#theyd probs get back together though.

[suffarustuffaru]

so i ranked some rezero ships based on how their breakup would go

#IM SO SORRY FOR THE ‘at least one of them dies’ TIER WODNSNS #rem and fred are only in clean breakup bc i think itd just kinda fizzle out itd just be like ‘i no longer feel we should be dating. ok cool’ #fred and ram are at the VERY TOP bc of how their entire friend group (emilia camp) is also gonna react. the teas gonna be so spilled HAH #otto and ram mainly being in the divorcee category says so much. #and OKAY otto is like….. his only clean healthy breakups are gonna be with fred or marone. if its anyone else then ottos gonna like #getting drunk and then immediately giving unhinged rants about it. #its all over once i write that otto-reinhard rarepair analysis man. #julius ships being in the bottom half of the tier list only… unproblematic king. #i DO think felix crusch would be clean breakup bc they want whats best for each other ultimately. if they ever did officially get together #and then break up. #theyd probs get back together though. #rezero #so sorry to the person who made this tier list if youre seeing this. this is what im using it for HAH

[hyunsvngs]

SQUIRTRACHA!! aka chan minho hyunjin and jeongin who would prob be the most determined to make you squirt. andjskjdkssjksk the brainrot is real. and theyd pull out ALL the tricks. flicking and sucking your nipples, rubbing your clit, EDGING 😖 and probably just lots and lots of orgasm denial. all in an attempt to get you to squirt for them <3

I SO AGREE.

UNDER THE CUT BC THIS GOT SO LONG!!!

i think with chan it would be such a deep, carnal desire for him… i can just imagine him discovering it one day when he’s watching porn and he’s like “oh…?” when the female star’s orgasm gushes from her. from then on, he’s just thinking about how badly he wants to make someone do that… i can imagine the first time he gets you in bed it’s going through his brain, it’s ALL he can think about. immediately crooks his fingers up to your g spot in an attempt to get you to squirt.. you’re whining, telling him “it’s too much, channie, too much- i think i’m gonna pee, i’m-?”. chan’s shaking his head, soft curls bouncing in his face, “no baby, ‘s not pee. c’mon, let go for me.” ughhh and imagine the overstimulation when you do… poor baby just wants to make you soak him over and over.. he’s latching onto your nipples, thrusting his fingers back in straight away. i need him so bad

i think with minho it would be the complete opposite. he’d be edging you for what felt like forever. he’d have you perched in front of a mirror, legs splayed over his as he worked his fingers into you over and over. every single time you thought he may give it to you, let you have this orgasm - he pulled away, smacking your clit teasingly with a smirk. except, this time, he’s a bit too late - your orgasm floods from you, soaking the mirror as your eyebrows furrow together and jaw drops in a silent scream. you’re babbling “oh-! sorry, sorry, min! made a mess, oh-“ minho wouldn’t even show his surprise tbh, though he’s internally dying… he’d just smirk, saying “so fucking dirty, creaming for me everywhere like that, huh? can’t even be mad you came.” he’d definitely bend you over quickly and shove his thick cock in you until you’re doing it again. yum

hyunjin would have such a kink for just watching you cum. just seeing your eyes roll back with pleasure, clit throbbing and toes curling as you let go all for him, just for him. when he expressed his desire to make you squirt, you honestly weren’t surprised at all. you were surprised when he tried it later that same day - pulling out a nice, curved g spot vibrator to fuck you with. hyunjin would work you up so good, telling you “you’re so, so fucking beautiful”, and making you whine out. he’d suck hickeys into your neck, kissing down your body, laving over your tits until he was sure you were nice and wet for him… i think while minho, jeongin and chan would be the types to fuck you without abandon to get you to squirt, hyunjin would enjoy playing with your body like it’s a beautiful instrument. “there you go, feelin’ good?” he’d say as he pushed the soft silicone inside of you, and you’d nod, whimpering when the attachment brushes against your clit. he wouldn’t even fuck you quickly, just brushing his fingers over your nipples while he pumps it steadily in and out of you… before you know it, you’re cumming, not even able to warn him - juices gushing out of you and all over the vibrator and hyunjin’s hand. you’d be whining, “oh, hyunjin, ‘m- cumming, cum, shit, ‘s wet-“ and shiiit the smile he’d do… he’d be so fucking happy LOL he wouldnt even need to fuck you, he’d be satisfied at your own powerful orgasm.

ok jeongin…. i honestly think that when jeongin heard about squirting, he was astonished. he was like “PEOPLE CAN DO THAT????” and then he was like “nah. i don’t believe it.” just completely refusing it exists. until one day, you’re riding him and his cockhead is hitting your cervix just right. jeongin felt like he was going to die whenever he was inside you anyway, but today just felt different. you were warmer, wetter, tighter - even fucking louder as you writhed and bounced on him. “yeah, ah, ah, innie, so deep-“ you’d be whining, fingers digging into his stomach. just from your facial expression, lost in pleasure, jeongin would feel himself getting close - but you had to cum first. “you gonna cum? please, please,” he’d beg, leaning up to rub tight, precise circles on your clit. all of a sudden, the tightness of your hole is pushing jeongin’s dick out, and a gush of clear fluids is covering him. you’re in shock, eyes widening and moans tumbling out of your mouth - only worsened by jeongin cumming on his own stomach as you cover him. so yeah, he likes it. he still can’t believe it’s real tho tbh, even as he tries (and succeeds) to get you to do it over and over again.

i also think jisung would have an INTENSE squirt kink and idk if thats me projecting but he’s filthy SO IF U WANT ME TO ELABORATE LMK…

#juno’s asks ♡ #sweet baby anon #yang jeongin smut #yang jeongin drabble #hwang hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin drabble #bang chan drabble #bang chan smut #lee know smut #lee know drabble

[namuneulbo]

week sixty-four

this week. woah. it was......... a lot.

well, to start off... i have a crush on v. i figured this out on monday and since then its gotten so severe lol. monday to friday was spent thinking ab him and also apparently not hiding it very well from l. ill come back to this later but this entire chapter will for sure be ab him and also in sm detail.

ive kind of talked a lot ab him and just my “new friends” in general a lot w l and my mom. i think my mom even has suspicions that i like either d or v (bc i talk ab them the most prob).

i started spamming n, s and t and also i, m and t ab him. i wont be able to cover what i told them all individually but n def received the most detailed info yet only one pic (WHICH WAS A HORRIBLY EMBARRASSING ONE I TOOK ON BEREAL WHEN IT CUT EVERYONE OUT AND THEIR POSES SO IT WAS JUST HIM NOT POSING AAAAA I FEEL LIKE A MOM WHO TAKES PICS OF HER KIDS WO CONSENT TT). i talked A LOT w s ab him too and w t i just spammed quickly on monday/tuesday i think, i cant bother checking. when i told i, m and t they immediately asked for a pic and i was scared theyd bully me lol but they said hes solid WOO! s approved of him too, saying the nail polish and his guitar made him seem very much like my type.

ill give u all who might be reading this a lil description of his pros. i would say a reminder to future me as well but yk maybe we end up together so :* heres what weve got so far:

- hes taller than me.

- has a niiiiiice voice.

- nice sense of style. its like basic as in plain colors (pretty much only black, hell wear white sweaters or super dark colors). it looks so good.

- hes a metalhead (+ we have two bands in common, ghost and polyphia).

- piercingssss!

- hes so talented, like he can play guitar, drums AND piano flawlessly.

- hes funny.

now to his cons: he’s not fully single. so. um. idk if theyre dating or in a situationship or just talking but its something for sureeee.

i dont ever want to like, break them up on purpose or like make moves on him while theyre talking bc im not a fucking douchebag. it is quite sad seeing them together though. i cant help but dislike the girl hes w a bit even though i dont want to, shes really cool and gorgeous and nice im just so O_o

on wednesday we had band class and i was MESMERIZED. he had a concert that same day so he was dressed up in a navy button-up, black jeans cuffed over a black pair of chelsea boots. i had to leave a couple times during practice bc i had to practice harmonies w the singers and i remember literally feeling sad ab not being able to stare at him playing the piano so perfectly.

in the evening i went out to the bar for the weekly music quiz they do. i went w a, c and v at first but later on d and p joined (not dan and phil sadly). i was super awkward lol but it was my first time hanging out w just them and it felt so,,,, new to me. im glad i did it though, ig? i got to see him even if it was awkward. also, i think d has my old backpack that i left to a thrift shop. its a floral pattern w black faux leather details and gold buttons. its quite cute and it fits him really well.

i did eventually warm up a bit but nothing crazy.

i was already comfy around c but after wednesday, i was also comfy around d. he was so nice that i even questioned if i liked him as well but turns out i was probably really desperate TT i tend to never be interested in ANYONE when i like someone and thats really obvious now. even though my chances w v r low, i still deleted all my dating apps and stuff bc i dont have the desire to go on them as of rn.

on friday i had been CRAVING a party to go to all day. i was just waiting for someone to send a message saying “yo, party at vs place!”. we usually party at his place. i literally ranted to my mom ab how bad i was hoping for someone to throw a party and this wasnt even just bc of getting to see v but i was genuinely so socially starved. finally, around 19:30 id say, someone sends a message in the class gc telling everyone ab a party at his place. i immediately message l begging for them to come w me and even saying if they dont, ill go either way bc i want to go so bad. they end up declining and i go to the party myself. i get ready in a few minutes, just fixing my day-old makeup and eating and drinking water and stuff so i wont throw up the second i drink alcohol. i was so quick and i was walking w such speed around the house so i think my mom has probably started to connect the dots now that theres someone i like bc im never that excited ever. i leave along w my mom who took the dog out for a walk. since v lives so nearby she walked w me pretty much the entire way.

id never usually be this confident but i had been talking w s the entire day and she hyped me up SO much. i actually love her sm for that. i arrive there, v throws down his keys from the balcony, i catch them and go up to his apartment. i was a tad bit quiet in the beginning but i really tried to force myself to just relax and look cool and i did after a little while. we blasted metal and one of the first things they did was that everyone of them, c, d and v, went out for a smoke so i joined in even though i dont smoke but i enjoyed the lil passive smoking sesh on the tiny balcony, stuck behind d and v.

(bereal just went off, vs so cute).

anyways, i quite quickly felt more relaxed, i kinda forced myself to sit more,, relaxed and stop fidgeting and i got more included in the convo by queueing songs to play. i first asked v to queue kingslayer by bmth and babymetal and he was super excited ab it so i was so glad he liked it. we listened to it on a party a whileeee ago and i remember being so excited ab the fact that he liked that song too. a had arrived by now and hes v good to have there in that sense that he will make me join in the convo somehow if i havent talked in a while. he made me queue another song and i queued drowning lessons by mcr. i was so caught by surprise and i always get so shit at using tech shit and the internet in front of ppl, idk why, so v started guiding me on what buttons to press TT i hadnt thought of drowning lessons in the first place actually but i just kind of naturally went w mcr for some reason and then ended up choosing my fav song by them. we listened to it and v was like “DID HE JUST VOICE BREAK???” and i was like “oh, maybe? i mean its their first album so the mixing and recording might be a bit shit” and he replayed the part and was like “THERE IS A VOICE BREAK!” and c started explaining to him in distress that its just how u sing punk TT after a while v was like “its still going? how long is it?” and checked and it was right before the outro and i was like “waittt, we havent gotten to the best part yet!” and he leaves it and the breakdown comes and he does a stankface and just looks at me like “oh, a breakdown ending, hell yeah!” and i was so happy haha

last song i queue is taking you out by passcode. as i was typing it v read out what i was typing and kept guessing songs, heh, it was so cute. he asked me ab the band and stuff and then said like “oh, she growls really well for a woman” and the proceeds to elaborate in distress that he didnt mean it in a misogynistic women-cant-growl type of way but in a its-genuinely-harder-for-a-woman-to-do-metal-growls. it was quite cute, he tends to do that a lot, like overexplaining things so ppl dont think hes being a dickhead even though he says very normal things TT its so cute and it really shows that he cares.

i mentioned that i was ab to start learning growling w my vocal teacher and how she also said she wants to get the singer of finntroll to come and teach growling to me (WHICH IS SO COOL???). v was like “oh my god, im also ab to practice growling w my vocal teacher” and then when i told him ab the singer of finntroll thing he got so excited and just “what??? for real??? thats so cool???” and proceeds to be like “omg, when ur w him tell him uve got a friend who wants to have a lesson w him too” and c joins in and says the same. i felt so cool in that moment haha

me, c and d went out to go meet the ppl from school who had been touring all week. before we left i went to pee and literally on the toilet i was smiling sm bc i felt so comfy and happy and all that in that moment like, i was talking to him??? and he was talking back???? and he smiled???? he wanted to talk to me????? i did a lil happy jump sesh after i washed my hands. then otw to school, me, c and d were jumping around and running and yelling. them bc they were drunk, me bc i was so excited abt finally feeling comfy w them + obviously getting to talk to v successfully after crushing so hard on him the past week. i was so happy too bc i finally felt like i kind of belong. i felt for the first time true that like “oh my god, they dont hate me!”. so while meeting the ppl at school i was sooooo happy and like greeting everyone and just smiling and feeling so cool and included and aaaaaaa i was so happy i cant even explain it. c and d r the coolest ppl ever!!!

we went back w s + we left d behind for a bit, sorry d!! now this was when i was truly connecting the dots between s and v. partypooper. i did tag along to the bar w all of them afterwards though. i just went by my place to eat something and get my id.

i arrived to the bar and i sat down next to c at first but later moved next to d so i could sit on the couch. me and c went to buy drinks and then d left to go smoke. there was an awkward space between me and v so i tried to subtly move closer to him and later when d came back he just sat in the spot i sat earlier so i sat between him and v.

more ppl arrived and i ended up becoming squished between d and v. NOW THIS. this changed me as a whole human being. i have been terrified of men all my life and w not specific reason bc the thing is that its not rooted in like, being scared that theyll do something, i just genuinely get more tense around men than women. this moment was so, special to me and not just bc i was squished next to v and our arms and legs were in constant touch but like, i got this kind of realization that, maybe i dont need to be nervous. like, theres nothing to worry ab. i trust d and v. theyre really nice. d i was already comfy w since wednesday and v i just that evening got comfy w. although i am touch deprived i really just,,, felt so happy, safe and relaxed in a group if people, in the middle of two men. i didnt feel the need to fidget out of nervousness and stuff. i was just, calm.

v looks over at me and asks me how drunk im planning to get. he himself says he wants to be so drunk he throws up. i jokingly reply saying i dont want to throw up. he starts showing me a scale w his hands, going down from ten and giving each level its own name so like “this is throw up drunk, this is like this and this is that...” and i end up saying i wanna get slighty above drunk and hes just like “so like a six?” and i nod. he says something along the lines of “thats cool, thats solid”.

later a girl sits next to d and begins talking w her. he starts whispering w v over my lap and i just sit there laughing awkwardly, hoping someone would notice and laugh w me as well. they dont talk for too long but they do this again later and talk for like two minutes straight over my lap and i just use this time to admire vs back and his ear piercings. d apologises and i chuckle and tell him its fine and that i didnt mind (i really did not bc i am truly so touch-starved). d later tells me ab this girl and bc of the music he has to really be close to my ear and talk w me. we talk like that for a while and he says hes glad i understand his situation. long story short, this girl had apparently been trying to flirt w him even though he has a girlfriend. i think he handled the situation really well.

v once again looks over at me, this time as were both kind of resting against the booth, bodies facing each other. he just asked how i was feeling today but it felt so intimate and i was savoring the conversation and eye contact as much as i could. i told him that i was really craving social interaction today so i was really glad i could tag along w them. he acted a bit funnily so i asked him how drunk he was. he said he feels a bit sick. idk why but that convo was so :’) i am TREASURING it.

him and s decided to leave, making almost everyone else leave. i stayed for a bit w a and c and some other unknown ppl but decided to leave after a bit. while me, a and c went out when they went to smoke i saw a bunch of ppl from both elementary and middle school. d, l, n and t. i was kind of hoping one of them wouldve noticed me earlier while i was w v and all the others so they could be like “omg shes sitting next to two guys, i wonder if shes dating anyone of them” or like “omg she has such cool friends now”.

okay, thats all on friday. saturday however, i met up w l for a bit, i tell them ab my crush on v. i sit them down, hold their hands and keep eye contact.

“so on wednesday we had a conversation on tiktok and i talked ab how boy obsessed i am feeling these days, right?”

they continue looking at me, asking me if this is ab e. i dont tell them yet.

“so after i said that, u said ‘well as long as its not d or v bc ik theyre the only friends we have but i assure u there r better alternatives’”

they begin staring at me in shock and yell:

“l! not them, omg! which one is it- no, wait. let me guess... d?”

i look at them for a bit before replying: “its not d.”

“ITS V? L, NO U CANT!” and they kick me as im laughing so hard im falling of the bed.

“IT IS! i have a fucking crush on v!”

we talk ab this for a while and i tell them ab friday and all that and it was sm fun lol

after me and l ahd hung out i went out to a proper party held at school. like dancing-beer-pong-bar kind of party. i met d and some others outside of the enterance and say hi. i then go inside and immediately meet c and c. they bring me to the dance floor and shows me where all the drinks r and everything. i see v playing beer pong. i dont like dancing at all so i join for a bit but leave soon enough. i sit and talk w a for a while. when v sat down on the same couch i was in i told a who was sitting on the other side that she could sit down on the couch properly instead of just sitting on the armrest and so she did and my evil plan worked, i got to move even closer to v. after a while it was finally our turn to play beer pong, we played w just water though. it was my first time playing and i was in the same team as a. she was so good? we played again v and two others. it was so humilating to play against v but my team won thanks to a. she was really awesome. during our last cup, v tried distracting me by hovering his hands over the cup but it literallyt made me aim better bc i could look at his hands TT he only distracted me w his hands and never a.

i left after s arrived to the party bc i got so sad seeing her w v lol but i was overwhelmed by the party anyways lol

sotw: bring me the horizon - alligator blood

#diary #tumblr diary #namuneulbo

[iskeai-needs-more-dykes]

chap 29

putting it under the cut since its so long lol

OK! so he didnt remember her but instantly that would have been suspcious

omggggggg so were working on a paralell universe type thing? mayhaps some sort of rift thats letting her go from one to the other. doesnt explain why her and why would they forget? is it like a universe correction? is there a higher being at play that we will eventually get to see or is that the universe itself?

the comic has a heavy emphesis on 'laws' what with insos laws being common webnovel tropes she abides by. i think it would be very interesting for them to forgo the gods and go straight into a sci-fi isekai. that would be a lot more inpersonal and it would make it a lot more tragic seeing as theres no higher being to appeal to. you just have to hope and pray the universe wont correct itself

alright thats interesting. did she travel back? was she still in her universe and it sort of phased over, him showinhg up solidifying her presence in the beta universe [thats what im calling this universe] i mean she is in her school uniform here so idk. but we know for a fact it was six hours she was gone

LOOK AT HER!!! from the very beginning shes had some sort of abdonment issue idk if its caused by anything specific [though noticably her parents hve not been seen. only her older brother...] but god she loves dan-i so sos sosososo much. i wish theyd end up together but i know shes gonna get w silver haired dude and dan-i will end up with mr blue eyes. still a girl can dream. wish theyd kiss at least once

YOU BETTER FEEL GUILT. calling my girl untrustworthy..tho tbh that scene was iconic.

what. what does he know. dont just smile. ju-in what do you know why are you brushing past this

alright so now everyone is agreeing to not talk with her during school time which is actually bc she wants to avoid the story plot but ummmm they dont need to know that. so i wonder what will happen next? possibly a timeskip or maybe shell end up in alpha verse and then what. they still dont know abt the novel stuff and prob wont unless she says it.

OK well this has been really interesting. usually the whole reveal that mcs not from their universe is rather dull or just brushed off but here its a whole conflict tho the truth isnt exactly out. but i dont think dan-i even realizes it yet since she was worried yeoryeong would be upset at decieving her and when she didnt she felt better. but girlie they dont know abt that stuff. tho ju-in might have a suspicion since remember they told her her middle school didnt exist og wait

no nevermind i thought i realized something but i did not. ok next chapter

#cr: insos law #liveblog

[projectshadovv]

Thoughts on shadamy? Or how you see the potential behind their dynamic? 🥺👉👈

gosh i havent thought that much about shadamy in awhile!! i was REALLLLY into it tho, just as much as i was into sonamy, like i honestly couldnt decide which i liked more.

(under read more cause once again i am Just Talk Talk Talk)

obviously now sonshadamy is the way

but ok well, i think i ship them more platonically firstofall (tho im not against romantically, we just haven't seen them together that many times? i would LOOOVE more interaction with them) and she'd be really good for helping him open up more about his thoughts and feelings, encourage him to be kind and thoughtful. people like to say that Sonic is a lot like Maria, and maybe they are similar!- Maria never got the chance to be adventurous or active though, and in SA2, Amy clearly reminded Shadow of Maria just as he was about to watch Earth be destroyed. She reminded and showed Shadow the actual meaning in Maria's words, what she wanted for Shadow and thats how he was able to save the world.

Amy's a really 'get into her feelings' kind of person and i can see her and Shadow having a few arguements and disagreements and lack of communication and understanding between them. It would def be really rocky at first (while Sonic on the other hand, just *understands* Shadow and leaves him be if needed, or confronts him directly and straight to the point). It would take a long time for Amy to really understand Shadow who's a closed door, and Amy's a open book and maybe that scares Shadow. He doesnt understand someone like her, who is so selfless and kind and lends a helping hand to anyone in need, and maybe he hates being on the other hand of that dynamic- he sees it as being weak, and Amy could teach him that theres bravery in kindness.

On a happier note tho, some activities i can see them enjoying together. Clearly Amy cant keep up with him in combat or speed, but she has a good endurance, and i can see her taking him out shopping or to local game arcades, or maybe help him with gardening. he grumbles and complains at the thought of being around people and doesnt like the center of attention but i think he'd think the experience is worth it

In battle, he'd be pretty annoyingly worried about Amy, she's not as strong or skilled as him and Sonic, or as elusive and cunning as Rouge- and you know, he wouldnt wanna lose someone close to him a second time, so he'd prob jump in front of Amy all the time and Amy would get soooo pissed off at him and theyd just get into a yelling match in the middle of the battlefield and everyone else is just face palming and its sooo awkward for everyone.

Finally, sonic who's known amy like his whole life, assures Shadow that shes more than capable of taking care of herself. Yes she was the damsel in distress in the past, but she's gotten stronger, not only for her friends but for herself and he's seen the improvement. it takes a lot of convincing to calm Shadow and so maybe he tries to work together more as a team with her. He's not used to that, so he'll still mess up and still try to get the most enemies defeated, but thats because he wants all the glory. it's still kinda annoying to Amy but he's trying i suppose!

Or maybe I'm giving Shadow too much credit, maybe he leaves Amy by herself TOO much, leaves her to fend for himself, refuses to work as a coordinated team. He's always worked alone, and when he doesn't its with Rouge, and its more like theyre fighting alone but together- if that makes sense. This irritates Amy cause 'arent we friends? friends look out for each other' and he'd be like, ive always been able to look out for myself' and she'll say 'yes but not all of us are Ultimate Lifeforms like you. What's all your power and strength for if not used to protect those who need you?' and once again she reminds him of Maria's promise. She's really good at humbling him and gently or harshly putting him back in his place depending on whats going on.

Amy of course finds herself stumped from time to time and goes to Rouge a lot for advice, to which Rouge is happy to help but says sometimes its best to leave things alone as she's learned to do when it comes to Shadow. Rouge is kinda relived too, now that Amy's trying to take over as some sort of caretaker for Shadow. Takes some of the stress out of the older girl's hair. Amy can't leave things alone though and just pushes and pushes Shadow until he snaps at her and lets her have it. It sucks but at least he's communicating. Again, Amys not one to back down and tells him that what he does hurts her and his friends. Shadow grumbles that he doesnt care but he doooes when it comes to Rouge and Amy, and eventually learns that to have the girls stop pestering him is to just *tell them* what hes thinking or feeling. He learns its just easier to do that than have them bothering him for days and days.

this is a lot of "amy makes shadow a better guy" so let me think of how Shadow helps Amy for once, okay so obvs i think he'd be up to sparring with her on a lower level to help her advance her skills. She becomes a much stronger fighter. Since she doesnt have the speed he or Sonic does, he teacher her to put all she has into her Piko Hammer, helps her go through rigorous training to better wield the weapon in a more convenient manner rather than just swinging her hammer around and wasting energy when it doesnt hit. He'll even rope Omega in who's more than happy to shoot a moving target. Amy will have to skillfully weave and dodge through it all, or use her hammer to block or deflect the projectiles.

I guess he'd tried to teach her to be more careful of the people she trusted, not to trust so easily and openly. But I think she'd be pretty adamant about it, after all, she trusted him pretty much as soon as she met Shadow, and when she met Omega (E 123 Gamma? sorry cant remember if theyre the same character), along with a bunch of other baddies. She's not afraid of getting hurt or being wrong or trying to be the try hard good guy, she cares more about giving second chances to those who want it. Shadow and Amy agree to disagree but its brought up when its relevant.

hopefully this is good enough?? idk the shadamy fanfics i read back in the day, Shadow was either a really emo guy in highschool or some guy in a gang or mafia, and along came amy this really preppy girl who'd bring him out of his shell and into the sunshine, until one day her life was in danger and he'd have to save her, and sonic was either the villian or some asshole jock kid who get jealous now that amy wasnt always on him, or it was shadow's dad LOL that was THE formula for shadamy fics back then.

#me: huh i dont have many thoughts #me: i am ALL THOUGHTS

[smalltragedy]

* ryan destiny, cis woman + she/her | you know kira blake, right? they’re twenty four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ever? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to babooshka by kate bush like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole lazily stretched out in a ray of light, daisy shaped irises and daisy chain braids, performing an intricate dance to move the ocean's waves thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )

hllo ive hd kira in my head fr a bit bt i also know ntohing abt her! this is me winging it even though i hv no right to <3 this is my third character maybe whose birthday is in honor of ella n coincidentally 2/3 of them r in this rp. yea im messy smirks sexily.

DEATH, GRIEF, DRUGS TW

mini playlist.

wuthering heights ;; kate bush / babooskha ;; kate bush / dreams ;; fleetwood mac / california dreamin’ ;; the mamas & the papas / lavender moon ;; haroula rose / time of the season ;; the zombies / after the storm ;; kali uchis / left hand free ;; alt-j / always forever ;; cults / wait a minute! ;; willow / your dog ;; soccer mommy.

statistics.

full name: kira blake

nickname(s): keely.

birthday: october 31st, 1996.

zodiac: scorpio sun, cancer moon, aquarius ascending. 

mbti & temperament: esfp & catalyst / sanguine. 

label: the ebullient.

sexuality: bisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

born to two original hippies which hs pretty much set up who kira is fr the rest of her life <3 the type of ppl who didnt like the boundaries of marriage n held off frm it fr as long as possible until theyd hd a spur of the moment elopement involving a celebrity impersonator at fannie’s <3 yea theyre lesbians lets go <3

nvr rly took things srsly until kira ws like 5 yrs old n then they were like ah gee ah fuck we probably shld probably settle settle. n they job hopped n worked many odd jobs until they found their footing in careers they liked n one of them probably does like. blown glass art. n the other prob fixes old computers n other ~vintage~ mementos of the past fr ppl.

they make a decent living n they live in delpinius heights n they try a few times fr another kid bt it nvr rly works out (raises an eyebrow. adopted siblings anyone?) n fr the most part kira as a child spends her time running around town and tugging on the hem of other’s shirts to ask them small favors (mostly to play a game with her)

often left unsupervised as a kid, bt not in the way tht her parents dnt care (bc her parents love her a lot a lot a lot like she is their world) bt in the way tht they simply raised her the way they were raised. running amuck all day n coming home jst in time fr dinner, front porch light always on, cat always waiting faithfully on their stoop.

pretty evident frm a young age tht kira’s mind saw things differently, in a different light - the world an array of light n mystery n sound n taste n sometimes those collided n created new experiences. prob hs some form of synsthesia bt dnt ask me which one yet. she’s a painting prodigy with an excellent understanding of color theory.

always ws known as a kind of like. rambunctious kid. a well meaning class clown who cld nt keep her mouth shut fr the life of her. grew up constantly with a yellow card beneath her name in school bt ws always well liked by her teachers n classmates alike.

jst a very bright child who did well naturally bt always ws turned more towards art.

feel like her parents very noticeably turned a cheek when she started smoking weed w the cool older kids when she ws 13. the type of person who wnts 2 b liked so bad she’d jump over a hurdle fr it. hs jumped over many hurdles n many fences n many other obstacles to be liked bt does it without breaking a sweat.

(edit: nw tht i think abt it hwevr i dnt think she does tht anymore i think while a bit of a mess atm she. likes herself. n doesnt rly want or need the approval of others anymore she jst does her own little thing. bt when she ws younger? she jst wnted 2 b friends w the entire world.)

nothing bad rly happened fr like. a good bit of her life. got into psychedelics at some point in high school n tht only heightened her artistic abilities. most of her high school art portfolio ws probably done while high bt <3 does it matter.

hd a high school sweetheart n they were pretty serious like. full on in love. a total believer of soulmates kira ws jst like. this is the one. there is nobody else i cn imagine my life with.

death tw

death tw

death tw.

death n grief tw // yea. sometime during their freshmen year of college. car incident. kira ws nvr the same though she’d like to pretend tht nothing’d ever happened. like theyd nvr existed. like she didnt plan out their entire lives together hiking thru hills n valleys n boating across various bodies of water n traveling together until they were old n wrinkly. end of death tw //

cld nt explain 2 u why kira hd bought a van n completely demolished it only to drain all of her savings remodeling it bt nw she lives in it by the beach. hd dreams of travelling the world bt cannot go long distances in a car without feeling sick. sees planes n feels envy. stopped painting fr a long time bt she’s started back up recently. took on surfing. told her parents tht it ws fine n tht she ws fine n theyre concerned bt shes always by the beach, her van rarely leaves. she’s trying her best bt its only been a few yrs n i think ppl cn sense tht shes jst nt the same cheerful girl as they once knew. end of grief tw //

anyways. tugs on my collar. tht’s kira! she lives on the beach n surfs everyday n is obsessed with daisies n is prob growing her own shrooms somewhere. 

personality & facts.

always been very emotional n a little dramatic. nt a drama queen bt is a little messy n does not hv like. many rational thoughts up in there. very cup full or cup empty.

regardless though she hs an. overall reputation fr jst being. enjoyable to be around. her her little moments bt shes also pretty like. laidback. in a way. KDSHFSDLKHGHFLKSD

prob bc she smokes a lot or is often <3 on a trip if u know wht i mean <3

god. got obsessed with the 60s n 70s aesthetic at some point n hs not gone back evr. big fan of psychedelic rock. is a prodigy painter bt her life dream outside of traveling ws always to own her own record label. hs nt happened yet, maybe will never happen? works at a record shop though n does hide the good vinyls tht she wants away frm the customers.

very cheerful n usually uplifting n she doesnt like to b negative around others bt smtms she cnt control it n smtms thinks tht ppl r out 2 get her jst out of. anxiety. hs long bouts where she’ll sit in a still sort of sadness n then shake out of it n hop back into conversation like nothing’s happened bt. its fine we’re fine kira is fine.

shes not gullible or naive bt wants to believe tht everybody hs a heart of gold even if its false. keeps giving ppl second chances bc she hs a savior complex n thinks she cn change ppl.

is very into zodiac n will judge u by ur chart. knows everybody in town’s natal chart. even newcomers. it’s a little scary hw quick she finds this information bt its very important to her.

kind of like. into spirituality bt i wont lie its very surface level n a little superficial. learning tarot cards bt cannot fr the life of her memorize the meanings so smtms she jst makes up things on the spot. hs so many crystals she will not stop buying them.

i think a part of her is desperately trying to cling onto tht like. think positive. self care. msg thts super prevalent online without addressing or actually helping any of her problems. it is her flaw </3

hates to admit when she needs help. wld rather do everything herself.

head is a little in the clouds n her parents r a little concerned fr her bc shes nt rly doing much rn bt like. she jst needs time i think. shes jst doing her little thing.

does not give up on ppl easily she absolutely hates dropping ppl frm her life even if she grows 2 resent them over time which is bad bc she is bad at hiding when she is upset at someone or when she doesnt like someone.

like shes jst passive aggressive abt it n does not properly communicate <3

bt this is rare i think ... negative feelings abt other ppl

self centered bt not selfish if tht makes sense. she will do things fr others without a problem n sometimes trips over herself 2 do it bt at the end of the day i think she cares abt herself the most.

hs only been in love once bt hs hd many infatuations n many like. admirations n very surface level feelings. her body is a temple n she loves 2 b worshipped.

prob does fkn. beach yoga. probably vegan bt also maybe breaks tht every once in a while. almost noncommittal its hard 2 distinguish between her being carefree, not taking care of herself, or jst hving commitment issues? flaky or not? who knows.

feels jst a bit too strongly bt tries to contain it. jst full of multitudes or smth. idk. icon <3

like. cares bt doesnt care. does thinks tht r purposely self destructive n then acts like shes like. cool girl monologue frm gone girl. bt does it while being like peace n luv on earth x

ok thts all i hv goodbye

wanted plots.

a pseudonym 2 fool ‘em... ;; jst hd this idea pop up bt i like the idea of kira going undercover 2 expose cheaters. whether she does this on her own accord or is personally requested by smbdy is up in the air. a plottable point. she h8s cheaters n is chaotic good she prob thinks shes the relationship vigilante testing the strengths of other’s relationships. once again she cld b. specifically going undercover fr smbdy 2 help them out. im sure she wldnt go 2 very. extensive srs measures like actually. sleeping w the assumed-cheaters bt once again. world is our oyster n i lov drama?

crystal visions ... ;; once again. shes super into crystals n astrology n she will base sm of her opinions of others on it. this is nt just abt her being judgmental of others bt also jst. catching her running around in the rain trying sooo hard 2 fkn. charge her crystals in the rainwater bc she forgot 2 charge them under the full moon the night b4. this is her giving wrong tarot readings. she hs no idea wht shes doing at any given time bt acts like she does know. acts like she knows the entire world. she gives crystals as gifts n will do ur natal chart for u bt will also pack her things n leave if ur a capricorn.

time of the season... ;; i dnt knw admittedly. this song’s abt being horny so perhaps? perhaps. kira isnt rly able to keep a grasp on long term relationships rn due to. factors in her life so she hops frm person 2 person often. smtms jst flings smtms its jst a relationship accidentally led on. shes noncommittal n a little flaky atm when she’s usually ride or die fr others. perhaps this is all in the name of some good fun! world? oyster. 

literally anything .dsfskhdkgs ;; god. shes so new i jst dnt know. childhood friends. current friends. friends shes hd frever. enemies n ex lovers n ppl shes constantly pushing away or scorned lovers or both or anything?? she pushed them out of the roller rink to make more room fr herself or maybe they did tht to her. perhaps theyre both constantly pursuing some sort of fkn. meaning in their lives tht they cnt quite grasp. mayb they go on an acid trip together. who knows. 

#irvingintro #death tw #grief tw #car accident mention tw #drugs tw #specifically weed n psychedelics i think

[aresfms]

「 harry styles. cismale. he/him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 ARES BYERS 」adds me to the squad ! the 「 TWENTY THREE 」year old 「 FINANCE 」 major has been apart of the squad since 「 DECEMBER 2018 」and seems to be the 「 THE RECUSANT」of the group.「 ARES 」is a「 SENIOR 」 and seems to enjoy 「 BOXING AND SOCCER 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !

listen don’t say i didn’t warn you, this is a lil long. but if you guys are interested in any connections ( scroll down to the end for some ideas ) then pls hit me up. im so ready.

okay basically i’ll do a summary in case y’all dont wanna read his SAD story. tw: domestic abuse, abandonment, alcohol abuse. 

Summary: ARES BYERS, 23, SENIOR.

A finance major at LexU.

He’s currently doing both soccer and boxing, but soccer would be for his athletic scholarship. ( he has a full ride )

Boxing would definitely be like more of an anger relief thing and honestly, he defs loves soccer but he knows he can’t rely on that for a forever thing. plus he defs things boxing is good money, yknow that side hustle illegal shit

Loves art like a lot.

 He visits his siblings probably every other day or whenever he can because he really is so protective of them or he’d even bring them to campus all the time even though his “ step dad” hates it.

His relationship with his mum is still super strained because she really is in denial about her toxic abusive situation with his “step dad”  and hes trying to tell her hes going to get her out and she just does not want to.

His mum is an alcoholic and his stepdad is physically abusive to them like most of her past partners which is something ares has been dealing with since he was a child.

hes solely doing finance to get a good job to get his mum and siblings out of the situation theyre in now.

he wants sole custody of his 3 siblings but i mean, he needs a stable job and place to live aka finance

 has 3 younger sisters who he adores.

HISTORY STUFF ( YIKES SOZ ) Its long everybody.

 He was born to teenage parents who hadn’t even graduated high school yet. They had a pretty tumultuous situation and his dad really didn’t think they should have a kid, but his mum thought that it would bring them closer together and make his dad mature…. Which definitely didn’t end up happening.

once Ares was born his dad stuck around for about a year or two before basically abandoning them and offering to give up parental rights to his mum Alycia.

That’s when things basically just went downhill. It really messed with his mum, obviously she was supporting ares on her own with no support from anyone, no family and very little money, at the time she had been trying to go to school but had to give that up once she was the sole provider for Ares. And the fact that someone she thought was going to be her partner abandoned her just led her down a pretty dark path.

It was just his mum and him after this. There wasn’t a lot of stability for them. His mum for a while was the only family he had. his grandma wasn’t really very supportive of his mum having the baby and living with his dad etc and they’re relationship was quite strained too.

• By the time Ares was about 12 he was already probably mature beyond his years, his mum by then had basically gave herself up to alcohol and had some pretty bad shady boyfriends in the house. Ares would definitely still vividly remember like explosive fights between her and boyfriends where things got physical between them and even to Ares from multiple different boyfriends.

His schooling was just.. a mess he definitely repeated a grade or two because of the commotion of home life.

Regardless though he was still VERY protective of his mum even if he felt pretty abandoned by her, he was just confused why she was letting these people come around when they were better on just the two of them. But that really didn’t last long, his mum ended up having multiple other kids with different people.

 So he has Maeva, Orion and Lea who are his half siblings and theyre all under 12.

I  think he definitely grew up faster than most because he always felt an urge to protect his mum and his siblings now especially. he worried about them all. He was definitely an anxious kid.

• His mum ended up marrying but honestly Ares couldn’t hate his stepfather more. He would refuse and still does refuse to call him dad or stepdad because he truly thinks he’s a piece of shit. Like he knows he treats his mum like shit and hes had no problem being physical with the both of them and once ares got old enough he really did start fighting back which only made it worse.

There’s probably been multiple times where its been ares calling the police on him after he fought with his mum but as usual his mum always takes his side which honestly fucked ares up constantly but eventually as soon as he could he was working even at like 13/14 because he was desperate to save money thinking he could help his family get out of the fucking mess they were in.

 His number one priority is and will always be his mum and his sisters even though deep down I think he has some kind of resentment towards his mum he’ll always love her. He just wishes that she would take his side especially against his “ step dad”

Basically though once he was about that age he realised he really needed to start focusing on school, grades and sport anything he could so he had some kind of chance to get into a good uni and get his family out of everything. Like he knew he’d need somewhere he could get a full ride since theyd never be able to afford it and somewhere still nearby so he could look after his sisters still.

 His stepdad knew though that ares was working even when he wasn’t supposed to be and he really took advantage of that, he was definitely beyond lazy and ares basically always felt more of a parent to his sister than anyone else.

 So basically he ended up graduating – late however he was 19 when he graduated high school because of repeats and luckily enough he got a full ride to Lexington university and he really took it within a heartbeat. He ended up choosing finance not because its anything he’s interested in but because he wanted something that would pay really well so he can support his family, but he knew he didn’t have 8 years to do medical school etc.

Personality:

 he can have a shitty attitude won’t lie, like he’s very focused and set on what he wants and needs to do and he wants no one getting in the way of that.

He’s super into boxing to release a lot of the pent up anger he obviously feels and really because he wanted to know how to fight back all the assholes his mum had in his life.

He is can be extroverted and talkative but I think with the people who aren’t close to him or to people he doesn’t have a real trust in it’s probably a pretty surface level. Its never about his family or past in fact I think that part would be something very few if any people know about.

his sisters aka his pride and joy, he probs has pictures of them in his wallet.

He likes to keep things light hearted as a distraction from himself but he definitely doesn’t let people in easily.

He really tries to avoid confrontation because it’s so triggering to him but he does have a temper which is what scares him. He is like paranoid he’s going to become a product of his environment so he goes against that as much as he can but if people come for his family or anything he would lose it.

Can be aloof.

 Has a hard time trusting anyone has good motives or will stick around because of much he’s been abandoned and how manipulative the people in his mums were.

He’s cynical.

 He really holds onto grudges pretty easily.

His ass is pretty sarcastic and witty, a huge smart ass.

 He’s not into commitment right now or he’s avoiding. Like the only examples he’s ever seen of relationships have been a mess and it’s not exactly his priority. ( but lbr  whats the fun in that. )

 He tries to abstain from alcohol but he finds that pretty hard. When he does he tends to drink pretty heavily which is why he tries not to because he knows it obviously has caused his mum so much grief.

 Hes an escapist.

 He’s really super protective though, of the people he does have in his life I think he really wants to give those people the things he didn’t have so he overcompensates and would literally fight whatever or whoever for the people around him.

he hates authority.

•He definitely is really big into art but that’s also something really personal he doesn’t share much and he knows like that isn’t going to provide for his family which is exactly why he's done finance.

Connections:

MY FAVE PART!!!

Long lost half sibling aka the child his dad had after he abandoned him

Someone who is a super good influence on his sisters ( id die for this.. )

Strangers who found out they were hooking up with the same person then became friends or enemies. ( my man a nastie sometimes. )

A FWB someone he can mess with and end up talk a little deeply with bc they think its not serious.

ANYONE who is a kid of one of his mums exes, like someone she dated, bc whew why not.

a rebound, someone he used to try to get over his ex!!

a fucking roomie plssss :) ( or past roomie, he lived off campus for 3 years so defs room for multiples ) this person rlly saw... everything

someone who went on a couple dates/ messed around but then realised omg we’d be so much better off as friends, somoene who rlly has each others back.

ooo someone who has an unrequited crush on him

Or someone he hates but yknow someone who he has mad sexual tension with ( hate meaning they lowkey would ravage each other )

One of his close confidants, someone who is basically one of the few people he can confide in.

An “ex “ who he broke up without much explanation.

His dealer ( smh im the worst )

Some co workers that has his back.

Potentially someone he’s fought against esp someone who does boxing too. es

Someone on his soccer team.

he very into art, so potentially someone who he might connect or do that with, he defs shows stuff sometimes but VVVV rarely.

someone he maybe wasnt that close w/ but he knows from back home so they’d suspect about his home life and he just is not having the prying :)

Honestly any connections im down. THE USUAL, bestfriends, etc etc

#lex.intro #OMG guys bring me like any connections #bc all i live for. is that and drama #:)

[harryseyebrows]

Ooh love that. Is Harry feeling similarly? As if he’s taking advantage of Jeff’s kindness and guilting Jeff into holding him because he’s hurt? And so both feel that they’re secretly using the other?? And if they don’t talk about it in the morning... when do they? Is it later once Harry’s more on his way to healed and ready to move back out on his own? Is it less dramatic and more of a conversation? Is it things slowly reaching a routine that feels right and something they both want again?

Oh! Also would prob be important who asked for the divorce the first time around? Or at least the first one of them to bring light to their issues. Cause whoeever it wasn’t (hopefully Harry :))) is likely not going to be able to swallow their pride and ask for a second chance when they’re harbouring feelings that the other person didn’t want to be married to them anymore so why would they want to date them again

~~

im sorry i always take 900 years to answer these i just like to reread them and think of different answers but then i always get sidetracked aksdjflakj ANYWAY i think yes to harry feeling similarly. like even tho jeff offered, harry can’t help but think it was maybe just an offer to be nice, and maybe jeff wasnt anticipating harry agreeing to it? and now he’s stuck with him etc etc i also think less drama might be nice. they fall back into a routine--obviously not the same one from before the divorce, but something new that feels different in a good way, as well as leaning into older, more familiar habits. perhaps once harry is well enough that he could potentially live independently again, THEN theyd have a conversation of ‘i dont want to be away from you again’

as for who asked for the divorce, im thinking it was maybe a decision they both came to together. there was obviously some serious fighting leading up to it (about what? undecided so far lol) but after a while, its more quiet resignation and eventually they sit down and have a discussion that pretty much just says ‘this clearly isnt working, we’re both not happy, i think we maybe shouldn’t be together for a bit’ which....could then be ‘what do you mean ‘not together’? like a divorce?’ and ‘yes, a divorce.’ and harry being like ‘...oh’ because he thought it might just be a separation/break thing? and jeff is on the other side of it thinking harry hates him and WANTS a divorce so he says it because he doesn’t want to be the one who says ‘no thats not what i meant’ and look like a fool. and even though its hard and painful and really sad, ultimately in the end, splitting up was right for them at the time. they needed it, in a way. because they come back together smarter and stronger than before

#Anonymous

[jin-guang-ow]

ok but ever since you guys brought up pm/qyz i havent been able to stop thinking about it, theyd be such an entertaining disaster couple? none of pms usual methods work bc qyz is so uselessly oblivious and straightforward, so 9 times out of 10 hes the one that ends up flustered instead (qyz definitely accidentally declares to the entire heavens how good pm is in bed at some point and pm just wants to die) anyway what im saying is this is a gr8 ship pls take responsibility for making me ship it

Okay the thing about this ship is that it’s so ridiculous it’s impossible to not love it??? Like??? I’m not even sure what to headcanon with these two!?? Like??? Your Quan YiZhen outing Pei Ming as “good in bed” is p much on the spot he’d really do that????

Tbh, I think for a long time Pei Ming had already been playing around with QYZ, in like a joking way that is (ya nasties), so he’d tell QYZ to say certain things and then watch everyone’s reactions. Basically this is par for course behavior for him???? Taking advantage of QYZ’s naivety for fun???

I do genuinely think Pei Ming would dote on QYZ because QYZ is so naive??? He’d probably give him lots of candies and weird small things he finds (when he’s actually doing something that isn’t a woman bahahahaha)

ANYWAYS so because this ship came about because of my “who’s the best in bed?” poll and it contains Pei Ming, it’s hard for me to think about it in any other light that isn’t the papapa light tbh hahahahaha so please forgive me

I imagine they’d start their relations due to something v stupid, idk it might be like QYZ finds PM in the mortal realm probs surrounded by women or something and he’s like woah dude what are you doing here??? Not v pure of you my dude??? And Pei Ming is all “the four human pleasures are eating, drinking, playing, and enjoying. Right now I’m enjoying”

This makes QYZ v confused like what is meant by ‘enjoying’ and then one thing leads to another and PM turns into Ming Daddy™  to teach our naive god a good lesson

But QYZ is like the worst lay and isn’t v reactive the entire time. You know? Like it’s good, but it’s not blowing his mind which crushes Ming Daddy’s spirit. To be fair, he hasn’t slept with men before, though he was certain that wouldn’t be a problem with his experience???

MING DADDY DIDNT GET HIS TITLE FROM BACKING DOWN AFTER ONE BAD TIME THO, okay????

This leads to him giving QYZ a series of lessons like how to kiss properly, communicating during the papapa, so on and so forth. Both of them get much better, and it just becomes a thing????

Eventually QYZ asks if they’re lovers (since they kiss a lot and that’s a thing lovers do, right???) and Ming Daddy, king of commitment issues probably, is like woah dude CALM DOWN and thinking on his feet he’s just like we’re friends with benefits???? And Quan YiZhen is like awww sweet we’re friends how cool, I really needed one of those.

But that’s a bad idea because now Quan YiZhen is gushing about how he’s friends Pei Ming, and not just any friends but friends with benefits?????

THE ENTIRETY OF HEAVEN IS NOW OUT TO MOB PEI MING BECAUSE HE’S SULLYING THEIR PRECIOUS BOY!!!!!!! I personally believe he’d get beat up for like 10 days straight and someone has to pull Quan YiZhen aside and explain everything to him, which only makes it worse because yes, indeed, they DID do the papapa (and more than once because it’s actually quite good)

Idk they’d probably dual cultivate together, and QYZ says that they’re cultivation partners which might be a better plot for their relationship than everything else I just wrote honestly idk, but the same thing would happen with Pei Ming getting beaten up and everyone trying to explain to QYZ what dual cultivation actually is, and Quan YiZhen is like no he really puts it in, and it’s really amazing so we do it a lot

“No no no, not like putting his hand in your hand, but putting his… thing into your… place???”

“That’s exactly what we do?”

(Insert pikachu meme)

But like yeah, I could imagine it also starting because Quan YiZhen wants to increase his cultivation and he hears about dual cultivation. He doesn’t really know what is really is and assumes it’s just like holding hands and stuff, but definitely overhears that Pei Ming is very experienced with it… and if he’s going to learn to do something… he might as well learn from the master??? I think Quan YiZhen would spend a good year trying to convince Pei Ming to teach him lmao

Idk there def has to be the sad moment when Quan YiZhen gets the rude reminder that Pei Ming is/was a manwhore who’s slept around (possibly still sleeping around) with a bunch of different people and he has to confront his FEELINGS which he’d probably be okay with the fact that he liked Pei Ming, but would be upset with the rude awakening that the feelings may not be mutual or that there’s no exclusivity in their weird relationship (but wow I hate the sadness so I can’t even)

Without a doubt, Pei Ming asks Quan YiZhen to call him “Daddy” but Quan YiZhen literally doesn’t understand. “But you’re not my dad????” “That’s not really the point??? It’s more of a sexy thing?” “Why would being my dad be sexy???” Pei Ming would really try to pull out all the moves and seduce Quan YiZhen in an attempt to make him say daddy, it happens, but QYZ is still confused

Modern!AU where Pei Ming is Quan YiZhen’s sugar daddy someone make it happen???????

Idk, I’d have to reread through the parts with QYZ and Pei Ming to think of ones that are more… domestic??? Lmao really I can only think about it as experienced Pei Ming teaching naive Quan YiZhen how to have a good time :)))))) but i’m v soft for couples like this omg

#long post #asks #thank you for sending me this because then I got rant about it for a long time #:)))))) #tian guan ci fu #this weird pair is a new fave honestly #I really do want like a modern setting #and just??? pei ming takes care of quan yizhen i know it's fake #i know it's so ooc #I know it could never happen #but just imagine pei ming v early in the morning making coffee #and like eggs or something for a very sleepy quan yizhen #(or you because wow ming daddy please) #I didn't really reread through what I put so sorry if it's just a huge mess

[icecreamkink]

so im watching ice princess bc. brain empty. it has been like legit 15 years since i watched it! this was the very first ice skating thing i have ever watched and i was OBSESSED with it when we rented it in vhs. i wouldnt get Actually Into figure skating until sochi but this movie was the reason i was gliding around in socks on the floor and started watching winter olympics as child

it starts w this song that sounds like a ripoff of this OTHER early 00's girl movie song that i cannot remember (or prob never learned lol) the lyrics to and its driving me crazyyy

the ptbr version is called 'sonhos no gelo' aka dreams on ice and i personally think its a better name than ice princess

then again dreams on ice is such a ice show name so maybe thats why they chose not to lol

the music that is playing when hayden panettiere (??) first talks to georgina from gg is. . . weirdly soft porn-y. harold-

OMG WHO IS THE GENERIC "HOT" JOCK. WHERE DO I KNOW HIM FROM

i feel like sasha cohen being who makes georgina go 'omg. moving on ice requires physics!!!and thus Plot' would generate Some Type of dumb discourse today. i cant explain it i just feel it

that tv is very very old .

im so happy that joan cusak is playing an annoying judgy feminist she looks like shes loving it as she should

color coded skaters!

kim cattrall as a scary retired Did She Break A Competitors Leg Did She Not Guess! coach mom named tina is also what she Should be doing

i remember she and joan cusak fight ?by the end? so we are looking forward to That

is this another 'give the girl that the mc has chemistry with a brother for no homo reasons' example; never rewatch your heroes

juniors faking landing quads in 2005? sounds kinda precocious but what do i know

movies abt artistic sports usually Highly overestimate how nice the training outifts are but caseys a woman of the people

georgina wearing kim cattralls old outfit and the yoiness of it all. idk how to feel abt that. blueprint

honestly if my mom hated fs costumes and made me wear That i would definetely rebel

ok listen. i dont Really Know, and i guess the point is that as a Physics Person with Talent she like breaks the barriers or something but . . 'tucking ur arms in' 'pushing with your toepick' are pretty standard things people are conscious of and i dont think theyd make a girl whos been training for a couple months land a double ? would she even have the muscles for that . i mean OK ITS A DISNEY MOVIE IK i Know IM JUST. ok ok

whys georginas token best friend so likeable. get it ann

teddy, the no homo zamboni driver

joan cusack and kim cattralls passive agressive interactions!!!!!!!! ty for my life

Unlikely Complex Computer Program Check

jen! im not dressed for a party! sigh. shake it. ??? eye roll your hair >>>>>

GENERIC HOT JOCK IS SHANE OMEN OMGGGG I KNEW I KNEW HIM

hey! you get paid to be a has been on ice ok. and its Awesome. and its probably more fun than competing all things considered lbr

no but like, its not like georgina couldnt go to college during or after a skating career..... plenty of athletes do that.....

considering she could retire circa 2015, she could even become a youtuber on TOP and capitalize on yuri on ice. joan cusack has no eye for the future smh

but making her mom not simply a controlling academic but instead a working professor regretting probable wasted potential was a smart choice

aw cds !!

'youllbe be worth even more when you win' damn dont hold back tiffanys dad

i feel seen with the way the parents are so obnoxious in this movie

i mean i feel seen bc i had to deal w ballet parents not that i am a obnoxious parent myself, i. i dont have kids

i wish i could say omg thats so dumb as if athletes are always at each others throats like that but uh. on junior level? it happens

hayden panehfd and georgina ending up together would have been so cute sigh

only the girls/women are important in this movie and im into this. rip teddy

zoey bloch sure can rock

i wish i knew how to hidroblade :( or. skate. at all; lmao

nikkis regionals costume was very cute , prize for the jumping bean!! . eh shrimp

so who choreographed georginas programs? tina? did she do it herself? is that why they look kinda meh. why didnt they show it

ok but like. needing to break in brand new shoes is . is it not . common knowledge. :for anything. ?

LIKE im not defending the sabotaging of a teenager but. as a Smart Person who Knows Physics and has been training in a high impact sport and STUDYING IT, did it rly not occur to her that like. competing in brand new, though skates might be a Bad Idea? she figured out how to land a triple in months but not that performing on brand new shoes sounds kinda stupid??

ooo~~ its just like sarajevo~~

JOAN CUSAK AND KIM CATTRALL THROWING IT DOWN YES

the dramatic fight makes it kinda inescapable that they act circles around the kids but oh well

why didnt kim cattrall push teddy to be a figure skater too. like double the odds of a success, seems kinda obvious

its noT MY DREAM MOM. ITS YOURS

*hayden panerimo, voice cracking* anD I WANT *kim cattrall*okay okay thats enough -

drama in the hallwayyy

georgina answering "why are u passionate about harvard" with essentially "im not" kinda iconic ngl

its noT MY DREAM MOM. ITS YOURS²

whys she not wearing the new skates. she already has them now, and for free too

i have never seen an actual frozen lake in my life but are those cracks supposed to be like that

yes it IS a beautiful sport casey tell em !!

kim cattrall was a such a big brain choice. who else would sell 'im not gonna apologize for sabotaging you and taking advantage of ur stupidity" to a 16 year old in a disney movie

"i dont have to like or trust my coach "kjasdkfn casey,,,,, sweetie. i mean eteris girls do win trophies back to back so I Guess In A Way but also.,,,,,, sweetie-

i know that she meant it in a general way, but the Possibility of kim cattrall and joan cusack going to high school together and somethin something Watching and Envying the pretty prom queen/world champion, something being tired of performing feminity something something short skirts something harsh realities of academia and pro sports careers / anywhere for women something. something something.

michelle kwan!! i did not remember her in this

forget georgina and hayden panettone, otp is hayden / ann . hann!! tutor trope!!!!

omg does joan cusack teach at a community college or a encceja type of thing . bitter moms plot thickens

zoey skated to toxic! queen.

i watched this movie so many times in the days i had it rented that i actually still remember a lot of the final programs choreos lmao

skate w the heart uwu

costume prettye

ah!! i used to try to copy the programsss thats why i know the moves LMAO the memories ,,, keep coming back to me

whats this gala lighting all of a sudden???

hann keeps on winning!! look at that hug!they left together! arms linked!!!!!!!

centering the mom daughter relationships is a :'''') for me

we stan nikki

dramedy centering on joan cusack and kim cattrall navigating georginas career

FEEL THE RAIN ON

YOUR

SKIN

NO ONE ELSE CAN FEEL IT FOR YOUU

this was nice :') its confirmed ive had good taste since toddler age 🤷

#ice princess #:') #this was a memory lane trip #filmes #m.

[deadmanzp]

aftg asks; questions by triquetrine

these are so interesting so i did all of them.. i want to come back after a year and see if id still answer the same! 

op is the post before this or also tagged “misc” 

neil josten: favorite/most iconic line?

first one that comes to mind I’m not sure is a favorite or iconic line? but it’s a line i think about a lot and it always hurts to read. it’s when they're at the cabin in TKM. 

“He didn’t care how much it hurt so long as he could pull Andrew closer, and he let Andrew take him apart until he couldn’t think anymore.”

that comes at the very end of Chapter 14 and gosh just the paragraph that line comes from and the paragraph before…. the fact neil thinks andrew doesnt care about him the way he cares/feels about andrew is like….. CMON MAN but also i just love the pining angst of it. i like this line especially because the line right before it mentions neil working his “bandaged fingers into Andrew’s hair”. so the “he didnt care how much it hurt” to me always carried a double meaning of 1. the physical pain he felt bc of his injuries but also 2. the pain of unfamiliarity abt his feelings towards andrew and thinking it was unreciprocal AND THAT HED HAVE TO “WARN” ANDREW like the implication.. of neil thinking abt their “relationship” possibly ending bc andrew doesnt feel the same and maybe wouldnt want to be entangled in whatever neil was feeling …… IM LIKE neil knows andrew so well and him being so sure abt this but hes like …. WRONG …. e

nathaniel wesninski: one thing you would change about the books? (plot, characters, etc)

there is very little id change about the books if at all. mainly bc while i know there are upsetting things that happen/the charas do, i think all of those things make the series really interesting to analyze and talk about. i will say a moment i hated was when neil touches andrews scars when andrew makes it clear he doesn't want neil to pry about them. i know neil offers his scars in turn when he's trying to convince andrew to let neil look over kevin but that was controlled. he let andrew touch them and find out about them of his own volition. neil touches something directly related to the trauma andrew had just experienced again when he had 0 permission to do so. while i always get mad at neil for this when i read it i still dont think id change it or get rid of it. im not really sure how id change it anyways and i think andrews relationship with his scars (and himself in general) is probably what allows him to brush it off(?)/never bring this up (plus maybe neil offering his scars was enough for andrew) but i havent thought too hard about this. but ya i remember i got rlly angry w neil the first time i read this scene and i still get mad abt it when i reread.

andrew minyard: if you could be friends with one of the characters, who would you pick?

i mean realistically i wouldnt be friends w jocks ILL BE REAL LOL and i think as much as i love the monsters, theres no way id be friends w them haha uhm but prob dan would be most realistic! maybe even katelyn tbh.. 

kevin day: if you played exy, what would your position be?

oh i think dealer! in sports i liked being able to do both defense and offense bc it made me feel i had more control over the field, like i could always do something if there were any holes

dan wilds: favorite moment/scene?

definitely the hotel reunion scene. theres so much to it; it drives me nuts!!!!! but honestly there are probably a lot of really good moments im forgetting. to me the whole series is really enjoyable and every scene has something i could say about it haha

matt boyd: song you would love to see in a live-action adaptation?

Oggghh this is so hard… esp since it takes place in 2007???? Idk.. iconic artists then i suppose ghfgkjhf BUT i think general vibes i think itd be so cool if paramore (time relevant), ptv (also time relevant), and mitski were on the soundtrack……. Ya…….. 

nicky hemmick: which made you more emotional, neil at evermore or neil in baltimore?

neil in baltimore for sure… neil at evermore i can't remember what i felt the first time i read it (maybe pain LOL bc he was doing it for andrew and i felt like riko wouldnt keep his promise) but in my latest reread i was unimpressed by it (mostly bc i think riko is boring and unimpressive). i think i mightve said evermore in the past though….. maybe... neil in baltimore is like … GOD neils emotions are so strong during all of that its really juicy haha. i think like him being angry bc he was on the cusp of having everything he couldve ever dreamed of; the desperation of wanting to fight back and get away; even just the fear of being in the same room as his father for the first time in so long... all really juicy 

aaron minyard: a character you will defend to your death?

defend…. im not sure is the word i would use and i dont think i really believe in defending any of these charas “to death” bc of how flawed and complex they are; id like to acknowledge when they did wrong. i think id “defend” any of the characters if i saw anyone misinterpreting or misunderstanding them.. theyre all really interesting even if they didnt get too much spotlight. except maybe riko. hes incredibly boring to me. and also nathan ig and any of his crew just bc there is Nothing abt them rlly...

katelyn: which minor character do you wish you could see more of?

uhhhmmmmmmmm hmmmmmm….. idk maybe… jeremy…. gjfjgkdngmdghs just bc him and kevin r so funny.. i was thinking maybe jean too but…… idk a diff kind of kevin relationship lol (yikes) (pain) but really im satisfied w jeans screen time. i think ichirou is interesting but again i think he didn't rlly need more. maybe erik actually. im interested to know what nicky is like with him :0

allison reynolds: favorite headcanon about the foxes?

actually something i recently thought abt was neil and photography. iirc? andrew gives neil a camera in the ec and i also imagine kevin eventually gets another camera too (i loved that detail when we saw his room at the nest) so i thought abt neil and kevin sharing/trading pics they take of (mainly) scenery. i imagine neil takes pics of anything he wants to remember/keep while kevin is more prone to taking pics of subjects related to some nerd history stuff (lol) so thats why they trade scenery pics mainly. but i like this small connection bc i want more to their relationship than their exy obsession and i imagine they have room for more now that riko is gone and i just like this other commonality btwn them. i think maybe they mail the developed pics to each other maybe w small descripts/notes but thats it. and i also imagine it kind of just is something that started happening.. neil and andrew r on a roadtrip and some building reminds neil of kevin so he snaps a pic and eventually sends it to kevin w some note. kevin replies 1. either a text being like that is nothing. > neil: shrugs brushes it off but figures he is welcome to send more when kevin sends his own picture back or 2. kevin simply replies back similarly w his own photo. i dont know.. maybe this goes beyond what their actual relationship would be like but i do like the idea of them just bein like… dude friends u know so i want them to have more than just exy and a traumatizing experience between them. 

as for common headcanons within the fanbase…. i do like the allison + neil haircuts thing.. although im not sure if i imagine it the same as most haha i feel neil would know how to cut his own hair from his life on the run (though theyre not Good or bad just like ok u know like passable generic w/e) i think hed definitely be tense the first couple times but he has experience w allison being close from needing to be covered up w make up after winter break so i think she would be allowed. 

renee walker: favorite non-canonical ship? (renison, jerejean, etc)

uhmm to be honest none really… im way too attached to canon to be able to dismiss any established relationships. i think kevemy (??? is that the name) is rlly amusing but i dont want them together necessarily haha i used to rlly like renison mainly bc im a lesbian and i want “main” chara wlw relationships lol but i recently read something abt how bi allison doesnt rlly sit well w some bc she outs andrew and neil during the hotel scene.. i also agree this is kinda :/ if she was bi Mainly bc i feel a lot of ppl (or at least this is what i gather from renison stuff ive seen) portray allison already being established bi? if this makes sense. i think if renison/allison realizing shes bi is a later development id feel better abt it but usually renison is already established so ya her outing them does bother me…. BUT aside from this, thinking about them as characters and what their partners (would) look like… im not sure if theyd rlly choose each other.. but i still enjoy seeing them together in art and in fic bc in the end…. im a sucker for women lol….

seth gordon: most underrated dynamic? (matt & neil, wymack & andrew, etc)

my first thought was wymack and andrew bc i rlllllyy like their dynamic especially after reading their ec stuff. i loved their first meeting (andrews terrible sandwich??!?fhdhfjd) and when andrew breaks into wymacks apartment BUT i think ppl mention them enough its not underrated. i Actually think renee and andrews dynamic/friendship is rlly underrated/overlooked!!! especially after reading the son nefes ec i love their dynamic a lot… 

some son nefes moments of them i liked:  tw // rape

renee convincing andrew to go with her to see matt after his trip to edens

how many knives do u carry / one more than u IS SO FUNNY and just andrews persistence abt fighting renee is also rlly funny to me

tw // rape : the moment when andrew asks renee if she killed her rapist/abuser that whole convo was good… 

their convo in the rain w their tea

i cant remember when this happens or rlly exaclty what was said but renee offers andrew something (some help??) and he says i dont need (w/e it was) and she says something along the lines of  i know but it wouldnt do any harm or SOMETHING like that.. i like this bc she acknowledges their abilities while showing shed still like to offer some help. im p sure she does this another time too (w neil???? or someone i cant remember maybe it was andrew again) and i remember liking it too. she has a way w words and talking (also seen in her convincing andrew to see matt)

BUT regardless of ec stuff i think their relationship/dynamic seen in the books is rlly good too. theres def enough to be intrigued by them and i always have been? so i'm reeeaallly happy son nefes exists i loved reading it..

david wymack: which ncaa team would you play for?

oh to be honest i dont rlly remember many of them but of the Three (ravens, foxes, trojans) prob trojans. i remember i even got them in a uquiz once… 

abby winfield: which character was the most realistically written?

first that came to mind was aaron actually.. i remember before when i didnt rlly like him or care abt him it was actually bc he was too “boring” to me. i always thought he had the most realistic reactions to things which is what made him boring to me amidst the ridiculousness of, well, everything in aftg lol… i still think he is really realistically written but now i dont think hes boring haha

besty dobson: how many times have you read the series?

fully i think…. only 3 times… i wish this were a higher count but i actually feel guilty everytime i try to reread it.

riko moriyama: coolest exy moment? (kevin’s last-minute point against the ravens, andrew shutting down the goal, etc)

uhhmm uhmm i def think kevin during the final game against the ravens…. hes so cool haha but i KNOW there were a lot of game moments that i thought were really cool so i cant rlly say…. oh also i love neil being defense in that game too rlly juicy wish i could pull up obscure moments bc i know i rlly enjoyed reading the games but terrible memory...

jeremy knox: which do you like reading more, domestic!foxes or chaotic!foxes?

uh i guess chaotic? not rlly sure exactly what that could entail but i do like… their chaos.. when they have fights and squabbles and stuff… this includes the high tension moments. ALTHOUGH i do like the tiny lines in the books when we see the monsters just doing like random basic everyday life stuff like playing video games or whatever. i like…. imagining them... fhdjfjshfjs… as for fic def chaos. i feel domestic is usually too softened….. 

jean moreau: favorite friendship?

oh i think this goes back to andrew and renee. but other than them… i do like neil and matts friendship.. though probably not the same as its typically portrayed 

#my own #misc

[bubblegumdicc]

I’ve recently been thinking how exactly periods would work for my monsters. see, I hc it as they reproduce with their souls, as most do, which means two dmab or two dfab can produce offspring together, which for two dmab would mean that after soulbonding/soulsex, if they were to get pregnant, their genitalia would slowly shift before the birth to be a puss, so ya know, they can give birth, and of course slowly shift back after the pregnancy. (This also leaves possibility for some monsters bodies not shifting like they should, causing complications and possibly surgery needed)  ((rest under read more since it got much longer than I intended..))

Skeleton monsters however, (depending on how much of a hybrid/mixed they are and magic levels) typically can shift their genitalia whenever they want, so wouldn’t have quite as slow of a shift as other types of monsters and during pregnancy, they might not be able to form a dick at all (I’m not completely sure on this, as it could easily be possible for them to form a dick above the puss, which sounds more plausible tbh, but it’d take extra energy for them to do so)

Obviously in humans, only dfab have periods, but that’s bcuz they have a uterus for pregnancy, so if monsters reproduce by soul and they all have the ability to become pregnant despite their sex, that leaves the question of how their bodies work with that. Normally the uterus bleeds to shed and clean to prepare for a baby and all that. Since all monsters can become pregnant despite sex, that either means they all have some form of uterus/ect(which would mean they’re all intersex/hermaphrodite technically) OR the uterus only forms in dmab’s after soul bonding when they get preg, which I’m leaning more towards.

That option means dmab monsters would not experience a period, but can still become pregnant, which im simply not completely content with bcuz I want them to bleed.

this also brings up the existence of what heats are for, since in the animal world, they go into heat for breeding purposes. after putting thought into all this, periods and heats would technically be the same thing. You bleed and breed.

Theres also subcategories tho, like sub heat and domheats, sub being where they want to be impregnated. So this could occur randomly, some have more of one than the other ect ect.  Heats also vary from monster to monster, some might have heats every Month, some only once every 2 years or something.

Perhaps dmab would then only have a period type thing if they go into a sub heat, which would make sense I think and so far is what I’m thinking I’ll go with.

Honestly this is all just my random theorizing and deep thought into fictional monster anatomy, which all started bcuz I’m a filthy fucker and wanted blood and now I’m thinking really deep into their anatomy and the fact any sex can become pregnant and I’m writing all this out to help myself think and make a desicion on whether or not heats and periods are one in the same or not, and if not, that would bring a whole dif set of questions as to why they have two separate similar things when the soul heat is the only one necessary for reproduction.

how I thought of it originally, the soul would get super drippy when in heat, and other parts, like their crotch of course, only gets drippy as a side effect of the horniness, since sex isn’t actually necessary for reproduction with monsters. And when it comes down to it, the simplest and I guess most plausible option is that they don’t have periods at all, since its all based on the soul for reproduction. But again, I want the option for any to bleed bcuz I just fuckin do that’s why.

So I’m THINKING maybe it’s random and sometimes their heats come with blood and sometimes they don’t, so they’re technically the same, just dif sub types of heat I suppose. Maybe. also im optionally thinking that the soul may bleed as well, since its the main thing, but even if its just dripping juices, i realize theyd prob need some kind of soul-pad thing so they dont leek all over their shirts. THAT HOWEVER might only be in skeleton speices, other species may just drip into their body and maybe expel the excess by pissing? whereas the skeletons have to wear something on their chest bcuz itll leak through their ectoflesh. again, not completely sure what ill go with, but when it all comes down to it, im sticking to my guns when i was asked before if they have periods, and yes they all do.

Also tacking this on as a side thought, skeleton monsters technically have no defined sex from birth, I figure they’re MAYBE born with a cloaca type thing?(essentially just a puss really, since my hc is none of them shit) tho I think dif babies come out differently, it also depends on how much of a hybrid they are, puppet for instance is only half skeleton and was born with a dick, so technically they’d be dmab. I figure most skeletons, especially the less mixed/hybrid ones, simply choose genders for their babies or leave it ambiguous until the child gets older and chooses for themself. (Though some even with a defined sex at birth child would still go with ambiguous, it’s more of choice on how to raise them.)

For further example, ph was born without an ectobody altogether, since theyre a mostly pure skeleton monster. The only reason I consider them intersex is bcuz when they do form an ectobody,  what ‘comfortably’ forms for them is a mix of both parts, but the basis of being a mostly pure species of skeleton is there’s no defined sex whatsoever, so identifying as intersex would be by choice for ph.

ANYWAYS THIS HAS GONE ON TOO LONG AND I APPLAUD ANYONE WHO TOOK THE TIME TO READ THIS and if u have input or ideas on it man, I’d love to hear em. I’m thinking too deep about this monster shit now. also im gonna end this by saying again, this is all just my personal headcanon stuff and of course other ppl don’t abide by it unless they choose to or already hc something similar ect ect.  also also, i want to tack on that i like the idea twigs had about the difference between soulsex and soulbonding, soulsex being where you may or may not get pregnant, and soulbonding being a guaranteed pregnancy. (tho perhaps only mostly guaranteed/or just a higher chance of pregnancy for my hc, still unsure) u can check my headcanon tag for other related things, tho i think the only other thing in that tag rn is this which goes more into how skeletons ectoflesh works

#monster anatomy #skeleton anatomy #headcanon #hopefully this is all in order #it was a lot of random thought i wrote down and tried to organize so it flowed #geddit #flowed? #lmao #ok ok that was a bad pun sorry #theyspeak

[chikotos]

speaking of That my mom is finally recognizing that when I say “i dont feel good” it doesnt mean i have a cold or sth its that Uh, im probably experiencing suicidal thoughts and cant express it well (or at least smth along those lines) and my house has been dirty cuz i havent cleaned in a while or i cant keep it clean and she n my sister cleaned an area and i repeatedly told her not to bc shes always using my sister to do things im not adequate enough to do on time and its rlly not fair to her even if she doesnt realize it cuz like shes only 12 & we dont ever even talk so she shouldnt have to take care of someone 5 years older than her.. and i was gonna clean but I basically slept all day so i could just clean alone at night when I feel safe to walk around the house . i wasnt even tired idk why i slept but now im eerily awake and maybe will be umless i force myself to sleep

its so lonely here and thats only hit me like this year cuz all the time before I would go through periods of hanging out after school maybe.. twice a year? and only hanging out with one person whod have many friends but theyd b my only friend which is a problem i tend to have. but it jst got to the point where im realizing, i think cuz i was in my schools drama program n exposed to lots of friendships, that im jst like ,really fucking lonely. Which is unfortunate because ive always been such an internal person at home and have been able to work creatively but thats all like leaving me? art doesnt make me happy anymore because i dislike my art so much and havent had a platform to share it in so long and i guess I thrive on other ppls opinions of it? and I definitely cant write anymore. I havent been able to zone in on an interest in MONTHS and thats left me creatively drained, a lot. 

I think im starting to rlly, RLLY redirect my complete attention from interests to ppl (which always ends well am i right lads) and it isnt fair to ppl who like, have others and need space and time etc or Uh, dont even know me. but its like a switch like , I can either be creative or i can feel loved and Boy Howdy, do i need both,

its just weird cuz im the only one in my family thats emoitonal like this and I think thats why i feel so isolated. like im not exxagerating when I say my dad has 0 friends tht arent family. my mom has work friends she will hang out with maybe 4 times a year not for work, but shes always complaining abt social situations which I can understand. maybe my siblings r like that too but my sisters young n focuses on minecraft n stuff n hangs out w friends more than me n we barely know each other so its not like id know, maybe my half brother is but whens the last time hes wanted to talk to me right. like i cry all the time and all it does is make my dad angry at memfor being incompetent and make my mom think its her fault and my sister confused and jst takes up everyones time

and its jst all v strange. like i was kinda raised 2 not have friends, inadvertantly i guess. i can remember my mom trying to make me feel better about something along the lines of u can b okay w/out friends if u have family but she jst told me friends dont matter and im never gonna talk to ppl i meet at my age as an adult, so it stuck w/ me and i started to make moral judgements on ppl on small things we could talk out like say, they use homophobic language sometimes but im sure theyd respect me enough to stop, but id make those judgements before we could befriend each other n take a chance, kinda to protect myself from attachments? but later in life ive found ppl who dont do stuff like that, and thats when i focus in on them im an unfair way to them and they r the only person/group of ppl in my life, etc etc and idk how to stop because im so scared of hanging out w/ most ppl alone i guess? but ill still be here, thinking about like example (namedrop bc he doesnt have me tumblr anyways) my friend jacob tht never hung out w/ me outside of school but i fuccin loved that kid n he just stopped talking to me over the summer n ignored my text i send first day of summer and now we see each other and talk briefly but its like he wont let us be friends anymore and smth like this always happens and its So

and tbh how can i expect it to not happen when i limit myself so much n they will have plenty of other close close friends when i dont? and i think ive gotten better but idk anymore. 

and uh, unrelated. I think my dog ive had for 12 years may have to end up being put down this year. hes got cataracts in both eyes and skin diseases and back problems and teeth problems (hes inbred) and hes losing his hearing too and for the past two weeks hes been peeing everywhere and we can let him out but he cant climb stairs anymore n he has to walk them to get to our yard and im the only one w/ the patience to pick him up (hes only 8 pounds) n put him in the yard bc my parents will jst scream at him n my sister doesnt like dogs and hes got seperation issues w me and whines when he cant be in my room which is the farthest from the door out n stuff. and its like rlly stressful my mom will scream at him in front of my sister n brother n me and the other day she said my dad grabbed him by the neck and threw him out on the concrete cuz he peed inside and hes so tiny that thats just gonna make everyting worse and its notmlike i can stop them bc why would anyone listen to me and hed prob b fine for s few more years if he lived in a patient house with ppl who would take him to the vet but theyre prob gonna put him down early snd its gonna b so weird w/out him

when i showered earlier i took s razor with me w/ the intent to cut my thighs, and i did a little, but i never ever draw blood wnd its strange. why am i given these urges when im so fucking terrified of blood. itll still leave marks n stuff but it makes me feel weak ? n ill bruise myself up instead but its never the same. and im such an advocate for help w self harm but i cant for myself. its like i subconsciously want 2 get caught ? idk. i did throw my razor away though and the others i have r rusty and im not THAT much of a dumbass so i dont have options to self harm anymore unless i get new ones. lifehack

and uh lol, having no schedule n it being summer my eating habits r SHIT. it always hurts to eat p much, its at different times n most of the time i just snck only or i dont eat for hours n see black spots n stuff. and when i dont eat its not a body image thing (im nt rlly happy w my nody but its not sth not eating will help with) its cuz i dknt wanna go upstairs for food where my dad is n the snacks r downstairs so its easier, or cuz i forget or cuz i like, want to punish myself? but im too lazy to self harm. its weird

n since ive stopped id’ing as ace officially my internalized lesbophobia has gotten so much worse . im so repressed and lost ans sad, nothinng rly makes sense? I either fall in love w/ anyone who flirts with me or i focus on someone who ill never fucking talk to or see again and imagine countless scenarios n set myself up to b sad. i seek validation from ppl on it but nothhing comes out right or i just cant say it, because other than when i make myself the butt of gay jokes i just cant sven get the words out of my throat that im gay cuz im jst so ashamed and disgusted with myself. ive been looking at pictures of guys lately cuz ive been trying to force myself to like them. back when i thought i was pan it always felt safer bc i could always just love a cis guy or whatever and everything would b okay for my family ykno. and its such a shameful thing for me bc my irl friends who im out to, most see me as v confident abt it at least a little bc im loud abt it u kno, and make all sorts of jokes, and i jst know so many would b surprised or like sad abt that

i want to stop liking girls so much. like holy shit. i have so many straight girl friends and i hate it when they flirt with me because lik, none r my type so i feel nothing but then i feel like i shiuld then feel like No i shouldnt then feel like i shouldnt even be around them bc im a gross disgusting creepo dyke predator. n they always use the excuse of me having a gf so its fine id never hit on them well like, now im single so i have to be DOUBLE careful not to b affectionate w them as im w all my friends and itsssssssssssssmjshfjhdjfhsjdhjshdjshdjhsjdhsjhdjshdk

and i like, think abt this girl alot n yea its romantic even thomwe never fucking talked n rlly i do that w lots of girls and its making me lose out on friendships bc i wanna b their friends somehow bc i think theyre very cool n stuff but i cant stop hodling on to stupid daydreams n idealizations i get to distract me when im sad n its jst stupid like i know its dumb but guess whos boutta keeeeeeppppp doin it??!!!!! boy!!!

and i try so damn hard to talk feeling out, n talk abt who im attracted to n stuff w ppl, n i try so hard to gush but i cant cuz smth comes outta my mouth and then i cant speak past that and no one ends up rlly knowing how i feel, bc ANY time i talk abt anytingngay related abt me its what happens. and i listen to others talking abt tht stuff and i jsut get so god damn JEALOUS bc idk how to express myself 

all these inadequacies n shit is making it rlly hard to see how,im gonna b on my own n its always been like this. at TWELVE YEARS OLD i came to fhe fucking conclusion that i was just gonna kill myself when i turned 18 so i didnt have to deal with all this and i was OKAY WITH IT and i just went through life knowing that and hiding it and so rarely questioning my inevitable suicide as a childc so instead of dealing with all that n my problems n getting better i let myself get worse cuz uh, fuck it right

idk its all just occured to me how im not a fully functioning human being, in seberal if not all aspects of my life, its weird. now that I actively want to live and realize i uh Kinda have to simce ill b the legal guardian of my brother its all very scary

sorr i was all over the place and all the typos i didnt mean anyof them n im not crytyping like, i cried a bit but i jst hate typing kn thsi shitty tablet keyboard, n dont wanna spellcheck. if u read through comgratulations also please dont message me abt like the self harm junk n my dog n stuff like, whatever ur abt to say. I Know my guy 

time to go uhhhhhhhhhhh daydream about impossible gay shit with guilt in the back of my mind

#personal #animal abuse/ #self harm/ #other stuff probably i guess #nya #its long uhh full disclosure i sjt wanted to feel like i was talkin 2 someone nyall can ignore this

[sophiehadder-blog]

Sophink

1) Who rocks the Ferris Wheel seat and who flips out and begs them to stop?

Tink is the rocker, obvs. And Soph, as per usual, is freaking out

2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time?

... tink

3) Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?

i bet soph would be really into it, but honestly i bet they’d equally go for either relaxing or sexy times tbh

4) Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?

Tink/sophie, though like barely

5) Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

honestly it’s probably sophie cause she’d feel so bad

6) Who takes photos of the other while they sleep?

um um um this could go either way tbh? honestly it’s probably tink just cuase she’s more like tech-savvy and shit, but if it was sophie like, back in the good ol days itd totally be her. she was a fiend for photos

7) Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?

um um um i feel like tink said it first but sophie would pull that card in an argument

8) Who likes to wear the others sweatshirts?

sophie’d wear tinks cause tbh idk if she owns like a sweatshirt of her own. she’s too classy

9) Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after?

honestly that first one goes either way- though probs tink would be more likely just cause i dont think soph would have the balls to wake her up. lol. as for the nightmares bit, tbh sophie might have more? i think?? 

10) Who is more likely to cheat?

tink whoops

11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?

Tink makes fun, sophie reminds

12) Who starts a food fight in the kitchen?

oh this goes either way tbh depends on the day

13) Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?

oooooh theyd both initiate the duets but like different kinds of songs. and i bet tink is the better singer

14) Who starts the hand holding? Who grabs the others butt? Who slides their arm around their waist? Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops?

the hand-holding’s p equal i bet, tink does the butt grabbing and the waist though i bet belt loops is just daring enough for sophie that she could pull it off. not literally though 

15) Who likes writes the others name on their wrist?

?

16) Who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed?

oh my god wow soph could probs give tink a run for her money in the seduction thing, aaaand idk who’s louder honestly? 

17) Who is more protective?

Tink

18) Who talks to the other while they are sleeping?

um sophie. that sounds like a weird thing she’d do

19) Who drives and who has the window seat?

since apparently tink can’t drive? (i think?)  i guess that answers that? 

20) Who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed?

oh soph would definitely fall asleep in tink’s lap, she is such a sucker for things like that, but iiidk if tink can carr- nvm she totally could 

21) Who cuts the others hair?

i could see soph cutting tink’s hair, 

22) Who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day?

soph is super bad at sexting but i bet she’d be p good at encouraging messages- though tink would be too

23) Who thinks they are not good enough for the others love? and who’s more afraid of loosing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?

tHIS IS THE SOPHIEST THING TO EVER EXIST even though its like totally also tink but theyve got this weird pity party thing going on 

24) Who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground and kisses them?

tink for both of these probably, though again she might not be able to hold soph

25) Who says shitty puns and sex jokes just to see the other giggle and blush?

tink

26) Who kissed first?

tink 

27) Who orders take out at two in a morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark?

tink for both of these lol 

28) Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs the write for them?

um idk honestly. neither of them? but its more likely to be sophie i think? 

29) Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?

tink/sophie

30) Who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute?

oooomg i bet tink would look the cutest in glasses 

#ask game #sophink #Anonymous

[ferriskilldeer]

from this ask meme

What does your character typically keep in their pockets? nothing. pockets must be free in case he wants to put things in them later :)

Do they consider themselves an optimist? Pessimist? Realist? What are they like in actuality? considers himself a realist. he’s mostly a pessimist, with some optimistic ideas about the people of barovia.

How do they carry themselves around strangers? Friends/Lovers? Family? always polite. a bit less sincere, more ingratiating around strangers. shy and mild around friends. tired around family.

If your character was a work of art, how would you describe them? oil painting -  tenebrism - isolated - articulate - cavernous despair

How does your character express they're comfortable? willing to close his eyes or at least lower his lids, relaxing his posture, asking personal questions of someone else

How does your character express that they're uncomfortable? wide, unblinking eyes and a rictus grin, quiet voice with less inflection. whats quickly becoming a catchphrase: “dont say things like that”/”oh x you shouldnt say things like that”

How impulsive is your character? not too much, but in the heat of the moment he makes some dumb decisions

What is something they cannot resist? cleaning and wine

What is their favorite scent? fresh laundry or fresh water, fruits

If they were in a rock band, what role would they play? bass guitar or keys

How does your character blow off steam? he decompresses a little by fussing over his companions’ appearances

Physically, does your character feel warm or do they always feel cold? cold-natured, but heats up quickly with drink or embarrassment

If they were a body of water, what would they be? pond

Does your character value promises? Are they good at keeping them? yes and yes

Describe their ideal date. something quiet and respectable--a public place where they can enjoy a private conversation. a quick but interesting meal before or after. escorting them to their home and bidding them goodnight. laying awake and giddy for hours afterward

What keeps them going? he’s not built for anything else

Does your character swear? What's their favorite phrase/word? he tends to swear because i do, and “fuck” slips in as a sentence enhancer a lot. if i played it completely straight he wouldn’t swear as much, especially in front of people he thinks are his social “betters”

How does your character act when they want to seem inviting? pleasant, servile, and charitable

How does your character act when they want to seem threatening? he hasn’t tried this yet. probably gets cold, toneless, and petty

Can your character flirt? Are they aware they're flirting? How do they do it? he flirts through compliments or friendly gestures, but gets embarrassed and immediately backs down from it 

If they were a potion, what would it look like? (Color, glass shape, smell, etc.) something light and translucent, maybe green or pink, in a fine-cut clear glass decanter sealed with red wax. smells of soap and blood.

What kind of person would they never side with? the ruthless, the hungry, the unrepentant, the narcissistic

Would your character want to be famous? Why or why not? hell no--he must never be in the spotlight

What's a controversial food opinion they would have? he loves weird combinations. totally a “x on pizza” or “dip your nugs in y” type

How does your character feel about spending money? he’s frugal for himself, but generous when it comes to spending on others

What would they want for their funeral? he wants everyone he knows to come, he wants no one to come, he wants to be cremated, he wants no speeches, he wants a thousand tears, he wants no one to notice he died at all.

If they were a ghost, how would they haunt in the afterlife? funny: would clean up after the living and help out around the house. less funny: plaintive scratching at closed doors, cold spots, sounds of pacing, banging cabinet doors in a bid for attention

Why do they keep secrets? he’s ashamed of being alive

What does your character have too much of? shame and anxiety

What never gets old for your character? Something your character can't get enough of? new food and external validation 

Can your character visualize actual concepts in their head? Or are they just vague thoughts? yes, strong third eye

Does your character daydream? What do they usually keep their mind occupied with? he doesnt daydream often. often goes over lists of supplies, chores, sensations to occupy his mind if he starts to get too anxious

How do they feel about the unknown? frustrating and scary, but cant be helped

How do they respond to condescension? part tight, teeth-grinding fury, part resignation/agreement, self-loathing

Do they consider themselves childish/mature for their age? he’s always thought himself mature. but actually, his self-denial and black-and-white judgment of himself is a bit childish

What makes them blush? impropriety of any kind, and being complimented in any way

What are some ways your character acts silly? makes weird offhand remarks about birds, responding seriously to the overly creepy things others say

What fairytale/myth suits your character the best? the nightingale and the rose prob

What does your character believe their party lacks? power and, if hes honest, a fighting chance

Describe a corruption/redemption arc version of your character. the letter opener demands more and he gives more because hes always been a servant, and himself for the chance at beating strahd and saving ireena+barovia is hardly a price at all. i guess the letter opener eats his soul or something and he becomes cold, driven, and megalomaniacal. probably scares the others and eventually they part ways--perhaps violently, since ismark and marceline dont suffer any sort of disrespect or threat lightly. could only be redeemed if someone can convince him that he doesnt have to bear all the responsibility, and that theyd rather have their normal squishy ferris over an insane powerhouse. hed have to sacrifice himself/his power in some important way to make up for it though, if he did something really bad

What's a texture/sound your character cannot stand? dislikes ripping+scraping sounds, and chunky gloopy textures

Is there something your character isn't very good at, but enjoys doing nonetheless? talking about wine

Is your character good at apologizing? Why or why not? yes because hes very tactful

How do they hold onto people? physically? clasp a shoulder, grab an arm with one hand, or hold on to the fabric at the small of their back. 

What would they never forgive themselves for? killing an innocent person or doing something purely selfish

How does your character feel about growing old? fine, he just wishes hed wasted less time

Do they consider themselves funny? How do they use humor? he doesnt think hes especially funny, but gets a big confidence boost when someone laughs at his jokes, which he uses to defuse tension or establish a rapport

What do they want to leave behind? he just wants to forget his time at cobblepot manor. and he doesnt

Do they talk to themselves? sometimes mutters when hes annoyed

What is their native language? If they know multiple languages, how do they speak/act differently? he knows a lot, but the further they get from elvish or common, the more formal and archaic they get

What makes them a hypocrite? though he holds high standards for himself and others, he relaxes his standards for others quickly (“oh what did i expect anyway, im the responsible one here”). also will decry needless violence or murder, even though he murdered his boss brutally in the guy’s sleep

If your character was under quarantine, what type of quarantine person would they be? (Productive? Hobbyist? Lazy?) very productive. flits to new hobbies quickly

What does freedom mean to them? confusion, terror, excitement. its the only thing that would make him really happy, and he doesnt want it

What is something they currently look forward to? What is something they dread? look forward to getting a reward from the burgomaster. dread seeing strahd again

How has your character's mental health been recently? not great! but hes been holding it together because marceline is already upset and ismark is volatile. theres not room for his feelings.

If your character had wings what would they look like? sleek, pointy, fast-flying, well-preened, earth tones. falcon for efficiency, owl for discretion, or towhee for smallness

How does the way they act seemingly contradict their ability scores? very high cha abilities that he rarely uses, since marceline and ismark are more assertive. notably an intimidation score higher than marceline’s and equal to ismark’s that he would probably never use

What's a habit that needs to be broken? he needs to learn how to aim eldritch blast (i need to roll better)

What's something your character has realized? hes fucked

Who do they go to when they need to bounce ideas off of someone? suggests things to marceline and ismark (the other PCs), but makes a point to ask ireena (DMPC) what she thinks

Who do they go to when they've had a nightmare? nobody

Who does your character think is the most put together in the party? marceline or himself

Which party member would they pull a prank on? Who would they plan a prank with? ismark; marceline or ireena

What is one thing they want each party member to know? marceline: no matter where you come from or what youve done, youre a precious ally and friend to me. we are all unhappy here, so please just try to play along. ismark: you need a goal beyond protecting ireena and killing strahd because if you achieve those goals then youll be left adrift. and you deserve better. please stop yelling at, lying to, or trying to fight everyone we meet. ireena: you deserve more than life dealt you. as long as you live, there is hope for you. youre loved and protected by a lot of people, and its a happy burden.

Which do they value more?

65. Adoration or Intimidation? adoration

66. Outward Passion or Quiet Rebellion? quiet rebellion

67. Selflessness or Self-Preservation? selflessness

68. Objective or Subjective? objective

69. Journey or Destination? wishes he could say journey, but its destination

[sophiehadder-blog]

sotou u know u want it

1) Who rocks the Ferris Wheel seat and who flips out and begs them to stop?

lol i dont think either of them would rock it, theyd be too busy looking out over everything like fucking sentimental assholes 

2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time?

i?? dont?? know??? neither???? theyre so boring??? (like tbh its more likely to be sophie but even then????)

3) Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?

oh its totally sophie who’s more into baths but its never for sexy time, its like chill as hell though

4) Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?

um? wow i feel like they both have too much of an #image for this to be a thing? idk? I mean like its acceptable for lou to walk around without a shirt so like, him? I guess? 

5) Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

sophie, i still maintain that it’s always sophie who does this, she feels so bad

6) Who takes photos of the other while they sleep?

um. lou? Mr photographer man? 

7) Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?

oh sophie would probably blurt it out first, but lou is toooootally the one who pulls that card in arguments. i know your technique lou

8) Who likes to wear the others sweatshirts?

oh soph would wear lou’s pulls like all the time. her favourite’s the yellow one.

9) Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after?

oh wow i mean out of the two of them its prooooobably sophie who’d wake lou up, but like it’d have to be a fuckin /great/ dream. as for nightmares i think lou has sophie beat for that one, poor guy has shit luck. but sophie would absolutely sing him back to sleep, itd be really shit singing but itd be all french songs deff

10) Who is more likely to cheat?

..neither? idk man? 

11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?

hmmmmmmm honestly idfk theyd switch off probably. depends on the day. 

12) Who starts a food fight in the kitchen?

a very daring sophie tbh. though realistically lou’s gonna win that fight

13) Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?

oh sophie aaabsolutely initiates the duets and idk who’s the better singer its probably lou honestly just cause soph really is awful

14) Who starts the hand holding? Who grabs the others butt? Who slides their arm around their waist? Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops?

oh lou starts the hand-holding without a doubt. butt grabbing probs isn’t really a thing? the arm around the waist though is definitely soph cause like there’s only so much she can reach and consequently she’d probably also do the belt loops. again though, thats a daring sophie

16) Who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed?

tttbh i bet drunk sophie could give lou a run for his money, but like not by much. and soph’s probably louder 

17) Who is more protective?

lou, without a doubt

18) Who talks to the other while they are sleeping?

umm idk man sophie? probably? it sounds like a weird thing she’d do

19) Who drives and who has the window seat?

they switch? probably? 

20) Who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed?

again this is sophie, she’d totally fall asleep in his lap, she’s such a sucker for things like this. 

21) Who cuts the others hair?

soph cuts her own hair and she’d probably offer to cut lou’s but like would he say yes??? probably not?? 

22) Who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day?

sophie is awful at sexting, but p god at encouraging messages, though i bet lou would be too 

23) Who thinks they are not good enough for the others love? and who’s more afraid of loosing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?

oh that is so so so so sophie like without a doubt. like we’ve already proven that she always thinks that she’s messing up so is anyone surprised? this is basically already the thread we’ve got

24) Who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground and kisses them?

well soph can’t hold lou above the ground so that answers that. and theeeeen they’d probably be p even on the dancing part cause like its sappy and seems totally right up their alley 

25) Who says shitty puns and sex jokes just to see the other giggle and blush?

lou probably. but like, drunk lou 

26) Who kissed first?

uuuuuuh?? sophie? 

27) Who orders take out at two in a morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark?

um i feel like the takeout at 2 is a collective decision buuuut maybe soph would wake up lou for the water thing? partly cause she feels like she could get away with it, but realistically she just wouldn’t

28) Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs the write for them?

oh man they’re such fucking artsy people that i bet this has to happen at some point, right? idk though 

29) Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?

um. neither of them, i think?  they’re both p cautious, though arguably lou less so but thats a circumstance thing....

30) Who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute?

does lou have glasses? he seems like the type who has glasses? either way if he wore them soph would think theyre super cute cause like they are. whereas if sophie wears glasses she just looks like grandma and its terrifying

#ask game #sotou #Anonymous