#there is no other way to replicate the uniquely human experience of looking at your 200 puffballs and going
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xadian field guide
#the dragon prince#tdp#rayla#callum#aaravos#aquanutart#if you aren't waking up at 6am before work to color two hundred puffballs are you really living#there is no other way to replicate the uniquely human experience of looking at your 200 puffballs and going#'i have woken up before dawn to color these puffballs thank god they are done'#and i think that is beautiful#actually i've had this lying around unfinished for three years because i did not want to color the 200 puffballs#in this day and age there has to be a way to make it a photoshop brush#i did manage to copy and paste some which helped but#because i delayed coloring it for three years i forgot where i copy and pasted what#and so i was not able to use it so much for the coloring because i didn't know where to match it up...#and i actually tried making a brush but i didn't know how to make it keep the colors#so it made this shape of like 50 puffballs with their little eyes cut out#but it was all the one color i had selected. only in the shape of the puffballs#anyway damn i feel so alive#at least i did when i originally wrote these tags which is before i actually finished this#then i experienced the other uniquely human feeling of coming home from work and realizing it looked totally unlike what i wanted#and that i was going to have to spend the entire rest of my free time that week recoloring it from scratch#as well as rearranging the panels and fixing some things because i didn't know how to warp text along a curve#so i had made the book page flat in order to have non-curved text and it looked wrong and i ended up handwriting it#anyway it took me 17 hours to recolor this from scratch not in small part because i kept not knowing how to shade the puffballs#i mean the puffballs are individually shaded but the mass of them also has a shadow side and what's it supposed to look like?#i kept thinking the shadow colors looked muddy and every time i tried to change them i had to recolor all the balls with 14 different colors#it was so confusing i finally just said enough. i tried looking at objects covered in multicolored pompoms for reference yet still idk#anyway now that i have talked so much i've completely distracted everyone from the joke. please ignore this and laugh at the joke#the moral of this story i think is that actually i do not recommend individually drawing this many puffballs
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This is an excellent summary of the problems with AI Art beyond even the legal issues of copyright- though it indirectly addresses them as well- and especially points out why the comparisons between human learning and the algorithm “learning” only show a deep ignorance of the human process— and why relying on the algorithm will create nothing but stagnation.
From Christopher Doehling:
“I’m often accused of not understanding how gen-AI works. Nahh. I understand. Counter: a lot of tech people don’t understand human creativity or learning. I have backgrounds in all three. But mostly in art and creativity. Check my LinkedIn profile.
Before you come at me with “computers learn/create like peoples do” consider: it may be you who are in a strange land. Not me. Before you go running into the jungle, you might want a guide.
For example, ever wonder why it took us so long to learn how to draw and paint "realistically"(to make images that look like what we see)? It's because by default, our brains learn concepts, not visuals. For most, our eyes are used to recognize, not replicate.
It's like our mind throws away the visual information that is explicit, and exchanges it for understanding. I quickly know a cat from any angle I see it. I know that they are furry quadrupeds that purr when you pet them unless they scratch you. I know a cat when I see one.
My eyes also help me quickly understand the 3d space the cat occupies, so that I know where it is in relationship to my body, so that I can pet it or avoid it. My eyes help me understand "cats". Can I draw one? Not easily, because my brain, by default, doesn't care about that.
Unless... I want to care. I want to make images that represent or communicate my understanding of "Cat". Early art is more abstracted/symbolic because we expressed concepts first before explicit visuals. 4 lines= 4 legs. Shape language tells the story, with an arresting style...
Even if the exact visual (what my eyes saw) is not transmitted. Its not that we didn't want to. We didn't know how, any beginning artist experiences the same problem. Your brain wants to express what it knows conceptually, not what the eye sees.
But over time, our concepts and understanding grew to include things like optics, math, color theory. Tools we could (with great effort) apply to our artistic expressions as well.
Filippo Brunelleschi (re?)discovered linear perspective not just by looking at the world around him or at other art, but by application of those concepts. and then, finally, we could (again?)draw and paint what we saw. We could also make others see what we had only imagined.
So, we draw what we know, about what we see. Even if what we see is other art, even if I do a master copy, It comes from a place of concept. We are seeking to understand technique, another's experience, another's knowledge, not just absorb a visual for later source material.
evidence: If you have not gained at least some of the same conceptual understanding that the master did, you probably will not be able to copy their work, at least not convincingly.
"Generative" Ai (as it is) is not only unlike humans in the way that it learns, it is the polar opposite. It can copy what it sees. it can combine what it sees. But it does so without any understanding at all. About anything. At all.
A computer does not know what "cat" is. It may have some pixels->patterns that are keyworded "cat" but that is all it has. It can denoise from those latent images/parts of images, but it will only do so as instructed by our keyword requests and/or randomly seeded math, etc.
The only concepts delivered into an AI gen image are those given by the original artists or photographers. If you see a cat, its because someone else (or many someones) gave you cats to see. All the Ai did was serve it up, blindly combined.
The uniqueness of each of us, our experiences, and the concepts we learn and teach are what makes art evolve. If Ai had "taken over" for us at, say, the medieval period (in Europe), Art movements would have ended there too. Renniassance, Baroque, Impressionism, Cubism,...
Etc. they never would have happened. because no matter what prompt you gave, all you would get would be remixes of Medieval paintings, or anything previous to that time period. Ai doesn't make anything really new. not the way we do. It only (blindly) combines what's already made.
That's what's at stake here. We are on the brink of handing our creativity over to something that isn't creative. Why would we limit ourselves like that? If you think it makes art easy, it doesn't. It's an illusion. All you have is the art made up to this point. and no more.
If you want to be an artist, be one. No matter what your skill level, it's better than this. You are contributing of yourself to the world. You are contributing. period.
P.S. it’s not that Ai doesn’t have valid uses as a real tool. But when we get the idea that it’s a pet pro artist that “does the dirty work for me”, that’s a dark path. The dirty work is what moves us forward. it’s also the fun part, and we are the only ones who can really do it.”
Original post:
https://twitter.com/dolimac/status/1635286958330224641?s=46&t=MInooHF4e3-CHmlyx2cj8w
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Why are you here? | Tony Edition
To create
For as long as you can remember, it's never been enough to just experience this world as an observer. You aren't satisfied merely consuming the work of others. This world is rife with inspiration. You can't look at it without wanting to bring something of your own into it. It's not enough just to experience it, you have to depict those experiences, the ideas they inspire in you. Your feelings and thoughts churn inside you, begging to be given shape. You are full to the point of overflowing and you'll burst if you don't get it out somehow. You are a born artist, someone who can't live without creating something of their own along the way. Perhaps you wish there was some way you could pour this entire existence out into your work, engrave your entire being into something that will outlive you. There is a universe inside you and your greatest fear might just be dying before you can get it all out. So, don't let yourself be held back by fears of inadequacy. It's very vulnerable, to share yourself with the world as an artist does. Fear is only natural, but don't let it be what stops you. You're here to create what no one else can, to bring out into the world all the ideas you'd otherwise take to the grave. You are a person who will never exist twice, a human who will never walk this earth as you do now again. This life is an opportunity to do what no one else can do for you. So, don't waste it holding yourself back from creating the art that couldn't exist without you. Write, draw, sculpt, sing, do whatever it is you want to do! Even if it's clumsy, even if it doesn't turn out exactly like you wanted, you will have made something no one else can. No matter how many similar ideas others have, no one else will execute them exactly like you. The fruits of your hands can't be replicated. However subtle, they have a touch that no one else can imitate, your own unique fingerprint. What could be more worth devoting your life to, than bringing into this world that which couldn't exist without you?
tagging: YOU
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WHY ARE YOU HERE?
to create.
for as long as you can remember, it's never been enough to just experience this world as an observer. you aren't satisfied merely consuming the work of others. this world is rife with inspiration. you can't look at it without wanting to bring something of your own into it. it's not enough just to experience it, you have to depict those experiences, the ideas they inspire in you. your feelings and thoughts churn inside you, begging to be given shape. you are full to the point of overflowing and you'll burst if you don't get it out somehow.
you are a born artist, someone who can't live withoput creating something of their own along the way. perhaps you wish there was some way you could pour this entire existence out into your work, engrave your entire being into something that will outlive you. there is a universe inside you and your greatest fear might just be dying before you can get it all out. so, don't let yourself be held back by fears of inadequacy. it's very vulnerable, to share yourself with the world as an artist does. fear is only natural, but don't let it be what stops you. you're here to create what no one else can, to bring out into the world all the ideas you'd otherwise take to the grave.
you are a person who will never exist twice, a human who will never walk this earth as you do now again. this life is an opportunity to do what no one else can do for you. so, don't waste it holding yourself back from creating the art that couldn't exist without you. write, draw, sculpt, sing, do whatever it is you want to do! even if it's clumsy, even if it doesn't turn out exactly like you wanted, you will have made something no one else can. no matter how many similar ideas others have, no one else will execute them exactly like you. the fruits of your hands can't be replicated. however subtle, they have a touch that no one else can imitate, your own unique fingerprint. what could be more worth devoting your life to, than bringing into this world that which couldn't exist without you?
tagged by: @langdhon 🩵
tagging: @hidesinhiswork, @redemptioninterlude, @sylkshe, @untilthcyrot, @freak1ish & you reading this! say i tagged you.
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WHY IS SONNY HERE ?
to create
For as long as you can remember, it's never been enough to just experience this world as an observer. You aren't satisfied merely consuming the work of others. This world is rife with inspiration. You can't look at it without wanting to bring something of your own into it. It's not enough just to experience it, you have to depict those experiences, the ideas they inspire in you. Your feelings and thoughts churn inside you, begging to be given shape. You are full to the point of overflowing and you'll burst if you don't get it out somehow. You are a born artist, someone who can't live without creating something of their own along the way. Perhaps you wish there was some way you could pour this entire existence out into your work, engrave your entire being into something that will outlive you. There is a universe inside you and your greatest fear might just be dying before you can get it all out. So, don't let yourself be held back by fears of inadequacy. It's very vulnerable, to share yourself with the world as an artist does. Fear is only natural, but don't let it be what stops you. You're here to create what no one else can, to bring out into the world all the ideas you'd otherwise take to the grave. You are a person who will never exist twice, a human who will never walk this earth as you do now again. This life is an opportunity to do what no one else can do for you. So, don't waste it holding yourself back from creating the art that couldn't exist without you. Write, draw, sculpt, sing, do whatever it is you want to do! Even if it's clumsy, even if it doesn't turn out exactly like you wanted, you will have made something no one else can. No matter how many similar ideas others have, no one else will execute them exactly like you. The fruits of your hands can't be replicated. However subtle, they have a touch that no one else can imitate, your own unique fingerprint. What could be more worth devoting your life to, than bringing into this world that which couldn't exist without you?
TAGGED BY: @sapphiredhearts & @multi-royalty <3
TAGGING: YOUUUUU
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Why Are You Here?
To Create:
For as long as you can remember, it's never been enough to just experience this world as an observer. You aren't satisfied merely consuming the work of others. This world is rife with inspiration. You can't look at it without wanting to bring something of your own into it. It's not enough just to experience it, you have to depict those experiences, the ideas they inspire in you. Your feelings and thoughts churn inside you, begging to be given shape. You are full to the point of overflowing and you'll burst if you don't get it out somehow. You are a born artist, someone who can't live without creating something of their own along the way. Perhaps you wish there was some way you could pour this entire existence out into your work, engrave your entire being into something that will outlive you. There is a universe inside you and your greatest fear might just be dying before you can get it all out. So, don't let yourself be held back by fears of inadequacy. It's very vulnerable, to share yourself with the world as an artist does. Fear is only natural, but don't let it be what stops you. You're here to create what no one else can, to bring out into the world all the ideas you'd otherwise take to the grave. You are a person who will never exist twice, a human who will never walk this earth as you do now again. This life is an opportunity to do what no one else can do for you. So, don't waste it holding yourself back from creating the art that couldn't exist without you. Write, draw, sculpt, sing, do whatever it is you want to do! Even if it's clumsy, even if it doesn't turn out exactly like you wanted, you will have made something no one else can. No matter how many similar ideas others have, no one else will execute them exactly like you. The fruits of your hands can't be replicated. However subtle, they have a touch that no one else can imitate, your own unique fingerprint. What could be more worth devoting your life to, than bringing into this world that which couldn't exist without you?
Tagged By: stolen from @warofthebeasts
Tagging: Anyone who wants to do it!
#Memes and Prompts#:eyes: Idk what I was expecting him to get with that quiz but#y'know what I am okay with this#I can work with this
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Why are you here?
To create
For as long as you can remember, it's never been enough to just experience this world as an observer. You aren't satisfied merely consuming the work of others. This world is rife with inspiration. You can't look at it without wanting to bring something of your own into it. It's not enough just to experience it, you have to depict those experiences, the ideas they inspire in you. Your feelings and thoughts churn inside you, begging to be given shape. You are full to the point of overflowing and you'll burst if you don't get it out somehow.
You are a born artist, someone who can't live without creating something of their own along the way. Perhaps you wish there was some way you could pour this entire existence out into your work, engrave your entire being into something that will outlive you. There is a universe inside you and your greatest fear might just be dying before you can get it all out. So, don't let yourself be held back by fears of inadequacy. It's very vulnerable, to share yourself with the world as an artist does. Fear is only natural, but don't let it be what stops you.
You're here to create what no one else can, to bring out into the world all the ideas you'd otherwise take to the grave. You are a person who will never exist twice, a human who will never walk this earth as you do now again. This life is an opportunity to do what no one else can do for you. So, don't waste it holding yourself back from creating the art that couldn't exist without you. Write, draw, sculpt, sing, do whatever it is you want to do! Even if it's clumsy, even if it doesn't turn out exactly like you wanted, you will have made something no one else can. No matter how many similar ideas others have, no one else will execute them exactly like you. The fruits of your hands can't be replicated. However subtle, they have a touch that no one else can imitate, your own unique fingerprint. What could be more worth devoting your life to, than bringing into this world that which couldn't exist without you?
tagged by: @poeticphoenix
tagging:
#imma pretend i didn't take this three times until i liked result and until i felt like the test results fit sephiroth better but#i feel this one fits in the sense of post nibelheim sephiroth because his...very obvious megalomania#headcanons#headcanon
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To create (Why are you here?)
For as long as you can remember, it's never been enough to just experience this world as an observer. You aren't satisfied merely consuming the work of others. This world is rife with inspiration. You can't look at it without wanting to bring something of your own into it.
It's not enough just to experience it, you have to depict those experiences, the ideas they inspire in you. Your feelings and thoughts churn inside you, begging to be given shape. You are full to the point of overflowing and you'll burst if you don't get it out somehow. You are a born artist, someone who can't live without creating something of their own along the way. Perhaps you wish there was some way you could pour this entire existence out into your work, engrave your entire being into something that will outlive you. There is a universe inside you and your greatest fear might just be dying before you can get it all out. So, don't let yourself be held back by fears of inadequacy. It's very vulnerable, to share yourself with the world as an artist does. Fear is only natural, but don't let it be what stops you. You're here to create what no one else can, to bring out into the world all the ideas you'd otherwise take to the grave. You are a person who will never exist twice, a human who will never walk this earth as you do now again. This life is an opportunity to do what no one else can do for you. So, don't waste it holding yourself back from creating the art that couldn't exist without you. Write, draw, sculpt, sing, do whatever it is you want to do! Even if it's clumsy, even if it doesn't turn out exactly like you wanted, you will have made something no one else can. No matter how many similar ideas others have, no one else will execute them exactly like you. The fruits of your hands can't be replicated. However subtle, they have a touch that no one else can imitate, your own unique fingerprint. What could be more worth devoting your life to, than bringing into this world that which couldn't exist without you?
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HK-55: Analysis: scan reveals no evidence you possess a secondary personality matrix, master. It is possible your brain is simply malfunctioning.
I've been dwelling on these words since last night in comparison to Eight's whole deal with not having an original personality and how the way his mind works is a great deal more similar to droid processes rather than an organic kind, but that's not to say he's robotic. It's just a similar idea when you forcibly change your own while being self-aware. For droids, this is called Metaprocessing: where you run a second code against your baseline, which lets you edit your process against what you were originally designed for, making a unique personality over time.
He may not have a secondary personality matrix, but he can metaprocess, and it's more as if he has an interchangeable personality matrix with multiple processes. That's what SCORPIO would notice about him and why they relate to one another more than his other companions. (I'm not sure how Eight ended up so functional as an organic being, but it may be my fault that I based him off Motoko Kusanagi of Ghost in the Shell fame and added my own experiences of dissecting being human to the mix).
Another thought I've had is that Jadus, during Eight's long sleep in cryo, would fixate on this greatly.
He's well aware he could lose his prized Hand, a one-of-a-kind being and the only person he could ever call a companion. I headcanon'd that his hobby is techno-organic surgery as made evident through the faceless cyborg servants he remade in uniform image; so I was struck by the thought that he would try to replicate Eight himself, but mostly out of idle thought rather than a true project while waiting for him to reawaken.
In Jadus' laboratory, there are countless synthdroids that all were based off Eight in some way. Appearance, ability, function, personality. All failures of course, but when Jadus joins the Alliance, he gifts a few simple androids to Eight.
It's nothing more than a beautified doll that resembles the parts of him Jadus' finds most attractive, but keeping it around amuses him, and Eight soon finds it serves as a great body double if needed-- or a practice dummy. They serve tea quite well if commanded to, but Lana and Theron don't seem to appreciate their work as much as he does, with Theron immediately suggesting he get a restraining order for Jadus.
Eight: I don't know what you're talking about. (smiles) I find it sweet he thought of me.
Theron: personally, I would not be thrilled if someone made a droid that looked and acted like me except obedient.
Eight: Is that so? I see your kind walking around base everyday.
Theron: are you calling me a gonk droid or a mouse droid? because either way, I'm offended.
#super eccentric duo continues to be insane in front of the entire alliance calls it true love 300 injured 450 traumatized#kotfe/et au#swtor#jadorre#lets put my thoughts on humanism inside my oc-- aw shit thats transhumanism#oc: orradiz
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unfortunately i'm still fixated on people who theorize about fnaf, and lore culture in general. there is some kind of interesting contrast to be had among hardcore lore-hunting, cut content datamining, and emergent play narratives. i'm extremely biased and often find lorehunting rather distasteful, i'm fascinated by cut content but don't assign particular patterns of meaning to it, and emergent narratives based on the player's unique experience of a game is the best thing in the world.
some of my favorite examples of emergent narrative are from board game sessions of arkham horror, where interpreting the series of mechanical actions to discard an ally card, then an item card, then move several spaces utilizing a character ability and go to the other dimensions was played up to great reactions among the other players as shooting your dog, chugging whiskey (the discarded cards) and riding your motorcycle into a portal to an alien dimension. I ran my Arkham games as a non-player, acting as manager of all the moving parts, advice giver, and ttrpg-style GM setting tone and aiming to immerse.
physical games' play is never truly automatic; people have to move parts, make decisions, interpret rules, etc.; this sort of GMing is automated by digital games. the narrative of a board game is mostly but not exclusively the story of the player actions, and small pieces and cards symbolize larger concepts and suggest and imply narrative without dictating it.
interpreting digital games involves looking at models that presumably are literally the thing they represent, unlike the more clearly symbolic rook or queen pieces representing those positions in chess. there appears to be a "true" experience maintained by the rules and code and graphics and sound of the game independent of any one player's playthrough. the story "exists" in a way that it does not in an unopened Arkham box or chess board.
but video games often have multiple paths or endings, affected by player actions and choices.* human playthroughs are necessarily strictly unique even if the differences do not lead to meaningful differences in the gameplay, because beyond a certain scale you can't perfectly replicate that many inputs perfectly. there's a tension between the hardcoded aspects of the game that contributed to its narrative and the unique experiences of various players who might have different interpretations, including seeing more or fewer parts of the game by missing areas, quests, endings, etc.
some games give more space to built-in story and others to player narratives; minecraft being a sandbox is directly connected to it becoming a platform for narrative focused SMPs and playthroughs.** games without significantly diverging paths*** like fnaf are more susceptible to hardcore lore hunting - especially if the story to be uncovered and solved is the one discovered by the player character, not performed by them.
when people become dissatisfied or confused with a game's contribution to established lore (or established gameplay, or both), cut content often becomes a particular fixation. this makes a lot of intuitive sense - man, I wish we'd gotten that instead of this. the behind-the-scenes snapshots of hidden game files, alternate maps, and dev notes become tempting puzzles to solve. their ambiguity and severed context makes them easy targets to reconstruct development history and dev intentions, as well as re/constructing an alternate lore that either could have been or perhaps actually is, evidence of some kind of platonic ideal of the game that is more real and faithful than the actual finished product.****
I think my problem is mainly that this is not the only or correct way to interpret game narratives, and I resent that it's so dominant even as I find it fascinating to spectate. It assumes no errors or lack of intent, except when errors or lack of intent are used as evidence of a specific interpretation. Communities will eat themselves as they all fight over what is most correct, but there's also weirdly palpable bond because of the intense level of caring they all have in common.
there's more to be said about transformative works & how it intersects here but i've talked enough and I really think i'm gonna have to read saussure for this shit :(
*there's something to be said here about "meaningful play" as defined in Rules of Play and walking simulators, but I can't do that rn.
**frequently also recalling the specter of TTRPGs and RP styles because D&D's many tendrils are everywhere all the time.
***here I'm not including "bad endings" because a discussion of e.g. playthroughs where you don't make it to any ending deserves its own consideration; those, from a pro-player narrative standpoint, are equally "canon," which is to say the concept of "canon" is not useful or truly coherent.
****DARK SOULS 2 DISCOURSE I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU SPECIFICALLY.
#LONG POST#i'd apologize but honestly you've seen this song & dance from me before. you all have to know#turns out given the choice between actually reading a foundational text on semiotics and watching fnaf lore videos that exasperate me.#i will choose the latter. oops
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just dropping by with some questions if you don't mind , for how long have you been drawing and do you have any tips for drawing humans ? (i've been drawing for a while but i am used to only drawing animals , but your's and others art has insipired me to go out of my comfort zone and try to draw humans)
Hello!! I apologize for the delayed response, I hope you don't think I was ignoring you! (Mother's Day at a flower shop is insane haha)
But!
I have been drawing basically my whole life? What started as stick people slowly turned into chubby chibis with enormous heads, which turned into slightly more human-looking people in a mix of cartoony anime style, and then taking art classes and majoring in art helped grow my style into still more human-looking people (lol), which is a general mix of cartoony-anime and somewhat realistic?
I'm gonna sit and think really hard and long on good tips for you!!!
Draw from pictures: Still photos have the advantage of allowing you to focus on something unchanging, so you can study one thing in unwavering detail
Draw from life: Watching how bodies shift and move, how muscles contract and stretch, how emotions change the whole posture - all of that will train your eyes to grasp a more loose gesture of the whole picture, the body as a whole
Study human anatomy: bones, muscles, skin - how does it all connect? Knowing what's inside an arm will help you understand how to build an arm from nothing
People watch!! So many body types! So many ways people hold themselves and walk! So many hairstyles and clothing styles! People with walkers and wheelchairs and prosthetics!
Break it down: Basic lines turn into basic shapes, which build up into more and more complex ideas until you have planes of a face, muscles weaving in a thigh
Gesture drawing: Quick studies of the way the body fits in space! Exaggerate it like animators do, stretch and pull the body to make it more fluid and expressive! Practice mode: Time yourself. See a pose, scribble it down loosely in 10-30 seconds. NEXT!
Figure drawing: Drawing a real person in front of you is probably the best way to get used to drawing bodies (I know it can be awkward, but they don't have to be naked, although that does help if they're cool with it! You can even watch your roommate or family member from across the room and go from there.)
Get obsessed: Sounds silly? Well, if you get seriously invested in someone cute you know, or a character you really like, then take it to the next level and DRAW THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
Draw yourself! In the mirror, your hands, from pictures, the way other people see you
Get models: You can totally hire models, or go to a local school who has figure art classes, but you don't have to! There are people around you who can model for you, poseable art models in plastic and wood, you have options!
Watch cartoons/anime/animation: Watch what the animators/character design team choose to accentuate and highlight in a design, what makes them look more human or not
Similarly, study other artists' work (in general): See how art has evolved over time and how different artists express the human body visually! Every artist does things differently, and there's stuff to learn from everyone!
Be okay with literally learning all the time. No experience is wasted, no piece "trash" just because it doesn't replicate what you see. Artist eyes are always working and creating things in our heads, and little "oh!" moments will hit you when you least expect it. The way someone's collarbone curves suddenly. The way someone's smile is shaped, but you never noticed before. Little things.
Websites: There are websites for quick pose studies, for expressive movements, for manipulating your own little model, for all sorts of things!
Literally the bottom line is to draw. Like. The more you draw, the more you will find what you want to change about your style, or what you really like about it that might make it unique! Draw lots of people! Don't get discouraged! Draw scribbly people and mystery people and people in colored pencils only and old people and people made out of shadows only! The hardest thing is choosing what to draw first, but if you're already an animal artist, translating that over to people might be easier than you think!
Also, I know the list is long but I'm chatty and want to help! I hope it's not overwhelming, and don't expect things to change immediately. Let yourself grow and bloom organically and over time.
Draw on, friend!! :D
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I’ve been chatting on Reddit about aphansasia and someone shared this essay with me. (Below is a screenshot that stood out)
I relate to about 90% of what he’s shared of his experience.
One thing has been vexing me when it comes to accepting that I have a very poor ability to visualise - and certainly my former friend wanted to use as a valid example to disprove I have no visual imagination. I can imagine, make up, play with lots of things in my brain. I have a rich inner world. How do I make @stupidlittledoodles if I can’t visualise?
This is how…
Milk voice = the neutral voice in your head that reminds you to buy milk. Do the dishes. Etc.
The doodles are visual mad libs. I don’t imagine images and go ooh I should draw that. I don’t see the doodle in my head as it is seen on the page. I experience concepts.
Me in my head:
- lol i bet a reverse mermaid but it’s a bloke and has a human penis would look funny.
- Lol remember that time my partner ran around the house with his dick and balls out the top of his jeans and I called it a blep and we found it hilarious.
- my cat is such a slut. She needs an only fans. Oh wait what if there was an only fans for cats. What would it be called?? Only Felines. She’d do some camming. She’d need a laptop…
They’re simple so I DONT have to spend time looking for a reference. A few are traced so I can make them quickly without too much effort to communicate the concept easily, and the touch of realism adds to the lols. I use my iPad like an accessibility tool bc it’s quicker to edit as I go than analogue sketching. They’re not meant to look realistic on the whole.
It’s interesting to me that I started these doodles as a way to move away from perfectionism & let go of realism, because all I have is realism. I can only see what’s real when I open my eyes. I cannot picture surrealism. I can gather references for the concepts of surrealism, or specific artistic techniques, or styles of artistic greats, and years of study mean I can replicate these things into creating something uniquely mine. But I don’t see the image. I judge each stroke as I go. It’s like pulling a thread.
Problem is, with stupid little doodles, my brain isn’t able to mad lib like that all the time. The ideas I get are sparked by quips in conversations, random bits between friends, jokes, maybe even vocalised visual randomness from other peoples brains, that I’m able to illustrate. I live a very solitary life these days so im not exposed to these moments often, and I miss that creativity. It only happens when I’m bouncing off other people. I’ve sat with this feeling of personal failure for a while, why don’t I do them anymore? I really love creating them. They’re like a dopamine button for me too! Maybe I’ll figure out ways to spark this part of my brain again. For now I’m choosing to focus elsewhere.
A lot of my creativity comes this way. A solitary life suits me, but doesn’t suit my creativity. I have to externalise a lot of my brain to function, so lot of my ideas are externally generated through my unique perspective human experience. I’m not sure how to describe this process entirely yet. But it’s been on my mind for a while. In order to make art I need to go out in the world and have experiences, but there’s people and things out there, so I stay in.
I’ll get back to the world soon I hope. Burnout is a bitch.
#artist on tumblr#queer artist#autistic artist#autistic burnout#aphantasia#art journal#stupid little doodles#burnout#burn them all
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Do you have any advice for actually taking what you learn when analysing stories and applying those principals and techniques to your own writing in a cohesive way?
I don't think learning, growing, or gaining a skill every really happens in a cohesive, logical way. It's a weird and messy process. Humans don't even really adapt to sleep in a orderly fashion--look up sleep regression sometime.
You can watch a video of someone performing a martial arts move ten thousand times: on slow-mo, backwards, forwards, figuring out their exact stance and the exact way they move their muscles. You watch interviews of them talking about how they did it. You might even read up some other people talking about what they noticed in how they do it. You might watch a dozen different videos of them doing it.
But none of that means you, yourself, can actually perform that technique, even if you know exactly how they did it. Maybe you don't have the muscle development or whatever to successfully replicate it. But even on top of that: the way they did it might work for them and not you because they're twenty pounds heavier, or you have a bum ankle, or they have a skeletal structure that requires them to adjust to it.
There's a thousand reasons why knowing how someone else did something doesn't mean you can do it yourself. I's not that the analysis doesn't help. Maybe watching the videos means you realize you've been placing your feet wrong, or it makes you want to try moving your arms differently. It will give you ideas of what to experiment with and to practice to replicate it on your own.
But writing is a unique thing, and everyone writes differently for different reasons and has their own voice and style and idiosyncrasies. So you really have to try things out to see what works for you and what gives you success. You could do something exactly the same way someone else does, and it just doesn't work in your own writing.
Here's the next thing: writing is a form of communication, inherently. If you want to come up with stories, you can do that in your head and fantasize all day long and not write a thing down, and that's an amazing, wonderful thing...and it's also not writing.
Now, writing is not necessarily a form of communication with other people...private diaries and the like are really ways for someone to communicate with themselves. They might have feelings and thoughts about things and not be able to really understand them until they try to write them out. This is part of why I like writing meta and why I like getting questions: I might know all of those things, somewhere, but the act of having to put them into words somewhere and try to order them in a way that makes sense—even if only in a way that makes sense to me—helps me really understand them.
(And, okay, sometimes I have to research stuff for them and learn even newer things)
You know how people say things like "How did I not realize this sooner?" Sometimes, that's because they didn't have pieces of information they needed (like when I was acting extremely aro ace as a kid and had no idea those concepts existed), but often it's just that someone hasn't communicated something to themselves yet—they might know, they're acting in a way that speaks of trauma, they know they've been through something that might be traumatizing, but they never connected those two things together before. Happens all the time.
But, if you're writing to share with other people, to publish somewhere and hope someone reads it, that's an added layer of difficulty in having to communicate something to someone else. And that's really only something you can judge successful or not after someone else has read it and told you what they think. If they understood what you were trying to do.
There's a lot of new things I'm trying in my writing at the moment that I think is really going to help and really going to come out amazing—but I've never done some of it before, so it's probably not going to come out exactly how I wanted. And it might have just been a bad idea entirely and what I wanted didn't work at all. And so, soon (as soon as I'm done with this round of revision), I'm going to send it to my critique partners—other writers, whose ability to analyze fiction and what works and what doesn't and understand it I trust—and see what they have to say and what I can rework to make it work even better.
So, yeah. There's really no other way to do this than to try, fail, get feedback on your own personal attempts, and try again.
Maybe if you want a logical way to do it, you can come up with a list of things you want to try, and maybe make a checklist of if you've done them or not, maybe you can organize your attempts and write out what you tried differently—but it's really hard to do that with your own writing, and if you fail, you might not know exactly what went wrong—ever, honestly. But maybe having an organized progression of your own attempts at something can be something for you to analyze on your own.
I have no idea if this helped. But it certainly was fun to talk about!
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WHY ARE YOU HERE?:
To create
For as long as you can remember, it's never been enough to just experience this world as an observer. You aren't satisfied merely consuming the work of others. This world is rife with inspiration. You can't look at it without wanting to bring something of your own into it. It's not enough just to experience it, you have to depict those experiences, the ideas they inspire in you. Your feelings and thoughts churn inside you, begging to be given shape. You are full to the point of overflowing and you'll burst if you don't get it out somehow. You are a born artist, someone who can't live without creating something of their own along the way. Perhaps you wish there was some way you could pour this entire existence out into your work, engrave your entire being into something that will outlive you. There is a universe inside you and your greatest fear might just be dying before you can get it all out. So, don't let yourself be held back by fears of inadequacy. It's very vulnerable, to share yourself with the world as an artist does. Fear is only natural, but don't let it be what stops you. You're here to create what no one else can, to bring out into the world all the ideas you'd otherwise take to the grave. You are a person who will never exist twice, a human who will never walk this earth as you do now again. This life is an opportunity to do what no one else can do for you. So, don't waste it holding yourself back from creating the art that couldn't exist without you. Write, draw, sculpt, sing, do whatever it is you want to do! Even if it's clumsy, even if it doesn't turn out exactly like you wanted, you will have made something no one else can. No matter how many similar ideas others have, no one else will execute them exactly like you. The fruits of your hands can't be replicated. However subtle, they have a touch that no one else can imitate, your own unique fingerprint. What could be more worth devoting your life to, than bringing into this world that which couldn't exist without you?
Tagged By: Myself
Tagging: Anyone who wants to try!
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Interpreting Nature Through Art
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