#the video had so many specific like cuts and shit i dont wanna have to fucking re do ALL of that

[strrshine]

not sso but im about to set the sony vegas pro building on fire im so frustrated ive had so many SO many problems rendering this one video and when it finally worked and got past the 40% mark after taking like 2 days to figure it out, as it reaches 100% and ive already mentally celebrated, it then says that my device cannot recognize it or some shit and i think i nearly let a tear slip ngl

#very much considering just pirating to get svp 20 ... svp 15 you've done me wonders for the past couple of years but its time to go #idk why its just been having so many problems recently and its so fucking aggravating #think i might definitely switch and i thinkkkk you can infact move your project from lower versions to upper so #hopefully no problems there. i dont wanna have to fucking re edit a 25 minute video im literally gonna cry #god im just genuinely like i want to punch a window im sorry can i just let my anger out here #im gonna figure it out in the morning cause im tired rn and its like almost 3am #please wish all the best for me i cant do this anymore #the video had so many specific like cuts and shit i dont wanna have to fucking re do ALL of that #okay good night

[flingza-roller]

Hi hi wow your cosplay looks so cool, do you have any tips or advice on making a splatoon cosplay? And happy birthday for last week, that pinata video lives in my head rent free

OUGH THANK U!! it makes me rly happy that so many people like my cosplay.... i appreciate all the stuff yall have said so much!

gonna put this under the cut cuz i typed a lot lmao

if u can find patterns online to use they will be ur best friend, winging it CAN work but. not always DSGKJ

so there would be a lot to cover but im just gonna gonna start with the tentacles- mine are made from minky but i know ppl who've used like, a more vinyl-ish material? do NOT fucking use satin, i made that mistake with my original agent 3 cosplay and i nearly smashed my sewing machine out of pure rage. satin + minky is SO slippery and no matter what u do the pattern will just, Fuck Up. its why the tentacles were shaped so weirdly :/ so this time i stuck to ONLY minky and the result was way better. i had a friend help with hand sewing em and it meant more control over how the shape turns out so it was way better than my first attempt. (i then used plushie stuffing to give em shape and it makes em sooo fucking squishy n soft)

I FORGOT TO MENTION. the tentacles are safety pinned to the inside of the hat for stability, im not wearing a wig or anything.

eye mask? use eyeliner or body paint! ive done both and they both work well, id recommend using a setting spray tho. and if ur gonna wear contacts like i did, ALWAYS put contacts in before any makeup. this avoids the risk of getting shit in ur eye while putting em in (also my eyes always water a fucktonne lmao) oh and if u use a blind contact, be prepared to have fucky vision whenever ur in cosplay. agent 3 cosplayers stay suffering 💔

if ur gonna hand sew anything, definitely try to use proper techniques. luckily my gf is very good at that kinda stuff and they helped me through sewing the poncho/cape/idk fuckin old rags, i used a whip stitch so the threading isnt visible (im thinking of modifying it to add big thick cosmetic stitches so it looks more game-accurate, same with the patch on the hat)

craft stores are ur best friend for supplies! if ur australian, i highly recommend spotlight and lincraft for pretty much everything. spotlight usually has the most variety in fabric, but i always need to order my minky online. if ur not an aussie, prolly just google which places to go to DSGJ idk what yall have.

but heres my number 1 tip for cosplay- HAVE FUN! i know this sounds cliche but seriously. i sometimes to caught up in my head over little things, like "this isnt game accurate enough" "the colours are off" "people are gonna notice (X)" but cosplay is supposed to be fun, silly, crafting experience, a hobby, but most of all ur just dressing up as a fictional character and what could possibly be dorkier than that? feel free to do things differently, u never need to adhere to canon (i literally did the hijack scar AND i have a face full of metal), being accurate is NOT the most important thing, and of course- body type, gender, skin colour, NONE of these things should stop u from doing whatever the hell u want. the naysayers can go fuck themselves <3

and if u dont have the budget to buy good supplies, theres nothing wrong with a closet cosplay! work with whatever ya got!

imma finish here but if theres a specific cosplay thing u wanna know more about please ask and ill help as much as i can :]

#text #long #cosplay #btw the headphones and thongs are just painted bc whatever #i wanna do LED headphones someday but thats way outta my league #gonna do it anyway tho cuz im insane #i didnt talk about the hat but i literally just grabbed my sailor hat and glued on fabric n shit #took me hours to measure everything out properly and the nss emblem gave me HELL but it was worth it #THANK U FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISH BTW ILY

[losersclublol]

kinda weird and odly specific (fem) stozier bff head cannons !!!

stan has only ever let her bare feet out around richie

they quote the twins from like that one snl sketch. wait lemme specify. this one and they quote all the john mulany ones. like “we’re so close we finish eachother..” “off”. “his bootys real” “but my personality is fake”

they do those smule duets together and it’s a hot fucking mess but kinda good???

stupid. fucking. tiktoks.

so many

richie insists that they only do like one but they’re both on a friendship high and end up making like 20 and they’re all messy yet funny and good

a few of them blew up

cause why wouldn’t they. like you take richie, an actual comedian, and stan, an actual comedian who just won’t get paid for it. and you get comedic genius with the right amount of fruityness

ew no but matching pjs at sleepovers omg

sleepovers would either be like “we need sleep but you’re at my house” or “almost breaking something whilst having an amazing time and oh wow how did that get in your hair”

stan does richies hair at least once a month and she keeps telling richie to just do her hair like this and it’ll look this good all the time and richie keeps saying she will but noooooooo she doesn’t cause she’s a little dirt girl who has to look messy

they make the weirdest but best snacks together (i used to dip cabbage in lemonade, it was bomb)

they make little cooking videos/vlogs but it’s just stan looking tired and doing a good job, richie getting lost and confused and both of them losing everything they put down

“anyway now we need the spatula to mix it all up… where is the spatula” “how tf would i know dumbass you had it last” “okay don’t be mean stancy but seriously where is it i just had it” “bro i don’t know just retrace your steps or something idk… wait no where tf is it it’s not here” “see what i mean???” *confused looking* “omg where is it” “it’s gonna burn !” “no ! we made that together ! where is it !!!” *even more confused and stressed looking* “I DONT KNOW “ *harmonised screaming* “wait no no no it’s fine i’ll just turn the heat off for now” “oh thank god you’ve saved us,,, wait nvm no need i found it !” “where was it?” “oh the counter right next to us” “omg”

they’re the only ones who can see each others like ugly cackle only for bff snorty loud yet so silent laugh (please tell me you know what one i’m talking about)

the amount of times they’ve gotten in trouble for laughing so much omg

one time richie made them “hold hands” with their feet

she got punched but she got a picture so it’s worth it

their contact photos for eachother are the both best and worst pictures they have of the other

no other losers can see them

stozier eyes only

they definitely had one of those joint bff instagram accounts when they were like 12

omg musically

they had a shared account on musically too and it is the best thing ever made

HOLY SHIT ITS A GOLD MINE

“honey you already know i’m the slomo queen” and it’s just them doing some stupid ass spin with glasses on or something

stan has glasses

reading kinda glasses not like richies blind ass ones

omg no stan being farsighted is so funny to me tho i’ve thought about it before

like she can see birds like a mile away but walks into every fucking pole ever

she just can’t see them (how?? idk)

they share clothes

obviously

but when one of them comes over to the others house for a sleepover they just immediately change into whatever clothes is there

shared wardrobe

y’know my dad once put on my sisters jeans and they fit

sorry back on topic

i hate to be the one to say it but

they were each other’s first kiss and you can not tell me they weren’t

it’s up to you how it happens but it did

stans scared of spiders and richie takes advantage of that as much as possible (within reason she’s not an asshole)

she used the like spider on your face filter r to scare stan and it worked

she horror screams every time

THIS MASSIVE FUCKING SPIDER JUST CRAWLED OVER ME AND ITS LOST WTF

no no no fuck this no no

FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK OFF NO

kms

i meant “i’m” but like yeah sure

anyways i’m sleeping downstairs tonight

they make up insane stories about stans bat mitzvah bc they were the only losers there

they shoot the straw wrappers at each other no doubt

have been mistaken for a couple too many times to count

they hold hands when they’re out and about (cause stan feels anxious and needs constant reassurance that she’s not gonna be left alone, also cause bffs)

they’ve got like ten of the bff necklaces and bracelets

like those wee bacon and egg ones that have the words “best” and “friends” on it

(stan got the bacon one)

they’re both lactose intolerant but have ice cream dates

whenever they have like picnics stan always brings perfectly cut fruit and nice sandwiches and food and stuff and richie brings all the snacks that they both like

stans like the mum who makes the cute little bentos

soup making omg

they’ve 100% cosplayed like heather chandler and veronica and like oh god i don’t wanna say it but bakudeku HDHSJXBHXHAJSNSN

i’m sorry but it’s funny

it was unintentional at first tho

richie was doing the deku voice for a tiktok and stan was telling her to stfu and people ran with it

WHY IS THAT SO FUNNYHXVSHXB BHSKSMSM N JEJNS

they’ve definitely ugly cried together

well of course

but it still had to be said

and like cuddles awwwwww

also they genuinely love eachother

whether it’s romantic or platonic they are like soulmates to me

well to me all the losers are soulmates but stozier are just the ultimate best friends

okay y’know what i’m gonna end this here

also i have no clue how to do the read more things apologies

oh and if anyone has any tips on how to do it in the mobile that would be so appreciated !!!

#the losers club #fem losers club #losers club #stan uris #stanley uris #richie tozier #it movie #it #it fandom #it headcannons #it hcs #the losers club hc’s #the losers club headcannons #stozier

[wickedpact]

so netflix just announced the schedule for that fan event on saturdays and now its official: there wont be a tog panel. charlize will make an appearance though, alongside other 5 actress in a panel about action movies. there's a moderator so its most likely gonna be a general discussion about the genre with an emphasis on female protagonists - she's certainly going to talk about andy and nile's characters as well as her experience as a producer - and maybe there will be a comment or two about the sequel, but i feel like nothing too specific or revealing and more like a brief statement. i hope i'm wrong tho! i mean they did kinda hint that there would be new content at the panel? (or maybe it was never gonna to happen and we're just clowns being baited yet again).

anyway, i keep wondering if its a case of netflix not giving a shit about promoting the movie, or if it there's another perfectly reasonable explanation for it and i'm being super extra about it.

because really, netflix has a lot of fucking money and they dont usually spare it on their marketing campaigns. and still we get nothing. not before the film came out (if i didnt have access to the gays from tumblr/twitter i would have never even discover the film - it had me at the joenicky gifs, obvs - and still, i had to introduce it to so many people from inside the community who had never heard of it.) and not even after people started engaging with it, basically begging for some crumbles. not a single photo or video of cast together, not any deletes scenes; we're all starving here!!! in fact, netflix just released the raw footage of an audition/chemestry test featuring the actresses from fear street vs the actual scenes from the film - including some dialogue that was cut from it which reveal some background info about the characters - so clearly they understand the appeal. SO WHY CANT WE HAVE THAT

[nonetheless i'm a fool who still hopes that someday we're gonna get more content of them together (i want behind the scenes footage! i wanna know more about their experiences training and shooting the film! i wanna hear funny stories from the set! i wanna see them teasing each other in several languages! also would sell a lung to watch luca and marwan taking part in back to back chef!). ]

anyhow, i honestly find that even when we take into account the global pandemic and its effects, the publicity was kinda wack; we can basically count on one hand how many interviews were made while they were promoting the film.

and i truly dont get it!!!!!!! im not even speaking as fan here. the old guard has the potential to be a hit among several demographics; now that disney took away what used to be netflix's flagship content the competition has never been more fierce in the superhero/ish genre!!! and its not like we're talking about some low-budget film cmon its a significal production with both experienced and emerging actors. its chiwetel ejofior ITS CHARLIZE FUCKING THERON. anyway my point is that in a time when movie theathers were closed and streaming reached its peak tog could - SHOULD - have been much more popular.

SO LIKE. WHY?????? does it have anything to do with skydance and copyrights? re: interviews, can it be that the cast just didnt sign up for this (is that even a thing? i dont know anything about the film industry, clearly)? unlikely for a movie that big i would guess but who knows??? i mean contrary to some hollywood folks most of the cast is extremely private and discrete people (GOOD FOR THEM) so perhaps they have some reservations about it? or we're really just the poor bastards that end up being obssessed with a media no one gives a fuck about it and thats it? WHYYY

p.s.: sorry for the word vomit! this was not supposed to be an essay i just had to get this off my chest and you're the most welcoming blog around these woods. thank you for the tea (or is it coffee? heh) and the biscuits and for always indulging our passionate rants. HAVE A NICE DAY I LOVE YOU

re: TUDUM, geeked week mentioned there will be a little interview thing for greg & leandro so i have a feeling if anything of tog importance will be discussed itll happen then

but yeah i get what youre saying; sometimes i wonder if the reason that theres like no bts content is bc it just.. .doesnt exist? just people didnt film things like chemistry readings or the like while creating tog and thats why theres been basically no crumbs? (but then again, it was gina who took it upon herself to post the hair & makeup test footage AND theres at least one deleted scene that we know of thats never been posted so maybe not)

and yeah it does seem so bizarre since tog got such a big response from audiences (it was one of netflix's most watched original movies!) and critics did actually like it, unlike some of netflix's most watched originals. PLUS it has that ✨ Franchise Potential ✨that everyone has been searching for as of late and it also gives netflix their sought after Woke Points. idk it just seems like they should be leaning into tog as hard as they can but it feels like theyve been largely ignoring it. i mean i get the holdups in regard to finding a new director but other than that the response from netflix has been so underwhelming

#anonymous #np btw i love The Anon Rants™ #and youre Right anyways so

[yuzhousky]

Hi bummie :) I have a few random questions - do you have any idea why XIII doesnt accept new followers on weibo? Recently i finally managed after a lot of struggle to create weibo account, and lol, poor me was trying over and over to start following him/her thinking it was a glitch or something until Vine told me that XIII just doesnt allow new followers anymore. I mean, i will survive that, I just find it weird and was wondering if you knew the reason.

Then, about johnny - i found some chinese gossip blog in english language and read there that when all that johnny being abuser crap happened, his career suffered a great deal, and that he barely had any work for almost 2 years. Is that true? And like if it is, who will ever be able to compensate both financial and emotional losses, i mean that is just insane!!! That brings me to my question about all the gossip blogs in china - how relevant are they? Like can the rumours they spread be relevant enough to be taken seriously enough to ruin one's career? I read about some iFeng entertainment - they just seem to throw all sort of rumours left and right and people are finding them legit. Apparently they were the ones who also started all the johnny-diliraba thing, and like many moons later there are still groups on instagram shipping the shit outta it🤯

And finally, a month ago i saw a video of little ZZ being the guest at some tv show and trying his best not to cry. Do you have any idea how long ago it was and what made him so emotional? Watching him struggling to hold back his tears, i mean i was just, oh god, i just had this urge to hug him and protect from the world, lol. I dont have the option to upload the video, but here is the link to it, hope u will be able to see it.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CMHGC9CACCL/?igshid=6mwly76indd5

And in the end i would like to thank you for all the hints you have put recently and also to thank you for keeping up with the good work on your blog. Every time i write to you, i just dont feel like i thank you enough and show you enough how much you and your work mean to us! 😊

1) Idk why XIII doesn't allow new followers anymore but all of his posts are still public so you guys can still see them.

2) Actually those abuser crap or malicious rumours about JY in 2018 have badly affected his reputation and public opinions about him have also changed negatively. However, his film resources were still very good in Cbiz. JY still had at least 3 films to shoot in a year, and each usually lasted about 3-4 months, so most of his time was at the film crews. So there's no such thing like "he barely had any work in 2 years".

In terms of the gossip blogs or news bloggers on Weibo, actually they are usually paid to share those false rumours to blacken other celebs, and the one paying them could be the opponents of a specific celeb or a celeb who wanna get some fame from another one. In fact, JY has been one of the young actors that have the most high-quality film resources in Cbiz, so he's got many opponents who wanna bring him down to get those resources. And it's pretty similar to Dilreba as she's now one of the most famous young actresses, that's why many others keep paying for bloggers to post about the false dating rumour.

3) The video of ZZ was a cut from the TV show called 机智过人 (More quick-witted than men) which broadcast on 200130.

I haven't watched the full show but in the video ZZ was teary while hearing a sad and touching story of someone on the stage.

[axemetaphor]

wwwhats up its 430am I cant sleep and I dont think I've ever done an annoying headcanon ramble for jdate on here so here we fuckin goooo I'm on mobile but I'm gonna try my damnedest to do a read more and if it doesnt work and looks stupid well sue me

amy is the one routinely awake before the other two. I dont mean shes always the first one to wake up, but her back pain is more likely to have her up in the early hours of the morning. shes also the only one who has anything thay resembles q sleeping schedule of the three as john is just like, completely fucked in that department and Dave's insomnia/depression-sleeping fucks him over sometimes. basically amy Has A Brain and also lost likely schedules it so that she can be falling asleep as her pain pills take effect.

amy also is the one who's like fairly into self care stuff like fuckinuhhh face masks and shit—look, I dont inow jackshit about self care, but I mean amy strikes me as the kind of person to actually maintain her appearance in a fairly regular manner. john will just like "forget" to take care of himself and then just Be Decadent for a week and then "forget" again (either going on a bender or just actually being normal for once) and all dave knows of self care is "when I get the urge to eat an entire pie, and give into that urge, That is self care"

anyways Partially because of that I headcanon Dave gets acne like Pretty Much All The Time and hes just kinda stopped caring about it. amy gets acne Sometimes because it just like Happens. john is that one lucky motherfucker who just is somehow naturally immune. perpetually clear skin on this man. I hate him

also dave Kind Of strikes me as the kind of guy fuckign "3 in 1" shampoo is targeted towards the man just Does Not Care. other girlfriends have tried to get him into actually using different kinds of soaps and not just defaulting to "3 in 1 wherever I think soap should go" but its amy who actually succeeds in breaking this terrible habit hes had.

also I think that Despite his hair being described as frizzy and all that, John actually takes care of his hair. except for times when hes Less Than Functional. and also yknow when the world is fuckin ending but I doubt anyone really has time for a haircare routine when they gotta be fighting monsters and shit

amy again is just a normal person about hair. but shes the only one who can actually cut hair and tbqh I think she does it Pretty Well! shes no professional but shes not john either that's for sure (if you let john close to your head with scissors, well— it's your funeral, man)

this is completely projecting and also like totally Useless but I just think it would be funny if Dave has exploding head syndrome. if you donf know what that is it's a phenomenon-or-something where right when you're dropping off to sleep your brain just liek idk gets bored I guess? and comes up with some phantom Loud Noises to startle the shit out of you. it's great! and by 'great' I mean terribly annoying! but in general I think Dave is a Very restless sleeper so him suddenly flinching himself awake isnt exactly Abnormal.

amy sleeps like a normal human being Mostly, I think she Might be one of those sorts who likes to sleep curled up in the fetal position which is so very valid. she gets night terrors sometimes though because ✨trauma✨. the best way to comfort her with that is a tight hug cause I feel like her Main fear would be that shes all alone again and a hug sure does help people feel less alone I think,

john either starfishes out when he sleeps (also I headcanon he likes to sleep at least Partially on top of Dave and Dave only pretends to hate it) or grabs hold of something and clings to it tightly. hes a very light sleeper, though, and snaps awake at any loud noise or especially if he gets bumped into too strongly. this doesn't always play well with Dave's restlessness and tendency to Sleep Fight but they manage.

I feel like its fairly common to Assume john has tattoos but specifically I feel like a lot of his tattoos are things he or his friends have drawn, I wrote about it Once Or Twice but maybe not here so I'll just like say it again, I think he asks his friends to draw shit on him then goes and gets it tattooed later (or, hell, right then and there lmao) and it's like a Mark of Friendship. he claims Dave has drawn the most on him because Dave's his best friend but whether or not that's true, who knows. the first one was from Dave, though, and john did it himself stick-and-poke style the night of. that happened while they were still in high school and Dave was actually Slightly Embarrassed because what he doodled was just like really stupid looking and fuckin hell john now you're gonna have that on you forever what the hell man? but the rest of John's tattoos, if not done by friends they're either things he drew (I maintain he still draws in his downtime I love the idea of artistically talented john so much-) or weird shit he found online.

I honestly didnt think Dave would really get tattoos because he does state hes afraid of needles BUT as someone Also afraid of needles who paradoxically wants tattoos .. he could probably power through it and get like A Few. one of them is from John (stick-and-poke style, again,) and I am Not actually sure how many hed have but definitely less than John. amy only has that one tattoo that I keep forgetting when I draw her godfuckendammit-

John is the one who makes the most Food Monstrosities (Dave barely even bothers to cook) and he does this by making just the worst decisions both technical-wise (as in, hes Definitely the "just turn the oven temperature up to speedrun cooking" kind of guy) and taste-wise. dave on the other hand is likely to make terrible drinks like jack daniels + mountain dew which my buddy Ben so fantastically dubbed "jack and piss." the sheer Concept of jack daniels + mtn dew tho is thanks to that one kurtis conner video about becoming a country boy which is entirely unrelated but everyone needs to know. ANYWAY.

john and Amy like playing pranks on each other (and dave). they're in an ongoing low-key prank war and Dave is Mostly just spectating but sometiems they Conspire to commit mischief against him. it's annoying sometimes but ultimately more endearing than it is annoying so he never gets Too mad.

john and Amy absolutely have Gaming Nights(tm) that sometimes include dave as well unless they wanna play some like fps game, I'm fairly sure hes said he doesnt really like those. but they also can get Competetive which, dave tends to act as a bit of a buffer to keep them from getting Too into it ... but sometimes he gets a little competitive too. what I'm trying to say is them playing mario kart is absolute chaos and also an event i woudl buy tickets to

john has a youtube channel for sure. he is So obnoxious. he hardly has any audience because let's be honest his videos kind of suck— they're all either kinda boring vlogs or him recording the cases he and Dave go on (when he can convince Dave to let him) which are almost always declared Fake by the commenters. amy is subscribed to him. dave probably doesnt even have/use his own YouTube channel so he was not subscribed until john stole his phone and did it for him. (he never watches the videos) the videos are not edited much, I dont think any of them really knows too much about video editing shit.

dave cant fuckin do math.

John and Dave do Not know how to handle crying. like Dave's learned what helps Amy, in specific, but anybody else? clueless. Dave also just does not cry very often in general (shut up lemme project again LMAO-) and tends to just refrain from doing it even if he wants to/probably should, rarely ever actually breaking down and letting it all out; he'll stop himself from getting there/even crying much in the first place. he doesn't exactly have a Reason for it or at least not one he can recite (it's the bullying. we dont get details of how that was beyond The Locker Room Incident which I wont go into but I'm just going to project the rest of it was similar to shit I went through, It's The Bullying). John also kinda Doesn't Cry and actually hes even more restrained about it than Dave, because he won't even cry around either of them if he can avoid it and if it happens he 1) will Not address it, 2) prefers no one else acknowledge it, and 3) will Run The Fuck Away if it's acknowledged. they both try Really Really Hard to help amy when shes crying though, if shes crying for a Big Reason, cause they both also understand she just cries easily and doesnt always need or want comfort.

that,s all for now BUT if I come up with mroe. there will be a reblog. also these are not all like "I am the only one who's ever tho ig ht this" or w/e a lot of them are from me talking with other people or Absorbing much older posts on here because I read Everuthing I can find.

I sure hope I can sleep soon, this is probably mostly incoherent. gnight

#jdate #john dies at the end #not sonic #rambles.txt #do i dare ? i do indeed csuse several dave headcanins here are projection #kin

[thegeminisage]

hey liz i've been thinking a lot about story structure lately and i wanted your take on how you decide what structure your stories will have? i know there's that "you have to do what your story needs and tells you to do" thing but these bitches dont ever tell me anything they just multiply so. thoughts? - bma

(as an aside, i don't know whether involving medium would change many things but it may be worth considering. mainly i think medium is just a matter of arrangement and that the story would be for most intents and purposes the same no matter how you choose to tell it. i guess you could argue that structure is arrangement in itself and intrinsically tied to medium but i sort of feel like it is secondary arrangement, if at all? like if you consider time as an element to outline -- the time IN the story (how things happen to your characters) is not necessarily the time you’re telling the story IN (how you are telling your reader that things are happening) aka internal chronology doesnt equal your work’s pacing? or should it??? does this make sense? i dont think so. i am sorry.) - bma :|

NOOO dont be sorry ur making total sense

i think there’s 3 thots to unpack here (medium, structure, & chronology) & i’m gonna start with medium bc it’s easier. im also putting it behind a cut bc it’s gonna get just stupidly long and rambly. i’m sorry in advance if it’s not helpful to you, i have a lot to say for someone who has never taken even one single class on writing and as a result doesn’t know jack shit (there’s a tl;dr at the end dont worry)

about MEDIUM: 

so like ok i’m just some goof-off with a HS degree who writes fanfiction but In My Very Super Qualified Personal Opinion, i don’t think that most of the time medium is intrinsically tied to STRUCTURE of the main storytelling arc...i think the art of storytelling itself is distinct from the medium you choose to tell the story IN. this post puts it better than i ever could but basically for me, i feel like the story itself is sort of the raw, malleable concept, and the medium you choose to tell it in is how you convey the information??

like in a book, you can say “she forgot her keys” and in a film you have to show her smacking her forehead, heading back into the house, and swiping her keeps off the counter. you can’t TELL in film, you have to show. similarly i regret every day i cannot perfectly describe a facial expression with words when i see it so clearly in my head. for audio-only podcasts that are dialogue heavy out of necessity you have different limitations than you would for, say, animated music videos with no dialogue at all. games allow for more interactivity and exploration while sacrificing accessibility, tv shows allow for more length while sacrificing, uh, a big hollywood budget...medium affects the kind of story you can reasonably tell which is why some stories are better suited to one medium than another. i think trying things in other mediums is a good way to stretch your storytelling muscles but with enough skill nearly any story could be told in any medium. i think when trying to decide on a medium you just gotta weigh the pros & cons and what you feel comfortable with/what you think would be most effective/what would evoke the strongest reaction

re: structure:

firstly “do what the story tells u to do” is a little silly like...the story isn’t sentient. come on. that’s like “i can only write when the writing gods inspire me” there are no writing gods! inspire yourself! it’s all in our weird messed up brains! ok anyway.

this is, again, just how i do things, and i am 700% self-taught so take it with a grain of salt, but when i sit down and start blocking out a story from scratch i don’t...actually consider the big structure at all! sorry if that’s not helpful to you. i like to make a list of everything i want to happen, and then put it together in a few different orders to see what looks best. and when i’m finished, whatever i have just like...IS the structure i go with, with perhaps minor tinkering to make it flow more smoothly. (i think this might be in the same spirit as “do what the story tells you” with less bullshit and more Agency Of The Writer.)

for long and more complex projects, i actually usually have several lists - one list of stuff that is, for example, the Action Plot (the kingdom has been cursed, i’m tracking down my serial killer sister to bring her to justice, i’m running from djinn who wanna kill my dad, i’m trying to bring my dead not-boyfriend back to life). then i have another list for Character A & Character B’s romance or whatever. and maybe a even another one for solo character development (magicphobic prince learns to love magic, former werewolf hunter figures out his family is a cult, half-demon learns to embrace his own nature). and as many lists as we need for however many Main Characters and or Plots/Sideplots

how i order the lists: individually first. don’t mix them together to start with. when deciding the order of an individual list i like to, for example in a romance arc, use escalating intimacy. “A and B have dinner together” is naturally gonna go way sooner than “A and B kiss” or “A and B talk about A’s angsty backstory” because that’s more satisfying. draw it out, good/important stuff last, dangle that carrot so we have a reason to keep reading! for singular character development, it’s basically a straightforward point A to point B...if i want my guy to start hating magic with everything he is and end up being very comfortable with it, i have to put “reluctantly uses magic to save his own life” WAYYY before “casually using magic to light torches and reheat his cold stew.” 

the tricky part for me is when i’m done with these lists and then i need to mix them together To Pace My Whole Story. (this is usually why i wind up with a rainbow colored spreadsheet.) i don’t like to put too many things too close together because then the pace feels uneven. even if my Action Plot is only a thinly veiled excuse for romance and character development, i still don’t want to focus on a romance for 30,000 words and then go “and oh yeah in case you forgot Serial Killing Sister is still coming for your asses.” the more sideplots and major character arcs you’re juggling the harder it is to get an even distribution, which is my main concern always

and like, generally, whatever i have when i’m finished...is my structure. (sorry.) 

i don’t know much about the classic 3-act or anything like that, but i usually can divide them up into 3-5 big arcs based on story turning points. sometimes i take a scene out of one arc and put it in another because it fits better and i like for my shit to be organized, but usually by the time i’m finished with all that, that’s what the final story is mostly gonna look like. (there have been a few exceptions when i realized i needed extra scenes/changes while i was MID-DRAFT and let me tell you that murders me EVERY time. it happened on the merlin fic i’m currently posting and that was like my own personal hell.)

this is also where thots about chronology come in:

i think time CAN be an element of this if you WANT it to be, but it doesn’t HAVE to be. if you want it to be, i would consider it just another “list” like character development or the romance arc. 

i usually plot without considering Time very much...to me, it’s all down to the events you want to show, and however much time it takes is the byproduct. if you want to show something from a character’s chilhood but then tell the bulk of it when they’re adults, that’s one thing. if you want to show a scene from their childhood, teenhood, young adulthood, etc, that’s a different kind of pacing?? i usually do it this way so i can regard time like wordcount: it takes as long as it takes. 3 days or 3 years, a 1.5k drabble or a 100k epic...overall, my LARGEST CONCERN is that even distribution. in the same way that i don’t want one chapter to be 30,000 words when the rest are 10,000 words, i personally am not a fan of huge timeskips offscreen

(because this where i think someone’s own internal chronology DOES matter...this is just a personal preference, as a reader i have a hard time really comprehending, say, a year timeskip or a 10yr timeskip when all i did was turn one page. like, a year is such a long time. i can’t even begin to describe how different i am now to how i was a year ago. it’s the same for character development. time IS development and as a writer i’m not really comfortable having that take place offscreen - for main characters, at least. it’s just too jarring. a little prologue with something happening 10 or 20 years ago is usually fine, but for the most part, i’m not a fan. ...i can do one chapter per year a lot easier than i can do two chapters in childhood and the other 8 in adulthood. of course you can play with this a LOT with nonlinear storytelling, which is a whole other very cool thing, and someone skilled in their work can keep me sucked in no matter what, but imo if you don’t want to risk throwing your reader out of your work it’s better to keep things steady)

HOWEVER sometimes time IS an element u wanna consider outside of just making sure your shit is evenly distributed...if your heart is moved to tell a story in a specific timeframe, over a year, or from solstice to solstice (this was almost the timeline for my merlin fic and then i changed it), for the first six months of a friendship, or even a huge journey in the span of a single day (toby fox had a lot of success with this one lol).

i think it can help to choose a start and end point for your chronology the same way you do for character development (prince goes from hating magic to being ok with it, story takes place from ages 8 to 25, or from new year’s eve 2038 to 2039, whatever) - that way you can keep your distribution even, if that’s a thing you want to do...even if you have a lot of skips you can still note what happens offscreen to make it work better in your head? like, if you just make it another List, another column on your spreadsheet, when you’re in the early stages of organizing you can be conscious of it and make sure it’s playing into the story the way you want it to

anyway these r my thots im SOOOO SORRY this is so long lmao. brain machine broke today which is why i had to ramble more to explain myself. the tl;dr in case ur brain is melting out of ur ears & u didn’t sign up for an essay:

imo medium is totally distinct from storytelling tho ofc some stories are better suited to some mediums

structure? i don’t know her. i plot w/o regard to structure and then if it looks funny i mush it into a more structurally sound shape

my main concern when structuring anything, including time, is an even distribution of Events and a steady rate of escalation

structure to me is just what i have when i’m finished plotting. i’m sorry one day i’m gonna take a writing class

internal chronology matters to me personally because i have a little bit of time blindness but maybe not to everyone, i know many very successful stories where they disregarded that entirely to no ill effect

writer’s block isn’t real! everyone just needs more rainbow spreadsheets

thank u for asking I HOPE i didn’t make you regret it too badly lmao and that at least a little of it was helpful!! 

#personal #liz loves writing #liz answers asks #brit marling anon #i couldn't figure out how to answer u without walking u thru my entire process #so that's what i did and that's why it's so long. very sorry. #im gonna set this up to reblog itself at the time u sent ur ask so that ur sure to see it!! #edit: there was SUPPOSED to be a cut on this but tumblr put it in the ASK?? i can't seem to fix it. rip

[shhhhyoursister]

Hey what are you favourite davenzi scenes/moments and what are your favourite Matteo scenes/moments? Hope you’re well!

okay okay okay this has been in my inbox for a lil while and i feel like ive been building up to it but im going to watch some clips and gather some thoughts.....i asked @theyellowcurtains to give me a number limit for each and he said 3 so im gonna do 3 of each otherwise id just write a frame by frame analysis of all of season 3 (im so sorry for how long this post is i have so many thoughts all the time)

im gonna start with matteo moments and im gonna list the season/episode/clip just for clarity okay?? okay (im doing matteo moments that dont include david because i have to go off about that later on)

1. s3ep10cl2- okay okay so the morning after clip is perfect in every single way and i could go off about it for years but beyond all of the davenzi stuff there is the moment when matteo leaves davids room and hes wearing the gray sweater, when laura is dancing??? which is also iconic all on its own but im talking specifically about matteo here, so you know he sits down on that stool thing and hes smiling SO big and hes blushin really hard and then laura sees him and they LAUGH??? and then he claps for her???? if i had to pick id absolutely say that that whole sequence is my fave matteo moment and also kind of interesting and makes me think about the fact that matteo is definitely very shy and quiet but he also has that like,, brat confidence?? i could make an entire post about that but ANYWAY yeah that is the fucking best matteo moment hes so cute and nervous but also totally fine being obvious about the fact that him and david fucked which i think is hilarious but i digress and i MUST move on

2. s3ep8cl2- i do have to say that while im not a HUGE fan of the explanation the video he watched gave of like,, what being trans is, im really glad they included this clip?? like its so obvious that matteo wants to talk to david but doesnt really know what to say, and i love that his first instinct was to start looking stuff up?? like if i was into a cis guy and he told me that he didnt really know about trans stuff but he did RESEARCH?? like thats just really sweet and shows that he really fucking loves david already and just wants to be more informed about what hes,, not to say signing up for but i cant think of a better phrase but yall know what i mean ya know??? its just very very sweet of him!!!!!

3. s3ep8cl4- i think people know about my deep love for hans so of course this clip is going to be one of my favorites?? im going to narrow it down a bit though because the part of this clip that hit me the fucking hardest was when hans asks “what do you like about him?” because the way matteo reacts is just?? so sweet?? at first he looks a little unsure but then when hans repeats himself matteo licks his lips and goes “well, i love his smile” like????? is that not the cutest fucking shit?? he literally swoons and collapses back into the chair cause hes probably imagining it and then he goes off about it being “beautiful” with david and im sure hans is trying not to cry?? and hans ending it with “thats the only thing that really matters, everything else is secondary” and matteo going “thats true” and then laughing a little bit?? i feel like that whole thing was a bit of a turning point for matteo and wow i am,,, so emotional about it

oh my god im so sorry im going off but im about to go off more cause,,, im gonna talk about davenzi moments now

1. s3ep10cl1- okay im just gonna start strong even though i feel like everyone talks about this clip i REALLY wanna talk about it because??? the fact that they showed a fucking sex scene between a trans boy and a gay cis boy is still so fucking iconic and legendary?? while this whole season really changed my life, this scene in particular is so.......it just feels so good to see. like its so nice watching that and seeing someone who looks like me ya know?? not that i look like david god i wish i was that lucky but like,, someone wearing a binder?? someone whos body looks more like mine than any other trans rep ive seen?? and seeing that body being portrayed as DESIRABLE??? i think thats one of the things that gets me the most is just how like,, just how much matteo is into david lol it just feels good feels organic but im gonna stop myself here before i talk for 1000 years about a less than 4min long clip lmao

2. s3ep10cl4- okay so this clip really just highlights the cute beginning flirting stages of their relationship?? like matteo doesnt want to host the party but then he sees david and smiles and then hes smiling like a fool when he hands david the beanie back and theyre both just so awkward but obviously crushing?? and he wants to keep talking so of course hes gonna bring up the time they hung out, and he looks a lil shocked after david says “it was cool with you” and then he like,, stutters through inviting him to the party cause hes probably so nervous!!! theyre both just such big losers with such BIG crushes on each other its really just the cutest fucking clip and also kinda shows that david isnt necessarily just this,, cool dude?? hes also a stuttery blushy dork with a crush?? wow wow its just such a good underrated clip WOW

3. s3ep9cl7- okay okay okay okay okay im sure there are like lenghty analyses about this clip already but i dont care because holy FUCK??? something i didnt really notice about it before was once matteo finally goes up to david hes like “are you fucking serious” but then he sees that david is fuckin spiraling so his voice gets softer and he asks him like “hey whats wrong” and its just a really good set up to the conversation?? and its nice to see that despite matteo probably being kinda angry hes mostly just worried about david?? and then matteo just lets david go OFF at him and only talks when hes trying to tell him that it isnt going to be the same as it was last time but then once he sees that david is getting angrier and louder hes like okay how am i going to get him to listen so of course matteo, the quietest boy in the world, yells back!!!! and yeah thats the thing that finally stops david from working himself up!! and matteo realizes that hes gonna need to be a lil loud and pushy to make david listen to him and then he goes back to being soft once david is paying attention to him!!! and then he talks and he says so much, like much more than he usually does at one time, and god GOD the way they did that was jsut so GOOD!!!!! and the fact that matteo, who appears to be either depressed or apathetic like 90% of the season, is the one that says i love you first??? and during such an emotional and important moment like?? like after going off about how david isnt alone and that hes really great and jsut needs to stop hiding himself away LIKE???? guys its jsut so so good its just so good i could talk for years but im gonna cut myself off here

honorable mentions cause i cant shut the fuck UP:

1. when theyre looking at davids sketchbook and david is like “these are private actually all of them are private” and matteo is like “well you already showed them to me it doesnt matter” and then he giggles like damn no question why david had such a huge crush on him immediately hes such a cutie

2. “its not a girl”

3. ill just say the whole cuddle clip?? the tender/feral dichotomy?? absolutely *chefs kiss* just fucking perfect

4. THE FIRST KISS??? also gotta say i noticed something for the first time the other night but matteo SMILES and i hadnt seen it before its right after david says “i bet i can hold my breath longer than you” and then the angle changes and he smiles before holding his breath and it killed me when i saw it whoops

5. final shout out along the same lines as ^^ that one but just?? anytime matteo smiles?? fills me with serotonin. the smile in the final clip right before david runs over to kiss him?? the smiles when hes fuckin around with the boys?? every single lil nervous crushy smile with david??? i could go on but im going to stop this now before i say any more this is already too long

#noggins #davenzi #david schreibner #matteo florenzi #matteo x david #sorry this is so long should i tag it #long reads #just in case #i just have so much to say all the time and this?? this is me holding myself back #i have so many words yall so many words

[lynxandbadger]

Seventy-Two Days

(yes im reusing this banner but i dont feel like making a new one okay alkfdjlsjf) hey yall happy middle of the summer (or winter if ur a southern hemisphere pal) hope youre all doing well! i am currently in the middle of summer school which is Not Fun but you know, gotta do what you gotta do. i have a specific reason for this post but since i dont expect many people to actually see this its mostly just for me lol so im gonna ramble but in case someone is reading this and wants me to get to the point

tldr; im challenging myself to make an edit a day for the next 72 days (dont expect them to be quality though lol)

okay so onto the rambling bit for my own memory archive. putting it under a cut so yall dont have to suffer through if u dont wanna asdfljdks

alrighty so time for a monologue.

blah blah blah this summer is a summer and you know what im tired of hearing myself talk so im actually gonna try to keep this short anyway but we all know thats not gonna happen bc lets be real this is me talking and since when do i ever keep things brief lajsdfjs

uhhhh i swear i had a point when i started writing this post skdjlfsld bear with me its 3:30 pm and i got five hours of sleep last night so im tired okay and yeah i know i could type all this stuff out and then consolidate it into a nice soft and neat post and i should do that but also no one really follows my blog except for like a few people (lookin @ u naomi i know ur reading this) which is fine bc i never post lol so im gonna leave it here in the raw unprocessed form for me to look back at someday and be like yep sounds about right u came to write a short post explaining a thing and u made it an entire essay good goin eloise 10/10

hmm still havent gotten to my main point OKAY SO lets get there already smh its like im procrastinating my procrastination

actually nah fam im gonna keep rambling for that exact reason, procrastination

im supposed to be doing stuff lol i have a final on friday but have i studied at All? nope and im not gonna its an all or nothing sort of thing and yeah maybe im no longer a good student academically but you know what fuck it yall ill deal with that later

so lets chat

dnp both came out since i last posted well okay i guess dan was out when i made my last edit but that one was partially a joke edit so it doesnt count. i forgot what i was gonna say about dnp coming out bc i went to check when dan uploaded his video to confirm but like idk yall it was probably something about how im proud of them or whatever

okay so at this point this post is 100% for me to be amused at when i reread it someday so im just gonna fill it with stuff that might only make sense to me while also keeping in mind that maybe someone who isnt me is also reading this but thats just showbiz babey

okay so (oh hey future me look at that do u remember what thats a reference to) uhh okay so might as well ramble on the topic of why i started this post in the first place

summer 2019 what can you say

let me give u a briefprobablynotbrief overview of the summer so far

marianas trench (again)

stats class

listening to new music (two bands in particular) (pop quiz do u remember which two??)

national bee movie treasure rabbit

josh ramsay matt webb ian casselman mike ayley

being bored

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

marianas trench

s

HHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNN

um

Marianas Trench

yeah thats about it fam

did i mention marianas trench yet

okay im getting hungry lets wrap this shit up so i can go get some food

okay so might as well actually talk about why im doing this edit thing

i am bored. idk what im doing with my life. idk i wanna do something creative and really the only creative thing i have the resources to do is make shitty edits so that was really the only thing i could think of to do lol.

alright bud im out lol gotta go eat food come up with an idea for the first edit and also do a lot of actual productive stuff bc as u may remember as i type this im currently skipping something else

ooohhh nice! fun. and yum!

xoxo elowoise

#since i never properly explained myself in the post lol im gonna give another brief tldr here #the reason im trying to do this self challenge is bc 1) im bored 2) i want to get better at edits and 3) yolo #i dont actually have all day all summer to make these edits so #none of the edits are gonna actually be good #especially on the days when im busy #but you know what its the thought that counts #lets see how long this lasts #im guessing at MOST a week #what is the tag i use for my personal posts again lsfjsaldfkjj #its been so long #eloise is being loud

[clumsyclifford]

hello!! i am back and on desktop this time. the blog is just as pretty. alex + yellow = v v attractive jfc. this is a long one so buckle in.

to begin: i hope you have the most fun on your day road trip and sing your heart out to atl and taylor swift. i love driving long distances and idk just driving in general is fun. have the absolute best time MWAH

my birthday is in november!! november 23 to be specific. i share it with miley cyrus which is something i always found to be very cool when i was growing up and watching hannah montana. it also means i am a sagittarius and funny little fact i realized is that my best friend is a gemini. alex and jack are also a sagittarius and a gemini. from being 13 i know that tyler and josh from twenty one pilots are also a sagittarius and a gemini. something about sagittarius and gemini besties idk.

also yeah!! ao3 year in review!! it's a bit complicated to figure out at first and if you read a lot the finding pages thing can be pretty tedious, but it's def worth it once you figure it out. it gives you a lot of different stats about everything you read and it's pretty cool. now i am going to go look at your fics to remember my favs. you deserve the praise so i am willing to offer it. jeez you write a lot i respect the motivation sm. you write quite a bit of angst and i won't lie i try to stay away from angst so i haven't read your fics that seem super angst-y based on the tags. BUT there are still so many i recall reading and loving nonetheless. on a quick scroll-through: i usually don't read high school AUs but "paint me in trust (i'll be your best friend)" was super adorable and lovely. "thank god i'm yours" is one of my favs iirc. also i love love love "it's not always easy (but i'm here forever)" like yes please romanticize alex gaskarth i love it sm. "i won't be silent (and i won't let go)" and "i fell asleep in a city that doesn't" are both super fluffy and romantic and are favs of mine. in case you haven't picked up on it i adore very fluffy and romantic fics lmao. alright i am continuing to scroll and there are so many more i could list that i love but this section is getting quite long. just know if it's about a kitchen or hotel rooms being for lovers i probably read it and adored it and that pov is so valid.

waterparks!! will not lie i only really started listening to them about 6 months ago having been distantly aware of their existence for several years by being a fan of bands in the same genre. listen as long as you let yourself be vaguely annoyed by awsten is prevents you from being in love with him. follow him on any social media platform for like a day and you'll be sick of him typing in nothing but all caps within hours. simply do not romanticize him and you can keep yourself from falling!! so this is coming from a slightly fake parx fan, but some of my favs by them have been peach (lobotomy), crave, numb, fuzzy, violet!, you'd be paranoid too, and lowkey as hell. that is a very songs-from-their-most-recent-album-heavy rec, but whatever. i did give the disclaimer about being a fake parx fan.

yeah hayley does have 2 solo albums now!! petals for armor and flowers for vases / descansos. pfa is the one i didn't really like upon first listen but has grown on me. i haven't even listened to the second one in its entirety oops but we won't mention it. dead horse is good but simmer (pretty sure that was the other single??) just ain't it for me. the album has some lovely songs but it's just a hit or miss album all the way through. some favs of mine on it include pure love, taken, crystal clear, watch me while i bloom, and why we ever. it's sorta a storyline album about healing if that adds anything to it?? but anyways. i started listening to paramore around the time after laughter dropped and it grew to be one of my fav albums in existence. idle worship is probably one of my fav songs like ever. i def understand being slightly put off by bands with songs that make religious references (me with twenty one pilots' earlier music that makes a lot more religious references considering i'm not religious whatsoever) but i think i am blinded by being in love with hayley williams and just ignore it. idk that she's like super religious?? she's addressed believing in god and stuff a few times but she's def not the "rub it in your face" type and if she's making refs in music more recently then they're subtle enough i'm not noticing them. ik albums like brand new eyes had a lot more because it was shortly after that the band split and the songwriting process was essentially her and ex-bandmate co-songwriter arguing about their religious beliefs (turns out he ended up being super homophobic and transphobic all based on his religion so do with that what u will and thank the clown for leaving). i feel u on the "i meant to start listening to them" because that's essentially how i started listening to them. i told myself i was going to and then finally forced myself to do it. fuck falling for awsten knight what's more risky is falling in love with hayley </3

also yeah!! you've articulated my feelings towards tde. every song is so vastly different that it's hard to like it all. #1 fan is pretty decent though, and that's not just my bias about finding both ross and his gf hot and a cute couple and getting to see them together and ross half naked in a mirror in the video nope not at all. he's my fav himbo!! he has no personality!! no thoughts head empty!! i still love him and his strawberry-growing saga on twitter tho <3 the hazard of being in love with ross lynch since i was 12. girlfriend better be a fucking banger and there's quite a few already released singles in the tracklist so i have hope. i believe my show is in chicago on november 19 which is a thursday. kinda sucks since i intentionally bought the chicago tix nearly two years ago (the show was originally supposed to be april 25 2020. lol.) because the show was on a saturday and i have to drive 3 hours to get there. obviously i can't speak for them as tde but r5 shows always fucking slapped and i can vouch for them (realized i haven't seem them live since 2016?? 5 YEARS?? wtf) so if u genuinely like them. would recommend going to see them.

anyways. i have not listened to luke's solo album yet. i plan on it. this has gotten so long but i tried to respond in all areas and even organized it in different paragraphs this time (thanks being on desktop!!). hope you are well. hope you have a lovely day. hmm what's a little "going on in my life" fact. i got new glasses a few days ago and my eyes essentially said fuck off because adjusting to the new prescription has left me with eyes that hurt and occasionally slightly nauseous. here is to hoping my eyes get their shit together. mwah LOVE YOU TOO - the other bella/cubs anon/idk

okay hi hello. i have put this off because holy hell it's long but let's do it. i am putting a cut because this whole thing is long even without my answer

first: the road trip was super fun thank you!!! i am intrigued by this information regarding sags and geminis, we should do some scientific inquiry. enquiry. i don't know if there's a difference between those words.

aha! well i tried the ao3 year in review thing and i would say it had about 55% accuracy but still i agree it's fun to look back at that kind of stuff. and i feel you on the angst thing i go through phases of writing angst-heavy stuff and then writing very fluffy stuff and it is entirely based on my mental state buuuut i have lots of fluff and i'm glad you found it all and that you liked it yay <333 KITCHENS ARE FOR LOVERS i will die on that fuckin hill. hotel rooms as well but primarily kitchens.

dfgjhgdlfkhgdfmj honestly i dont use twitter enough that i would see his tweets enough that that would bother me also the fact that he tweets in all caps means that i just picture him yelling everything he tweets which i find absolutely hysterical so i don't think that would help. i have added these parx songs to my listen asap playlist and will get to them when i get a chance thank you i am excited also i already know lowkey as hell and it slaps super hard so im very much lookin forward to the rest of these. merci merci

YEAH simmer was the one i didnt vibe with. and honestly i feel zero compulsion to get into hayley williams as a solo artist. i just don't vibe enough to want to do that so i doubt i'll be listening to her anytime soon but maybe if i hear the songs in passing or get super bored one night, idk who can really say. but yeah christianity typically puts me off of music (speaking as a very jewish bitch) although there are notable exceptions in the cases of thomas rhett and the driver era. i'm just not attached to hayley enough to be like ehhh this doesnt matter. does that make sense

FAVORITE HIMBO PLEASE HGSDFGDFGKLFGJ i dont follow him on twitter but i have seen some interviews of ross and rocky and tbh they're great i love the way ross speaks like i like his speech mannerisms and i like his FACE and HAIR and. yeah. i think hes pretty. and i think he and 5sos SHOULD collab i think that would be sexy as hell. can you imagine that. oh my god can you imagine a ross lynch/luke hemmings collab. i'm not even really talking to you anymore bella because i know you haven't listened to luke yet and don't have a stake in it but if anyone else is reading this long ass answer. ross & luke collab. okay im going to move on and not think about that now. but i probably won't see tde unless i get a job this semester because i'm trying to stop spending so much money on big indulgent things like concerts likeee i was in a really good habit of not spending that much and then suddenly i got paid for one summer and i was just goin Crazy and i need to dial it back. plus i wanna see ajr and noah kahan equally bad so like. i have to make some calls about priorities here. it's Much to think about

good luck to your eyes i'm sure your new glasses are hella cute tho!!! LOVE YOUUUUUUU

#this answer ALSO got long #but like #duhhh #ajr are playing queens in may. that is a LOOOONG way away #so i think im just gonna hold off buying tickets to that #and see what happens #noah kahan tho......... #wait #actually hold on #am i going to see him or did i just think about buying the tickets #wait megs did i ask you about this #one sec other bella i have to go check some things lkdgmj #UHHUHHFGHFDNBDLFJ WAIT #FDGHCDHFGHLSGFHJGDSGFLHAAHHAAHH I DID BUY NOAH KAHAN TIX I JUST FORGOT #THATS REALLY FUNNY OF ME TO DO #CHRIST I AM A FUCKIN IDIOTTTT #megs and i are going to see him lmao i cant believe i just . FORGOT that #OH #RIGHT #AND THATS WHY I LISTENED TO ALL OF BLAKE ROSE #HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH #bad memory bella strikes again #ask #anonymous #cubs anon #well the point stands about ajr #SO

[strawberryspeachy]

Also im sick of obnoxious japanese eaters

Things ive found out are myths here

1) everyones nice.

No. Everyone smiles hard to cover up whatever assholery theyre doing - if theyre supposed to be nice to you. Public people are the same as usual... except theres alot more shoving

2) everything about school

They don’t pay for school. Its free. Just like ours. Except private school. Just like ours

They are not MORE overworked in school nor do they study more. Their rules are much loser. And just like the states, teachers have no real authority- but unlike the states - the students do not fear repercussions. They can be touched though but thats more because japanese people think its fine to touch each other a lot - ya know. Just dont hug as an adult - but all other invading of some kind of private bubble is fine

3) SLURPING No thats not just a “it shows you love the food!” Bs. Just like the states, the people you hear disgustingly slurping just eat loud and are gross... imo... people here dont seem to think its gross but far more people eat like civilized humans and dont slurp everything from solids to actual liquids.

K like every time the past two days ive had to be near people slurping their fucking food and as a person who HATES hearing people eat... its why im bitching here. LETTUCE DOES NOT NEED SLURPED

4) just anything they call “culture” they used a pretty word to cover for “thats just the dumb thing we do here” its literally like if we said aggressively speed driving and cutting people off is new yorkers culture

Japan has a lot of history and traditions. But mostly they have a lot of bs that theyre just too stubborn to acknowledge and change so they lable it culture. Any changes they make are pretty much like when my great grandmother got a cell phone.

She only turned it on to charge it and make a phone call - leave a voicemail saying that she called - and then would turn it back off. It wasnt ever even on long enough for her to need to charge it.

But in her mind no one could complain that she didnt have one. And the only emergency in her mind was her needing to call you - not vice versa. She wouldnt use it for any other purpose and generally resented its existence. She hated watching anyone else use their cell phones to check the time or take pictures or play games or have lenthy conversations.

Yea. Thats basiclly japan with everything new. They have it. But they dont use it , and its possibilities scare them so the old ppl say its not allowed to be used unless the old people need to use it

Sorry man i hate everywhere i am. My aparment is next to a bar that looks permanently closed during the day. I had no clue it was there till after i moved in and the loud karaoke blared into my window every damn night

My train line is a nightmare and if you wanna see the worst japanese people can be. Ride the train during rush hours

My post office is far away and they refuse to ring my doorbell when i have a delivery and instead just leave slip - if you dont hike over in their made up time period they throw your stuff away

No one will actually help you with serious stuff. They just smile and say sorry and run away — customer service. Yea. Not customer service. They could just as easily be a manican with a smiley face - itd serve the same purpose.

Theres too much paperwork constantly all the time about everything

Nothing is online

Another thing that prompted me for this “this is japanese chocolate”

Cool. I got that its japanese. Im in japan. Everything people point out for me “its japanese____” fucking imagine if we felt the need to point out every damn item as “american” in the states. Why? What is the meaning of this?

They gave me a table to sit at at this school. A table. That they make lunch on and put all their supplies on. A dude just kicked my chair as he came over for some shit. Why am i sitting at a table? Very very few japanese people ive worked with dont make me feel like an adopted pet dog that theyre not sure if itll bite. Dog. Not new person. They literlly have the children fetch me...

And ive grown so so very tired of being asked questions with the intention of having me overhype japan while maintaining that im so stupid that i know absolutely nothing about the country

98% of japanese people assume that you think of japan like youve never even heard of their country before arriving and that you just arrived two days ago

Also. Maybe they think their test scores and clases are so much more difficult because they cant seem to fathom that most other countries schools function the same way as theirs

Yesterday a teacher said “ah theyre so overworked. They have alot to remember” i thought she was about to tell me how many units were on their exam or something... no “english, japanese, science, math, history, pe, food class, art! Too many things. Theyre very overworked”

..... are you for real? Im pretty sure every fucking school has those subjects if you switch out japanese for the countries native language.... this is NORMAL

Im sorry. I know the reason anyone talking to me like this might not like me. Cause im not gonna go WOWWW SUGEII?!?!? So much stuff!! Poor them!

No. Yeah? Thats school...

Look im not an asshole to my kids. If they can manage to tell me any information about their life in english or simple japanese i can translate - i act surprised/ or am if their english is super good.

But adults... no man. Learn some stuff about the outside world. Youre not specifical

Also dating boys here is just like back home except they wont block you and they respond less

Instead of getting “nice” “oh” “idk” and “maybe” as there fading messages - they just leave you on read. Or give you some random information that you didnt ask about that has no relevance to the ‘convo’

Also also. “Speak slow” they dont say this in a ‘my english is not good so speak slower’ way. They say this in a ‘i felt really good about my english until you spoke at a normal pace and my classes and ass-kissing white dudes have taught me that enlgish is spoken slow and percisely so if you dont speak with a japanese accent, your fast english is wrong’

Whatever but like... could you return the favor by speaking japanese slowly. Speak it the way you want me to speak english....

Telling them to speak slow results in something like

... nihon..de〜 nan mabdnshsnabsjsnjsbshssnbsjsbsjshsh ka?

Woah ok... something in Japan... couldnt catch the rest of that

Id be more understanding of this. Its hard to speak slow. Lets both acknowledge this and not - teachers compalining to principals and boys... (1) sending me a fucking video on how to speak my own damn language properly

Also. Do you know how upsetting it is to listen to a student say something perfectly but before i get to praise them - have the japanese teacher jump in and “correct” them...... no no dude please. I know youll have a fucking meltdown if i say no your ways wrong. But now this student is so confused desperately staring at me positive theyre correct and all ive come up with to do is smiling and nodding at them while repeating the way they said hoping the japanese teacher wont notice/get offended

Also togo food... if its not american fast food... generally you cant take it to go... its sad. I have no friends. I just wanna take this home to eat in front of my tv. This isnt serious. Its just a minior inconvenience

Also joking... my japanese isnt good enough to joke. And... idk how... cant explain. The other day a student asked whats my favorite food

And another went hamburger?!? Mcdonalds!!?

I wanted to comment.. but. At least elementary students understand sarcasm. Their teachers dont. And whether the middle schoolers understand and just dont care is up in the air.

Oh! And. I was right last week when i didnt trust my teachers saying that the obvious bullying was just a misunderstanding and the obvious targets fault. Another straight up teacher said some kids have left the school because of bullying and theyre really awful when left alone in the rooms... i told him thats why we cant go unsupervised in america. Japan says the students are just perfect upstanding citizens, so much more caring and mature than other students. Nope. Middle schoolers will be middle schoolers no matter what country.

[doritoflorito]

0-44 on ask meme because i love you and want to torment you

I WONDER WHO THIS IS0: Height-around 5'21: Age-192: Shoe size-5 and a half???3: Do you smoke?-very very occasionally when im steamin4: Do you drink?-LMAO ye5: Do you take drugs?-ive only done weed6: Age you get mistaken for-i've had 17 and ive had 22????7: Have tattoos?-not yet O:8: Want any tattoos?-A few!!9: Got any piercings?-firsts, seconds, helix, bellybutton10: Want any piercings?-nipple piercings are cool but i dont like the idea of actually getting it done :C11: Best friend?-a very very sweet bean!! who is super comforting and has a beautiful voice -u-12: Relationship status- ^w^13: Biggest turn ons- oh man uhhhh i have a few in mind but i dont rlly wanna go into all of them hah.. ill say nice arm muscles and good at kissing 14: Biggest turn offs- immaturity, stubbornness, unfaithful, too cocky, impatient, shallowness, unhygienic etc etc just all the displeasing stuff15: Favorite movie-dumbo!! i also love wall-e c:16: I’ll love you if...- idk like...... u respect me i guess???????17: Someone you miss-my great aunt elma!!!! id learn a lot from her if she was still alive18: Most traumatic experience-stuff thats happened with family that i wont get into19: A fact about your personality-im pretty optimistic c:-also apparently bubbly and sometimes airheaded heehee (thanks des and jess!!!)20: What I hate most about myself-various things about my face, im petty and really jealous which isnt good21: What I love most about myself-im great at making friends and my eyeliner is alright (most of the time) and i can draw decently enough!!! i also have an idea about what i want to do in life and ive been told i have a good personality -w-22: What I want to be when I get older-i'm currently studying to be a biomedical scientist!! more specifically a haematologist which is like blood analysis and stuff. i've also been toying with the idea of neurology but djfdg 23: My relationship with my sibling(s)-my brother and i have a lot of good banter between us!! we are both into the same kinds of video games so its nice to have someone to talk to about it since i didnt have many friends that were all that interested in video games growing up24: My relationship with my parent(s)-my relationship with my mum is getting a lot better, my father less so lol.25: My idea of a perfect date-travelling to an unfamiliar place, exploring, going for dinner and a few drinks at a fancy bar, exploring at night time, then video games -u- 26: My biggest pet peeves-clingyness, coming on too strong, untidy rooms if im staying with them, bringing up politics, mansplaining (the equiv for females too)27: A description of the girl/boy I like- very fukin generous28: A description of the person I dislike the most-well i cant fucking get rid of them because everyone else in the group likes them so i cant just cut them out, they have a very similar personality to me which i thought would bring us closer but it actually ended up making us dislike eachother more, theyve accused me of shit and kjdshfjd AAAAAAAAAAAA shhhhhhhh bye29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend-to get out of going places30: What I hate the most about work/school-less time to play video games tbh31: What my last text message says- "AWW Phoebe is so cute!!"32: What words upset me the most-unintelligent, cheating, grades33: What words make me feel the best about myself-adorable, clever34: What I find attractive in women-I LOVE short hair (AND LONG HAIR), freckles, teasing personality, thighs, buff girls are REALLY attractive too35: What I find attractive in men-cute eyes, good sense of humour, respectful, cuddly36: Where I would like to live-somewhere quiet, near nature but also convenient to get places37: One of my insecurities-my face and voice tbh38: My childhood career choice-i wanted to be a knight who slayed dragons lolol i also wanted to be link which is similar i guess39: My favorite ice cream flavor-toffee/caramel/butterscotch40: Who I wish I could be-a successful high up scientist with a stable job and TONS of friends whos SUPER DUPER SMART and if good at dividing their time between work and video games and healthy stuff41: Where I want to be right now-with my online friends tbh42: The last thing I ate-pigs in blankets43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately-brendon urie came to mind but dhgdgn44: A random fact about anything-i just found out the earth supposedly has an underground continent called zealandia??????????

[packitandgo]

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 some people. I was tagged by @jamthedingus (ILY DI)

LAST:

1. Drink: Pepsi

2. Phone call: mm... I wanna say my pharmacy?

3. Text message: heck if I know!! my phone doesn't have service right now lol

4. Song you listen to: the suffering game ost! specifically storm top dog

5. Time you cried: last week when I listened to ep 66 of taz (I'm still crying about lucretia tbh)

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: not really!

8. Been cheated on: nah

9. Lost someone special: not really

10. Been depressed: HA

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: lmao yes, like... last week it was Embarrassing

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. anything in the aqua teal range

13. Mulberry

14. orange shades

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: heck yeah

16. Fallen out of love:... kind? of?? it's confusing lol

17. Laughed until you cried: like last night!

18. Found out someone was talking about you: well I found out my gfbf rambled about me to her chat group A LOT MORE than i thought (#^^#)ゞ

20. Found out who your friends are: uhhh sure?

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: AM I EVEN FB FRIENDS WITH AMBER. i dont even know

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: technically all of them?? but i actually Remember very few of them

23. Do you have any pets: a very fluffy skittish kitty named Dinah!!

24. Do you want to change your name: nah im good!

25. What did you do for your last birthday: had like 5 friends over for wine n pizza!

26. What time do you wake up: 10 or 11

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: chilling on tumblr while listening to mbmbam

28. Name something you can’t wait for: my day off tomorrow!

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: end of august when she left the country haha

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: KNOWING I WAS INTO GIRLS EARLIER instead of dealing w jealousy n internalised shit

31. What are you listening to right now: how to be a heartbreaker

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: there's a chef named tom where i work!

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: when we get TOO MANY EXTRA people at work n have to add a shit ton of new place settings and run out of food

34. Most visited website: tumblr, ao3, ... tbh thats like IT lmao

35. Mole/s: 2 on my face by my mouth, 2 or 3 on my neck, and then LOTS elsewhere too

36. Mark/s: mmm not rly? a few random scars on my legs i guess

37. Childhood dream: lmao i think it was to be a teacher bc school?? was all i knew???

38. Hair color: dark dirty blonde

39. Long or short hair: shoulder length! but i need to cut it soon

40. Do you have a crush on someone: mmm ye n im dating her (IM V LUCKY)

41. What do you like about yourself: uhhhhh idk? eyes i guess?

42. Piercings: just my earlobes

43. Blood type: O

44. Nicknames: jenna, skya

45. Relationship status: happy <3

46. Zodiac: aries! with a sag moon

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: GUH idk? probably galavant or leverage or b99... or pnf or FMAB or or or

50. Right or left hand: left!

51. Surgery: dont think ive had any!!

52. Hair dyed in different color: SOMEDAY when i dont work in customer service i maybe want like./.. blue or purple

53. Sport: haikyuu!! (u meant sports anime, right?)

55. Vacation: greece!!! chilling on a beach n seeing historical sites. OR california/west coast in general to visit friends n road trip OR toronto...

56. Pair of trainers: uhhh i have. some? yes. they're p cool actually they're black n aqua n have POCKETS

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: like... right now? nothing.. i just had matcha gelato tho!

58. Drinking: WATER

59. I’m about to: nap while i wait for my video game to re-download

62. Want: a bigger bed n more snuggles

63. Get married: hides face

64. Career: professional Napper. idk bruh i dont rly want a career i just want enough money to buy all the shit i want n feel secure in life, yanno?

65. Hugs or kisses: OH MAN THATS SO HARD??? but. i think hugs? esp if we're including cuddles.

66. Lips or eyes: both?

67. Shorter or taller: DEPENDS but im gonna go with shorter

68. Older or younger:  older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms!! in that i want strong arms of my own n also they make me flush (soft stomachs ARE nice stomachs)

71. Sensitive or loud: ???

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: t-troublemaker? iguess??

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: nope i only kiss friends +

75. Drank hard liquor:  ya

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: CONSTANTLY

77. Turned someone down: LMAO no, ive never had to

78. Sex on the first date: not for meee

79. Broken someone’s heart: i REALLY doubt it haha

80. Had your heart broken: not really

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: once or twice

83. Fallen for a friend: OFTEN

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: ... im working on it

85. Miracles: why not

86. Love at first sight: like yes, love no

87. Santa Claus: i love tim allen

88. Kiss on the first date: sure!

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: kelcee

91. Eye color: blue~

92. Favorite movie: MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

SO MANY QUESTIONS it was fun tho~

i’m tagging... @boudiscanon @abstract-sunshine @acesiren @rlyqueer @zheenterprize and anyone else who wants to do it~~

#ask memes for ts #answered! #jamthedingus #<3 thanks for the tag di!!

[survivorkvaloya]

Episode #3: “I Wanna Start S#!t” - Chelsea

Honestly, Steffen, not much has happened for me in the first two episodes. We'll go over it really quick. I liked my original tribe of 5 with Jules, Liam, Christine, and Ryan. They were all awesome. My mentor, Colin, a fellow House of Shade alumni--also awesome. We won the flash game challenge (of the 5 competitors of my tribe, I scored 1 point which landed me in the middle of our tribe rankings). I bonded with Christine early. That could be something to hang onto. The following round was a crapshoot competition and we won that, too! On my new tribe, I like Lauren and Jack and I also have Christine there. I really wish there was more dirt or drama because I love writing lengthy confessionals, but things are just getting started here!

Alright. So I guess no one wants pleasant kind hearted lily around. They want mean angry bitter ass lily which I'm happy to give but they ain't gonna like it. I got an extra vote on this island thing that no one is gonna know about because fuck these bitches. I know I will need the upper hand later when the couples try to destroy the singles. When I get out of reflection island I'm gonna try to buddy up with Connor and ask him to be my new mentor. Jules I'm pissed. I wish I knew exactly what happened but I will try to get to the bottom of it and make sure all those losers pay. I hope you start feeling better too. I feel like I can't trust anyone after that but Jackson seems pretty genuine of not knowing or not being able to do anything. But, because of this HUGE betrayal everyone on that other tribe can fend for themselves. I'll be all nice nice yeah I'd love to work with you but nah. I ain't interested. Let's be clear here, I have no loyalties and I'm not playing some kind of loyal game. You cut my mentor ill cute you. BYE Andreas also told me about Jules getting voted out most likely before the vote which is cool. I appreciate that. But Nicholas Colin we ain't buddies. I'm rooting for a student to win but it ain't y'all. Tonight I will hopefully put together a board of what original tribes people were on their swap tribe and who their mentor is. I think this will help me get a better picture of what's going on. Also, being bitter as fuck only two days in? My aesthetic. 

Oh and also I miss the damn creative challenge? There better be more to come because I'm sad. I've never done a music video challenge this was my shot and these bitches took me out!!! What the HECKIE???? 

nothing's really happened imo. this main is slow. i want drama. nicholas said there's a majority cross tribe alliance. where's my invite? i wanna start shit. my goal is just to make merge so i can blow up, the best way "Trixsea" Steele knows how. :) :) :)

I know i killed this music video challenge, but Chelsea told me that me and only 3 others submitted anything and after re-reading the rules and seeing that its an extra 5 points for every appearance we could actually be fucked. It wouldn't be to big of a problem because honestly I like going to tribal and getting to vote people off, but I also know of the cross tribe majority alliance who supposedly has majority on our tribe right now. If we lose this I'll probably try to blow up and either shake that alliance up or go out in a blaze of chaotic glory.  

Im at tribal right now and I was getting a sick feeling that I was going to be the one voted out... But I always feel like that. I think that I am going to get my team together, Liam got a vote and if he wasn't sure if he wanted to work with me (even thought he said he wanted to) so yeah.... Me, Andreas, Colin, Liam, Ryan, Jackson... Then we have the numbers? yeah cus there is only nine of us rn. We could pull in Conner to make life really easy and to add a couple number just encase. If we do that then out of everyone we would have: Me and Liam, Colin and Brett, Ryan and Jackson, Andreas and... someone (-_- sorry) and then Conner who lost their student. Thats 9 people in a game with 18? maybe that  about half. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore but I do know that this needs to happen soon before I get bumped to the side... I do no like being a side bitch 

Ahhhh, I'm literally so in love with this challenge it was so much fun and Chelsea did such an amazing job editing it. If we don't win I'll be shocked...and scared. Lauren disappeared for a bit and didn't participate so like I'm a little...or a lot worried for her. As of right now I literally love this tribe. QuilLynn is super smart and I adore her, Willow and Chelsea are sweet and adorable and Brett is a gem. I guess the only person I haven't clicked with is Jack but for now everything's looking good and Im hoping we win the challenge :)

Whew, I'm so excited to have won immunity! The challenge was so much fun and now...its messy cause alliances are starting to form and QuilLynn told me about one that apparently me and Lauren are in? So I don't know if Lauren's making deals without me or what, but nobody's approached me specifically and I'm not in any chats so! I'm not sure what's going on and I don't like it. I think right now my #1 is QuilLynn. She's smart, sweet and very easy to talk to so I officially adore her and wanna protect her at all costs. I need to get things in order with Lauren cause I don't wanna get in the middle of some warfare we don't need to be in. 

We lost. Again. This is the worst. My tribe is cursed. Kinda. It's like a blessing in disguise for me tbh. I'm using this time to recover from last round and regroup. There's more talk of a majority alliance forming and I wanna make sure it happens so I can solidify my place in it. I think my number 1 ally has shifted from Nicholas to Jackson now. Jackson is literally my fave person in this game. He's so nice and fun to talk to, he's socially and strategically aware, and most importantly, he's really cute and nice to look at so! I still got that alliance with JD and Andreas but I am not really loyal to it. JD seems to playing messily and I've mentioned before Andreas seems too well connected for his own good. Anyway, onto this vote! Literally? The only thing I've heard? Is Connor? but....... that's all I've heard. Connor isn't putting out another name. No one else is putting out another name. And that's a recipe for paranoia in my mind. I wanna trust the majority that's been built, JD says Jackson and Ryan will be voting with us, and I trust them 10000% but I'm a paranoid hoe. 

my confessional game so far has been weak af so far like I literally forgot to write a confessional last round, so I guess I'll just do a quick recap. Essentially I have mixed feelings about my tribe bc there are 3 other people who I really like Chelsea, QuilLynn, and Gage. We ended up creating an alliance and QuilLynn titled it "arent you Klad I didn't say fjorden" which is iconic! Anyway that cookie challenge last round killed me but I'm glad I came up with the strategy to split 3 on 0, 3 on 9 and 3 in the middle. Lily was convinced that they weren't going to put all their cookies on one of our tribe mates so like I'm kinda glad I proved her wrong lmao idk. As for the people I have mixed feelings about Jack is okay I mean he usually replies but in PMs he can be kinda boring and give one word answers. Christine is really nice but she just doesnt reply a lot? maybe she just doesnt like small talk or something. Brett, I've heard really good things about him but he only replies when its about him lol, like if I ever start sharing one of my stories or whatever idk he just stops replying lol. Lauren, okay shes super cute but seems inactive. Anyway I was like super excited that we got to do the music video challenge this round, its always super fun even though what I make is always really awkward lmao. Anyway like 4 people from our tribe didnt submit, Jack was sick (so he says), Gage was moving which is alright, and Lauren (didn't say anything about why she didn't do it lol), and Chelsea was editing so its all good. Shes like a really good editor and our video turned out great so I'm glad we won even though we had like 4 people in the video compared to them having like 7. So then QuilLynn informs me that Chelsea told her that theres a majority alliance of like 8ish people?? like what the fuck thats about half the people here. So its Andreas-Jack, Colin-Brett, JD-Liam, and potentially Lauren-Christine. And there are a bunch of people we're unsure could be in the alliance. And then as Im hearing about the alliance I'm realizing that it consists of the people on my tribe who dont always reply to me lol or when they do are boring. And I mean I know im not the most interesting texter but these people are worse then me. So then I was talking to Ryan and asking him about his tribe and the reward and stuff to see if I could get any information about whether if hes in the majority or not without directly asking. So I was like whats was the idol clue reward this time and he told me about how it has to do with whoever gets the lowest score in the challenge, which sounds super complicated bc if someone with the lowest score doesnt have the clue then no one gets the idol. And he gave the clue to me, and I wanna give it to QuilLynn but we dont need too many people throwing the challenge and if one of our alliance members already has it then it should be alright, and it'll keep up my trust with Ryan since Im not supposed to give it to anyone so Im hoping its a win win. but he told me that I wasnt supposed to tell anyone about what the reward was but before he told me that I had already told my alliance bc I think I trust them more oops? but I think I want to trust Ryan. I told him that I heard rumors about a cross tribe majority alliance but thats all I knew, and he told me about a group of mentors and students talk about a potential alliance and they asked Danielle about it and she told Ryan she would try to get him in if she could. So then I tried talking to Danielle just making small talk or whatever and she only gave one word answers, which was fucking weird? Like some shit is clearly going on that I dont know about? I can already tell im becoming messy af which I wanted to not try to do as much as I did last season but maybe im just naturally a messy player and theres nothing I can do about it lol. Anyway I hope the majority isnt something I should worry about and I hope they self destruct somehow or Im just hoping that it doesnt exist at all and it was just a rumor made up to scare people or some shit.