streaming on: Hulu (tv show), rental on Prime (movie)

Pirates of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl

Hawk’s summary: look all the characters are great, the plot is great, zombie skeletons pirates are great, idk what else to tell you. It’s just a fun time.

Starring: Johnny Depp, Kiera Knightly, Orlando Bloom, and that cute monkey lmao. Also the dog with the keys.

Streaming on: Disney+

Young Frankenstein

Hawk’s summary: this film is a comedy and parody of classical horror films and yet manages to be the most accurate Frankenstein film to the original novel in terms of understanding the theme of man vs maker etc. And it’s Mel Brooks, the king of comedy tbh.

Starring: Gene Wilder, Mel Brooks, Madeline Kahn

Streaming on: Starz/Hulu/Prime, but... you can find the full film for free very easily.

Blazing Saddles

Hawk’s Summary: another Mel Brooks comedy, this time parodying old westerns! Watch if you’re tired of racist characterizations and in need of some no barred laughs. Fair warning: they use the N word a LOT, but like... to show the absurdity of racists. Idk I saw it first when I was 8 (questionable parenting move lmao) but it’s one of my all time favorites.

Starring: Gene Wilder, Mel Brooks, Madeline Kahn, and Mel Brooks still making fun of Nazis like he does best 🤩

Streaming on: rental on Prime and YouTube currently

Undercover Brother

Hawk’s summary: a parody of the spy genre and blaxploitation films. Follows Undercover Brother as he joins a secret Black organization that fights The Man, an unknown white dude who wants to erase the effect of Black culture on white America.

Starring: Dave Chappelle, Neil Patrick Harris, Denise Richards, Billy Dee Williams, Cris Kataan, and a great cameo by James Brown

Streaming on: Starz/Hulu/Prime

RED and RED 2

Hawk’s summary: watch a bunch of retired secret agents who are “past their prime” be total badasses. Lots of humor, some excellent and fun action scenes. Doesn’t take itself too seriously and is really just about having a good time.

Starring: Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, John Malkovitch, Brian Cox, Marie-Louise Parker

Streaming on: Amazon Prime & Showtime

The Man from U.N.C.L.E

Hawk’s summary: loosely based on a 60’s tv show about an American CIA and Russian KGB agent who are partners, but this time with a spunky German mechanic thrown into the mix as they look to stop nuclear launch codes from falling into the wrong hands. Guy Ritchie has a lot of fun with this OT3. Fun spy movie, great chemistry between the three leads, great action and humor!

Starring: Henry Cavill, Alicia Vikander, Armie Hammer, Elizabeth Debicki, Hugh Grant, and that one white guy who’s always some sus dude (Jared Harris! Lmao)

Streaming on: rental on Prime or Youtube.

Sherlock Holmes & SH: Game of Shadows

Hawk’s summary: another fun series by Guy Ritchie (imo the first is much better though). RDJ and Jude Law have a great time playing off each other, and I love Rachel McAdams as Irene Adler. Jared Harris is in these too so I think he’s friend with Ritchie lmao but he does a fabulous job being manipulative. And the MUSIC!! Love it.

Staring: RDJ, Rachel McAdams, Jude Law, Mark Strong, Jared Harris

Streaming on: HBO Max

Get Out

Hawk’s summary: okay tbh I see this more as a psychological thriller than horror but I think it just really depends based on your own life experiences. “I would’ve voted for Obama a third time” lmaooo yeah that boy should’ve turned his ass around the second he hit that deer. Jordan Peele really did a great job with this film and it’s always an interesting watch.

Starring: Daniel Kaluuya, Lakeith Stanfield (he was AMAZING), Bradley Whitfield, Allison Williams, Catherine Keener, Caleb Landry Jones

Streaming on: another current rental (how obvious is it that I use alternate sources lmao)

[no gif for this one bc I know the movie does freak some people out]

Knives Out

Hawk’s summary: this movie really lived up to the hype. A fun mystery film with a few really good twists! Tbh idk who let Daniel Craig do the accent but it just works for the movie lmao. Also a good movie for the family bc each age group can relate really well to a group of characters.

Starring: Daniel Craig, Ana de Armas, Chris Evans, Jamie Lee Curtis, Christopher Plummer, that girl from Netflix, and Lakeith Stanfeild is there too!!

Stream on: Amazon Prime

Galaxy Quest

Hawk’s summary: if you’ve ever watched Star Trek or been to a Comic Con... yeah you need to watch this movie. Good gracious it’s hilarious. A bunch of actors from an ended Star Trek show are abducted by aliens who took their episodes to be historical records... and they actually have to play their parts in real life to save the day.

Starring: Sigorney Weaver, Alan Rickman, Tim Allen, Sam Rockwell, Tony Shalhoub, Missi Pyle

Streaming on: HBO Max

Let me know if y’all want a part 2! Stopping here for the night bc I hit the gif limit 😂

#hawk’s movie recs #what we do in the shadows #galaxy quest #the man from uncle #sherlock holmes #pirates of the caribbean #knives out #young frankenstein #blazing saddles #undercover brother #get out #red 2010 #red 2 #guy ritchie #movies #films #comedies #mel brooks

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chasing-sirius-in-circles · 3 years

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So a function of my little personal Italian American renaissance has gotten me thinking more about how even my weird ass mountain people family (I have only my uncle and dad on that side so past tense applies) would have been culturally Catholic. If great grandma G and great uncle R were in fact witches carrying on from an old Italian tradition, it would surely have been blended with some of that influence, and even in a non witchy capacity, that's a cultural legacy that's there--

What I'm getting at is that I have zero interest in Jesus or the bible (at least religiously for myself, I always want to know everything about culture and history and beliefs) but I would really like to learn more about all the other pieces of Catholicism--the rituals, other practices, and reasoning. And the truth of it, not the propaganda. So here are some study questions I'm leaving for myself that I welcome responses to if they spark a thought!

To research, answers and source suggestions welcome:

Confessional, historically: was that established as a means of controlling the population like a proto surveillance state wearing god camo, or as a genuine function of religious practice that served the populace as much as the church? Where does that originate?

Confessional historically: could you argue that, sociologically speaking, a space of total honesty beyond legal reach like that would have served people before the advent of talk therapy in many of the same ways as talk therapy would come to do later? As in, is it the same social resource niche/a means of filling the same or a very similar social need? The next time someone makes a joke about confession being stupid/laughable/weird would I be a nutjob if my reaction was "dude be nice. We don't shame people for utilizing a safe space to talk through their feelings and actions just because it's a god themed space."

Confessional today: I always hear people say "oh yeah if you're Catholic and you do something terrible you just have to confess and then say the right prayers enough times and it's all ok" but then every actual depiction of confession I've ever seen is more like "if you confess to something terrible you'll be told to pray to repent or for guidance or whatever but also the priest will talk through it with you and encourage you to make irl amends, not just say however many Hail Marys and call it good." I'm guessing the average Catholic experience is somewhere between these two, but what exactly is it like?

What is the difference between a mass and a service? Or a vesper (or is that the term for the kind of choral music used in vigils?) What exactly is a vigil as opposed to like, a night mass?

Ritual, offering, prayer: I see in movies sometimes this kind of bargaining with God type of prayer, like, "I lit a candle I took certain steps with holy water or somesuch (??? More info required I know I'm not articulating accurately, that's why they're study questions) and now I'm promising I'll go to church every Sunday until I die in a pew if you will do/help with/grant me [thing] O Lord." Is this typical? Is prayer a two way street, what you offer God and what you ask of God? Like, is *asking* a thing? Or are most prayers more like saying grace, a "this is a thing I am thanking you for" celebration of God without request or expectation, and the bargaining kind just shows up in movies because it makes a good plot point?

Ritual, offering, prayer: again with the cold and probably bold sociological takes, but how does lighting a candle for a loved one or appealing to a saint differ functionally from pre-christian ancestor or demigod worship? Are they functionally similar and it's the theological context that makes an important difference? Or are they culturally situated but still technically comparable?

How much acknowledgement of the technical presence of a divine feminine or a genderless God or holy spirit is there among modern practicing Catholics? Does anyone call it a divine feminine aspect, or is that a term outsiders apply but practitioners don't?

Is the devil really A Thing or is translating satan as the noun "adversary" actually more accurate? Is there one devil named Satan? Or is that an American bible belt thing better described some other way in a Catholic context, or no? If no, and there is literally a single identifiable being of evil in defiance of God, how did he get there? Why? Canonically, not according to reinterpretation by outside groups or cultural splinters that are super niche.

Evil continued: Demons. Canonically and not pop culturally, what's going on there?

Sin: is original sin "people are born evil" or does sin here mean any deviance from God/from a spiritual state, and would it be better stated as "we are born separated from the divine by default as corporeal and complex individuals?" By extension, is baptism important because an infant who dies will literally be condemned, or is more like wanting to give them a direct line back to the divine should they not make it to an age where they can actively seek God themselves? Like emergency lights for finding the way back? Does God actually care if an infant with zero control is or is not baptized, or is it something we as humans choose for our peace of mind?

Are relics still a thing? Especially outside of Europe and the general vicinity of early christianity in the Middle East/Levant? If I go to a large church in the US would I come across bones?

Burials and death: what's the attitude on embalming and cremation and burial and when that happens for modern catholics? Are modern Catholics down with ideas like ossuaries or catacombs? What about mass burial? Has the old timey attitude of "we are not our flesh and bone so if the churchyard gets full and the bones end up in a pile without individual identity that's fine" still around?

Interpretation: for modern Catholics, how literally do you read the bible? As a historical account, or as mytho-history that is often exaggerated (in a literary sense) or applied metaphorically? Are there young earth or anti-evolutionary Catholics or is that a uniquely American protestant angle? How much room do most practitioners allow for ideas like "yeah evolution is totally a thing and creation stories aren't supposed to be verbatim, but representative?"

Social: what is the modern zeitgeist in terms of loving ALL your neighbors and inclusivity v. judgement and discrimination? Is it a comparably variable set of attitudes like across protestant individuals, or is there a uniform attitude? Are modern Catholics actually likely to turn their backs on progressive politics if one pope supports them and the next doesn't, or is official church doctrine more of a lip service thing for the average practitioner these days?

#catholicism #catholic #catholic church #Christianity #to learn

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doomedandstoned · 3 years

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Russia’s ИЛ Share Their Stark Vision in Startling New Video

~By Billy Goate~

This week, we take a closer look at one of the bands featured in our new compilation, 'Doomed & Stoned in Russia (Vol. 1)' (2021), which was released in February. This is ИЛ from Moscow. Sometime after we reviewed their recent album 'Ересь' (2020), we received news that the band had a music video in the works to accompany it. It seemed high time for us to get to know this fascinating four-piece doom collective better.

What is ИЛ's origin story? In other words, how did the band start?

The band was founded in the summer of 2013 by the members of several Moscow doom/sludge metal bands, Predicted and Magnetic TarTrap, which subsequently disbanded. ИЛ ("IL") in English is silt – mud from the swamp. The name gave us the original theme for our first releases, which were much like sounds from the swamps. From the original line-up, vocalist/guitarist Vlad and bassist Nikolay are still in the band.

It is interesting to note that the drummers in ИЛ changed and we have a funny story connected with the fact that instead of one Sergey Vinogradov, an artist from Tula, came another Sergey Vinogradov. With the second Sergey, by the way, we recorded our best albums Нечисть (“Nechist”) and Ересь (“Heresy”), and now he is again in our lineup.

Initially, the chosen direction was sludge-doom with an admixture of drone and noise, but later the band changed its sound to the side of doom metal with death and black metal influences. It is because we grew musically with ИЛ, as if ИЛ was a living organism telling us what to do.

Our current line-up has a second guitarist, Stas from a black metal band ТУГА ("Tuga"), which is very close to us in spirit and theme and shares our rehearsal space, too. Some of our past members played in grindcore bands and others organized drone festivals. It’s classic for ИЛ that everyone listens to different music, yet are connected together by some unusual forces.

What kind of instruments, pedals, amps, and other gear did you use on your most recent album?

Regarding the amps, we do not have strict preferences, but our tastes stop at the classic amplifiers: Marshall, Engl, and the russian Sovtek and AMT. On such devices we recorded our best releases and with them they will sound in the original way.

In terms of drum equipment, our drummer prefers Zildjian, but also likes Masterwork or Stagg. Also, the Yamaha pedal was a pleasant discovery for him. We play in a very low tuning, so our guitars and sound are appropriate, one of the guitars is a baritone.

Usually in Russian venues, you don't have an opportunity to choose from what sound setup to play and you have to play on what is available, but we have learned to get the right sound in almost any situation. We are not “equip psychos” and we do not pray to the walls of Orange amplifiers.

Tell us about your most recent album — what are some of its themes and what inspired you to write the songs?

Many things inspired the theme of this album. First of all, it is the so-called Russian chthonic, Russian death, Russian witchcraft -- all that is characteristic of the dark side of our history, our legends, and beliefs. We have found many books related to these things and absorbed those images from there, which brought us to a deeper understanding of these things. And in many of our texts, our own mystical experiences associated with the world veiled around us: endless forests, fathomless swamps, as you know Russia is rich in such places.

Ересь by ИЛ

The album Heresy tells listeners about the path of a lyrical hero, who is lost in all this variety of horrors and nightmares accompanying Russian chthonic and implicitly striving for complete unnamed madness. As you see, his fate is depicted on the cover art of the album.

About the instrumental part, it is worth saying that we are fans of different genres of music, and each of those who compose it brings something of their own. On the one hand, we love doom metal in its stoner form, on the other hand black and death metal. The new album is closer to the last two genres, and we think it is good for us.

What are some of your other influences in the realm of music, art, literature, history, etc.?

Naturally, there were some influences here, we are inspired by Russian writers Pimen Karpov, who wrote about the terrible Russian sects (his books were actually burned by Synod of Russian orthodox church) and Kondratyev with his witchcraft novels. Collections of ancient Slavic curses and charms, which can hardly be found in paper form.

But of course we pay tribute in all of our releases, including this one, to Howard Phillips Lovecraft. We would even say that we sometimes alter his mysticism and pantheon in our own Russian way. He influenced our first band and continues to influence ИЛ, as well.

In videos and movies, we like surrealism: David Lynch, Jan Svankmajer, and Andrei Tarkovsky. Unfortunately, there are no good Lovecraft movies, but there are good board games with an atmosphere of his madness from FFG. Musically, we have been influenced by bands such as Winter, Electric Wizard, Cultes des Ghoules, Urfaust, Black Sabbath, Disembowelment, Cathedral, etc.

All of our art is drawn by one cool Russian artist: Vladimir Prokofiev. He understands as closely as possible the vision of our music and its design in visual terms, and creates his paintings under the impression of our descriptions and with all his skill. For example, five tarot cards (by the number of songs) are embedded in the vinyl of the Heresy album, each of which is drawn by him based on the text/

ИЛ — Ересь (official video)

Tell us about your new music video. Was it difficult to do? What steps did you take to make your vision a reality?

We've wanted to make a video for several years now and, to be honest, this is our second attempt. We think it is a success! All the work on filming, editing, and release was taken over by our friend Alexandr Swed. We will not describe the plot of the video for you, but if you have read this interview to the end, you will surely find echoes of the things that we described when we talked about the sources of inspiration. We would like to give the floor to Alexandr so that he could talk a little about the process and his vision of the picture, as well as his production.

Alexandr: I believe that the main thing in any business is to burn with an idea and the desire to implement it. This is exactly the case when all the people involved in the production gave themselves completely to this project.

I am extremely grateful to everyone. Thinking over an idea, shooting, and editing is half the battle, but it is teamwork to implement everything in a high quality way.

I'm just starting my way into music videos. This is the fourth music video that I've shot, but everything before that was frankly so-so, and I hope ИЛ's "Heresy" will become for me a starting point in the world of music videos.

Nowadays, it is not difficult to surprise with a beautiful picture, as there are much available film equipment, video editors, etc. And if your hands are not growing out of your ass, it is very difficult to get a bad picture. To hook with a plot, an idea, a video message -- this will be more difficult. Therefore, I try to include the maximum of any idea even in reportage videos. I also often shoot videos with a historical bias, narrative, art, and so forth. Come and see.

Follow The Band

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#D&S Interviews #ИЛ #IL #Moscow #Russia #doom #sludge #metal #doom metal #death doom #music video #Doomed and Stoned

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oracleofkairos · 3 years

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30 Questions For Your Guardian

These questions are taken from the post here by @fem-birb-woman, seemed like a good way to kick this off! 1.) What is your guardian’s name? What does it mean? What inspired you to choose that name for them? "The Oracle Of Kairos. I didn't choose it, but it was given to me by the followers of Osiris, after my frequent excursions into the Infinite Forest."

2.) What did your guardian name their ghost? What does it mean? What inspired them to choose that name?

"This here is Custode, means Guardian in a pre-collapse tongue. Little bit of a joke, but this little guy has seen me through many trials, and I'll know he always has my back."

3.) What is your guardians favorite weapon of choice? What mod do they use for it? Do they have a masterwork on it and if so, how many enemies have they killed with that weapon?

"The IKELOS_HC_V1.0.2 , a gift from Rasputin. I've tuned it to handle rank and file opponents, I have had the aid of others to bring it up to a masterwork of engineering, and frankly, I've lost count of how many this pistol has killed."

4.) Do they participate in the Crucible often or do they just go to complete the daily challenges? "I hate the crucible. I understand it's purpose, both for morale and training, but I still can't bring myself to enjoy getting curbstomped by other guardians."

5.) If your guardian had to choose to be another class, what class would they pick? Or would they stay the same? "I think I'd prefer to stay a Warlock, but I could see myself as a half-decent titan, but I'd be much more of a strategist than an unstoppable battering ram."

6.) What is their favorite subclass within their own class? "Stormcaller. I've always felt a more tangible tie to Arc energies, and since the reawakening of my light, that has only strengthened."

7.) What is their favorite subclass in a different class?

"Sentinel titans will always have my respect, they put themselves on the line to shield allies from harm, and they're very good at it."

8.) Would they rather receive a titan kiss ( a hard ass headbutt that mostly results in death ), asking a warlock a question that might result in a long explanation, or deciding to play the knife game with hunter and bet at high stakes? "Ask the question of a Warlock. I'd much rather have an interesting conversation than risk losing a body part, no matter how briefly."

9.) Would they prank other guardians or just their close friends? What kind of pranks would they pull?

"The Hijinks of the Drifter and Cayde always made me... Afraid, of pranks. I don't think I could bring myself to engage in such things."

10.) Which vanguard member to they like to hang out with the most? "I'm on good terms with both Ikora and Zavala, but I more often find myself discussing theories or new intrigues with Ikora whenever I stop by the tower. She's been a fine mentor and a better friend."

11.) Who would they fmk out of Skolas, Ghaul, and Calus? "Frankly, I hate everything about this question, but in the interest of honesty; Fuck Skolas, Marry Calus, and Kill Ghaul."

12.) What kind of hobbies do they do in their free time? Are there any particular skills they have that help them with this hobby(s)? "I've always found an interest in etchings and engravings, I've got a good hand from many hours with a pen, and that serves me to handle the tools when making carvings."

13.) What is their favorite armor set and what shader do they use for it? "Oddly, I've always been attached to the Exodus Down armor provided by Failsafe... It's always just... Fit me, in a way. Almost all our armor is perfectly tailored, but this runs deeper than that. And, in honor of the Followers of Osiris, I wear Kairos Bronze."

14.) Do they prefer silence or are they unbothered in loud areas? "Depends on what I'm doing, when studying or researching, I require quiet, but I do enjoy the bustle of the Tower when I need to relax."

15.) Are they afraid of storms? If so, is there a specific reason why? "To the contrary, I love storms. There's nothing better than wandering and just taking in the energy radiating from those electric clouds."

16.) Who were they before their ghost revived them? Do they know about this and if so how or what did they use to learn about themselves? "I know looking into such things is... Frowned on, but I have done some research into it. Between my own strange clicks, and the fact I was first revived on Nessus, I believe I may have been one of the crew or colonists aboard the Exodus Black."

17.) How close are your guardian and their ghost? If they are not close, would your guardian kill their ghost and choose to answer the darkness’ calls? "I love Custode. If anything were to happen to him, I'm not sure I could, or would want, to survive the experience."

18.) Would your guardian engage in a romantic relationship with Fallen, Cabal, Hive, etc? If so, what do they find attractive about the species? "This... Is an odd question, I suppose I couldn't deny the possibility of finding myself with a sentient member of any of those species. I wonder what a relationship with the hive would even be like..."

19.) Who is their favorite lore hero? Example, Jolder, Saint-14, Andal Brask, etc. Why is this person their favorite and in what ways do they inspire your guardian? What would your guardian say if they were face to face with them? "Osiris and Toland The Shattered. I could not hold them to the title of Hero, but I look to their works as examples on how to push the limits of Guardian knowledge, but also how to be mindful of the edges of madness."

20.) Does your guardian like plants? If so, what kinds? Do they prefer flowers or trees or shrubs? Would they start a garden?

"I do enjoy plants, and I actually have a small terrarium containing a blueberry bush inside my orbiter."

21.) If your guardian became obsessed with something, what would it be? "The infinite forest... I was... Unable, to resist the temptations of the possibilities within, and found myself lost for a long few years... I've only recently re-emerged, only to find Cayde dead, Osiris hostage, Mara, Saint, and others returned, and some mad scheme about swearing guardians to the darkness. It was... A difficult adjustment."

22.) Do they like reading books or watching movies or both? What genres are their favorites? Does their fireteam have the same taste? "I've always enjoyed both books and cinema, whenever I was invited to showing by other guardians. Historical fiction and high fantasy hold a special place in my heart, as they speak to our capacity for imagination."

23.) What kind of music do they like? Do they dance around anybody in any situation or in the privacy of their quarters? What would their favorite song from the Golden Age be? "I've always enjoyed Golden Age Classical, since I first heard it among Rasputin's broadcasts. And while I don't often dance, I do enjoy the occasional slow dance with a partner during The Dawning, or other festivals."

24.) What does their living space look like? Are there a bunch of pictures around or do Knick knacks cover the shelves? Do they enjoy bright, neutral, or dark colors? Would they purchase a fur rug? "I do my best to keep organized, but there's many, many little momentos of my travels, and it makes it difficult to keep things tidy. I prefer cooler colors, and I do have a fur rug I pinched from Clovis Bray's facilities. Bear, I think."

25.) Do they travel around the city often? If so, what are their favorite places to go and who do they go with? Are the civilians ever excited to see them or do they give them a look because of precious mishaps that resulted in property damage? "I often travel within the city, whether I'm visiting friends in the New Monarchy, or going to the various scrappers and book-vendors. I have a few good friends, and I do my best to be polite and respectful to all others."

26.) Are they good with kids? If not, how do they react when a child tries to talk to them? If they are good with kids, what kind of things do they do to entertain them? "I'm... Not amazing, with children. I enjoy their inquisitive nature, but I sometimes get too wrapped up in my explanations, and either scare them with things they didn't need to know, or leave them with more questions than they started with."

27.) Are they in love with Shaxx?

"No. In the words of a man with wisdom beyond his years; 'Every minute I spend in the crucible makes me wish I stayed dead.' "

28.) When your guardian sleeps, are they stiff and stay in one spot or wild and kick off the sheets? Do they have nightmares often and if so, about what? How often do they sleep? "Custode does his best to remind me to get a full nights sleep, and tells me he sometimes has to verify I'm still alive, given that I'm almost perfectly still. As for nightmares... They happen, especially after everything on the Moon."

29.) Do they enjoy coffee, tea, soda, or water? Would they mix all of these together and drink the liquid on a dare? "I'm partial to both Coffee and Tea, particularly one kind Eris was kind enough to make for me during our stay on Luna... And absolutely not."

30.) What about their personality attracts other guardians to them? What is it about other guardians that attracts your guardian to them?

"I enjoy other guardians with a passion for discovery and a desire for knowledge, and I often find others who seek me out for the same. Though there have been cases other guardians or fireteams have sought my guidance after my years in the Infinite Forest, hoping I have insight into future events."

#destiny the game #destiny guardians #destiny oc #destiny warlock

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bae-roman · 4 years

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do the weird headcanon thing with Roman and bunny plssssss

What they smell like:

Roman, of course, usually smells lile one of his many expensive colognes. Even after a shower or coming home from the gym, there’s always a faint trace of one of them on him somehow. As if years of using them have left him permanently stained.

While there are definitely times when the kids are all little that bunny smells baby barf, she normally smells sweet. Her favourite perfume is black opium by YSL but she also has some old favourites that she’s loved since high school. I’m talking about those old ass Victoria’s Secret body sprays here guys. Like bunny definitely has a couple bottles of lovespell lying around.

How they sleep (sleeping position, schedule, etc):

I wrote a whole thing about their sleeping position here but in terms of schedule, it varies on how old the kids are, how many times they have sex, nightmares (kids or theirs), if they’re fighting because then they’re both restless, and how early romans meetings start the next day.

Roman definitely gets nightmares and they can get pretty rough. Since they sleep so close, it def wakes bunny up and then she gets him up, repositions them so that he’s laying on her chest, and strokes his hair/forehead softly until he calms down and can fall back asleep.

Bunny also totally makes Roman get his peachy ass back in bed whenever he tries to get out. Like the moment she feels him start to leave the bed, she literally reaches out for him, grabs onto whatever part of him she can and mumbles something along the lines of “no come back. It’s still bedtime”. To this he just checks his schedule to see when his first meeting is, sighs, and gets back in bed telling her she only has another hour or two before he really needs to go.

What music they enjoy:

Bunny loves pretty much anything with a good beat. She likes stuff that gets her energy pumping and makes her want to dance.

She also has some favourites that are a bit slower when it fits her mood a bit better , like post Malone, Lana del Rey, Daniel Caesar.

And then of course she has the classics that she adores.

Roman loves LDR, mainly because bunny plays it 24/7. He also likes the darker classical music sometimes. His favourite genre is probably alternative rock.

Bonus: although neither of them actually enjoy it, by the time their on their 4th kid, they know every song to every Disney movie by heart.

How much time they spend getting ready every morning:

Roman - 1 hour and 15 minutes. He spends 45 minutes on his hair alone.

For bunny it depends on the occasion. If it’s on the daily or just to run errands, probably the same as Roman (including a shower but not including the many interruptions from the kiddos)

If they're going out then probably around 2 hours.

For anything, formal bunny would have her hair and makeup done so it could potentially take even longer.

Their favourite thing to collect:

Roman likes to collect expensive limited edition bottles of whisky. Bunny does the same with really old bottles of wine.

They are both travel bugs and bunny starts a family tradition where they take at least one picture all together at every location. She puts them all on one of those digital picture frames and has it in the living room.

Romans absolute favourite thing to collect, though, is based off his own tradition he starts with bunny.

So we all know they met at a club and went outside into an alley to fuck like ... well ... bunnies.

That becomes his thing. Whenever they travel, wherever they go, Roman Snaps a pic of them fucking in an alley.

Left or right-handed:

Both right-handed

Religion (if any):

Nope.

I’d say Roman was an atheist but then based on the church scene in season 3 I feel like he’s not 100% so I think he’s more agnostic?

Same with bunny tbh, shes never really thought about it and doesn’t care to.

Favourite sport:

Bunny doesn’t really have one but if you take her to a live game, she gets pretty into it.

Roman Likes most but his fave is probably basketball

Favourite touristy thing to do when travelling (museums, local food, sightseeing, etc):

All of it.

Bunny is a history nerd so she loves to hit up all the historical landmarks as well as the generic touristy stuff. She also likes to see all the local’s fave spots. When she goes to another country she wants to really see what life is like there, not just the basic stuff.

Roman likes to go to the finest, most expensive restaurants.

Favourite kind of weather:

Bunny loves the sun. That dry intense heat? Yes, please.

Roman likes autumn. Cold enough to wear the soft comfy sweaters he loves but warm enough to not need a parka over it.

A weird/obscure fear they have:

Bunny is terrified of storms and the dark. Like pitch black, power outage dark.

Romans is hospitals. Too many germs for sure

Their biggest ones have to do with their children though!

The carnival/arcade game they always win without fail:

Roman- wack-a-mole. Bby putting them anger issues to use!

Bunny is freakishly good at claw machines.

#Roman Godfrey #bunny and roman #bunny x roman #roman godfrey imagine #Dad Roman

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thegayfromrulid · 4 years

Note

Frkm 1 allll the way to 99. Also, the next SAO game eugeo lives as a sword and not die (thank GOD)

@2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars- I will not eat lollipops.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy! I actually get super bad headaches from bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably lonely genius...

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles!! I feel so fancy!! And old-timey.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I guess tomboy even though I’m a boy??

7. earbuds or headphones?

Aren’t these the same thing? I think I prefer over-ear headphones, but I don’t really like either.

8. movies or tv shows?

Depends on the genre I guess. But as a main rule, live action- movies, animated- TV shows.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Potato salad.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Frankly, I wasn’t good, but I was really good at pissing all the jocks off-

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

I make myself these homemade egg mcmuffins. I enjoy them a lot. I am very picky about breakfast.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I only have one and it’s very generic: The Gay From Rulid’s Playlist. Yes it’s on Spotify. Yes, it’s 99% anime openings and endings and maybe Bet On It from HSM2. Be ashamed of me. Go on.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard! Mine is a BNHA one I bought from an artist at Nekocon!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Either Sweet Tarts or Nerds.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

I usually have one leg tucked up under me and the other stretched out.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black and white pair of Skechers. They look like shit. They almost never are replaced by another shoe. Not even in the gross muggy heat.

18. ideal weather?

When it’s just warm enough to wear a t-shirt and sit in the sunshine, but cool enough that I’m not hot, and a little breeze is going. I think of this weather quite often.

19. sleeping position?

On my belly kinda spread out like a shounen protagonist.

21. obsession from childhood?

J.R.R. Tolkien. Have always been obsessed with him and his works.

22. role model?

Redundant, but Tolkien again. Linguist and writer. Living my dream.

23. strange habits?

I unplug things like microwaves, lamps, and TVs when I am done using them. Very little remains plugged in at my place. The modem, the fridge, and the clock. That is it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst. It’s my sister’s middle name. And I especially like the purple ones.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Blue by Eiffel 65. I don’t know why that song sticks out so much in my memory but it’s nostalgic for me. Tiny AJ hyperfixated on this song before anything else ya’ll.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Curl up in the sun on a blanket and nap.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Hot cocoa blanket cuddles.

28. five songs to describe you?

Uhhhh...I’m not very musically literate. Let’s go with Born This Way (the first person I came out to sent me that song so it feels special!), I’m Free to Be Me by Jamie Grace, Praying by Kesha, Shake It Off by Taylor Swift ( @delicateeuphorias would you believe it xD), and right now thinking about someone dear to me who’s been gone See You Again is stuck in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Arboretums or big botanical gardens where I can get lost in the plants for a moment and take in how pretty they all are. And old monuments/big things people of the past built. A lot of things were built by people with no rights/freedom and I think about them and how despite the fact that they had nothing, they made such a lasting impact on our world.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

*slips on my Owari no Seraph cosplay* I will kick ass in this sweet ass cape-

33. most used phrase in your phone?

My phone seems to think it’s “Kirito’s ass” and I want it to not think that.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

O-O-O-O’REILLYYYYYYYYYY’S...Autooo PARTS.

35. average time you fall asleep?

I’m an insomniac it could be 10 pm it could be 3 am who knows I sleep for an hour I’m up again...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Fucking CAN I HAS CHEEZBURGR cats.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

This all boils down to how much I’m packing. Going for a sleepover? Duffel. Going to con? My giant suitcase with room for all the bells and whistles of cosplay.

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Oh cruel I looooove lemon. The pie!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

In high school here- so, aside from me being the resident weirdo (I DID come to school dressed as the TARDIS), my senior class decided to squirt hundreds of bottles of chocolate syrup on the sidewalks. We were an open campus so it’s all in front of our classroom doors- we had no hallways. And then they. They fucking EGGED ALL THE DOORS. The whole campus smelled like...ick.

41. last person you texted?

My father and mother in a group text to cry about customers treating me poorly.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I prefer the jacket pockets because I still haven’t found a way to get men’s pants under the radar of my ever-watchful parents and women’s jeans pockets are SHITTY. Women gotta boycott this shit it is UNACCEPTABLE-

44. favorite scent for soap?

Peppermint...peppermint ^-^ I like to smell like...mint.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Recently I was reminded I live alone and my new favorite sleeping outfit...is...just some boxer shorts. Suck it dysphoria. Manly nightwear.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Pepper jack, Swiss, or ricotta.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Strawberry :3

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

I’m gonna sound so gay but when @disasterbikirito started laughing about a certain GIF and his laugh was so infectious I couldn’t help but laugh too.

51. current stresses?

Are you shitting me it’s everything. Every. Single. Thing. I cannot breathe. I am having meltdowns. Someone fucking save me I cannot deal with COVID well.

52. favorite font?

Garamond for writing in my free time, Doulous SIL for all the linguistics IPA symbols my greedy heart desires.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Smooth but my fingertips have been gnawed on. I am stressed, okay?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Gosh, lots of things. But the most important takeaway is that a good boss will genuinely care about you. I miss that man. He was so wonderful and so caring and taught me so much about theater. Technical things and artistic things and historical things. Sometimes I wish I could have made a career out of working under him.

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast (AH...AH...I SEE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES BECAUSE I’M TRANS. I KNOW. I *KNOW*.)

56. favorite tradition?

It’s a family tradition kinda unique to my household. Each year, we draw a name from a hat, and that name comes with a lot of words that describe us and what we liked over that year. We then each take a $20 bill and we go to a little hobby shop with cheap things in it and use that $20 bill to fill a Christmas stocking. We then hang them back up and empty the stocking full of candies and random silly things and have a good laugh and guess who filled whose stocking.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

The first one is coming to terms with knowing my dad has a severe illness. It really shook my family up, and it’s terrifying us right now with everything going on, but after a while, I learned that he was smiling, so I could smile, too.

The second one is my mother coming back from her tour in the Middle East on top of the murder of my godmother. Two very stressful things happened at once. My mother got very violent from her PTSD and her best friend died in a horrible way. It was an adjustment for everyone, and it kind of ripped my family to pieces. I can say, though, that my parents are still married and are getting better, and my sister and I are coming back to the family to be more open and healthy.

The third, and maybe some of my followers are aware, was getting rid of my ex-fiance. He was a man who sexually assaulted me repeatedly and I won’t go into details beyond that. It took me 5 years to get rid of him and accept what happened, but I am a much happier person now and while I work through the trauma that caused me, I have the most wonderful partner by my side and if you had told me back then I’d find someone as kind and patient and loving as him, I would have laughed and thought you were insane.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Probably what I put on all my fanfic updates: “I know. I’m an asshole.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Some kind of shoujo romance but it’s bi also I want a sword.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

There was nothing more smartass than Alice Synthesis 30 in SAO 18 asking a reporter to open up his head and prove he was human I’m sorry like OOF-

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Get in losers, we’re playing Steppin’ Out by FLOW, Elle me dit by Mika, Blue by Eiffel 65, ADAMAS by LiSA, and Touch Off by UVERworld.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

I was on Webkinz more than I want to admit.

65. any permanent scars?

Yup. I have one on my toe where I split the skin in half. I tripped. I have three surgical scars from when I had my appendix removed. And...the mystery scar. I was supposedly born with a scar it’s at the part where my foot meets my leg on my left side and you can see how it’s stretched over the years if you run your finger over it. The joke is that the doctor taking out my mom’s appendix scratched me in the womb.

67. good luck charms?

Not really a charm but I do have a little Kirito keychain I carry everywhere I go that I fiddle with when I’m nervous.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Artificial bubblegum. Disgustiiiing.

70. left or right handed?

I am right-handed.

71. least favorite pattern?

Zig-zags.

72. worst subject?

History...I am ashamed. It’s interesting, I just suck at it.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Gingerbread and marshmallow. I am a bit picky about mixing foods and flavors, so this was the weirdest I could think up.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Can you hear that? It’s my hysterical laughter. 12 on a scale of 10. I get up there pretty frequently. Thank you, chronic crippling pain.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I...I don’t remember...I don’t even remember...I think I had to be like what...kindergarten?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

THIS IS CRUEL I LOVE ALL POTATOS I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH-Au gratin.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Aloe!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Coffee from a gas station. Mark my words...I will never get grocery store sushi. Ever. Again. My stomach has not forgotten. What a mistake. That was.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

So, my driver’s license hasn’t had an updated photo since I was 15 and just had a learner’s so I look like I want to murder a man but my school ID I had just run about a mile in the cold because the bus wasn’t running that day and my face is red and I look like I’m crying...probably the school ID...

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones~~

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I am from the South and we call ‘em lightnin’ bugs.

82. pc or console?

Errrrr console. I’m not a gamer by any means but there’s way fewer things to press on a console controller.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Neither...what...no...neither...they will put me to sleep...I will be out in seconds...the most dangerous things...people talking...and then I’m out...

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, she’s a LOT easier to dress. Those rubber clothes. SMH.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies but they gotta be the soft ones.

87. your greatest fear?

Being swallowed in the ocean. By a fish or a whale. I don’t play. Church kid don’t play with big things in the ocean with big mouths.

88. your greatest wish?

To make enough of a difference in someone’s life that they learn to love themself.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Such a selfish thought...gosh...the mere thought of prioritizing someone troubles me.

90. luckiest mistake?

Telling a cute guy sending me dog pictures was an excellent flirting technique as he sent me pictures of his puppy. I immediately thought “oh god I’ve fucked up bad” and at present we’re kinda head over heels for one another so maybe just be stupidly blunt once and a while you might find true love.

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes. My cat didn’t force me to say that. Not at all. Sock, buddy, off the keyboard-

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight. I like the sun. The sun is my friend. It is warm and would never betray me.

93. nicknames?

Sister calls me “spoony” when she’s being ridiculous. No, I don’t know what that means. Mama calls me “cakes.” I had friends who called me “Deku” because I’m a crybaby. Had a few people DM me and straight up call me “Eugeo” or “Eug.” AJ is technically a nickname.

94. favorite season?

Springtime!!!!! It’s...HERE!

95. favorite app on your phone?

I use like three apps...so Discord.

96. desktop background?

It’s. It’s Kirito and Eugeo. What did you expect.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Mama’s, dad’s, mine, and my parents’ house number. And does the emergency 911 count (pahahaha).

(I answered the others in delicateeuphoria’s ask!)

#ask #ask me anything #weird asks that say a lot #ask game #weeaboo-god

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resievilchic96 · 6 years

Text

I was tagged by @theoracleofllaena to answer 11 questions here so let’s just skip the formalities and hop right to it, shall we?

1. What was your favorite era of animation? (eg. “golden age” or decades like 1980′s, etc)

I’d have to say any animation by Don Bluth b/c his style of animation very beautiful to me. I think his works range from the 80s to 90s to even 2000s with Titan A.E.

2. Is college/university a waste of money in your experience?

Yes, the costs are outrageous in several areas from classes to textbooks to dorms, hell even cafeteria food. I mean sure there’s scholarships,finanicial aid, loans, grants and such but come on. You have so many still paying off loans and are not able to secure their dream jobs yet b/c of the economy and times have massively changed. But college degrees are required on a lot of jobs out there so you got to do what you got to do.

3. What is your favorite “black sheep” video game, as in the worst-reviewed or least-popular game in a series?

I would have to say Tomb Raider Chronicles, I usually see that one end up really low on top games and ranked next to worst of all the Tomb Raider games. Most complaints were that if felt stale using the same engine and “been there done that” plots and gameplay but this was actually my first Tomb Raider game I ever played so it was all new to me then. I had fun with it and it still holds a special place in my heart b/c it got me into the series.

4. Add-on to previous question: Do you feel like long-term or “established” fans are too harmful to newcomers to a given franchise?(game/movie/book/whatever)

Some can sour the experience and be annoying as hell but not all long-term or “established” fans are bad just like not all “newer” fans are bad either. You’re gonna have your good and bad apples in any groups you come across. I say keep it small in fandoms, find your people you gel with and have fun.

5. What is the weirdest food you ate that you actually enjoyed?

Nacho cheese Doritos in a chive and onion cream cheese bagel sandwich. Brush your teeth after this fine snack so you don’t gross anyone out.

6. What is one dream you have had that you wish could come true? Alternate for people who can’t remember their dreams, how about a fantasy or day-dream?

Daydream wise I would say just that everyone is healthy,financially secure,no more diseases,killing, racism,homophobia,nazis and pedos. That would be a great thing to happen. We’d all be happy, that may seem boring to some but hey I’ll take it.

7. You are now given exactly one “save point” in real life, and you can reload your save as many times as you want, but the one save point stands. Where/when would you use it, if at all? (retroactive answers, such as placing the save point somewhere in your past, are acceptable)

I would use it in the summer of 1996 just so I could keep reloading the cool times I had with friends, plus reliving the games, movies,music,fashion,the fads, etc....

8. In fantasy/”historical” war media (comics, games, whatever), do you prefer they use real-life countries (eg. Age of Empires, Kingdom Come: Deliverance, etc) or fictional countries (eg. Calradia in the Mount & Blade series, Temeria/Nilfgaard in The Witcher, etc)?

I really don’t have a preference on that tbh. Just as long the plot/gameplay is fun.

9. If you had infinite budget and nobody would make fun of you, 100% guaranteed, what is the most ridiculous outfit you would wear for Halloween?

Taco Belle! Oh they could make fun of me all they want, my love for tacos kicks embarrassment’s ass any day!

10. What is your biggest guilty-pleasure in real life? (eg. slowing down in front of tailgaters, acting dumb to frustrate rude customers, etc)

Watching A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master b/c anyone else I know doesn’t care for that one in the Freddy series but it’s my favorite one to watch out of the whole series (despite the fact that it has the one insect I can’t deal with and that is roaches, go figure huh?)

11. Why are you still on this shitty blue hellsite?

Ah there’s the most important question of them all! Mutuals/friends do play a huge factor in my staying here b/c I have come across some really nice and awesome people on here that I enjoy conversing with. I also like some of the content, fan art, and edits ppl post on here in my favorite fandoms. Also my blog is more like a scrapbook of all the shit I like so whenever I get stressed or need a break, I like to go thru my archives to see the stuff I’ve reblogged whether it be recently or back when I first joined. It’s also neat to see how your tastes and views can change over time as well with looking back and forward.

This hellsite does have SOME good things about it in the sea of negativity, you just gotta look hard sometimes and the ppl you befriend along the way make it easier.

Alright that’s it! I’m supposed to make up 11 questions and tag 11 ppl with it? Afraid I’ll have to break that chain and not do it b/c of having less time to do so but if anyone wants to do this, just use these same questions and say I tagged you.

#tagged #11 questions #long post #i think it's a long post anyway

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captainderyn · 6 years

Text

Cipher Five (A Real Introduction)

Because I never formally introduced him, and I’m having fun with this character sheet.

Again, it was done by @therron-shan, gotta give credit where credit is due :D

(**Old drawing, think no scar..)

Preliminary Info:

Name: Valetyn Slovoko

Nicknames: Val, Vicky, Five

Alias(es): Cipher Five, Viktor Aulis (most used cover name, he introduced himself this way to people after he’s out of Intelligence as he doesn’t like giving his “real” name.

Age: 32

Born: 19 BTC? Maybe? Years work how?

Gender: Male

Species: Human

Affiliations:

Empire, Imperial Intelligence

Occupation:

Imperial Intelligence Agent--Cipher division, instructor at the Imperial Intelligence Academy (unwillingly at first) when he was on leave, mostly full time once he leaves Intelligence.

Physical:

General Description:

"Five...first time I met him I thought he was an ass, but intimidating. He practically had the agents in my training class falling at his feet, he’s got that whole ‘tall, dark’ thing going for him. I just wanted to fight the fabled Cipher Five. But he’s intimidating, cold and distant like he could kill you with his eyes only until you see him out of uniform *glares off camera* no not like that. When you see him outside of being an agent you get a softer person. Not different, not entirely, but like the harsh edges are softened...” --Erabelle Torven “Cipher Nine”

Height: 6′0

Weight: Somewhere in the 170lbs range

Hair: Dark dark brown, probably slicked back out of his face if he’s working, his wife would rather it be ruffled because then cowlicks start to form and she finds them adorable.

Eyes: Hazel eyes, leaning more on the brown end than green.

Skin/Fur: His skin has a naturally more tan tone, despite being stuck on Dromund Kaas most of his life.

Scars/Birthmarks/Etc.: He has a line of double scars going down his spine from between his shoulder blades all the way down his back with some larger scars crisscrossing over those from the accident that ended his agent days.

Tattoos/Markings: ---

Cybernetics: He has cybernetic implants along his spine after an accident in the field that caused severe injuries to his spine. Those cybernetics allow him to walk and function pretty normally, though they aren’t a solve all and he still suffers some on and off pain from the injury.

Handedness:

He’s left handed

Style:

Intelligence: In the field his favored uniform is black/very dark grey (unlike SOME agents, he says, glaring at Era, preening in her white/light grey uniform). He wears gloves to avoid leaving fingerprints everywhere in the field, and his uniform is lightly armored. The less bulky the better.

Civilian: He dresses classy, he dresses nice okay. I blame him growing up in Kaas City, where everything is high fashion. It’s easier for me to just post a picture than explaining:

Other:

He has a thick Imperial, Kaasian accent that comes through when he’s tired or very amped up/angry/whatever. His voice is very nice to listen to, it’s relatively deep and just has a soothing cadence to it. Unless he’s angry and then its sharp as a dagger and you better get ready to dodge.

Mental/Emotional:

Background/Backstory:

Five grew up under two military bred parents, his father from the Imperial Army, his mother from the Imperial Navy, in Kaas City. He led a pretty easy life and excelled in his schooling, finding a passion in history. He knew he wanted to go military-esc to serve the Empire, but when applying to a program initially for the Imperial Navy he was directed towards Imperial Intelligence as a best fit instead. He worked as an agent for ten years before being forced to retire.

Personality: Five is very logical, very analytical, and horrible with numbers. He’s highly intelligent and can read people quite well, something that has allowed him to do well in his field as opposed to somewhere like a Fixer or a Minder. Five has a passion for history and the habit of being able to remember random facts that he can pull at a single trigger. When he’s nervous he’ll start talking if it’s someone he’s comfortable with--like when he was going to propose to his now wife, he started talking about the art history of the resturant they were at.

Due to his time in Intelligence he’s developed quite a suspicion of people and is very much someone you can get the wrong first impression of. You need to work to get him to trust you and open up to you, otherwise he just comes across as a very quiet, rather rude and cold asshole. However, when you do unlock the actual man behind the agent mask he’s quite nice to be around, if you can handle the highly intelligent sort that always have a habit of guessing the twist on a holonet show before it actually happens.

Quirks: He doesn’t sleep much during his agent days and even after, he refuses to give his birth name to anyone but his wife--as she’s the one who realy gave it meaning again, he almost never will have his back to a door and will flinch if you surprise him from behind--ie, hand on his shoulder.

Disorders: Most likely some manner of PTSD after all he’s been through and seen, haven’t thought enough on it to expand comfortably.

Addictions:

Not a full blown addiction but for awhile he had a heavy reliance/quasi addiction to adrenaline stims so that he didn’t need to sleep and face what he’d see in his dreams. Eventually it becomes easier to be awake than it is to sleep.

Strengths:

He sees the Empire as what it could be, not venerating it for what it is, he’s quite methodical and careful in his work, he’s good at what he does.

Weaknesses:

He’s got a fricken attitude towards his superiors, but it’s all veiled jabs and insults, his old injury means he could seriously fuck himself up if not careful, he got too attached to his small gaggle of agent ducklings.

Likes: Helping his fellow ciphers, the idea of a better Empire, people who aren’t blind to the Empire’s flaws.

Dislikes: Sith, whoever in Intelligence thought it was a good idea to keyword Ciphers, people who are blind to the Empire’s flaws, ect.

Phobias/Fears: Losing control of his mind/body, hurting his wife or anyone close to him, his own mind in some sense, a suppressed one is losing his ability to walk.

Hobbies: Reading military texts and strategy books, good natured debating, learning all the history things he can, patting his cat.

Interests: History--both general and military, other cultures.

Favorite movies: He sleeps through more movies than he watches. Things that are either fairly lighthearted or related to historical events/retellings. His daughters have warmed him up to Space!Disney animated movies though he’ll roll his eyes at their cheesy messages.

Favorite music: Again, not much a music listener. If he had to choose it’d be of the classical type, or at least instrumental. Music soundtracks, orchestral movements, ect.

Favorite books: Shoot I already covered this (*smacks self* overzealous!). Hm, military histories, some historical fiction, some fantasy, though he’s picky.

Favorite TV shows: Whatever his wife will watch with him. Also things that make him think, with twists and stories and characters that are interesting.

Skills/Talents:

Habits: Being hyperaware of his surroundings, always checking the people around him, always being on high alert outside of the safety of his home.

Morality/Ethics:

I have these goals I need to meet and I follow my own morale code, if you cross the line of what I deem is right and you don’t have a valid reason for it then I have no problem doing what I have to do to you. There are things I need to do in my line of work that I am not okay with, such as needless killing, and if I can’t avoid it then I am deeply sorry.

Don’t hurt people who don’t need to be hurt, don’t make people needlessly suffer. Always be honest to what you do and accept the mistakes you make. Faction doesn’t justify wrong things that you do.

Goals:

Short Term: Survive raising two twin girls who are very energetic and enthusiastic about life, see that Daughter #1 (see family) makes it out of her own career alive and well and that she’s happy, build a normal life and adjust to a normal life with his family. Finish his own recovery from his injury/linger effects from Intelligence years and be there for said family.

Long Term: Survive raising two twin girls. That doesn’t go away. Reconnect with his own family on a better level, be happy.

Motivations:

His own drive for a long time, his passion for the Empire he knows can be born, then it shifts and its his wife, then his family as a whole.

Other:

He’s an introvert by nature and isn’t the most outgoing of people, he’s honestly rather reserved. But among a select few people he will open up a bit to show his sense of humor and be a little less quiet.

Relationships:

Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Bi/demi

Relationship History: Not good. He’s been in a few relationships and until his wife they’ve always crashed and burned as the people he was with couldn’t handle the intensity of his career and how he would be traveling more often than not.

Reputation: He doesn’t have a reputation relationship wise. As far as anyone in Intelligence knows he’s single and has been single. He’s usually known to be successful in missions where seduction is a key element, does that count? Gossip in the Academy when they learn about Cipher Five is that he’s hot??

Family:

Vitaliya Slovoko: Five’s younger sister. Four years his junior, a major in the Imperial Army by the time they reunite. She’s just as intelligent as he is but finds it best put to use in the context of strategic analysis in the Army. She’s run several successful operations in her time. The last time Five had direct contact with her before resuming it was when he was nineteen just before he became a Cipher Agent. He was close with her growing up, very much a protective older brother Now their relationship is rather cordial until they finally break through the ice and then they’re close af again. Tries to see some of her old brother shining through and sometimes presses a bit too much for it.

Anton Slovoko: Five’s father, retired from the Imperial Army where he was highly successful in support and leadership positions instead of combat positions. Regrets ever allowing his son to go into Imperial Intelligence, worries about Five even after they’ve reunited. He and Five have always had a pretty good relationship, he was the fastest to warm up to Five (Five as a person, not Valetyn, the son that left for the Academy) as he is when he returns. Probably the one that understands and respects Five’s nature the best and is the only one who just nods and accepts his request to not go by Valetyn (He goes by Viktor to everyone outside of his wife and to an extent Era).

Stasya Slovoko (nee Roksana): Five’s mother, ex Imperial Navy where she was a successful combatant/pilot. Thought for the longest time after Five cut off contact (rather unintentionally, he was stripped of most memories of familial ties upon his entrance into Intelligence) that her only son was dead. Hasn’t quite forgiven him or Intelligence for making him/self disappear, hasn’t entirely warmed back up to him. Part of her expects and wants her pre-Intelligence son back, the one who didn’t hold his blood family at an arms length, the one who wasn’t a little bent and broken whenever she looks at him. However she and Five are working on it, they’ve always had a slight tendency to knock heads after all, but they’re trying to work through it for her granddaughters/his daughters’ sake.

Erin and Claire Slovoko: Five and Thea (his wife)’s daughters, twins and too intelligent for their own good. The mirialan in their blood shows through more than the human, which sometimes doesn’t work in their favor in the Empire. They wrangle their father into princess parties and beg Auntie Era to paint his face into funny creatures. He let’s them, he loved his daughters more than anything and would do anything to protect them.

Erabelle Torven: Yup, she gets lumped in with family. Because she’s technically Daughter #1. Because Five took her under his wing when she was a wee little field agent first coming into the Cipher program and well, oops, now he’s stuck with her. Thea jokes that Era is their first child and she’s honestly a part of the family without question. She and Five are extremely close and have a lot more of a father-daughter relationship than say, a sibling-like bond or something.

Agent: He and Thea have a loth cat that they found as a kitten on the streets of Kaas that was jokingly called Agent until he started to respond to it and well..not the cat’s name is Agent. He’s like a big maine coon mixed with a loth cat and is a smug, cuddly bastard. He and Five get are best friends and Five loves his cat dearly. When Five came home injured, almost two weeks after he was supposed to come home the cat sat on his bed and belittled him in meows as cats tend to do for ten standard minutes.

Friends:

Noa: ...who belongs to @delavairesslegacy, obv, basically gets lumped into family as well considering she’s Era’s girlfriend and Five and Thea love her too. But they’re also friends, so to speak. They get along, he’s about as friendly as he can get. They meet officially through Era, but he nows her through Intelligence as Fixer Twenty-Four. He’s probably worked on a mission with her once or twice.

Most of the agents in the Cipher program: I headcanon them to be a fairly small, tightly knit group and he’s grown pretty close to the ones that have been around consistently. Of course, he’s been in the cipher program for close to 10 years, compared to the 5 that most get before they’re killed or disappear and with the ever revolving nature of the cipher program a lot of the agents by the time he retires are young. And since he’s usually tossed into teaching training classes at the Academy he’s had a hand in most of their training. So he’s like the mother duck of the cipher agents, hence the gaggle of agents mention. They’re all pretty close and support each other. The agent puppy pile is a thing, and when Five is being tested after his injury to assess that he really can’t serve the ones that are home at the time are there to support him and are sad (but also glad) that he’s released out of Intelligence.

Enemies:

There are too many to name, and none that have names that stand out to me rn.

Love Interest:

He’s married to @delavairesslegacy‘s Thea Xern. They met when they were both working (she’s an ex SIS agent), and she was interfering with his assassination mission. They infuriated each other, getting in the way of each other’s missions and such. TBH he antagonized her a bit, played games with the SIS agent. He got in trouble for a) letting her see his face by accident and b) doing an unsanctioned search for information on her (where he found mundane jobs listed that he called bullshit on) and was sent to a non combat posting to tie up loose ends and eliminate her, as a loose end. They met, she surrendered and said he could kill her as long as he helped her tie up her own loose ends. Being stuck on a ship for x amount of time later he couldn’t bring himself to kill her and offered to help her start a new life with a new name, no ties to the Republic, on a neutral world. No strings attached. She accepted and from time to time he would check on her, make sure that his connections were sound in what they’d provide for her. And from there they grew closer until they became involved, and eventually she moved to Dromund Kaas to live with him. Which means he may or may not have committed treason in bringing an ex SIS agent into the heart of the Empire. Oops.

Affiliations:

Imperial Agent:

Rank:

Cipher Agent

Known Aliases: Viktor Aulis, Daniil Antonov, Emil Nichevo

Weapons/Specs:

He’s well versed in both stealth/knife fighting like Era prefers, but his strength and preference has always been sniping. He prefers to shoot with a rifle.

Methods of getting information:

Five prefers to go for seduction and befriending rather than torture. He finds torture unnecessary and gruesome. If it comes down to it his veiled, elegant threats will put a blade to your throat but no torture.

Thoughts on the Republic:

He is loyal to the Empire, serves Intelligence to a point unless it conflicts with his own beliefs, but does not hate the Republic. He thinks they do some things wrong and that their supposed morale high ground isn’t as true as they’d like to convince themselves it is but being married to an ex Republic citizen has given him a new perspective, even if she’s not really a Republic patriot anymore.

Other Info:

He’s gone undercover on many occasions but has a general distaste for deep undercover missions. Especially deep undercover missions in the Republic, he thinks they’re tedious and often don’t gain the information they hope. That being said, he’s best suited for solo or pair missions (he and Era are a popular partnership) that involve being undercover to an extent or getting in and out without fuss. He does not enjoy desk work, he gets restless and much prefers to be out in the field.

Other Biographical Info:

Birthworld: Dromund Kaas

Homeworld: ...Dromund Kaas

Where is/are their stronghold(s) located? Where do they consider home?

His home is a modest now family sized apartment (they probably had to move once they realized they’d have two girls) on Dromund Kaas that’s filled with personality and life compared to his old apartment when it was just him, where it was furnished with the basic necessities and was only used as a brief check in point.

Familial Background:

He comes from a military family, and a successful one at that. He’s the first one in a few generations to go into Intelligence however.

Other Info:

A fun little fact; I’ve already mentioned this but Five is particular about names, just as Era is. So he introduces himself as Viktor to people, and Thea, Era and Noa are the only ones (outside his blood family) that know his real name. However Era refers to him as Five still and Noa probably calls him Viktor, as they both understand far to well how much names mean and how special they are for agents like Five and Era. Likewise, Era doesn’t tell Thea and Five her full name (Erabelle) until after the end of the canon story. Even then Thea calls her Belle and Five still has a habit of calling her Nine, though he’s started to call her Erabelle/Belle as well. Only Noa calls her Erabelle.

#swtor #imperial agent #oc: Five #oc: Era #other people's ocs: Thea #other people's ocs: noa #if we can't tell I have more about Five figured out than Tacka #I love Five #so much #like waaay too much #my lovely grumpy agent man #sorry @mobile user's dashes

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skarletterambles · 7 years

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Pirates of the Caribbean 5

I just got back from seeing Dead Men Tell No Tales. I have thoughts. Quite a few of them, actually.

I should preface this review by giving a bit of background on my involvement with this franchise. I saw the first PotC movie in the theater seven times. I saw Dead Man’s Chest three or four times and loved it. I saw At World’s End exactly once, hated it with the passion of a thousand burning suns, and never saw it again.

I was--and am--a hardcore Sparrabeth shipper. The canon status of Willabeth only explains part of my disillusionment with the franchise, however. My biggest problem was how Elizabeth had an amazing character arc over three films, going from a prim-and-proper governor’s daughter to the ass-kicking Pirate King, pursuing her dreams in defiance of society’s expectations, outwitting both the EITC and legendary pirates, leading an armada in battle...and then had it all stripped away at the end of the third movie, where she is left literally barefoot and pregnant to wait for her man to come back. I was--and am--livid. I felt betrayed, both as a fan and a feminist, to see one of my favorite characters do a 180 like that.

So I have very strong feelings about these movies. I’ve tried to get over it in the years since AWE, with limited success. Against my better judgment I did see On Stranger Tides in the theater, and thought it was mediocre. Since Elizabeth wasn’t involved I could just ignore its existence, for the most part.

Then the fifth movie was announced, and Will was going to be in it. I had hoped that maybe, just maybe they could try to rectify some of the mistakes (read: character assassination) of the past.

They didn’t. But they still came up with a pretty good movie. Honestly, I’d even give Dead Men Tell No Tales four stars out of five. I was riveted to the screen for most of it, and it was thrilling to hear the theme music and see the familiar faces. It was exciting and entertaining, the special effects were impressive, and there were some good laughs. Plus, zombie sharks!

Do I have issues with parts of it? Yeah. And I’m going to ramble at length.

**** MAJOR POTC: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES SPOILERS BELOW ****

Sequel creep is definitely at work, where each installment has to be bigger and zanier than the last. The gags are broader, the willing suspension of disbelief gets even more strained, the stakes are higher, and it becomes almost like a Saturday morning cartoon version of itself.

Thinking back to CotBP, we had to buy into the curse turning Barbossa and his crew into undead, but other than that the world operated on fairly realistic terms. Yes, there was movie logic involved as far as coincidences, travel times, fast wound recovery, and all that, but it still felt more or less like the real world. Stakes got higher with each sequel, until we have whatever the hell that “bank robbery” was in DMTNT.

Don’t get me wrong; it was an enjoyable action sequence, but it felt more like a cartoon than anything that could happen under the laws of physics as they exist in our world. That’s not inherently a bad thing, but the tone was noticeably different compared to the earlier films.

Moving on, I was glad Captain Salazar didn’t have that slurpy, blood-drooling voice through the entire film. When I first heard that in the early trailer I was both grossed out, and concerned that he would be hard to understand. Instead it was just that one scene, and he spoke normally the rest of the time. He was a great villain, from his badass and scary entrance through to his delightfully ironic death. He was genuinely threatening, which was kind of surprising considering the cartoony feel of some of the action scenes. Javier Bardem killed it. Thumbs up to him!

The legend surrounding the trident, and the map to find it, seemed cool until you thought about it for more than two seconds, and then it didn’t really make any sense. Calypso is the Sea Goddess in this universe, so where did Poseidon come in? How can his trident override curses that she put in place? If it could be broken by a single sword blow, how did it stay intact under the sea for (presumably) thousands of years? I mean, sure, maaaaaagic, but...eh.

And why did Will get all barnacley anyway? Elizabeth waited for him, so that part of the curse shouldn’t have kicked in.

And what will happen to the souls of the dead without the Dutchman to ferry them to the afterlife?

And what happened to Bootstrap Bill? Did Will figure out how to free him and let him move on to the afterlife?

And if breaking the trident cancelled all the curses related to the sea, how did Davy Jones appear in the after-credits scene? (Assuming it was him. The gait, crab claw, barnacles, tentacley silhouette and the music box theme all pointed to it being him, anyway.) I could almost buy him coming back to life when the curse was broken, but as a normal human again, not ol’ squidface. The mythology makes no damn sense at all!

This review is coming across pretty negative so far, but I really did enjoy the movie. I thought it was much better than OST, and felt like a return to the original vibe of the series. I thoroughly enjoyed watching (almost) every minute of it, and I left the theater grinning and humming the theme music. As a summer popcorn movie, it’s pretty great. It’s just when the adrenaline wears off and I start thinking and analyzing that I see the issues. And, like I said, I have a long history with this franchise, so overthinking it is what I do.

There were definitely some surprises, although I saw a couple of the twists coming. The instant I realized Carina was Hector’s daughter, I was like, “Well, he’s going to die saving her somehow.” And I was right. It was sad (and that damn monkey gave me more feels than any creepy little primate has a right to), but at the same time I’m delighted at how his character grew into so, so much more than he was originally planned to be. He was supposed to be a one-shot villain in CotBP, but Geoffrey Rush is so damn awesome, and he and Johnny Depp brainstormed a history between their characters, decided his first name was Hector, and one thing led to another and here we are, genuinely mourning him in the fifth movie. It was a worthy sendoff for a memorable character.

One of the themes that got raised over and over in the earlier movies was the idea that it’s possible to be a pirate and a good man. Bootstrap Bill Turner was. Jack is. Was Hector Barbossa a good man? I don’t know if I’d go that far, but he wasn’t 100% evil, either. And he was a lot of fun to watch.

Henry definitely reminded me of Will. He had the same wide-eyed earnestness about him, as well as the tendency to charge into danger because it’s the Right Thing To Do without thinking through the full plan first. Elizabeth’s legacy is a bit harder to see, except in the first two scenes. Keeping a secret stash of pirate memorabilia and legends? Totally Lizzie. Back-talking authority figures? Yep, Lizzie’s genes are in there. And later, in the jail, taking Jack’s ego down a peg by scoffing at his legendary reputation in comparison to the reality of a scruffy, rum-soaked pirate? Also from the Swann side of the family. So I think they did a pretty good job of making Henry his parents’ son.

I just wish we had more information on how he was raised, and where. I always imagined him scampering around Shipwreck Cove and up the rigging of Elizabeth’s ship(s), the mischievous pirate prince. Based on the house Elizabeth is living in at the end, and the fact that he was enlisted in the royal navy, I don’t see that happening in canon now.

When Carina was introduced I had a couple thoughts:

1. “I wonder if she’s related to any existing characters... No, don’t be silly. This isn’t a fanfic. They’re trying to move the franchise forward into the next generation.” (Or not.) 2. I don’t want to like her because no one can ever replace Elizabeth Freaking Swann the Pirate King as the best female character in these movies. And that’s still true, but she definitely grew on me. She had a fairly good balance of “smart woman who can take care of herself and doesn’t need a man to complete her story” and “too perfect to be likable or believable.” I could have done with a costume that didn’t draw quite so much attention to her heaving bosom, but I suppose there’s some vaguely historical style going on.

Honestly, there’s a reason her backstory could have been lifted from a story on Fanfiction.net circa 2004: those kinds of long-lost relative reveals can be a hell of a lot of fun. Especially when you have Jack there to tease “daddy” Hector mercilessly.

I’m glad they didn’t have her be Jack’s daughter, though. That thought crossed my mind, too, and that would have been...not good.

Pity Hector never got to introduce himself to Elizabeth and Will as the father of their potential daughter-in-law. Awwwwwkward! Bwahahaha!

Speaking of the dreaded Willabeth... Jack saw them smooching in his spyglass, made a face, and announced that it was a revolting sight. Same, Jack. Same.

Therein lies my biggest complaint about the movie, and, as I mentioned above, it’s just the latest sprout on a tree of dislike that I’ve been nursing since the ending of At World’s End was leaked. How in the seven hells they thought it was an appropriate, satisfying, logical plot development for Elizabeth Freaking Swann the Pirate King to end up standing around passively on a beach in a frilly dress and a fucking corset, waiting for the menfolk to do the important stuff, I will never, ever understand. It’s a slap in the face of everything her character arc was over the first three movies.

“Sure, little girls, you can have adventures and play pirate for awhile if you want to, but in the end you still have to get married, grow up, conform to society’s beauty standards, put aside those dreams, and take care of your husband and children.” Fuck that with a rusty garden trowel.

And here, when they had the chance to redeem that travesty, when they could have showed a glimpse of her at the helm of her own flagship, or holding court with the other Pirate Lords, or just simply wearing pirate-type clothes and carrying a sword, for the love of all things holy, did they do any of those things? Oh, no. No, they doubled down and had her be so passive that she didn’t even get to speak. (Doesn’t that mean they don’t have to pay Knightley as much?) Literally all she’s there for is to be a reward for Will upon his homecoming, and then sleep with him--on land in a fancy house that could have been in Port Royal, for all we know. Any journey her character had is moot. She’s back to square one, and it makes me want to throw things.

Oops, I was going to keep that rant short, and failed. Oh well, it’s a sore spot, obviously. I have never felt so betrayed by a franchise as I did when they did that to Elizabeth in AWE, and it still stings after all these years.

My ire didn’t even stem from my shipping preferences, although that certainly was salt in the wound. If they couldn’t give us a series of movies with Jack and Lizzie, the best pirates in the world, having amazing adventures while flirting like they did in DMC, at least they could have given us a sort of open ending, where she, Will and Jack all sail in their separate directions, knowing that their paths would cross in the future in any number of entertaining ways. I’m never sure if I should blame the writers, the studio, or the actors, or all of the above, but I would have bought, like, ALL THE TICKETS to see those movies.

But, alas, that’s not what we got. We got OST and DMTNT instead. OST was quite forgettable, but DMTNT packed a pretty good punch and I wouldn’t mind seeing it again. I won’t say it totally redeemed the franchise for me, but it’s got its head above water for the first time since DMC, so that’s progress.

Should you see it? Yeah, I think so. If you enjoyed the precious PotC movies, or just like pirate movies in general, it’s a fun couple hours. Just don’t think too hard about it afterward (like I did.)

#Pirates of the Caribbean #dead men tell no tales #movie review #sparrabeth #anti willabeth

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luckyricochet · 7 years

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Thank you TURN: Washington’s Spies

I just finished watching the series finale of Turn. Anyone who knows me well knows how much this shows means to me, so I’ve obviously got a lot of thoughts I want to get out of me. Long feelings and slight spoiler-y ramblings follow.

I first learned about the Culper Ring when I was fourteen, when I went to DC for the first time and visited Mount Vernon. There was this tiny movie screen that was playing a short clip about spies during the American Revolution. The narrator (Robert Townsend, lol) talked about all the different ways spies operated during the war, the invisible ink, the petticoats. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I never forgot that clip. I always hoped I could see something more on the Culper Ring beyond just some cheesy little bit at Mount Vernon--but knowing how historical dramas very rarely ever touched on topics I was interested in, and also realizing the obscurity of this particular topic, I never really got my hopes up.

Flash-forward a few years later. I learn that not only is there going to be a TV show about the American Revolution, which I had been dying for, but it was going to be about the exact very subject I had been most wanting to see on the screen. I am not exaggerating when it was truly a dream come true. Never in a million years did I think I’d ever see the Culper Ring on TV. I eagerly waited the next few months, jumping at every new promo and ad that was released. First thoughts: This Ben Tallmadge character is attractive. (No change there.)

I’ll be honest, it took me a bit to really get into the show. I wasn’t totally in love with any of the characters, and I honestly had a hard time following some of the plot lines. But would I keep watching it? Absolutely. Like I said, this was something I thought I would never have, so I’d support it no matter what. I remember being obsessed with ratings--they weren’t the best and I was so nervous, even expecting, to see one day TURN had been canceled. And then we weren’t, and I was again, thrilled. That’s just 10 more episodes about history I love.

Again, Season 2 didn’t grab me in right away. I actually didn’t watch it until it had completely finished airing. Seeing gifs of bby Lafayette on Tumblr definitely encouraged me to hurry my ass up and finish it, tbh. I watched it several times, until I had settled on a favorite character: Robert. With that, I was gone I watched his scenes on repeat, and I was suddenly so impatient for the next season, but I was again, so on edge about the ratings. I joined in on the #RenewTURN campaign, tweeting and commenting on Facebook--and huzzah! We were confirmed for a third season!

I think Season 3 is that one that fans agree is when shit reaallly started to hit the fan in the series. Things were really heating up. Each episode somehow was able to top the next. Plus this is the season when the Arnold-Andre plot was unfolding, in some sense the climax of the series. And I was of course overjoyed that Robert/Nick had been elevated to starring role. Anyway, this season is the starting point when TURN started to stress me out each episode. As usual, I was nervous again around renewal, but even more so because I really felt that we just needed to do it one more time, and then we could finish things out on our own terms. I would have been pissed beyond words if it had been canceled and over with the war still on. BUT IT WASN’T.

And now, Season 4. I was of course sad to come to terms it would be the last, but more relieved that us fans would be delivered a satisfying end to the whole adventure. And I say right now, on August 12, 2017, that we certainly were. This season was a nonstop thrill ride from start to beginning and I’m so glad I was able to be there for all of it. This final episode really hit me in all the right ways. The closing monologue was so beautiful. I really can’t describe it any other way. The writing, the music, the scenery, seeing all the characters with their resolutions--it honestly was so wonderful. I can’t have asked for a better way for a series to finish, especially one that means so much to me. It really broke my heart in a lot of ways, but I suppose that’s what good TV does. And I loved that it ended the way it began--Abe at his farm, playing with his son. I think that’s what made me so emotional. Abe, for all his faults, never once wavered in being nothing less than a loving father to Thomas. And to see him back in that role just brought everything full circle. It reminds you why Abe ever got involved in the Ring in the first place.

Thank you TURN, for an amazing cast and crew who indulge us with live-tweets and so many behind-the-scenes pictures and tid-bits. Not every fandom has that.

Thank you TURN, for keeping me on the edge of my seat more often that not. I usually don’t audibly react when I’m watching things, but I did on more than one occasion while watching this season.

Thank you TURN, for writing such brilliant characters and for giving ALL of them such complexity. The character development was seriously unreal, but Mary and Hewlett deserve special recognition. It’s been such a treat to see them change over the last four years. But also thank you for portraying some of my favorite figures in history so well: Washington, Lafayette.

Thank you TURN, for shining light on an otherwise oft-forgotten piece of history. For whatever reason, the American Revolution is strangely under-represented in the media. As my favorite time in history, I am so lucky to have 40 hours that bring it to life so vividly and accurately.

And so now I say goodbye to a show that has held a piece of my heart for the past four years. It now joins the likes of John Adams, Band of Brothers, and Rome as some of the best TV I’ve ever seen. Thank you, TURN. I’ll miss you immensely, but will be forever grateful for everything. It’s been so incredible.

#turn #turn amc #amc turn

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bloodbaptisedarchive-blog · 7 years

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REALLY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost , don’t reblog ! tag 10 ! good luck ! TAGGED. @judgmentcast, holy SHIT. TAGGING. literally ANYONE who’s up for a bit of a challenge.

BASICS. FULL NAME : Harmon Mallory James. NICKNAME : James, Mr. James, Senior Advisor Harmon James. AGE : Forty-two. BIRTHDAY : October 17th, 1998. ETHNIC GROUP : Caucasian. NATIONALITY : American. LANGUAGE / S : English. SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Homosexual. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Homoromantic. RELATIONSHIP STATUS : In a secret, long-term relationship with Minister Edwidge Owens. CLASS : Upper class. HOME TOWN / AREA : He was born in Boston, Massachusetts. CURRENT HOME : Washington, DC. PROFESSION : Senior Advisor to the Leader of the New Founding Fathers.

PHYSICAL. HAIR : Red. Much lighter when he was younger. Wavy. EYES : Bright blue, sunken. NOSE : Long with a slight downward hook. FACE : Defined smile lines, and other various lines and freckles. LIPS : Thin, small, and chapped. COMPLEXION : Pale, sickly, with light freckles peppered along his face. BLEMISHES : Nothing noticeable. SCARS : A few on his face, a couple from various other incidents. Burn scars on his hands. TATTOOS : None. HEIGHT : 6'6". WEIGHT : 185 lbs. BUILD : Slender, defined muscles in his arms, chest and legs. Sharp shoulders. FEATURES : Wide, sunken eyes. Large, gentle hands, folded at his chest. Painted fingernails. Intimidating stature. ALLERGIES : N/A. USUAL HAIR STYLE : Straightens his waves and slicks the whole thing back, parting it to the left. USUAL FACE LOOK : Expressionless. Ivory makeup still shows the freckles on his face. Though expressionless, he always tends to look alert, on his guard. USUAL CLOTHING : A suit, including a vest, ironed to crispness the day before. Suitable colours are grey, black, or beige. Ties, usually blue or red. A silver cross around his neck. Edwidge's promise ring on his middle left finger. Nails painted usually nude shades. Black or brown shoes shined until you can see your face in them.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S : Fear of imperfection. A slight fear of disappointment. Fear of being outed. ASPIRATION / S : To purge and purify: to rid the country of those that depend on them, them being the NFFA, the government, the healthcare system, housing, welfare. To make his superiors see that he can one day be as good as any of them. To lead the New Founding Fathers of America. POSITIVE TRAITS : Loyal, peaceful, spiritual, efficent, disciplined, aware, calm, intelligent, self-confident. NEGATIVE TRAITS : Hypocritical, overzealous, judgemental, blindly obidient, sadistic, insensitive, remorseless, blunt, withdrawn. MBTI : ISTJ, the Logistician. ZODIAC : Libra. TEMPERAMENT : Melancholic. SOUL TYPE / S : Thinker. ANIMALS : A wide-eyed owl, constantly observing. VICE HABIT / S : Vanity, a bit more concern about his appearance than most men his age. Overly critical of those in a lower position than him, even though he was once one of them. FAITH : What the NFFA deems to be Christian. GHOSTS ? : Yes. AFTERLIFE ? : Absolutely. He needs to go home sometime. REINCARNATION ? : Possibly. ALIENS ? : No. POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : Right-wing. ECONOMIC PREFERENCE : He has more than he knows what to do with. SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION : One of the 1%. EDUCATION LEVEL : University.

FAMILY. FATHER : Richard Allen James, the chief communications officer of ARCON and the first press secretary of the New Founding Fathers. Deceased. MOTHER : Caroline Ann James, a talented pianist and violinist, with dreams of playing with a famous orchestra. Still living. SIBLINGS : Seven. Sarah, Mary, Caleb, Lucas, Joanna, Michael & Hannah. Harmon is sixth. EXTENDED FAMILY : Aunts, uncles, several cousins, and a total of twenty-seven nieces & nephews. NAME MEANING / S : Harmon, "man of the army." Mallory, "ill fated." HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : Unknown. There is a place named Harmon mentioned in the Bible, but this place name is debatable. It's been thought of that Harmon James is a pun on "harming James," James being a leader of the early Church.

FAVOURITES. BOOK : Other than the Bible, specifically the Old Testament, he enjoys a good true crime novel now and again. Also, political biographies. MOVIE : Dramas, documentaries and psychological thrillers. 5 SONGS : (these remind me of him, not his own favourites.) The Sisters of Mercy - Driven Like The Snow. Frank Tovey - New Jerusalem. Cloudeater - Hollow. Fad Gadget - Under The Flag II. Nathan Whitehead - The Sacrifice. DEITY : A God who encourages a yearly slaughter of His creation. HOLIDAY : That blessed night, the one night the country does their bidding. MONTH : March. SEASON : Winter. PLACE : His home, Our Lady of Sorrows, or the NFFA's headquarters. WEATHER : Cloudy, foggy; a brisk morning that beckons snowfall. SOUND : The echo of footsteps walking across a marble floor. A choir of unintelligeble words. Wind whistling through telephone wires. Silence. The scream of a man, strapped down, a knife plunging into his heart. A siren. SCENT / S : The smoke from an extinguished flame. Stale. Eau de cologne. Hair gel. TASTE / S : Blood. Luxurious foods. Tea. Ice. FEEL / S : A shiver running down your spine. The touch of a hand when no one's around. The feeling someone's watching you when you're alone. Blood on your lips. A cold wind. Emptiness. ANIMAL / S : An owl seems to be the only thing I think of. Maybe an eagle. Harmon seems like a bird. NUMBER : Six. He's the sixth in his family, he stands at six feet and six inches tall... COLOUR : Blue, to show his loyalty to the NFFA. Red, the colour staining his hands. White, for the supposed purity of his soul.

EXTRA. TALENTS : His intelligence. His written communication skills. Most of his oral communication skills, his stutter stands in his way. Good with weapons. His knowledge of the human anatomy. He's fairly good at ice skating. Singing. BAD AT : Having a social life. Drawing. Being an enjoyable person. Smiling. TURN ONS : Men in positions of power. Voices that draw you in. Strong hands. Blood. Twisting a knife inside of a martyr. TURN OFFS : Anyone lower than his class. HOBBIES : Choir. Anything that involves assisting the NFFA. TROPES : Badass Long Robe. Dissonant Serenity. Giggling Villain. AESTHETIC TAGS : Blurry images. Graveyards. Blood covering hands, covering the Cross. Knives. Pale, trembling hands. Waves of blue. GPOY QUOTES : "You are never here. You are always almost there."

FC INFO. MAIN FC / S : Christopher James Baker. ALT FC / S : Mark Strickson (possibly.) OLDER FC / S : Not sure, but Robert Redford currently is a possibility. YOUNGER FC / S : Freddie Fox. VOICE CLAIM / S : CJB in "True Detective." GENDERBENT FC / S : Lisa Pelikan.

MUN QUESTIONS. Q1 : if you could write your character your way in their own movie , what would it be called , what style would it be filmed in , and what would it be about ? A1 : He has a movie, but he's not the focal point. He has his big moments though! I'd like to see more of Harmon in The Purge 4, since that will be more focused around the NFFA. The story of how a man becomes the way he is today, desensitised to death, wanting destruction, yearning for violence. What made him be this way? What would it be called? No idea. Q2 : what would their soundtrack / score sound like ? A2 : Ambient. Echoes where none of the words can be understood. A soft organ playing in the background. Suddenly, the music becomes a bit more intense... Q3 : why did you start writing this character ? A3 : I watched The Purge: Election Year, and immediately fell in love with him. I knew I had to do something, and this is what I chose to do. Q4 : what first attracted you to this character ? A4: June 30th, 2016. Around 9:00pm. I'm sitting front and centre watching the newest Purge film, a sequel in a franchise I've loved for three years. Charlie Roan is delivered to Our Lady of Sorrows. All of a sudden, this tall, thin, creepy fucker in a long blue robe makes his debut. Just the kind of character I love. I walked home that night, wrote "Harmon James can own my ass, what the fuck" into my phone, and knew this was the beginning of something beautiful. Q5 : describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse. A5 : He's everything I hate in a person. He dislikes everyone who isn't like him. He's almost every -phobic or -ist in the damn book. Q6 : what do you have in common with your muse ? A6 : We have blue eyes, and we laugh similarly. That's it. Q7 : how does your muse feel about you ? A7 : Harmon James would want me sacrificed. Q8 : what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ? A8 : Edwidge Owens. Thomas Roseland. Caleb Warrens. Harlan Coy. Claude Frollo. Richard Miller. Curtis Stafford. Leo Barnes. Charlie Roan. Ambrosia Reynolds. If I could ever actually get to plotting with other people, them as well. Q9 : what gives you inspiration to write your muse ? A9 : Watching Harmon's scenes! Listening to songs that remind me of him, like the Election Year soundtrack. Scrolling through the archive on his aesthetic blog. Being outside in the cold. Q10 : how long did this take you to complete ? A10 : I forgot about this for a good month. So a long time. Thanks, Ocelot. xo

#( holy FUCK this took me SO LONG )#( but here it is )#( I AM NOT MERCIFUL. AND I AM NOT KIND. )

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lins-fandom-hub · 5 years

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weird asks thing

from this post

okay here we go

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Tea cups and coffee mugs! Not that I’m a firm collector. I just happen to have them is all.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton Candy!!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Hyper, not very cooperative, loud

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles, though I wouldn’t mind glass cups.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Huh? I...tend to go casual, and the colour scheme doesn’t matter to me much. I’d say tomboy if I have to pick from this list though.

7. earbuds or headphones?

Headphones--if I could find a nice pair.

8. movies or tv shows?

Movies. I don’t know any TV shows.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Freshly cut grass after mowing the lawn.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Don’t even talk to me about P.E. The only thing I remember from it was the stress that dodgeball brought around.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Eggs, bread, oatmeal. Nothing too fancy. Sometimes I actually make a breakfast sandwich with avocados and cheese, but if said items weren’t in the fridge...

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Windows Down 2k18. Has tracks from many different artists and eras that I actually like to listen to. No classical though, that’s another playlist.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard. Can’t get enough of them back in university.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Fuzzy Peaches.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The Magician’s Nephew by C. S. Lewis.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Mermaid pose? On the floor, at least.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A pair of black Adidas shoes my mom recently bought this year for me and my sister. Turns out that my sister wears the white pair more while I wear the black. Not that I mind.

18. ideal weather?

Sunny with no chance of rain.

19. sleeping position?

Mostly on my right side all curled up.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Depends on my mood. Sometimes my computer for fanfic novels. Sometimes my notebook if I have secrets to spill.

21. obsession from childhood?

Does Disney count?

22. role model?

Idina Menzel.

23. strange habits?

Talking to myself (a lot), singing at my desk (or humming), twirling my pencil too much.

24. favorite crystal?

White Calcite.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Ummm...the wheels on the bus? I can’t remember.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk around the park and catch Pokemon (in Pokemon GO).

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Go ice skating!

28. five songs to describe you?

“Speechless” - Naomi Scott

“Blown Away” - Carrie Underwood

“I Dare You” - Bea Miller

“Bless Myself” - Lucy Hale

“Can’t Be Tamed” - Miley Cyrus

29. best way to bond with you?

Walk through the park with me. Or talk about stuff with me. Anything, really, so long as it doesn’t bore either of us.

30. places that you find sacred?

Any place that holds a tall temple.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

a pair of denim shorts and a black t-shirt. or if it’s in the winter, a pair of jeans and a comfy hoodie.

32. top five favorite vines?

I don’t watch vines. Welp.

33. most used phrase in your phone?

Welp.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

For a while it was this Liberty ad I remember watching while I was in the States, but that’s pretty much it...

35. average time you fall asleep?

On school nights, 12 am or so, maybe 2 am at latest. Right now, about 10 pm or so.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

anything involving grumpy cat.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase! Makes things feel more official.

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon meringue pie!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

At least once a term it’s turned into the biggest Humans vs Zombies war zone ever.

41. last person you texted?

my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets!

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodies!

44. favorite scent for soap?

Anything floral works.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

my pyjamas!

47. favorite type of cheese?

Havarti. But that’s because I eat it so often.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Probably a grape. Or a bunch of grapes.

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.” ~Thomas Jefferson

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Any GIF from Hamilton the Musical.

51. current stresses?

Job searching and updating stories on Wattpad.

52. favorite font?

Comic Sans--NOPE. Tahoma or Verdana, I guess.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Fairy smooth, I guess? Though the nails are misshapen due to my horrendous attempts at cutting them, and my pinkies are curved due to genetics passed down from generations past. Whee.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

I learned that not everyone will treat you with the same respect, and that you have to look past that flaw to give them a chance.

55. favorite fairy tale?

The Goose Girl.

56. favorite tradition?

Anything Chinese New Year related.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Depression in the wake of my grandfather’s death; lack of confidence after my parents’ condemning; lack of concentration following a head injury

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Playing the piano, playing the violin, singing on pitch, and opening bottles with lids screwed on too tightly.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Don’t even try to mess with me.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I don’t even know the first thing about Anime, so I don’t even know how to answer this.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“That’s my girlfriend, you numpties!” ~Ron Weasley

62. seven characters you relate to?

Anna - Frozen

Rapunzel - Tangled

Katniss - The Hunger Games

Tris - Divergent

Rowan - HPHM

[insert 2 other characters here]

63. five songs that would play in your club?

“Turn Down for What” - DJ Snake ft Lil John

“High Hopes” - Panic! At the Disco

“Dance, Dance” - Fall Out Boy

“Victorious” - P!ATD

“Kill This Love” - BLACKPINK

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkinz.com or Poptropica.com

65. any permanent scars?

One on my right knee from an unfortunate slip on ice in the winter four years ago.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Daisies, lilies, or tulips.

67. good luck charms?

depends on whatever holds more sentimental value. For now, it’s a little Niffler that I crocheted off a YouTube tutorial (and its name is Nuggets.)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

I typically don’t like anything too spicy, but I really hate the taste of mushrooms. Not the Asian ones--Baby Bellas, specifically. Just...no.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Currently not applicable.

70. left or right handed?

Right handed.

71. least favorite pattern?

Huh?

72. worst subject?

Gym.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

I’ll get back to you on that.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

7 or 8.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I was...five or six? Still fairly young.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Anything that’s a mix of fries or tater tots! Those are just--mm.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

I’m not much of a plant-grower but any small plant works fine.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Sushi from a grocery store, please.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

School ID photo.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies. What are lightning bugs??

82. pc or console?

Console--and here I wish I still had one!

83. writing or drawing?

Writing.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Talk radio.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie--mostly because I didn’t know Polly Pocket existed until I was like 10 or 11.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Fairy tales.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes! Cookies! Can I say both???

87. your greatest fear?

People stabbing me to death with nothing but words of betrayal on their lips.

88. your greatest wish?

Hey, if I told you that, it wouldn’t come true.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My little sister.

90. luckiest mistake?

Haven’t had any recently.

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight!

93. nicknames?

Never had any, though someone in an old English class I used to teach thought it’d be funny to call me Crayola.

94. favorite season?

Spring!

95. favorite app on your phone?

Pokemon GO for now.

96. desktop background?

A picture I took last summer of a monarch butterfly landing on a pink flower.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

None? Okay, like, 3, but mostly because they’re really important numbers.

98. favorite historical era?

Music speaking, the Classical era. Otherwise, I don’t know, I haven’t studied that extensively into history.

#this took me way too long #rip #about clara lin #about me #legit though

0 notes

mrmichaelchadler · 5 years

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The Right Side of History: Backstage at the 91st Academy Awards

“This is my sixth glass,” quipped Spike Lee, drink in hand, upon entering the press room of the 91st Academy Awards. “And you know why.” The trailblazing director of such masterworks as “Do the Right Thing” and “When the Levees Broke” had just earned an Oscar for adapting Ron Stallworth’s memoir into the acclaimed Best Picture contender, “BlacKkKlansman,” along with fellow scribes Charlie Wachtel, David Rabinowitz and Kevin Wilmott. What should’ve been a joyous victory became bittersweet at best when Peter Farrelly’s intensely divisive “Green Book” took the night’s top prize, besting a slew of titles that favored diversity and representation over old-fashioned comfort food. Lee’s film is as unsettling and immediate as Farrelly’s is reassuring and eager to please. The focus of “Green Book” is an interracial friendship between an Italian-American bouncer and the African-American pianist he’s been hired to drive on a concert tour across various southern states during the volatile 1960s. 29 years ago, Lee received his first Oscar nomination for “Do the Right Thing” in the screenplay category—and lost—while “Driving Miss Daisy,” a strikingly similar feel-good picture about an elderly white woman’s friendship with her black chauffeur, was crowned as the year’s best film.

“Every time somebody is driving somebody, I lose,” Lee laughed while cavorting about the press stage, which he visited in the aftermath of the telecast. “But they changed the seating arrangement.” When pressed for his thoughts on the film to which he lost the Best Picture prize, the director said, “I thought I was courtside at the Garden. The ref made a bad call.” Lee’s prolonged sipping of his drink spoke more volumes about his frustration than any fiery elaboration. Yet he still credited April Reign’s #OscarsSoWhite campaign and the efforts of former Academy president Cheryl Boone Isaacs in creating the path that led him to win his first competitive Oscar, just three years after he was given an Honorary Award for career achievement. He also reflected on the alarming relevance of “Do the Right Thing,” where he tackled not only racial tensions and police brutality but gentrification and global warming. I instantly flashed back to the film’s 25th anniversary screening at Ebertfest, when an audience member suggested that the events portrayed onscreen had little relation to the present. It was mere months later that Ferguson occurred—a real-life mirror image of the famous climatic sequence in Lee’s 1989 film. By ending the story of “BlacKkKlansman,” chronicling a black police officer’s infiltration of the Ku Klux Klan, with a sudden cut to the white supremacist demonstrations in modern-day Charlottesville, Lee reaffirms that racist movements are not only still active but woven into the fabric of our culture.

“The coda of this film is where we saw homegrown red, white and blue terrorism,” said Lee. “The murder of Heather Heyer was an American terrorist act. When that car drove down that crowded street in Charlottesville, Virginia, the President of the United States did not refute, did not denounce the Klan, the alt-right, and neo-Nazis. Whether we won Best Picture or not, this film will stand the test of time being on the right side of history.” Lee told the press in attendance that he had prepared two acceptance speeches, one featuring a list of people to thank and the other, more artful draft, which he decided to go with instead. “I said to myself, ‘Self, your black ass may not be up here again, so let me go with the speech,’” the director recounted, and it’s a good thing he made that decision, since it resulted in one of most stunning monologues in recent Oscar history.

“The word today is irony,” said Lee after arriving onstage. “The date is the 24th. The month is February, which also happens to be the shortest month of the year, which also happens to be Black History Month. The year 2019, the year 1619. History, Herstory. 1619 to 2019, 400 years. 400 years our ancestors were stolen from Mother Africa and brought to Jamestown, Virginia, enslaved. Our ancestors worked the land from can’t see in the morning to can’t see at night. My grandmother, Zimmie Shelton Reatha, who lived to be 100 years young, was a Spelman College graduate even though her mother was a slave. My grandma saved fifty years of Social Security checks to put her first grandchild—she called me Spikie Poo—through Morehouse College and NYU Grad Film. N.Y.U.! Before the world tonight, I give praise for our ancestors who helped build this country into what it is today along with the genocide of its native people. If we all connect with our ancestors, we will have love, wisdom, and will regain our humanity. It will be a powerful moment. The 2020 presidential election is around the corner. Let’s all mobilize. Let’s all be on the right side of history. Make the moral choice between love versus hate. Let’s do the right thing! You know I had to get that in there!”

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The applause from members of the press that greeted Farrelly and Nick Vallelonga, who shared Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay Oscars for “Green Book,” was conspicuously chilly when contrasted with the rapturous ovation that welcomed Lee moments later. Their film’s portrayal of the bond between Vallelonga’s father, Tony Lip (Viggo Mortensen), and the far more fascinating musician Dr. Don Shirley (Mahershala Ali), has been blasted as “a symphony of lies” by members of the late pianist’s family. Yet Vallelonga insisted that he told the story in the precise way that Shirley had instructed, arguing that this perspective on the subject is as valid as any.

“If you're discussing the Don Shirley family thing, that falls on me,” said Vallelonga. “Don Shirley himself told me not to speak to anyone. He told me the story that he wanted to tell. He protected his private life and all the other miraculous things about him. He's an amazing man. He told me, ‘If you're going to tell the story, you tell it from your father and me. No one else. Don't speak to anyone else. That's how you have to make it.’ He also told me not to make it until after he passed away. So I just kept my word to that man. I wish I could have reached out to Don Shirley's family. I didn't even know they really existed until after we were making the film, and we contacted his estate for music. Then the filmmakers invited them all to screenings and discussions. But I personally was not allowed to speak to his family, per Don Shirley's wishes. I'm an Italian from New York. They call that a stand-up guy. I kept my word to the man, and that's the reason for that. But Don Shirley and my father had an amazing story together. They went on the road and changed each other, and I think that comes out. That's why the film is what it is. It's because of the both of them.”

The pro-Trump tweet from 2015 that led Vallelonga to delete his Twitter once it was unearthed a month ago was echoed in a question directed to the filmmakers about whether Tony might’ve been a supporter of the current president.

“I never thought of him as a MAGA guy,” said Farrelly. “It's a different era, and whether he would have been one of those guys, I don't know. But he was a guy who was flawed in the beginning. For a couple of months, he was in a car with a man who was completely different from him, and they got to know each other, and they realized they had a lot more in common than they thought they did starting out on this journey. The message is, ‘Talk to each other, and you'll find out we all have a lot in common.’ It's a hopeful message, because sometimes it seems like there is no hope, but there is. All we have to do is talk, and we get closer together. I know that sounds corny and like, you know, Pollyanna-ish, but it's the truth. The only way to solve problems is to talk.”

Though Alfonso Cuarón’s widely perceived frontrunner, “Roma,” lost to “Green Book” in the Best Picture category, it did become the first Mexican nominee to win Best Foreign Film, and also picked up richly deserved honors for Best Director and Best Cinematography. Cuarón’s astonishing portrait of an indigenous maid in Mexico City who becomes a second mother to her client’s children was based on the actual woman who helped raise the filmmaker and his family during the turbulent early 70s. In his second acceptance speech of the night, Cuarón quoted French icon Claude Chabrol, who responded to a question about the New Wave by declaring, “There are no waves, there’s only ocean.” Cuarón then stressed that his fellow nominees, including Paweł Pawlikowski—who also directed an achingly personal, black and white stunner, “Cold War,” have proven that “we are all part of the same ocean.” The filmmaker also thanked the Academy for recognizing a film centering on “one of the 70 million domestic workers in the world without work rights, a character that has historically been relegated in the background in cinema. As artists our job is to look where others don’t. This responsibility becomes much more important in times when we are being encouraged to look away.”

In many ways, “Roma” serves as a spiritual companion piece to the director’s 2006 thriller, “Children of Men,” another immersive film tackling the challenge of bringing new life into a chaotic world. When I asked Cuarón about the parallels between these films, he replied, “I don't really see my films after I finish them. I prefer to see other people's movies. I don't really think so much about my films. I know that thematically and in terms of cinematic approach, they have a lot in common, but I would go farther back, probably to ‘Y Tu Mama Tambien,’ which is very connected to this film. But yeah, I will tell you something. The whole theme of birth—I was not even aware that I had been repeating that in my films until you journalists, people from the press and critics mentioned that. So yeah, I guess that there is a connection, but it's more up to you to find it.” Before he left the room, Cuarón expressed his gratitude to members of the press for being “amazingly respectful and supportive” to him during the long journey of awards season.

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Another interviewee who made a point of thanking critics, surprisingly enough, was Best Actor winner Rami Malek, star of Bryan Singer’s poorly reviewed yet phenomenally profitable Freddie Mercury biopic, “Bohemian Rhapsody.” His sincerity and sweetness were so infectious that it left no doubt as to why Academy voters favored him on their ballots, in addition to the fact that his performance single-handedly carries much of the picture. “I don't think critically the decision on this film was unanimous,” said Malek, dryly making the understatement of the evening in his first words to the press, “but I do appreciate everything you guys had to write. As a kid, I read criticism of film, and I learned so much from it. So no matter what, I still do very much appreciate you.”

Malek got choked up when recalling the “tough battle” of making the film—most of it attributed to Singer, the fired director and alleged perpetrator of sexual assault who still was never mentioned either on or offstage—and how unlikely his Oscar win was in light of it. He also spoke about growing up as a first-generation American, the son of Egyptian immigrants, and how his status as an outsider made it all the easier for him to identify with the lead vocalist of Queen.

“I grew up in a world where I never thought I was going to play the lead on ‘Mr. Robot’ because I never saw anyone in a lead role that looked like me,” said Malek. “I never thought that I could possibly play Freddie Mercury until I realized his name was Farrokh Bulsara, and that is the most powerful message that was sent to me from the beginning. That was the motivation that allowed me to say, ‘Oh, I can do this. That man steps on stage and he moves people in a way that no one else does. He has the ability to look everyone in the eye and see them for who they are. And that's because he was struggling to identify himself. All of that passion and virtue and everything burning inside of him allowed him to look to everybody else and say, ‘Hey, I see you.’ Not right here in the front—I see you there in the back. I see all of you, I will play to all of you, and together we will transcend. Because it's not about being from one place or looking like one thing, one race. Any of that. We are all human beings. And forgive me for this, but collectively we are all the champions.”

Mahershala Ali’s unwavering class and genuinely humble demeanor also led him to emerge unscathed from the controversy endured by his film, as he received his second best Supporting Actor statuette only two years after his win for “Moonlight.” In the press room, he spoke warmly about his fellow nominees, all of whom had roles that fit the definition of “supporting player” much more than Don Shirley, who is practically a co-lead in “Green Book.”

“Any of those gentlemen could have been up here and would be, obviously, deserving of being up here,” said Ali. “They did wonderful work, beautiful work, work that inspired me. So to be the one that was chosen to get to hold this trophy again, it's not something that I take lightly. It's not something I take for granted. If anything, it makes me more aware of all the people that have really contributed to my life, from childhood to my team that works on my behalf and is always looking to take advantage of the best opportunities that are fit for me. And so I'm very grateful. The first one helped me get ‘Green Book.’ I don't think if I had won—I wasn't just getting offers like that, you know. Getting an Oscar for ‘Moonlight’ changes your profile. It gets you in other rooms, and it shines a light on your work. You could have been around for 15, 20 years and suddenly people notice you. I’m really grateful for that, because I've been wanting to work and expand and stretch. This was the first time I got to stretch my legs.”

Whereas Malek and Ali were largely favored to win their respective categories, hardly anyone expected Olivia Colman to claim Best Actress over seven-time nominee Glenn Close, who was considered to be unbeatable after her surprise win at the Golden Globes. No one appeared to be as shocked as Colman, the brilliant British star of Yorgos Lanthimos’ “The Favourite,” whose speech was so endearingly gobsmacked that it even got a laugh out of Close. By the time she arrived in the press room, Colman was almost entirely at a loss for words. I told her that I knew she was one of the great actors as soon as I saw her in Paddy Considine’s 2011 gem, “Tyrannosaur,” and asked how she went about finding the tragic in the absurd—and vice versa—as the neurotic queen in Lanthimos’ film. “Well, that is lovely of you,” Colman gushed. “That is a lovely thing for you to say. Thank you very much.” And then with a giggle, she answered, “I don’t know…sorry!” Later she admitted, “I could not tell you what I'm feeling. Next year, I might be able to put it into words, but I don't know what to do with myself at the moment.”

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The pangs of disappointment undoubtedly experienced by Close were shared by your’s truly near the beginning of the telecast, when Jimi Chin and Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi’s visual powerhouse, “Free Solo,” won Best Documentary over Bing Liu’s Kartemquin production “Minding the Gap,” one of the very best films I’ve ever seen. So deeply was I invested in its victory that I wore a shirt baring its title under my tuxedo, if only to ensure that the film would have a presence in the press room regardless. Liu’s film is a testament to the cathartic power of cinema, enabling its subjects to see themselves reflected in each other’s story, as they open up about their experiences of domestic abuse and how it has shaped their young adulthood. I was reminded of the film when listening to the riveting words of Regina King, winner of Best Supporting Actress for “If Beale Street Could Talk,” directed by one of Liu’s most high-profile champions, Barry Jenkins. Recounting her most wrenching scene in the film, where her character, Sharon, encounters the woman who mistakenly believes she was raped by “Fonny” (the fiancé of Sharon’s daughter), King said she drew upon her own experiences as a woman.

“If we have not experienced a violation on that level firsthand, we have lifted a sister up through that,” King said. “Every woman that had something to do with this production [had] the understanding and the need to make sure that it was very clear in the story that we all knew that she was raped. It wasn't Fonny, but she was raped. And we hold each other up through a secret that shouldn't be a secret, so often. That's the beautiful thing about the #MeToo movement. It has gone beyond that with creating opportunities for women to find their voice—even beyond just being violated sexually, but being marginalized. When you have put in the work to be at the table and are denied a seat at the table, this movement has allowed us and has inspired us to say, ‘No, I am supposed to have a seat at that table.’ That energy was going on throughout the production of this film. Barry supported that and lifted it up as well. When you have men and women working together, pretty amazing things happen.”

There’s no question Lady Gaga would agree with King’s words, as she joined co-writers Mark Ronson, Anthony Rossomando and Andrew Wyatt in the press room following their Best Original Song win for their showstopper, “Shallow.” Gaga appeared with Bradley Cooper onstage for an uncommonly intimate performance on their signature tune, recapturing the chemistry that ignited their duets—both musical and otherwise—in the movie.

“There are many songs written for this film, but there was one song that was written with true, true friends of mine that I've known, and who know everything about me, the ups and the downs,” said Gaga. “And the truth is people see what they see on the outside. In some way, shape, or form, at times, we become architects. The truth is, I was so determined to live my dreams and yet there was so much in the way. There were so many things I did not anticipate that broke me, that tortured me, that traumatized me. And I think sometimes, what you are trying to clarify, is that people think that it comes easy to us because when we show up and we have our suits on, that it's all okay. But the truth is every single person on this stage has been through so much. We are friends. We have worked on ourselves in life. We have tried to heal through the torment of this industry and being artists. And the truth is that this is very, very hard work. It is not for the faint of heart. But I would never want to imply that anyone in the world is faint of heart. I wanted everyone tonight to feel like they could be each one of us on that stage.”

When she was handed her Oscar, Gaga said that she looked it in the eye and “saw a lot of pain. I saw all the things that I've been through. And I also felt the camaraderie and the truth of the pain that the men standing next to me have been through as well.”

“The song itself is a conversation, and it's between a man and a woman,” said Rossomando. “I think that maybe there's some timing involved where people's hearts are open to that conversation. Maybe that's why it's translated so widely. Someone sent me a couple videos this week of an entire church congregation singing the song. And it actually brought me to tears.”

“I really believe in my heart that the unfortunate truth is that our cell phones—as I watch you all typing—are becoming our reality,” said Gaga. “It's becoming reality for the world. And in this song, we provide not just a conversation, but also a very poignant statement. I wish to not be in the shallow, but I am. I wish to dive off the deep end, and watch me do it. I think this is something that speaks to many people. And during, I think, a very shallow time, it's a chance for us all to grab hands, dive off into the water together, and swim into the deepest depths of the ocean that we can.”

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Though “BlacKkKlansman” was passed over for considerably lighter fare in the top category, an equally incendiary picture went on to be named Best Live Action Short Film. Israeli director Guy Nattiv’s “Skin” centers on a family of white supremacists and the senseless violence waged by its monstrous patriarch. When he severely beats a black man for having a harmless interaction with his son in a supermarket, the hateful sadist eventually finds himself having what can only be defined as an out-of-body experience. Asked whether the film was intended to be a response to the racism frequently voiced by President Trump and members of his administration, producer Jamie Ray Newman said that she and Nattiv weren’t necessarily trying to make a political statement.

“Guy is the grandchild of four Holocaust survivors,” said Newman. “He grew up with stories about the Holocaust. I'm Jewish as well, and I think that we just deeply want to explore. In the short, we explored how what you teach your children is going to perpetuate the next generation. We have a five-month-old, so we see she's a sponge. Everything we do, she inherits. The film starts out with a father shaving his boy's head because he's literally carving him in his own image. And the feature, which is next, is a true story about a very famous skinhead who was covered in neo-Nazi tattoos, and through the collaboration with a black activist, got all of them taken off. I think that the beauty of Guy as a filmmaker is he doesn't pound anything over your head. He's subtle. He doesn’t have answers, but he shows you the questions.”

While watching the film, I was struck by its excerpted inclusion of Mica Levi’s indelible score for Jonathan Glazer’s “Under the Skin.” It’s something only film musical aficionados would likely spot, and I couldn’t resist asking Nattiv about his soundtrack choice, considering Levi is one of the most exciting composers working today. “Mica Levi is probably the musician that influenced me more than any musician right now,” he told me. “I’m very influenced by her work, and I think that our musician was too. Inspiration is what I would call it. I hope to work with Mica one day on my next film.”

It’s only fitting that “Captain Marvel” stars Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson presented Spike Lee with his Academy Award, seeing as Marvel had a hugely successful evening, with Ryan Coogler’s “Black Panther” scooping up three accolades including the first Oscar for Lee’s longtime costume designer Ruth Carter. As the first-ever black recipient of the prize, she admitted to the press that she had been dreaming and praying for this night to arrive because of what it would mean for the young people coming behind her. Carter said that her innovative use of 3-D printing may have “tipped the iceberg” in her favor. It was UCLA professor Julia Koerner who developed the algorithm for the isicholo—the South African married woman's hat—in her computer and sent it to Belgium for 3-D printing.

“There were several iterations of the ‘Black Panther’ story through every comic book writer and illustrator, but it all started with Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, and their idea that the black community in the 60s needed a superhero,” noted Carter. “And guess what? The black community in 2018 needed a superhero as well. So with that, we created a new Wakanda because it's a forward nation. It's forward in technology. So we couldn't really use the old tech from the other comics. We had to create new tech. And with that, the door was open to us to be creative. […] I love the neck rings from the Ndebele tribe. I love the use of leather skins from the Himba women. I love the symbolism of the beadwork on the Dora Milaje. I love how their costume honors the female form. It shows that you can also be beautiful and be a warrior without being exploited.”

Another key member of the “Black Panther” team, Hannah Beachler, also made history as the first black production designer to be honored with an Oscar. Fighting back tears, she credited Coogler with enabling her to stand before the audience “with agency and self-worth,” and likened the massive undertaking of the project to “eating an elephant one spoonful at a time.”

“A lot of the inspiration came from where we located Wakanda on the continent, because if people were going to migrate, they were going to migrate around that area,” said Beachler. “So we took a very anthropological look at how the country was placed on the continent, and then from there, you've got your Omo Valley tribes that are in southeast Ethiopia. It's like they migrated down to Wakanda, and that became our river tribe. These were our inspirations. We wanted to be as real as we could.”

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Few films I’ve seen in recent memory earned as euphoric a reaction as this year’s Oscar winner for Best Animated Feature, “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.” When the titular superhero’s co-creators Stan Lee and Steve Ditko, who both passed away last year, turned up at the end in a dedication card, the entire audience at my screening rose to its feet and cheered. After recounting this experience to the film’s trio of directors—Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman—they told me that they had intended on mentioning the late comic mavericks in their acceptance speech, but were cut off by the music.

“We were going to thank Stan Lee and Steve Ditko for really inspiring this whole thing, and for being a force of believing that all of us—human beings—have the potential and the capacity to be heroes,” Persichetti told me. “Phil and Chris had put together a treatment for us to make a movie that challenged the audience to believe in themselves, believe in their neighbor and really be positive and make a difference in the world. And possibly be a mentor or be heroic. That was really it.”

Joining the trio onstage were the film’s co-writer/producer Phil Lord and producer Chris Miller, the extraordinarily inventive duo behind “The Lego Movie,” who are fully committed to expanding representation in cinema, as evidenced by the vibrantly diverse ensemble in “Spider-Verse.”

“When we hear that somebody’s kid was watching the movie and turned to them and said, ‘He looks like me,’ or, ‘They speak Spanish like us,’ we feel like we already won,” said Lord in his acceptance speech.

“To be a storyteller, it's really just about connecting with your audience, whether it's your little kid that you are putting to sleep or, apparently, millions of people who go see your movie,” reflected Persichetti in the press room. “So I think it's just validation of being a human and sharing the experience of being a human. It's kind of an amazing career.”

Added Miller, “To feel like you have affected someone else's life positively, one way or another, is a really magical thing that we don't take lightly.”

After the briskly paced three-hour-and-17-minute telecast came to a crisp close, I ran into Bing Liu, his mother and “Minding the Gap” producer Diane Quon outside the Dolby Theatre. I showed them the shirt I had been wearing under my tux all night, and they insisted on taking a picture of it. Liu may not have gone home with an Oscar in hand last night, but I have no doubt that when he encounters someone whose life has been deeply impacted by his work, he knows in his heart of hearts that he’s already won.

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wishingfornever · 5 years

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12/26/17 – No Contact: Cobwebs

Current time is 1:14am. I have yet to do the dishes. Ended up procrastinating. I’ll do it before I go to bed.

I… well, Esther saved a bunch of messages on Snapchat. Old messages. Maybe from a year ago, before we became romantically involved perhaps? Perhaps after as well? Oh, it seems they were on January 18th of this year. Her birthday. These are things I told her. I’ll share them now: “I wish you could know yourself as I know you. It may not seem like it, but you’re strong. You’re tough. You’re resilient. You’ve done so much, you’ve withstood so much, and you’ve overcome so much. It may not seem like it, but I admire you. You’re like a mouse challenging a titan and somehow you’re still standing. You don’t need me. you’ve never needed me. I’m just lucky to come along for the ride. I’m not saying you’re invincible, but I swear it seems like it.”

“If [I] were blind, I’d still rate you a 10.” “I was fantasizing about us at my parent’s ranch. I sincerely believe you’d have a good influence on me. I’m imagining my dad embarrassing himself trying to talk to you. He’s been stumbling over his own words since I left for Texas.” “Team? You’re the one running the show. I just look cute in a skirt and wave pom poms around.” I believe we have an innate hive mind. All humans. Like, that’s how so many inventions happen at once all over the world. The Wright brothers with their plane? Other people were working on the same thing at the time and several actually flew. However, they could only [fly] straight.” “You will get along with my mom. When she was 18, she also moved out which was unheard of in Mexico. She and my grandmother didn’t speak for sometime when she did.” “Besides, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I love most about you is your charming and affectionate posts on Tumblr because it reflects a poetic and clever mind, but it helps. I can get in a conversation with you, I can engage you [mentally], I can learn and expand. Sex is just sex, but a beautiful mind is a difficult thing to find. I love you, Esther. Not because you’re cute or physically attractive. I love you because of your voice, your thoughts, your perspective and reasoning. You’re more than a pretty face. You’re beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful.” The words in brackets are words that had to be changed because the original word was missing or incorrect. Rather than explain it (because I definitely corrected it, but she didn’t save the correction) I’m just going to edit it ever so slightly. Also did some punctuation corrections but that doesn’t require brackets.

She and her mom had a falling out. It was sudden and she needed to get away. Basically, no one would take her in (or at least I was under the impression) and she had nowhere to go. People she had asked ended up flaking on her. So, she was basically going to be homeless. I asked Adela if we could take her in and eventually convinced her. I tried to keep our relationship secret at first, but when Esther arrived, I couldn’t. But I’ll get back to that later.

I was also living with my parents. The reason I was at Adela’s was because she needed a housesitter and I was too depressed back home. I felt ASHAMED that I’d have to bring Esther to live with myself and my parents, but I warmed up to the idea over time. Of course, I asked my mom to ask my dad because she’s more reasonable. Of course, she asked and they approved.

I basically built her up. A lot of bad things had happened to her, so I was trying to make sure she wouldn’t fall. This was big. She was happy. Hopeful. I didn’t want anything to stop that. And I’ve always been a bit of a hard ass because my dad was a hard ass, too. So, I told her I admired her. And I did. Only with her have I had a breakup this bad. She’s unique. Everything about her, everything I’ve felt because of her… it’s been unique.

The “If I were blind” comment. Accidentally said “you” in the original. Because blind women aren’t attractive. Kidding, of course. I’d still think she were beautiful if I were blind, meaning I didn’t need her to be attractive.

Back to the ranch thing… yeah, I was scared. I was very scared of having her there. I wanted to leave the ranch as soon as possible but it’s so FUCKING hard to get anywhere because it’s so remote. And summer… I hate summer. It literally drains me. I get so depressed during the summer. It’s bad. It’s like the flooding of the Nile. And my dad makes it worse. He always makes it worse.

Whatever. The point is, I had hoped she’d help me fight the summerly depression. I guess it was the worst depression of my life due to the event, but it was pretty bad before, too. I hate it. And of course, Esther says I don’t get to be depressed. I’m not allowed to… that’s not a good enough excuse.

Ugh… her oxytocin for Dennis.

Anyways, she said we made a pretty good team but really, I gave her a ton of control. She was doing her own thing and I was supporting her. I wanted her to feel like she was carrying the flag and leading the charge. That this was something she was doing herself.

The hivemind thing was me talking about how humans have similar ideas wherever they are. It springs up within a decade. Many historical coincidences. Not sure why she saved it; I guess she enjoyed my philosophy.

My mom is a trooper, too. Was hoping the similarities would inspire her.

And finally… yeah, I got very emotional. That was all written within 10 minutes of each other so were technically part of the same segment. Thus, I included them all together. I don’t think Esther got in a word. I loved her. I know you know, but I really did. I still do. I believed in us.

When the event was going down and we were still on somewhat good terms… we had a temporary motto. “In it for the long run.” Look at us now. She wants nothing to do with me and I’m still stuck on her. I’m still in it for the long run, but she stopped long ago. So, it’s a journey of love that I travel alone. Masturbation is my highway.

Alright, not that funny. Anyways, Ariel… the dog. She kept him from getting hit by a car or something? It was cold and he was scared and she held him and waited for the police to pick him up. The dog refused to leave her initially but eventually went with him and was returned to his people. So, the dog is fine and Ariel has good karma coming her way. I’m glad for her. :D Anyways, I’m going to turn on music and do the dishes. I’ll fuck around with the bathrooms and laundry tomorrow. Or later today? Whatever, the point is I’m off. See you in the next paragraph. For me, it’ll be a few hours. Good night.

And good morning. Or, rather, mid-day. Slept in.

So, I stayed up watching American Psycho last night. Had the dream of the sequel. It was a shitty dream, mostly because Max pooped in the room. I’ll tell you more about that when we get back from grocery shopping. Adela’s rushing me which is weird because while cleaning it up, she couldn’t have been slower. Brb

Apparently, we’re not grocery shopping. Max is going to the vet. We went out just to eat. D’oh! The purpose of eating out is so we don’t get crappy food for the rest of the week and just pig out. I suspect that’ll be an issue later, but whatever.

I think Max is just eating too much right now. The food he was switched to are these BIG cans for dogs larger than him. So, it’s discerning to say the least.

We’re trying to get the house to look presentable. Not sure if I mentioned this, but my mom is coming out in a few days a couple days ago. Which is to say, she’ll be here tomorrow.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Whatever. I’ll try to clean the poop a bit better because she’ll get the guest bedroom. Back when I lived on my own in Amarillo, I hated having her over. Not to sound ungrateful, but it’s such a burden. My mom can get kind of nosy, too. I’ll clean up my workspace, try to keep her from snooping on my writings. Also will probably lock my computer? Idk, yet. I guess it won’t matter. But, again, it’s such a hassle. Everything must be sooooooooo presentable. Don’t get me wrong, we clean up here but we don’t EXTENSIVELY clean everything like we do now.

She’ll only be here for ten days. Leaving next year on the 7th. Not so long. I’ll be sleeping on the couch and I probably won’t be on for very long.

Anyways, American Psycho… such a strange movie. Not sure how much of it was in Bateman’s head and what wasn’t. The scene with “Hip to be Square” reminds me of Walter. Sounds like him. Of course, Bale sounds like Jim Carrey a lot but also Walter. When he says, “Yes, it is!” that is something Walter would say in a tone he’d say it in.

Walter, of course, is a little guy. He wouldn’t pulverize someone with an axe. Of course, he’s had a tough history so I’m sure he’s bumped into people who have certainly deserved it and maybe he wanted to, but he’s not as self-centered as the Patrick Bateman. Walter is charitable and kind. Just talks the same way, is all.

Honestly, though, if it wasn’t for all the drugs and murder, I don’t think I’d mind being Bateman. I mean, he is SUCH a dick but his problem he has no financial issues. That’s… so nice. Financial issues suck hard. Then again, maybe that’s why he was very into drugs and murder. Because he had the money to afford it.

Of course, there are several theories suggesting he isn’t really Patrick Bateman and is someone who just took over his life/apartment/career and another saying he hasn’t murdered anyone which is why the characters he constantly interact with never dies. I thought about whether he actually killed anyone at all due to that whole Grand Theft Auto scene where he was basically playing GTA and murdered a bunch of people. Spoilers. Like, that killing spree… it was a bit too much. And he goes through the same building twice. Idk, it’s a movie that makes you think which is nice.

The sequel I saw earlier this year. It was… not the best, but it wasn’t the worst. As I said, I had a dream about it. Mila Kunis was just murdering people and eventually she walked away. During, I smelled dog crap but didn’t know what it was and ignored it. Then I woke up to Max poop all over the carpet. D’oh!

Got water and vinegar. Trying to get as much out of the carpet. Did a hard scrub before we left for food. I’m absolutely stuffed right now, still. Went to the bathroom, too. See, this is slowing down my weight goals.

Speaking of, today is… Tuesday? Tomorrow, I’ll weigh myself. Get in the habit of weighing myself every Wednesday. Except my mom will be here… for over a week. So, I won’t be able to measure myself because it’ll be in that room. And I just remembered, I won’t have a nice, private place to fap. And even if I find the time and place, my mom will probably be around the house so I can’t have noise on my porn if I choose to watch it.

My masturbation highway has turned into a no-fap detour.

Whatever. It’ll be fine.

Going to clean now. Before I do, I found a red hair recently. From my scalp. I have a few red hairs in my beard, but my scalp… and this was like… damn near scarlet. I thought it was discarded Christmas decoration at first. I, being the vain and possibly narcissistic bastard that I am, have considered getting some feminine products. Basically the hair color changers or whatever. Where it’s brown or black or blonde or whatever. Various colors that hide gray hairs. I think I also mentioned how I kind of want to get an implant in my left calf to make it look more even with the right calf.

The hair thing would be super temporary, though. Reason being is that if I enlist, then they’ll shave my head. No point in dying my hair if it’s going to get shaved off in about… four months? Yeah, just about considering it’s nearing the end of December. The calf implant though… it’d be expensive. Like, very expensive. Maybe military benefits would cover it? Then again, it’d be totally cosmetic, so unlikely.

Or actually… if I get sent to ANY foreign country, I can see if I can get stationed in a country that doesn’t naturally set the medical prices too high. But that’d mean I’d have to enlist for 4 years just to have some say. If you enlist only for 2, they’ll send you where they need you. With 4, you have some say of where you go. Or maybe I can just find a way to get to Spain to get the surgery there? Maybe take advantage of leave or something. But I’d have to find out the price.

Just looked it up. 4.5k to 6k dollars if I intend to get it. Then again, I only need one. And there is a chance that I won’t be able to walk right after. So, it might not be that expensive. You know, I could probably just get it in Mexico. “Oh, but the doctor’s are from a third world country and don’t know-” shut up. No. Just, shut up. If I get it in Mexico it won’t be any different from the US. The difference would be that I won’t be getting robbed. US doctors aren’t any better than foreign doctors. The price isn’t a reflection of quality. That’s why capitalism is failing and the US economy has been shit.

People like to say, “Oh, why you buying a $5 coffee everyday? Save your money and buy a house, you bums!” I saw that in a post and it was trending for a little while but it’s dumb. The idea of an economy is that people spend, not that they save. If they save, then there is no money running through. Think of the economy like a river, the more freely it runs the better. “Free market economy talk from a commie?” No, shut up and let me finish.

When you save money, your portion of the water isn’t running down the river. You’re basically building a dam. And then other people will ALSO save their money and they will ALSO build a damn. The more damns that are built means less water going down the river. It turns into a little stream and that’s not enough for the fish or the plants to get live and be watered so the ecosystem suffers. So, when people aren’t spending then the economy suffers.

People don’t make enough money to afford a $5 coffee every day. You’re being REALLY generous if you think so many people have a routine that involves spending $35 a week on coffee alone. The majority of people in the US live in debt. The majority of people in the US can’t afford jack shit. The majority of people in the US are actually REALLY poor. The entire concept of money is that it’s not infinite. That’s why it’s valuable.

Sorry, I left to clean some toilets. Adela isn’t back yet and it’s nearly 5.

Backing up to economics, people really should get $5 coffees. That’s part of the economy, after all. The people who serve those coffee need paying jobs, after all and it’s probably not paying enough for them to afford $5 coffees themselves. Of course, they’ll probably get free coffee because coffee shops are actually really good to their employees for some reason. Regardless, materialism is a good thing for the economy.

Went shopping. Alone. Adela came back and wanted to stay with Max which is fine. She gave me a list and everything as crossed off. Not sure I missed anything. Toilet is broken on the floor I use. It happened the first time I came out, too.

While shopping, I began texting Diana. Before shopping, I was messaging Daniel. I find him quite refreshing if not also perhaps a bit disheartening. He’s a reminder of the event, after all. The last link of whom I still speak with. He is kind, though. A better soul than Dennis or Shane.

He is quite stressed and he won’t tell me why. Not because he doesn’t want to share but because there is a lot on his mind. So much so that if he were to write it out for me, he joked he would get carpal tunnel. Which is a pity. So, I did what I normally do. I wrote propaganda. I tried to rebuild his morale. It began with him asking how I was able to stay happy… every day. He doesn’t know. All he knows is what I show. He only knows me for my smiles rather than the crippling emotions that hide behind my eyes. Every now and then, I’m overwhelmed and my eyes leak, emotion dripping like blood from a fresh wound.

I’m getting awfully poetic. Apologies, I decided to revisit the Grand Budapest Hotel. A delightful movie.

Anyways, I told him denial. I try to look towards the future. Told him I have goals that I’m close to achieving. Sometime in April, a new chapter of my life is to begin. I didn’t tell him that I will vanish. I didn’t tell him that I intend to escape from it all and enlist. I didn’t tell him that I intend to bring Ariel out before I finally flee. I smile to hide my sorrow. I smile because I know that soon, I shall flee. Melancholy is that of freedom; from myself and my past.

It’s not all negative. I told him that smiles are contagious. He smiles, the world will smile with him. I know this because when I smile, the world will smile with me. I also told him to find moments to just enjoy the little things and shared my Titanic reference from work. Only I laughed but that was more than enough laughter for one day. I also sent him to a video that Ariel sent me to. The one of the Indian guru talking about… smiles.

Diana was less sentimental. Rather, it was more trivial questions asking about sushi and bubble tea, asked her how her day was going and how she was spending it, told me that she was watching a series with her sister and continued to remind me how close with her family she is. She asked if I had any siblings.

Of course, I told her yes. Yes, but I wasn’t really close with any of them.

Hasn’t messaged me since then. Probably wise. I wonder how she sees me. I’m loud, energetic, eager, and always smiling. That’s how the customers tend to see me. Her? She’s starting to see more, perhaps. She may find it quite peculiar that I’m so happy yet so disconnected with my own family. Perhaps she’ll see the neurotic side Esther saw or thought she saw. I’m not even certain of my own mental stability.

Regardless, I wonder how much I should reveal to her. Diana actually reminds me of… Dennis, ironically. She has a My Chemical Romance sweater she wears while at work. Guess who was really into that emo stuff back in the day. Dennis was! There are other traits and sort of quirks that reminds me of him. Strange, really.

Of course, she’s not overweight. And she’s quite funny, her personality isn’t that of Dennis’s at all. Then again, she may be more vocal due to my being more vocal. I don’t know enough about her to make that decision yet. Of course, I know she has a strong family bond yet Dennis is not one for family, unfortunately.

Not trying to trash his name more than I already have, I’m similar in that aspect. My sister has never been the warmest and my father has never been the most understanding. When I left for Texas the first time, I drifted further away from my family. I fear one day, my sister and two half brothers… my cousins… my aunts and uncles… my own parents. They’ll become strangers to me. More than they already are, now.

I need to do laundry. It’s almost tomorrow. I can’t help but think of Esther now. Lately, the thought of her has become more prominent. Perhaps it’s because her birthday is coming up. Or because a year ago, she was all I could think about. I suspect… maybe my love for her will grow stronger and become a far more fierce obsession than it already has been. I worry. I hope she’s well. I hope her porn is selling. I hope for the best for her.

That’s all I can do. Soon, my hope for her will fade. My memories of her will fade. Everything about her will be gone. It’s unfair but it’s inevitable. I mourn her passing as if she was taken by death himself.

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ripsquadentllc-blog · 7 years

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Coming Out

First off, this is not a post about me coming out the closet. If anything, I’ll have these hoes coming out of them draws once they find out how good of a writer I am. This is a religious coming out. To be more specific, this is historical documentation of me coming to terms with my lack of religious beliefs.

Let’s go back-back in time. Growing up in a black household, I was pretty much indoctrinated into the Christian church. Church was a fairly big part of my childhood. We weren’t super religious, though. My dad wasn’t a deacon and my mom didn’t go around throwing holy water on people. She was from the south, so her roots in the church were probably a lot deeper than my pops’, who was from the east coast. This probably explains why he eventually stopped going to church with us.

I remember my mom waking me and my sister up early as hell every Sunday like it was a school day. I used to ask my mom why didn’t my pops have to go to church. The best answer she could come up with is “Your father is grown. When you grown, you can do whatever you want to do.” As a kid, that answer made a lot of sense. And I took it to heart.

I don’t remember much about our first church, but I do remember it was Baptist and all black. All that means, is it was filled with a bunch of upitty old black people hooting and hollering and pretending to “catch the holy ghost.” This is when I started hating church. Not only was I missing early morning cartoons, but I was always bored out of my mind. The only good thing that happened to me there was discovering Kirk Franklin. That nigga can make some good ass music. This was around kindergarten/1st grade.

Even though I hated church, I still believed in God and Jesus and all that other shit. I used to say grace before I ate and bedtime prayers before I slept. I even remember crying when I went to see House on Haunted Hill, because I thought God would be mad at me for watching it. That and it scared the shit out of me for some reason. I could watch any other scary movie just fine. That was the 1st time me and my pops left in the middle of a movie at the theaters. Looking back, I was acting like a little bitch, but I was young and didn’t know any better. I’m sure my pops made fun of me after that.

In the 3rd grade, I decided to conduct an experiment to see if God was real. To be more specific, I wanted to test whether or not prayer changed anything. At this point, I was going to an all black Christian private school. I had just been put in detention for something. Probably talking in class. I was so afraid of my parents finding out. I probably was receiving an ass whooping every few weeks for something bad I did at school. This one would’ve been the worst one yet, though. I decided to pray as hard as I could. I asked God to protect my little ass from my pops’ belt. I did my time in detention and my pops picked me up afterwards. My teacher never told my parents what happened.

It was a miracle! It was almost too good to be true. That was the 1st time I prayed for something and actually got it. I started thinking, though. Would the outcome have been the same whether I had prayed or not? I decided to test this by not praying any more. I wanted to see if my life would have any major changes if I stopped praying completely. My hypothesis checked out. I realized good things don’t happen because you pray for them; they just randomly happen the same way bad things do. That’s when I discovered that God was no different from Santa Claus. (Yeah, I was that kid telling all his friends Santa wasn’t real.) In the 4th grade, I said fuck God and embraced atheism.

Fast forward to high school. I was really feeling myself back then. I was still apart of the parochial school system and had been attending a white Lutheran church up until freshman year. The Lutheran schools and churches had the best Christian teachings in my opinion. They were so sure that they were right that I was required to study not only Christianity, but every other major religion as if they weren’t all essentially the same. The goal was to give me enough knowledge to defend my faith. All they had done for me was arm me with the knowledge to tear down any Christian theories.

My homeboys on my football team weren’t big on debating religion, so they were no fun when it came to the topic. I wasn’t arrogant enough to impose my lack of belief on my friends, however. They didn’t even realize I was an atheist until around junior year. They were shocked initially, but by then our friendship was strong enough to overshadow what any of us believed. We would rather argue over who the best rapper was any way.

My teachers on the other hand, had a few things to say. They didn’t find out I was athiest until my senior year. Ironically, I joined two gospel choirs that year. I figured it would help me get over my fear of singing in front of people. Plus I wanted to improve my singing technique. On top of that, the best singers are black church singers. On top of that, my girlfriend at the time was a choir director. I admired her pipes. She could really blow. And she had a fat booty.

Any way, back to my teachers. The 1st teacher that confronted me about my amazingly open mind was actually my religion teacher/football coach. Dude was super religious to the point where it seemed kind of creepy. Being a white guy with a thick ass pedofile mustache didn’t help either. He called me into his office and we chatted for a little while. He asked why I didn’t believe and I told him my 3rd grade detention story. He seemed pretty understanding. He told me prayer really does work and sent me on my way. I gained a little respect for him after that, just because he didn’t try to force Jesus down my throat like I was expecting.

The 2nd teacher to confront me was my football/basketball coach. I respected him because he was black, smart, cool and he genuinely wanted to help young black men succeed in life. He confronted me in front of the class one day. I’m sure he heard about my beliefs from the 1st coach or a teammate. He asked me why I didn’t believe. Instead of telling him my full story, I simply said, “The Bible is unbelievable.” He then asked me, “Why don’t you just believe just in case God is real?” Not only could I not believe in a god, but I couldn’t believe this silly ass question he asked me. I then had to explain to him that I highly doubt his “all-knowing” God would fall for something so childish. I went on to tell him that I couldn’t control my beliefs. If something seems wrong to me, I can’t trick my brain into believing it’s true.

(Damn, this is a long post)

{To read the rest of this shit, go to http://muffynman.com.}

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