#the thing is that i cant just endure it rn

[bunnihearted]

( real quick i just need to whine abt food again!!! i want chicken pita greek yoghurt w garlic feta cheese spinach tomato nd avacado sooooooo bad im abt to cry nd scream nd throw up nd kill !!!!!!!! )

#the thing is that i cant just endure it rn #bc there's a risk that even after surgery u wont be able to eat the same foods as before soooo #im not sure if im just waiting or if i'll never have it again </333 #straight up crying i just want to eat this todayyyy right noooooow #also i rllyyyyy want this chicken glass noodle salad my mom does #but it's spicy so idk if i'll ever be able to have it again im gnna KILL MYSELF.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#there should be a word for when youre talking around the tightness of tears #speaking against something that hurts #laughing specifically to undermine the seriousness of the statements youre voicing #the worst of both worlds. help me help me hahaha im not even joking hahaha but listen to the lies in my tone. dont focus on the words. #i want plausible deniability. but also i want u to understand my pain and give it a voice. speak it into existence because i cant say it #but if u do i might cry. that sounds hard that sounds like a lot. i kno i know. shut up. keep talking. do u think i dont feel it? i do #but if i split myself in two i can watch myself and suddenly it becomes funny. im not sure why. but i have a bad habbit of laughting at #inappropriate moments. because if its not funny then its just sad and what am i supposed to do with that? #i dunno. thats all to say my dad called bc i was looking at housing stuff and i was explaining some of the stuff im doing rn #and thats hard to talk abt without crying bc ive always been a cry bby but i didnt. and i love my parents theyre great #but they dont understand bc i havent told them all of it bc theres nothing they can do so y make them worry. and idk i also think they #think im less competent than i am. and part of that is just bc im their kid. part of that is bc there r things thst most ppl can do but i #struggle with. but its also not fun to hear: oh yeah i was surprised by how professional u sounded. or i think ur mom found u those #connections. when no. i did that. i made those things happen. i promise i can do things sometimes. but sometimes i cant. i dunno its just #it is what it is. whatever. decisions to b made. do i room with roommates for lower rent #or do i take an expensive place for a year for a single room? i dont want roommates but ill take them #i mean all the single places r like 950 at the very lowest without any utilities or anything but most r well over 1000 and like on a grad #student salary? i think not. not without losing money on net. i can deal with roommates. i have in the past. i wont b able to relax ever #but its fine. ya kno #just annoying. hah my dads sage advice was ah dont let it overwhelm u. go exercise. bc hes an endurance runner guy #and im like bro when i get home i have 1.5 hrs of daylight. but alas hes right. i do gotta run out my angers and its not enough #ugh. one more week. itll work out. and eventually ill walk into a counselors office like bro i just want u to tell me whether or not i have #0cd bc whatever the fuck it is that makes me do these things is absolutely destroying me. name the beast 0cd or 0cpd. tell me what box #i fit into. not that it matters but i feel like i cant complain until someone else rubber stamps me. actually then ill probably just obsess #abt how. actually. theyre wrong. ay fun times #i gotta shake shake shake my sillies out. and wiggle my waggles away. bc i never could let my kids songs go haha #unrelated

[mikkouille]

I've embarked myself into too much video game story it's all over now

#i was possessed couldnt stop #at last i go to bed. #last time finishing the expac did that except when i got to the trial i did get reasonable n stop to go to bed #this time i just went in (it went so badly fjdjdjs it was a struggle but twas fun in a way) both cuz i wanted to keep the high n i wanted #to know also and also smallest reason i felt agter seeing the guide that if i didnt go in immediately i never would vjfjdnsjs #see aforementioned disastrous go at the fight. it looked like itd be #twas for whole different reasons tho but man it was so messy gjgjfjdjejd i think once the chaos hit there was no return the disorganization? #but in hindsight. i only died of my mistake once. and it was just after being rezzed after the near wipe on attempt2 so. i dont count those. #i was blacked out being revived when boss casted his blizzard ofc i got frozen. #👈 excuses #its okayyyyyyyy we were all dying #n everytime i did catch a glance of the party list i wasnt at a healer spot so. granted idk how the healers could even do any damage #considering they had to just rez everyone all the time #how long was it into the fight that i glanced into the health of the boss in the middle of looking at everything but as i was just trying to #not die and keep punching— and that guy had basically not been damaged at all since the phase change cjfjdjsjks seeing that thing #near its half health 😮 oh we're never making it out #but we did! at what cost. #typin cuz i cant sleep rn. thoughts being thunked #im immensely sad i have to do fight replay in my head to not succumb to the sorrows of having endured it all emotionally. #it not being the fight the fight was fun 💗 #tho gotta say. on attempt two. i did wonder if we were over when i saw the lb. was like oh aint that too early #and then i died ☺️ so i was right. #i was right next to the tank who activated it too gbdjsjszj it was the end next time ill remember. stay away from the tanks til its late #time and thus survive if they do a timing mistake thru the power of the ripples like that one other girlie who made it out alive #OH SHIT realised its cuz of her that we kept going actually #had a moment of !?? both healers were dead.... the rdm save ofc #tho granted itd prolly have been much faster to jusg restart after checkpoint if checkpoint was real indeed. sunk cock fallacy.... #i sweated and shaked so much thru this encouted this was just like going thru ct the first time but more enjoyable. cuz i was dead the whole #time. just a few times #also nearly lost the qte both attempts!!?? any other qte before that was so fine and easy this one just shrunk so fast tho?

[1hyunjae]

School gives me such bad anxiety and i dont even know why 😭😭

Like. I think the occupation is enjoyable for the most part i love the kids really even when theyre rowdy or rude i still love them i dont know what it ISSSSS. I just wanna go back to being a student who only has themselves to worry about like i miss just being a student so bad but its 3 more months of this 😭😭😭 and im so scared too like what if this means i actually dont want to be or CANT be a teacher like why is this little internship already giving me so much anxiety

#it hasnt been this bad in quite a long time #since my own school days i think i havent had this super consistent prevalent anxiety #im just soooo . soooo thrown #i dont wanna do this #i know logically its completely normal to feel insecure at first and you need experience #and of course i know that theres many more factors like the fact that we dont get paid or that we will already have people coming to #evaluate us for whatever fucking reason and the fact that we have to do a #a research project simultaneously and lets not forget i also have to actually work and earn money #its just too much for me rn and when the kids dont listen i just get progressively more overwhelmed #and i dont know what to do bcs i also cant establish myself as a teacher yet cause im not doing all the things a teacher does #its just not a good situation rn guess i just have to endure this constant thrum of fear and panic until February hahah #wish i could just pass out mentally for the next 3 months that would be so awesome

[purrrrrrna]

x

#haven't been much online since its all a bit overwhelming rn #everything is messed up so bad i wanna cry #and with that im soo thankful for these boys #without them i wouldnt have been able to go about my day #idkw but im just feeling a lot lately and crying over just anything and everything #im soo distracted that i cant even study properly but if i dont then my life is ruined forever and that stresses me even more #leading to me not being able to concentrate again #i just come on over here to clear my mind but that also doesnt help all the time #i wish this didnt continue even now #god knows how much ive endured #but i dont want to complain for that because ik how things have been and no one can help with that #needed to let that out #big sigh #sorry :(

[clanoffelidae]

I have genuinely not gotten a decent night’s sleep since I started learning Blender on Sunday.

Is this the true Blender experience

#blender #blender 3d #lynx 3d #im slowly working on the donut tutorial #spent the last couple days working on getting the icing to look less floaty and more attached to the donut #trying to figure out the right angle to have my viewport oriented #and the correct range of the proportional editing tool #and which vertices i need to select #so i dont clip the whole damn thing into the 7th dimension #has been fun #i have frequently just been selecting individual vertices and adjusting it manually #and just living with the undersides of the icing being far less detailed #bc at least its not clipped entirely through the donut #there are multiple spikes on the inside of the donut’s mesh from vertices getting drug across the whole fucking thing #but its fine you cant see them theyre not there #just dont bite the donut #i do have a picture of this but i am on the bus to work rn alas #no donut time till this evening #this has been taking me days bc i can only endure so much at a time 😂 #the true blender experience 👌 #i am being initiated #also genuinely not joking about the sleep thing #idk whats up with that but i dont feel bad at least #just a little more tired than usual in the afternoon #idk my period should be soon maybe im pmsing who fuckin knows #or its the weather #who knows man

[mochinomnoms]

I cant stop thinking about ptm Yuus first time with Jade, and Yuu not being able to handle just how loving jade is.

WHAT HAVE YOU UDONE TO ME..

Jades thoughts already are so unhinged, either you have to endure repeats of “i loveyou youyouyouyou i love you so much my pretty pearl aaaahfjfjsl” or “i need to bend them over RIGHT NOW!! LEMME SWALLOW YOUR MOANS UP MY DEAR PEARL PLEASE IM BEGGING JUST ONE CRUMB OF ATTENTION”

Yuu probably just assumes his thoughts would be relatively the same as theyre stripped bare, lying on their back on jades bed, after they’ve (FINALLY) confessed their feelings and shit, but what yuu doesnt expect is just how.. incredibly soft and loving his thoughts are rn??

Hear me out: his thoughts are so FUCKING loud whenever hes in the same damn room as yuu. It doesnt matter if yuu is at the lecture hall, the cafeteria, or even the library. The daydreams and love bombs, the cooing, the “LOOK THIS WAY PLSPLS PRETTY PEARLLL” practically DEMAND your attention!! I mean jade just (sadly) overpowers every other thought the people near you have, but usually yuu can just push back those thoughts after slamming their head on the walls shaking and crying.

Now that you’re both finally alone (jade rejoices) its oddly quiet.. to yuus surprise jades thoughts have quieted down., almost hazy in a way as you just hear echoes of “my pearl is just so gorgeous .. is this really happening?”

“Oh sea witch they have a birthmark right there? Placed so perfectly i could just eat you right up youre so cuteettee”

“i love you, my dear. Im so lucky to have you”….and yuu just??? At this point they cant even differentiate whats coming out of jades mouth or not. It the best mix if “omfg am i high rn??” and pure bliss.

They might get overwhelmed to the point of tears because no way.. you really love me this much holy shit and also.. i cant believe i actually fell in love with you even though i tried so hard not to..and just.. THESE TWO MAKE ME SOFT OKAY??

just wanted to share my thoughts!! because god i just know jade would just non stop praise yuu over and over again whilst yuu is trying not to combust from how red their face is

BTWW I cannot thank you enough for your amazing work😭❤️ i love youre writing so much its sl silly and also touching at the same time <3

No no no no anon you're so right, I'm so glad you see it cause that's the whole thing with Jade and Yuu in PTM. Jade's so unhinged and full of yearning for Yuu that it makes him a lil more insane in the head. It's like when someone fantasizes about what they would do if they hypothetically won the lottery and then actually have to figure out what they'll do with the money.

#mochi asks #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #jade leech #jade leech x reader #ptm #ty ty anon im so glad you like it #also glad that the silly comes off well i love silliness

[prof-peach]

Hisui Chapter 2

guys. im doing a lot of planning and such rn, and let me just say im so incredibly glad i get to tell this story. I know the games been out forever now, i know were all bored of PLA, but I told myself i'd finish this project and i will. the next 3-4 years will be soley dedicated to it due to life changes, so hopefully the process will smooth out, but it is still just a one woman show, and i still gotta take on other work rn to pay bills, so i cant put the time into the Electus comic like id love to, YET.

I am however very emotional about the development of it all. I cant wait to share Peach's backstory in full detail, I cant wait for you all to see that first pannel where here real name is uttered and the terror hits her, or the moment she goes to do something so utterly stupid out of sheer gut reaction and ends up in a pickle. This story is so much about the little details, the things that we all love about the pokemon world, she'll teach Rei and in turn teach us the readers some cool facts. We will get blood shed, and drama and tears and treachery, and we get to do it all the while experiencing a woman learning to recover from a lifetime of trauma piled onto her shoulders.

we get to see her open up to people when she would never have before. We get peak Val and Peach content, them at their utter finest and truly lowest! we get to walk through memories, see what happened, and see how those moemnts shaped her.

I feel so passionate about showing a character who fails, who gets knocked down, who messes up, is human, makes mistakes, countless, stupid mistakes, and despite that, despite how many times she fails she doesnt quit, and thats what makes Peach who she is really. Tenacity, enduring, and despite her initial rage, she even learns patience.

idk, i just have strong opinions on this one, i wish i could gush about it all day long honestly, this adult take on a kids game makes me happy, and i get to fix the mistakes the creators made with PLA.

#im just feeling a lot right now #i did some plannign and noticed growth in this woman #prof.peach #pokemon

[the-s1lly-corner]

TADC X Skater reader, except the reader is new and has no idea how to skate and keeps falling all the time,,,

TADC cast x skater!reader !

Wasnt sure if you meant roller skate or skate boarding so I might flip flop between those two I hope that's okay! I also have a similar request for a roller skater reader that I answered a few days ago, which I will link at the end of this post!

Written in mobile!

Side thing idk if it's because I have so many requests rn or what, but I SWEAR my inbox is bugging, I keep seeing requests I didnt notice before... maybe I just accidentally overlooked them? But I SWEAR it wasnt there before because I have looked at my current inbox a dozen times now over the past few days

Idk

CAINE:

Regardless of if ypure a roller skater or a skate boarder, hell or even an ice skater; if you're having trouble keeping your balance, Caine will hover above you and steady you. Hands on your shoulders, or hands under your arms... he may even grab your hands and lift them up while guiding you

I think its very sweet

Manifests a digital cushion for when you fall over

Regardless of if your body is part skate, or you just skate as a hobby, he will cheer you on the same

POMNI:

Honestly you've probably slipped backwards and fell onto her. She probably makes a squeaky toy noise when your weight slams into her... good news about this being the digital world, neither of you are going to be significantly hurt!

If you're wearing skates you guys probably stumble and struggle to get back up... it's a little sad to watch..

RAGATHA:

Insists that you wear a helmet and knee pads. Like sure you cant get permanently hurt, but it makes her feel better !

Helps you try to keep you steady by putting her hands on your sides or shoulders... nervously walks beside you while helping you.. pro awkwardly hovers her hands over you as well as you get more confident with it

JAX:

Either will actually help you or may he a menace... "endurance training" but its actually not endurance training that's just what he says when he throws a bunch of those tiny bouncing rubber balls into your path

"Expect the unexpected " type shit

I mean he would still help you up, I think

Not many thoughts here <\3

KINGER:

Balances you by standing behind you and holding your hands/wrists up... kinda looks like you two are dancing or something. Except you're on a skateboard while he walks you around the floor

Very sweet about it

Kind of gives off the energy of a guardian trying to teach their kid how to ride a bike

Its sweet I think

I would let kinger teach me how to ride a bike

I still dont know how to ride a bike

Hes so so encouraging, too

ZOOBLE:

Thinks that you skate is cool.... oh, you're new to it..? show them what you got!

Oh...

OOOOH...

Ooooh noooo... you just face planted into the floor

I think they would also try to guide you threw it. Probably the only one I can see who skated before, though in their past life in the real world

Maybe jax did but idk

I think they would join you, besides they kind of wish to see if they csn relearn how to do it with their new body

Yay bonding activities

Not many ideas for zooble either.. sobs

GANGLE:

Unique take for gangle, imagine not only do you struggle to keep steady while you're skating, imagine you struggle with stopping. I think you can see how this goes. Imagine you accidentally ram into her while trying to stop.. I mean look at it this way... her ribbons get stuck in your wheels so technically.. you do stop..! Pleade be gentle picking her out... I can only imagine how gnarly that feels

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

[seiwas]

You are a little Ray of sunshine, fun and sweet, you seem like you enjoy the little moments in life, so I feel like you would be perfect for someone like Yuuji or Megumi. With Yuuji because I feel like you guys would be the cutest loveliest couple around, going on adventures and spontaneous dates together, you would match each other's energy so well, and you would cherish each other till the end of time, he would put you first and your needs over everything else always, your relationship would be filled with fun times, soft kisses and sweets moments, his protective carefree nature would make you swoon. If I could describe this relationship with aesthetics and music, I would say for aesthetics: Flowers, Amusement Parks, Desserts, Shiny Colorful lights, the end of summer, Converse shoes (the colorful ones), bear hugs and piggy back rides

For music: Starlight by Taylor Swift, Kiss me by Six Pence non the richer, Paper Boats by Isabella Levan, Could I Love You Anymore by Reneè Dominique and Jason Mraz, Moonlight and Daydreaming by Ariana Grande

With Megumi, because I feel like you would balance each other, he has this bold serious nature to him almost in a tsundere way but he would be so soft with you, always holding your hand, putting his arm in front of you if something feels wrong (he's protective) and even if he acts serious most of the time he would laugh at your jokes (you're the only one that knows he can laugh until his cheeks hurt, and more often than not at Yuuji's expense) with him, I can see stargazing dates at the rooftop (the highest building of course), probably shopping (he would act like he's tired to be there but he's happy to see you twirling around every time you find something you like, he would blush and murmur a soft "pretty" ) also Park dates probably after going for ice cream, you would sit on the grass and he would lay his head on your lap, closing his eyes and just enjoying each other's presence while you play with his hair, no need for words in that moment, but he would always listen to you, specially late at night in the dark of his room, just the dim light of the moon coming from the curtains, sharing whispered secrets.

For aesthetics: Stargazing, the start of spring, walking by the beach, fairy lights, holding hands, little notes on paper, matching keychains, museum dates.

For Music: Truly Madly Deeply by One direction, Moon and Back by Alice Krinstiansen, The Only Exception by Paramore, Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, Tattooed Heart by Ariana Grande and Electric Touch by Taylor Swift and Fall Out Boy

I'm sorry if this was too long hehe 🙈

Have a lovely day ❤️

tell me who you ship me with!

nonie… oh my goodness… i am just…. IN AWE 🥹 I CANT BELIEVE YOU SENT ME THIS 😭😭 i am sniffling rn crying oh god… how u called me a lil ray of sunshine ☀️ and said i enjoy the little moments in life (i do i do i do!!)

i see ur vision nonie oh god 🥹 i do love yuuji!!! i love he!! a love with him would be so sweet 🥺 and so fun!! spontaneous and silly definitely!! a love so fresh!! and free aaaaaah 💓 it would feel so happy 🥺

and megumi my boy!!! my lovely boy 🥺 a tender love!! quiet and shy but so sure 🥹 all the hushed secrets and things unspoken 🥺 secure in all the little moments!!! a love so enduring and devoted 💗

nonie u wrote me an ESSAY and sent me aesthetics and made me a lil PLAYLIST 🥺 and it’s not even for one man 😭 it’s for TWO and i love them BOTH 😭😭 my babyboy^tm 1 and babyboy^tm2 🥺 you are sososoososososos sweet!!! and this took so much effort omg it is only right i bring this vision of yours to life!!!!!! hehe i dont usually do selfshippy things but bc u so kindly shipped me w yuuji and megumi ! i brainstormed using the lil gifts u left me 🫶🏻

SUUJI 🌷— sel + yuuji

“you’re precious to me now… just like the sun.”

starlight / kiss me / paper boats / could i love you any more / moonlight / daydreamin’

SELMI 🐳 — sel + megumi

“kiss me underneath the moonlight.”

truly, madly, deeply / moon and back / the only exception / nothing else matters / tattooed heart / electric touch

#AAAAAH U R SO SWEET NONIE 🥺 #thNk you for this please !!!!!!! #aaaaah #pleade let me know what anon name to call u !! if u r here 🥺 u r so precious aaaah #anon #ask #rep #ask game #matcha latte #dilly helped me pick the ship names hihi #love u babie

[bunnihearted]

🎚🥀⛓

#it's so frustrating. i've been having bad anxiety everyday for a couple of months now #and i need to talk about it #but. now the psychiatric said that basically they have different sections responsible for different things. #and where im in contact with now said they dont think they can take me on as a patient bc they dont offer treatment for my issues basically #so they've sent a referral to a clinic for personality disorders #however... they said this can take time and i just have to wait. but i also dont know IF they'll offer me treatment or cant help me #apparently if i get worse i should contact my health care center... i had my last appt w the therapist there yesterday #so..... yeah im just supposed to keep waiting and get no help skskksks #i feel worse than ever rn and i just wanted to talk abt it w someone #'get worse' i am already drowning lmaooooooo #ig i just have to deal w it by myself and endure it. i journal abt it everyday but it isnt doing anything. whatever

[rush-the-stars]

idk what kinds horror in a/b/o you mean, but i immediately thought about the subtle horror in this reylo fic called "Until You" by ever-so-reylo on ao3 (sorry if you dont like reylo. i dont. but i recognize reylo authors can be BEASTS and i just use cognitive dissonance if i need it) where it's like.. horror in the sense of how society limits and treats omegas and it's all very normalized. like the fic describes a marriage pathway, alarms on doors, omegas cant be present to hear the results of their own doctor appointment, how not getting pregnant is reason for annulment, and so on, and it's just so wildly subtle in how horrific itd be to live like this and i think the scariest part is, in parts of this world rn, there are places where women are treated very similarly to this. it's a one-shot and not super long, and Kylo/Ben/whoever isnt a dickbag or anything, he treats Rey well, and the author is good about making a distinction between "this is how it is here" and "that doesnt mean its good or ideal or warranted" which i think just adds to the horror kinda sorta, i dunno, i could see you having fun writing about a similar kinda world

regardless, id love to hear more about how youd wanna add further horror to a/b/o, bc what i was talking about was Handmaid's Tale-adjacent (not that i like Handmaid's Tale bc the author's a fucking terf and also, m'am, that IS how the world is like for many woc in various parts of the world, it isnt "even more horrifying" having it happen to white women too jfc idk if it counts as "apocalyptic" if its happening here and now and no one seems to care tho; but you get what i mean when i name-drop it however. anyway. i digress) and im curious if you mean in a monster-fucker way or sex pollen way or what, i find the concept of a/b/o + horror fascinating so, again, id LOVE to hear more pls ♡

firstly anon thank you for coming into my inbox and taking the time to share all this with me!! it is greatly appreciated!!

now to get into this!! i’m gonna put this under a cut w some warnings just in case!!

cw: sexism, mentions of violence against women/feminist horror, reylo (LMAO SORRY), a/b/o, uh romantic cannibalism, blood

i am so sorry anon i detest reylo lol. and sorry if anyone follows me and likes them </3

also i think this is very fascinating that i mentioned horror and your mind jumped to what is essentially feminist horror! not a bad thing—just something observed!!

i personally read a lot of horror outside of fanfiction and i read a lot of feminist horror specifically. or i see or have been apart of plays/theater works/etc. that feature feminist/gender horror in various ways. i write short stories that are not fanfic about this topic as well, so with fanfic, i tend to avoid this a great deal! it’s an incredibly heavy topic and for a whole year last year, i had surrounded myself in it (and acted in shows where stage violence was enacted on me by men, acted in roles where i was often in distress because of male characters, acted in emotionally straining and difficult scenes) and realized i was actually…very drained. and learned what i liked to see in these stories and what i thought was needless violence against women reiterated again and again as torture porn of some kind. but long story short, fanfic was a reprieve of that for me!!

(i know you’re thinking—but cielo! you seem to love yandere content! and you are right! but i think all my yan content i enjoy is seeped in a warped love rather than a gendered violence. not that both can’t exist. it’s sticky.)

more than that, i am also interested in a/b/o that breaks gender constructs and dynamics in ways and is not just an afab omega enduring societal and personal violence!

the horror i was mentioning more i think had to do with body horror, possession (as in, almost…demonic. spiritual.), etc.! romance as a horror. (“but the horror? the horror was for love”)

blood lust being tied to heats/ruts. an omega, feverish and in heat, slick with blood and wild eyed. some romantic cannibalism with the way a bite is for claiming. it’s vampiric. it’s a devouring.

it’s a conjoining. a possession. two souls being forcibly twisted together. the horror of having only one true mate that you cannot choose. that is, for better or for worse, only yours. the horror of not just being yourself anymore, but someone else and vice versa. your uncontrollable “other half”.

sublime heats/ruts where you cannot tell what is real or not, shaky snapshots of mind melting ache and pain, only relieved by one person. hallucinations or ailments that come from deeply lonely and isolated omegas and alphas. nightmares when it reaches a fever pitch.

omegas with needle sharp teeth and so much hunger that need to feed and take relentlessly from alphas. omegas and alphas with eyes that glow in the dark and watch too keenly.

rituals where heats/ruts are watched, the horror of bareness and vulnerability. the horror of being an animal in a human skin. of your own desire or pleasure.

also just the horror of being dependent on someone. of needing someone so greatly you’ll be sick with it. the horror of being powerless to their love. the horror of their power over you. or yours over them.

the twisted care. i am interested in strange/more uncommon dynamics; alphas who are nurturing and motherly in awful ways. who hand feed and coddle and smother. omegas who are possessive and violent towards other alphas or omegas.

i just think there is A LOT that could be played with. thought of. messed around with.

i also think we don’t see enough historical au with a/b/o….i’m thinking also gothic-style. western man vs. nature. cowboy a/b/o…victorian…ancient civilization….etc.

anyways, i hope you don’t take this as me like scolding you or hating on what you’ve said in any way—defs not that!! i just had a different sort of horror in mind!! like i said, fanfic for me is all about romance at its core! it’s a reprieve and escape from the work and art that often is very serious and heavy (whether feminist/gender horror, capitalist horror, etc. etc.) that i usually spend my time creating or apart of in my day to day life! it’s deeply important work to me, just not something i wanna do here really!!

#anon thank you for your thoughts!!! #i am so sorry i hate reylo a great deal </3 #i just dislike kylo ren a lot sorry sorry sorry #star wars is a whole other can of worms i CANNOT open #ANYWAYS! #sorry this got rambly and long!! #i can also elaborate or answer other questions i’m not scared of a healthy back and forth #just my thoughts on it all! #cielo chats! #cielo rambles!

[tahtahfornow]

snippet whateverday

ahh thank you for the tags @a-fiery-fox & @maybebabyplease !! sorry i think the main thing i'm sort of working on is uh. apparently top secret now?? for. reasons that y'all know?? so instead here is a weird paragraph from like, a sort of unhinged crack-ish prank fic thing but ... i guess it's somethin anyway <3

-

12 Oct. 1976

Sirius Black & his pet werewolf have attempted to murder me, and what do they get?  A warning from Dumbledore, a few detentions?  They should be snogging Dementors in Azkaban.  And Potter—bloody Potter.  I must not only endure the brutal humiliation of a life debt to my tormentor (as if I, a ten-times more talented & intelligent wizard, could not have saved myself) but be compelled to hear him praised & cooed over for his courage by a senile ex-Gryffindor Headmaster who seems to define “courage” as “chickening out of a murder plot at the very last minute.”  They were conspiring, they are always bloody conspiring.  I should have seen it earlier.  They knew I was on to them, knew I was so painfully close to proving, to revealing their filthy secret to the entire school.  What better plan than to off me, make it look like an accident?  Have Lupin eat me, well & proper, and not even a body to worry about!  A few cleaning charms, perhaps, for the blood & spare bits, and then the bastards are walking away & washing their hands of it.

Well.  I have finally, beyond any trace of doubt, discovered the truth—risked life & limb in the process—and now am impotent to act on my knowledge.  Cruel twist of fate indeed.  I will curse James Potter with my dying breath.

-

sry im sleepy and cant think of who to tag rn soooo usual suspects @billsfangearring @broomsticks @mblematic @shipsnsails @everythingbutcoldfire no pressure just if yall have anything u might want to share <3<3

#tag games #wolfstar #the weird unhinged snape pov prank fic

[darklordofthesimp]

tw// vomit phobia thing lmfao I'm sorry but könig having a phobia of vomit is so funny to me idk why lmfaooo but like just imagine- he's on mission and one of his teammates got hit really fuckin hard in the stomach or some shit idk and knows that könig'll fuckin gag if he so much as hears anything from them and as they're like in the corner trying not to throw up königs like side-eyeing them n shit,, and then suddenly they're like shit könig- look away- and then they just start barfing their guts out in the corner and könig is just watching in horror as he's also gagging violently like oh god what the FUCK and the other teammates are just watching this looking at each other like what the actual fuck is happening rn similar note, imagine if sunshine or birdy gets sick n are throwing up in their room or something and könig really wants to help but everytime he enters the room he just fuckjgn starts gagging and has to leave,, like bro just CANT he legit just cant his eyes will start watering n he'll start dry heaving outside the room,, idk I feel like other members of the 141 would find that really funny like hey könig it's your turn to feed the sickly and he's just standing there like istg if you make me do that I will strangle you

Bro the fucking bullying that man will endure, even when everyone settles down and the egg cracking incident blows over is gonna be fucking vile.

[howtobecomeadragon]

you might know who this is but whatever LOL. DOIN IT!!!

i am a little bit in love and have been for what is now going on 5 years. [for context, im afab, not openly queer] i swear she drives me insane like INSANE LOL. and. shes been dating and what is now common law married to my childhood sweetheart's oldest brother for 10+ years.

messy. ik. im not pursuing her. ive even avoided seeing her for 2 years. my breaking point? one too many times she's held my hand at a picturesque location, looking deeply into my eyes, telling me how much and exactly why she loves me (which, is alarming already on its own!) only to end it with "youre like....a cousin to me!" KILL ME.

she is so intense and notices and thinks about everything. EVERYTHING. fascinating, smart and sharp af. she embodies and looks like wind idek how to explain it. poised, cautious, steadily powerful. she knows who she is and what she wants. but getting a straight answer out of her is something else. she speaks like poetry. sometimes i love her for it, sometimes the lack of specificity makes me insane.

this summer was the first time i saw her after my absence to get over her, she was wearing this flowy linen white outfit, gold bands in her locs, delicate gold necklace and rings. i wanted to fall to my KNEES.

while catching up on the last two years, i told her i was queer. she told me she was too. and then she went on to tell me how her relationship (with the man who is my family friend) is going "well" aka falling apart. i asked my careful questions and got careful answers. then she says shes spending months in europe this spring. partner is not interested... n that i should come visit her while there. cant fucking breathe atp. i say maybe.

anyways. ive seen her once since then and had to put more distance between us bc she invited me over to bake apple pies. i like her too much and the fact that their 10+ year relationship is slowly falling apart is NOT GOOD for me to know about.

ANYWAY. MESSY!

oh man oh man. anon (i do know who this is hehe, but still!!! your name is anon rn), my sweet darling baby, i want to tuck you into bed so you can get some rest after this torture you've been enduring!!!!! this whole situation sounds like a real mindfuck. not the europe invitation 💀 jfc. i wish i had some good advice or a clear cut thing to say, but all i can do is wish you strength and send you as much care and love as possible. there are so many ways that all of this will end up in a lot of hurt. but also love!!! love for or from your friend, for or from your friend's partner, for or from yourself. you just gotta find a balance that you're okay with.

"she speaks like poetry" aaahh. good fucking luck out there, soldier. careful answers and speaking like poetry sounds endlessly frustrating to me. there's something beautiful about directness imo. but we all fall in love with different things. that's the beauty of life, right? everyone loves something different, so everyone different can be loved.

feel free to send updates if you ever want to get things off your chest. in my asks or as a dm. 🧡

anonymously tell me about your crush!!!

#tell me about your crush #anon #valentines day

[just-jordie-things]

hello! im a new reader but can i just say how much i adore your writing!!! i adore myself some spicy fics once in awhile but reading fluffy and soft stories just does it for me… but uh i accidentally started your latest series “to build a home” chapter 3, without knowing what the plot was about!! but can i just say i absolutely adore it?! gojos just a little baby whiny abt reader not being around like he obviously has a massive crush he just wants to deny it!!! and hes so mean to yu!!>:( poor baby yu was only trying to be considerate and also has a huge heart.. gojos just mean and likes to bully his way to get whatever he wants…like ik gojo has the habit of things going his way!! he gets whatever he wants cause hes a brat abt it otherwise! and i think that applies with reader too? like obviously she’s oblivious (which is something i adore abt your stories bc i absolutely EAT UP the trope of Obsessed and IN LOVE gojo/oblivious and confused reader) and she doesn’t consider the fact tht he might just be in love with her so it drives him Absolutely Up the WALLs!!! id totally love if she keeps hiding her secret of trying to find fushiguro’s kids from gojo and when he does find out (he will bc hes annoying like that) i cant imagine the shock and horror bc ?! im kicking my feet imagining how he’ll react… cause one abt gojo is that he hates not knowing things!!! hes a baby .. and ofc geto and shoko are there too… and theyre roped into this box of secrets between the two and ofc theyre worried abt reader too bc its unlike her to lie… but reader is sentimental and i think she blames herself and puts it on her shoulders that she owes it to fushiguro’s kids(?) even tho she obviously doesnt in any way… i think she has a half mind to take them in and adopt them.. (cue teenagers gojo and reader adopting kids without dating and falling in love sorry not sorry) anyways im super curious where this is gonna go!! bc ik gojo’s totally peeved abt that interaction with yu and reader ( and tho hes an ass for it i was kicking my feet bc gojos so dumb. i totally want to read more of the other students making grabby hands at reader and making her giggle just to spite gojo so bad><<)

also!! in your last kiss to dare?? gojo snippet… in your author’s note you wrote how gojo would kiss geto any day of the week, im curious of youll ever write a poly!stsg with reader? bc i can actually see that happening, theyre both menaces who love each other and it comes with no surprise they have someone to share with who can actually endure them and it shocks everyone around them😭😭🥹like gojo is a menace and everyone thinks geto is nicer.. but no geto is just as evil and cunning!! together they make a wicked duo and poor reader suffers from their neverending schemes����

OMG WOW I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN PROPERLY HOW HAPPY THIS MESSAGE MADE ME ?? LIKE FUCK YEAH IM GLAD YOU LOVE IT AS MUCH AS I DO !!!! and you GET it DUDE !!!!!!

gojo is the biggest piece of shit!! he's clingy!! he's immature!! he's possessive and jealous and honestly a bit toxic but he means well he really does <3 he just worries about his girl (hehehe !!) and he does not like her keeping secrets from him. i mean she doesn't like doing it either buuuuut you gotta do what you gotta do when you're suddenly a single mom LMFAO

there's a LOT of tbah still to come. it's a slow burn but i've also got it so loaded with plot that there were times i was almost distracted by the other drama i got carried away with it lmfao but this series is my BABY rn so seeing it get such praise make my heart soar!! <3 i hope you continue to love it !!

ALSO i could be curious and dabble in some poly!satosugu x reader some day! i'll keep it in mind :)

as always thank you for the kudos, and happy happy reading !! <3

#jordie says stuff