#this might be the shittiest of my shitposts

[mariasversion]

will and hannibal playing animal crossing (new leaf)

will has a black 3DS and hannibal has a pink one (will told him it was the last one even though it wasn’t because he thought it was funny to watch big scary hannibal playing a pink 3DS and complaining about “rude” villagers)

hannibal bought them matching carrying cases (he’s extra like that) and always reminds will to use them because he forgets and leaves his 3DS wherever

they first tried to share a town but it didn’t work (they couldn’t agree on anything and kept getting irritated with one another)

hannibal town’s name is probably an obscure reference no one in their right mind would get

will town’s name is probably something silly (he doesn’t really care about the town’s name) or a reference to hannibal’s obscure reference

hannibal town’s flag is something related to the town’s obscure name, will town’s flag is a fish he drew

hannibal cut down all the trees the first chance he got and then planted them all again in an “organised and civilised” way (he also organised all the flowers)

will just plants whatever wherever, he doesn’t really care if the trees and flowers are all over the place

hannibal spends most of the time “improving” his town, doing public work projects and setting town ordinances (he says the only respectful character in the whole game is isabelle because she helps him improve the town)

will spends most of the time fishing and catching bugs, he literally could not care less about how many benches there are in his town

hannibal’s house has like four floors and all the rooms are super big, all his furniture is elegant and stylish (he also buys records all the time, every room in his house has a record player that’s constantly playing something)

will’s house has like two rooms, it’s barely furnished and full of fish in their little tanks (will thinks tom nook looks sketchy and refuses to go to nook’s home)

when they visit each other’s towns will tries to steal all of hannibal’s fruit and hannibal tries to organise the whole of will’s town (they chase each other with the axe or shovel while the other tries to do this)

#i was playing animal crossing and i thought to myself how would they play #and then this happened #this might be the shittiest of my shitposts #but it was fun #animal crossing #animal crossing new leaf #nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannigram #murder husbands

[huggingtentacles]

I'm gonna culturally appropriate the term boytoy and call my Elden Ring character Malenia's Girltoy. Sorry but boytoys will have to fight me about it.

#elden ring #shitpost #invader talk #this might be my shittiest post yet #if you have any questions about this post: i have questions too i don't think when i post #''op what the fuck does this mean'' fuck if i know

[francy-sketches]

twow leaked scene

#asoiaf #my art #this might be the shittiest quality ive ever posted lmao #so im not tagging it properly lol #but yea its jonny c and tommy b if for some reason u cant tell lol #anyway cant wait for jon's epic child murder moment he deserves it #fr tho if tommen does die i hope its jonno who does it #not hope as in like...im actively rooting for it to happen i just think it'd be the best option #is it junst bc i like joncon maybe #also idk it's like..if he kills him its bc he thinks he's bobby b's kid right #so its like. dramatic irony #bc you know the kids were said to be blobby's and not jam's to protect them right. but then the opposite happens u know. drama #idk im not making sense lol why am i rambling under a shitpost #well tought out posts? nah. incoherent rambling in tags? HELL YEA #but yea it's also bc i like joncon and i want hiim to be as relevant as possible :) and do some child murder :)

[spaceheatertrash]

MCYTTWT?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING MCYTTWT GOD DAMN FOOL DISCOURSE COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD COMMUNITY SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OFF OF THE INTERNET COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING MCYTTWT

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT MCYTTWT I HATE IT SO MUCH WHY DOES IT HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP THREAD WHY DID IT DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST LEAVE US ALONE IS IT DEAD IS IT A BASTARD COMMUNITY HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN ON THE SITE NEVER SEEN THESE PEOPLES FACES AND I KNOW THEY HAVE THE WORLDS SHITTIEST VOICES GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said mcyttwts waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with mcyttwt invading mcytblr in person on site in anon not only will i close the tab i will delete my app and account out of spite and have to refollow everyone again for the experience of being able to tapeworm all the new mcyttwt tumblr blogs as they appear

i dont even know why i hate it so much. it writes stupid //neg but i am just mad because i am angy

it better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if its just some bored kids with zero reading comprehension and internet access ill go ham

BETTER have had a community shitpost written about it cuz if it didnt then im going to make one myself

paypal.com/IFuckingHateMcyttwt

posts not even about it. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be a discourse and I lost it

where the fuck is mcyttwt if its still around im going to so deeply wish it wasnt

crusty ass community

I'll punch mcyttwt and its sad frail rancid community twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist until all that's left is one final tweet that was all the way down the dash simply saying "Now you've fucked up" in Ancient Yiddish

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when mcyttwt died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the subtwt that had so many fucked up tweets

---

Blockquote by @heelysboo from Here And I think, @apollos-boyfriend​, that you might enjoy this

#leitner rant but make it mcyttwt #mcytblr #mcyttwt #mcyt #i think this summarizes how we feel about mcyttwt #blank shitposts #/copypasta

[arathergrimreaper]

Y'know, this is gonna sound weird as fuck and maybe it's just the heat but I was thinking about it in my car today.

Being on Tumblr...is like the shittiest privilege there is. I mean, not everyone has access to the internet or even control over their internet experience when they do. Those that have both those things are usually scooped up by more mainstream social media and that's where they stay. They might see our screenshots here and there but they don't get the full Tumblargh experience.

As much as we like to bitch and moan on here about the site and the douchebags we regularly run into on it, how many of us have heard of concepts we otherwise wouldn't have unless we were lucky enough to sit in college lecture halls or a therapist's chair or even just picked up the right fucking book or found the right fucking friend when we needed to? Tumblr, for all its faults, has educated me a lot. Not just about the world around me, but about myself. I have been made to feel like a damn genius just because I offered someone in meatspace who has never been on here the same comforting words or advice I received when I was in a dark and lonely place. Not just the jokes and the shitposts, but honest to Gods words about how worthy we all are and we shouldn't have to constantly prove that to keep the gears grinding.

Maybe, we just have to take the good with the bad and accept that with as much frustration and wild speculation that comes out of this damn site...we get some wonderful things too.

#misogynistic slurs

[pengosolvent]

really frightened that i am lacking something essential and will never be able to be a skilled or creative artist no matter how hard i try. equally frightened that i have sabotaged my own progress in various ways and have wasted years backsliding and will never “get back” any skill i did previously exhibit. do you have any suggestions for how to continue to produce art and improve even when constantly suffocated by fear

anon this is a common but unfortunate occurrencei feel this a lot too this is a very long reply because i think about this kinda stuff often, so there’s a readmore

i’ve got some advice for you, though i’m sure you’ve probably already heard some if not all of this before, so i don’t mean to talk to you like this is new magic info, but just reiterating stuff that i try to keep in mind that might work for you tooalso i want to point out that i’m not a professional remotely, so the things i’m stating are completely from my own personal experiences ….. and also i struggle with perfectionism and other things so while i give this advice i also still have trouble with the problems noted and also i use a lot of examples and comparisons when i talk because its easier for me to understand things that way

anyway:

1- you are the person who sees your art the mostthis is a very obvious thing, to state but it ties directly into a lot of what you’ve statedyou feel you lack something essential, you feel you’ve backslid and lost previous skills, and youre afraidbut think about the other art you seeyou ONLY see the end result of what everyone posts… or even if people do post in-progress pictures or speedpaints, you’re not really seeing the “scope” of it with in-progress pictures, you don’t know how much changed or how much was erased how much time was spent how much etc with speedpaints, you see all the progress but its sped up and it’s easy to feel like all of that was done faster than it really was even if youre aware its sped up

and even if you watched a realtime video of someone drawing… theres thousands of hours outside of that video of this person doodling, and even THINKING about their art that you havent seen it makes other peoples art feel a lot more.. confident? secure?

for your own art however, you are fully aware of the struggle of every line because you’re the one doing it and thinking about itit might make you feel like you’re trying so hard when everyone else has just Got it

2- experiencing art as a consumer vs a creator is a different feelingthis is directly tied to the previous idea but it’s easy to feel like you lack something essential when, instead of consuming the art, you are the one producing it 

here’s an example: i love horror contentnot all of it of course, but i love horror that really makes me think and makes me see a characters motivations and really digs in deep psychologically and sticks with you even after you’re done experiencing the media

however it is very very hard for me to make anything that is strictly horror. for a long time i thought i was just bad at it, but i realized later that i’m not missing something that helps to write/draw horror … i just experience horror different based on if i’m consuming it vs making it part of the horror appeal to me is the MYSTERYif i am writing/drawing horror, there is NO mystery! i know everything there is to know about the situation i am making! i know all the character’s motivations, i know everything there is to know about every tiny detail and even if i am writing something where i don’t know what happens so it’s a purposeful mystery (such as in this comic where i don’t know what happens if you take off the tinier beak) it sometimes feels less Cool Mystery for me and more like “oh no i don’t know this thing, oh god, i’m a bad writer”i’ve gotten over that little by little, but it’s still hard to shake that i’m “missing” something with work that ISN’T mine its easy to put meaning that may not have been totally intended and THINK that the person meant it, and thus feel like that thing is more thought-out than it actually is

you might be experiencing something similar with art… where it feels like when you see OTHER art, you feel happy or like theres a meaning there etc but with your own art, you can’t capture that same feeling… it could literally be because you know what youre going for and what youre doing because youre the one doing it

3a- old art feels better sometimes because it is more removed from youyou know better than i do in this regard if this is true to you, because sometimes people can genuinely get rusty and lose but for the most part older art tends to feel better due to the fact it is becoming more and more removed from your current state and mindsetold art starts to slowly get treated the way you read Other people’s art because you’re not staring at it constantly and you start to forget the process and effort behind the old art

sometimes you can’t see well if your new art is “better” or not because it is too current on your mind and you know how hard it is to make and if it does or doesnt match what you were going for or etc etcmeanwhile your old art starts to be viewed more objectively because you dont remember every difficult line with it, and you can see it as a bit better because you’re not bogged by the negativity

3b- even if you fell off, you can regain the skill

even if you DID get worse over time… you did it once before and you can do it againyou can learn from your old works, but also try to learn from your old mentality a lot of my old stuff was more expressive and emotivei could learn to do that again mechanically, imitating my old stuff, but a big part of why my art was that way was because my mentality was different back then i was louder, more open, etc etcthink about what’s changed within you to see reasons for things changed in your art

4a- fear only works if you’re afraid of being badit is important to be able to see ways you can improve… but it’s also important not to fear that you have areas that CAN improveif you view “making something bad” as a punishment/negative outcome your fear directs itself through all your art

the easiest point fear can attack is starting to draw at allbefore you start drawing its very easy for your mind to go “why do this? why try if it’s just going to be stressful” and all through out the process that ramps up like “see it’s just stressful why do it”

your fear seemingly offers you something to gain if you don’t even try: avoiding the pain of art altogether

but what if you were unphased by that pain? if you don’t care about making something bad, that fear can’t manifest

some artists start their day by drawing the shittiest thing they can to shake off rust and have fun doing it … drawing a cartoon character from memory, drawing and overly rendered shitpost etc now i’m not saying not to care about your quality and take a ton of shortcuts and blablait’s still good to want to learn and improve it’s just that you have to start rearranging your perspective on your steps to achieve that

4b- no-stakes neutral is no problemhow do you get rid of that fear? how do you stop feeling being bad is.. bad?

try to view arts range as neutral to positive (as opposed to negative to postive) because at it’s base that’s exactly what art is what i mean by that is…let’s say you’re trying to draw a cat (and it’s not a commission or anything). your first attempt does not look anything like a cat this is not a “bad” thing though it may feel that way your failed attempt at a cat has not stabbed you or taken money or food from you or in any way truly inconvenienced you

the base idea is that you drew something and it wasn’t what you wanted this is completely neutral.. it’s like going to look for a new shirt. if you see shirts you don’t care for, you move past them until you get to the shirt you want.your “bad art” is just that. a bunch of shirts you don’t want til you find the one you’re looking for… you don’t have to pay anything for those “bad” attemptssure they take a bit of time and if you don’t have a lot of energy you might feel bad to use it on a drawing that you don’t enjoy and it can be frustrating if you keep trying to no avail, but all in all it’s not a stark negative

art isn’t a straight pathit’s winding, it’s really confusing , and it can be tiringbut if you go down a path that’s a dead end, you just try another pathdon’t fear reaching dead ends, there are always more paths

chuck jones (an iconic animator) said he had to draw multiple drafts to get expressions just right failure is in the eye of the beholder… he felt the first drafts for those expressions did not fit what he wanted, but he didn’t fear failure because of that even if the art was not by his standards, he continued until he got the one he felt was appropriate

it takes patience to get to where you wantif you stay patient you will eventually arrive there

5- drawing and thinking go hand in handart is a blend of being able to draw and being able to problem solve through what you already knowwhen i get stressed with art it’s usually because i don’t know what the hell i’m doing with no way to check myself if i’m close to what i want or not with me it tends to happen with backgrounds or animalsthis is why ppl typically suggest learning to draw cubes, cylinders and spheres from any angle because then you can transfer that base knowledge into other objectslike, cubes can be used to draw rooms, boxes, screens, fences, etccylinders can be pipes, water bottles, arms and legs, etc

transfering base knowledge is essential in art and understanding that you can do that, even if only as a base, helps a lotwith learning how to draw a mouse, you have a starting point for learning how to draw a rat (comparing the headshapes, sizes, ears, etc)… then you can use these two as a base point for drawing a squirrel, then a rabbit etc

another example could be maybe you know how to draw claws but not fangs… you can interchange the shape of a curved claw for a curved fang easily

starting with something you know and figuring out how to transfer the knowledge is very important and can help lessen that stress because instead of not even knowing where to start, you can problem solve to figure out what you already know under different termsits just all about knowing what connections you can try and learn, and working “smart”

on that vein… 6- perfecting things doesn’t make perfectit’s very tempting to make every tiny detail as good as you possibly can… but it’s very daunting and time consumingyou should try to work “smart” here too and now what i mean by that is … say i’m making a comic. i can make the comic to the absolute best of my current ability and take forever and become extremely drained Or… i could decide to try but still set a deadline for myself, and not worry TOO much about the smaller details why is the second one better? because i will get it done. if i try very very hard my ABSOLUTE best on a comic, making sure every single line is perfect, in a few months that comic will still be outdated. it will still get old and the amount i learned from it is limitedif i give myself some leeway (still trying of course, still learning and challenging myself) and set a deadline, i learn to be disciplined in my comics, i get a comic finished, AND i learn more because i am finishing more work in general

this is a really helpful video that explains this point more in depth 

this isn’t to say you need to take the easiest routes for art that are availableit’s more like… back to the comic example, let’s say it’s like making a cake i can be a huge perfectionist about my cake, carving everything exact and putting every drop of frosting as exact as i can… but i’m still not a “master” at this i’m still learning the next time i make a cake i’m going to have to do the same situation … take forever to try to make the perfect cake

if i make a cake and still try, but accept when i don’t know how to get the exact result, my first cake is going to be a bit of a mess, but the next cake i make, i’ll be a little closer and in the time it takes Perfectionist Me to make 2 cakes, i might have already made 10 and i’ve sped up the process now and improved because i’ve learned a lot with those 10 cakes

there’s probably more that can be said about art, but i’m hesitant to try to dictate too much about how you experience your art and go about it i hope that this can help you at least a bit though

#nonbonart post

[toukenra]

Hello! Since tsurumaru is such a tease and loves to play pranks what would happen if he unintentionally hit one of his s/o's insecurities? How would he make up for it? I love your blog btw! ^ - ^

Thank you sweetie but honestly I’m just cracking bad jokes or shitpost half of the time instead of actually working so I don’t know what’s there to like about my posts haha ( ‘_>’)

he really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings

but sometimes he’s just so invested in his little pranks he doesn’t even notice how insensitive he can appear

even makes fun of you when you tell him to stop for now because he doesn’t realize that he really hurt you this time

as much as you loved his playful and cheerful behavior this was just too much for you, so you start crying and slam the door in his face

crane boy is shocked

he’s so screwed

feels like the shittiest person in the world

his heart is clenching in his chest at hearing your muffled sobs and he just wants to run in and apologize to you immediately but he realizes he doesn’t even know where he went wrong so in the end you might end up even more upset and that’s the last thing he wants

so he just slumps down in front of your room and tries to process what he said to you

when he realizes what he did wrong, he just storms in and falls to his knees, hugging you tightly and just mumbles ‘I’m sorry’ over and over

he really regrets what he did wrong and doesn’t let you go while you’re quietly sobbing into his neck

you can’t be mad at him for long anyway

licks all your tears away until you even start giggling because it tickles 

cups your face and starts kissing your nose, your cheeks and even your eyelashes until both of you end up in a heated make up session

will jump out and cuddle you out of nowhere for the rest of the day because he still feels bad about before

you’re really happy about this since you already forgave him a long time ago but wait

‘’Did you just pust a ‘kick me’ sign on my back??’’

gets kicked

#ask #anonymous #tsurumaru kuninaga #Touken Ranbu #Mod Pancake

[dragon-winging-stylized-suc-blog]

What happens when you crossover digimon, jojo’s bizarre adventure, and a dystopian horror fic and shitpost it all? P1

It was only when I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, like how i wake up in the mornings only in the middle of the night, that I realized what was going on while i slept.  Looking over at my computer, which i normally spend my days writing shitty fanfictions on wasn’t off like I’d left it every night and found it every morning.  It was on, and not just on, but completely on fire too.  Not the monitor, the tower was on fire.  I brushed that off though, because I’m a shitty writer who doesn’t like his stories dealing with heavy themes of loss and soul searching for a new place to live, so the fire is now retroactively being changed to a pinkish-grey fire that looked vaguely like it contained an egg.  Now, being one for completely spontaneous inciting actions to his own stories, I was keen to get up and put on my goofy 4 layers of clothes so I looked like some sort of final fantasy jojo’s bizarre adventure double reject who stole from both costume departments.

When fully dressed after about twenty minutes, I took my long shaggy hair and put it in a pony tail to avoid it catching fire (thinking nothing of my nigh-impossible outfit’s 15 different flamable materials) and reached deep into the 30 or so cubic inches of total fire and pulled out an egg.  But not just any egg.  A deus ex machina digi-egg that probably contained a digimon.  Why did I think it contained a digimon?  Because when I checked my other hand that wasn’t containing the egg, i found what looked like a digivice.  Now, being a huge fucking weeb I had like 20 of these around my room but this wasn’t one of my 20 or so collectable digivices.  It was more of a shitty wooden knock-off digivice.

But that’s when I realized, that this story needs a three act structure and having all of these events happen in a completely vague ‘room’ that’s mine wouldn’t make much sense so i backpedaled my writing to retroactively include a description of my room.  There was a big wall of mirrors made by me coincidentally having a big dresser covered in mirrors given to me and my closet having mirrors for doors leadi ng to me having a total of a metric shit load of reflection in my day to day life leading to me having an extremely intense feeling of self deprication and internal reflection on my actions and their driving emotions.

Those mirrors aren’t the only thing of note, however, as I have a bed that literally takes up 2/3rds of the rest of the room.  Aside from it is a thin pipe of room that my desk connects to my dresser covered in mirrors in.  On the opposite side of this corridor is my doorway.  I don’t have any light besides that of my computer monitor, which is fine because there’s not much to navigate as far as finding my way out of the one straight path in the entire room.  As for the computer, which has since grabbing the egg extinguished itself, it’s just a store bought shitty computer that can’t even run the sims.  I don’t know how i manage to enjoy playing on it, but I’ve played enough tower defense games to know their ins and outs perfectly.

Looking around after settling into my chair with my new egg and digivice i was a bit confused as to what to do.  I couldn’t really very well just run outside and start a grand adventure anywhere with my new digipal as he’s still an egg and i have work in the morning, my job consisting of cracking eggs for the world’s largest resteraunt chain “EggDonnie’s ™.”  A megacorporation  that could be seen as an evil force in the world if not for the fact that there’s really nothing evil they do except pay their shitty employees poor wages.  And at that, I love my job so I have no reason to even oppose them.

That being said, it’s also the middle of the night so I just sat in place, a little peckish and hungry and slightly groggy from just having woken up from my bed moments ago.  So i did what I always do when I don’t know what to do with myself, I went soul searching in my car.  Stepping up out of my room i snuck through the rest of my apartment, past my sleeping room mates with wooden digivice and egg in hand, and crept out the door like normal to dance lightly down the stairs to my car.  When I finally got inside it I sat the egg in the cup holder and digivice  up  under the radio in the resting spot I normally set my phone when i had it plugged in.  Snapping happily to attention I snuggled the keys into their postion and flicked my car on.  Only...when it snapped to life it didn’t purr like normal, instead roaring to life with a passionate gust of flames enveloping the outside.  Of course i was horrified that the vehicle might be damage or i might be trapped in with the flames.

Luckily what seemed to be the case wasn’t that at all, as when the flames died down almost immediately and i stepped out  my car’s outside had changed.  It now had a wooden frame with smooth edges and a sleek go-kart look to it with wood engravings all over the body.  It matched the digi-vice.  Astounding, my car was now less functional as a car and now more prone to catching on fire.  Nothing could possibly out-strip this as the shittiest design idea ever.  However unfunctional it was, though, the inside was still the same so I just climbed in and prayed that the digivice wouldn’t light me on fire next.

Luckily, when I started putting gas in to back out and get it rolling out of the apartment complex it was soundly NOT exploding into a gushing pillar of fumes and fire.  Instead it rolled smoother than before, not shaking and sputtering like the shitty beater it was climbing the hill.  As I rounded the corner out of the complex’s parking area and started down the road I started to pick up speed a lot faster than I’d realized.  Quickly I’d blown right over the 15mph speed limit all the way up to 18mph, a federal crime likely to be found potential to lead to a death penalty.

Luckily it seemed like there weren’t any cops around.  However, the local town sheriff had caught me, and though more lenient he still had to pull me over.  So when I saw his blinking lights in my rearview I of course pulled to the side of the road, just under a street lamp so he could get a good look at me and I could get a good look at him.  He pulled up behind me a few feet back and took a moment before stepping out and marching up to my car.

Luckily, he seemed slightly inebriated, just a so much as to not question if I was (which I definitely was, my extremely convoluted outfit of course including an alcohol hat).  So he just started up a conversation calmly while pulling his pen and paper out to take notes of my  actions,

“Now sonny boy, do you have any clue how fast you were going?  Like in the slightest.”  Which I replied to calmly and simply,

“Yeah officer, what’s it to your fat ass?”

“Oh you know, just thought you might like to know you were a whole 3.4 miles per hour over the limit.  That’s a corporate offense equal to threatening to kill the President of The Egg-pire of EggDonnie’s ™” Which left me a little flustered.   I was certainly not going 3.4 over.  3.1 maybe but until you hit the 3.3 mph over you’re not committing a martial crime.  So of course I tried to hash things out with him more simply,

“Oh, I’m sorry officer, I must’ve gotten distracted by the fact my car is currently made of wood.”

“Ah, yeah, being made of wood does  mean you’re more aerodynamic.  Harder to keep yourself slowed down I suppose.  I’ll let you off with a warning on that.”

“Thank you She-” “But for your other infringement.” “Other infringement?” “Yes, of course.  You have to have noticed, you started four of the previous full paragraphs with the word ‘Luckily’, that’s a job reassignment offence.  As judge, jury, executioner, and potential clean up crew I’m afraid I’d probably put that down in the system if you had put one more.adjacent paragraph starting with that word.”

Luckily that was the last offense and he hadn’t thought to check and see my digi-

“God damn it son, I said four now that’s five.” “Fuck.”  I mumbled, expressing a small bit of discomfort as the sheriff caught me.

“Now you’re deffinately going to have to be fired and assinged a new job.”  And with that he turned and stumbled drunkenly back to his car, his own alcohol-drink-hat starting to really get to him.  Typing into his Egg-Phone he put into the system that I was to be reassigned.  It popped up immediately on my phone that i’d been transfered to Development and Testing for new products related to Ham.  Everyone knows the Ham market is dying and so the job only pays a meesily $7.50 an hour, something I couldn’t hope to come close to living on.  Of course I was a little upset but wasn’t about to talk back to the officer.  So, I waited there for him to get good and settled back into his car and drive off.

Luckily in his drunken confusion he didn’t drive up past me he turned the wrong way and plunged his car down the hillside next to the road and smacked its front end into the woodlands next to the apartment complex I’d just came from.  So, with that out of the way I no longer had any direct character to character interactions to worry about and just started on my way to do what it was i left the house to do in the first place, get some eggs to eat.  

And where would I get these eggs?  At my now ex-job at EggDonnie’s™ I was sure to enjoy my meal.  So I swung down the streets at the tight pace i should have kept before.  Even though i was still hugging the top end of the speed limit i wound up at the store in a little under 3 hours, which was good pace for a quick mid-night snack.  As I rolled into the drive thru I found myself just far enough back that I couldn’t quite make out the menu items and had to go entirely off of memory trying to order something.  Of course, that’d be normally pretty easy since I tend to just order a gross of half over easy half sunny side up eggs, split down the middle.  That was a bit out of my price range now, though...so i hung back and just go a small egg-tortilla filled with egg and seasoned with cheesegg shake from the can and three toasted raviolis.

It was an oldie but a goodie, a traditional dish if you will.  The only problem, the new window boy we’d hi- I mean they’d hired- recently wasn’t trained that well so it took him a moment before he sluggishly grumbled back out through the coms,

”Uuuuuh...yeah, is that egg tortilla full of egg whites or egg yolks?”

“Egg scrambles, you ament.”

“Woah, no needa get harsh, dude.   I’m just askin’ a question.  Now is that gonna be on whole wheat or-” I cut him off before he even continued with the twelve other options, knowing the stoner’s extended speach would take ages.

“It’s on shell-mixed over hard roll.  Just like on the sign.” “Ahhhh, ok man.  That’s cool, heheh…” He chuckled from the other side of the intercom, clearly taking his time to tap in the ingredients.

“And remember the shaken parm-egg-sian powder on top.  That’s very key.” “A-hahah-hhhlright maaan…” He stammered out, clearly enammered with himself as he took a drag from his blunt i could see up ahead streaming out of the window.  Then he finally gathered himself after another short bit of presumably either sluggish typing or more weed smoking,”Yeah, pull up ahead when the other cars move and we’ll get your food out to ya.” At this point I was almost livid, so when i drove up to the window I peered in, the cloud of gas spraying out as the door opened to reveal the slovenly old man inside, a clear relic from a time when stoners were a creature of the land.

He gave me a rickety hand, outstretched for my money.  I looked at it with a partial look of disgust and confusion before commenting,”Old man, you got any idea how long its been since I’ve seen actual money.  Just put it on my card.” “A’ight, man.”  He casually replied, holding his hand out for it instead.  So, i reached down into my pocket, pulling out my sick Youga Hey-yo card, Twin Long Ds.  And when I presented it to him, my car lit up.  Only this time, it wasn’t getting turnt into a wooden car, this time it was just intense lighting.  Lighting eminating from my cup holder.  There, right next to my Diet Dr Kelp.  The Egg Began glowing, presenting its first transformation.  It looked like Crazy Dia-[Copy Written], only very small with absurdly long arms.  

Twin Long Diamonds.

#JJBA #jojo's bizarre adventure #Digimon #Shitposting #Creative Writing #Knock off #shitty writing #shitpost #Eggdonnies #Egg #Eggs #Crazy Diamond #twin long rods