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mcl38 · 4 months

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why did i think u were british this whole time. i just now noticed the romanian and i have been following u for an embarrassingly long time. omg i'm so sorry.

i was going to ask u if the UK is really this puritanical bc like. i was raised by some right-wingers who taught me that if i even danced with someone i was not married to, i would spend eternity burning in hell, and i still couldn't rlly bring myself to care abt a guy in his mid-20s making sex jokes enough to be offended abt it. but i mean u are not british so that doesn't matter now.

this also begs the question why are ppl getting moral/life advice from multimillionaires. like if lando gets a STD, he just goes and gets treatment. if an american gets a STD, they go bankrupt. u rlly have to put how promiscuous u can be in perspective of ur circumstances unless u want gangrenous genitals from chlamydia. also like if ur george russell or lance stroll or max verstappen or— and u physically harm someone, all u have to do is issue an apology. if ur quite literally a normal person, ur going to jail for that shit like u cannot behave like a multimillionaire under any circumstances unless u are also a multimillionaire bc one of three things will happen: 1) jail, 2) bankruptcy, 3) the end.

sorry for making u read my incoherent thoughts again but i know u appreciate a good landogate. i just don't really get this one. like wow local man in his twenties cracks nsfw jokes w his friends and experiences horniness. did these people never become traumatized by omegle. bc this isn't abnormal behavior for a man in his 20s spotted in the wild online. it's actually quite tame.

hi anon! so like first off ur not entirely wrong abt the british thing - i am romanian but ive been living in the uk for like 4 years now, u mightve seen a reference to that and assumed i was english. but bc ive been living there for a while i can quite confidently say that no, english people are not generally puritanical at all, much less than in america anyways. maybe theres more value put on decorum and politeness but i generally associate religiously-fuelled prudishness with american protestantism lmao. anyways

my thing is ive just come back from a vacation where i had no roaming so i genuinely have no idea whether ive missed smth major lmao. from what i could tell the thing ur talking abt is lando making dirty jokes on stream and ppl allegedly getting upset at that (??) which unless thats all been happening on twitter and i just havent seen it bc i deleted the app (god bless) (likely), the whole 'drama' seems to stem from one clickbait article by a clickbait sports news publication that seems to b based in india rather than the uk. was this abt the way landos (british) friends responded to him on stream? bc from what i could tell they were also participating in the moaning and calling themselves daddy activities. otherwise like what predominantly british public did u see upset? its quite odd as a thing to happen

not saying this isnt a pattern w lando tho - back in 2020 idk if u were around but if u were, u should rmbr how dire the situation was. basically anyone who'd make a sex joke around lando was essentially corrupting god's most darlingest little baby boy, how dare they. theres a certain amount of infantilisation around lando that thank god isnt happening as much anymore but maybe its reared its ugly head again. or, if ppl r getting mad at him for Corrupting His Audience (if theyre getting mad at all - again ive only seen ppl saying it was totally fine and funny), then this just represents his full flip into the whore part of the madonna whore dichotomy. the same reason miley cyrus twerking at the 2013 vmas wouldve been so much more scandalous than another female singer that hadnt previously had a child-friendly teen star image.

i dont rly know how to address the whole life advice paragraph - i rly dont think lando talking abt a girl character in fortnite shooting cream out of her palms or propellers or smth is exactly life advice. lando specifically has quite a complicated relationship w his position as a role model and he often worries abt the 'advice' he gives ppl - smth thats also like, true, hes a v sheltered 23 year old who lacks a lot of normal life experiences bc his professional career basically started around age 7. idrk what to say abt the whole std thing bc like not only have i not heard lando talk actual details abt his potential promiscuity beyond a couple vague jokes, but also bc ive never had to think abt going into debt over chlamydia doamne pazeste. also like idk if i push someone nothing happens but if max verstappen does it on an international broadcast he has to do community service for it so 🤷🏻‍♀️ u win some u lose some. not rly sure of the point u wanted to make if im totally frank lol

tldr like yeah f1 drivers r mainly irresponsible athletes in an extreme sport and u shouldnt model ur life after them. but also op ur life sounds terrifying like 'jail / bankrupcy / the end' sounds like either the way US capitalism works (big up the prison industrial complex) or oscar wilde's new years resolutions in january 1895 lmao

#wondering abt 'again'? is this a recurring visitor #if so welcome back #r u the esteban / pierre anons from a couple days ago #or are you the oscar stan anon come back from the war?? if so missed u #anon #ask #lando #(vaguely)

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wiftos · 2 years

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my meow meows

#mcc #solidaritygaming #smallishbeans #love them fr fr #happy face with tear #3rd life #last life #they r married not clickbait

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haunted-xander · 2 years

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She is like actually insane i LOVE HER

New wife dropped yall!!!!!!!!

#licorice cookie also came home but i didnt get a sc of it >:(#hes a loser anyway (affectionate)#first latte now twizzly gummy #i keep getting wives yall #i have TWO HANDS AND A BIG HEART #we r married (real) (not clickbait)#twizzly gummy cookie #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #crk #xander rambles

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schoolbookdepository · 2 years

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HAPPY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY @pinkmoondoll4shihtzu 💚💖 these past 2 years have been some of the years of my life. sure they’re what they’ve been, up and down, but the ups have been the best i’ve had and the downs i’ve always had u there to let me know it’s going to be ok. the moments we’ve made have been the most important and valuable moments of my life. i’m so very grateful 4 all the things you’ve taught me, all the stories you’ve shared, all your advice, your cosmic knowledge, your favorite music, your hatred and insults for things that suck. your bubbly burning bigbooty bimbofied energy and love for ur friends warms my heart in a very special way. u are a real life anime girl w the passion of a thousand magical girls. i love ur autism obsessions, the way you pronounce against, ur favorite snacks, ur writing, ur art, ur everything. all of it is something i hold near to me and all i want is to just to listen to u it all, and remember all of it. the way you listen to me and my silly lil factoids and tales makes me feel so understood. you’ve been here for me in ways i can’t put into words. i’ll list some of my favorite things i’ve experienced with u: both of the trips to vancouver. LAKE DAY!!! the summer nights spent making kandi and listening to you talk about astrology and making me realise it’s real. going to madrid for christmas and seeing a ufo. the roadtrip to white sands with maheyo. watching all of south park in like a week. watching u become the best mother to piepie i could ask for and talking to him. watching nadia for your first time, especially the one day it was raining and we were eating tonkotsu. going to the cliff dwellings with my parents. the soviet science fair shows. the raves. walking in the snow and listening to the route 211 music. hearing about new conspiracies from u. showing u how to play guitar. recording us being cute w my camcorder for ur 27th birthday. the time we took molly with sarah on a whim and it felt like i was a kid again (not the aftermath tho LOL). giving u sloppy while u play sonic adventure 2. watching u raise ur chao garden. (RIP ;_;) bryan’s birthday. vlogging at savers n showing our haul. sitting in bed while u work on ur neocities as its snowing outside. doing ketamine and learning to love bladee with u. finding fred spencer’s youtube. getting catcalled and walking to burrito spot every day. making stickers with u. the moment we found out that you were now legally an american. complaining with u (never gets old). going to the plant store with you and hearing all your flower shop lady knowledge. cooming inside u. watching you play minecraft and freaking out n screaming. going tagging with you. going to the store to get u ur little snacks. watching chills videos and other clickbait with u, and lastly walking into our room to find u rolling on the floor laughing and saying wamart aebeb pie while u were mushroom’d out. i still can’t believe that god sent me an angel like urself that loves me the way u do, in the way we met. you make me want to be a better me, to create things everyday, to cherish the little things, to wake up early, and to take care of u until ur a raisin. as long as i have you i know things r gonna be okay. i love you with every cell in my body and soul, ella kimberly jackson. ur my schizo shihtzu, my libra librarian virgo vixen scorpioid succubus cosmic cutiepie. ur my mallwhore, my ningen, my one of a kind britbong bimbo fembladee frosslass gyaru gringa seapunk snowfall autism angel cryptid gf. i can’t wait to go swimming w u today n make another memory like all these that i hold so dear. thank you for marrying me. 💖💚💖💚shika+usagi;yui+azu;L+yagami;nadia+jean;mado+homu;leafeon+glaceon 222ever & everrrr.

#ella #💚💖#i love u

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starglitterz · 3 years

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omg i saw @yanbub do this so i wanted to try too HAHA

LETS GOOOOO me & xiao confirmed dating **very real** *not clickbait*

yes me and childe r best friends who kiss each other occasionally, is there a problem?

no to the distance part 🙄, im literally kissing albedo rn as we speak

KAZUHAAAA i swear this mf better come home 😐 we can go sailing around rich neighbourhoods in the crux LMFAOOO

hu tao my bby pls marry me ♡

BENNETT BENNETT BENNETT THE LOML (speaking of bennett what happened to the bennett anon 🤨⁉️) /lh

HELP VENTI WHY 💔💔💔 AND KEQING IS BELOW 50% 😣😣😣 sobs

website link !

#✨ — quill screaming !#everything in this post is /j it literally has no point to it #its just funny LOL #if anybody wants lmk & ill add the website link here :)#ok now ill acc sleep pls im so sleepy #i spelled website as weebsite KDKAKDK

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yaeluvz · 2 years

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hello everyone, since im the (self proclaimed, delusional) yn anon here. I CAN CONFIRM WONYO AND YN (me/us or w/e🤥🤥) MARRIED‼️ NOT CLICKBAIT #100%TRUE U MIGHT ASK HOW DO I KNOW? WELL, I FOME FROM THE FUTURE‼️ THATS RIGHT EVERYONE, YNWON MARRIED, WONYO AND I, I MEAN WONYO AND YN R CUFFED AND NOW HAVE 2 DOGS AND R VERY HAPPY AND MARRIED🗣 DID I MENTION MARRIED? YEAH THATS RIGHT, THE WEDDING WAS GREAT ILL INVITE YOU ALL SOON ENOUGH😍😍😍‼️‼️‼️ ps this is 100% true, not delusions, the truth😎😎

IM IN LITERAL TEARS 😭😭😭

so true everyone ynwon got married and they're living together very happy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

cant wait for the invitations to the wedding ceremony i'm sure the wedding will be amazing 🙏 yn will probably make a shrek cake for her wedding ngl 😭

#run2uasks #yn anon❣️

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sana-is-ms-mrty · 2 years

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so.. hey(?)

this is my blog and i'm sana 😃

so this post is about myself 🙃

lmao i know i'm awkward 😔😬 no need to point out 😸

the world's most biggest introvert 😃

my lomls are markle sparkle, lonjeon shi, tyong bubu and uri takoyaki prince 💞

#ADMINS for life 💛💓 nd u don't need to know who they are 😌☺️

MIRC²B are my second lomls 🥰😍 but I'll tell abt them 😊

m - marshmallow, my army bestie 💞 nd she is married to namjoon 🙈💛

i - icy, my another army bestie. also she is married to taehyung lol 😏😌

r - red velvet, my souly aka girl friend 💛🥰 the laughing machine 😂

c¹ - cupcake aka me 🧁💚 and i have like, what, 5 hubbies lmao 😆

c² - cappuccino, formerly know as sugar pie plum cake 💓✨, she has kid lol

b - butterscotch aka my hubby and souly 💞 sweetest silent killer u can ever see lol 😊💛

also i have a puppy named bambi ❤️ and he is married to daegal lmao 😆 so chenle is like related to me....? 😬

idk about y'all but jaehyun is a king nd that's on periodt 😌🔥✨

hwasa an ryujin are queens 💅🔥

iu my cute angel 😇😍

currently listening to : GOT Step Back

skksksj that's a bop 😩🤌 i love it sooo much! 💓

I Stan:

EXO 💛

NCT 💚

SuperM 🧡

RV 💜

SuJu 💙

SHINee 🤍

BoA 🤎

GG 🖤

Seventeen ❤️

ITZY 💛

Twice 💚

iKON 🧡

BlackPink 💜

IU 💙

MamaMoo 🤍

(G)I-DLE 🤎

æspa 🖤

LOONA ❤️

Ateez 💚

Stray Kids 💛 etc.

multistan life sure is hard 😶🤥

legends say:

if you follow me, you'll find a johnny suh in ur bedroom at 3am!!! (not a clickbait)

that's it ig(?)

so😎follow❣️me🗣️right🎉now💃

#about myself #sana-is-ms-rmty

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ask-the-spider-widow · 4 years

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To kick off this blog let’s bring in some memes

MJ: People often look at me and Poppy and think that I’m the top

MJ: But they haven’t seen Poppy lift her shirt to wipe her face and show off her abs

MJ: But I have

MJ: I have

-🕷🕸-

J.J: You know what’s a really nifty letter? J

Poppy: As in Joker?

J.J: YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE-

-🕷🕸-

Normie: Hey y’all Poppy’s in trouble rn so keep her in your prayers

Betty: Is she okay?! Who’s attacking her?!

Normie: Me

Normie: BITCH DIDNT WASH THE DISHES EVEN THOUGH ITS H E R W E E K

-🕷🕸-

Bonus

Peter: You haven’t been in your room for five months what are you doing here

Poppy: I forgot to do the dishes

Peter: Stay as long as you like but I’m not getting you food

-🕷🕸-

Poppy, while sobbing: Well today was a great day. Can’t wait for tomorrow

-🕷🕸-

All of Poppy’s villains: 13-year-olds are the meanest people in the world! They’ll insult you but in an ACCURATE way! Like I would be minding my own business causing mayhem when all the sudden I hear

Poppy: Hahaha! Hahaha! Look at that villain they got no actual lair and have to rely on abandon warehouses!

Villains: And I’m like “NO THAT’S WHAT IM SENSITIVE ABOUT!!”

-🕷🕸-

Bonus

Normie: Poppy you can’t talk we live in a crap apartment and steal failed experiments from Oscorps

Poppy: But at least my laptop looks sick

-🕷🕸-

At a gala

Poppy, sliding up to Normie: Want a frog

Normie: ...What

Poppy: I snuck in like ten frogs and have been handing them out to people. I got four left want one

Normie:

Normie: Fuck yeah I want a frog

-🕷🕸-

Poppy: Why did I become a vigilante?

Poppy: Something bad really happened to me

Poppy: So I decided to get bigger badder things to happen to me so I would forget about that one!

No she is not okay

-🕷🕸-

Normie: WHY WONT YOU JUST GO TO THERAPY?!

Poppy: I WILL WHEN YOU DO!!

Normie: ARRRGGHHH!!!!

You can swap any of the Widow’s Web in and it will still work

-🕷🕸-

Flash, on the internet: I ain’t afraid of nobody!

Betty: Your name is Eugene “Flash” Thompson you go to Mission Academy you live on 486 Boluvard in Manhattan....

Flash: What the fuck

Flash: WHAT THE FUCK PLEASE TAKE THAT DOWN

-🕷🕸-

MJ: I’m a lesbian

Flash: Okay cool I respect your sexuality

MJ, pulling out Poppy: This is my girlfriend

Flash:

Flash: I said I respect your sexuality not your type

-🕷🕸-

Venom: Face it Widow! There is nothing you can do! You’re DOOMED!

Widow: I’ll call your daughter

Venom: Wait no-

-🕷🕸-

Bonus

Betty, spraying Venom: Bad dad! I’ll tell mom you’re being mean to my friends!

Venom: WAIT NO IM SORRY-

-🕷🕸-

At a gala

Some rich dude: So when will you two get married

Normie and Poppy: *interally, eternally, screaming*

-🕷🕸-

Normie: Hand me your hairdryer!

Betty: What hairdryer?

Normie: Don’t you guys carry hairdryers in your purses?

MJ: Have you ever met a human woman

Normie, calling Poppy: Hey do you carry a hairdryer in your purse?

Poppy: Of course! I’m not an animal

-🕷🕸-

Norman: I want my grandson to grow up around the FINEST people so he won’t turn out a waste like his father!

Normie: This is my best friend Poppy

Poppy: Hi

Norman: Okay I’ll make an exception for her because she looks Very Polite

(He later found out he was very wrong)

-🕷🕸-

Normie: We’re in the tabloids again

Poppy: Was I caught sucking your dick?

Normie: No, Jessie Hathaway was, and you’re apperently upset over it

Poppy: Yeah I am! Why would you choose Jessie Hathaway over me!

-🕷🕸-

Poppy: Okay you’re going to need to make a vid explaining why you’re on Widow’s side all of the sudden

J.J: I gotchu

Also J.J: WIDOW SAVED MY LIFE AND MADE OUT WITH ME (NOT CLICKBAIT!!)

-🕷🕸-

Normie: You forgot J.J is a shitposter

Poppy, who is Very Tired: I forgot J.J is a shitposter

-🕷🕸-

Poppy: Looks like she could kill you but is a cinnamon roll

J.J: Looks like a cinnamon roll and is a cinnamon roll

Betty: Looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill you

MJ: Looks like she could kill you and could kill you

Normie: perfect cinnamon roll, too pure for this world

#into the spider verse #spidersona #spider oc #spiderverse #poppy lopez #spiderposts #normie osborn #michelle jones #betty brock #james jonah johnson #flash thompson #peter lopez #norman osborn #venom #eddie brock #first spider memes woohoo!

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mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker · 6 years

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...let’s do this...

“Dan Slott’s decade-long tenure on writing Spider-Man recently came to an end, swapping the prolific writer out with former Captain America/Secret Empire scribe Nick Spencer. The first issue of his and artist Ryan Ottley’s much hyped run, Amazing Spider-Man #1, took Peter Parker back to the basics. The hero has lost Parker Industries, is under investigation for academic fraud, was fired from the Daily Bugle, and other New York heroes hate him because they think he’s buddy-buddy with Kingpin of Crime turned New York mayor, Wilson Fisk.”

First of all Peter lost Parker Industries during Slott’s run so i dunno why this ‘article’ is framing things as though that is a development from Spencer’s run.

Second of all heroes hate Spidey because Kingpin made it look as though they were friends, its not as though Spider-Man really was friend with Fisk as this article frames it.

“The issue ends with the two kissing and Peter declaring that this is “their story,” emphatically saying what the suspicions have been for some time: the new run of Amazing Spider-Man will begin to undue the events of the controversial “One More” and “Brand New Day” storylines that Slott became infamous for, which saw Mephisto destroy Peter and MJ’s marriage in exchange for bringing Aunt May back to life.”

*pinches bridge of nose* ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

Okay so...Dan Slott WASN’T RESPONSIBLE FOR OMD OR BND!

M**********r Wikipedia could have told you that! HOW?! HOW do you not know that Joe Quesada wrote OMD!

HOW do you not know this piece of comic book osmosis that everyone knows! My God!

Furthermore aunt May didn’t effing die in OMD. That was literally the point. They mad ethe deal to SAVE her from death. Not undo it!

I know people who’ve not even read the story and THEY know that!

Also Dan Slott became infamous but it had nada to do with OMD but other stuff.

Also also the story hasn’t shown or promised to undo anything yet but clickbait gotta clickbait.

Also, also, also UNDO ISN’T SPELT THAT WAY!

Holy fuck how do you write for the front page of the biggest comic book news site, get paid for it and not spell check shit?!

“And like those now infamous wedding issues for Batman and X-Men, the move to bring Peter and MJ back together doesn’t really work. There are couples who’ve gotten back together after a time apart, but the issue itself piles so much misfortune on Peter’s doorstep it feels like Peter should be looking into a therapist or anxiety medicine instead of making out with his ex.”

-Is what someone who’s never read Spider-Man would say.

Like Peter went though a lot of bad stuff in ASM volume 5 #1 but:

a) Asshole please, this is nowhere near the worst most stressful or therepy worthy shit Peter has lived through. Supporting his sickly recently widowed mother figure financially whilst going to school, getting bullied, having a crappy boss, dealing with an unreasonable girlfriend and ALSO fighting crime in a city that feared and hated him for no reason. THAT is anxiety and that is also known as the start of Spider-Man’s entire story you fucking hacks!

b) So when you’ve had an awful day and everything has fallen apart getting TLC from someone you deeply love and who deeply loves you...doesn’t make sense. Okay sure.

c) Justin Carter where the fuck did you learn how to read subtext? Shit, nevermind the subtext, where did you learn to read the text bro! The story spells it out for you. Peter’s life is bad, he keeps making the same mistakes again, he wants things to change to be better. So he steps up to the plate and puts the effort in to MAKE it better, specifically by chasing the thing he wants most, the thing he’s yearned for and literally dreamed about (as CLEARLY SHOWN on the first effing pages!). He reunited with the love of his life. For the fuck is that something that DOESN’T work!

d) Exempting the X-Men wedding the Batman wedding issue in my observation totally worked from a characterization pov even if it wasn’t the result fans wanted to deserved.

“Peter and MJ Are A coulee Again! And It's The Wrong Move...”

It isn’t the wrong move and I see no reason why anyone should take this article’s claims that is is seriously when it can’t even spell the word couple!

“Like all relationships, the ones between superheroes and their non-powered partners are full of drama. In the decade since their split, Peter and MJ had many relationships that provided what neither could offer the other at the time. MJ got to date men who were reliable and had the stability that Peter couldn’t entirely provide, and Peter was with those who were more accustomed to or in the line of superheroic work as he.”

Go fuck yourself CBR seriously.

Let’s start with Peter. What in the flying fuck is this shallow, Celebrity gossip rag, juvenile, simplistic, unlearned horseshit of a mentality towards superhero relationships over the last several years that has the absolute biggest hard on ever for the idea that heroes have to date heroes.

Especially Spider-Man.

Whenever the mere idea of Spider-Man dating another hero crops up that is literally the ONLY thing people talk about.

They have so much in common because they are both heroes.

Well shit...why doesn’t he date literally any of the women in the multiple Avengers teams he was a member of. No Carol Danvers doesn’t count, it was one date.

I’ll tell you why.

Because if any of these jackasses knew what the fuck they were talking about with Spider-Man’s character, both in terms of who he is as a person and the entire concept behind him, they’d know that civilian women are both his preference and more in line with the idea of him as a hero who could be you.

YOU in the real world do not date goddam superheroes. You date normal people. Therefore Spider-Man also dates normal people.

‘But what about Black Cat’, I hear you cry out.

Yeah Felicia let’s talk about her for a second shall we.

Felicia, the cat burglar costumed criminal. The one who tried to trick her boyfriend into a life of crime literally the issue after they hooked up.

Felicia, the woman who recoiled upon seeing Spider-Man’s real face.

Felicia the woman who lied and went behind Spider-Man’s back to get super powers that literally caused him cosmic bad luck even after they broke up.

Felicia, the woman who jeapodized Peter’s secret identity multiple times.

Felicia, the woman who literally got in bed with a mercenary (in every sense of the word) in order to frame Spider-Man for murder by seducing him.

Felicia the one and only girlfriend Peter had before he got married who was a fellow costumed person...and she was literally named after something that brings you bad luck.

It’s ALMOST like it was doomed to fail from the start.

It’s ALMOST like it was intended that way.

It’s ALMOST like it was a great big subtextual commentary about how Spider-Man is better off with normal non-costumed women.

Oh...but if only there was some kind of page or panel clearly spelling out the idea that Felicia the costumed person was wrong for Spider-Man but someone else, someone normal, someone rooted in the real world with all it’s relatable problems and activities, was right for him...

...if only...

And if only the comic book run most guilty of shipping Spider-Man with a costumed person post-OMD which was initiated by a hack writer had itself a page or panel spelling out that Spider-Man dating costumed people because they ‘get’ his lifestyle more doesn’t mean jack shit, showcasing even they recognize it to be a stupid shortsighted attitude to Spider shipping.

IF.ONLY!

Let’s move onto Mary Jane.

MJ dated exactly 2 men during the decade after OMD. Bobbi Carr and Pedro the fireman who was literally a poc fireman version of Peter.

Reliable and stable huh?

Tell me how exactly is the life of a rising A-list movie star ‘reliable’ or ‘stable’...even aside from the fact that he was a drug addict?

Tell me how exactly is the life of a firefighter whom would be rushing off whilst on duty and risking his life A LOT be stable for poor Mary Jane’s anxieties over his safety?

What? Reliable is steady job+regular hours?

That’s what Peter couldn’t provide so this reconciliation is bad?

...Didn’t Mary jane literally WORK for goddam Tony Stark, the globe/galaxy trotting superhero Avenger leader who went into a coma then disappeared?????????

And she took that job by effing choice? AFTER breaking up with Pedro the fireman?

How much ‘reliable stability’ does she really want or need?

Because assholes MJ dated and was married to Spider-Man for fucking years. And she liked it. Are we just IGNORING that?

Like assholes that wasn’t even the thing that they broke up over. MJ didn’t break up with Spider-Man in OMIT because he was unreliable and didn’t provide stability. She accepted that. She accepted that shit even in the nuclear levels OOC flashback sequences to their aborted wedding.

She broke up with him because it endangered her family. THAT was the rationale. THEN she got back with him in Superior. THEN she broke up with him at the end because she wanted normalcy but then she literally said pages later that she’ll never get it because she lived in NYC and because guys like the Goblin wouldn’t care if she was dating Peter or not. THEN she threw away normalcy by working for Iron Man FFS. THEN in Red Goblin she claimed she couldn’t be with him because I don’t even know, some bullshit about feeling guilty that she was keeping him away from being a hero.

So the stable reliability argument holds no goddam water to her pre or post OMD characterizations.

Basically the above paragraph boils down to:

“Peter and MJ getting back together is bad because they dated people who could offer them the stuff that neither could offer the other, even though there is nothing indicating either wanted that stuff in the first place.”

“Not all of these relationships were perfect, but they were signs of real change, something that isn’t typically allowed in big two superhero comics, or at least, not in any lasting, meaningful way.”

No they weren’t. They were signs of Marvel putting the characters on rotation because they axed the ACTUAL meaningful change that was the pair getting married and committing to a longterm permanent relationship that lasted 20 years.

Hence why literally none of these relationships had ANY lasting impact upon either character.

MJ was unchanged by Bobbi Carr dating her beyond it prompting her to return to NYC, i.e. return to her old status quo.

Peter was unchanged by Carlie Cooper, Liaeean Teaaen, Mockingbird and Silk. I mean my God this article bangs on about how Mockingbird was so important because she provided something Peter otherwise couldn’t get from MJ but the seires literally handwaves away their relationship. They don’t even get a major break up scene or issue. It’s just. “We broke up, brief flashback. That was it.”

“The last couple of times that Peter and MJ broke off their romantic relationship — after that one time Doc Ock jacked Peter’s body for over a year — it was because she didn’t want his, frankly, ridiculous life as a superhero to define hers.”

The article says the last couple of times they broke it off then lists one example because what is counting.

And as I said that was NOT the reason they broke up after superior. Hell they didn’t even really break up that time. Otto broke up with MJ in Superior ‘2, then she called him up to break up with him many issues later then she went to Peter when he got his body back to give a break up speech to someone she wasn’t even dating!

“More, she didn’t want to keep risking the danger the comes from being close to a superhero.”

And then she went to work for an even more famous superhero who didn’t even have a secret identity and who have much more powerful enemies many of whom would’ve targeted him even if they didn’t know he was Iron Man..before re-entering his friendship group in from Power Play onwards thus rendering her entire rationale for breaking away moot....not that it made any sense to begin with.

“If anything, his life has become even more crazy since their split, since his teacher is the Lizard and he’s a roommate with Boomerang.”

The Lizard was his teacher in the silver and bronze age too you goddam hacks and having a villain for a roommate is NOT crazier than your body being stolen by a villain for God’s sake.

“Both of those situations are going to end pretty badly, and that’s coming just before the “Spidergeddon” event that’ll bring together the Spider-heroes of the multiverse yet again in a fight for survival against evil vampires.”

I didn’t know CBR could see the future and also apparently knows that despite all current evidence to the contrary that Spencer would be doing a tie-into Spider-Geddon.

“Fans of Peter and Mary Jane as a couple aren’t exactly hard up for a comic about their exploits. The Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows series may be set in a new universe, but it’s been quietly operating as a book for the two to be happy together. Not only do they have a daughter in that universe by way of Annie Parker, the three of them are a crimefighting family where Annie is Spiderling, and MJ gained powers of her own and became Spinneret. ”

STFU CBR.

a) EVERYONE knew RYV had a limited shelf life

b) RYV is about Peter and MJ are a superhero family, which is a cool concept but also not what a lot, probably even most Spider-Marriage fans want to see. They want to see Spider-Man with a non-powered MJ in the main 616 universe because that is the original real versions of the characters and that dynamic is innate to the inherent concept of Spider-Man as a relatively realistic guy

c) RYV places a lot of focus upon Annie, probably more than on Peter or MJ, especially after the time skip

d) NOBODY who loved RYV was going to simply accept it as a suitable substitute for 616 Spider-Man and MJ not being together. Because as much as we love RYV Peter and MJ those are not THE characters. The specifics of each version of each character carry different emotional investments for the readers. And Marvel knows this hence why they didn’t permanently replace the 616 Spider-Man with Miles Morales, just the other Peter Parker Spider-Man who sold less and had been around for a mere 10 years. It is also the reason why Spider Marriage fans didn’t just say “Oh well at least I still have Peter and MJ in USM and Spider-Girl’ after OMD

“Even if Renew ends and is considered no longer needed, it’s provided the most logical endgame with the best outcome one could think of. Doing that all over again in the 616 universe comes across as redundant and the only thing it really does is reduce the amount of Spider books on the market.”

This one is a real headscratcher.

RYV is not the logical endgame because MJ with powers is not the logical conclusion. Merely ONE conclusion.

FFS RYV isn’t even the same as Spider-Girl despite the premises being similar.

You can take the same broad ideas and do them suitably differently.

Like I dunno exploring the inner dynamics and ups and downs of a couple who do not have a kid?

Focussing mostly upon that as opposed to the kid and all three of them working out how to fight crime together.

Not to mention from this point to even get to RYV (even pre-time skip RYV) would take effing years. Peter and MJ just got back together but it’s a write off because we’ve already seen Peter and MJ with an 8 year old kid so fuck following the trajectory that might get us there?

What kind of nonsense is that?

CBR nonsense, that’s what.

Just like the ‘it will reduce the amount of books on the market’.

Well fuck dude we used to have FOUR Spider-Man books every goddam month about literally the same version of Spider-Man. then 10 years later we had 1 book about Marvel Adventures Spidey, 1 about a high school Spidey, 1 about Mary Jane, then 3 about an adult married Spider-Man.

I THINK we can be okay with a Spider-Man who’s dating or married to a normal woman and another one where he is married to a super powered version of that woman and they are raising their teenage super powered daughter FFS.

And even if we do unfortunately lose Renew Your Vows the argument of ‘we’d be losing a Spider book’ doesn’t even hold up THAT much because...WE ALREADY HAVE TOO MANY SPIDER BOOKS!

Amazing Spider-Man TWICE a month.

Spectacular Spider-Man

Miles Morales

Spider-Gwen

Venom

Scarlet Spider

And soon to come

Spider-Geddon

Spider Force

Spider-Girls

Yet more bullshit I’m sure.

Like I don’t want to lose RYV but dear God we’ve already got TOO MANY Spider books as is.

“And it may have been better for them both to just stay friends, or at least not jump into getting together again so amazingly fast.”

10 years isn’t amazingly fast bro.

So to sum up this article is hot trash that utterly failed to justify it’s own stupid title.

Or maybe it just chronically misspelled it’s own title. Who effing knows. But burn it with fire either way.

#amazing spider-man #feature #Spider-Man #cbr #Comic Book Resources #mjwatsonedit #mary jane watson #Mary Jane Watson Parker #one more day #dan slott #nick spencer #Black Cat #Mockingbird #Bobbi Morse #Felicia Hardy #Superior Spider-Man #spider-man renew your vows #Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows

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ericpoptone · 5 years

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Thiên Hương — better known as “Tiny Yong” is a French singer associated with the yé-yé scene of the 1950s and ’60s.

She was born Tôn Nữ Thị Thiên Hương on 8 February 1944 in Phnom Penh — the capital of Cambodia since 1865 but then part of French-Indochina. Her father was a doctor and her mother a homemaker; both traced their heritage to Vietnam‘s Dương Dynasty. The family relocated to Saigon and Thiên Hương was schooled at Le Couvent des Oiseaux de Dalat, where she learned English, Spanish, and French. In 1958, the family again relocated, this time to a home on La rue Coustou in Paris‘s 18th arrondissement. There her father continued to practice medicine and her mother opened a Vietnamese restaurant.

In 1960, Thiên Hương performed in Albert Camus‘s Les Justes and Jean Cocteau‘s L’Épouse injustement soupçonnée, staged at La Théâtre de la Tomate. She next appeared in François Campaux‘s Chérie Noire. Meanwhile, her brother helped her secure a job performing Vietnamese and French “chanson à texte” at a cabaret in the 1st arrondissement called La Table du Mandarin. In December, she made her television debut on Aimée Mortimer‘s show A L’École des vedettes. The following February, she returned to the airwaves to mime “Rêve Opératoire.” In March she released her debut recording, the 7″ EP “Le Monde de Suzie Wong,” accompanied by Jacques Loussier et son orchestre, on Caravelle.

Cambodian actress and singer Tiny Yong in Rome, Italy, to star in the film ‘Parias de la gloire’ (‘Pariahs of Glory’), 1964. (Photo by Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

In April, Thiên Hương performed “Si tu cherches ta jeunesse” on the music television series, Discorama, a song intended for an EP which ultimately wasn’t released. She also continued performing at La Table du Mandarin, where she was noticed by filmmaker Robert Hossein, who cast her as “L’eurasienne” in Jeu de la vérité (1961).

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Her second audio release was “La Prison de Bambou,” a duet with Jean-Philippe, backed by Jack Ledru et son ensemble, and released by the tiny label, Lotus in 1962. It was recorded for the 1962 Piero Pierotti film, L’avventura di un italiano in Cina, in which she also appeared as “Tai-Au.” It was released in the US, dubbed in English, as Marco Polo — and with a Les Baxter score.

In November, she returned to Discorama where she performed “L’Oiseau de paradis” — the theme to Marcel Camus‘s film of the same name. For the performance she was accompanied by Elek Bacsik (a cousin of Django Reinhardt) and Henri Salvador (a Guyanese comedian, singer, and producer who co-owned his own label Disques Salvador with his wife, Jacqueline).

In December, Thiên Hương appeared on another television program, La Tournée des Grands Ducs, this time joined by her sister Bạch Yến, with whom she duetted on “Les Fées du crépuscule.”

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Shortly after, Thiên Hương signed a deal with Disques Salvador, where Henri and Jacqueline came up with a new nom de scène, “Tiny Yong.” The couple hoped to fashion her into a rock ‘n’ roller along the lines of Jacky Moulière. Henri Salvador also owned a club, L’Alhambra, where Thiên Hương began singing songs popularized by American girl groups. Her first recording for Disques Salvador was “Tais-Toi Petite Folle” with Christian Chevallier. The A-side was a French language cover of Helen Miller and Howard Greenfield‘s, which had been a big hit for The Shirelles just weeks earlier. The B-side was a French cover of Roy Orbison‘s “In Dreams” titled “En rêve.”

Her next release was the 10″ album, Je Ne Veux Plus T’Aimer, the title track a cover of Goffin And King‘s “I Can’t Stay Mad at You” adapted into French by Hubert Ithier.

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For the next few years, Tiny Yong was a regularly featured performer on television, radio, film, and in print ads for companies including Bic and Odilène; all the while releasing 7″ EPs on Disques Salvador and Rigolo (the Salvador’s other label). In March 1964, she performed “Les garçons m’aiment” on the program, Âge tendre et tête de bois, for which she was introduced by Albert Raisner as “la yéyé du pays du sourire” (even though it’s Thailand which is sometimes referred to as “the land of smiles.” In April she appeared as “La chinoise ” in the Henri Decoin film, Les Parias de la gloire. She next performed on Les Raisins verts and twice on La grande farandole.

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In 1965, she performed on Entrez dans la ronde, Pirouettes Salvador, and Tête de bois et tendres années.

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Yong’s final release on Rigolo was “Mon Futur Et Mon Passé” in 1965. A second appearance on Tête de bois et tendres années — on 27 April 1966 — proved to be her final television performance. Following a disagreement with the Salvadors, she parted ways with them.

Hương appeared as in Nicolas Gessner‘s 1967 film, La blonde de Pékin, in which still credited as “Tiny Yong” she played Yen Hay Sun.

Hương returned to Saigon, in 1968 — the year the Tet Offensive marked a major turn in the Vietnam War. There she resumed performing at cabarets before deciding to retire from public performance. In 1970, she returned to France where she appeared on an episode of Allô police titled “La pantoufle de jade.”

It was also in 1970 that she opened the first of several restaurants — first in Paris, then in Saint-Germain-des-Prés, followed by Pont de Jade in Pont-sur-Yonne, and finally in Montpellier, where she resides today. She married An Nguyên Ngoc and the two had a daughter.

Naturally, Thiên Hương/Tiny Yong’s vinyl catalog is out of print but her music has been thrice compiled by Magic Records on compact disc: La Collection Sixties Des EP’s Français, Tiny Yong – L’integrale 1961/1965, and the two-disc Tiny Yong – L’Intégrale Sixties. In 2017, a duet with Trần Văn Trạch of Nguyễn Văn Đông‘s “Chiều Mưa Biên Giới” was released 57 years after it was recorded.

Bon anniversaire!

DISCOGRAPHY

1961 – Le Monde de Suzie Wong (7″, EP), Caravelle

1961 – Le Monde de Suzie Wong / Pour t’aimer / Geisha / Fol amour (7″, EP), Caravelle

1962 – Parfum Céleste / La Prison De Bambou / Avril A Paris / Mon Galant Viendra (with Jean Philippe), (7″, EP), Lotus

1963 – Tais toi petite folle (7″, Single), Disques Salvador

1963 – Je ne veux plus t’aimer (10″, Album), Disques Salvador

1963 – Je ne veux plus t’aimer (7″, EP), Disques Salvador

1963 – Je ne veux plus t’aimer (I Can’t Stay Mad At You) / Le Carrosse blanc (7″, Single), Disques Salvador

1963 – En rêve (In Dreams) / Ma poupée (Charms) (7″, Single, Promo, Juk), Disques Salvador

1963 – Je ne veux plus t’aimer / Le Carrosse blanc / Tu es seule / Un seul garçon sur la Terre (7″, EP), Disques Salvador

1963 – Je ne veux plus t’aimer / Le Carrosse blanc / Ma poupée / En rêve / Tais-toi petite folle / Un seul garçon sur la Terre / Tu es seule / Syracuse (LP25), Disques Salvador

1964 – Tiny Yong avec Christian Chevallier et son Orchestre Mon chien et moi / Je t’attendrai / Les garçons m’aiment / Il reviendra (7″, EP), Belter, Disques Salvador

1964 – Histoire d’amour / Aime-moi / C’est fini nous deux / Tout ce qui fut l’amour (7″, EP), Rigolo, Belter

1964 – Tiny (I’m Too Young) / La Nuit est à nous / Le Sauvage (He Is No Good) / Adieu Bonne Chance (Shake Hands With A Loser) (7″, EP), Rigolo

1964 – Il reviendra (7″, Single), Disques Salvador

1964 – Je t’attendrai / Mon chien et moi (7″, Single), Disques Salvador

1964 – Un seul garçon sur la Terre (7″, EP), Belter

1964 – Je t’attendrai / Les garçons m’aiment / Il reviendra / Mon chien et moi (7″, EP), Disques Salvador

1965 – Huit jours par semaine / Le Tigre (7″, Single), Rigolo

1965 – Mon futur et mon passé (7″, EP), Rigolo

1965 – Huit jours par semaine / Tu es le roi des menteurs / Le Tigre / Je reviens pour toi (7″, EP), Rigolo

1966 – Mon futur et mon passé / Le Bonheur / Je t’aime t’aime tant / Il ne me reste plus rien (7″, EP), Rigolo

2017 (recorded in 1960) – Chiều Mưa Biên Giới (7″, single), Dĩa Hát Dư Âm

Eric Brightwell is an adventurer, writer, rambler, explorer, cartographer, and guerrilla gardener who is always seeking paid writing, speaking, traveling, and art opportunities. He is not interested in generating advertorials, cranking out clickbait, or laboring away in a listicle mill “for exposure.”

Brightwell has written for Angels Walk LA, Amoeblog, Boom: A Journal of California, diaCRITICS, Hidden Los Angeles, and KCET Departures. His art has been featured by the American Institute of Architects, the Architecture & Design Museum, the Craft & Folk Art Museum, Form Follows Function, Los Angeles County Store, the book Sidewalking, Skid Row Housing Trust, and 1650 Gallery. Brightwell has been featured as subject in The Los Angeles Times, Huffington Post, Los Angeles Magazine, LAist, CurbedLA, Eastsider LA, Boing Boing, Los Angeles, I’m Yours, and on Notebook on Cities and Culture. He has been a guest speaker on KCRW‘s Which Way, LA?, at Emerson College, and the University of Southern California. Art prints of Brightwell’s maps are available from 1650 Gallery.

Brightwell is currently writing a book about Los Angeles and you can follow him on Ameba, Facebook, Goodreads, Instagram, Mubi, and Twitter.

Click here to offer financial support and thank you

Thiên Hương (aka “Tiny Yong”) Thiên Hương -- better known as "Tiny Yong" is a French singer associated with the…

#1960s pop #French Music #Thiên Hương #Tiny Yong #Vietnamese Singers #yé-yé

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booksbroadwaybbc · 6 years

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30 things I've learned in 30 years via /r/selfimprovement

30 things I've learned in 30 years

A month ago I turned 30. Few people would have bet on it, but here I am.

30 years is a weird age. You're definitely not old but you're also definitely not young anymore. You're "young-ish" and "old-ish". At the same time.

But now I'm digressing. On my birthday I went on a date with my amazing girlfriend. At one point, halfway through the meal (and after a couple of glasses of wine), she looked into my eyes and asked me: What have you learned so far? Given your current knowledge, would you do the same things again?

I found that question very interesting because I don't think I've ever stopped to think about it. My first, gut-instinct answer was "Yes, I would!". And I meant it. Overall, I'm happy with my life and my choices and I do believe that life is first of all about making mistakes and learning from them. So, yes: if I went back I'd definitely do the same things all over again.

However, the more I thought about it, the more I started to realise how much I've learned over the years. All the crazy situations, questionable people, inspiring books, weird encounters, everything that has shaped who I am today and the way I think.

So I thought I'd make a list of 30 things I've learned are true in life. You are welcome. Why 30? Because 30 makes it for a clickbait catchy title.

Here we go:

Say I'm sorry A lot of people (especially men) are not used to saying I'm sorry. They think it's not cool or manly enough to apologise. But saying "I'm sorry" it's such a powerful gesture because it shows that you're mature enough to accept responsibility for your actions or words, which is ultimately the difference between an adult and an immature person.

Start saving as soon as possible If there is one thing I wish I started earlier in life is saving. As soon as you start earning money, put at least 20% of your income in an index fund returning 5-7% per year (which isn't particularly high). By the time you're 40, you will have accumulated enough money to buy a house outright. Compound interest is the name of the game.

Learn to reason by first principles The difference between reasoning by first principles and reasoning by analogy is like the difference between being a chef and being a cook. If the cook lost the recipe, he’d be screwed.

Develop healthy habits I'm far from being a healthy person at the moment, but I now understand the basics of habit formation (especially the role the environment plays in shaping our habits) and I wish I developed much better habits when I was younger. The good news is that it's never too late (for example I've developed a reading habit that allows me to read 30 books a yearvery easily).

Learn the basics of nutrition I've been a fat kid for most of my childhood. It definitely didn't help that my mum had never taken the time to learn about the basics of nutrition, the role of the different macronutrients and what my body actually needed. You don't need to be a doctor, but learning the basics will massively help you (and your kids) live a healthier life.

Avoid as much as possible starches and sugar Speaking of basics of nutrition: avoid starches and sugar (both found abundantly in processed food) as much as you can. The evidence about the side effects of a carb and sugar-rich diet is massive.

Love is about agreeing on the big, important things... ... and compromising on the small things. I'm amazed at how many couples do the opposite but not surprised they usually don't last very long.

Never go to sleep on an argument with your loved one Enough said.

Pick your battles Not everything is as important as you think it is. A lot of people get angry about a LOT of things. Their life runs them instead of the other way around. Don't be that guy; don't let the little things get at you.

Work on your relationships I've been notoriously bad at this but it's something I'm working hard at. A life without strong, genuine relationships is not worth living.

Ignore social media and news Social media and news are in the business of monetizing your fears and insecurities. Ignore them and your life will be immediately 10X better.

To truly understand people study Darwinian evolution and psychology We are slightly less hairy monkeys whose actions are still dominated by hormones, pheromones and ancestral fears. Want to truly understand why people do what they do? Read Darwin and good books about behavioural psychology.

Give without expecting anything back Give without expecting anything in return is a wonderful act of trust in the kindness of fellow human beings. And when you do it, you will feel amazing.

Learn what makes you happy A really big one for me. I don't think you should spend your life searching for your "role in the universe". However, I do believe that over time you figure out what clicks with you and what doesn't; what makes you happy and what doesn't. My advice: be an active observer and notice what you're doing when you're happy. Then do more of it.

Optimise your life for learning Knowledge is your competitive advantage. A lot of people think learning stop when they get out of school. They usually end up working for those who understood learning is a lifelong process.

Develop a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset People with a growth mindset believe that human qualities like intelligence and creativity, and even relational capacities like love and friendship, can be cultivated through effort and deliberate practice.

Learn to receive feedback Don't take things personally. Yes, some people's feedback is useless and even harmful but the only way to truly grow and improve is to get feedback and act on it.

Come up with some principles and live by them Unless you have a clear decision-making framework you'll be optimising for short-term goals. Predefined principles make optimising for long-term goals much easier.

You're not entitled to an opinion unless you can back it with facts Don't be the idiot that says "this is my opinion" as if that's sufficient to say something. Back it with facts or logic or just shut up. The world has too many people who think they are entitled to an opinion and not enough people who bother justify it.

Read the classics People way WAY smarter than you and I have figured out a lot of things already. Take advantage of the Lindy effect: if a book has been around for a long time it means it has stood the test of time (plus critics) and therefore it's more likely to contain timeless wisdom than a book that's been around for a few years.

Don't be envious of other people... ... Only compare yourself with where you want to be in 10 years. Not worrying about keeping up with the Joneses has been one of the biggest improvements to my life and mental health.

Life is much more fun when you have ambitious goals Your time on this planet is ridiculously limited. Make it worth it.

Expand your mind Travel the world, meet new people, learn about different cultures, get out of your comfort zone. You can live your life thinking that yours was the only way to live or you can go out there and know that it wasn't.

Don't wait to say "I love you" I've always waited far too long to tell people how important they were for me. And every single time I wished I did that sooner. Don't wait to tell people that you love them. Do it now.

Give second chances We all fuck up. All the time. Giving people a second chance is not a sign of weakness but it's about recognising that we are humans.

Listen to your body Big one for me. Whether you like or not, you're going to spend the entirety of your life with that mass of bones and flesh. Learning to listen to it it's one of the best things you can do for yourself.

The strong defeat the weak but the smart defeat the strong You will see this pattern everywhere in life. Be the smart guy.

Learn to sell products, not your time Your time is limited. Learn to sell products or services that can be distributed easily. That's how you create true wealth.

Love is putting another person's needs in front of yours If you ask 10 people, they'll give you 10 different definition of love. I choose this one because it's about sacrifice and selflessness.

Coming up with 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years is REALLY hard

The next 10 years of my life look terrifying: getting married, buying a house, making a baby or two and all the other grown-up things. It will be fun to write this list again when I turn 40 and see how many items in my list I believe are still true.

Submitted September 14, 2018 at 04:43PM by Manu66 via reddit https://ift.tt/2QuvrBS

#IFTTT #reddit

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ayankun · 6 years

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BAD BAD OT3

Fandom: Legends of Flarrowverse Type: Mostly nonsense, partially fluff Characters: (Bi!)Ray Palmer, (Ace!)Barry Allen, (Badass-as-Usual!)Sara Lance (feel free to add shipping lines in there at your own discretion) Warnings: Current season spoilers, mostly Word Count: 1836 Tag: Ray Palmer wasn’t invited to someone’s bachelor party, and a bunch of non-sequitur shipping ensues.

Note: I don’t know about you but watching ten year old Ray Palmer watching Singin’ In the Rain just melted my heart and I’m not entirely in control of whatever happened next as I processed these emotions. (this fic is what happened next)

BAD BAD OT3

Sometimes you don't get invited to bachelor parties. Or birth of a first grandson parties. Or congrats you made it off the island alive again parties.

Let's face it, you don't get invited to parties as a general rule.

The closest experience you have is the cumulative black tie events you attended on behalf of Palmer Tech, although invitations to such affairs were more a matter of padding out the millionaire playboy industrialist demographic than a solicitation of your winning personality.

(Come to think of it, you never even went to your own bachelor parties. Although you suppose this is largely due to those two engagements never making it to term.)

And anyway, you were a little preoccupied with saving younger you from the perils of 1988 suburbia while Stein was off seeing little Ronnie into the world, so that one was really just a matter of bad timing. You're sure that if adequate planning had been involved, it would have been you and not MICK RORY of all people to tag along.

And maybe Oliver wasn't really in a partying mood, what with Thea and William and all. You get that. Then again, Oliver Queen wouldn't know the partying mood if it came up and instantly got three arrows to carefully targeted vital organs for its trouble.

Which leaves Barry Allen's bachelor party, and the fact that Ray Palmer's noticeable absence from which has absolutely no discernible excuse.

You and Barry have something special, you always thought. Two connected souls. You both have do-gooder track records that go back to way before you became superheroes. You both have a head for hard science and a heart for science fiction. You both work hard to protect your loved ones from ever experiencing that kind of ultimate loss the two of you have survived over and over.

Not to mention you both have immaculate hair and look great in uniform.

And you know you're living outside the traditional understanding of linear time, where temporal eddies swirl cause and effect and can reasonably be blamed for losing your mail, but you end up hearing from Mick who heard from Jax who heard from Stein who heard from Caitlin back in 2017 that Barry's gone and finally got himself married.

Why it always has to be Mick instead of you, you'll probably never know.

You know you are a leading member of a team in charge of operating a bonafide time machine, so you could just make a pit stop to a couple of months ago and make a note of reminding whoever it was that sent out the invites. But you are also a highly decorated Boy Scout of America so you settle for avoiding time aberrations by inviting Barry's gang to your place for a shindig of your own creation.

It's some time -- speaking from a linear, subjective viewpoint -- before the business of superheroing quiets down enough for both teams to take a step back for some R&R. But in the end, not everybody who was invited shows up.

Since the bachelor party's already ancient history, you decided to make it an event for general congratulations and invited both Barry and Iris as well as the rest of S.T.A.R. Labs. Except Joe West declined, citing allergies to time travel. And Caitlin bowed out, as well, prior engagements and all that. Iris was on board except at the last minute Central City Picture News sent her on assignment to Star City to grab some juicy clickbait headlines thanks to her known connections to the superhero underground.

You tried to convince them that you could postpone. Time machine and all. But Iris West-Allen pushed Barry and Cisco out the door and made you boys promise to have a good time on her behalf.

Having never been to or hosted a party with friends, you wind up wondering whether anyone is having a good time at all.

Mick got through Fiddler on the Roof just fine, but drank himself to sleep before the opening number of Oklahoma! was through. Sara's propped up on the floor leaning against his legs and Zari's snoring in her lap.

Amaya politely stayed through the opening snack buffet, but excused herself when the lights went down. Nate watched her go, and made up some excuse himself not long after.

Stein and Jax and Cisco ended up chattering like school girls about the Waverider's tech, and after repeated shushings by the assembled musical-lovers, eventually took the hint and wandered off on a tour of the ship's underbelly.

So it's just you and Barry on the couch with a bowl of popcorn between you, attentively watching the antics of Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor.

"I used to watch this with my mom all the time," Barry confides to you quietly. Probably so as not to wake the others, but maybe also because he's a little shy to admit it. "Especially on rainy days and stuff."

"That's cool," you reply. "I, uh, watched it once with a baby Dominator named Gumball. His mom tried to kill us but um. She didn't! Ha ha."

"Um," Barry says, frowning, eyes flicking to you and back to the movie. "That's cool."

Remember how you weren't invited to many parties? Could this stellar conversation have something to do with it?

"Is it just me or does Donald O'Connor totally outclass Gene Kelly in this?" Barry asks you after a while. "Or maybe I just feel like I have more in common with Cosmo rather than Don and I subconsciously feel like he never gets the credit he deserves."

"I wouldn't have thought you of all people identified with the goofy sidekick," you say, "but I know exactly what you mean."

Barry shrugs, but now there's an avenue opened between you.

"You know, I always felt bad for Cosmo in the end," you try again during one of the lulls between numbers. "Don and Kathy run off to live happily ever after and he winds up with nothing."

Barry looks at you with a quiet side-eye. "He doesn't end up with nothing. He has a whole studio department to run. Besides..."

But Barry trails off. You look over and see him shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

"Besides?" You're patient. You can wait out a mouthful of popcorn.

Barry glances down and scratches at the back of his neck. When he puts his arm down, it's along the back of the couch and he tucks one of his legs up under him as he shifts a little to face you.

"Besides," he starts again, meeting your eyes briefly and then finally addressing the TV. "He doesn't need to get the girl to have a happy ending. I never thought Cosmo was, you know, into girls. Or anybody, really. He seemed happy enough with his work."

This is one of those few ways in which you and Barry are kind of the same but also a whole lot different.

You see what he's getting at, though. "I hear that," you concede. "Still, my personal read always was that Cosmo and Don were, uh, or could have been an item. But public morals of the era prevented them from acting on it, and to top it all off, Kathy comes waltzing into the picture and effectively cancels their subtext relationship. That never seemed fair."

There's a small but knowing smile on Barry's face that tells you that you're still on the same page.

"What, you mean Don and Cosmo couldn't be an item without the sex stuff?" he challenges. "I happen to know from experience that that's not necessary to define an active relationship."

A new challenger appears. "Like you want me to believe that you and Iris sat up playing pattycake and braiding each other's hair on your wedding night."

You look over to see Sara with her Mick armchair and Zari blanket giving Barry a predatory once-over.

That was slightly unfair and he blushes a little along his hairline. He does a thing where it looks like he's trying to rearrange his neck as he sits up straighter against the arm of the couch. "It's called falling in love with your best friend. The sex stuff is totally secondary."

"Sex stuff or no," she says, sliding out from Zari like a pro and settling the other woman against Mick in her place, "I think you boys are completely missing the point."

You glance at Barry. "Which is?"

Sara comes and helps herself to the cozy little spot between the two of you on the couch, relocating the popcorn to the floor. She points out the trio on the screen, sitting around Don's kitchen with sandwiches and milk.

"Look at them. Cosmo's got a thing for Don, obviously. Who wouldn't. And Don and Kathy have their quaint little heteronormative leading-man-leading-lady thing going on, sure. But our boy Don, well." She turns her head to you and then to Barry, looking up at you both like she was the one with twenty degrees and you were the high school dropouts.

"He's into both of them and Kathy's cool with it!" Sara shakes her hands at the screen. "If that isn't a picture of polyamorous domestic bliss, I don't know what is."

"Hm," you and Barry both say. The room goes quiet as you study the scene as it plays out before you. You gradually notice the way your head is tilting farther and farther to the right in curiosity that eventually pays out as enlightenment.

"I ship it," you say quietly.

Sara nods, pleased. She needles Barry in the ribs until he squirms. "Sex stuff or no, this way all three of us can project onto these characters to our hearts' content."

The three of you sit contemplatively on the couch, watching the silver screen stars who are now sitting and laughing like maniacs on a couch of their own.

You begin to grow increasingly aware of Sara's arm on the couch behind your neck. You glance over to Barry and see that his embarrassed flush has only deepened.

"You know, you two are a lot alike," she tells you. "In a skinny-jeans and big-and-tall kind of way." Her arm ghosts from the couch back, making your hair stand on end, and her hands end up settled on one each of your and Barry's knees. And stay there.

You actually hear Barry gulp.

"How about more popcorn?" you squeak. Forgetting exactly where the popcorn ended up, you manage to put your foot in it and then kick the bowl halfway across the room, sending popcorn flying.

Zari's jostled awake by Mick's sudden flinch, and she topples to the side amid a sea of popcorn. "Good morning?" she says groggily.

"Good morning," answers Mick (and WHY is it always Mick roRY), "Out of the way new girl, I need to take a leak."

And that's when you decide that parties were never really meant to be your forte after all.

#legends of tomorrow #The Flash #Ray Palmer #Barry Allen #Sara Lance #NaNo words #sorry in a not sorry kind of way #words

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