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Jamie Johnson BAFTA Q&A Full transcript

14:02:35 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Good evening, everyone and welcome to this special BAFTA event as part of Pride Month. I'm Alex Kay-Jelski. I'm the editor in chief of the athletic and I'm going to be moderating a discussion of Jamie Johnson, Tackling Issues Head On.

14:03:09 I'm sure you have seen the incredible episodes that have been airing recently and before we have a great discussion with your panelists. I have bits of housekeeping. Live captioning is available if needed on this, click the option at the bottom of your Zoom panel. Also, we will be taking questions later, because we want to answer your big queries, but to do that, use the Q&A button at the bottom. We will not see you on the chat function.

14:03:44 I will give you a five minute warning to get the questions in and we will get in as many as we can in the next hour. So here we are, Jamie Johnson, what an incredible, incredible few episodes as we saw Dillon comes to terms or start to terms with his sexuality and being gay and coming out in a time of him being a starring footballer and how difficult that was for hill.

14:04:17 I think in a world where a lot of people feel comfortable going to football grounds, not like anyone is allowed at football grounds right now, unfortunately. With people coming to terms with who they are, trying to speak to their family about it, trying to speak to their friends about it. Really moving, fantastic drama.

14:04:39 We're going to talk to the key people and try to explain why it is so important and what effect it had and will continue to have. So I will stop prattling on because you are probably bored of hearing from me because there are far more interesting people to hear from.

14:04:58 We have Shaun Duggan the lead writer on Jamie Johnson. He has been BAFTA nominated alongside of Jimmy from the accused and he is famous for righting the lesbian kiss in brook side. I'm old enough to remember that.

14:05:33 Next, we have actors Laquarn Lewis and Patrick Ward, so hello to you two. We have Cheryl Taylor. Cheryl is the head of content of BBC Children and she commissioned Jamie Johnson and all of the BBC content, that is hard to say when you say it quickly for television and online.

14:06:03 For now, we have Hugo Scheckter who is the head of Player Care of West Ham United. Later, we have an extra because we're going to be joined by the executive producer Anita Burgess who produces Jamie Johnson for BBC. Lots of people with lots of things to say. We should get started, shouldn't we?

14:06:32 I'm going to talk to Shaun first, because I think you're the best persons to answer this question. Jamie Johnson has always been a huge success, we're in series five now, great ratings, lots of interest, telling really, really important stories that reflect sort of the lives of children and teenagers. Why do you think the show has been so popular and why does it engage this audience so well?

14:07:07 >> Shaun Duggan: I think for what you have said and from the outset, we wanted to tell a show that felt very real and reflect the lives of our young audience and not patronize or condescend them. My background is working on soap operas and other stuff and this was rarely the first big show I worked on in children's drama.

14:07:40 I have to say, I didn't approach it any differently. I approached it in the same way as I would an adult drama. Obviously, there are things you have to be careful of in terms of language, but in terms of thinking of challenge in story, thinking about what reflects the young audience as lives, what is important to them and just in terms and I'm sure we'll talk more later about how the whole Dillon story came about.

14:08:08 If I could say from a personal experience, when I was younger, I could I've with the show because I'm football mad, working-class background, I remember my dad carrying me over the turnstiles and slipping the man some cash and all I wanted to do was play football in the street and that is why I was obsessed with going to every game I could.

14:08:39 Then I got to about 11 and things changed because suddenly all I play football with didn't want to be my friend anymore and people started saying I was gay, queer, in the 80'S, I did not know what these things were. It I just knew I was something bad and something to be ashamed of and things got worse where I was not welcome to play football anymore.

14:09:14 People turned their backs on me and all through senior school, for me personally, I had a hellish experience. I left school without any qualifications and not just talking verbal bullying, I'm talking getting beaten up most days, so school became about survival. I couldn't turn to the teachers. You were not allowed to talk about gay issue, I couldn't go home and tell my own family.

14:10:04 They were homophobic, not homophobic in a bad way, but we didn't know and I know firsthand how isolating and lonely, you know that is to be a young, gay person. I know things have changed to a degree, but in terms of education these things aren't talked enough within school, so to get this opportunity to tell a story like this in children's drama, I have to say a massive thank you to Cheryl and everyone at CBBC. If they don't support it and go along with it, then it wouldn't happen.

14:10:31 I have to say I found it very emotional seeing these stories going out on screen last week, not only that but everything around it, the support on news, the presenters after they talked to the audience and it is OK to be yourself and it made me proud to be a part of it and how far we have come.

14:10:46 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Do you think producing a show like this plays a role a little bit, a small role in helping the next generation of kids who are growing up, teenagers who are coming to terms with who they are, they don't have to go through what you have gone through.

14:11:24 >> Shaun Duggan: Absolutely, it is all cliche really, but if people say, if we telling this story, we can help one person not to feel -- let them know they are not on their own it is really worth doing. You mentioned at the intro, I did the lesbian kiss, which is almost 30 years ago now, but to this day, people who are in their 50s or whatever will approach me and when I meet them and you can tell people are in isolated communities with a traditional family.

14:11:34 The impact of seeing that story line on screen and making it feel less alone and that is so powerful.

14:11:54 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Cheryl, does the BBC have a role to play in that sense in trying to reassure people like this program does and let them know they are not alone? How important is it when you're choosing which programs to put on air does that come into play?

14:12:31 >> Cheryl Taylor: Thanks, Alex. It is really important to us. Obviously, as a public service board, we are there to inform and to entertain and I think we want the children who are watching our shows to feel good about themselves and feel informed. I think it is key. It sets us apart from other broadcasters and listening to Shaun there, such a powerful story that he has told, not just on Jamie Johnson, but to us here this evening.

14:13:02 I think, I don't know how old Shaun is, but he looks younger than someone who wrote brookside 30 years ago. When I was the age of Patrick and Laquarn, I would not have had any role models and it is fantastic that people are able to write these important stories and we very much want to reflect them.

14:13:31 I have to point out it takes a special kind of writer and special performer to achieve what Jamie Johnson has achieved and the whole production team as well. A lot of people have talked about authenticity at the moment and to hear Shaun talk about the story that has woven into a football series.

14:14:06 Jamie Johnson has been around for a long time and to artfully weave that story, in a sense, I don't think any of the fans or viewers would have felt in a sense they were being preached at or lectured, which I think is amazing. I think Patrick has taken us through Dillon's journey in a way that Shaun has given us the story, a coming of age story, someone finding his identity and that is something all kids will be going through. They will all be looking for signals and for help.

14:14:42 It is hard being a kid and hard growing up, so you know, absolutely, I think the BBC is the platform for this type of story, but fair play to these guys. They told it beautifully. I was seeing the comments on Patrick and Laquarn's Insta and there are people saying this is amazing and this is great to seeing this happen. People have written, what an amazing episode of Jamie Johnson. It is such a valuable series.

14:14:49 I'm grateful to Shaun and all of the team for telling the story so beautifully.

14:15:12 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Shaun, how do you write for a teenage and child audience? How do you get insides of the heads of teenagers and people of that age and make it relevant to them? As been mentioned in this call already, you are not a teenager anymore.

14:15:44 >> Shaun Duggan: No, but I thank Cheryl for the comments they am older than you might realize. I have lots of nieces, nephew, firstly, we have all been teenagers so I have been there. But I have nieces and nephews and so many of my friends' children love Jamie Johnson. In the past, for example, I tried to incorporate stories being relevant.

14:15:58 We had Dillon being diabetic in an earlier series because my friend's daughter was diagnosed with type I diabetes and that is where the idea came from, so you draw from all of those experiences.

14:16:10 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Patrick, do you remember the day they came to you with the idea of this story line and how did that feel? It is quite a responsibility, I guess.

14:16:41 >> Patrick Ward: Sure, I do remember the day, actually, before every series, I would meet with Shaun and Anita and talk about the next year and this idea was brought forward. To be honest, while a lot of people may see it as being a surprise, when you look back over Dillon's journey, it made a lot of sense and as playing Dillon, it felt organic and needed in society as well.

14:16:56 Yeah, definitely, I think that is really important as well, I have younger brothers and sisters who fancy the star and to see their response and other people, it has been brilliant.

14:17:20 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: How many barriers do you think there are to breakdown? For example, hopefully, this makes a lot of people feel more comfortable and better about themselves, but realistically, when you went and told your friends about this twist in Dillon's character, were you nervous about the response that you would get? Has that been positive?

14:17:42 >> Patrick Ward: I suppose you are nervous, for me especially with negative feedback, it is more kind of, like what Shaun was talk about earlier, it shows that it is perform that we're doing this story line. When you see negative feedback, which is not a lot of it to be fair, most of it is positive, but I think it is important.

14:18:03 People around me responded very well and my family was very supportive and is very forward thinking. I was proud to be doing it and I didn't care what other people had to say about it negative thinking, because I'm honored to be a part of it.

14:18:13 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Laquarn, how did you feel that? Do you think Jamie Johnson has a unique way of telling a story like this?

14:18:45 >> Laquarn Lewis: Yeah, I think it is unique in terms of the way he told the story, because any story can educate people on coming out and finding your own sexuality, but Jamie Johnson has done this through an industry which seems to be gay in football, especially and they tackled this on one of their main characters and followed the journey of his homophobic past with himself, his younger brother and dad.

14:19:16 He was only sharing the homophobic because that is what he was used to around his family and maybe his football team, you know, so the fact he had to hold it in for so long and hide who he is because of his passion for football. Jamie Johnson told an amazing story and did an amazing job of getting it across and you can be who you want to be no matter what your dreams are.

14:19:49 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: I think it is great that he was not playing into people's stereotypes as well. Some people like to think what they know what a gay person looks like, talks like, walks like, right, Dillon did not fit the stereotypes. Hugo, I don't know if you had the same thing, but when I came out, a lot of people were like, oh, we didn't see that coming necessarily, which is fine but you wish they had known it was coming because it was less of a surprise.

14:20:06 I think the fact that Dillon was not what some people would expect is a great thing for the audience because it makes them think about their own assumptions and prejudices, if you don't mind.

14:20:31 >> Shaun Duggan: I hope you don't mind me jumping, in but it made the story more interesting. The audience had these expectations of Dillon that someone like him wouldn't be gay, so therefore, that makes it more challenging.

14:20:48 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Yeah, absolutely. Did you, Patrick, Laquarn get involved in the story line or were you good boys and did what you were told?

14:21:07 >> Patrick Ward: Well, we rehearsed beforehand, actually in this house, in the next room. Laquarn came with someone we have known for a long time and rehearsed this kind of thing. I think it is very important as well.

14:21:42 >> Laquarn Lewis: He made us do games where we had to get to know each other really well before we shoot the scenes, so the story that we were telling was truthful. We had to do this one task and we had to look at each other and we couldn't smile and we had to keep pushing each other. He did so many games to get us on to a level where our relationship outside of acting could really like grow for our onset acting and I think that helped a lot.

14:22:10 >> Patrick Ward: I was going to say it is interesting because if you look at Dillon when he meets Elliot, it is like when he first sees him. It is like there is something that goes on insides of his brain. He doesn't understand what it is, but there is something and it is new and it happens very quickly, so I think it is important that me and Laquarn were able to understand each other as people and actors beforehand, definitely.

14:22:28 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Absolutely. We touched on this is a little, Cheryl, but outside of this show, generally, do you feel the BBC has a responsibility to put forward stories that represent underrepresented parts of audiences?

14:23:08 >> Cheryl Taylor: Yes, I was just thinking there when Shaun was talking about Patrick having diabetes just using Jamie Johnson as an example and this is one example of one of many, many dramas that we do. The different storylines that people judge as mainly football drama. We covered Jamie's family and kids looking after sick parents, so young carers, we had the homophobia, we had bullying. Just in that one series, you have a set of writers and producers and commissioners

14:23:50 Who intend to broaden the scope to be as inclusive and relevant as many kids as possible. Someone was talking about we know a lot of girls watch Jamie Johnson as well, so across the piece, it is important that all of our brands have a broad appeal. I think, I know I sound like I'm heaping praise on these wonderful creators but because I think they deserve it in this one drama. Secret life of boys, all of these shows on the surface, you can say this is a comedy, this is a drama.

14:24:19 Under beneath of that, every episode addresses these issues and reflects many of the audience's lives as many as possible and giving them tools and strategies to manage their own lives. I do think suggest a scale and a specialty skill and I don't think anyone watching the show would argue that they have done it incredibly well. It is very important.

14:24:44 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: That is it, isn't it? We can talk about sport and football and LBGTQ relationships in a minute, but Jamie Johnson, this story line is a show about football largely, but the story line is not about football. You can be any young more than or older person who doesn't have the courage to come out or the opportunity to come out and see that.

14:24:59 Hopefully, be confident and inspired by it. This is not about football, right, either of you, this is show to reach out to a much, much wider audience.

14:25:27 >> Cheryl Taylor: As I say it is about identities, rites of passage, coming of age and the journey that Dillon goes on, especially the extraordinary scene with his dad, for any kid, you know who is thinking about a difficult conversation that they might want to have, that would have been key. That would have been crucial and the fact that he goes to speak to Jamie. He reaches out to his friends and gets advice.

14:25:51 That is where the beauty of having Elliot there who has gone through this before, who has to some degree come to terms with his identity and that gives lots of information, lots of hope, useful take out for kids who are watching and feeling uncertainty about their own identity.

14:26:23 >> Shaun Duggan: I think that is, if you don't mind me jumping in again, really important because we established in the story that Dillon's family is homophobic. We ran a story where his little brother was kicked out of the club about making homophobic comments about Ruby's foster parents. We have time to establish that, but it felt important when we brought in Elliot's character that he was coming in from a different place.

14:26:37 He was comfortable in who he was. He says on screen that he had been brought up with gay people, so they had different experiences, but learned from each other's experiences.

14:27:03 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Also for parents, too, right? This is not an easy conversation and not always an expected conversation for parents as well. I think is very hard to know sometimes how to react and how not to react and everyone wants to say they want to be understanding with their children, but some parents may get shocked and surprised and don't react in the most helpful ways.

14:27:13 With that scene in particular with Dillon and his dad is a good thing to pin up on the wall, and go, whatever you do, don't do that.

14:27:39 >> Shaun Duggan: Again, in terms of that is such a powerful scene, very difficult to watch and all of the actors played it so brilliant, but there is quite a pit of the series to go, so although Dillon's dad reacted veried badly, he will have his own journey to go on through the rest of the series.

14:28:18 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Hugo, you sat there patiently and calmly and nodding in the right places, so now you get to talk. Hugo works in west ham. He is in the dressing room with players. He is helping them out. He used to work at Southampton, so he works at various football clubs. He understands football. He is a gay man in football. What did you think watching this and do you think football is a different place than other parts of society?

14:28:56 >> Hugo Scheckter: First of all, it struck me how powerful it was and it was jarring from a kids' TV show. I'm not someone who watched Jamie Johnson on a regular basis before, I don't know if I'm supposed to say that. This was my first expectation of the show, watching cartoons with my nephew. Did not know what to expect, but I thought, wow, this is hard hitting and I was jarred by the whole Dillon and his father's scene.

14:29:24 I think it was absolutely fantastic to highlight that. In terms of football, I think it's a different environment in a lot of ways, but negative and positive. I think a lot of people see football as this horrible, you know, macho, alpha-male environment. The changing room is one of the most diverse groups of people you can meet.

14:30:08 We've got on the team, for example, a guy from the republic of Congress go who is friends with a Scottish guy and a Hawaiian guy and you probably don't see that in society on a general basis. I think seeing the role molls come -- models coming out, but you're seeing it in the lockdown, but allies and I think people have spoken openly and eloquently about the importance of the rainbow campaign or openly gay players or role models.

14:30:42 For me, I was in the closet and I came out about two or three years into Southampton. My job is to look after players and the families and I was trying to get the players to trust me without sharing all of myself. Once I did, the relationship was so much closer and even today at lunch, I had a player ask me about my coming out and how I realized and he talked about how he would react if his kids came out.

14:31:14 That is a conversation that you would not expect to be in a changing room or a club and the amount of discussions we had about LBGTQ issues or trans issues, I'm not shaggymane expert, but I'm a resource and I think it is hugely encouraging and it means they are inquisitive people. I think they get a bad rap and I'm 100% sure who came out would be fully accepted in the change room.

14:31:44 Players want you to be a good person and a good player and if you can 10 us stay in the league or other teams' cases, higher up in the league, that is all that matters. It does not matter who you are or what you do in your free time, what religion you are or sexual orientation, it does not matter as long as you're a good person or a good player. I think football gets a worse rap than it deserves at times.

14:32:22 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: I would counter it to be the awkward person to say going to football is the only place I would not hold my husband's hand in public. It is one thing to know what it is like in the dressing room and that is fascinating, it is another thing to walk into a football stadium and the atmosphere and the words that you hear there, whether it is racist stuff, homophobic stuff, football as a sport has a long, long way to go percent. Sports has a long way to go. There are not out

14:32:59 Is not a great place. You say it was Dillon's line in the episode, there is no out -- no out footballer in this country, how can I sort of come out and be successful and that is the crux of that is a big part of the episode, isn't it? It is a really complex question because the worst thing that can happen people endlessly talking about it and the witchhunt of we need gay footballs. Who is the gay footballer?

14:33:14 I think the narrative needs to be a welcoming environment so people feel comfortable and that may take another generation's time.

14:33:53 >> Hugo Scheckter: There are gay women footballers in the west ham. You know what, yeah, I can talk to my experience in the changing room. To be honest, I go to every game we play and I don't hear the negativity. I think there is a lot of discussion in football about this banter and from an outsider's point of view, especially in the change room, it can be seen as negative. The way I felt was the players did not joke about anything, whether it was my sexuality or whatever else,

14:34:20 My hair, my weight, or whatever it is, that means they accept me. If it is like, don't talk about gay stuff that is like they don't accept me. I had players saying can I make a gay joke to you and I say as long as you make it to my face and prepare for me to come back at you and I think that is a little bit of a difference in football environment where other industries it would not be acceptable.

14:34:46 At the end of the day, we are focused of doing one thing, which is winning matches and we have a match tomorrow. We're all focused on that we're not worried about what everyone is doing around that. We're worried about everything is doing everything they can to beat Chelsea or get a point at this point, but it is important that we work together for that one goal.

14:35:06 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Just a quick, not warning as such, advisory, that we will probably start the questions in a few minutes. I can see there are few in there. If you want to ask these lovely, almost interesting people questions, make sure you get them so we can make you as happy as possible.

14:35:18 What is acting like in comparison, Laquarn, Patrick, do you feel that is a welcoming environment for people to be themselves?

14:35:54 >> Laquarn Lewis: Well, I feel like it. Yeah, there is, but there is a lot of discrimination in the acting industry, it is not just football. I feel like, especially with type casting that is very hard in the industry, because if you act or look a certain way then it is most likely you're going to get put for this same character over and over again. It is good to just play something different to yourself and get that opportunity.

14:36:07 It is getting better in the industry, but like I said, I'm happy to play whatever, especially this role right here, because I'm helping so many people, so I'm -- thank you, yeah.

14:36:13 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Have you had people get in touch with you to say it has helped?

14:36:17 >> Laquarn Lewis: You can do this one, Patrick.

14:36:49 >> Patrick Ward: Yeah, yeah, definitely, it has been mostly positive and that is the benefit thing for me is seeing people with a message saying this has helped me come to terms with this or this helped me speak about this and that is all we're trying to achieve and just I'm proud watching the episode because everyone did such a good job. It has been fantastic and see how people have responded in a good way.

14:36:57 There has been some negativity, but a lot of people have taken it positive.

14:37:18 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: One person who is in a great position to explain a little bit more about the reception that this story line has got is Anita. So Anita Burgess, for those who were not here at the beginning of the conversation, Anita. Hello, Anita. Good evening. Nice to see you.

14:37:21 >> Anita Burgess: Hello. Nice to see you, too.

14:37:35 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Anita is the executive producer of the show. You must be absolutely fantastic the repping you have had, I would love to hear from your perspective.

14:38:11 >> Anita Burgess: It has been amazing actually. I'm known as someone who cries a lot and the reception has made me cry a lot even for me. It has been overwhelming. I think as Patrick was saying largely positive. I mean almost entirely positive, the 1% have their other views and that is there and that has to be acknowledged, but I found, I think as what was said, the most moving ones are the positive ones.

14:38:39 People feel for the first time there is something on screen that they recognize themselves in and it helps them and the complements about how the story has been handled and us not talking down to people, that sense of what we're trying to do is empower and educate and get the word out there to help people who are already in this position.

14:38:53 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: How would you not talk down to people? What are things that you can do so it does not come across as patronizing? What are things in your head as a producer to say don't do this?

14:39:30 >> Anita Burgess: We are mindful of the audience and the age they are, so you explain things and make it clear to not -- what you're trying to do is use language that they would understand, but not treat them kind of too young. I think the simplicity of the story comes from truth. It comes from Shaun's experiences.

14:39:44 Making sure the research is as thorough as possible, so we are representing the truth as much as we can, I think it is about that, so don't talk down is just be honest and clear as best we can.

14:40:10 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: That is brilliant. I think it is time we put you to the sharks and answer some questions, really. There are quite a few of them. I'm going to try to do something if I press a button, they might come up on the screen. I'm going to apologize in advance if I get that wrong and someone will tell me if I'm doing this wrong.

14:40:42 So Dillon's storyline has been gripping, someone says. Beautifully written and amazingly active. Lots of compliments. This is best directed to you, Cheryl, of CBC producing a series with younger audiences where being LBGTQ plus being the center of the show? Can you, not target, but get this message to a younger audience?

14:41:13 >> Cheryl Taylor: Thank you for the question. As I was saying earlier, obviously CBC is the preschool channel and we have 6-12, to some degree we're limited to the type of lens we can put on sexuality, obviously, and as I mentioned earlier, a lot around your identity is something that we can explore. It has to be done in a certain way, because we have quite a wide age group.

14:41:47 I think the way this story is played out from 9-12 and above has been perfect, so depending on how someone wrote a story and type of character that they highlighted, I think anything is possible. Our central messages are about tolerance and inclusion and that people should feel OK about being themselves and I think you can get those messages across in many, many different ways, as to say for preschool age.

14:41:54 It would depend on the type of character and how they were portrayed, but essentially, yes, absolutely.

14:41:59 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Since you're talking, you can answer the next question.

14:42:00 >> Cheryl Taylor: Go.

14:42:22 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Shaun might have an opinion as well. How long did it take to develop the idea and were you nervous about it? The person here, he says he produced when Andrew Hayden Smith came out and people were nervous that people like parents would complain. Were you aware of that or, no, we're doing the right thing?

14:42:51 >> Cheryl Taylor: I wasn't nervous, actually, that is partly to do with the team. Again as I mentioned this there are a lot of tricky storylines in Jamie Johnson and our other dramas. Anita, Shaun, everyone is very, very experienced and I knew they would handle it really well and similarly, the commissioning editor, Amy and her team would have explained the storylines with Anita.

14:43:25 That is one part of it and going back to Patrick, Patrick is such a key, key character in Jamie Johnson and he has taken on so many different things, so right from the beginning. I remember Anita telling me Patrick embraced the idea because he felt it was so important. Genuinely, we knew the team, there might have been a few more question marks, but with this team we did not have any anxiety.

14:44:06 Anita and Amy in presentation and talked to the press and introducing it and Patrick introduced it and pushing to news rounds and also on social media kind of making sure there were links there to child life or the other kids that might be watching who were worried and going through new experiences. Across the piece, everyone was so empathetic that it might be a troublesome story line, and they did brilliant work to make sure it was embedded in the right way.

14:44:23 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Brilliant. Shaun, this one is for you. This person is called anonymous attendee, who I don't think is their real name, how important is it for LBGTQ stories to have a happy ending?

14:44:46 >> Shaun Duggan: Incredibly important, as far as I'm concerned. In the past, we have seen so many examples, you know, where there is a tragic ending and to be honest because that is reflected reality, because it has been in the past incredibly hard to be gay in this country. It was only in the 1960's, it was legal to be gay.

14:45:11 In the 80'S, we had the AIDS epidemic and you couldn't discuss being gay in school, so it is only in the past 20 or so years, we have been on this incredible journey and we are in a position now where we can tell these positive stories that reflect real people's lives.

14:45:31 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: I think when you grow up a gay teenager there is a lot of feeling that you won't have all of the things that people laid out for other people. I grew up thinking I'm not going to get married and not have kids and I'm going to be unhappy. Having hope.

14:46:11 >> Shaun Duggan: For me being able to tell it, I talked about being bullied at school. I was 21 before I came out. That ad less scents that most people have, I didn't have. It was stolen from me. It gives me so much hope that young people have the confidence to talk sexuality and build on those.

14:46:45 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: I'm being asked by Christopher, how have your peers responded to you playing this role? Obviously, Laquarn, you mentioned discrimination in industry. Have actors been supportive in what you have done? Lincoln people around me like my friends and family and people who watch have really supported me and and there is nothing far from like myself. Elliot is just like myself.

14:47:19 >> Laquarn Lewis: I -- so my friends have always been supportive, but I chose to wait until I left secondary school to tell them what my sexuality was, because I knew in secondary schools, if you are different in any way shape or form whether that is sexuality, disability, you will be brutalized and it is a horrible thing. I already knew I was going to wait until then. I was worried about my friends and what they would think as well.

14:47:46 When I told them, I have never seen such amazing support of people and doing this right now in the show, they have picked me up so much. They said the bravery it takes to be able to be open about your sexuality and then do this and silt just amazing and I thank everyone around me really.

14:47:51 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Patrick, anything to add or is that an impossible act to follow?

14:48:22 >> Patrick Ward: That is summed up perfectly. A different thing for me, this story line, but everybody around me has been very supportive. There are people I know, to be fair, from school or who you see out who haven't -- made comments, but as a reality, for me, you have conversations about this and able to express and I think it has been already.

14:48:43 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Someone sells asking, when you're doing a story line like this, are you given any help or claiming in terms or warnings about how to deal with the response afterwards on social media? It is hard to know what things are going to be like, right?

14:49:12 >> Laquarn Lewis: Yeah, we have had Zoom sessions with Anita and Shaun and BBC, everyone involved in making Jamie Johnson and particularly, this storyline, they have given us guidelines and a draft response to people who are giving us hate and BBC says we don't respond to this. We have been helped really well.

14:49:50 >> Patrick Ward: I think that is spot on that it has been interesting that I have been doing this for quite a while and I remember being 12 and in a room and talking about social media before I had ever been on TV and people saying, this is -- you're going to have this kind of response and this kind of thing and I remember being mind blown. It now a part of reality on how to respond with these things. I have a strict code of conduct with my social media and mostly what we have had ha fantast

14:50:26 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: There is one question that has been asked more than anything else, so we're going to save it to the end. We're going to go to a tough one and Shaun and Anita, you are probably best place to ask this. Someone said a line that jumped out to me, I think this is in the scene with Dillon and his dad, you are gay or you're not. Should we be telling people that identities aren't binary?

14:50:52 >> Shaun Duggan: I think with that line, you're writing truthfully from Dillon's dad's perspective. He hasn't got this great understand on of the subject and it is the kind of thing that he might say and not everyone is 100% gay. A lot of people are, a lot of people aren't, a lot of people in the middle.

14:51:32 Dillon is actually trying to tell his dad the truth and his dad is making it as difficult as possible for him, so I think I would rather focus on the positive message and the scenes that we have between Dillon and Elliot, where there was so much positive materials spoken about rather than focusing on Dillon's dad, who at this stage is homophobic and ignorant and a bigot, really.

14:52:05 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: This question is from a teacher and she says if she teaches things about homophobia or transgender issues, she gets parents saying she is trying to make them that way and we hear this quite a lot, right? If you tell people about transgender people, you're going to make them transgender. She is asking, have you had any of that or generally people been a lot lovier?

14:52:38 >> Shaun Duggan: If I could just say from my perspective on that, again, talking about what I was saying earlier, from being born to 12-13, I did not see any gay representation on TV I did not know what gay people were. I still became gay. If you go on that lodge you can, I should be an heterosexual, because I should have been inspired by boys and girls, but I wasn't. I still became gay.

14:52:54 You have to be careful when you have the debates, don't you of just having an open mind. At the end of the day, you know instinctively what you are from an a young age.

14:53:23 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Begs the question, if I watch enough "Game of Thrones" will by a weird person and run around with a spear in my hand? Not sure how that works. This question is for Cheryl from Miriam. She says in children's media, it can be hard to get certain things to air. With this story line, you had to tweak it or limit it in order for it to get to that stage or were you allowed to be fairly free with it?

14:53:57 >> Cheryl Taylor: Thanks for your question, Miriam. I think that goes back to the one we answered earlier, which was, I think the teams, s Anita and Amy and Shaun were looking at getting the story across in an age appropriate way. We is 6-12, so we need to make sure it is age appropriate.

14:54:38 Generally, there are some things I get exercised about, along with Katherine McAllister and I think pat and Laquarn was mentioning and we talked to her if we worried about a story line. Because this one, series five, coming from Shaun's personal experience and a specialty team, I didn't have any concerns about that.

14:55:12 >> Anita Burgess: Can I jump in as well, because I think it is important that people can understand how the producer coming to the BBC with this story, it wasn't something that we thought oh, we're not going to be able to do that. We knew the team would be very willing to talk to us and they did and we had a very in-depth discussion all the way along the line, they were incrediblably supportive of making sure this is age appropriate and the clarity was there, but the truth was there.

14:55:31 I think all credit it to the BBC if there is a perception that there is something you can't do there, that is not the case. There is always a conversation to be had there and they have been enormously supported right from the start.

14:55:50 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Hugo, young footballers coming through as teenagers, do they get a good education in being open minded? I can't remember how much they are in school and how much they are not at school. How do young sports people get taught how to be open minder?

14:56:17 >> Hugo Scheckter: I don't think we teach them to be open minded, I think we teach them a variety of life skills that leads them to being open minds, which was the idea. They are meeting people that they would not have met through their normal lives and I think that is a positive experience, but we also make sure everything we are doing that is appropriate and talk about the social media guidelines that the actors go through.

14:56:43 We go through the same thing, not only in the things they put out, but what they receive and we have had a number of issues with various comments getting to our players and having to deal with that. I think you can't maybe teach -- you can teach open mindness, but that is not our goal. Our goal is to make well-rounded people who are also excellent footballers.

14:57:06 We haven't seen issues in the any of the clubs I worked with where players are not accepting each other or having problems with each other it. Tends to be they competed on a position, where two goalkeepers competing for one position, but not the personality of the major clashes that happens at younger ages.

14:57:25 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: I reckon apart from the one person who is asking if they can play football with Patrick, we have time for two more questions. Laquarn, Patrick, what have you learned from filming these scenes?

14:57:49 >> Patrick Ward: I think a lot. These are the scenes I was looking forward to the most. When you get the scripts, especially the ones, obviously we rehearsed a lot, but I learned a lot as an actor and I am not able to prescription it very well because it is an organic process and try to embed yourself into it.

14:58:01 I like to think of it being modern and I think you learn a lot from this kind of thing, especially as a new actor.

14:58:04 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Laquarn, over to you.

14:58:40 >> Laquarn Lewis: I think it is -- it shows a way of how somebody can cope with coming out and how they deal with telling people and stuff and what I have learned from filming this and getting out there to people is, it doesn't have to be someone on the screen. You can be the person in real life to support your friend. All it takes you to ask them if they are OK and they might all of a sudden tell you that or anything.

14:58:55 If you just support people around you then you know it is something to help them that little bit more to be themselves.

14:59:11 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: So the last question of the night, the question that everyone is asking in this Q&A and we have to ask wow getting in trouble, is Elliot coming back? Who is answering that question?

14:59:28 >> Anita Burgess: I guess that is me, isn't it? We're hopeful. Things are in the process at the moment. Things aren't completely finished yet, but we're hopeful to find a way of continuing it somehow.

14:59:33 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: Laquarn, you're in luck. It is a night to celebrate.

14:59:35 >> Anita Burgess: He might not want to.

14:59:37 >> Laquarn Lewis: I would. I would.

15:00:14 >> Alex Kay-Jelski: There you go. It is a job acceptance live on air. Thank you so much all of you for your time, your questions, your excellent answers. I have enjoyed it and I hope you have as well. There are a lot of people struggling out there, as well, if you know them, I recommend the charities, it takes so much work to help people in relation to storylines like this, absolutely massive.

#Jamie Johnson #Patrick Ward #Laquarn Lewis #Dillon Simmonds #Elliot #Anita Burgess #Shaun Duggan #BAFTA #transcript #they'll probably upload the whole thing but just in case #this is the official transcript and it has some mistakes #I fixed some I caught but...

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moviediary · 4 years

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Grease 2

So, this movie kind of slaps in the worst way ever. You have to watch it with the knowledge that it’s terrible, it makes it a lot better. The songs are pretty underrated, a lot of them are low key bops and I would probably listen to them without watching the movie. It’s a product of its time so of course it’s aggressively heteronormative even though the main guys are very queer coded just like most 80s movies. The main girl is a fine singer, but her character is kind of boring and really just an ass most of the time. She also has no business being in a movie about the 50s (or maybe the 60s it’s not very clear) she is so obviously a quintessential 80s chick from her hair to her leather pants, she’s basically Sandy’s makeover as a person. In my opinion the main love interest could have done a lot better. He spends the whole movie doing the reverse of the first movie, going from geek to biker??? Yeah, they all ride motorcycles now, but they’re still called T-Birds which really doesn’t make sense but nothing in this movie really does. Oh! And Frenchy is in it, she came back to high school to complete her chemistry credits?? The whole movie is a mess but honestly, I enjoy watching it. I’ll watch it again, I already have.

Basically it’s the first movie but gender swapped and with a talent show and biker gangs.

The T-Birds really make this movie, they’re the most interesting characters in it. Their leader Johnny is funny and likeable despite being a dick, he has very obvious vulnerability and growth during the film which makes the audience not hate him. His goons are hilarious, they have some of the best lines in the movie and I actually laughed out loud at some of the shit they said. I could do without the gratuitous sexualization of high schoolers but what can you do. I don’t really understand why they have beef with this 20-person biker gang of full-grown adults that apparently have nothing better to do than antagonize 4 teenagers but hey I get it they need a common enemy. I also get that they were going for anger and jealousy when Johnny looked at Michael every time he was being his sexy mysterious biker persona but maybe they should have told him that because that definitely isn’t what’s coming across in his face. He has the biggest man crush I have ever seen I swear.

Michael, who is apparently Sandy’s cousin even though he’s British and she was Australian, really drives the story; everything happens because he wants to date Stephanie even though the only real conversations, they’ve had are just him being nice and her being a dick the whole time but I guess she’s pretty? So he becomes a biker to be what she wants because she wouldn’t date a hot smart guy with a British accent, no way he’s a loser. I guess. So instead he spends the whole movie trying to live up to her standards which is more than a little infuriating but lets be honest the plot isn’t really why you watch this movie. It really only starts happening in the 3rd act anyway, most of it is taken up by talent show hijinks and motorcycle themed music numbers. And a surprising amount of bowling. I wasn’t expecting the coolest kids in school to have their own bowling league but that bold choice did lead to a very confusing but fun musical number in which we see that Johnny sings high sometimes because he’s basically Danny in even tighter pants (somehow) and Paulette (a pink lady played by Judy Garland’s daughter) has an amazing voice that doesn’t get used enough in the songs.

There’s a lot of odd running gags in the movie that really don’t need to be there. Rhonda’s obsession with her “huge nose” even though it’s really not that big. The random teacher that had a nervous breakdown and keeps almost dying. The teacher whose whole gimmick is that she’s hot and maybe sleeping with her students? But definitely sleeping with the substitute teacher. The fact that Johnny’s right-hand man’s name is Goose? A reference to a movie that hadn’t even come out when this movie take place? I think anyway, like I said it’s really hard to pinpoint when this movie is supposed to take place. Also the T-Birds are on the football team I think? Or they’re running drills during PE which also doesn’t make sense with their characters. I don’t know man the whole movie is so strange they say stuff and then never bring it up again.

The ending is where I think the movie really lets you down. After a very weird talent show scene Where Steph has a very boring song and is all sad because she thinks Michael is dead, they have a party. And the party is a Luau and it’s quite possible one of the whitest things I’ve ever seen its so embarrassing. They have a long song about how they’re having a Luau and then they have a bunch of shirtless guys carry Steph and Johnny into a pool on a big throne/raft thing? And then the biker gang bursts in because they have nothing better to do and everyone’s screaming and throwing things it’s very chaotic. The continuity errors in this scene are absolutely outrageous. Then Michael shows up out of nowhere and Johnny literally quivers when he sees him (yeah he’s straight) and he singlehandedly kicks out all those hardened criminals. Then there’s a very long and awkward moment where they initiate Michael into the T-Birds even though school is basically over at this point and then Steph and Michael make out. One of my most hated scene tropes in movies, the very intimate confession and make out in the middle of a crowd. And then finally we have the last song of the movie in which Steph and Michael start off with a duet and their voices sound terrible together (it’s a sign and I refuse to believe otherwise) and then everyone else joins in and they try way too hard to tie up all the character’s storylines even though as the audience you weren’t really all that invested in greaser number three and pink lady number three’s sex life and most of these things didn’t really need to be sung out loud they were pretty minor parts of the movie. And oh, okay, everyone now ends up in a relationship even Paulette’s younger sister who I thought was in like, middle school but now I guess she’s dating the dumb guy from the T-Birds but they’re all seniors?? Okay…yeah, the ending fucking sucks it’s the worst part. The song is long and boring, and the choreography is bad but then they recap a bunch of the better songs during the credits and it’s all fine again!

Overall, the movie isn’t nearly as bad as I’ve heard other people say, I’ve seen much worse. And the thing is, the bad parts are kinda what makes it great in the first place. It’s kind of like when they made mean girls 2. It’s not really a sequel because non of the actually important characters are in it (except for Frenchy but she’s only there for like 10 minutes tops). It’s a cash grab but not the worst one. The songs are fun, and the characters are pretty fucking funny if you ignore how weird it is that they’re all like 30. I’d say watch it if it’s free to stream, don’t rent it. I probably get more out of it than a normal sane person because I read into character’s and their emotional connections way too much I basically am rewriting it in my head. I doubt anyone would be interested but I definitely broke down all the characters and their motivations and tried to figure out their actions, also known as me trying to create queer characters off of very unstable reasoning. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Anyway, the people in this movie are pretty hot and most of the songs kinda slap so even if the plot is questionable other things make up for it.

As of now this movie is available for streaming on Amazon prime.

Final Verdict:

On my scale 7/10

Actual good movie scale 4/10

#grease #grease 2 #movie review

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luckyjak · 5 years

Text

fic: like 80/20 on the kinsey scale

Summary: Modern/College AU. Caleb sleeps with Essek and panics about his sexuality. Is he gay? Bi? Straight with exceptions? Beau gets to be his Obi-Gay Kenobi. Jester is there to look hot and paint Caleb’s nails. A story about friendship and identity, mostly.

Ships: Shadowgast, hints of Widomauk, past Caleb/Astrid, hints of Beau/Jester, one line of Jester/Cali, one line of Jester/the Bright Queen

There was a knock on her door. “Beauregard.” Another knock. “Beauregard.” Another knock. “Beaur--”

She slammed the door open. “What, Caleb? It’s--” she beadily looked over at the alarm clock before groaning, her face in her hands. “9:30 in the morning, fuck.”

“Ja, I know. I’ve already gone to my 8 am class. I need your help.”

“Can it wait an hour?” Despite her words, she opened the door wider to let him in, knowing he’d follow her. She made a beeline to the tiny keurig on top of her dorm minifridge and set about making a cup of coffee. “Maybe two?”

“I was nice and let you sleep this long, all things considered. As my closest queer friend who isn’t currently in Japan, you are obligated to help me. Please help me.” He flopped down onto her bed, face down into her pillow, curling around it needfully. “I’m having a full-blown gay panic attack, Beau.”

She rolled her eyes and dug around her and Jester’s things, looking for a coffee cup. She finally pulled one out that wasn’t clean, but wasn’t as disgusting as some of the others. “For the last time, finding Molly hot doesn’t make you gay, it makes you human. His gender is a question mark and shouldn’t be counted. I find Molly hot and I’m a capital L lesbian, so--”

“I slept with Essek last night.” Caleb mumbled into the pillow, his face bright red from what little of it Beau could see.

Essek? Essek Essek Essek--who the fuck was Essek? She’d heard the name before, but she couldn’t place who it was. It did sound masculine, though. Maybe there was a point to Caleb’s panic after all.

It was only as she went to open the mini-fridge to grab cream for her coffee that she glanced at Jester’s schedule (9 am MWF, Intro to Physics, Kryn/Thelyss, Roshana hall 311) that her eyes widened with realization.

“Hot boy? Hot boy from the group chat?” She screeched, turning to Caleb, her coffee abandoned. “Essek Thelyss, the hot TA you and Jester have been obsessed with all semester? The one in the wheelchair? The one even fucking Reani is talking about now? That Essek Thelyss? You fucked him?”

Caleb nodded, his head still buried in the pillow.

“Oh my god,” Beau jumped in bed with Caleb, tackling him briefly. She then sat up straight, leaning with her back against the wall. “Tell me everything. Wait. Not everything. I don’t want to hear about dicks touching. But everything else is fair game.”

Slowly Caleb grinned at her, coming out from behind the pillow. He checked his phone quickly before he scooched up so Beau wasn’t sitting on his legs anymore, leaning against the wall as well. “I’m glad you are taking this seriously, Beauregard.”

“Cut me some slack, dude, I just woke up,” she yawned to prove her point. “Start at the beginning.”

“I took him up on the tutoring session that he offers--”

“The ones you don’t need?”

“I need them, just--not as much as I pretend to,” Caleb checked his phone again before he rubbed the back of his head. “You are distracting me.”

“Sorry dude.”

“Anyway, I went to tutoring, and then we started talking, about life and not just about physics, and he asked if I wanted to go get a drink, and I thought, you know, Astrid dumped me a year ago, I haven’t dated anyone else ever in my life, I don’t even know if I’m gay, or bi, or straight but appreciative--”

They had spent a long time talking about that, actually--when Molly had been around, he had dragged whoever was nearby and willing to the university’s Gay-Straight Alliance meetings, which usually consisted of the Mighty Nein and one or two other friends, like Cali and Shakaste. Molly was real good at making them talk about gay stuff, like identity and labels and experimenting, stuff like that. It helped that most of them were queer in some way: Fjord and Nott were mostly straight but good allies, Caduecus was asexual, Yasha, Jester, and Molly were all bi, Beau was a big ol’ lesbian, and Caleb?

Caleb was a question mark. He had, in his own words, only ever dated Astrid in his small podunk town in Zemni Fields, and so didn’t really know what label, if any, applied to him. He had admitted to the group that he found some men attractive, and Molly had argued that that was enough to be bi, but Caleb had hesitated.

...Man, she missed Molly. Stupid fucker had to go and move to fucking Japan in an area with shitty internet service, and thus, sometimes felt like he might as well be dead to them.

“--But I thought, one drink wouldn’t hurt, right?” He sat up on the bed, looking at Beau with a mischievous look on his face. “I must confess, we did not end up getting drinks, Beauregard.”

“Oh?” Beau grinned at him. “What did you end up doing instead, Caleb?” she teased.

“We made out in his car for an hour,” Caleb’s face was as red as his hair, but he didn’t seem embarrassed or ashamed. In fact, there was a sort of confident smugness to Caleb as he told his story, like he was proud of his little tryst. “Then he invited me to his apartment, where I had a panic attack in his bathroom. After he managed to get me to calm down, we proceeded to have the best sex of my entire life--”

She held her fist out, which he bumped gingerly.

“And when I woke up in his bed this morning, I had another panic attack, left him a note with my phone number, and snuck out before he got up. Went to my 8 am class, didn’t hear a single word Professor Wacco said all hour, and then I came here,” he pulled his phone out, checking it anxiously. “And he still hasn’t texted me, and I want him to text me, and I don’t know what any of this means, and I need your help.”

“Help me Obi-Gay Kenobi, I’m your only help?”

“I still haven’t seen Star Wars, but I know enough to know that was a reference.”

“We’re gonna have to fix that one day. Alright,” she refocused her legs in the crisscross, reaching over and snatching Caleb’s phone out of his hands. “First things first, you gotta stop checking this. Dude is teaching Jester’s class right now, so he’s probably not on his phone. Hell, he may not have even seen your note yet, depending on how rushed he felt he was in the morning. I know I don’t always notice booty notes until way later, and he might be the same way.”

She put Caleb’s phone in her pocket, which he immediately protested. “Beau--”

“As soon as it vibrates I’ll hand it over dude, but you’ve got to calm down. Let’s figure you out first and then we can figure out Pretty Boy later.”

“Hot boy,” Caleb mumbled, but didn’t argue.

“Whatever. Second, and I hate asking this because I really want to know nothing about how dudes have sex with each other, but was it like, hand jobs or blow jobs or--”

“His cock was in my ass, Beau,” Ah, the red on his face was from embarrassment, okay. “And it was amazing, and I’ve never come that hard before ever, and I’m re-evaluating my entire life because of it.”

“First off, props to you for bottoming for your first ever gay experience,” she held her fist out again for him to bump, which he did. “As a fellow bottom I’d like to welcome you to our ranks, we are a proud and noble people, etcetera etcetera.”

He put his head in a pillow. “Beauregard.”

“Second, you never do anything half-way, do you? Couldn’t you have, like, I don’t know, watched gay porn for a bit before you decided to try anal with your TA?”

Caleb shook his head. “I don’t like porn. It’s--I find it vulgar. And demeaning towards women. And I’m afraid I’m going to get a computer virus. I’d rather read.” His face was still red, but at least he’d lowered the pillow.

“Your smut club with Jester.”

“It’s not a smut clu--well, I guess it sort of is because Jester picks out all the books, but it was always meant to be more than smut books!” He held the pillow close to his chest like he might his cat.

Beau ignored him, holding three fingers out in front of his face. “Third, remember what Molly said about how labels are meaningless unless you want them to mean something? That’s still true. You don’t have to be gay or straight or bi unless you want to.”

He turned his head, looking away from Beau and instead at the messy desk/kitchen area of her joint dorm room with Jester.

“I think I am gay, though,” he said quietly, still not looking at her. “I--I really enjoyed myself last night. If that’s how sex with men usually is then that’s what I want. I don’t want to have sex with women, I don’t think. Not unless it’s the right woman.” He groaned into her pillow, pulling his brown hoodie over his head so that it covered his eyes. “Which makes me bi.”

“It’s the Kinsey scale,” Beau leaned back and grinned. “100 is attracted to men, 0 is attracted to women. Where do you fall?”

“Like, 80/20?” He pulled his hoodie back again. “I loved Astrid, but I feel if what happened with Essek is what sex with men feels like, then my attraction to her was the exception, not the rule.” He groaned and lowered his head again. “But what if Essek is the exception instead? What if I don’t actually like men but I like this man. Sheisse, this is so hard. I never worried about this back in Zemni Fields. Don’t--don’t most people figure this out earlier?”

She squeezed his shoulder in what she hoped was a reassuring manner. “Look, dude, it’s fine. You can be an 80/20 bi. Or you can be a 50/50 bi. Or you can call yourself gay, or queer, or any other label you’d like. And if you end up dating a woman, the gay police aren’t going to show up and take away your licence or anything. That’s not how it works.”

“It’s just confusing, I guess,” he flopped his head back, banging it against the wall slightly. “I always thought I had it figured out, and then it turns out I didn’t. I’m twenty four years old and I’m in graduate school, I should know what I am and what I want already. Most people figure this out when they are teenagers,” he bit his lip hesitantly, as Caleb often did when anxious. “When--when did you realize you liked women, Beau?”

“When I was like, 11. But it doesn’t even matter. So you are a late bloomer? Who gives a shit. This stuff is hard and complicated, and nobody has all the answers. So you just do you, man.”

He smiled at her, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. “Thanks, Beaur--”

There was a clicking noise at the door, and then Jester was home, swinging the door wide open and letting the sunshine in. “Good morning beautiful! It’s a beautiful morning outside and--oh! You are already awake!” She gasped, throwing her backpack at her desk with little care. “And Caleb’s here too!” She jumped on Beau’s bed, squeezing herself between Beau and Caleb. She wrapped her arms around Caleb with a tight squeeze. “Good morning Caleb!”

“...Good morning, Jester.”

“What are you doing here so early? Is everything okay?”

Before he could answer, Beau jumped in ahead. “Caleb slept with your TA last night and is experiencing his gay awakening.”

Caleb rolled his eyes as Jester gasped. “Thanks for outing me, Beau.”

“Oh shit, I didn’t even think about it, dude, I’m sorry--”

“It’s fine,” he reached over and hugged Jester again. “I did sleep with Essek though.”

“Essek’s gay?” Jester flopped out of Caleb’s embrace into Beau’s lap. Beau started running her fingers through Jester’s hair out of habit. “Of course he is. He has well-manicured nails and a skincare routine. I should have known. Beau, why is my type apparently hot gay men?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you need to date more women, then.”

From where Jester couldn’t see, Caleb wiggled his eyebrows towards Jester and made a scissoring motion with his fingers; Beau threw a pillow at him.

“Maybe you’re right. Last girl I dated was Cali before she transferred. Still, congrats on being gay, Caleb. I always knew you were one of us.” Jester yawned and stretched, curling up like a cat in Beau’s lap. “I need to redo my nails.”

“I need Essek to text me,” Caleb groaned, tossing the pillow back at Beau. “He hasn’t texted, right?”

Beau pulled out the phone to double check, but there were no new messages. “Sorry, bud.”

“If it makes you feel better, he was like, super distracted during class. We ended up getting out early because Professor Kryn needed to talk to him, and you know she only gets involved when things are super bad. Apparently they caught some Dwendlian kids on campus? Whatever,” she leaned back and yawned against Beau. “Professor Kryn is so beautiful, you guys. I don’t know where she gets all of her clothes but they are all so gorgeous and she is so hot. I know she’s like a thousand or whatever but that woman can still hit it, like, any time she wants to--”

“Dwendlian kids?” Caleb asked, his brow wrinkled in confusion. “Like Beau and I?”

“Some other group, I think. Essek called them Scouragers or something? I wasn’t really listening; I was daydreaming that I was a moth and I got to eat some like, delicious curtains. Hey, do you think that’s a metaphor for anything? Anyway--”

Beau wasn’t listening: instead, she was watching Caleb. A lifetime ago, Caleb had been a Scourager, and it hadn’t ended well for him. It was part of why he was at Xhoraus now. Beau expected to see a bit of panic on Caleb’s part, but he mostly just looked relieved.

“Good,” he said, interrupting Jester’s train of thought. “They followed up on the lead we brought them.”

Oh, right. The text message Jester found from the phone that had gotten left behind in the basement they cleaned out for Zorth. It had been written in Zemnian, so none of them could read it but Caleb, and he had insisted that they turn the phone in to Professor Kryn herself.

“We good, Caleb?”

“Better than before,” he breathed in deeply, then placed a hand on Jester’s knee. “Jester, would you like to paint my nails for me?”

“Sure! What color? I’ve got pink, and blue, oh, and Molly let me have this really cool purple color before he left, and red--”

“How about a rainbow?” He offered, studying his nails with quiet contemplation. “Like the flag.”

Jester gasped. “Caleb I love it,” she squealed, jumping off the bed to run to her dresser. “Oh my gosh, we have got to bring you to Pride this year, you will love it! Well, actually you might hate it because you hate crowds and stuff, but it’s super fun. Oh my gosh, I get to use this yellow nail polish! I never use yellow because Beau hates yellow but I gotta use it if I want to give accurate Pride nails. Which shade of red do you think?”

Beau wasn’t listening, because at that moment Caleb’s phone had vibrated. It was Essek. Sorry I didn’t text sooner or see you off this morning--it’s been a hell of an eventful morning so far. I’d love to tell you more over coffee if you are free later? ;)

Caleb hadn’t noticed she pulled his phone out; instead, his attention and his arm were being held captive by Jester, who had started painting his thumb a glittery red.

“Hey loverboy,” she teased, causing Caleb’s head to whip around towards her. “You better let Jester do well on your nails, because you’ve got a date later.” She waved his terrible old phone around the air.

The fact that Jester and Caleb let out an identical high pitched noise at the exact same time was going to be the highlight of her day. She could already tell.

#critical role #fanfiction #cr fanfiction #shadowgast #mostly friendship though #empire kids

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ptolemyofchaos · 4 years

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@progmetallesbian

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? I subconsciously go for blue always

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? The city Ideally in a large house with a backyard/garden/greenhouse in it.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? HMMM... initially i would say a language, but if its I have instant knowledge of this skill id say coding or something because boy would it make life easier getting decent paying jobs

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Tea and as it has been described to me by my English friend I drink sugar flavored with tea. But I also make my own sweet tea so. Accurate.

5. What was your favorite book as a child? The Olympians/the Dresden Files series.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? Baths with bath bombs candles lit whole nine, I do shower before it though

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? Dragon because I am a creature of Fire and air.

8. Paper or electronic books? Paper Aesthetically all the way, but Audio books are how I read now

9. What is your favorite item of clothing? My vintage black biker jacket

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I love my name, Its just unique enough without being Eye rolling

11. Who is a mentor to you? My Older sister and my mom to an extent.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? Yes and no, the yes is because I would love to be an actor or performer, the no Is because I do indeed enjoy being left alone and just sorta existing. Basically I think Id do well as a voice actor haha

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Ha no I have a sleep deficiency so I enter rem 1 and four and that is mostly it

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? Yes. I go back on forth on how I feel regarding that I am that way

15. Which element best represents you? Air fire given any day its one more than they other.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? My sister, she recently moved to Colorado and its hard for her to be far away

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? Sister

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I remember saying nonsense words as a kid in car rides on cloudy days trying to make it rain. I think I from really little was trying to do magic stuff which is interesting to reflect on.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? Bear or Rattlesnake? I come from a hunting family

20. What are you most thankful for? Dungeons and Dragons

21. Do you like spicy food? Yes! specifically I like spicy flavor food not just spicy for the sake of it

22. Have you ever met someone famous? YES!! I once met Courtney Act randomly at The Abbey, I also got to meet Kameron Michaels at a gay club in Vegas. These are Drag Queens for the un aware

23. Do you keep a diary or a journal? On and off.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or pencil? Pen generally it feels better. But drawing pencil

25. What is your star sign? Leo Sun Aquarias Moon

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Cronch fading into soggy

27. What would you want your legacy to be? He was Loud joyful and quite Queer

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? Yes, the Lord of Chaos from the wheel of time series.

29. How do you show someone you love them? Touch mostly if it is an intimate partner, but generally doing things.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Depends. Overall I can take or leave ice

31. What are you afraid of? Disappointing someone

32. What is your favourite scent? Lavender Leather Bergamot

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? If they ask I suppose?

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? HA Id have a good sized victorian Home in La, Id cook and bake a lot more, Id throw myself into making art, acting, writing etc and play dnd all the time. OH and travel quite a lot

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? Pools, though I know I have never been able to experience ocean water that is perfectly clear If I did i am sure I would prefer that

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? Look around if I see no one frantic claim it.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? yep

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? To be kind to themselves and to others. And to know that it is not a weakness.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? Currently working out the logistics of my second tattoo. It will be a lion that much I know but i need to work out the details

40. What can you hear now? Fan and my computers soft humming

41. Where do you feel the safest? My room

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? My lack of knowing how to balance myself and my emotional responses.

43. If you could time travel to another era, which one would you choose? Woof. Ugh depends on a lot of things for safety sake id say the 70s or the 80s

44. What is your most used emoji? :D

45. Describe yourself using one word. Conflicted

46. What do you regret the most? I try to live earnestly without regrets

47. Last movie you saw? Ugh... possibly a re-watch of the birdcage? I don’t really remember haha.

48. Last tv show you watched? Drag race

49. Invent a word and its meaning. Kerfuful- kr-FUF-l - a total degradation of an event, culminating in a frustratingly humerus scenario that was not desired

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geekygirlexperience · 5 years

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221B Con Panels are up! There’s more to 221B Con than just Sherlock Holmes!

If you want a convention that’s like 80% women, LGBTQA+ people, and just awesome, PLEASE CHECK OUT 221B CON! They just announced this year’s panels!

221B Con isn’t JUST an everything Sherlock Holmes convention. It also features other fandoms, LGBTQA+ panels, and writing workshops. Here’s some of the non-Sherlock panels they announced this year.

I’m applying for the Thrawn panel this year!!!

Thrawn - The Sherlock Holmes of Star Wars (And His Watson’s) - A look at the parallels between Grand Admiral Thrawn and Sherlock Holmes (and his various Watsons like Eli Vanto, Gilad Pellaeon, and Karyn Faro)

Fandom Panels:

-After Canon Ends - What happens to a fandom when there is no new canon? Why do some fandoms survive or even get stronger while others die? Is it the fabric of the original work or the fervor of the fandom that sustains it? Why does Sherlock Holmes and Harry Potter fandom thrive when Battlestar Galactica and Babylon dwindle?

-Captain Marvel - Finally a Marvel movie headlined by a woman! Sorry Black Widow. We were rooting for you first.

-D&D Level 0 - A beginner’s guide to Dungeons and Dragons.

-Discrimination Within the Canon - From the KKK in the Five Orange Pips and the little girl in the Yellow Face to Holmes’s own dismissal of women, how do we square our love for Canon with the problematic nature of Victorian ideals? (While this s Sherlock Holmes centric, I’m sure other fandoms will be discussed)

-Doctor Who: A New Chapter - Moffatt is gone and we have a female doctor for the first time ever. How is the show holding up?

-The Good Place - I Kant Stop Watching!: Motherforking shirtballs! We’re renewed for a fourth season! Someone tell Janet to bring me a frozen yoghurt to celebrate!

-Kingdom Hearts - A discussion of Disney’s hit game.

-Legalities and Ethics of Fan Works - As creators become more aware of fan made content, what are the legal rights of the fan?

-The Magicians - A fan discussion of the hit Syfy show.

-McElroy Panel - A panel for all things McElroy-related. My Brother, My Brother and Me, The Adventure Zone, etc. Come in your favourite Taako cosplay, that’s what we really want to see right?

-MCU - A closer look at the Marvel Universe. Is Tony back from space? Is Peter okay?

-Representations of Women in Modern Science Fiction - From Ripley to Okoye, an in depth discussion of how women are viewed differently in science fiction and fantasy.

-Tabletop Gaming and Fandoms - Tabletop games like Dungeons & Dragons, Vampire, and Starfinder, have been around for decades. And the number of people that play have grown from a few people in a room to full conventions across the globe. Come join us as we discuss our favorite or even some lesser known tabletop games, what we love about them, and the fandoms born from them.

Tarzan in Cinema - Along with Sherlock Holmes and Dracula, Tarzan is one of the most adapted characters in movie history. Let’s discuss the good and the bad that came from these films.

-Yuri!!! On Ice in 2019 - What Will it Mean for the Fandom: With the anticipated new canon for Yuri!!! On Ice what will it mean for the fandom going forward?

LGBTQA+ Panels:

-50 Shades of A - Asexuality in Fandom and Canon: This panel will discuss representations of asexuality in fandom and canon.

-Bitextuality in Sherlock Holmes - exploring the canon through the images that accompanied them.

-Polyshipping Time - More More More: Is more always better? It is in a polyfic! Come discuss the proliferation of plurality and passion.

-Queer Interpretations of Holmes and Watson - The beauty of Sherlock Holmes is the ability to adapt it to other times and places. The Canon is open to interpretation of many kinds. Come discuss the queering of Holmes and Watson in Canon and beyond.

Fanfiction and Writing Panels:

-ABO (18+) - ABO is one of the most discussed and misunderstood tropes in fan fiction today. Our panelists will discuss the where ABO began, where it is, and where it is going.

-Beyond Wikipedia - A crash course in research methods for the discerning writer.

-Co-Writing - The Ups and the Downs: Join our panelists as they discuss their experiences with co-writing, both positive and negative, and offer tips for making co-writing work.

-Cuddle Fic and Fluff - A look at the softer side of fanfiction.

-Every Disguise Is A Self Portrait: Healing Through Fic - A discussion of reading and writing fic as a method of obtaining support for self-discovery, personal growth and recovery. Helpful tips for writers having difficulty addressing important, yet uncomfortable, issues in their own work (homophobia, abuse, addiction).

-Fanfiction Panel - All ages discussion of fan works.

-Freaks in Love: Thank You, May I Have Another? - A discussion of bdsm, consensual kink, power dynamics, and the challenges of writing a scene. 18 and up (ID Required).

-How to Scrub Your Fanfiction - Are you interested in publishing your fan fiction as an original work? Panelists will give tips on how to rework a story to make it viable for publication.

-Insecurity, Imposter Syndrome and other Creative Pitfalls - Back by popular demand. Being a fanfiction writer or artist is hard. You put your stuff out there and hope for the best. But there's often that feeling of not measuring up, that your stuff isn't good enough, that nobody really cares. It's important to talk about this, because it's normal, and it's okay. Everyone starts from somewhere, and someone does want to read or look at your stuff.

-OCs Encouraged - How To Go From Writing Fanfic to Creating Your Own Novels -Authors give insight into moving into the publishing world.

-PWP Fic - We all know that adult themes abound in fanfiction but why do we interact with this specific type of media differently than things that would traditionally be deemed pornographic. 18 and up (ID Required).

-World Building for Writers - Creating in depth universes to play hosts to your characters. What are some pitfalls we have all faced and how do we get around them?

Other Fun Panels You Should Check Out!

-221B Baking Street - Join us for a scrumptious panel on how Sherlock has inspired marshmallows, tea blending, and other foods.

-Anachronistic History - Research is always important in period pieces but modern storytelling and sci fi have made it possible to alter the rules of time. A look at out of place technologies in different historical eras.

-Communicating in a Meme Culture - A discussion of how millennial and Gen Z members use a collective and fast changing meme culture to communicate.

-Creativity and Neurodiversity - How does one take care of themselves while also creating, and how can one use the gifts that an unusual mind can give.

-Designing and Building an Original Costume - What do you do when you love Steampunk AND Disney, or Moulin Rouge AND Star Wars, or historical fashion AND superheroes? What if you have a great LARP character who needs a definitive “look?” Maybe you want to cosplay a non-human character, or an object! We've got you covered.

-Drug Use in the Victorian Era - It was a crazy time when opiates were readily available and women used cocaine for headaches. A discussion of drugs during the reign of Victoria. Spoiler alert: A 7% solution would have killed you.

-Edgar Allan Poe - As we observed the 170th anniversary of Poe’s death, let’s look back on his work and his contributions to detective fiction.

-Fandom Un-raveled: We’re Crafty – A look at online communities for Sherlock fans and fiber arts: knitting, crocheting, spinning and weaving.

-How to Make Podfics and Audiobooks - A How To guide for those starting out.

-Tattoos and Sherlock Holmes - A group discussion of Sherlock Holmes related tattoos and what they mean to you. Do you have a fandom tattoo? Come share your story.

-Teaching and Fandom - Many of us in fandom are teachers or Librarians, and no matter what subject we teach, fandom has influenced our teaching practice in many ways. In this panel, a group of educators will share ideas and talk about how participating in fandom has made us better teachers.

AND there’s of course all of the many Sherlock Holmes panels too! All Sherlock Holmes welcome from the original canon to the Great Mouse Detective, House, Psyche, and all the actors too! Check it out at 221bcon.com

#221BCon #Thrawn #fanfiction #LGBTQA+#fandom #Eli Vanto

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ubourgeois · 5 years

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Top 30 Films of 2018

I’m actually getting one of these out at a fairly reasonable time! I’m a champion.

Compared to last year, I would say 2018 had fewer films that I really loved, that shook me and immediately registered as important - but also, more films that have grown on me over time, that were clever and inventive in ways that convince me to look past their shortcomings (or reevaluate if they are shortcomings at all). Plenty of odd, perhaps imperfect movies made it far up the list, and I think I ended up privileging that weird streak more than usual this year. But hopefully that makes for interesting reading here.

I found making this list that a couple of the big arthousey hits of the year (Eighth Grade, Burning, The Rider, and others) ended up slipping into the basement of the top 50. Keep an eye out for a rejoinder post following this in a couple days where I hash out my thoughts on those. For now, top 30 after the jump:

30. Unsane dir. Steven Soderbergh

Remember when Tangerine came out and everyone was like, “wow I can’t believe this was shot on an iPhone” and it was a whole thing? Well, I can believe that Unsane was shot on an iPhone, and that’s really for the better. Ever the innovator, Soderbergh follows Sean Baker’s lead by taking full advantage of the logistical advantages and distinctive appearances of iPhone-shot footage, putting together a film that uses its hardware not as a flashy obstacle to be overcome but as a driver of its look and feel, proving at least for now that mobile-shot films are viable (though we’ll see how his next one turns out). The film itself is good too - Claire Foy gives a wonderfully prickly performance, and the claustrophobic visuals make for a great psychological thriller.

29. Cold War dir. Paweł Pawlikowski

Expanding on the aesthetic territory he explored with Ida, Pawlikowski brings another black & white, Polish-language period piece about identities split between different (religious, political) worlds. Cold War is the more complicated and perhaps less focused film, but also the more alluring one, with a luscious love story, incredible music (Łojojoj...), and great, showy performances from Joanna Kulig and Tomasz Kot. In other words, it’s luxurious, romantic Euro-arthouse fare. Probably best watched with a full glass of wine in hand.

28. Ready Player One dir. Steven Spielberg

A film that many accused of “pandering” to audiences for its many blink-and-you’ll-miss-it nods to 80s nostalgia and gaming culture, Ready Player One was on the contrary seemingly uninterested in anything of the sort. It managed to accomplish something more meaningful by packing the film so dense with nerd-bait that it becomes just texture and noise - Tracer popping up in the background of random scenes ends up being less of Overwatch reference and more of a piece of plausible set dressing in a VR social media hub. This contributed to RPO being not only a technically impressive but a visually overwhelming effects film, packaged around a seemingly knowing 80s blockbuster pastiche (the story, the character types, even the music cues were too old-fashioned to be on purpose). A film both smarter and easier to like than the discourse around it suggested.

27. Widows dir. Steve McQueen

I do really wish that McQueen would go back to making demanding, brutal films like Hunger, but if he simply has to become a commercial filmmaker I guess I don’t mind this. Surely the ensemble film of the year, with the entire cast firing on all cylinders - Daniel Kaluuya as the sadistic enforcer/campaign manager in particular impresses, though naturally Viola Davis, Elizabeth Debicki, Cynthia Erivo, and even Colin Farrell make for compelling characters in this twisty, nervy heist film. The action scenes are all impressively mounted (if a bit few and far between) and there are enough McQueen-esque florishes to keep things interesting in the interim (that long car scene!). Great moody popcorn stuff.

26. An Elephant Sitting Still dir. Hu Bo

Elephant has gotten a lot of press for two reasons: its nearly four-hour length and its director’s untimely death shortly after its completion. The length is important because it beats you into submission, forcing you to accept its rhythm and smothering you in tight focus on its main characters until you feel like it’s your own POV (I wasn’t really into it until, uh, the two hour mark, but then somehow I was hooked). Hu Bo’s death is important because knowing that, the sensation of being trapped, pressured, and disoriented by the Current State of China (ever the popular subject matter) feels all the more palpable and, maybe unfortunately, grants the film some extra layer of authority, or at least urgency. If I ever have the time or energy, I would love to revisit this film - I expect it will one day be seen as a landmark.

25. Make Me Up dir. Rachel Maclean

A bizarre little bit of sugary pop-feminist techno-dystopia, pulling off a sort of cinematic cousin to vaporwave by way of Eve Ensler. What unfolds is pretty insane, involving dance numbers, incomprehensible lectures on dodgy gender politics, and sets that look pulled out from a cheap children’s TV show. It’s definitely a marmite film - how well you connect with this will depend heavily on your tolerance for clearly-fake CG, well-trodden feminist talking points, and pastels - but for those with the appetite for this brand of political kitsch then this is just about the best version of itself imaginable.

24. Liz and the Blue Bird dir. Naoko Yamada

Naoko Yamada out Naoko Yamada-s herself. A standalone spinoff of Hibike! Euphonium that focuses on members of the secondary cast, Liz makes good on the sensitive, subtly-executed love story that the show ultimately failed to produce (not quite Adolescence of Utena-tier course correction, but we’ll take it). This is a film propelled by the tiniest gestures - a hand tensing behind the back, a nervous flicker of the eye, a cheerful bounce in the step - in that way animation can provide that seems not incidental but hugely, blatantly filled with meaning. While A Silent Voice was a great breakthrough for Yamada as an “original” feature, it’s Liz that feels like the more mature film, and a promising indicator for what lies ahead.

23. Sew the Winter to My Skin dir. Jahmil X.T. Qubeka

Maybe the most surprising film of the year is this, an action-biopic about John Kepe, a South African Robin Hood figure, that almost entirely eschews spoken dialogue in favor of visual storytelling, physical acting, and clever audio design. But this is not some pretentious, austere arthouse film substituting gimmicks for actual character; Sew the Winter to My Skin is an engaging, fascinating, and unexpectedly accessible historical epic, prioritizing mythic bigness over simple recitation of fact. While it demands some patience at first (with no dialogue, it takes a bit for the film to properly introduce its cast), it quickly shows itself to be an inventive, exciting, and occasionally funny adventure that proves Qubeka as a truly exciting voice in South African cinema.

22. Mom and Dad dir. Brian Taylor

Forget Mandy, THIS is the crazy Nic Cage movie of the year. A slick, rapid-fire horror comedy that feels almost like a music video at points, Mom and Dad has what’s surely Cage’s best unhinged performance in years as well as a great, more restrained turn by Selma Blair. The violence is ludicrous, the premise is nutty, and the sense of humor is utterly sick - that the film manages to squeeze out a surprisingly coherent commentary on suburban family life on top of this is a minor miracle (a scene where Cage destroys a pool table proves strangely thoughtful). For all the broadly acclaimed “serious” horror films in recent years, like this year’s kind of boring Hereditary, groan-filled A Quiet Place, and mostly incoherent Suspiria, I more appreciate this breed of deranged, funny, and tightly focused effort. It doesn’t need to be that deep.

21. Good Manners dir. Marco Dutra, Juliana Rojas

I’m going to mark this write-up with a **spoiler warning**, as I think it’s basically impossible to talk about this film without giving the game away. Good Manners has one of the best genre switcheroos in recent years, starting off as a proper Brazilian class drama (think Kleber Mendonça Filho) with a lesbian twist before explosively transforming into a horror movie that reveals a hidden monster-coming-of-age story that’s nearly unrecognizable as the same film from an hour before. As delightful as this bit of narrative sleight of hand is, it can’t justify a good film alone, which is where the great lead performance by Isabél Zuaa and the mesermizing, inventive matte paintings of the São Paulo skyline come into play, making this fantastical, genre-bending film a true original of the year.

20. The Miseducation of Cameron Post dir. Desiree Akhavan

There’s a tendency in the queer teen film genre to sometimes drift towards miserablist portrayals of growing up; to emphasize the hardship, nonunderstanding, and isolation to the expense of other experiences. Cameron Post manages to avoid this path even as it explores the dreadful premise of life in a conversion camp by balancing the solidarity, humor, and defiant joy hidden along the edges of the camp experience with the cruel, dehumanizing nature of the place. The film works, then, not only as a statement against conversion therapy and the real harm it does to all participants, but also as a lively, triumphant teen movie that feels more powerful than the lazy, doom-and-gloom approach.

19. Minding the Gap dir. Bing Liu

Few films capture the particular small city Midwest atmosphere quite like this one, a very raw documentary that feels very much like the first feature it is - but in a good way. Cut together from years of Liu’s amateur footage as well as new material of its subjects (the director and two of his old friends), a documentary that at first seems to be about the local skateboarding culture stretches out to many other topics: domestic violence, race relations, middle-American economic anxiety. The film, perhaps because of its closeness to the director and his relative inexperience, manages to take on a quick-moving scattershot approach, weaving stream-of-consciousness from one topic to the next, while still giving each the time and weight it deserves.

18. The Green Fog dir. Evan Johnson, Galen Johnson, Guy Maddin

A hard film to sum up, though at its heart not a terribly complicated one. Ostensibly a very loose reconstruction of Vertigo using clips from other material shot in San Francisco, from The Conversation to San Andreas to Murder, She Wrote, this new, uh, thing from Maddin and the Johnsons is a short, sweet, and really quite funny collage less interested in slavishly reenacting its inspiration than making funny jokes with movie clips. Some highlights include Rock Hudson carefully watching an *NSYNC music video on a tiny screen, a long sequence admiring Chuck Norris’ face that doesn’t seem to match any particular part of Vertigo, and a number of scenes of dialogue with all the speech cut out, leaving only awkward pauses and mouth noises. It’s high art!

17. Sorry to Bother You dir. Boots Riley

Boots Riley’s transition from long-standing underrated rapper to breakout auteur has been wild to witness. Sorry to Bother You is certainly one of 2018′s most original and distinctive films (what other film is it like, exactly?), and any complaints about unsubtle politics or overpacked narrative can be easily counterbalanced with the film’s sheer verve and oddball energy. Like Widows, it’s another of the great ensemble pieces of the year - Lakeith Stanfield and Tess Thompson are great as usual, and of the supporting cast Armie Hammer emerges as the standout with an incredibly funny halfway-villainous turn, plus a great bit of voice casting with David Cross. Leading candidate for this year’s Film of the Moment.

16. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse dir. Robert Persichetti Jr., Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman

The problem with comic book movies a lot of the time is that they’re somehow too embarrassed to own their source material. Into the Spider-Verse succeeds because it emphatically embraces its roots, not only visually (the cel shading, impact lines, and even text boxes that make up the film’s look) but also narratively, by adopting the multiverse concept in earnest and milking it for comedic and dramatic effect. It’s an incredibly innovative (not to mention gorgeous) animated film that not only raises the standard but expands the scope of superhero films, giving new hope to a genre that has been stuck spinning its wheels for years. Plus, it has probably the only post-credits scene actually worth the effort, which is a very special sort of victory.

15. Museo dir. Alonso Ruizpalacios

A playful, thoughtful heist film that gets the actual heist out of the way as soon as possible. Two suburban twenty-somethings pull off a daring robbery of Mayan artifacts from the National Museum of Anthropology in Mexico City, then set off on an ill-fated roadtrip to fence the goods. There’s a certain magic to this film, in its approach that is at once totally reverent and mythologizing but also eager to take the piss out of everything (the recurring motif of Revueltas’ The Night of the Mayas suite does both), and in how it turns this story into something of a love letter to the history and geography of Mexico. Very mature, well-balanced filmmaking in Ruizpalacios’ second feature.

14. BlacKkKlansman dir. Spike Lee

The best Spike Lee joint in a long, long time. It taps into the freewheeling, confrontational energy of his best work, but almost as a career victory lap as he makes a game out of outfoxing Klan members. There’s plenty of humor and tension here, with a great, dry leading duo in John David Washington and Adam Driver, and a funny turn from Topher Grace (!) as David Duke. Even if it does play it a bit safe with an easy target and wraps up a bit too easily (a quick flash-forward to Charlottesville as a postscript notwithstanding), it should be fine, I think, for a film to indulge in the simple pleasure of overcoming obvious villains in a glorious fashion. For all the recent films that give nuanced and serious takes on racism in America, one ought to be about the joy of blowing up the KKK.

13. Mirai dir. Mamoru Hosoda

Since he’s started making original features, Hosoda has been taken with relatively high-concept storylines, from his “debut” The Girl Who Leapt Through Time to Wolf Children, but Mirai is certainly his most ambitious yet. Nearly every choice about the film is a bit weird: from the unusual, compact layout of Kun’s home to Kun’s very believable, nearly alienating (to an older audience) childish behavior to the simply bizarre logistics and metaphysics of Kun’s fantastic adventures. The time- and space-travel antics Kun and Mirai get up to never seem entirely literal or entirely imagined, somewhere between childish fable and psychological sci-fi, a mixture that culminates in a surprisingly existential climax for an unabashed children’s film. After the quite safe The Boy and the Beast, it’s exciting to see Hosoda branch out into such a complicated and strange project, certainly the most daring animated feature of the year.

12. Support the Girls dir. Andrew Bujalski

A bubbly, sensitive, and lightly anarchic workplace comedy in that most essential of American institutions: the Hooters-flavored sports bar off the highway. Bujalski continues to prove himself an observant and funny writer, putting together a fascinating ensemble of characters brought to life by a perfectly-cast ensemble (Regina Hall is flawless as advertised, and Haley Lu Richardson brings us one of the most adorable characters in cinema). I don’t think I’ve seen a more charming film about workers’ solidarity and the lively communities that find their niche in liminal spaces.

11. First Reformed dir. Paul Schrader

Edgy priests are in a certain way low-hanging fruit; the tension is automatic, the contradiction inherently compelling. It’s a lazy symbol that can be milked for cheap profundity when employed, if you will, in bad faith. That’s why it’s so important that First Reformed, for all of its alcoholic, violent, libidinous angst packed into Ethan Hawke’s (masterfully interpreted) character, is also a great, genuine film about faith besides. It’s a Revelations film if I’ve ever seen one, about facing down the apocalypse with no way of understanding God’s plan, about living on the precipice of a collapse of belief, about accepting mystery. It’s the only film I saw this year that communicated actual dread, but even then still, somehow, bizarrely hopeful.

10. Birds of Passage dir. Cristina Gallego, Ciro Guerra

Ciro Guerra (now with partner Cristina Gallego co-directing) follows up the excellent Embrace of the Serpent with another powerful portrait of an indigenous community that, under the pressure of colonial influence, gradually devours itself. In the new film, however, this takes the form of a traditional gangster film, from the humble beginnings and runaway success to the explosions of violence and crumbling of an empire. Birds of Passage shows the origins of the Colombian drug trade with the native Wayuu people (a counterpoint, Gallego explains, to the much-celebrated Pablo Escobar narrative), and in doing so still finds room to organically and respectfully depict the traditions of the Wayuu, as well as showcase their beautiful language, which makes up much of the film’s dialogue. Best film in the genre since at least Carlos.

09. The Favourite dir. Yorgos Lanthimos

Though I really admire Dogtooth, I’ve found myself increasingly disappointed in Lanthimos’ output since that film. Alps was fine but clearly minor; The Lobster started strong but fizzled out; Killing of a Sacred Deer was ultimately too self-consciously bizarre. With The Favourite, we’re finally back in exciting, unsettlingly weird territory, Yorgos having found that his very mannered style of English dialogue works superbly in a costume drama context. He also gets great, uncharacteristically emotive performances (compared to, say, the last two Colin Farrell outings) out of his central trio of Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz, and Emma Stone, with especially great work coming from Stone, who I think has discovered that all of her best roles take full advantage of the fact that she looks like a cartoon character. It’s wonderfully perverse, incredibly funny stuff, with one of the great, inexplicable endings of the year - fair to call it a Buñuel revival.

08. Bisbee ‘17 dir. Robert Greene

A documentary that tackles a shocking forgotten chapter in American labor history - a group of strikers deported from their mining town and left for dead in the desert - as well as the potential of historical reenactment to act as communal therapy. Greene moves a bit sideways from his usual performance-centric subject matter to show a different kind of performance meant not to affect the audience but the performers themselves, breaking through decades of near-silence on Bisbee’s tumultuous small town history. It’s also a remarkably multi-faceted film; though it would certainly be easy to side fully with the strikers, Greene makes sure to document the perspectives of current Bisbee citizens who sympathize with or even celebrate the decision to deport, complicating the emotions and politics of the reenactment in genuinely interesting ways. A powerful, important documentary.

07. Asako I & II dir. Ryusuke Hamaguchi

Unwieldy and annoying English title aside (especially considering all the possible translations of Netemo Sametemo), Asako seems on the surface like nothing more than a cheap TV romance. It hits many of the same beats and adopts much of the visual style associated with this vein of visual media, particularly in the music video-esque, almost-supernatural meet-cute that opens the film. But hidden beneath these affectations is a shockingly cold un-romance, a story with an inevitable bad end that you’re tricked into thinking might not come to pass. By employing so many stylistic and even verbal cliches, Hamaguchi reveals how these internalized these storytelling devices are, and how they not only can’t prepare us for the complications of actual relationships, but even shift our expectations away from reality. It’s an absolute gut-punch of a film, covered in a seductively sweet carapace.

06. Sweet Country dir. Warwick Thornton

In a fairly large shift from his previous Samson and Delilah, Thornton has put together one of the best and most unusual Westerns in recent years. Featuring great, earthy performances from its nonprofessional cast (plus a bit of Sam Neill and Bryan Brown for good measure) and a weird, almost Malicky flash-forward structure, the film explores a not-widely-depicted history of exploitation of indigenous Australians. It’s a sad film, showing a fairly exciting lead-up to a somewhat deflating moment of unjust violence - but of course, many of the best Westerns aren’t about good triumphing, either. It’s the film on this list that most grew on me over the course of the year, having not impressed me at first but then blowing me away on a second viewing.

05. Leave No Trace dir. Debra Granik

For all the buzz surrounding Winter’s Bone��- a film that still holds up after so many years - it’s a bit surprising that it took Granik eight years to put out a follow-up, but I guess it’s worth the wait. Unlike Bone, Leave No Trace is a kind, gentle film, leaving behind the edgy Ozarkian drama of its predecessor for a similar but more forgiving setting of woodland communities in the Pacific Northwest. It initially seduces you with Ben Foster’s outdoorsy survivalist lifestyle, cut off by seemingly uncaring state officials, but gradually revealing, through the second thoughts of his daughter (Thomasin McKenzie, in a shall we say Lawrencian turn), the downsides and flawed motivations for their lifestyle choice. It’s a quiet and thoughtful film, melancholy and optimistic in equal measure. Makes one hope Granik can get another project off the ground sooner.

04. Roma dir. Alfonso Cuarón

I mean, what else can we say about Roma? It’s about as good as claimed, beautifully shot, framed, written, acted, whatever. It’s at its best, sort of ironically, when Cuarón breaks up the quiet personal drama for some of his characteristic action-y set pieces (a Children of Men-esque protest sequence and the climax on the beach are particularly memorable), but he also shows his talent in handling relatively uneventful family scenes, using the layout of the house to facilitate some surprisingly interesting camera movements. I’m happy that Cuarón, who could easily transition into a more boring prestige Hollywood filmmaker if he so chose, is using his industry clout to pull together neat little films like this.

03. The Old Man & the Gun dir. David Lowery

What a completely pleasant film. A film that walks a dangerous tightrope - one of nostalgia, roguish charm, and incessant aw-shucks optimism - that can easily fall into twee, navel-gazing hell, but that miraculously pulls it off, resulting in a genuinely spirit-lifting character study of an almost folkloric figure. Robert Redford’s good in this, but of course he is - that’s the whole point. Perhaps more appropriate to say that this film is good for Robert Redford, that it rises to the occasion of celebrating his career in full and pulls it off without appearing trite or disposable. As good a (reportedly) final outing as anyone could ask for.

02. I Do Not Care If We Go Down in History as Barbarians dir. Radu Jude

A nearly three-hour, densely conversational, nakedly didactic examination of the historical effects and contemporary sources of fascism and ethnic nationalism that somehow flies right by. Radu Jude, a relative latecomer to Romanian cinema’s rise to international prominence, makes a strong argument for being his country’s best and most important filmmaker, taking on complicated, controversial, and infrequently discussed subject matter about Romania’s troubled past. If you can get past Barbarians’ sort of user-unfriendly exterior (Iona Iacob opens the film by introducing herself and explaining her character, which tells you the sort of thing you’re getting into), it should prove to be a remarkably stimulating and even fiendishly funny ride.

01. Shoplifters dir. Hirokazu Koreeda

If you’ve spent the ten years since Still Walking wondering what exactly Koreeda is trying to do anymore, then this is your answer. He’s spent most of the last decade pumping out the same nonconventional family drama over and over again (everything from I Wish to After the Storm, at least) so he could hone his skills like a weapon and create the perfect, ultimate version. With a pitch-perfect cast (Koreeda regulars Lily Franky and Kirin Kiki are the standouts, but Sakura Ando, Mayu Matsuoka, and the two child actors more than hold their own), and probably the perfect expression of the chosen family, spots and all, that has consumed much of Koreeda’s career, Shoplifters is one of its director’s career-best films, showcasing all of his talent for depicting delicate, intimate moments and bringing smart, complex ideas to seemingly straightforward premises. The most exciting Palme d’Or winner in years and easily the best film of 2018.

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feministlikeme · 6 years

Link

1. Before explaining something to a woman, ask yourself if she might already understand. She may know more about it than you do.

2. Related: Never, ever try to explain feminism to a woman.

3. Trans women are women. Repeat that until you perish.

4. RESPECT PEOPLE’S PRONOUNS. It’s not hard.

5. Remember that fat women exist and aren’t all trying to get thin. Treat them with respect.

6. In fact, just never comment on a woman's body.

7. Be kind to women in customer service positions. Tip them extra. (But not in a creepy way.)

8. Trust women. When they teach you something, don't feel the need to go and check for yourself. And especially do not Google it in front of them.

9. Don’t maintain a double standard for… anything, ever.

10. CLOSE YOUR LEGS ON PUBLIC TRANSIT, OH MY GOD.

11. Trying to describe a woman positively? Say she's “talented,” “clever,” or “funny.” Not “gorgeous,” “sweet,” or “cute.”

12. Examine your language when talking about women. Get rid of “irrational,” “dramatic,” “bossy,” and “badgering” immediately.

13. Don't think to yourself, I describe men like that too. A) You probably don't. B) If you do, it's to criticize them for acting like a woman.

14. Do you love “fiery” Latina women? “Strong” Black women? “Mysterious” Asian women? Stop. Pick up a book on decolonial feminism. Read.

15. Stop calling women “feisty.” We don't need a special lady word for “has an opinion."

16. Recognize women's credibility when you introduce them. “Donna is lovely” is much less useful than “Donna knows shitloads about architecture.”

17. Think about how you describe the young women in your family. Celebrate them for being funny and smart, not for being pretty and compliant.

18. Examine the way you talk about women you’re attracted to. Fat women, old women, queer, trans, and powerful women are not your “guilty crush.”

19. Learn to praise a woman without demonizing other women. “You're not like other girls” is not a compliment. I want to be like other girls. Other girls are awesome.

20. Share writing by women. Don't paraphrase their work in your own Facebook post to show us all how smart or woke you are. I guarantee the woman said it better in the first place.

21. Buy sanitary pads and tampons and donate them to a homeless shelter. Just do it.

22. How much of what you are watching/reading/listening to was made by women? Gender balance your bookcase.

23. Feeling proud of your balanced bookcase? Are there women of color there? Trans, queer, and disabled women? Poor women? Always make sure you’re being intersectional.

24. Don't buy media that demeans women’s experiences, valorizes violence against women, or excludes them entirely from a cast. It's not enough to oppose those things. You have to actively make them unmarketable.

25. Pay attention to stories with nuanced female characters. It will be interesting, I promise.

26. If you read stories to a child, swap the genders.

27. Watch women's sport. And just call it “sports.”

28. Withdraw your support from sports clubs, institutions, and companies that protect and employ rapists and abusers.

29. Stop raving about Woody Allen. I don't care if he shits gold. Find a non-accused-abuser to fanboy over.

30. It's General Leia, not princess. The Doctor has a companion, not an assistant. It's Doctor Bartlett, not Mrs Madame First Lady.

31. Cast women in parts written for men. We know how to rule kingdoms, go to war, be, not be, and wait for Godot.

32. Pay for porn.

33. Recognize that sex work is work. Be an advocate for and ally to sex workers without speaking for them.

34. Share political hot takes from women as well as men. They might not be as widely accessible, so look for them.

35. Understand that it was never “about ethics in journalism.”

36. Speak less in meetings today to make space for your women colleagues to share their thoughts. If you're leading the meeting, make sure women are being heard as much as men.

37. If a woman makes a good point, say, “That was a good point.” Don't repeat her point and take credit for it.

38. Promote women. Their leadership styles may be different than yours. That's probably a good thing.

39. Recruit women on the same salary as men. Even if they don't ask for it.

40. Open doors for women with caring responsibilities by offering flexible employment contracts.

41. If you meet a man and a woman at work, do not assume the man is the superior for literally no reason.

42. If you're wrongly assumed to be more experienced than a woman colleague, correct that person and pass the platform to the woman who knows more.

43. Make a round of tea for the office.

44. Wash it up.

45. If you find you're only interviewing men for a role, rewrite the job listing so that it’s more welcoming to women.

46. Make sure you have women on your interview panel.

47. Tell female colleagues what your salary is.

48. Make sure there's childcare at your events.

49. Don't schedule breakfast meetings during the school run.

50. If you manage a team, make sure that your employees know that you recognize period pain and cystitis as legitimate reasons for a sick day.

51. If you have a strict boss (or mom or teacher) who is a woman, she is not a “bitch.” Grow up.

52. Expect a woman to do the stuff that's in her job description. Not the other miscellaneous shit you don't know how to do yourself.

53. Refuse to speak on an all-male panel.

54. In a Q&A session, only put your hand up if you have A QUESTION. Others didn’t attend to listen to you.

55. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against trans or non-binary people, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for cis women, too.)

56. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against women of other races, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for white women, too.)

57. If you see women with their hands up, put yours down. This can be taken as a metaphor for a lot of things. Think about it.

58. Raising a feminist daughter means she's going to disagree with you. And probably be right. Feel proud, not threatened.

59. Teach your sons to listen to girls, give them space, believe them, and elevate them.

60. Dads, buy your daughter tampons, make her hot water bottles, wash her bras. Show her that her body isn't something to be ashamed of.

61. But dads, do not try to iron her bras. This is a mistake you will only make once.

62. Examine how domestic labor is divided in your home. Who does the cleaning, the childcare, the organizing, the meal budgeting? Sons, this goes for you, too.

63. Learn how to do domestic tasks to a high standard. “I'd only do it wrong” is a bullshit excuse.

64. Never again comment on how long it takes a woman to get ready. WE ARE TRYING TO MEET THE RIDICULOUS STANDARDS OF A SYSTEM YOU BENEFIT FROM.

65. Challenge the patriarchs in your religious group when they enable the oppression of women.

66. Challenge the patriarchs in your secular movement when they enable the oppression of women.

67. Trust women's religious choices. Don't pretend to liberate them just so you can criticise their beliefs.

68. Examine who books your trips, arranges outings, organizes Christmas, buys birthday cards. Is it a woman? IS IT?

69. And if it is actually you, a man, don't even dare get in touch with me looking for your medal.

70. Take stock of the emotional labor you expect from women. Do you turn to the women around you for emotional support and give nothing in return?

71. Remember that loving your mom/sister/girlfriend is not the same as giving up your own privilege to progress equality for women. And that gender inequality extends beyond the women in your direct social group.

72. Don’t assume that all women are attracted to men.

73. Don’t assume that a woman in public wants to talk to you just because she’s in public.

74. If a woman tells you she was raped, assaulted, or abused, don't ask her for proof. Ask how you can support her.

75. If you see a friend or colleague being inappropriate to a woman, call him out. You will survive the awkwardness, I promise.

76. Repeat after me: Always. Hold. Men. Accountable. For. Their. Actions.

77. Do not walk too close to a woman late at night. That shit can be scary.

78. If you see a woman being followed or otherwise bothered by a stranger, stick around to make sure she’s safe.

79. This should go without saying: Do not yell unsolicited “compliments” at women on the street. Or anywhere.

80. If you are a queer man, recognize that your sexuality doesn’t exclude you from potential misogyny.

81. If you are a queer man, recognize that your queer women or non-binary friends may not feel comfortable in a male-dominated space, even if it’s dominated by queer men.

82. Be happy to have women friends without needing them to want to sleep with you. The “friend zone” is not a thing. We do not owe you sex.

83. Remember that you can lack consent in situations not involving sex—such as when pursuing uninterested women or forcing a hug on a colleague.

84. Champion sex positive women but don't expect them to have sex with you.

85. Trust a woman to know her own body. If she says she won't enjoy part of your sexual repertoire, do not try to convince her otherwise.

86. Be sensitive to nonverbal cues from women, especially around sex. We’re not just being awkward for no reason. (You read “Cat Person,” didn’t you?)

87. It is not cute to try to persuade a woman to have sex with you. EVER. AT ALL. Go home.

88. Same goes for pressuring women to have sex without a condom. Go. Home. And masturbate.

89. Accidentally impregnated a women who doesn't want a kid? Abortions cost money. Pay for half of it.

90. Accidentally came inside a woman without protection? Plan B is expensive. Pay for all of it.

91. Get STD tested. Regularly. Without having to be asked.

92. Examine your opinion on abortion. Then put it in a box. Because, honestly, it's completely irrelevant.

93. Understand that disabled women are whole, sexual human beings. Listen to and respect them.

94. Understand that not all women have periods or vaginas.

95. Believe women's pain. Periods hurt. Endometriosis is real. Polycystic ovaries, vaginal pain, cystitis. These things are real. Hysteria isn’t.

96. If a woman accidentally bleeds on you, try your absolute best to just keep your shit together.

97. Lobby your elected officials to implement high quality sex education in schools.

98. Uplift young Black and Indigenous girls at every possible opportunity. No excuses.

99. Do not ever assume you know what it’s like.

100. Mainly, just listen to women. Listen to us and believe us. It’s the only place to start if you actually want all women to have a “Happy International Women’s Day.”

#feminism #sexism #misogyny #patriarchy #equality #truth #rape culture #trans #lgbtqia #girl hate

121 notes · View notes

stars-and-branches · 3 years

Note

1, 7, 12, 15, 17, 19, 21, 23, 24, 25, 27, 30, 31, 38, 39, 42-51, 53, 57, 58 (would just love it hear more about), 60, 65, 70, 72, 73, 78-83, 90, 93 (hate this term being used outside of indigenous contexts but an animal you connect with), 94-97, 99

Answers under the cut!

1. What’s one animal you wish you could have as a pet but can’t?

A snake, I think they’re really cool! I don’t really know enough about reptiles to be able to have one and care for it properly though.

7. Chocolate or fruity candy?

I am,,,,, a fruity bitch. I like fruity candy most of the time but sometimes chocolate hits the spot.

12. Any hidden talents?

Not really hidden but I don’t talk about it a lot on here. I know how to play the piano! I took lessons for a decade.

15. Favorite board game?

Mexican train, my family plays it sometimes for game night and it’s fun.

17. Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?

Layerssss. It could be below zero outside and I’d still keep the windows cracked open so I can layer on more blankets.

19. Favorite song to belt out at the top of your lungs when you’re alone?

Any song Hozier’s ever made, the My Chemical Romance Danger Days album, or just whatever is living in my head rent free. Lately it’s been sea shanties.

21. At what age did you first have alcohol?

I think I was in middle school? My Dad gave me a sip of his beer expecting some dramatic reaction and uh, that didn’t happen.

23. What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?

I don’t really like spending money - paying the housing deposit out of pocket is a little painful rn - so I guess $40ish?

24. What do you typically wear to formal events?

When I was younger I never had a choice and was always shoved into a dress. Nowadays I’d probably go by how dysphoric I’m feeling. I want to wear a suit at least once!

25. Favorite memory?

Hoooo boy that’s hard to pick. I guess going to see Dead and Company for a three day show at the Hollywood Bowl a year before my Mom died. We had a lot of fun, it was really beautiful, and there were a lot of good moments.

27. Favorite shoes?

I have a pair of black leather heeled boots with red laces. I refer to them as my “stompy boots”. They’re the only thing I own that emits top energy and I never wear them because they have a five inch heel and I have lots of foot pain.

30. Have you ever had braces?

Unfortunately. I got them taken off a few months ago though :D

31. Most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

Drive. I’m the walking talking stereotype of gays being unable to drive. I almost crashed my grandmother’s car with my entire family in it. Not a fun time.

38. What color do you wear the most?

I answered this in a different ask but black. I’m trying to incorporate more colors into my clothes though!

39. Favorite season?

The rainy season where I live. For a few months the usually barren desert teems with life. It’s beautiful and the only time I can actually grow anything.

42. First car you ever owned?

I have a 2001 Honda Accord.

43. What time do you usually go to bed?

Early. My friends often give me shit for having the sleeping hours of a retiree. I used to be a night owl but I had to get up at 4am all throughout high school so I started going to bed immediately after dinner. I haven’t been able to kick the habit.

44. Are you a competitive person?

Yes but I don’t like competitions. I’m competitive in the sense that I’m constantly comparing myself to how others are doing and I try to be better than those around me. Of course, I’d never admit this out loud but the internet is fine apparently a;kjnvdfdasdvdf

45. Least favorite color?

Orange.

46. First pet you’ve ever owned?

A small tabby cat named India. I still have her, my parents got her when I was 4 months old :).

47. Sweet or salty?

Yes.

48. Favorite pasta dish?

Ravioli!!!

49. Favorite kind of chips?

Limon chips. Though black pepper is a close second.

50. Talk about something you’re passionate about.

I did this in a previous ask and I’m tired so this question gets a skip.

51. What are some of your hobbies?

Baking, gardening, video games, reading, journaling, drawing.

53. Favorite kind of pizza?

Either vegetarian pizza or margherita pizza.

57. Favorite labels about you?

I take pride in my queerness and being disabled. The latter because I love the spoonie community and it’s a huge part of my identity.

58. Are you a religious person?

Yes, in the sense that I’m a very spiritual person. I’m a witch. I’ve considered myself a pagan for the past five years, and I’m currently exploring Christianity since my religious path has grown too stagnant.

60. What size shoe do you wear?

It depends on the phase of the moon just about, lmao. I wear a 6 1/2, as wide as the shoemaker can make it. I have really short but really wide feet.

65. Favorite fruit?

Yes. I love most fruits (fuck pears).

70. Favorite dessert?

I don’t really have a set favorite? If I had to pick I guess it would be a fruit tart.

72. Age you learned how to swim?

Either 6 or 7.

73. Tell a funny story.

I used to be friends with a guy who was like. Ridiculously tall. Ultra flamboyant, very loud, like if the color neon orange was condensed into a human being. In my sophomore year of highschool we sat on some bleachers during the homecoming pep rally. He refused to stand up for the national anthem. We were sitting directly in front of the football players in the most redneck school in california. I sat down with him because I didn’t want to witness him getting jumped and thrown off the bleachers. We got called a bunch of slurs through the whole anthem and screamed at. Stuff was thrown at us. They kept kicking us repeatedly. One dude was kicking his neck over and over. The football players were more of a disruption than we were. Eventually, everyone sat down and they finally got bored and stopped. Aside from the one kid who was kicking the person I was friends with, he passed time by throwing pieces of food at us.

This kid, who I’m dubbing Dipshit McGee, kept doing this until I heard him suddenly yell, “Oh shit!”

I looked over my shoulder. My friend at the time started guffawing. Dipshit McGee dropped his phone from the top of the bleachers and it shattered into a million little pieces on the dirt below.

78. What’s your favorite compliment to give?

Usually simple things that express my appreciation. I use “I love you” a lot with my family. There’s only so many times that you get the chance to say it.

79. What’s your favorite compliment to receive?

Honestly any compliment. I’m not used to flattery so my brain just shuts down instantly.

80. Has your opinion changed on something recently?

Yup, that’s why I’m looking into abrahamic religions.

81. Do you always order the same thing at a restaurant or order something different each time?

If I go to the restaurant a lot then I’ll usually just order the same thing. If it’s somewhere new I’ll switch things up a bit.

82. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?

Crochet. It’s something all the women in my family do. I have all the tools I need (except for yarn) but haven’t brought myself to work on it.

83. If you could learn to do anything right now, what would it be?

On top of all the other stuff I’m learning? Maybe increase my cooking/baking skills! I want to work with pastry more.

90. What’s something you wish you had more knowledge about?

The occult, spirituality, religion. I’m always chasing after knowledge in those areas.

93. What’s your spirit animal?

Yeah, I hate this term being used in a non-indigenous context too. As far as an animal I connect with goes, it’s a tie between snakes and cats. Cats because I love them dearly and have connected with them my whole life, we vibe. Snakes because I love their spiritual significance: connection to the earth, constantly shedding their skin and changing.

94. What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

Managing to steer the car away from crashing in the incident I mentioned in 31.

95. Are you the type to have an organized mess, or no mess at all?

No mess at all, preferably. I like to keep my space relatively tidy. Mess makes me really stressed.

96. Do you tend to make decisions based on the past, present, or future?

All three.

97. Are you a planner or a more spontaneous person?

I’m more of a planner. Spontaneity is very difficult for me but I’m trying to improve.

99. What do you hope never changes?

My ability to romanticize the small parts of my life, to find joy in even the simplest of things.

0 notes

dumberthanbefore-blog · 7 years

Text

hey its me

I forgot where I got this, it took me a long time to fill out, but I thought it would introduce you to me.

1. What’s your middle name? Grace

2. What are you listening to right now? the new Kesha

3. What was the last thing you ate? special k

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? I don't remember

5. Do you drink? Not very often since my surgery

6. Do you smoke? No

7. What is the first thing you notice in someone? If their nice to me

8. What is your hair color? Red

9. What is your eye color? Blue/Green

10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? No

11. Dogs or cats? Cats

12. What’s your favorite animal? Dolphins

13. What’s your favorite television show? Steven Universe

14. What’s your favorite movie? Probably Spice World? It use to be Nashville but I lost my attention span

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? Grimes

16. How old are you? 32

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? Always

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Gay

19. What’s your favorite color? Green

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Hanging out with my friends the first time after my brain surgery and having to tell them I wasn't smart enough anymore to know what they were talking about

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Not really

22. What were you like when you were a kid? Smart

23. What would your dream house be like? A beach house on an island

24. What last made you laugh? A show on Food network

25. What is your favorite word? Dumb

26. What is your least favorite word? Retarded

27. What turns you on? Embarassment

28. What turns you off? Being lied to

29. What is your star sign? Pisces

30. What are your favorite books? I don't read books anymore

31. Do you have any siblings? No

32. Do you like to dance? I love to

33. What is your definition of cheating? breaking the rules you and youre partner agreed on

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? not since hi school

35. Do you regret anything? wasting so long focusing on how smart I was

36. Do you have any phobias? Losing more of my brain and being a vegetable

37. Ever broken any bones? Yes

38. Ever come close to death? Twice but both times I lived and just got dumber

39. What is your religion, if any? None

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Yes

41. Are looks important in a relationship? Yes tbh

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? Dad

 43. What is your favorite season? don’t really have seasons here but i like summer so its ok

44. Do you have any tattoos? Just one

45. Do you have any piercings? ears

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? lots of girlfriends and one boyfriend a long time ago  

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? all the time

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Kristin Bell

49. Are you a virgin? The furthest thing from a Virgin

 50. Do you get jealous easily? No.

51. What is your favorite type of food? tacos

52. Do you ever want to get married? sure why not

53. Who was your first kiss with? my best friend Emma

54. Have you ever been cheated on? no. its easy not to be when your poly

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? nice dinner maybe the beach hot sex

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? not sure

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? when I was smart I didn’t. now I kinda forget why not but I was real smart so probably right  

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with? singing

59. What is your saddest memory? boo to this

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? Sure

 61. Do you believe in soul mates? Kinda 

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes. Black purple and dark red. lately i been thinking about blonde tbh

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? yes but thats not worth worrying about

64. Would you go against your moral code for money? maybe?

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? Before every thing that happened to my brain I taught college and made money writing and was a very good cook

66. Who are you jealous of? Nobody I have a great life.

 67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? No

68. How long was your longest relationship? 5 years

 69. Is the glass half empty or half full? Half full  

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Walk me naked down the street on a leash

71. Who is your most loyal friend? Kari 

72. Are you in a relationship?  Yes

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? She takes care of me and helps me remember things

 74. Are you a bad person? No I’m a good person

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? Lover obvi

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Had a party . It was not long after my surgery so I was still gettin used to my new brain

77. What is your favorite quote and why? I dunno

 78. If your best friend died, what would you do? Cry I guess? This questions a bummer

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? I guess I’d either stay smart or get better at stuff I can still be good at once I’m stupid

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? sex and food

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? I had a dream that the doctors told me they had to cut my clit off because I’m not smart enough anymore to have one

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I am very happy in my relationship

83. Who were you in a past life? some kinda oracle

84. What is your happiest childhood memory? Going out on a boat with my parents 

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Of course. Straight girls...

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? Not really but I’ve been thinking of getting one, now seems like a good time 

87. If you were the president, what would you do? I don’t know but I’d be better at it than some people

88. What is your ideal career? Now? I dunno. Full time dumb naked girl works pretty well

89. What is your political affiliation? the queer left. 

90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal. A lot of my friends say their to far left to be liberal but I get confused about all that these days

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection? female duh

92. Do you like kissing in public? Sure

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? nobody would be opressed or harassed for being who they are. and I’d be allowed naked in public

94. Where would you like to live? I like it here

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation? somewhere I don’t have to pack clothes

96. Describe yourself in one word. Dummy.

97. Describe yourself in one sentence. I used to be smarter than this but I’m happier dumb.

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betsybugaboo · 7 years

Text

I was tagged by @liv-andletdie Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

I’m not gonna hit 20 but here you go:

@missc3r3alkiller, @trashyshadow, @disease-danger-darkness-silence, @killerqueenrara, @violabeatriceophelia, @aproperkatie, @ohnothatweirdo, @haraversian

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Root Beer

2. Phone call: painfully awkward

3. Text message: to my mom about my future roommate (the sixth one!) switching out of the room

4. Song you listened to: Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys Knight and the Pips or the fourth ED from Yu Yu Hakusho, I can’t remember

5. Time you cried: this morning because I tried imitation crab and the texture was b a d

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Is this like going on two consecutive dates or two nonconsecutive dates like in some sitcom? Either way no.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes

8. Been cheated on: Nope

9. Lost someone special: no one I knew personally but I cried a lot when Pterry and Carrie Fisher died

10. Been depressed : That’s my secret. I’m always depressed.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Teal, pink, and green IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: I’d like to think I have

16. Fallen out of love: You have to be in love to fall out of it.

17. Laughed until you cried: no

18. Found out someone was talking about you: ~_~ Probably can’t remember

19. Met someone who changed you : not really

20. Found out who your friends are: I already knew

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I only accept friend requests from people I know irl

23. Do you have any pets: Enzo, a Lhasa Apso-Poodle mix

24. Do you want to change your name: I want to add Andrew as a second first name so it’s be Ellen Andrew.

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Not much

26. What time did you wake up: 8:45

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: working on a JJBA AMV with new software that has lag issues

28. Name something you can’t wait for: New JoJolion chapter, JJBA movie, going to college, death

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: A few hours ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: if the GOP could all die and my parents could be good people that would be great

31. What are you listening to right now: A British dude review a knockoff kindle

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: my brother’s friend’s dad is named Tom. He’s a chiropractor and for a long time had this hideous beard like the guys on Duck Dynasty

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: in movies or tv where people find/investigate crime scenes but do it incredibly wrong

34. Most visited website: tumblr and Ao3

35. Mole/s: I have one on the left side of my face, two by my mouth, and a bunch on my arms

36. Mark/s: I’ve got a birthmark that’s faded a lot that used to look like a scorpion and a faded scar on my right ring finger from a game of spoons

37. Childhood dream: to be a forensic investigator

38. Hair color: currently faded purple-pinkish, the natural color is a dark brown

39. Long or short hair: short but needs a trim

40. Do you have a crush on someone: not recently

41. What do you like about yourself: I’m smart and read a lot

42. Piercings: I used to have pierced ears but earrings made me uncomfortable enough that I stopped using them enough to let the holes heal. I might get more piercings in the future, who knows

43. Blood type: shrugs idk

44. Nickname: Ellen (Tayler is the only one who knows I’m queer who’s allowed to use this rather than Ellen Andrew), Betsy, Bugaboo (three guesses where my username came from)

45. Relationship status: none

46. Zodiac: Aries

47. Pronouns: Ze/zer, they/them, or xe/xem

48. Favorite TV Show(s): I don’t watch a lot of TV but I do love CSI and Pushing Daisies

49. Tattoos: None, but I want to get a star on my shoulder and maybe either an anchor or an ouroborous on my hip

50. Right or left hand: Right-handed

51. Surgery: tonsillectomy in fourth grade

52. Hair dyed in different color: (In Order) It starts out a deep purple, then fades to a pink

53. Sports: I suck at all of them except floor hockey

55. Vacation: I love going to Fallen Leaf Lake in California, I’d also love to go back to Ottawa

56. Shoes: converse MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing but I’d love some pizza

58. Drinking: nothing

59. I’m about to: listen to the Jojo’s World podcast

61. Waiting for: one of the eight million places I’ve applied to to contact me ffs

62. Want: A JOB

63. Get married: probably not, maybe for tax purposes

64. Career: Forensic Science!

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs hands down

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: Honestly probably shorter but I don’t care that much

68. Older or younger: within a year of my age

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive I’m already the loud one

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: ... depends HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: no

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no

77. Turned someone down: yeah

78. Sex on the first date: no

79. Broken someone’s heart: probably not

80. Had your heart broken: yeah

81. Been arrested: no though I’ve done stuff that I could get arrested for

82. Cried when someone died: Yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yeah DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: lol no

85. Miracles: maybe

86. Love at first sight: sounds fake but okay

87. Santa Claus: no

88. Kiss on the first date: probs not though it’d depend

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Tay Tay (@missc3r3alkiller)

91. Eye color: dark brown

92. Favorite movie: uhhhhh Here’s a top 10, not in any particular order:

Meet the Robinsons

Le Retour de Martin Guerre

The Star Wars OT, the new trilogy, Rogue One, and the Ewok Chronicles

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Les Miserables (1995)

Adolescence of Utena

Emperor’s New Groove

Spirited Away

The Goonies

Psycho

#me

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eddiecranes · 7 years

Text

I got tagged earlier today by @cheapskate-bleeding-queer to answer 92 questions (actually there are some missing, you might wanna look into that) but now that I’m on my laptop and not in class I can do this for real

Last:

1) Drink: Diet Pepsi 2) Phone call: With my sister in Portland (also I guess I technically talked to her cat too) 3) Text message: To my dad 4) Song you listened to: TLSP - “Miracle Aligner” (btw thanks Dean) 5) Time you cried: Probably last night bc I am a mushy goblin

Have you:

6) Dated someone twice: No 7) Kissed someone and regretted it: In order to do that I would have to have kissed someone in the first place so nyet 8) Been cheated on: Nope I am confident that I have not been 9) Lost someone special: Yes, multiple times 10) Been depressed: If you followed my old blog you know that I d e f i n i t e l y have 11) Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never been drunk in the first place but I’m sure that when I do, I will be nauseous enough to hurl

List three favorite colors:

12) Red 13) Violet 14) Cobalt blue

In the last year have you:

15) Made new friends: Yes, lots :) I was just thinking about how yesterday was the first anniversary of me starting college and gosh there are so many great people in my major 16) Fallen out of love: Tbh I don’t think I was ever in love until a couple of months ago so no I haven’t fallen out of love 17) Laughed until you cried: I’m sure I did at some point yeah 18) Found out someone was talking about you: Lol yeah 19) Met someone who changed you: Mhm, a few people :) 20) Found out who your friends are: I guess, idk this is a really ominous-sounding question but I suppose I realized that some people didn’t deserve my friendship bc they made me feel bad all the time (in short, yeah?) 21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: *see 7*

General:

22) How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Nearly all of them, but for some reason I’m friends with my sister’s friend who may have been her professor(?) and I have never once met or talked to him 23) Do you have any pets: Yes, four sweet babies I would die for 24) Do you want to change your name: Not my first name 25) What did you do for your last birthday: Got hella good pasta and also a froyo cake 26) What time did you wake up: Around 6:15 AM 27) What were you doing at midnight last night: Talking to @leerockers about...was it the weird Trotsky movie 28) Name something you can’t wait for: My music editing class tomorrow afternoon!! 29) When was the last time you saw your mom: Monday morning 30) What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My looks, for sure 31) What are you listening to right now: Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band what the fuck am I doing here is any of this even real 32) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I am sure I have, it’s a very common name? 33) Something that is getting on your nerves: My school not being able to get things done gggggggg 34) Most-visited website: This one

Random info:

35) Mole(s): One on my cheek, one on my calf, might have more 36) Mark(s): I don’t think I have any birthmarks 37) Childhood dream: I really wanted to be an actress 38) Hair color: Light brown 39) Long or short hair: Short 40) Do you have a crush on someone: *looks around* *whispers* Don’t tell Tegan but...I kind of have a crush on him, like? I think he’s p cute and stuff, but don’t tell him 41) What do you like about yourself: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 42) Piercings: Only my ears 43) Blood type: O positive 44) Nickname: Barbara is my favorite it’s my suburban mom persona 45) Relationship status: I’m in one, congratulate me boys 46) Zodiac: Cancer 47) Pronouns: She/her 48) Favorite TV show: Psych, although I’ve been watching a lot of The Office lately 49) Tattoos: None yet 50) Right or left handed: Left 51) Surgery: Never 52) Hair dyed a different color: Yeah I guess it’s dyed red but it’s fading 53) Sport: No and I’m offended you even suggested, the audacity 54) No 54? 55) Vacation: What 56) Pair of trainers: No

More general:

57) Eating: Nothing atm 58) Drinking: More Diet Pepsi, I am Going To Die 59) I’m about to: Get into my nighty-nights 60) No 60 either 61) Waiting for: Godot (jk I’m not really waiting for anything) 62) Want: Stability 63) Get married: Yes :) 64) Career: Musician/songwriter

Which is better:

65) Hugs or kisses: Never experienced the latter so I cannot properly answer this 66) Lips or eyes: Eyes <3 <3 <3 All about the eyes 67) Taller or shorter: Shorter 68) Older or younger: Definitely older 69) There isn’t one wth (also haha) 70) Nice arms or nice stomach: Umm idk, I like cute squishy tums and tbh I don’t really care about arms all that much 71) Sensitive or loud: Sensitive 72) Hookup or relationship: Relationship obvs, I mean it feels p good and I don’t imagine a hookup feeling all that great 73) Troublemaker or hesitant: Either one

Have you ever:

74) Kissed a stranger: *see 7* 75) Drank hard liquor: No 76) Lost glasses/contact lenses: No bc I don’t have to wear them as far as I know 77) Turned someone down: What idk 78) Sex on the first date: No I have done none of those things you just mentioned in that sentence at all 79) Broken someone’s heart: Not that I know of 80) Had your heart broken: Ehhhh sort of, not to the point where like I was in tears but there has been slight disappointment (wait actually it broke my heart when I found out one of my favorite musicians was a DICK TO WOMEN) 81) Been arrested: No 82) Cried when someone died: Yes ofc 83) Fallen for a friend: I have had a crush on a friend before buuuut as it turned out he had a boyfriend but I’m really happy where I am right now and I’m glad I didn’t end up with him bc he voted for an anti-vaxxer lmao

Do you believe in:

84) Yourself: looooool no :( 85) Miracles: No, I am not lead singer of the band Hot Chocolate 86) Love at first sight: No, I mean that wasn’t the case for me 87) Santa Claus: Not anymore 88) Kiss on the first date: Why not? 89) Angels: No

Other:

90) Current best friend’s name: Ummm I don’t think I have one best friend 91) Eye color: Blue :P 92) Favorite movie: Harold and Maude

Fuck idk who to tag, you can just do this and say I tagged you

#tag tag

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thedrowsydoormouse · 5 years

Text

As per tradition, @anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam answered all the asks and now I will, too.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

Spotify.

2. is your room messy or clean?

Organized chaos

3. what color are your eyes?

Blue

4. do you like your name? why?

I hate the name I was born with but love the name I go by now.

5. what is your relationship status?

Happily taken.

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

Queer glitter goth

7. what color hair do you have?

Deep purple red

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

None.

9. where do you shop?

Pretty much anywhere I can find cute black clothes.

10. how would you describe your style?

Goth time traveler who keeps forgetting what year it is.

11. favorite social media account

Tumblr.

12. what size bed do you have?

Queen

13. any siblings?

Two sisters and a brother.

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

Ney York because it was the only place I’ve been that instantly felt like home.

15. favorite snapchat filter?

I don’t use snapchat.

16. favorite makeup brand(s)

Blackmoon, Urban Decay, Milk, Lime Crime.

17. how many times a week do you shower?

Every day

18. favorite tv show?

Doctor Who. (It was Supernatural but I broke up with it because of artistic differences. I saw Jack as alive, they saw him dead. And yes, that was a Chicago reference.)

19. shoe size?

US women’s 10.

20. how tall are you?

6′ 1/2″

21. sandals or sneakers?

Strap-y sandals with a decent sized wedge.

22. do you go to the gym?

Never.

23. describe your dream date

Disneyland during the Halloween season complete with a crap ton of special snacks and shopping for all the Haunted Mansion and Nightmare Before Christmas merch my little spooky heart can handle!

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

$35 in cash plus some gift cards that I have no idea how much is on them. And a 20% coupon for Sephora.

25. what color socks are you wearing?

None.

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

Five or more.

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

Nope.

28. how many friends do you have?

No clue. Mostly because almost none of them ever actually talk to me.

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

Been indirectly responsible for the deaths of at least 3 people and the end of countless other marriages. And possibly one other person needing open heart surgery but the jury is still out on that one.

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

It’s called White Barn #1 and it smells like Halloween but more mature and a little bit musty.

31. 3 favorite boy names

Jack, Bucky, Stu

32. 3 favorite girl names

Marilyn, Olivia, Wednesday

33. favorite actor?

Doug Jones

34. favorite actress?

Marilyn Monroe

35. who is your celebrity crush?

Right now it’s Sebastian Stan, Alex Calvert, Hale Appleman, and Taron Egerton.

36. favorite movie?

Princess Bride.

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

I used to but now I don’t have enough spoons.

38. money or brains?

Why not both?

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

I have several but I can’t mention them because they’re “private”! ;)

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

None.

41. top 10 favorite songs

I can’t pick just 10.

42. do you take any medications daily?

CBD oil.

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

Combination.

44. what is your biggest fear?

A giant spider clown doll on Christmas. And the threat of being killed by a mass shooter during the impending nuclear apocalypse.

45. how many kids do you want?

None.

46. whats your go to hair style?

Half bun, half ponytail secured with a clip. or a side braid.

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

Decent sized.

48. who is your role model?

Myself.

49. what was the last compliment you received?

My mom said I’m really good at cooking salmon. Which is random but true.

50. what was the last text you sent?

I had to text my address to my therapist.

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

Third grade.

52. what is your dream car?

A motorcycle.

53. opinion on smoking?

Disgusting and an instant deal breaker.

54. do you go to college?

I dropped out the week before my 21st birthday.

55. what is your dream job?

Acting in a musical on Broadway that hopefully gets nominated for a Tony.

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

The city.

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Always.

58. do you have freckles?

Tons of them (I’m like 66% Irish. We’re covered in the things.)

59. do you smile for pictures?

Depends on the picture but I look better when I don’t.

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

Fuck if I know. But I know it’s an even number. It’s always an even number.

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

Regrettably.

62. do you still watch cartoons?

Who doesn’t?

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Neither.

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

Ranch.

65. what do you wear to bed?

Sweat shorts and a tank top in the warm months, sweats and an over-sized sweater in the cold months.

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

I’m not a nerd.

67. what are your hobbies?

Drinking, cooking, baking, being super judge-y, daydreaming about Halloween, the usual queer goth stuff.

68. can you draw?

Not according to some of my college art teachers but then again they couldn’t draw either so who knows.

69. do you play an instrument?

Nope.

70. what was the last concert you saw?

Sugar Ray. I got to hang out backstage and dance in the wings because I know the lead singer.

71. tea or coffee?

Tea.

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Neither.

73. do you want to get married?

I am.

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

I technically did but not to my husband’s name because we both picked a new name.

76. what color looks best on you?

Red, black, and green but only if they’re vibrant. Fuck pastels and muted colors.

77. do you miss anyone right now?

Everyone I would miss is in the same room as me.

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Open just a crack.

79. do you believe in ghosts?

Considering I have a broken door jam and a messed up ankle after being attacked by one I’d say yes.

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

Bigotry.

81. last person you called`

My mom to give her my food order for dinner.

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

It was called Dublin Mudslide and it was amazing but sadly it’s in the flavor graveyard now.

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

Neither.

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

Chocolate.

85. what shirt are you wearing?

Super old black tank with a faded union jack and a bunch of holes in it.

86. what is your phone background?

Jack Kline laying on his back being a total cutie!

87.are you outgoing or shy?

Shy until I feel comfortable. Then I never shut up.

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

Only certain people.

89. do you like your neighbors?

I just met the people who are moving in next door and they’re super nice but I hate everyone else in the neighborhood.

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

At night before bed.

91. have you ever been high?

I’m high right now.

92. have you ever been drunk?

Earlier today.

93. last thing you ate?

Half an impossible burger and some onion rings.

94. favorite lyrics right now

Don’t let me mean nothing or just pass away/ Just give me tomorrow, forever, today.

95. summer or winter?

Fall

96. day or night?

Night

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

Milk

98. favorite month?

October

99. what is your zodiac sign

Sagittarius

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

My friend, James.

0 notes

nirah10 · 6 years

Text

Posts regarding AIDS

After some of the recent discussions, my inbox suddenly got a lot of messages discussing HIV/AIDS, particularly the crisis in the 80′s. I decided to compile all the posts here rather than posting them all individually.

From Anon,

United states only statistics:

Since 1981, close to 779,000 people have died from AIDS in the US and approximately 15,929 people died in 2015 alone.

As of 2014, the number of new HIV cases in the US remained stable (not spiking or dropping) with approximately 50,000 Americans diagnosed each year.

Women made up 18% of new HIV infections in 2010, bringing the number of American females that are HIV-positive to 210,802.

Gay and bisexual men are the groups most severely affected by HIV in the US. They accounted for more than 62% of all new HIV infections in the US in 2014. Although this has dropped from 70 percent in 1998.

You don’t really think of HIV anymore, but 50 thousand new people still get it every year just in the U.S, and over sixty percent of that is gay men, with an even higher percentage amoung African American gay men. And 16 thousand people still die each year just in the US.

Just in the US, with medication and education about it.

In some countries, particularly African nations, the medication and treatment is not available and so, so, so many are still dying.

Thought I would mention these stats, as I saw Queer as Folk being mentioned, and that show is 20 years old, where so many young gay men were dying.

There was a period where gay communities were so isolated as people were not exactly sure how the disease was transmitted, only that is was highly common amount gay men. So because they didn’t know how you catch it, just that gay men were getting it more, the gay community had to fend for themselves for a while in the 1980’s. Got slightly better when dictors worked out how it was transmitted, but still a stigma.

Queer as Folk had characters dying from AIDS, it had characters living with HIV, ‘what’s your status’ was a pretty common question in the show, especially between new couples.

Shows don’t really talk about stuff like that anymore.

But gay men still get HIV at a higher rate, between 60 and 70 percent of new cases, and people still die every year. The medication doesn’t work for everyone.

I have a friend, he hasn’t even come out to his parents yet, but just found out he has HIV at age 19.

Asking about your HIV status is a pretty common part of dating in the gay scene, but the media doesn’t really cover it since Queer as Folk.

I guess it doesn’t really suit the sexless, family friendly gay men that television show, mainly because they don’t want to upset their conservative network bosses.

I get HIV tests every year. I use condoms everytime, but I had a friend who used condoms all the time and for it anyway, just takes a couple of slip ups.

So Jack was living in London in the 1970’s, 1980’s, 1990’s and early 2000’s. Was he aware of what was going on during that time period before it happened? Had the AIDS crisis and it’s impact on the time period and young gay men been taught in the 51st century? I’m guessing probably not.

Was Jack always safe during that time period?

Or would his body just burn the virus off if he same into contact with it? Would Jack have been able to passpit on even if he csught it?

Was Jack always safe with men? I know he wasn’t always safe with women, he got a lady pregnant.

Dear Anon,

Jack can’t get sick so I imagine that means that bacteria/viruses can’t survive in his body at all. Because of that, I suspect he doesn’t use condoms very often, especially because we know he has had children.

From Anon,

PSA: The importance of safe sex.

https://youtu.be/HvPaE6_hPTQ

I like the show Queer as Folk.

It didn’t shy away from hard subjects.

Michael (Brian’s best friend) falls in love with a man with HIV, and the show focuses on the difficulty of dating asna HIV positive man. Ben told Micheal on their first date, and Micheal was spooked away, but ended up asking Ben on another date later as he really liked him. Ben is the dude he married and had a foster kid with, the professor. Things aren’t always easy between a couple where one person is HIV positive, and the show handled the subject brilliantly. Glad Micheal dumped the boring jealous Doctor and ended up with the professor.

But a big problem amoung young gay men Justin’s age is the assumption that the crisis is over and that HIV won’t happen to them.

Justin is 18 here in 2000, while Brian is 30. So Brian lived through the AIDS crisis as a young gay man, while Justin hasn’t experienced it in the same way.

Do you think Brian’s reaction to Justin wanted Brian to fuck him without a condom was a little harsh?

Seeing they have been dating for over a year and Brian was clean and so wouldn’t have given Justin anything.

Do you think he was absuive towards Justin here? By calling him an idiot?

Or do you think it is understandable that Brian would take the issue a little more seriously because of the 11 years more experience he has had watching gay men die?

Is that an excuse to talk to someone like this though?

I DO NOT like Brian either.

I can’t believe Justin didn’t get sick of him until he was nearly 25. Seven crazy years.

While not liking how Brian handled this, I do think it is important. I finished high school in 2016, and even today you don’t really get anything about safe sex amoung men. It was all about teen pregnancy at my school.

Dear Anon,

I never think it’s okay when couples call each other names like that. It was a very serious and important point that he had to make, but it could have been done without calling him that. A lot of people call their partners names sometimes though so I guess everyone is different.

From nololmaybe,

https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/queer-as-folks-russell-t-davies-penning-new-gay-drama-about-uk-aids-crisis/#gs.tJFW9f4

Russell T Davis has a new show coming up, not released until next year I think, early 2019.

Big fan of RTD. Anyone else keen for this project?

From Anon,

First new article ever on AIDS;

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/was-first-major-news-article-hivaids-180963913/

Doctors, researchers and newspapers didn’t even have a name for it at first. It was referred to as a ‘gay cancer.’

It was called the gay cancer, even by medical professionals, as at the time they had no other term for it. The symptoms presented a bit like cancer, and gay men were the ones mostly getting it, so that is how the gay cancer name came about.

A huge problem within the 80’s is that it wasn’t known how it was caught.

Straight people didn’t even want to shake the hands of gay men, because they weren’t sure how it was spread.

Doctors were scared and many refused to work with the patients.

And while this was happening, more and more young gay men were getting it, as they didn’t know it came from unprotected sex.

My mum was a nurse in the 1980’s, and they were overrun with AIDS patient, some they had to put on the floor as therw were not enough beds. but she was telling me that it was only her and one other nurse handling them all, as the other nurses were terrified of going near the men, as they didn’t want to catch it.

Lesbians played a HUGE part in supporting the gay men in their community at the time. Because so many people were terrifying of catching it, sick gay men often had no where to go. Lesbian groups opened shelters, prepared meals, and tended and nursed the dying men.

The support of gay women during that time isn’t often touched on, but it was there.

Have you ever seen the movie Philadelphia with Tom Hanks?

https://youtu.be/cl4B9AU45P4

Or Holding the Man?

My two favourite movies that deal with the HIV crisis.

From Anon,

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/commentisfree/2016/apr/20/a-generation-of-artists-were-wiped-out-by-aids-and-we-barely-talk-about-it-robert-mapplethorpe

A generation of artists were wiped out by Aids and we barely talk about it

A new film about the photographer Robert Mapplethorpe is a shocking and brilliant reminder of the devastation HIV and Aids wreaked – and still does.

There are many shocking images in the brilliant new documentary Robert Mapplethorpe: Look at the Pictures, made by Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato. You probably know many of them already. Some are just seared into our culture and no longer disturb anyone. The cover of Horses with Patti Smith was as much of a statement as her music. His celebrity pics of Eurotrash and rich collectors, or actual celebs such as Debbie Harry and Bianca whispering in Mick Jagger’s ear remain fascinating. Their beauty blasted by his light into timelessness; his naked flowers, the sex organs of plants in all their glory. As he said himself, he could perfect a bowl of carnations just as well as “a fist up someone’s ass”. Then there was the documentation of his S&M activities and his fetishisation of the black body – so many of these images remain, to use the word du jour, “problematic”. Good. His life was an artwork. He would pick up guys, do drugs, have sex and then get down to work. He would photograph them.

When you see these pictures, you wonder why – with sexual imagery everywhere all the time – these pictures linger, hanging somewhere in a dark part of the collective memory. You keep looking because he kept seeing.

In this film, we have Mapplethorpe in his own words, not the rose-tinted memories that Smith gave us in Just Kids. He is openly a man of sociopathic ambition who wants sex, fame and money, and would use anyone to get them. That countercultural drive echoed what was going on in the 1980s so much that it would become indistinguishable from mainstream culture. When people talk about the end of the New York scene, that’s what they mean.

Just as he got what he wanted, he got sick. This “ruined Cupid”, this beautiful man, we see skeletal with Aids giving his final party.

“Whether it’s an orgy or a cocktail party I know how to do it.” He certainly did. It’s hard to see this vain man visibly dying. But he made his death part of his art. His 1988 self-portrait with a skull caneremains a masterpiece. I feel sorry for those who say photography is not an art. Bowie used his death in his final work too. No hiding away.

But what the film also brings home is the erasure of history – the fact that all those deaths from Aids have been somehow glossed over. Gay people can get married. Everything is lovely now!

Yet there was a time when you could walk around London or New York and see these gaunt faces, marked with sarcomas, and everyone you hung out with was dying. The official culture was in denial. Sometimes it was easier to be. I remember seeing Derek Jarman at a play. At that point he was blind. I didn’t want to see him like that. And then my friend was queer-bashed on the way home. Freddie Mercury died. Keith Haring died. Eazy- E from NWA died. Denholm Elliott died. Rock Hudson died. Fela Kuti died. And my uncle who wasn’t famous or even my actual uncle died. One of my friends lost seven people who were all under 30.

I was explaining this to my 25-year-old daughter. She understood what happened, but said, “I just can’t imagine it”. And somehow nor can I, but we lived through it. HIV, we say, is now no longer a death sentence. But, of course, it is in many parts of the world. South Africa has a 19% HIV rate. Russian is only just starting to admit the scale of its problem with an estimate of 1.5 million people with HIV. Neither homosexuality nor addiction can be spoken about in Putin’s Russia.

Mapplethorpe’s work was censored by US senator Jesse Helms who, like many Republicans, saw Aids as a punishment for homosexuality. Nancy and Ronald Reagan pretty much signed up to this line. Republicans banned needle exchanges. The Catholic church banned condoms. Mapplethorpe’s work is shot through the lens of his Catholic upbringing, the black mass and rituals of S&M – his composition, his invocation of the devil not as a metaphor, but as a living presence.

He was but one of a generation of artists, activists and athletes wiped out by Aids. Why don’t we speak about this anymore? Is it ancient history? Not for me, as it propelled a politics of queer solidarity arising from horrific circumstances.

The debate about safe spaces came to mind watching this film. Mapplethorpe’s entire oeuvre was a trigger warning. A bullwhip up his rectum, a penis lit like Mona Lisa. He died at 42.

When Paul O’Grady was asked in the Guardianabout the death of his friend Cilla Black, he said: “I’ve lost about everybody I know.” He talked about Aids wiping out all his friends, and about having to pretend to some of their families that they were dying of cancer as he nursed them. “People my age will never get over the horrors.”

Antiretrovirals may make us think it has all gone away. It hasn’t. Aids is killing people all over the world. The living death mask of Mapplethorpe disturbed me more than any pictures of fisting. Because I thought of all those we lost, and how we don’t really want to remember any more. Mapplethorpe’s unblinking need to document his life, his sex, his magic and his death reminded me why we must never forget. The battle is not won.

…..

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/commentisfree/2016/apr/20/a-generation-of-artists-were-wiped-out-by-aids-and-we-barely-talk-about-it-robert-mapplethorpe

This article raises some good points. Sex between males is still the most common way to get HIV- it is easier to get from just one contact that other forms of sex, such as vaginal sex. So gay men are at a higher risk.

HIV amoung gay men is a huge problem in counties where being gay is illegal, including Russia and many countries in Africa- since sex between men is illegal and people still do it, education about safe sex is often not available and the resources and tests aren’t carried out like in the west, therefore allowing the secret spread between men at a much higher rate, as no one is keeping an eye on it.

My Uncle lost eight of his close friends, all young men and is boyfriend to AIDS within two years, before he himself passed away after battling with it for four years.

Even in 2017, when I came out as gay, my father was terrified. Not because of homophobia, but because he had watched his brother lose his partner, his friends and then had to watch his own brother die in front of him. My dad became a Doctor after losing his brother to AIDS and spent years and years working with HIV patients, seeing them lose friends and lovers to the disease for years and years. My dad in the year since I came out (I’m 17) has made sure to stress that the crisis isn’t over, he still sees young men coming in with the virus- often from very religious backgrounds, from chruch schools and home schooling who were denied any media about HIV and who aren’t taught about gay health issues. Families often shelter their kids away from this stuff, and it is still a problem. I have a crazy amount of condoms from my dad, and have had so, so, so many lectures about safe sex and about making sure my gay friends and boyfriends are safe as well. We talk about sex and safety SO much more than we did before I came out. I don’t think it is homophobia, my dad is just terrified of losing me like he did his brother. He also saw his brother because he died care for and mourn the loss of his boyfriend, and doesn’t want me to have to go through any of that pain.

Gay men are at more risk of HIV, and I don’t think it helps anyone to cover that up. Some people think it is homophobic to focus on gay youth and HIV, more than straight youth and HIV, but I don’t think it is homophobic, it is just scientific, we are most likely to come into contact with it, and are more likely to get it as it is transferred much easier though anal sex that other forms of sex.

Some people don’t like to mention gay and AIDS in the same sentence, as they don’t want to offend the gay community by associating us with HIV. But I don’t think it is offensive. So many gay men have died from the virus z and that impact on the queer community shouldn’t be washed away or forgotten because it doesn’t suit a polite 21st century conversation.

From Anon,

Michael Penn watched his loved ones drop like flies during the 1980s at a time when homophobia and misunderstanding were rife.

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/aids-crisis-1980-eighties-remember-gay-man-hiv-positive-funerals-partners-disease-michael-penn-a7511671.html%3famp

When Michael Penn’s partner Brian Davis began rapidly losing weight in the mid-1980s, a friend of the couple suggested he ought to visit a doctor to check he didn’t have that mysterious killer virus. It’s probably nothing, but it’s better to be safe than sorry, they thought. Five months later, Brian was dead.

Before Brian passed away, he and Michael’s calendar was filling up with more funerals than normal for two men in their late thirties. In the space of half a decade, 20 of Michael’s friends died.

“Back in the day it was very worrying. I had many friends dropping like flies,” Michael, a retired east Londoner who now lives in Woodbridge, Suffolk, recalls to The Independent. “My partner and I lost friends and no one knew why the so many people were dying.”

When doctors diagnosed Brian with AIDs, a test confirmed that Michael was also HIV positive. Now 75, and one of the longest surviving people in the UK with HIV, Michael is a spokesperson for the Terrence Higgins Trust charity to raise awareness about the condition.

But in the 1980s, the virus was little understood. Scientists were yet to pin-point why swathes of otherwise healthy people were dying from rare conditions. Misinformation and homophobia were rife. AIDs was labelled the “gay plague”, suggesting that it was spread among men who had sex with men (MSM). For a period of six months in 1982, the condition was mistakenly labelled “Gay Related Immune Deficiency”. In total, 35 million people have died of AIDs worldwide since the 1980s, including millions in Africa.

“One chap we knew very into taking poppers. He died of a lung infection and doctors said it was caused by his overuse of poppers. That was in the early 1980s.” In hindsight, the lung infection was likely triggered by AIDs, says Michael.

I watched him deteriorate from a big strapping lad to a skeleton. - Penn

Michael believes that his partner, who was the assistant director of the British Diabetic Association, his that he was ill because he feared he would die.

“Brian and I got a suspicious that he had something wrong but he was scared to do something about it. I think he knew it was going to be a death sentence. We didn’t talk about it.”

As HIV can take several years to show symptoms, Michael’s blood counts were normal, and he was apprehensive about taking AZT – the first drug created to tread the virus. But Michael was convinced during a visit to Washington State.

“I was on holiday in US and I saw a doctor in Washington State for a sore throat. I told him I was HIV positive but that I was confused about taking AZT. He told me ‘my wife had a blood transfusion tainted with HIV and she’s lying in a hospital bed dying with AIDs. Take full advantage of what you can get’.”

Looking back, Michael recalls how the LGBT community pulled together during what was a terrifying time.

“I think the gay community changed the way they behaved in terms of sleeping around and practising safe sex. The club scene in London was pretty wild. It was a brilliant time.“

But Michael found little empathy from those outside of the community.

“People were ignorant. There was nothing known about the disease. No one knew how to treat it. The ordinary man in the street was very suspicious if he knew you were gay.”

“I remember after Brian died I went to local pub and the publican in my hearing said to someone ‘don’t let anyone drink out of that glass’. I was furious.”

However, attitudes are still blinkered. More recently, a member of his local community was spreading a rumour that Michael had AIDS, rather than treatable HIV.

In fact, doctors recently told him he is healthier than most other men his age. To control the virus, Michael take two tablets a day. "As long as you get tested and get the right treatment you carry on living like I have,” he stresses. "HIV is no longer a death sentence.“

…

Often both people in the relationship would test positive and would get sick together, sometimes dying together in the spam in a couple of weeks, or sometimes years. The straight community were scared away and often their was not enough help, many couoles, both dying, often only had each other for support and help. I read a case about a man nursing his lover in his sickness, only to then die himself a month later.

Was Jack active with men during this period? He would have witnessed it first hand if he was.

From Anna,

Sally’s story about her Uncle had been break down in tears.

Thank you for sharing his story Sally, it is important to keep these stories alive.

I have a personal story of a good frien of mine, who was the god father of my three kids.

Researchers think that HIV and AIDs was probably around in the 60’s and 70’s, because the virus can lie in your body for years and years before killing you, you can have it for five years and not know. In the 1980’s, it was very common for couples to both have HIV, often with no idea who gave who what.

The first recorded AIDS victim died in 1981, but we think it had been around for a lot longer than that and that people were dying before than. It wasn’t until 1893 that AIDS was really on the radar.

If you’ve been together for years, even if you are faithful, one of you could have it before than and not even know it and pass it on.

Guilt was a massive thing, seeing the person you love dying in front of you and thinking you might have given it to them.

I had a very good friend who had HIV, who watched his long term partner die from it. My friend, Josh, after his boyfriend died, became obessed with finding out where it had come from, driven by guilt, he and Matt had been together for five years before Matt died, and had been faithful, so they were both shocked when they both tested positive.

Wanting to ignore his own HIV, and caught up in the grief and pain of losing the love of his life, tracing it became his obsession.

He eventually traced it back to an ex he had from seven years ago, before he was with Matt. His Ex had died in 1980, before the first official AIDS death. At the time it has been disgnosed as an unknown disease he picked up overseas, doctors looking back said it was almost certainly a early AIDS victum, although some have been found even eairler- deaths even in the late 1970’s from unknown illnesses. It didn’t break out into a extreme amount of bodies until the 1980’d though, it couldn’t be ignored anymore.

This ex had passed away, and Josh was sure he got it from this ex, as Matt had only had a couple of boyfriend before Josh and Matt had tracked down them all and they were fine.

Josh was horrified that he passed it to Matt, he was sure it must have happened that way. He became convinced he must have. And he hated that Matt died without knowing, he wanted Matt to know, to be able to blame Josh, he thought Matt should have known. Josh blamed himself.

He loved Matt so much and believed if Matt never met him he would have been fine. We all tried to help and comfort him, but the guilt was destroying him.

Josh killed himself. I don’t know how long he would have lived with the HIV, unlike Matt, it hadn’t turned into AIDS yet. He could still be alive today. I think about the ‘what ifs all the time.’ even after it has been so long.

But he couldn’t live with himself thinking he was the reason his partner died.

Losing Matt, and then seeing how much Josh missed him and how he blames himself was one of the worst years of my life, i remember calling Josh the morning he hanged himself and knowing something was wrong when he didn’t pick up. I thought I was being paranoid. His mum rang me that night to tell me. It was beyond awful, I felt like I had been hit with a truck..

As a mother with adult children, i never, ever want my kids to have to go through something like that.

I was so heartbroken for Josh. He and Matt got together in the early 80’s, before AIDS and HIV were the agrred upon term, before they knew who the disease was transferred. It wasn’t Josh’s fault, he and Matt has no idea. Seeing him carry that guilt of feeling like he killed the man he loved was what I remember most from that time.

Seeing Sally’s story about her Uncle made me cry for an hour, it just brought back so many memories.

They were both so young, just babies themselves.

I think it is postive to talk about it though.

I think you are much younger than me, I’m guessing you can’t remember muchnof the paranoia and crisis from the 1990’s? It was pretty bad.

That is where a lot of those horrible 'God Hates Fags’ people come from. I loathe them so much.

Sorry if I have overhshared, Sally’s story just really moved me.

Dear Anna,

I’m so sorry that you went through such a terrible loss :( I was born in 1990 and we were extremely isolated/sheltered as kids, so I had no idea that AIDS was such a huge problem. I’m still catching up on my history. Thank you so much for sharing your story <3

From W,

https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/www.hivplusmag.com/opinion/guest-voices/2014/02/19/listen-hiv-still-gay-disease%3famp

So this article says it is ‘nor politically correct.’

I always get worried when I see people proudly say they not politically correct, normally that line comes from racists.

I remember the outrage over the billboards mentuoned in this story, a LGTB+ group uni student campus group campaigned to have them taken down and they were.

Do you think this article is homophobic? They are kinda calling our the modern LGTB+ groups aren’t they?

Dear W,

I don’t think I would call this homophobic. I think it’s the kind of thing that could hurt feelings and it’s definitely a controversial topic, but I wouldn’t say it’s homophobic. The author wasn’t suggesting that being gay was bad in any way, but simply pointing out that HIV/AIDS is disproportionately found in the gay community and that pretending it’s not isn’t helping anyone. It’s definitely controversial and debatable (a debate that I definitely don’t know enough to participate in) and I’m sure it offended many people, but that’s not the same thing as being homophobic.

From Anon,

http://www.h2rc.org/news-and-events/2017/6/13/losing-a-father-and-husband-to-aids-and-finding-him-again

So in 1990 this woman’s husband died of AIDS.

She was in shock. How could that happen?

Turns out her husband had been gay and sleeping with men on the side.

She herself took a HIV test, but was negative (even when you sexually active with someone with HIV, while it is still very risky, the chances of catching HIV from vaginal sex are much, much lower than from anal sex.)

Extract from article;

‘My second child was born two days after Father’s Day in 1990. Three weeks later, my husband collapsed, disoriented and feverish, in a restaurant. Soon, he was lying in a hospital bed with full-blown AIDS.

It’s hard for people who weren’t around then to imagine what AIDS used to look like. It was an epidemic that turned young men old; murdered beauty and promise. You knew someone at work who wouldn’t feel well, you wouldn’t see him for a few days, you would never see him again.

AIDS made men ghosts.

Before he got sick, John was an attentive lover to me, a doting dad to our 2-year-old, a gracious son-in-law to my aging parents and a successful journalist. He was home for dinner every night like clockwork. He was someone it was hard to believe could get AIDS.

In the months before our son was born, John had been experiencing a string of nagging illnesses, including intestinal distress and a persistent cough. The many doctors he consulted, because he was “straight,” married and overworked, did not even consider AIDS. They diagnosed stress.

After John’s AIDS diagnosis, I was rushed in for my own test. It remains the scariest thing I’ve ever done. Back then, it could mean a death sentence.

I asked him how he happened to contract a disease largely transmitted through gay sex. He told me he’d slept with men, which, at the time, surprised me. It was the beginning of a world falling apart.

My AIDS test came back negative: The kids and I had been spared. But nine months later, John died, leaving me asking, “What just happened?”

He left me crying out for him in the night. He left me with many painfully unresolved feelings and unanswered questions. John also left me with two small children, and I was determined to raise them free from the stigma of AIDS.

I resolved that I had to keep how he died a secret. No one could know. We never talked about him. I stashed away all his pictures. When the kids were old enough, I shared the truth with them, and emphasized why they couldn’t talk about it — or their father.’

So she didn’t catch HIV from her gay husband (possible but vaginal transmission is no way neat as high) I bet other women did catch it from their husband’s on the downlow, as lots of men were still in the closest back then.

This would have hurt a lot of people, 1990 was still homophobic so I doubt this was the only guy who was married and sleeping with men on the side.

I think it would have been very scary for this woman. She just had a baby, so that means if she did have HIV, her baby could have it too, at a time where HIV was a death sentence for a lot of people. She didn’t have it though.

I bet other wives and children died from gay men being in the closest, I think that is where a lot of the anger came from, and when the babies and women started dying, that is when people acted.

Do you think men like John are more selfish than straight men who cheat on their wives? Because they risk killing them? This was in 1990! AIDS had been around for ten years at this point and people knew how it was transmitted.

I’m really sad this guy was closeted, but by 1990 they knew how HIV was transmitted right? His wife said they were still having sex!

This is more selfish than other cheating right? She was negative, but she and the baby could have been infected.

Dear Anon,

I think anyone who cheats is being selfish for putting their partners at risk. Yes, there was a crisis during that time that may have made it riskier for gay men to spread it, but that definitely does not mean that straight men men or women haven’t also always been at risk. Cheating is awful for a lot of reasons, but putting someone’s health at risk is probably the worst. Every cheater, gay or straight, regardless of the year or of what’s going around, is just as selfish as any other for willingly putting someone they’re supposed to love at that kind of risk..

#hello friend

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ivehungtheskywithstars · 6 years

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To the men reading: You may already do some of these things, and others you may not be in the position to do. But a good place to start is by, at the very least, reading the list through—in its entirety. And remember: These apply all year, not just during the annual 24 hours dedicated to half of the planet’s population. 1. Before explaining something to a woman, ask yourself if she might already understand. She may know more about it than you do. 2. Related: Never, ever try to explain feminism to a woman. 3. Trans women are women. Repeat that until you perish. 4. RESPECT PEOPLE’S PRONOUNS. It’s not hard. 5. Remember that fat women exist and aren’t all trying to get thin. Treat them with respect. 6. In fact, just never comment on a woman's body. 7. Be kind to women in customer service positions. Tip them extra. (But not in a creepy way.) 8. Trust women. When they teach you something, don't feel the need to go and check for yourself. And especially do not Google it in front of them. 9. Don’t maintain a double standard for… anything, ever. 10. CLOSE YOUR LEGS ON PUBLIC TRANSIT, OH MY GOD. 11. Trying to describe a woman positively? Say she's “talented,” “clever,” or “funny.” Not “gorgeous,” “sweet,” or “cute.” 12. Examine your language when talking about women. Get rid of “irrational,” “dramatic,” “bossy,” and “badgering” immediately. 13. Don't think to yourself, I describe men like that too. A) You probably don't. B) If you do, it's to criticize them for acting like a woman. 14. Do you love “fiery” Latina women? “Strong” Black women? “Mysterious” Asian women? Stop. Pick up a book on decolonial feminism. Read. 15. Stop calling women “feisty.” We don't need a special lady word for “has an opinion." 16. Recognize women's credibility when you introduce them. “Donna is lovely” is much less useful than “Donna knows shitloads about architecture.” 17. Think about how you describe the young women in your family. Celebrate them for being funny and smart, not for being pretty and compliant. 18. Examine the way you talk about women you’re attracted to. Fat women, old women, queer, trans, and powerful women are not your “guilty crush.” 19. Learn to praise a woman without demonizing other women. “You're not like other girls” is not a compliment. I want to be like other girls. Other girls are awesome. 20. Share writing by women. Don't paraphrase their work in your own Facebook post to show us all how smart or woke you are. I guarantee the woman said it better in the first place. 21. Buy sanitary pads and tampons and donate them to a homeless shelter. Just do it. 22. How much of what you are watching/reading/listening to was made by women? Gender balance your bookcase. 23. Feeling proud of your balanced bookcase? Are there women of color there? Trans, queer, and disabled women? Poor women? Always make sure you’re being intersectional. 24. Don't buy media that demeans women’s experiences, valorizes violence against women, or excludes them entirely from a cast. It's not enough to oppose those things. You have to actively make them unmarketable. 25. Pay attention to stories with nuanced female characters. It will be interesting, I promise. 26. If you read stories to a child, swap the genders. 27. Watch women's sport. And just call it “sports.” 28. Withdraw your support from sports clubs, institutions, and companies that protect and employ rapists and abusers. 29. Stop raving about Woody Allen. I don't care if he shits gold. Find a non-accused-abuser to fanboy over. 30. It's General Leia, not princess. The Doctor has a companion, not an assistant. It's Doctor Bartlett, not Mrs Madame First Lady. 31. Cast women in parts written for men. We know how to rule kingdoms, go to war, be, not be, and wait for Godot. 32. Pay for porn. 33. Recognize that sex work is work. Be an advocate for and ally to sex workers without speaking for them. 34. Share political hot takes from women as well as men. They might not be as widely accessible, so look for them. 35. Understand that it was never “about ethics in journalism.” 36. Speak less in meetings today to make space for your women colleagues to share their thoughts. If you're leading the meeting, make sure women are being heard as much as men. 37. If a woman makes a good point, say, “That was a good point.” Don't repeat her point and take credit for it. 38. Promote women. Their leadership styles may be different than yours. That's probably a good thing. 39. Recruit women on the same salary as men. Even if they don't ask for it. 40. Open doors for women with caring responsibilities by offering flexible employment contracts. 41. If you meet a man and a woman at work, do not assume the man is the superior for literally no reason. 42. If you're wrongly assumed to be more experienced than a woman colleague, correct that person and pass the platform to the woman who knows more. 43. Make a round of tea for the office. 44. Wash it up. 45. If you find you're only interviewing men for a role, rewrite the job listing so that it’s more welcoming to women. 46. Make sure you have women on your interview panel. 47. Tell female colleagues what your salary is. 48. Make sure there's childcare at your events. 49. Don't schedule breakfast meetings during the school run. 50. If you manage a team, make sure that your employees know that you recognize period pain and cystitis as legitimate reasons for a sick day. 51. If you have a strict boss (or mom or teacher) who is a woman, she is not a “bitch.” Grow up. 52. Expect a woman to do the stuff that's in her job description. Not the other miscellaneous shit you don't know how to do yourself. 53. Refuse to speak on an all-male panel. 54. In a Q&A session, only put your hand up if you have A QUESTION. Others didn’t attend to listen to you. 55. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against trans or non-binary people, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for cis women, too.) 56. If you have friends or family members who use slurs or discriminate against women of other races, sit them down and explain why they must stop. (This goes for white women, too.) 57. If you see women with their hands up, put yours down. This can be taken as a metaphor for a lot of things. Think about it. 58. Raising a feminist daughter means she's going to disagree with you. And probably be right. Feel proud, not threatened. 59. Teach your sons to listen to girls, give them space, believe them, and elevate them. 60. Dads, buy your daughter tampons, make her hot water bottles, wash her bras. Show her that her body isn't something to be ashamed of. 61. But dads, do not try to iron her bras. This is a mistake you will only make once. 62. Examine how domestic labor is divided in your home. Who does the cleaning, the childcare, the organizing, the meal budgeting? Sons, this goes for you, too. 63. Learn how to do domestic tasks to a high standard. “I'd only do it wrong” is a bullshit excuse. 64. Never again comment on how long it takes a woman to get ready. WE ARE TRYING TO MEET THE RIDICULOUS STANDARDS OF A SYSTEM YOU BENEFIT FROM. 65. Challenge the patriarchs in your religious group when they enable the oppression of women. 66. Challenge the patriarchs in your secular movement when they enable the oppression of women. 67. Trust women's religious choices. Don't pretend to liberate them just so you can criticise their beliefs. 68. Examine who books your trips, arranges outings, organizes Christmas, buys birthday cards. Is it a woman? IS IT? 69. And if it is actually you, a man, don't even dare get in touch with me looking for your medal. 70. Take stock of the emotional labor you expect from women. Do you turn to the women around you for emotional support and give nothing in return? 71. Remember that loving your mom/sister/girlfriend is not the same as giving up your own privilege to progress equality for women. And that gender inequality extends beyond the women in your direct social group. 72. Don’t assume that all women are attracted to men. 73. Don’t assume that a woman in public wants to talk to you just because she’s in public. 74. If a woman tells you she was raped, assaulted, or abused, don't ask her for proof. Ask how you can support her. 75. If you see a friend or colleague being inappropriate to a woman, call him out. You will survive the awkwardness, I promise. 76. Repeat after me: Always. Hold. Men. Accountable. For. Their. Actions. 77. Do not walk too close to a woman late at night. That shit can be scary. 78. If you see a woman being followed or otherwise bothered by a stranger, stick around to make sure she’s safe. 79. This should go without saying: Do not yell unsolicited “compliments” at women on the street. Or anywhere. 80. If you are a queer man, recognize that your sexuality doesn’t exclude you from potential misogyny. 81. If you are a queer man, recognize that your queer women or non-binary friends may not feel comfortable in a male-dominated space, even if it’s dominated by queer men. 82. Be happy to have women friends without needing them to want to sleep with you. The “friend zone” is not a thing. We do not owe you sex. 83. Remember that you can lack consent in situations not involving sex—such as when pursuing uninterested women or forcing a hug on a colleague. 84. Champion sex positive women but don't expect them to have sex with you. 85. Trust a woman to know her own body. If she says she won't enjoy part of your sexual repertoire, do not try to convince her otherwise. 86. Be sensitive to nonverbal cues from women, especially around sex. We’re not just being awkward for no reason. (You read “Cat Person,” didn’t you?) 87. It is not cute to try to persuade a woman to have sex with you. EVER. AT ALL. Go home. 88. Same goes for pressuring women to have sex without a condom. Go. Home. And masturbate. 89. Accidentally impregnated a women who doesn't want a kid? Abortions cost money. Pay for half of it. 90. Accidentally came inside a woman without protection? Plan B is expensive. Pay for all of it. 91. Get STD tested. Regularly. Without having to be asked. 92. Examine your opinion on abortion. Then put it in a box. Because, honestly, it's completely irrelevant. 93. Understand that disabled women are whole, sexual human beings. Listen to and respect them. 94. Understand that not all women have periods or vaginas. 95. Believe women's pain. Periods hurt. Endometriosis is real. Polycystic ovaries, vaginal pain, cystitis. These things are real. Hysteria isn’t. 96. If a woman accidentally bleeds on you, try your absolute best to just keep your shit together. 97. Lobby your elected officials to implement high quality sex education in schools. 98. Uplift young Black and Indigenous girls at every possible opportunity. No excuses. 99. Do not ever assume you know what it’s like. 100. Mainly, just listen to women. Listen to us and believe us. It’s the only place to start if you actually want all women to have a “Happy International Women’s Day.”

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