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disaster-fruit · 3 years

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could you tell us more about the brarg family au with the 3 babies and trans luci?

I definitely can! This au has been living rent free in my head since i started that drawing and I was actually sketching more stuff for the AU right before I got this ask so- I definitely can ramble more about it

This was supposed to be just a collection of a few hcs and now it’s a multi-pages word document the size of a fanfic so – Im really sorry.

I didn’t think a lot about their backstories tbh, though I have it in my mind that Luciano transition in his late teens and that he and martin either met after that or knew each other before luciano came out, lost all contact, and then met again after (and you can blame oxiosas fic for that yeah im not even subtle)

But I imagine them having some sort of meet cute and kinda progressing really fast in their relationship without realizing – yk, its just a fling, no big deal, yeah ive met his parents, yes I basically spend every weekend in his apartment, yeah I have a spare key now, ops I guess we’re adopting dogs and plants together- oh I think we’re married. Yeah. We’re married.

Ok but for real Luci does the proper proposal-with-a-ring-and-knelt-down-on-a-special-day thing and Martin is just bright red saying yes over and over again

It is Afonso (port) the first to be all WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN like… the night of their wedding.

They live in a house in a not too big city with two dogs, one cat, one parrot and all the birds that Luciano feeds and names that aren’t actually theirs. Still, they choose the house with two spare rooms because they always talked about having two kids.

In this AU they can buy a nice house and don’t have to worry about money and can raise kids like the world isn’t ending.

I think right after they got married they got in line for adoption. However, everything indicated that it would take a long long time so they started talking about the possibility of trying to have a biological kid. I think luci was the one to suggest it when he noticed martin had been thinking about it but not saying anything for a while.

Lots of boring doctor visits and confused doctors looking at luciano and trying to process it like the dumb cishets they are. Boring exams and all that, but everything is on track eventually, luci pauses his hrt and keeps his jockstrap on the drawer and they’re googling the best positions for fertility on those weird cishet sites and doing it like bunnies etc etc

Getting pregnant the natural way after years of testosterone is not the easiest thing in the world, so it takes a while. But eventually it works.

Both of them are kinda freaking out with this whole first pregnancy thing. Martin is the ultimate protective husband, and spends way too much time on the internet finding out what luciano can and can’t eat, what exercises he should do, and going to every single doctor visit. He’s very committed to it.

Luciano has to drink non-alcoholic beer and hates life. There’s a single teardrop shed every time he buys it. And drinks a lot of lemonade like it’s the same as caipirinha. Poor guy. Martin doesn’t help on that, life isn’t fair, he buys his own beer.

But he also has to drive absurd lengths to find the weirdest fruit or make the most hideous, blasphemous pizza toppings because Luciano is constantly craving absurd shit. But poor baby actually really NEEDS that chicken M&M pizza at 8am.

They’re super proud daddies though, and both their instagrams at this point are just baby belly pictures. Luci had top surgery on this au on my hc so also. Lots of shirtless pics. He looks like an old uncle with a beer belly and he’s PROUD. Just. Baby bellies all over.

Martin picks the entire baby layette. Because of course he does.

Their baby shower is a huge deal though. Their dads are there, Antonio brings an entire trunk filled with diapers and tells everyone how many tincho used to need when he was a baby, Afonso is cooking for everyone and talking about how he’s gonna be a grandfather (!!!). Iracema (pindorama) is scolding Luci about his bad habits while also quietly being a super proud grandma. Zola (angola) bought toys because she knows that’s what kids actually like, Samero (Mozão) keeps asking if they installed all the necessary security stuff in their house – we will, chill, we still have some months to go – Vera (Tomé) is teasing Simão (Timor) about him no longer being the family baby, Fatima (g.bissau) is another one who bought a huge amount of diapers, Rosinha (cabo verde) is taking pictures of everyone and everything, Sebas and Dani are discussing if the kid should speak Portuguese or Spanish, Maria brought a huge pink plushy as a gift, it’s quite a party.

Once they’re late in the pregnancy, Luciano mostly spends his time on Martin’s oversized t-shirts asking for foot rubs and not getting much sleep because the baby keeps moving. Martin on the other hand is a little nervous about being a dad, but absolutely loves feeling the little kicks and talking to the baby all the time, except when its 3am and he wants to sleep but Luci cant because of it so he just does his best to keep him company. He mostly ends up falling asleep on his chest though and doesn’t help much

I wrote all of this but I still don’t have a name for the girl lol Anyway, she’s finally born, and if martin was overprotective when Luciano was pregnant, he’s ten times more with his baby girl. Tbh theyre both kinda going crazy with this whole parenting thing, both are overprotective, tired, and have no idea what theyre doing.

Zola and Sebastian are the girl’s godparents. Sebastian isn’t very good with kids so when he takes care of his niece he either puts on a tv show and lets her eat whatever crap she wants, or relies on Daniel to do the actual taking care, since he is good with kids.

Luciano and Martin are very much neurotic first-timers and have all this schedule of what their girl can eat and when and when she has to sleep etc etc.

When Zola takes care of her, she just ignores it and does it her way. She helped raised Luci since he was a baby anyway, he survived just fine and even married and reproduced, she knows what to do better than both the dumbasses, and they never even find out.

Afonso on the other had follows everything when he’s with his granddaughter, determined to be a better grandfather than he was a father, and the baby loves him so he’s doing a good job.

They’re a very cute family yes yes

She grows up well and happy, a bit shy maybe but very smart and sweet, loves the dogs and her aunts and uncles and granddads (afonso more than antonio though)

By the way, Iracema is soft like butter with her granddaughter.

When she’s about four or five years old they start talking about having a second one, considering the age difference and all. So back to doctors, Luci stops the hrt again and they go back to trying, but again it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do it naturally after years of hrt.

But god listens to the prayers of such good catholic family, and right after they start thinking about a second child, they receive the news they will finally get to adopt a baby.

Luciano is the one to receive the news, he’s working at home when the social worker comes to tell him they can finally adopt. He’s extremely happy, he hugs the poor lady and is barely able to concentrate as she explains the paperwork that is left and the details of it because he can’t stop smiling.

He immediately texts martin saying something like “CALL ME RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO TALK” and it’s in happy caps but martin understands it wrong and thinks someone is dying or dead but then his phone is what dies so he gets home as fast as he can thinking all the worst scenarios just to find luciano jumping on him with a smile for ear to ear. It’s such a shock he takes a while to react but when he does you have two idiots so happy they can’t function.

It’s another girl, she has big brown eyes like her sister and it’s a few months old.

They quickly reassemble the crib and paint the second room to get everything ready in time to take her home, and the next week or so it’s nothing but all the family visiting to meet their new baby.

Since they managed to adopt, they decided to stop trying to have another kid. Luciano goes back to the doctor do some routine exams so that he can go back to testosterone and the doctor just awkwardly explains that, well, that won’t be exactly possible. Not for the next eight months, at least.

He’s quite shocked at that, and takes him a while to tell martin. They just got a new baby and do they even have space to raise three kids? Eventually it just escapes from him and martin is shocked as well, but ultimately both of them are just worried about their place being too small, and once they relax about that they can’t shut up about having another baby on the way to anyone.

Still, it’s not easy to manage, martin is just as worried as he was with their eldest, except that this time he’s simultaneously worried about their new baby and about Luci’s pregnancy. Poor dude needs a break asap. So he’s trying to do most of the work of caring for a little baby to spare luciano from the stress, while also taking care of him as well as he did the other time.

Luci is more chill about being pregnant, he’s done this before, he’s fine. He’s even a little too chill about it, as shown in the art, he still wants to carry their kid on his shoulder and having a few sips of martin’s beer is no big deal and honestly he’s fine, he can help with the baby, and Tincho just needs to relax and it will all be fine.

Again, poor tincho needs a break.

Some things don’t change though. Them being super proud daddies who do nothing but take pictures of their kids and Luci’s belly every chance they get. And they’re really happy and excited to have their house full and this big family.

Just a good cute family AU where nothing bad ever happens thank you very much. Yet it took me almost 2k words to say it. I have no self control and I’m very sorry. However, if anyone has their own hcs to add about this whole au, I will be more than happy to hear and talk about this AU even more than I’ve already done.

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mallowstep · 3 years

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I wanna hear about the PO3 au's the anon left out! skyclan, loner, po5. Im guessing loner is Crow/Leaf raising the 3 outside of the clans. I love hearing you talk about your au's!

aww thanks! okay, same plan as before, details below the cut.

skyclan po3: it's, uh, pretty on the nose. crow and leaf run to skyclan with their kits.

loner po3: this is a catch-all term for three aus with similar premises, but i don't have a clear/short title to differentiate them. one is leafcrow, one is mothpool, and one is just leafpool. i'll talk about each of them.

po5: this is my internal name for the jaywing au. this, if you don't remember (and why would you), is a bit of a parallel to the dovefeather/med cat dovewing au where jaykit and dovekit are siblings.

skyclan po3: "they move on tracks of never-ending light" (title song)

the au title for this in my notes was "whitewater," but i think i'm going to save something else for that. (if you're confused why i have two titles for all of the aus: when i make a big au, it usually gets a temporary title that's short and easy to search, but i replace it with a permanent title later. sometimes they stay the same, like ashes, but usually i change it.)

so my only notes on this is

crowfeather and leafpool make it all the way to skyclan with a trio of newborn kits.

and like yeah, that's basically all i've figured out.

uhhh i know skyclan will come to the lake sooner, obviously, and i know that jay's character arc plays out really differently because there's less ableism.

(even in the windclan au, jay is intertwined with ableism: in that case, it's "either you're the same, or you're not capable." but leafstar is a sensible leader who doesn't have that problem.)

otherwise, yeah, i don't really know where i'm going with this, other than i think it'll be fun to explore, since leafpool is firestar's daughter and named after leafstar.

loner po3: the common thread in all of these is what happens to thunderclan's medicine cat after leafpool leaves?

(tbf, that's a common question in quite a few aus. but it makes itself a central conflict in these three.)

loner po3 I: leafcrow. "on and on we run in loops"

uh, yeah. they run away, and stay away. this one isn't supposed to focus on the kits that much, but rather, leafpool's struggle with duty and desire.

i've got this:

“There’s a loner,” the kittypet said, her voice languid, claws extended, but with an air of ease, “named Leaf. She’s been helping out loners for, oh, a season or two.”

as a quote from it. it's my least favorite of the loner po3 aus.

loner po3 II: single mom leafpool. "between us, i'd trade you for them every time"

i've talked about this one actually quite a bit, but it's probably going to take me a while to write it. it's inspired by "butterflies and hurricanes," but instead of leafpool dying, crowfeather dies.

also, the chapter titles come from "marjorie" which is basically 90% of why it's going to take me a while to work on it, that song makes me cry a lot and uh, things are a lil Much right now.

i've got a few scenes sketched out, from holly running away, and leafpool panicking, to leafpool worrying about bringing her kits to thunderclan.

loner po3 III: mothpool. "to make a choice in all this mess"

this is the au competing with divided po3 for next po3 au to write, and i'm...i love it. (as a note, i won't write two aus for the same time period at the same time. that's why i was waiting to finish wfmisus before i got back on doahins. now it's all messy. but i get confused lmao.)

anyway, i have the least written for this, but i'm very excited. in my first warriors fic ever, "if you love me any, let me know it now", leafpool thinks this:

(Leafpool should have left. She should have found Mothwing and told her and left. Maybe pause to say goodbye to Squirrelflight. Mothwing would have gone with her, and things would be alright. Not like they are now, all tangled and impossible.)

and well. i'm weak.

i don't have a ton of concrete stuff to say about it, especially considering it's so high on the list, but i mean, i'm excited.

po5: "wing and feather"

alright, this is an old one. since it's also high on my list, i want to explain where it came from rather than what it's about, because that will cover what it's about in a broad sense, without tempting me to give away the details.

(also, w&f is a working title. much like "feather take flight," i may change my mind.)

anyway. i started getting into warriors with "cloudtail's daughter," an au where dovewing and ivypool are brightheart's kits.

in a post so old i had to go to my main blog to find it, i said this:

i also want him to be dovewing’s brother. but the au where brightheart gives birth to dovekit, anxiety child, and jaykit, blind, and feels like a failure despite the fact that its not like her half-blindness is genetic, is not this au. that is another au.

and the seeds were planted.

so right, i'm writing up ctd around when i'm first reading "flightless dove, poison ivy," which will go on to inspire dovefeather (med cat dovewing au, but as you'll see, dovefeather is the assigned working au name. after i decided i didn't like feather take flight, i reverted back to its initial working title, dovefeather.)

so i've got these two things rolling around in my brain.

dovefeather comes first, because i reread fdpi so many times and i just. i want dovepaw to stay in riverclan. i don't want her to leave. i want her to be happy. (also please! i'm still finishing ch 2 of fdpi no spoilers it's taking me embarassingly long to finish.)

but anyway, consider this a bonus au talk because explaining what po5 is, imo, requires me explaining what dovefeather is. like, in an au talk scenario. they're unrelated aus, from a reader perspective.

so i come up with this list of "things i want to be different in oots":

dovewing should be cloudtail's daughter

dovewing and jayfeather should be siblings

dovewing should be a medicine cat

dovewing should go to riverclan

ivypool should be the fourth cat (but i'm not revealing which aus this applies to bc big time spoilers)

and this creates a bit of an au matrix. pick and choose, you know? ctd is (1).

dovefeather is (3) and (4).

but i still wanted (2), and so it seemed pretty natural to make a (1), (2), and (3) au.

but that's a retrospective analysis, what really happens is, i get like fourteen "what ifs" deep, until i'm writing fic for my fic for someone else's fic. kind of.

dovefeather diverges pretty sharply from fdpi, especially based on what i've read of ch2. it takes the same core idea, and because my idea of riverclan was inspired by fdpi, there are plenty of similarities, but i think it's functionally very different, and superficially similar.

(also, hollowflight ends up in a completely different trio lmao dovepaw hangs out with rushpaw, troutpaw, and mossypaw.)

but anyway, i'm trying not to write another au of the same time period, but i just finished writing out the full outline for ashes, and the next chapter (i.e., ch 12, which i'm hopefully posting today if all goes well) gets me thinking, and i can't let it go: i want (2) to happen.

so i look at my outline for dovefeather, because the rule is, it has to be very different from this.

since dovefeather is like 70% drafted (altho that number seems low, because i suspect i'm going to end up adding a lot into the fourth chapter), i now know that was never going to be an issue, but at the time, i was very worried.

so i was like! well, that means i'm going to fuck with every part of po3, and we're going to get ivypaw and hollypaw roped in, and jaypaw is always going to be a warrior, and i think i made squilf his mentor? or maybe sandstorm lmao.

either way, it ended up being defined by jaypaw, which i didn't initially plan on. but that's po5: squilf's litter lionkit, hollykit, ivykit & brightheart's litter dovekit and jaykit grow up together.

it's got a similar vibe to ashes IMO.

okay wow that ended up being a lot i've been hyperfocusing on dovefeather all weekend, and in my head, it's inextricably linked to ashes, ctd, and jaywing/po5, so uh. yeah.

hope this was what you were looking for?

#ask #anon #talk #au talk #mine #txt #dovefeather #jaywing #po5 #au drop

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same-side · 5 years

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hiiii! i just wanna say, i adore your art. second, im teaching myself to draw and while i can draw simple basics (mouths and sometimes eyes if im lucky), im still a beginner. ive watched many art videos and im still a bit confused on wtf im doing. so i just came here to ask if you had any words of wisdom for beginners? could be anything from what tablets to buy to simple mistakes to avoid. ive read some of the other posts here and have found it all extremely helpful so far! Thx for all you do!!

Hey there! Thank you so much!

I would put a read more but tumblr is broken. I’m trying to cover a lot of varied thoughts in little points, so if there’s anything you would like me to elaborate on or otherwise have questions on, feel free to shoot me an ask or dm me!

General

I think the biggest thing to remember is not to compare yourself extensively to others. A little bit of comparison is healthy... But too much will destroy your confidence, motivation, and take the fun out of art. Particularly if you are comparing yourself to someone older than you (life experience and coordination come into play here) or that has been drawing much longer (practice).

Additionally... If you’re not having fun (and you’re not getting paid to do it), don’t force yourself. If you find yourself being frustrated or bored with art, don’t force yourself to do it. That’s how you burn out and get art block! This applies to parts of a peice, too! If you don’t feel like drawing a face or a hand today? don’t force yourself to finish it. Come back to it later when you aren’t as frustrated or are getting better results. Even if its a week or a month from now. Honestly, at any given time I have probably ten headless bodies in my drafts. That’s okay! I just come back to them when I’m ready to do the face. And don’t be afraid to abandon something if it doesn’t feel right!

Something that also doesn’t get said enough.... take care of your body! I never knew when I started art, but artists are supposed to do warmup sketches and stretches and muscle exercises! I didn’t do any of this, and i went through a period of a few months where I was drawing for 5ish hours every single day. I developed carpal tunnel from it! So remember to take care of yourself. Take breaks, stretch, remember to eat.

Practice

Practice!!!! Even if its just for fifteen minutes every day. Or twice a week. But if art is something you really want to get good at, you have to put in the time and effort!! You can’t expect to draw an hour per month and be on the same level as someone who draws an hour a day!

I know I say this a lot but I think the biggest thing is just reference! If you don’t know what something looks like, look at a picture of it when you draw it! To go hand in hand with that, though, don’t just copy what you see! Learn from it and apply it! So take, for example, a shoe! pay attention to the way the heel is shaped, the location of the eyelets for the laces... how large the toe is, how steep the top! While you’re at it, look at other styles of shoes as well, and compare them! See what makes it look like a boot versus a trainer! And then the next time you draw it, hopefully you’ll remember all the things you learned the first time around!

I do lots of studies that serve no purpose other than to teach me things! I use referencing/studies to learn about color theory, shapes, and anatomy in a real environment. For example, hands or fabric folds! Oftentimes I’ll do them timed (20 or 45 minutes) so that I don’t fixate on perfecting things, just on the process itself and what I can learn from it. This also helps with getting better acclimated to your software and more coordinated with what you’re doing. Repetitive learning, like with playing sports.

I’ve realized a lot of people don’t quite understand what a study is? Basically you just look at a photo and try to replicate it so that you can learn about lighting or color theory or textures or anatomy or whatnot. So here’s an example of a timed study.

Additionally, don’t avoid!! We, as humans, have a tendency to avoid things that make us uncomfortable or are difficult. But it will make you a better artist in then end. When I first started, I absolutely hated doing fabric. I felt like I wasn’t good at it. So instead of avoiding drawing clothing, I sat down and did studies and sketches of different kinds of fabric. By the end of this learning period, I became comfortable with it and grew to enjoy it. These days, I adore sketching clothes, and it’s why my pants and shirts and things tend to be detailed instead of stylized in line art. If you don’t like drawing hands because you feel like you aren’t good at it? Sit down, look at a bunch of pictures of different hands, and practice it. By the end, you’ll be more comfortable, you’ll have learned something. Even if you feel like the drawings you ended up with aren’t good, you’ll still have learned, and that’s what matters!

Style

I worked on basics before I tried to develop a style. I made sure to start with a very realistic method at first, so that I could be sure I understood how fabric folds, anatomy, and realistic expressions worked before I tried to stylize them. I think in the long run this approach really paid off for me. It also allowed me to be conscientious of what elements I was absorbing into my artwork. I hear from so many artists that they started drawing when they were younger and into anime or cartoons or things like that, and tried to emulate it. Because those styles became so ingrained into their artistic skillset, it becomes near impossible to iron out those influences and get rid of them later. So starting with realism is a way to ingrain proper anatomy and other good practice into your artwork.

One way to develop style is to take a look at the artwork of someone you admire, and try to list out the things you like form their style - perhaps the thickness of their lines, or the way they do eyes. Do this with several artists, take all those little details you like and try them out! See if you enjoy using them in your own drawing process! Think of it like a grab bag or a pick-n-mix, sprinkling in the elements you like here and there to create something new and your own - not just copying another artists style word for word.

Don’t worry too much about it though; don’t allow yourself to become anxious or fixated on “achieving a style”. Its a natural ever evolving process that comes with time and practice. I know a lot of people get hung up on style, but just take it one day at a time!

Also try to keep in mind what style you’re going for as you begin drawing. And I don’t mean that like sailor moon vs. ghibli. I mean that as in, is this piece going to be a painting, a lineart, a lined painting, cell shading...? It will help you in the longrun if you narrow down the broad kind of style you use, and refine from there.

Workflow

My workflow for paintings is very different from my workflow for lineart and cell shading. A full tutorial on how I do paintings can be found here! A process video for how I cell shade can be found here!

Everyone is going to have a different method that works for them! You just have to experiment and find out how you like to draw! For me, personally, I use color blocking for painting (see the tutorial above) and a spine method for lineart. How the spine method works is that I will draw lines that represent the legs, arms, back, etc. so that I can determine the placement, length, and composition. From there, I’ll add a dark outline that actually shows the shapes of the body. Then, I’ll use thinner lines to add details. This is the method I’ve found that works for me. Another commonly used method that I’m sure you’ve seen is representing body parts with cylinders and cubes. There are lots of good tutorials out there on breaking down bodies into shapes like this!

Something that I do is if I’m not quite happy with a part of a drawing, I don’t just erase it. I duplicate the layer so that I always have the original copy, and then I make changes from there. Sometimes I can end up with five or six different versions of the same arm or face that i’ve made minor changes to. And then I compare and pick the one I like best, or condense all the parts I like from each version to make a “best” version.

Tools

Currently I use Procreate and the standard Ipad with Apple Pencil. Prior to March I was using a Wacom Bamboo Touch and Photoshop Elements 2008. I find its harder for me to do full paintings in procreate, but its made my life a million times easier for lineart and cell shading. The pen pressure is phenomenal, and I also adore that its wireless / active screen instead of plug in like the wacom. The programme itself is intuitive and easy to get the hang of; it simply lacks a lot of the neat tricks that photoshop has, like rendering (lens flares, for example), gradients, and gradient maps. Try testing out different trials of programmes... firealpaca, photoshop, autodesk, whatever it may be! What works for me may not work for you!

#thegodbucky #asks for ts #t talks #long post #art reference

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harmonie-writes · 5 years

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Friend Request/Black Mirror

Got this idea from the movie "friend request"(watch the ending explained for more info) where a non-human/monster student from kacchan & midoriya middle school has been bullied/harrased for their magic/quirk being highly dangerous and commited suicide by doing the black mirror ritual & sending it online to everyone at her school who bullied her. This was during near the end of middle school year. Everyone who saw the video were absolutely horrfied and(1/3) (2/3) To say that they felt guilty was an understatement. Bakugo & midoriya blame themselves for her suicide. But then when some of the students sre disappearing & being put in hospitals they know something is wrong. Then when bakugo is kidnapped/ rescued he and others see that she became a undead demon/monster dueled by anger/hate for those who tormented her and is about to hurt or even kill the others before one of the heroes knock her out/find the mirror & break it. (3/3)After they break the "mirror" she's(whose no longer a demon) brought back & taken in for questioning before they take her in at ua to try and help her recover. When she gets in class 1a she just shuts everyone out completely, not talking/ignoring, just wants nothing to do w/ anyone. When midoriya & bakugo try to approach to her to apologize or whatever, she makes it VERY clear that she will never forgive them & that they are the real monsters & exposes them & reveals scars from self harm (4/3) little extra sorry, you can choose the ending for this one. Im trying to work on a charscter & i needed inspiration & your blog was perfect for it. I saw the baba yaga thing, it was fantastic thank you. Also im really sorry if its really long. Im just really specific and wordy & in love with some of your writing👌. Have some love & drinks for your troubles🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤☕🍵🍶🍾🍷🍸🍹🍺🍻🥂🥃💋💌 Love you, from your loving follower.

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This was actually a really hard order to fill since I don’t like horror/thriller movies, but I love writing horror/thriller stories...the irony...someone please pinch me. Anyway I tried my hardest on this since I loved the topic and hopefully it gives you some inspiration Anon! ❤

WARNING!: THIS IS A VERY DARK THEME! CONTAINS SUICIDE, SELF INFLICTED WOUNDS, DEATH!

SUPER LONG I’M SORRY

AN: I had to look this up, but the black mirror ritual is where you are in a dark room with just enough indirect candle light illuminating your face/eyes. As long as you can see your eyes in the mirror then you can continue to the next step. The next step is to focus on your eyes or in between them without moving them or blinking, eventually everything in your vision will fade and become black. Then you just blink to come back from the void.

Also this won’t exactly fit the timeline that the manga/anime follows... another thing just because I don’t want to leave a plot hole for you love people I had to change somethings around! Oh and I attempted to make this as gender neutral as possible!

In Friend Request the person will perform this ritual and burn them self to become a demon that can posses others who look into darkened mirrors/reflections.

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You used to live in the more rural part of Japan, until a house fire burned down everyone and everything inside, you were the only survivor, but you had burns to show that it happened

The other downside about your home when it was still standing were the locusts

When you were four you went through multiple foster homes, none wanting you because of your strange magic quirk, it looked like very dark magic

While in and out of foster care you would draw as a mean of escape or write things down

Some would even goes as far as to call you a quirkless-wiccan

You had some friends not many though, it was really more of just being your friend out of pity

Judged for your burns and how terrible your quirk was; no one wanted you around

You were bullied because of your burns, your strange habits of staring into mirrors, even odd obsession of candles and dark places

Although that changed one day when you were at the park near you current foster residence

You met two boys: a loud blonde and a timid greenette

They noticed you conjuring small locusts from thin air

“What are you doing?” the little green haired boy asked coming up on your left shoulder

“Creating things of this and that,” your answer was vague, but substantial enough

“Why would you want to make these dumb bugs for?” the blonde peeked over your other shoulder

“Because they’re important,” you put the bug down to look at them then back at the little hopping creature

Eyeing them both up and down you crossed your little arms trying to hide the burn marks

“I’m Midoriya Izuku and he, “the greenette pointed at the blonde, “is Kacchan!”

“No, my name is Bakugou Katsuki,” the blonde huffed shooting a small glare at his friend

You hesitated hoping you wouldn’t get bullied by these two boys, “I’m (L/N) (Y/N)”

That’s at least how it started

Entering middle school the bullying got worse; students made it a point to make you already more aware of the flaws you had and the flaw you were even going as far as to say you should’ve burned with your family

Your magic got stronger the older you got and more you practiced, and you spent a lot of time allowing yourself to fade into the black room staring at your reflection in a small compact mirror

Midoriya has walked in on you when you have gone into the void being completely unresponsive to any outside noses, and he called Bakugou about it making him want to see it for himself

This caused unease in both boys seeing as wiccan symbols littered your arms and legs and every time you used your magic (dark) it would make you look quite terrifying

People could feel the power come off you but still bullied you into submission

You still followed them throughout middle school, but never picked up on the queues that they didn’t want you around or how they would shy away from the topics that involved plans that would make with others

You all attended UA, and both boys were hoping desperately that you would just disappear although they never completely vocalized they didn’t want you with them

Midoriya would just shy away from the subject and flinch slightly when you would join his new friend group

Bakugou would grunt and give you a hard glare, but you always thought it was normal

“Hey Midoriya what are you planning on doing this weekend?” Tsuyu asked while walking to the lunch table

“I think we are going down to the beach for a bonfire on Saturday,” he shrugged as they took their seats

Running up to him and hugging him from behind, “Midoriya! What are you planning on doing this Saturday?” you asked excitedly wanting to give him a present you have been working on for the last couple of weeks

“I um, I’m going to the beach with my mother this weekend...” He trailed off glancing at Uraraka and Tsuyu across the table who gave him an unease look

“Oh...okay I will give it to you another time then,” You released his shoulders before heading towards Bakugou’s table to see if you could also give him his present

“Bakugou!”

“What is it Black Magic?...” The ashen blonde huffed looking towards Mina for help

“What are you doing on Saturday?” you quipped your somewhat happy attitude back

“I’m going to be down at the beach training like normal,” He rolled his eyes but was tense under your touch

“Hmm I guess I will just give it to you another time then...” You left him alone and went outside

Little did you know that the class was actually holding a party and didn’t want you there

That Saturday rolled around and you were alone scrolling through Facebook, which you only had two friends on

Refreshing the page you saw that Midoriya and Bakugou were tagged in the same photo

“What the...” your frustration was getting the better of you

Enlarging the photo you saw that it was the entire class having a party/bonfire on the beach

Everyone seemed to be laughing and dancing; you weren’t laughing

Fingernails digging into your palms until they bled with angry tears falling down your face you slammed the computer shut

The following Monday you confronted both of them before class started

In the midst of them trying to shove you off they pushed up your long sleeved shirt revealing all of the carved letters and cuts

Everything stopped you could hear a pin drop

You couldn’t handle the stares and whispers so you ran

However the two you considered friends had enough of you and decided to make it clear to you

They unfriended you

Noticing that you were all alone again you took action

“I’m not going to be the weak person they make me out to be...”

Collecting the things for your black mirror ritual, the sketches, rope and your phone you got ready

Pressing the record button you started with holding up the pictures

You didn’t say anything, they weren’t worth your words

Taking out the matches you lit one on fire and then the next

Dropping them onto the floor you got on the chair

Adjusting the noose you looked into the camera

“You both did this”

The camera caught you kicking the chair out from underneath you as you were consumed in flames

The entire video you recorded had Bakugou and Midoriya tagged in it, the two you once called friends

Getting the familiar ding they pulled out their phones before class

You tagged them in a video

The video played back the events and they were shocked

They watched you die

Freaked out they showed the video to Aizawa and Principal Nezu

They were told to delete the video and their accounts

They tried only to receive and error

After both boys got the error the your video was shared on their pages for everyone to see

Aizawa walked into the class with them trailing behind before they headed to their seats

“Your classmate (L/N) died last night.”

Whispers floated around the room

Midoriya had his eyes locked to his desktop and Bakugou looked out the window

Strange things started occurring a few days after your death

A student who went to the same middle school as you was found in critical condition with burns everywhere

When the student woke up in intensive care the police and Pros were there to here her statement

“Th-the house... it was on fire...”

They assumed she just meant her house

Little did they know it was hers; the fire started inside of a mirror on her wall

She saw a dark figure light a house on fire before making her way closer to the girl

Moving between mirrors/reflections to your next victim you planned things accordingly, and would work your way up the chain until you had your revenge

More students from Bakugou and Midoriya’s past were getting hurt and they were freaking out, because there were no leads as to what was going on

It was evening and Uraraka was studying with only her lamp on for light when it flickered and went out

Startled the brunette looked around the room until she saw her reflection in her computer

Thinking there was a smudge she tried rubbing at it

Removing her hand from laptop she saw a dark shadow walk up behind her

Turning around a piercing scream ripped through her throat

You were behind her with grey eyes that wanted nothing but revenge on those who wronged you

Opening your mouth a swarm of locusts went after Uraraka biting at any exposed skin

Hearing the scream throughout the dorm some of class 1-A went to check

Bursting through her door and flicking the light on they saw Uraraka in the fetal position on the floor

When the lights flicked on you disappeared along with the locusts

“Uraraka! Are you okay?” Tsuyu was the first into the room to check on her friend

“Lets get her to the hospital,” Yaoyorozu ushered as Kirishima and Sero picked her up

On the way out Uraraka’s hand grabbed Bakugou’s wrist tightly

“I-it was them...” she breathed out with wide scared eyes

Everyone paused and looked at the frightened girl

You witnessed everything behind your mirror before disappearing into another glass, eyes burning with a deep rooted hatred

“Bakugou,” Midoriya grabbed his wrist, “how do we stop (Y/N)? They are attacking everyone we are friends with!”

“No shit you dumb ass,” He huffed holding his hand to his chin contemplating the situation, “they’re targeting everyone who bullied them...”

Both boys looked at each other with widened eyes as they realized who would be targeted

Everyone on their friends list was someone who bullied you before at least once

Things seemed to stop for a bit when they went to the training camp at least that’s what it seemed

After Bakugou was captured you showed up again right outside the bar, your reflection in the glass outside in the alley way

Making your way to where Bakugou tried escaping you unleashed hell

“Bakugou!” your piercing shriek echoed over the clearing

Bakugou and the small band of villains turned to look at your retched form walk towards them

Some of the villains tried stopping you but you flicked your wrist at them sending them flying away from you; not once did you take your eyes off the blonde

“What do you want from me-us?!” Bakugou shouted palms sparking in anticipation

“I want you to suffer the same way I did for years! Being alone with no one to rely on, not even a friend,” you opened your mouth wide releasing a storm of locusts to the unsuspecting blonde

Using his quirk he was able to keep them at bay, and escaped with the help of Kirishima and the others

You screamed in frustration as they got away, but that was short lived as Kamui Woods restrained you and knocked you out

The Pros at the scene took a look at you and recognized you from the missing persons report, they knew you committed suicide but there wasn’t a body to be found

You were sent to the hospital with limbs bounded and gagged, precautions had to be taken since you were still seen as a threat

“You two can come in now” Bakugou and Midoriya looked upon your body that was illuminated in just candle light

“How did you figure out what that candle light would keep her from disappearing?” Bakugou asked leaning up against the wall not wanting to get close to you

“We remembered from Uraraka’s testimony that she disappeared when the lights turned on so we tested different light sources and candle light seems to work the best” one of the detectives stated, “it’s also light enough that she can’t disappear into any reflections.”

“Why are we here?” Midoriya was nervous being in the same room as your sedated body

“We need to know if you know anything about her state, or what would have allowed her do this after being... well dead.” It wasn’t a question and both boys knew it

“(Y/N) used to stare at a small mirror for hours when we were younger, and the room would always be dark...” Midoriya reflected thinking back to when you were younger

“Good, if you think of anything else call us, he handed them a card, “We will start looking through the burned remains of (Y/N) residence.”

“Oh the and they woke up earlier, but refused to say anything that might be helpful to this situation,” the detective sighed pinching the bridge of his nose, “the only thing they said when waking up were both your names.”

Alarmed both heads whipped to look at the detective

“What?!”

“They might talk to both of you. We will bug the room and leave so they doesn’t suspect anything,” setting up the microphone the detective pat both boys shoulders before exiting

“Oh and don’t worry (Y/N) is strapped down to the bed under the blankets,” the detective tried giving them an encouraging smile and thumbs up before exiting

Once the door closed your eyes opened wide and you gasped for air as if you hadn’t been breathing

Struggling against the restraints you cried out

“H-hi...” Midoriya tried and your wide eyes narrowed dangerously as you eyed the traitors

Jaw clenched tightly shut and deathly grey eyes bored into both visitors

Bakugou tried putting on a brave front, but lets be real you looked like you had been dead for years

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? You abandoned me! You used me and lied to me!” you finally snapped going back to struggling against the straps

Back arching up off the bed you struggled

This freaked the boys out even more, you looked so much like a demon (you were) trying to fight against an exorcist

Truth was you were, they found the mirror under some burnt remains and the demon inside you was trying to hold onto your body

Screaming and writhing, head shaking back and forth you dropped back on to the table

Eyes blank and looking at the ceiling

Slowly your physical appearance began to revert back to normal

Walking up to the edge of your bed Midoriya spoke up, “We are sorry... for everything.”

Slowly tilting your head to look at them you sucked in a deep breath, “No.”

Confusion washed over Midoriya and anger over Bakugou

“What do you mean no?” Bakugou glared down at your body

“It’s exactly as it sounds,” you still managed to posses a menacing glare

“What do we have to do for your forgiveness?” Midoriya pressed further hoping that if you forgave them then everything would go back to being somewhat normal

“I won’t ever forgive either of you! Do you know what you even did? Are you trying to get over your guilty conscious?” your accusations cut them deeply and you knew that you hit them on the nail

“You are both monsters! So I did something I knew you would both fear, being alone,” you still being magical summoned a scalpel to your hand from the counter top and sliced through the ropes holding you down

Standing you face them with scalpel in hand

Both boys activated their quirks in case you decided to hurt them

Pushing up the night gown sleeves you showed them your scars

“You pushed me to this!” you cried tears pouring down your face

“I only wanted to be friends with you both and you pushed me away!”

Stepping forward Midoriya tried setting his hand on your shoulder hoping to comfort you, but you stepped away angrily shaking your head

“No, no, no... NO!” glaring at them you pointed the medical tool at them but didn’t advance

“We want to help you...maybe even start over?” Bakugou tried reasoning sharing a small glance with Midoriya

The glance didn’t go unnoticed by you

“No. Anything is better than being friends with either of you. Death is better than being friends with you!” ugly sobs wretched through your body as you raised a hand in the direction of the counter top

Every drop of magic in your body you used to collect sharp medical tools and items

The boys started wide-eyed as you turned the instruments in your direction

Turning your outstretched hand into a fist you closed your eyes

Screaming was heard from the room, and the detectives outside ran into the room

The scream wasn’t yours, it was the two UA students

They were speckled in your blood as it pooled out around your body

Your body lying limply on the floor and impaled in various places

Your death was instant

“Oh dear God...” the two detectives breathed before one ushered the boys out

“Sir we have a problem...”

#dvoz-writes #friend request #black mirror ritual #bnha fanfiction #bnha x reader #midoriya x reader x bakugou #mha #mha fanfiction #mha fanfic #requests for dvoz

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jooheonies · 6 years

Note

nawar lover no.1 aka user shwhyuk uwu

bloodorangeki said: the lady formerly known as hyuccwoo, shreknu if u will,

send me a tumblr url and ill tell you what i think of them!

hhhhhh ok before i eben launch into this full love essay. i jst wanna say tht u truly are the light at the end of my tunnel sejung,,,,u make me so happy !!! Like i remember when i was losing my mind off of like three sips of pineapple cider and i legitimately felt like i was gonna throw up but then i was like … damn i can’t forget to text shannon and tell her about all this. and then i talked to u for a full hour or so while u called me a liddle babie nd i continuously whined…either way you truly have me under your spell you demon!!

okay so not to be. dramatic but youre so dreamy and pretty you remind me of rain and soft kisses on the cheeks and rose gardens and bouquets of flowers and soft sunlight on flower meadows and like! that feeling you get in your cheeks when you smile too much for too long and you get that permanent blush across your face! god that’s probabaly nonsense and not very cohesive but you have the same sort of colors…soft orange and light pink….you’re like a sunset on the beach right at the start of spring when theres barely anyone on the shore and the whole world feels really big and wide but even though youre all alone you don’t feel lonely because it still feels like the whole world(you) is poised right at the edge of your fingertips.

hhhh that also probably made very little sense but i dont care i love you so much and im very bad at expressing emotion (blame my virgo moon who hasn’t felt any feelings in over 18 years) but i still feel like always showering u in that sweet love and affection, despite the fact that im horrible with words and i have absolutely no consistency. I feel like it’s really rare to meet someone who literally changes your entire perception of the world but … damn here we are!! tlkaing to u is literally a part of my daily life its a part of who i am at this point :/

Anyways, friendships don’t really come naturally to me because I have a very weird perosnality where like. im simultaneously suffocating whilst also being very detached and it turns people off so quickly but..god we mesh so well i truly love you so much. i also tend to not write a lot whenever i make these posts bc im the kind of person who continously says how much i love you throughtout the convo (even thoguh ill ghost most ppl for a few days) so whenever i get around to writing these im like :// but what else do i say :// but this time!!! oooo i have so much to say i can never go into full loving hours with you bc you always turn things around and get me to start talking abotu myself and pretty soon we start talking about how i used to raise rocks as a kid instead of talking about how hot you are :/

so anyways firstly . those were just the intro pragaraphs im finally getting into my loving sejung essay :(( helloooo one of my favortie things about talking to you is how easily the conversation always flows ….us talking about shownus asshole and the questionable consumption of expired jello and orbeez at 3 am is most likely the more demonic things weve done while simultaenously being the more tame things…my head still aches when i remember that giagntic bruise i got from looking at that wonho+tentacles/changkyun+black hole sketch u made… god we somehow always go from topic to topic with absolutely no regard for cohesiveness and yet neither of us ever question it…we’ll spend hours discussing absolutely nothing …like that one night we stayed up for like three hours on rabbit talking about all the different mx stans and which member has the most stans internationally versus domestically and why….icons of developing complex sociocultural theories at 2am while occasionally mentioning “oh wow its late u should go to bed >:/” god its just that I always lose track of time whenever I talk to you…its like im so focused on that I Love Her mood that I don’t even realize its been 4 hours until I look down at my pile of unfinished homework and then back up at my laptop like. This was a Valid choice why would I pick ib math when I have a whole entire sejung talking to me. hhhh its just that talking to you comes so naturally and I always tell you all these quesiotnable things to which you always respond by first calling me a demon and then laughing about it and encouraging my stupidity. it’s also so so endearing that ill tell you about the dumb shit im doing and your first response is always to nag at me to be safe and take care of myself as if ill actually listen to you and clean a cut with alcohol, risking legitimate Pain… anyways sejung? queen of making me feel loved and noticed? MORE LIKELY THAN U THINK!!!!

hhhhh ok moving on now I get to talk about how. sexy u are damn….i remember back when we were first starting to talk and you sent me those pictures of yourself in that button up and I literally. I quite literally almost passed out in the starbucks while the barista was handing me my strawberry lemonade I truly almost lost it…nd right before that I was encouraging you to talk to the boba girl nd flirt nd be all spicie…but then u sent me those pics nd I was like for what reason would she have to impress boba girl when im right here … mouth open so wide in love that all the bobas are spilling out of my mouth :( not to be dramatic yet again when I know ive mentioned those selfies before but damn…those were so hot u unbuttoned like two or three of the top buttons and u looked so hot truly. raw me vore me behind each and every single boba store location hewwwooo u look so intense nd powerful im truly putty in ur hands not only would I lose my mind for u, I have already lost it

hhhhh im very much rambling and making very little sense rn bc its. 2:30 am and im sleebie nd I blocked all social media sites so id do homework bt I kept thiknning abt u so I was like hm the universe clearly wants me to write about sejung more even though ill have to post this in the morning bc tungle is blocked until then :// bt anaywas that also means I get to go into all the other thigns I love about u and all the things u remind me of :(( hhhh its so wild that I never actually aunch into full loving shannon mood bt I talk abt u so much w my friends theyre all. suspicious ,,,,

them: nawar u don’t actually like romance and u hate talking about people r u perhaps dating this girl??me, w hearts in my eyes laughing at smth ure saying on my phone: what

HHHH DJHFKSJDHF TAHST TRULY ME,,,,ALWAYS THIKNING ABT U,,,ALWAYS BEING BIG HEART EYES FR U,,,at any given moment I could be reminded of u :( I see a piece of paper nd im like huh I should do work then again is work necessary to live perhaps not but sejung is necessary to live,,,,me thinking abt u as I procrastinate every single thing ive ever had to do :D Like, ive never understood when people say that they hated a zodiac sign at one point, and then they met one person and they were like oh my god nevermind this sign is perfect but truly,,,I love geminis now ,,,I used to hate them almost as much as cancer nd now? geminis are all good ure so wonderful nd loving nd sweet u being a gemini saved geminis collectively,,

ill also neber stop talking abt how now matter how much I whine and demand attention, youre always jst,,,supplying it without any question like at one point people usually get annoyed, no matter how endeared they were by it at first, bt youre always calling me a baby (even though im older) nd giving me that sweet Love and Attention,,mmmmm my libra sun thrives under ur care :( hhhh also I feel it is important to point out I love. all of u,,,,like I don’t even usually care much for peoples voices or anything unless its like so deep it sounds like the grim reaper bc that’s wild u ,,bt anyways the first moment I heard ur voice I was. breathless I was so shocked like ur voice is so soothing nd warm its like. if the aesthetic of sunlight and honey and warm pies had a voice,,,hhhh im also not the type to really believe in things like fate nd destiny and soulmates and stuff bt that’s kind of what u remind me of ? in a? not weird way hhhhh so I feel like youre just so naturally in tune with people like nothing really catches you off guard and you roll with peoples different personalities and quirks and you always jst. mesh so well with everyone ure like the minhyuk of the internet,,,,nd like!! theres smth abt u that reminds me of balance and maybe its my libra sun always seeking peace and harmony in life but I always feel so relaxed nd steady whenever I talk to you its like . idk how to explain it!!! its jst so comforting!!!

I was originally gonna cut myself off at 1k but its too late for that now and im gonna put this under a read more anyways and its 3am now so I feel like. go Big or go Home!!! now im gonna launch into a long analysis of u! and ur smile!! first of all,,,its so rare nd wild to find someone who likes validating people more than being validated,,,,u finding my libra antics cute???hhhhh tahts so wild,,,,I could pout for hours nd u would call it cute,,,validating!!! nd the fact that you’ve read my writing,,,,excerpts from my demonic wips and youre stil friends with me?? you still talk to me?? damn that’s like. never to be expected any time I make someone read that tangerine fic they ghost me for a good month but I sent you pieces of that tentacle fic and YOU FUCKCING SKETCHED OUT THE LOOK,,,,,MY MUSE,,,nd also you tend to always steer the convo around to focus on the other person n dim a FOOL who almost falls for it every time,,,before I remember and make u tell me thigns…god ive told you so many obscure things from my childhood like that time I tried to eat a brick and yet you still,,,,talk to me,,,,who are u,,,,hhhh ure always so cute nd giving nd caring I feel like I could genuinely truly look like shit nd send u a selfie nd you would still be like WOW GORGEOEUS YOU LOOK SO GOOD THAT’S HOT!!! u,,,going out of ur way to make ppl happy :( anyways im a fool in love w u ,,,also not to be like. one of those old white boy text posts from tumblr but ,,,,hey girl,,,ladie,,,wamen,,,did u know? ur smile lights up my world? ,,,did u know? theres no such thing as u being anything less than perfect,,,why? because its impossible to be anything less than the essence of who you are. hhhh that’s the dumbest thing im ever written im cutting myself off that was too much this is like. 2k words so far and in all honesty I could continue but then id get gushier than that last line and nobody wants to see That,,,hhhh

this started out with. somewhat decent grammar like I used periods and I think I occasionally capitalized the first letter of the sentence but at this point its incoherent rambling it’s the inside of my brain every time I see u or hear frm u its like when spongebobs brain was on fire and all the cabinets and computers were going up in flames and all the little brain spongebobs were losing their mind that’s me right now losing my mind over you I wrote exactly 2k words in that whole essay,,,,im so fucking valid,,,,ananywas I love you if you couldn’t tell nd iim . somewhat satisfied at being able to vent all this love,,,smoochie,,smoochh,,SMOOCHIIE

#shwhyuk #ask game #HHHHH THIS IS SO LONG....#I LOVE U...BABEY...

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ts-akhmim · 4 years

Text

Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon

okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button

Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty)

Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe.

i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.

So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing

Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens.

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Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe

Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I’m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me.

okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine

Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3

The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3

I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?

Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind!

The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks

Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.

Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.

I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.

Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting.

Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.

Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...

oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.

***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right

Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!

Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them!

I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass.

me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g

You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao

okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm

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lebilliam · 6 years

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111 questions with @imaginationisendless3

001: What is your biggest dream? uhhh. that depends on how you define dream. im gonna go ahead and say that the dream is to be able to wake up and go to the airport and just travel all around and come back home to the same old home at the end of the day

002: What is the bravest thing you've ever done? this q is quite a doozy. i really dont keep track of this kind of stuff

003: Is it hard for you to show your feelings? hell ye

004: What is your dream job? What was your dream job when you were little? when i was little i thought looking at space and being an astronaut would be really cool but now its just being able to travel

005: What is your favorite sound? mechanical keyboard clicking hands down

006: Would you rather be in front of the camera or behind it? wait this q seems familiar but im gonna say in front

007: What do you notice first when you meet a new person? (Both in real and on the internet): what kind of memes they like

008: Is there anybody you *fully* trust?: sure theres a list

009: Do you like / love someone? If yes, who?: there was this cute girl once but i never mustered the courage to really talk to her rip

010: Have you ever received / sent hate? How do you deal with it?: i flame brian and logan all the time but i dont think that constitutes hate mail. tbh i dont recall an instance of being perturbed by excessive hate

011: What are you going to spend money on next?: food in martinique (or maybe some chacos here)

012: What are three things you never leave your house without?: phone, wallet, jacket

013: What is your favorite place?: ive had a lot of favorite places over the last few years but now that im being asked i cant recall any of them. all my favorite places have this one thing that i dont like about them and thats why i have so many

014: Do you sing and/or dance in front of people? nah not earnestly

015: Have you ever cheated on a test?: have YOU? i say i want to cheat on tests all the time bc itd be so easy but im just too lazy to enact a foolproof cheat strategy

016: What is your current desktop background?: last time it was a bunch of functional groups for Ochem, but now its specific reagents and pathways!

017: How would you describe yourself in 3 words? indecisive, unpredictable, decisive (i thnk)

018: What does make you happy?: honestly?? knowing im appreciated

019: What time were you born? uhh i dont know off the top of my head atm but i can check

020: Do you give second chances? Why? why the fuck NOT? well i say that but all the second chances ive given have been disappointments. trying to find someone to surprise me i guess? xd

021: Name your biggest turn ons and turn offs: serious turn offs are lacking empathy for the struggles of others (i say stop being poor ironically, but there are people who really dont get it which is scary to me). turn ons? Jacinda asked me this and my answer still hasnt changed-- the neck. i ALWAYS go for the jugular

022: When was the last time you hugged someone?: hmmmmm probably last month or so?

023: What is your favorite food? GOD dang it i know i say a lot of things are my favorite but now i cant think of anything. something im always down for is KFC though

024: Do you save money or spend it right away? FUCK i try to save it but money just has a way of leaving my hands

025: Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what are their meanings? If no, would you get any?: id love to get tattoos. sleeves and all those seem really neat but also i know im just rash with decisions like that sometimes

026: Name five things you find beautiful: ooo hair in sunlight, pure moments of unadulterated laughter, crafts that people work on, technology, and mechanical keyboards

027: What is your favorite clothing style? (Both in you and others): lately ive been joking about the CLOUT a lot with champion and supreme branded stuff but its ironic. tbh i like buttonups with nice colors.

028: How do you cheer yourself up? i slid into this girl’s dms with this very question and then i linked her a minecraft song parody so i guess minecraft song parodies and stupid things

029: Do you show affection in public?: i would IF I COULD

030: What is one thing you are looking forward to?: martinique, being refreshed enough to actually care about school bc this last semester was a shitshow

031: Have you ever been to other countries? If yes, where?: france, spain, italy, canada, (japan when i was uber young), vietnam, fircrest

032: What was the last lie you told and why? ill start on this at 2pm. i was still in bed at 2

033: Who are the people you can always turn to? mo, lo

034: Have you ever done drugs? If not, would you ever try them?: it sounds like itd be a cool experience but im also scared all of those horror stories where the drugs were laced with other stuff that turns you into a 4 year old

035: What is your favorite word? i think about the word obsequious a lot but i think my favorite word has to go to discord

036: Do you consider yourself a romantic? sure why not

037: What are 3 objects that are *very* important to you and why?: notes section in my phone ( i write a lot of my thoughts and weird dreams in there), my laptop ( i use it literally every single day), my dice ( bc dnd has been uber helpful to me and its a great pastime)

038: Have you ever met someone famous? If so, who?: nope! not special

039: What would you like to change, mentally and physically, about yourself? id like to start working out but i say that all the time. id like to be more dedicated to school stuff but honestly its whatever. idk jsut trying to be more confident in myself and smiling more

040: Have you ever won a contest/competition? What for? i won a smash tournament once and i got fourth or third in another one but that was a long time ago

041: What is one illegal thing you would do if there were no consequences? steal, armed robbery.

042: Who are your favorite fictional characters? borutos dad seems kind of cool, they should make an anime about him or something

043: Do you ever wish you were somebody else? yea i wish i was me but better

044: What is your favorite store to shop at? FUEGO and the runway fashion exchange and idk some other cool store but it doesnt come to mind

045: Do you want to have children one day? How many? How would you name them?: i think about it. having children would be cool but also NOT having kids would be cool

046: How do you cope with stress? How do you vent your anger? i say reee unironically but then it makes me feel better

047: What do you want for your birthday? honestly? lots of money but idk a new set of dice would be nice ore maybe a new computer

048: Have you ever had an imaginary friend? yea probably

049: Have you ever said "I love you" even though you didn't mean it? in the times ive said it i feel like i have meant it but you can never be too sure

050: What is the best advice anyone has ever given you? starting to write down all your feelings and stuff that happens

051: Do you have any regrets? If yes, what do you regret the most? not taking the opportunity to go to high school/ college early / skipping grades / trying harder on admissions tests

052: Do you find tattoos and/or piercings attractive? theyre pretty neat imo i like them

053: Do you want to get married? What are your views on marriage? marriage is such an old concept but also it seems kind of cool

054: Who are you most comfortable around? tbh its been myself for the last few weeks

055: What are you wearing right now? What do you wear to bed? i am wearing shorts. i try not to wear too much when i sleep bc i overheat but if i have someone else in bed with me ill wear a thin shirt and shorts

056: When is your birthday? feb 26!

057: What is love to you? love is being able to send memes to each other and being able to go from 2 blobs watching videos to a fancy date and

058: Are you a jealous person? i can be jealous if i dont trust whatever is happening

059: Would you rather go to a party or stay at home? hmm tbh id probably party if my friends were there or if not id stay at home

060: How many relationships have you had? quite a few

061: Are you a positive person? sure, i guess ;)

062: What kind of people do you feel attracted to? smart people who are smart but also dumb and cute

063: What is the longest time you've stayed awake? oooowee i think 21 hours or so?

064: Have you ever been told "I don't want to lose you"? yep! proceeded to then lose me!

065: What is your favorite genre when it comes to movies? action comedy

066: Do you collect anything? memories and dust and trinkets

067: In your opinion, what is your best quality? i can make you laugh

068: Have you ever changed for someone?yep! it happens and its sad but it happens

069: What is your idea of a perfect date? a date is the entire day, starting out with waking up next to the person, eating breakfast together, maybe do some errands / work out, netflix and chill, chill, go out for a nice dinner and night out, come back, netflix and chill, chill, go to bed.

070: Are you shy or outgoing? i would love to say im outgoing but idk!

071: In your opinion, what is the secret for a great relationship? surprises everywhere

072: Are you the kind of person who breaks rules? hm im sure i did at some point. maybe i still do?

073: Is it hard for you to trust people? yea it can get a lil hard

074: What does your dream house look like? fat front yard, lots of plants, lots of green grass

075: Do you feel attracted to people your age, younger or older? hmm im at the ripe age of 19 where options younger than me are a lil sketch. idk according to the historia older people have been quality

076: How much have you changed over the past year? a LOT boii

077: Longest friendship you've ever had? hmm about 6 or 7 or 8 years

078: Do you have pets? If not, what animal would you like to have? no pets, id love dogs

079: Are you left or right handed? ambidextrous

080: What talent do you wish you’d been born with? perfect pitch would help a lot with what i like to do

081: Where do you get motivation and inspiration? minecraft parody songs, also seeing professionals doing what they do

082: Do you know how to swim? If yes, when did you learn? yea, i learned when i was in bellingham and then i learned more when i was in kent

083: You are given one wish: What do you wish for? i wish for 100 million dollars with no inflation, no taxes, no debts, no one filing a lawsuit or slandering my name (this is all a part of getting the 100 mil. ive thought about getting money a lot)

084: Do you like to give / receive flowers? What is your favorite flower? i like giving flowers bc i feel like if i receive them, i dont know what to do. its now ur problem if i get you flowers

085: Would you rather travel to a cold forest or a warm beach? warm beach if its not in the early morning when the sun rises, otherwise, forest

086: What is one thing you can't forgive, that can destroy a friendship or relationship beyond repair? if u kill me i dont think i could get over that

087: What is the last thing you purchased? corsair mouse

088: Have you ever broken someone's heart? Ever gotten your heart broken? yep and yep

089: Have you ever cheated on someone? Ever been cheated on? no and yes

090: Do you believe in soulmates? uhhh its possible. theres 8 billion people on this planet, what are the odds that soulmates DOnt exist

091: Is there anybody you would do absolutely *anything* for? If yes, who? hmmmm not anything, but id do a fair bit for my friends

092: Share three facts about your life.: i like to eat, make friends, and travel/experience other cultures

093: Do you believe in love at first sight? i do, but most of the time it isnt reciprocated ;p

094: Would you date someone who smokes / drinks / does drugs / has a mental illness? yea, i dont see why that would stop me from dating them

095: You are given 15 minutes of fame: What would you do? ask for money

096: How is your dream partner like? shes funny, makes me laugh, smells good, etc

097: Would you rather commit to one person or have several relationships? id rather have several relationships so i know exactly what im looking for in a person.

098: What are some of your hobbies? league, hearthstone, watching people play league and hearthstone, french, etc

099: What kind of person do you want to be? i want to be the cool old person when im old

100: What did you have for breakfast? i had some vietnamese cuisine

101: What is your Top 3 favorite shows? What was your Top 3 favorite shows when you were a kid? the office is something i enjoy, mythbusters, uh scooby doo? idk

102: What are three places you *really* would like to visit one day? hmmm maybe the trevi fountain, il duomo, totally la sagrada familia

103: What was your last meal? What was your last beverage? breakfast, water

104: Who is the last person you had a deep conversation with? hmm probably anastasia

105: What is one thing that made you smile today? thinking about martinique

106: Do you like taking photos? If yes, what do you photograph the most?i love taking photos, but i never have subjects so i dont really take photos too often

107: Has anyone ever written a poem or a song dedicated to you? Have you? FHCk man i wish. wait there was a 100 things i like about you and i think about it all the time. i actually have written poems and stuff but tis been a long time and i dont think my creative juices are back from that yet (but trust me, it was straight fire)

108: Do you remember your dreams? If yes, what was the last dream you remember about?: i remember almost all of my dreams because i always tell someone about them and idk talking helps me remember things

109: If you could go back in the past, would you change anything? If yes, what? i would start learning things so much earlier and stick with theme

110: If you were given 3 million dollars, what would you do with them? invest 2 mill in the bank, get that monthly interest coming back in the mail, use that mill to pay off all my and my friends debts, live life the way i wished i could when i was little

111: What are a few facts about you that not many people know of? i like learning languages but its not profitable in this day and age i feel

'111 Questions': by Ira V. Simon (priveting)

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ualscout · 5 years

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Captain's Log: No One

I did roughly 8 hours of field research for this project. If that doesn’t show how hyped I was, I don’t know what does.

We were told to go to the British Museum to take notes and sketches of artifacts that interested us. We’d then incorporate our research into our first animatic by centering/including the artifact in a story. The British Museum is a pretty fukken big museum, host to artifacts from cultures all over the world. I was gonna be there a while.

My first area of interest was the Ancient Egypt section. Even thought it was packed, I took a lot of sketches and notes on stuff I could picture as the centerpiece of a story- a means of congregating or hosting. For instance, a lot of libations bowls that would be used by many people a day who visited a temple took my interest, or the towering sarcophagi that looked way too big for only one person. I initially didn’t want the artifact to become the character, but to assist the characters interacting with it. That way, I could tell a story around it.

My next stop was the Ancient Greece section. As a kid, I knew everything about greek mythos. It’s a religion not only with multiple gods, but fatally flawed gods is so interesting to me. I took a lot of notes, but most of the notes ended up being around the story as opposed to the aesthetic of the artifact. The Greeks shared an area with the Romans, so I took some notes there as well. I moved onto Ancient Asia. There was a lot of interesting material, I liked to look at the jade crystal carvings and imagine the cronch from biting down on one. They had interesting masks, but not too much stood out to me in there. As I spent more time in the museum, the more monotonous everything got. I don’t think it’s the cultures being repetitive, but it does show how humanity fixates on very similar topics, even beyond cultural barriers. Kind of like parallel evolution. Where I really started to find my spark was Ancient Europe and Scandinavia. Aesthetically and mythologically, I love vikings. Pagan traditions are really cool as well, it all just seems so foreign to me (we don’t learn much about it in American schools). Stuff was interesting me again, but nothing was really catching my eye… Until I was being ushered out of the museum at closing time. I saw a deer skull, the antlers still attached, with holes drilled in.

It was from Star Carr. Made of red deer skull, it served as a headpiece and is among the oldest evidences of shamanic religion. It seemed so unsettling in an ancient and earthy way on its own, the idea of someone wearing it intrigued me. Coming home, I started on three base ideas to bring into class. The first was using an ancient viking mirror as a gateway between an eldritch horror and a young adult who’s distant grandmother just passed away and received the mirror as inheritance… except the eldritch horror acts like an elderly guy with clearly racist beliefs but trying to seem like he doesn’t. They talk by fogging up the mirror and writing.

The second was two people arguing over who would win in a fight: a person on horseback or a centaur. Inspired by the fact that any times centaurs are featured in art, they’re always fighting a human. Even after writing a rough script for it, I don’t know who would win.

The last idea was using the mask I found. I liked the idea of it holding an ancient spirit tasked with protecting a humanity that has long since forgotten its existence. I also liked the idea of it being able to possess other living creatures. Not sure if I wanted it to be horror or not, but it would certainly be unsettling. You can probably tell which idea I went with.

Today, we wrote a script. This is the only area I have any expertise in. My script ended up being 10 or so pages of screen direction and character building, but I finished the dialogue as well.

The story follows three hikers who venture into some Scandinavian woods on a backpacking trip. Haak is the most serious and the leader, he has the most survival skills out of the group. Maya is the prankster of the crew, but is just as experienced as Haak. Robyn is the physically weakest character, often scared by everything and unnerved by the surroundings. The characters leave their car and enter the woods, but not before trying to make sense of the cryptic writing on the worn and torn trailhead. Robyn is the only one who seems to pay any mind to it. As the group start, a narrator that could be Robyn starts speaking about “tales for a trip through the woods.” The tips start out as actual advice one would use for a backpacking trip, like packing extra food and always having a map, but slowly get more cryptic and unsettling. The characters make their way through the assortment of settings in the woods, focusing more on the nature around them instead of what the group is doing. As the tips get more cryptic, saying stuff like “it may seem like the trees are following you, they’re just keeping an eye on you” and “be grateful you don’t know what’s under the dirt, pray you never find out,” the forest seems to retaliate against the characters. For instance, they get lost and double cross an area they’ve already been in, get haunted by the eyes on the birch trees, and more. Eventually, it all leads up to a normal bear attack being an Ursa Major, a bear with stars in its pelt and no need to hold a solid corporeal form. Haak and Maya get struck down by the bear after supposedly subduing it. As it’s coming for Robyn, Robyn backs up into the form that was following from beginning. The head is out of shot, but it puts a strange headpiece on Robyn, and allows Robyn to fight back against the bear. Once the fight is over, Robyn is faced with the ancient spirit who saved them- a towering, scraggly figure made of twigs and forest materials. It’s creepy to look at, and was framed at the start to be the creature tormenting the group. The creature reaches out and touches Robyn’s forehead, using their body to say verbally “no one believes in you, you should believe in yourself, too.” In Robyn’s voice. The next scene happens where the group dropped the car off, Haak blinking back to consciousness. Somehow, Robyn saved them, and Haak passes out again knowing they’ll be okay. Help arrives as Robyn looks back at No One for the final time as the spirit disappears into the forest.

The idea is how humans have interacted with and continue to interact with nature. The reality is the forest provides, but it does not protect. People putting faith in the old gods to protect them is a tradition long dead with history, but the idea of this god still holding onto life for the soul purpose of protecting those who may wander into its domain is a very human story, even if it’s behind a creepy mask with origins we don’t entirely understand. It’s inspired by my love of hiking and nature, I actually work in the summer as a camp counselor at a ranch that takes our campers backpacking on the weekends. Each of the human characters show some kind of recurring theme I see in the people I go on these hikes with, and some are named after them. I think drawing the sets and characters for this will be pretty fun, I look forward to it.

Character design is up next. I started with Robyn, the rest of the characters would follow in style.

I wanted Robyn to have a very childish look, but not dumb childish. Like a smart bookworm who has no idea how to survive outside a library, much less civilization. However, Robyn couldn’t look like they thrived in society either. They should be a shy nerd who’s out of their element everywhere, not just in the wild, which just makes being in the outdoors that much more terrible. I also wanted Robyn to come off as genderless so anyone could relate to them. The story isn’t about their gender or age (even though in cannon the characters are in college/university/living on their own, but the style still makes them look like children… oh well) it’s about the forest and how they interact with it.

I had a hard time getting a grip on the style I wanted, everything seemed so forced and I was never happy with what I drew. I kept erasing and redoing and changing without keeping anything. About halfway through the day, I was still only half a character sketch page done and feeling quite hopeless. I realized I was trying to be perfect on a sheet that wasn’t supposed to be. It Sucked… but I figured out the style I wanted. The t-shirt and swishy basketball shorts is the epitome of beginner hiker attire. I stopped caring so much about the quality of the drawings and just started drawing action poses.

The next most important character would be No One. I had a lot more fun playing with No One’s design, probably because I didn’t have to make it look human. I wanted to make them look imposing, scary, but made of the environment. Like, with clothes of moss and litchin. Almost stitched together. I played with making them tall, wider, hunched over, in layers. The hardest choice I had to make was the horn shape. I pulled a lot of references from different horned creatures even though the original skull was a red deer.

Eventually, I came up with final designs for both. I made up Haak and Maya while storyboarding, their designs were simple and based on real people, like their personalities. No worries ‘bout that. Their character models followed the base Robyn’s exploration found.

Next, storyboarding. I spent so much goddamn time in storyboarding. Not too much happened, but I did like plotting out everything. I realized I can pretty easily plot out the setting and where the characters are in relation to each other then manipulate the camera as needed. Pretty nifty. The only problem is 1. Im bad at drawing and 2. Drawing the same thing over and over again kinda sucks. I spent a lot of time designing the varying backgrounds the characters would walk through and played with how the forest would interact with them. For instance, what if a path suddenly changed or wasn’t visible on the second cross through? What if you could see the reflections of eyes in the cave shadows before the characters entered?

The idea originally started over the summer. I was hiking through a birch forest and noticed the markings on the white bark looked a lot like eyes… what if they were watching while you passed by? I let this fuel my imagination and inspire the script. I liked playing with where mystery or malice could hide in the forest, which is a lot of places. Sure, people generally feel threatened by the animals, but the terrain is arguably more dangerous. I didn’t want to introduce a wildlife enemy until the climax, or it would just make it less impactful. If a wild animal is revealed to be evil, it gives another face to the force tormenting them, which takes away from the little cameo No One gets at the start.

Nothing really important happened over the storyboarding period. Just little epiphanies. I realized I got better at drawing the characters and much quicker at it as time went on. I spent a lot of time editing shots and order, which is why the storyboards are messy AF. Made me feel kind of self conscious because everyone at my table had works of art for storyboards, but whatever. They’re supposed to be tools. I also made the very stupid choice to go over every single goddamn board in digital. It was hell. Next time, I’ll probably do everything digitally…

Capturing audio was hard not only because of the location but because of the season. For instance, I need cricket sounds, nature sounds, car sounds (that I could control), and quiet crisp sounds. Too bad I go to school and live on a street that’s triangulated by a fire station, police station, and hospital. And everyone seems to be lighting things on fire, getting crimed, or dying.

I got what sounds I could, but I had a fun time recording with everyone. It was the first time the class was forced out of their comfort zones and made to talk to the people outside their tables. It was a welcome change and I met some cool people. We would talk about what sounds we needed in our stories and whenever we realized how to get that sound it was a group epiphany with excitement. Too bad nowhere in Camberwell is quiet.

Instead of having one of them narrate my lines, I just did them myself at home with my own microphone. It was just easier because I knew what tone I wanted this character to be. In terms of pitch, I just edited it in Audacity. The quality of it didn’t matter, because it wasn’t supposed to be exactly human. I played with it being lower pitched, but if I wanted to make it seem like Robyn was the real narrator, I would need it to be higher. It sounds pretty close to what I wanted- hollow, indifferent, but all-knowing and wise beyond the years the voice should belong to.

I knew from the start I wanted one of two songs in the soundtrack, even though Joe said no songs… sorry, but I envisioned it with this music, it wasn’t structured around it but it was structured with it. Both are the instrumentals behind the songs, so there’s no words, but I did make a playlist of music I wanted to inspire this animatic with at the start. Both songs were at the top. The first song is “Welcome Home, Son” by Radical Face. It’s got a steady beat, good organic guitar, piano, and what sounds like bells. It’s got a REI feel to it (and I’m realizing now that you don’t know what REI is, probably… but I’m keeping the comparison because it’s true) which is kind of like adventuring somewhere greater than yourself, understanding the greatness of it, being slightly scared of it. Like you’re on a quest with no destination. Like facing the mortality and insignificance of yourself in this vast and wondrous world, but instead of fleeing in fear or rejecting the fear, accepting it and finding a home in it. The background vocals add to the feeling of humanity that’s not quite ‘human’ but when tested it tended to mess up the dialogue. The sound of bells and wind chimes was nice, like a feeling of emptiness or forgotten home. Just all around a great song. Also there’s a wind sound effect, like it’s blowing through the trees outside the mouth of a cave. I just think it’s neat and put it at the beginning.

The other song was “New Slang” by The Shins. It has a similar feeling to “Welcome Home, Son” but not quite as adventurous. Much like the song lyrics say, “Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth, only I don’t know how they got out, dear…” it’s about returning home with a bittersweet feeling, somewhere you don’t quite belong, but desperately want to. The simple guitar strumming and bass feel melancholy, and the calm electric guitar (never thought I’d say that pair of words together) just make it seem like an amble through the old woods in the backyard of your childhood home, visiting the old treehouse, and sitting in it alone as you remember back to when you weren’t alone in it and much smaller. The simplicity of the song adds less of a dramatic tone and a more organic and realistic one. It’s also more comforting than “Welcome Home, Son” due to less swells and changes in the sounds. It also has background vocals, but they’re much more human and less dramatic, they almost sound like a mourning wolf separated from his pack, but his calls go unanswered. The thing is the runtime is 1/2 that of “Welcome Home, Son”… The middle section, when edited, made up about 4 minutes.

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I played with both and enjoyed both results a lot. The music starts as they enter the forest and the narration starts, following them as they go on their adventure. It’s supposed to show that time’s passing like a montage, but also ends up showing how the danger is real and haunting when Ursa Major awakens in the bear.

My biggest issue while editing the animatic was sound design after the music cuts out. It ends at the perfect moment and even follows the story beats of the end, but after that I just had the haunting silence of the forest and the sound of the nature around the characters in which I had to put a dramatic fight scene. I didn’t want to bring the music back until No One revealed themselves to Robyn to show the connection had finally been made, but the fight scene between Robyn and Ursa Major was so empty… It felt like I was just layering bear grunts and damage sounds over dynamic shots, but it wasn’t translating as tense, it was just awkward. I also had trouble with selecting what sounds were real. Robyn doesn’t make any verbal sound, the only sound to come from Robyn is their footfalls and how they interact with the environment. I should have made more steady rules with how Robyn and the other characters are present outside of the middle montage.

Actually while I’m writing this I realized I could restart the music and have it cut back out once No One takes back their face… fuck.

So, what did I learn from this? That I storyboarded way too fucking much and made way too many fucking characters. I was told all throughout diagnostic to be free and reach for the stars, especially in communication, but the reality is in trying to tell the story I wanted I ended up drowning myself in work.

I really loved writing this story, though. That’s my favorite part of anything. Writing is the ONLY skill I have over everyone else, and I WILL flex on everyone when I get the chance. It was just too big of a story for right now. I mean, I got everything from a single deer skull, it didn’t seem like much at the time… Maybe when I’m better at all of this, I’ll revisit it and make it more like I pictured in my head. I felt like epiphanies kept coming to me as I was writing the script, but as time went on and I had to plan it, I would get too caught up in the details. I love preproduction though. Like, a lot. That’s for sure my favorite part of making animation and film. Just figuring out where everything goes and how it all works together is just so satisfying and I really enjoy it. A bonus is it doesn’t have to look like Perfect Art, either. The fact that it doesn’t look perfect is one of my greatest insecurities, but it’s something I’ll have to get over, and it’s easier to get over it if it’s forgivable/expected. I know once we do actual animation, it’ll just be harder to make longer stories and I won’t know how to cut down on it all… but whatever. I’ve always had a problem writing too much, so that’s just something I’ll have to learn to manage. I’ll try and do better next time. I was really tempted to make this a comedy, like I always do, but I didn’t. I made something serious for once, and it didn’t end up as I imagined, but it got close enough.

That’s a victory Royale.

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notedoesart · 7 years

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this is not notes full ref i still got to do his bad time mood, he does have one and im actually excited to do it, but i cant draw weapons very well....oh well practice makes perfect right? anyways like i said this is just part of notes ref but i will still add all his info this includes his bad time mood name:note age:havent decided (was thinking between 17 and 20) gender:male per:note is a mixture of bean gently and sweet to a shy, nervous wreck. most of the time he is fine i mean thats when he is not around people, note cant handle being around people that often, he will become shy and nervous and cant tell what to say and when that happens he becomes frozen in fear, this is when people just look at him like his weird say rude things under their breath and walk off, leaving note upset and more slucded, note gets nervous when people compliant on how cute he is, he will normally blush lightly and look away fiddling with his fingers, if someone really complaints him he will end up freezing in place, his eyes fade to black and he just stays in place squeaking. yes squeaking, sometimes when he is happy, scared, surprised or nervous he tends to squeak. he refuses to fight. as he is not much of a fighter but hurt a friend or attack someone who cant defend your selfs then, i say you better be prepared note is not harmless or weak he can get very mean when he is fighting, its like he becomes a whole other person. one more thing note can not for the life of him stand being alone, so if you make friends with him, but then suddenly leave him. he will go right into a panic attack and start freaking out, and if you end up coming back he might hate you for a while, he really does not like being alone. he also suffers from nightmares, so its best to be around to help him relax when things start to swirl around in his head bio/background note use to be a normal sans, being super lazy and sleeping half the time, well half the time most of his time was spent listening to music, and making wonderfully note puns when his brother yelled at him for not going to sleep, which resulted in him sleeping half the day away and staying awake during the night, another part of his reason for staying up is his father, W.D gaster always needed his help with his experiment, with trying to see if he could open some sort of portal to another timeline, though all of their attempts ended in failure though sans was never really bothered him, but it did however bother gaster, though he never really showed it, but sans could tell he was upset, he didnt need anything special to see how angry this was making gaster. though he just said a stupid pun which always made him laugh, they were happy though and everything was alright until......the year they came.....the human that is, sans was the first to greet them outside of the ruins he made friendly talk with them, but they just greeted him with a blank stare and a murders vibe, at first sans really didnt care and just said that they will see them later and soon left, he really didnt care for the human at this time, as he was more busy with other things, as he returned back to the lab he was greeted by gaster who had been watching the cameras with young alphys. he had asked sans if he could bring in the human, at first he was puzzle why did gaster want the human? before he could ask gaster quickly explained how the human could possess some kind of power he needed, sans was still puzzled and confused but agreed to bring the human in, before he left his brother showed up and asked him where he was going, quickly explaining what gaster wanted him to do, papyrus was all too excited to go, he never met a human before and he wanted to go, so sans allowed him to go i mean what harm could happen to them right? so sans and papyrus set off to find the human, little did they know the human was causing quite a stir, as they made their way threw snowdin, monster who were able too fled, others who coundt were...dusted to say the list, it was utter caous, monster fleeing for their lives while trying to say others they wernt really ready for this, their was little to no warning one of the royal guards who manged to survive a blow tried his best to get to snowdin and warn the monsters, but it didnt work out, as he was soon turned to dust, after that monster started to scramble running in fear, after an hour snowdin was silent, and dust flew around in the wind, their in middle of the town stood a lone child smirking, dust covered their ounce blue shirt with purple stripes, their brown pants no longer brown. the ends of their hair was also covered in dust. but they wernt done yet far from done and soon they made their way into waterfall..... hours passed and sans and papyrus soon came upon snowdin, sans was more rattled then papyrus as he noticed the dust, and soon tears trailed down his face as he saw pile of dust, a sudden thought in his head, what would of happened if papyrus would of been here, his eyes soon faded as more tears trailed down his check bones, papyrus soon noticed this and tried his best to comfort his brother, saying things were fine, but they were beyond not fine, thinking quickly sans soon grabbed papyrus and teleported back to the lab, where gaster looked confused, so sans quickly told him what was happening, gaster soon sighed and turned to alphys who looked scared and upset, gaster told sans he has been watching he too was worried about what was going on, and soon sent out a e-vac warning to all monster who where alive, to flee that a murders human was coming, gaster was able to get alphys to leave but when he went to go and make sans and papyrus leave, well they were stubborn and refused to leave, mainly sans though both gaster and sans wanted papyrus to leave, as neither one of them wanted him hurt, but papyrus was stubborn like sans, and so he stayed, so the tree of them decided to stay in the lab, gaster and sans kept papyrus away from the screen as they watched the human as they made their way into hotland, sans was nervous the human looked strong, he wondered how much LV they gotten since coming here, and how much more can they get? sans was siting at a table as he was talking to gaster about what they should do, both of them heard something, before they could react something exploded sending sans flying into the wall, he almost passed out but he was strong enough to keep him self awake, gaster came rushing over to him and asked if he was alright, sans nodded and stood up looking at the rising smoke, before he could asked he saw something flapping in the wind of the explosion a red scarf. his eyes widen and he tired to rush forward but gaster held him back as he called out for his brother, but he was answered with creepy laughter, and soon the human came walking out of the smoke, looking at them both smirking, sans took a step back taken back by fear, his brother.....his brother papyrus was gone turned to dust, fear was soon replaced with anger and hatred, finally pushing his father off sans rushed forward, to try and revenge his brother but the human was to strong and quickly grabbed a hold of sans and smirked, and said he should try again and went to go and kill him but gaster appeared ripping sans from the humans grip and getting hurt instead, he stumbled back onto a panel and panted from the wound though it didnt kill him, with quick thinking gaster quickly pressed a button and slowly a portal began to open, he then appeared besides sans who was half awake and half asleep, gaster last words were "dont come back son...until you've become stronger, please" with out a moment to lose as the portal didnt stay open for longer he pushed sans into it. as sans was pushed through the portal the human tired to follow, but gaster stopped them from following sans. as sans was floating waiting to see where he would end up, he passed out he didnt know what happened but his memories were eased. gaster after he said those finale words took his memories away, he didnt want sans to remember, not yet at least he was going to wait sans needed to remember on his own. finally after hours sans soon woke up in a empty space, remember nothing not even his name, and his clothes changed he didnt remember putting them on then again he didnt remember on how he got here or where he was, he became scared and alone, he didnt want to be alone he just didnt and soon had a mental break down, which he soon calmed down after an hour or two and just laid their crying softly, wondering what he should do......what was their to do? he didnt know, due to him not remembering his name, he was wondering what kind of name would he want? he wondered this after he calmed down, looking around he noticed the violin and thought for a bit before grabbing it and picking it up and tugged on a string, after letting it go it made a noise, he actually liked it and did it ounce again, but he didnt know what this was or how to play it but over time he slowly learned after many many trial and errors, as he played it he noticed that the notes on his sash and head band would glow, with faint yellow light. and he soon got his name from that note it seamed fitting to him and he enjoy the noises that came from the thing he played, and he started to feel less lonely, he spent a lot of his time learning how to play the violin, he loved it, but he noticed that ounce in a while, he will have these nightmares, which cause him to panic cause he will sometimes see flash images or hear voices calling out a name he didnt understand he was scared of them and blocked them out, he didnt want them to bother him...at all ahhh and their it is! at least a good bit of his bio/backstory its not done yet but *shrugs*what eves anyways ill start the comic on super soon i gotta sketch it out first and from their i will start the amazing adventure of note!! other info status level:30 HP:3,000/3,000 ATT:40 DEF:50 exp??? weapon:violin (youll find out soon) aromor:none gold:0 (for now) bad time mood info when note goes into bad time mood, he has to play his violin first, it has to be a very upbeat song. as his violin and bow string can turn into weapons, his bowstring becomes a sword, and his violin becomes a shield the shield only appears when he throws up his hands to block weather it be one or two hands, his shield can deflect most things if he is not carefully his shield can crack, which intern can crack his violin, which is why he does not use his shield often, his sword is the same way but it is stronger then his shield and holds all of the magic also in bad time mood note is able to make wings appear on his back allowing him to fly, though their not strong enough to keep him afloat for long attacks note is unable to summon bones, but how ever he is able and summon notes, as his attacks are music base ...yet....is somehow able to summon a gaster blaster. when he does summon one it will have faint glowing notes on its body and when firing a shot it almost sounds musically small note~ note is smaller then a normal sans i would say about 1 foot shorter, he really hates to be called short magic color: light yellow, all his magic ties with his violin he is barely able to use magic on his own soul color: light yellow with light yellow aura around it, it faces down like a monster soul outfit: wears a dark navy blue suit, with a white dress shirt underneath, wears a lighter navy blue colored dress pants, wears navy and light yellow colored boots with black notes on them, he has a big fluffy white collar(uses to cover his face with, i will allow people draw it where his fluffy collar is actually a hoodie), his sash holds his violin and bowstring, and he wears a headband with notes on it, the notes on his sash and headband light up when he plays his violin, the notes on his violin also glow up when he plays his violin i think thats it, if i need to add anything else i will, cause their is still stuff i need to add to note note belongs to me, his au name is quitetale sans, gaster and undertale belong to toby fox

~3~ hmm enjoy

#note #note!sans #quitetale #myau

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survivetashirojima · 4 years

Text

Episode #1- “This cast...this cast...this cast.“ -Timmy

who’s ready to get atomic up in this bitch?

okay so, first impressions(Aka First night vibes) Brien- you seem cool JG - KALOKAIRI BUDS Dylan - I have played 2 games with you, what up bud! Stephen - the third of the many Kalokairi Kevin - haven't played with you before, but im excited to Andrew- Heyo, you hosted me, im super excited to your playing style. Jacob- I've been in VL's with you but never played. Timmy- yet another Kalokairi buddy Jay? - you seem really cool. Joanna- I can't wait to play with you Julia- Montenegro gal! please don't vote me out first this time. Madison- i feel like we are going to confused for eachother alot. Pat- I want to get to know you better Tom- I have feelings about you, but I can't tell if they are good or bad yet Veni- BRO you don't know how happy i am to see you Ricky- I have a good feeling about you dude. Kenny- i can't wait to play with you! and to vibe check myself? STRESSED. this twist gave me a panic attack. we are good now. i am already freaking out about keeping my grade up (since i'm already failing a class) and challege is tonight and i have no time to do it. FUCK.

Day 2: still alone lost in the vast wilderness. No civilization in sight... the gods have forsaken me.... someone please send help... wait what is that I see? A camp? PEOPLE???? ITS BEEN SO LONG!!! Jkjk the hosts added the wrong person so I got added in like 2 hours after the actual start which isnt terrible Bc now i can just pretend I’m a pitiful little soul. Also like 1/3of the cast is people I’ve played with before but I haven’t even touched skype in like a year and a half so I have no idea any of them anymore!!! I hope we can all be friends again since from what I can remember, we were all on pretty good terms. My reaction to the “twist” is, it’s amazing. It fits my play style much more. Who needs idols? I rarely ever went to search for one and I was fine? Maybe... oof... also the whole everyone is in one tribe thing is really cool. More the merrier. It’s just really annoying Bc Skype is a pos. Anyways so far so good and I’m loving the people that are in the cast so far. Amazing cast and even more amazing hosts. I love all of them

okay so. first game back since surgery. olivia and lukas, love those bitches, but i was like i'm a working woman now so do you think that my work will interfere too much? and they were like nah, and i was like okay, so naturally, the first (live) challenge starts right in the middle of my shift. and this one tribe thing, wacky. this is gonna be one comeback game (if i get voted out first i am going to get surgery again and then never come back ever) (jk) (...kinda)

I wanna win immunity 😭😭😭

This cast...this cast...this cast. So i know like 90% of these people. I'm currently hosting 4 of them...was hosting 5. It's a very strong cast which is great, but it also means that anyone can go at any time. I'm just gonna talk about them in order of the cast reveal. Brien: I've never spoken to him and have still yet to. He's one of the people in ihos but he's quiet there. Andrew: another ihos person who I haven't spoken to. I've seen him around for years but we've never played a game together. Or at least have never been on the same tribe. Madison: big titty queen. I love her with all my heart and I have no idea what is going to happen with her. She messy but amazing so who knows. She did meet JG and Jacob in person a few weeks ago so they are all close, so i do need to keep an eye out for all of them, even though I am close with them. Ricky: another ihos, and he is friends with Andrew. I doubt he's going to work with me so that is concerning. But it's early so who knows. I'm already getting bored of typing things about everyone. Kevin: no idea, but he seems nice. Madeleine: A true queen and a sweetheart. Julia: no comment. Pat: i've seen him win 2 games that i have played with him. He is quiet but dangerous and I need to watch out for him in time, but for now he will be a good ally. Stephen: king, but does tend to go early. Idk where he will stand this game but we're already in an alliance together. Vi: haven't seen her in over a year, kind person. Dylan: cracked Kenny: no idea Joanna: scary legend who will go hard, but has been very quiet thus far. I wonder who quit right before the start of the game. Jacob: we never talk, but as of now he is who i have been talking to the most and I really do trust him. I am hoping this game is different for us and that we will actually work together. I'm excited to see what happens. Thomas: can't wait for him to strike out JG: King, who also is close with a few people, but i do trust him, but he can be a snake. Jay: It's been a minute since he's played. Not sure how to feel.

I GOT A POINT WOOOHOOOOOOOOO ONLY MISSED THE FIRST HALF OF THIS CHALLENGE

So. Uh. I got -3 points. I’m so talented. It’s okay though. I pretty sure I’ll be voted out first so it doesn’t matter how low of a score I get. I’m just trying to bribe everyone else with cute animal pictures DX even if people hate me, maybe they’ll keep me just for more cute animals.

Update: I lost another 5 points. Let me die already... at this point I don’t even need to piss off everyone else to lose. I’ll probably get like -500 points and automatically get kicked out of the game for being bad

-22 baby. I petition for the hosts to change the chat name from Tashirojima Challenge chat to Challenge chat. What the fuck. I keep reading it as the main chat Bc tashirojima seems like a tribe name. AT THIS RATE MY JEST OF -50 POINTS IS ACTUALLY GONNA COME TRUE!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT ALLIANCES I CANT EVEN FOLLOWRULES LET ALONE FIGURE OUT HOW TO WIN PEOPLE OVER TO MY SIDE ahhhhhHhhhhHhHHHHHH

Night 2 Vibe Check! (Featuring a quite drunk Maddie!) Andrew- haven’t talked to you much, but I want talk to you more! Ricky- you seem cool, we haven’t Talked yet today Tom- smooth Dylan, damn you and your fast phone Kevin- you are a freaking challenge beast! JG- I missed talking with you, I’m glad we are again Stephen- I hope you feel better soon! Jacob- you are good at challenge (This is where I stopped and started the next morning when I was sober) Jay- you’re cool! I like you Julia- imma take you to the end sister. Love you! You make me feel safe In this game Pat- I can’t quite get a read on you yet Vi- I can’t believe they added the wrong person! You are really cool! Love ya! Brien- you are really nice! Timmy- I am super excited that we are playing together again! Joanna- I’m sorry I keep forgetting your here! Kenny- you seem really cool but I need to get to know you better Madison- I don’t think we’ve talked yet, but I want to. And how I’m feeling, well I just lost immunity, so I don’t feel safe, I’m interested to see how this goes, this season is definitely interesting!

Hey out there! Long time no see! To be honest, I don't really have the first idea at what I'm doing. I kinda missed the first day and a half because I was working and then immediately went out with friends, but I think I'm making up for it! I'm starting to chat one-on-one with people, no strategy talk yet though. Which could be real dangerous since I don't have immunity, but there are people that just...haven't talked at all, as far as I can tell at least. Luckily I have a few prior connections in Madison, Joanna, and Andrew. I know Pat and Ricky too but I'm iffy on how they feel about me. I'm pretty sure I ghosted Pat's game earlier this year, SORRY PAT! I got busy and then I felt too embarrassed to show back up D: and I've just never been too sure about if Ricky likes me or not. But other than that I've talked a bit to Madeleine and Vi and I love them both, messy challenge chat icons. I totally missed some messages from Brien, Jacob, and Kevin though, but I've messaged them all back now so hopefully they don't hold that against me. Tribal isn't until tomorrow, so I assume that's when the real scrambling will begin. I just don't know when to jump into alliance talks, I don't want to play too hard too fast. But then I again, I want the chance to play at all.

Idk why Vi was so hard pressed on me not getting immunity. First it seemed like a joke, then they..... were really into it.

Interesting notes from within the first few days: Me/Jacob/JG recently met irl so that's cute Ricky/Andrew I think met a few months ago or something Brien and Pat are both from Philly hmmmm Everyone and their mother works retail in this game so we all suffer together or not at all Day 2 i got an alliance with Jacob and Timmy so that's cute but I'll probably be out first because let's face it I'm a threatening human and i ain't afraid to pull a machete on these kiddos.

Night 3 tea spill!* *has been cancelled due to emotions

So far I’m loling brien, and Vi. Madeline is kind of annoying if I’m honest. BUT we’re all in an alliance. I have a few familiar faces, Jay, Madison, Joanna, so I’m excited to see what happens this season

https://youtu.be/-_5c-vMFG9E

Quick Cast Assessment Time: Brien: we're in ihos spain together and we talk on and off but apparently ricky was like omg look at this ihos crew and brien was like whos andrew so i think thats where we're at rn. might work with him might not who knows Dylan: biiiig dylan fan personally and i know he can be sketch in games so i wanna be on his good side so he doesnt fuck me over right away Jacob: cool dude but ticking time bomb and idk if i can work with him but maybe i can work with him by proxy of ricky.......if he shows even one sign of being a bad ally he's literally out of this game Jay: furry back back back again and him and i usually work well together so im hoping something can come from that JG: i like him personally but hes just one of those people that exudes almost constant sketchiness which idk if thats necessarily his fault lmao and yeah idk i have to keep an eye on him Joanna: nice girl! wanna get to know her better for sure. i neglected to message her up until today when she actually messaged me first so whoops Julia: absolute crackhead who doesnt like me for funsies bc shes a troll but i think more and more people are hopefully seeing her mentally unhinged troll thing as tired lately and i really dont want her to last very long Kenny: i havent talked to him yet but hes a cool dude that i played literally one game with like two years ago so idk maybe we can reconnect Kevin: so i think he probably literally talks to everyone in the exact same fake nice gay man way so i have to be mindful that its prob just not me that hes overly nice to bc i know he can be intense and i know he can be good at these games so hes one im gonna try to keep close but also be willing to cut at any time Maddie: literal love of my fucking life who i want to work with closely in this game bc i know shes loyal and i know she can have my back if she trusts me enough Madison: nnnnnnn i mean i called her stupid in a diary room from bb gilmore over the summer which i think prompted her to leave our reunion chat so not the best start there. also i think her and jacob are up each others asses ever since they met irl so love that for me Pat: i just know hes mildly attractive Ricky: absolute number one ally who i trust with my entire coochie and the goal is to hopefully subtly run this entire game together Stephen: a nice man! we havent played together in a while and we worked together in that one game so maybe we can reconnect maybe idk Timmy: havent had the best personal experiences with him attacking my friends in vls.........idk i just find him annoying lmao is that mean Tom: hopefully going home tonight! Vi: i literally dont know if this is even a real person like i know she got goated in her first main series game for being the actual worst and then we brought her back for seychelles where she was one of the worst players ive ever seen so maybe she'll just disappear one day so i dont have to deal with her

I’m only voting tom cause that’s the only vote I’ve been told. It’s probably wrong but we’ll see

First off: https://drive.google.com/file/d/10IWN3bqYXYdJ232wG5fUhPmnDee8SP2i/view?usp=drivesdk damn thing finally loaded Second: God Vi gets on my nerves. Intentionally. I need to remember to just not talk to her or she’ll manipulate the view point to make me seem bad. She can’t play survivor to save her life but she’s god can she fuck up someone elses game. I look forward to voting her out.

CASUALTIES:

EPISODE 1 CAST ASSESSMENT:

PART 1:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jztyauZhcBY&list=PLB-4yJ0EHce-bxHQVmQVdrV6tx36_6Jly&index=5&t=0s

PART 2:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjoFbmrLSTc&list=PLB-4yJ0EHce-bxHQVmQVdrV6tx36_6Jly&index=5

#Purrvivor

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oyvavoy · 5 years

Text

1. do as much good for other people as you can and the same will be returned to you in some way by the universe. or at least just stay neutral. dont be a dick and try to have as much fun as you can

2. extremely important aspect of society, humans need a way to express emotion and the arts is a perfect way. make something beautiful out of what you feel

3. that its okay to feel

4. good fucking question i think maybe just try to put as much of yourself into your work as you can and dont be afraid to be raw and honest about yourself. reveal your flaws. it makes you more human and makes your work more personal

5. work that shows that the artist is not afraid to show everything that goes on in their head is always great work to me

6. i don’t know

7. i try to capture how i feel about what im observing through line and shadow. i like to keep my sketches lose and shaky because it gives me a feeling of imperfection. i like the imperfections of art, you can tell someone really put time into it

8. its everything i need to make my drawings, my inspirations

9. i cant. its hard to really communicate to people that thought process

10. simple one. do your work and then do whatever makes you happy for the rest of your time

11. the people i care about and my animation practice

12. people help me find inspiration, people give me their love, people show me that its okay to not take everything so seriously, that its okay to just be. most people are focused on their own lives so much, its interesting to see what its like on the outside looking in at just someone walking past me on the street

13. yes

14. someone to give you unconditional support when you need it, and someone to celebrate with you when you deserve to celebrate. love is refusing to let someone go through life alone

15. distance is something that couldve been but was lost on the way

16. quiet, in my own head

17. yes

18. they make everyones experience unique

19. what dis mean

20. i am actively trying to get what i think and feel out on paper in whatever means necessary

21. what

22. almost nothing except we were put here to do what makes us happy

23. sometimes its overwhelming all of the things around me to feel and process

24. i tell myself this is not how you want it to end

25. its a little hypocritical me saying this but be involved with other people, even if its just walking around outside, you dont have to interact with anyone but i think people watching is really great

26. yes

27. dont base your work on whats happening around you because everything around you always changes, base your work on what happens within you and youlll always be timeless. feelings are always going to be feelings, good or bad

28. focus on others instead of yourself

29. i dont! emptiness is cold

30. human

31. find likeminded people to spend your time with and you wont feel like you have to be someone else. its extremely important to be yourself

32. sometimes you do need to make active decisions yes

33. yes

34. im not one to limit what to think about, thats up to each person

35. no

36. everyone has desires, doesnt make them right or wrong its just the truth

37. honestly when it comes to other people i feel they have more of an idea of their intent than i do. when it comes to me i am always criticizing and comparing

38. not sure if people want to answer them

39. remember that we are all the same and feel the same things. we all get happy and giggly and full of life, and we all feel deep sadness from time to time

40. remember that everyone has an equally as complex life as you do

41. because everyone sees shallow since its on the surface, depth is something you have to work for

42. i just want to be happy

43. i want to be a gentle soul that tries to help whenever they can

44. with my ears because i cant pay attention

45. what

46. i believe thats called an introduction

47. because what they have is important to them and they dont want to live like they did before they had it

48. because it hasnt effected them yet, the past already has

49. care about things that actually matter

50. because thats how our beings are restrained. we grow old with time

51. love

52. besides food and shelter love and acceptance

53. let go of the past and look forward to the future

54. i get overwhelmed by too many people in a small space

55. its fun to be a little weird sometimes

56. there are a lot of people who think in similar ways, which isnt good or bad necessarily but sometimes its good to see something new as long as its positive

57. for the most part no

58. through my work

59. i think its good! as long as you arent recreating what someone else has already done. ive been influenced by many people

60. anger, self esteem issues

61. primal, focused only on survival

62. i cant see it i dont think it exists

63. honesty

64. honestly therapy dfkgjh

65. self centered people, people that refuse to truly connect with anyone out of the fear of someone knowing who they are no frills are people who lead poor lives

66. what

67. i dont necessarily detest it, i just think you need to find a balance between material things and spiritual things. not everything is about material things but its okay to like those things. just be reasonable

68. i think you can be happy in almost any situation if you think this way

69. i dont face it because i fear it, it reflects the pain ive had to feel up to this point. once something happens i dont want to bring it back into my head but sometimes it seems i dont have a choice in the matter

70. absolutely. its always good to ask questions

71. i feel somewhat satisfied but far from full

72. it is but i dont think that person would grow much at all

73. i think nature itself transcends beauty

74. to an extent yes

75. i want to move people

76. expose yourself to as many different experiences as possible to broaden your inspiration

77. because it makes them safe

78. depends on the thing

79. accept that sometimes things just happen without a reason

80. its not necessary but being remembered is always positive if youve done good in life

81. stop caring about everything, turn completely inward

82. what

83. you know yourself by living with yourself. spending time alone you get to know yourself quite well

84. because not everyone should think the same as other people. you experience life completely differently to someone else so opinions should usually reflect that

85. by spending time together, not necessarily doing something, just being in each others company i find i get attached to people if i can just be with them without needing to do something with them too

86. see 36

87. i think its scary, i cling to the known as do most people i think

88. someone taught them to think that way

89. if someone goes out of their way to tell you their negative opinion of you or what youre doing then their opinion shouldnt matter to you in the first place because they come from a place of negativity

90. open and honest, moving, unique and creative

91. what

92. thinking about it inspires you and makes you want to do great

93. keep asking yourself what can you do to be better

94. i believe its a real thing

95. trust and communication

96. you talk to them

97. people and the environment are both living things, you must treat them with respect and care

98. free

99. its important to know your tastes

100. people need to constantly be questioning their lives to improve them

#long #submission

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