#there’s several trucks outside in fact. and that’s not even counting Themisceryia and Star City

[bruciemilf]

Bruce’s kids detest Valentine’s day because no matter where they are he finds a way to get them their valentines gift (usually new weapons or a better suit because he’s emotionally constipated)

As for Bruce he’s too busy scheming to wonder why all his old flames, current flames, and best friends are fighting. (They want to be his Valentine)

WITH THIS OCCASION—

What Bruce gets for Valentine’s Day:

Dick: Promises not to prank him for a full week and/or reignes from the police force

Jason: A formal handshake followed by a moderate cuddling session, except it lasts way longer, because Jason falls asleep. Sleep has been damn near extinct without Bruce holding him, so, no one’s in any hurry to wake him.

Tim: Hacks LexCorp’s finance department. Surprise surprise, the owner of a mega conglomerate doesn’t pay his employees properly.

It’s just bad enough that Lex can be threatened. Bruce gets half of Lex’s workers livable wages and healthcare.

Stephawnie: A comically tiny collection of batarangs

Alfred: A week long supply of Sufganiyot; Martha’s recipe.

Damian: He and Talia handcraft Bruce a list of his enemies and tell him to take his pick! Bruce just nods and frames it somewhere. (He does pick Ra’s)

In addition to that, Talia buys his favorite perfume and hypothetically wears it over lingerie, but shhh—

Clark: Learns Bruce’s favorite planet/galaxial body and makes jewelry out of it. Law physics mean nothing to romance, and to a country boy in love.

Harvey: Very classic? Big ass bouquet of flowers. Like, Bruce disappears behind it, kind. More chocolate than he could eat. Also, lots of martial arts equipment.

Plus some nerdy Gray Ghost merchandise that, “I love you like a sin, but I will kill you if you wear this outside.”

#asks #bruce wayne #text #dc comics #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #batfamily #tim drake #damian wayne #clark kent #batfam #text post #I think jason demands Bruce spends Valentine’s Day w/him #his motive is ‘well ofc I’m gonna hang out with him. he’s a loser. I’m doing charity work.’ #meanwhile half of Gotham AND metropolis pack Bruce’s mailbox FULL of cards #there’s several trucks outside in fact. and that’s not even counting Themisceryia and Star City #dc #harvey dent