#tho this is making me h*rny | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ginkgo-phyta · 2 months

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I'm back again 😅

Hopefully, I'm not the only person with this opinion, but how do you think Spencer would react if his significant other told him that they thought he looked hot with his bulletproof vest on? 👀

omg is this injured spencer request anon?? I NEED TO KNOW im so sorry if it's not tho, whoever you are thank you so much for coming back!! i love you with all my heart you should use a special emoji as like ur own lil signature! :D

okay so i wanted to try blurb(?) format but mmm okay not really cuz just a wall of text was stressing me out but this is def more informal than my other work (look no capital letters!) and because i love you so much i present two scenarios for you :P... i cant fight this feeling anymore guys he rlly is so hot in his vest im becoming my most feral self grrrrr RAH RAH ALRIGHT hope you enjoy, my love!

OKAY SO SPENCER REACTING TO YOU TELING HIM HE'S HOT IN HIS FBI VEST gn! reader, fluff, second scenario a little steamy in tone but nothing explicit just h*rny vibes, no other warnings

if you weren't a profiler: you'd never thought about it before- spencer in his bulletproof vest. sure, you knew that his job required him to go into sticky situations where the prospect of gunfire was imminent and he would have to wear proper equipment, but you never put two nd two together. you never even thought of a kevlar vest as something that could be hot...until you saw a picture of him wearing it.

"what the hell is that." you blurt out, voice serious with hints of concern.

"huh?" spencer's as clueless as ever, a little worried about your reaction. he was just showing you random photos his team members had taken over the years, all printed out for easy viewing courtesy of the ever-so-accommodating penolope garcia. someone had taken a pic of a beautiful lake where the bau had saved yet another victim, the sun dipping below the horizon line of pine trees, painting the sky purple and pink. "um...the sunset?" spencer was confused, "i guess maybe it was kinda a weird time to take a photo, but no one was hurt and we caught the unsub and the sky really did look-"

you cut off his rambling with a wave of your hand, eyes never leaving the photo in front of you, "no, no...what's that." you point to what you were talking about, a figure standing off to the side.

spencer takes a minute, becoming even more bewildered "...me?" in that moment your world changed.

"oh my god... "you whispered in a daze, firmly pulling the picture out of spencer's fingers and into your own, "what...what are you wearing?"

"honey what's wrong? it's just my bulletproof vest. i know it might look a little funny, but it, y'know, keeps me alive..." he scratches the back of his neck. a couple seconds of silence pass, but to spencer it feels excruciatingly long.

"spencer," you look at up at him deadpan "you look so fucking hot." to say your boyfriend was shocked would be an understatement.

he was absolutely blown away by your response, so much so that the way his face contorted looked borderline disgusted. "wha-what?? huh? what?" he clamored, eyes flitting over your face to find any sign you were joking.

"seriously, baby, you look so good. oh, my God!!" you almost shriek, gripping the picture tighter, the widest, dumbest grin pulling up your cheeks as you giggle like a schoolgirl.

spencer smiles at your reaction, still a little perplexed "you really think so?" the notion begins to sink into his bones, making him giddy.

you very enthusiastically nod your head, "are there any more pictures of you like this?" you rip the rest of the photos out of spencer's hands, scouring through them at light speed. out of nowhere, spencer laughs out loud, his nose scrunching in delight.

"i...don't know what to say. i'm flattered you think that," a wonderful blush shimmers over his cheeks, "but no i don't think there are. sadly." he playfully adds.

you stop all movements, slowly turning towards him, suspiciously calm. "well then," you grab your phone and suddenly stand up "looks like i'll just have to ask penelope for some!"

"wait! wait, no!" spencer calls after you as you start speed-walking away, your shirt barely escaping his fingertips. he yells out your name, his serious tone interrupted by a giggle of his own as he begins chasing you, "get back here!" he knows: garcia can never ever find out about this...

if you were a profiler: you had seen spencer don his FBI branded bulletproof vest hundreds of times over the years. although you had pined over him for years and were now finally in a relationship with him, seeing him like that didn't make you feel any type of way really. sure, you thought he looked strong and handsome, but most of the time you were too caught up in the case or situation at hand to focus on how he looked. until now. something had shifted in him in the last few months, not just with his ever-changing haircut, but within the way he held himself; more confident, more sure of himself, even more cocky, if you will. whatever it was, it drew your eyes to him in his tight little vest like a lightbulb draws in moths- instantly and continuously. it all came to a head when you caught the unsub responsible for drowning and resuscitating his victims until they couldn't be brought back to life. spencer dove into the lake with emily to apprehend the killer while you had helped the kid he had hostage reunite with his mother. you smiled at the scene in front of you, the teenager running into his mother's shaking arms, her holding him close in a tight embrace. another good ending, you thought to yourself before turning back to watch your fellow profilers make the arrest. suddenly, you mouth goes dry. there spencer reid stood; soaking wet, clothes sticking to his skin, chest rising and falling as he panted to catch his breath, his hand pushing his wet hair out of his face. and that stupid, goddamn kevlar vest. oh, fuck. the others walked away from the dock to situate everyone and themselves in respected vehicles that sat back on the road a few hundred feet away from where you currently were. as spencer moved to follow behind emily, hands trying to flick the water off of him, your gaze stopped him in his tracks. he stood there, a bit confused as to why you were walking towards him, seemingly entranced, instead of beelining behind everyone else.

he spoke out your name, but you remained silent, stopping just a couple feet away from him. you took him in one more time: the way his shirt became translucent, granting you with peeks of his skin; his sleeves rolled up, showing off his delicious forearms; the way his soaked pants choked his thick thighs. you became woozy with desire. spencer watched as your eyes dragged over his figure, drinking in every inch of his dripping body. "oh, baby..." you voice drawled out as soon as your gaze landed on his bulletproof vest, "you're absolutely soaking wet." spencer's eyebrows shot up his forehead at the suggestive twinkle in your timbre. you approached him further, chest just inches away from his. if he wasn't so intrigued by your reaction, he would have been a bit more cautious of lingering teammates. your hands came up to ghost over his vest, "did i ever tell you how good i think you look in this?" you looked up at him through your lashes.

spencer chuckled, "in the bulletproof vest?" you nodded in response, but spencer still couldn't really believe it. "uh, no, actually, you haven't." his eyes glinted at the way you bit your lip, his hands moving on their own accord to rest on your hips. you could feel droplets of water seep into the material and lick your skin, but you didn't give a rat's ass.

"well, you do." you whisper, hands wrapping around the back of his neck as you pull yourself up to press a kiss to his lips, "really, really good." your mouth moves enticingly with his.

"oh? is that so?" he whispers against your lips, diving back in, his fingers digging in your hips. he graciously kisses you for a moment before it dawns on him that you're both still at work- in an active crime scene, at that. "mmh, mmh!" he vocalizes between kisses as he tries to move his head back a smidge. his eyes peak open just enough to see if anyone else was around. your lips are addicting, rendering him unable to fully tell you to stop, unable to fully pull away himself. he's relieved when he spots no one. still, he know this is far from appropriate. spencer's hands move up your body to wrap around your wrists behind him, pulling them away from him and the same time he pulled away from you, "okay, okay!" he breathes out with a chuckle, "i believe you now" he tries to catch his bearings, but your pouting face causes him to laugh again

"spencerrrr," you groan at the loss of your beloved's kisses and he turns you around and pushes you towards the spot where the others vanished, walking behind you with his hands on your shoulders, your body held at an arm's distance.

"let's go, angel." his words brought out a hmph! from you. "we can do more of that later at home" he whispers, leaning in ever-so-slightly.

you turn your head back to get a glimpse of him, your eyes and smile equally wide with excitement, "can you bring the vest with you?!"

A/N: OKAYYYY lemme stop myself before things get filthy LOL do yall know which episode im referring to in the second scenario? that end scene will always get me my eye are GLUED to spencer the entire time GODDAMN. okay anyway i hope you liked this anon!!! pls tell me yalls thoughts <3

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #dr spencer reid #matthew gray gubler x reader #criminal minds fic

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wish-i-had-robin-wings · 2 years

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#literally so embarrassing #stopped myself from making an embarrassing post then proceeds to post about not making the original post #why?! nobody had to know anything but nooooo #sleepy med brain was like lmao tell everyone #anyways!#sorry if y'all saw that I am more awake and alert now so it has been deleted #I mean really tho can't believe I did that lol #side note: I am making a sideblog but like if think of me in any positive way don't look #it's gonna be cringe and h*rny and I am embarrassed of my taste #but I really need to clear up my drafts on this blog sooooo #god I'm so sorry lmao gonna go lay down and die now

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abiiors · 3 months

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thinking thoughts ab being the one to give ross his haircuts 🤭🤭🤭 he’d probably love it, i think he’d find it super relaxing and he’d maybe get all sleepy during it… running your fingers through his hair?? sounds like heaven to me ngl

ooo n then finishing up his hair and like blowing the hair on his neck to blow the hairs away why can i imagine him groaning and then pulling you onto his lap but before you let him go all soft dom on you, you start complimenting him and his hair and he gets shy from all the attention and praise so he starts blushing and giggling and trying to hide his face or something and then maybe you start giving him kisses all over his face and that just exacerbates his shyness, i can see this being either a super soft moment or super h*rny moment but most of the times i think ab this (it’s a sleep scenario for me hehe) it ends up being both 💀

(also this isn’t me asking you to write smth based off of this, i just wanted to share these thoughts with you cause we’re both ross girlies <333) (i do love your writing though, thank you for sharing it with us <333)

I AM NOT JOKING WHEN I SAY I SCREAMED INTO THE PILLOW THIS IS SO CUTEEEEEEEE

it's definitely a last-minute haircut. he's been putting it off or forgetting to get one or just hasn't had the time to get one because of his schedule. so you take pity on him and offer to trim it a bit for him (2 am post-breakup bangs def count as hairdresser experience, okay? that and the fact that you were the designated hairdresser in the house during the lockdown!) anyway, he trusts you'll do a good job plus he gets a scalp massage on the house for being your fav customer 🤭

he's on the dresser chair, eyes closed, looking absolutely blissed out with a soft lil smile on his face while you trim his hair. you run your fingers through them too, mostly to make sure they're even from all sides but also to run your nails across his scalp and watch him shiver in delight. once you're done you jokingly tap on his shoulder and say "right, that'd be 200 quid" and before you know you're being pulled onto his lap, arm tight around your waist while he's all shirtless with freshly cut damp hair and smirking at you.

"200 quid, is it?" he teases back "forgot my wallet tho. can i pay you...some other way?"

and you giggle at how cheesy he is but he won't stop looking at your mouth or pulling you closer until you're completely pressed up against him. and you do try to tease him back like "we are not in a porno" but he just hits you with the "we could be" and a wink and well who are you to refuse him 🤭

#✉️#ross macdonald #ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald x you #♡: ross blurbs

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lesbiandanhowell · 5 months

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Sam reacts to: HOUSE BUILDING SPECIAL EPISODE - Dan and Phil play The Sims 4: Season 2 #3

"If you're really passionate about it I support you" unironically so fucking smooth there Howell

Not them shading the Dutch and Amsterdam and I am getting offended even tho I only moved here! (But they are right, the toilet in the room is tragically a thing...)

The owl joke has me confused for as long as Dan and he looked SO COZY when he got up in his jumper covered hands and the joggers aww.

The roofing idea is actually kind of smart? Also the little lavender info about their garden, wholesome

I love learning all the little domestic facts about their new house, it makes me feel like we really are part of their lives again in some way (parasocial much I know okay?)

Phil so casually saying Bitch caught me off guard

So can we get a virtual house tour of their house through the rebuilt in the sims?

OUT OF ALL PICTURES THE CATBOY ONE REALLY

The way they agree on carpet in the bedroom is actually so?! Because it's such a controversial choice ngl

I can't make up my mind if I understand or don't understand how they managed to build their actual house together.

Phil: "Youtube has a thing now"

Also Phil: doesn't do the thing

"The more places to wahoo the better" - I am once again learning more about their personal s*x life than I ever wanted to know

Phil is so extraordinarily h*rny in this video I don't know how to live with this

Do you think they solve disagreements in their actual relationship with rock-paper-scissors because I do feel like they would.

I hate to admit: the house looks actually really good and it feels extremely them.

#HOUSE BUILDING SPECIAL EPISODE - Dan and Phil play The Sims 4: Season 2 #dan and phil #dan and phil games #dnpg #amazingphil #dan howell #sam reacts

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gallus-rising · 1 year

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here we go. i’m doing it and no one can stop me

i am (going to attempt) to rank all stands by sexiness starting with the JoJo’s themselves. by the end of this “project” all of the winners will be pitted against each other in a final showdown, as judged by me, Standfucker Extraordinaire. unfortunately no TJL stands will be included as we’ve not seen enough of them in action. sorry Jodio 😔

plz keep in mind that these are only my objectively correct opinions u-u

11: Tusk Act 1

marketable plushie lookin ass

10: Tusk Act 3

change up the colors and this thing the world’s ugliest sleep paralysis demon

9: Hermit Purple

its just vines. idk what i’m supposed to say. comes w Joseph’s slut energy built in. it’s cool that its purple i guess?

8: Tusk Act 2

Johnny you have 4 stands and almost all of them are ugly as sin wtf man. the design is finally fun so points for that at least

7: Crazy Diamond

now we’re getting onto the fuckable stands babyyyy

Crazy Diamond is just a tad much. his colors are ok, the hearts coordinating w Josuke’s design are cute. but then there’s the plating, the helmet, the tubes(??), and he even suffers from jjba Codpiece Syndrome. it’s all a bit much and doesn’t quite fit. in some of the anime promo art they gave him a sparkly diamond texture, but besides that i don’t care for him all that much.

6: Star Platinum

using the DiU palette bc of all the Star Platinum colors it’s the best. the pastels are cute and make for a fun contrast w the big muscles

an oldie but a goldie. bc Araki hadn’t gotten his footing w stand designs yet Splat looks more unique in retrospect. hair and clothing, capable of facial expressions, a tasteful loincloth as opposed to Another Fucking Codpiece.

i also think it’s cute how artists like to draw him w starry hair :>

5: Gold Experience Requiem

GER? this guy fucks. there’s simply no other way to put it. he fucks so hard. unfortunately points have to be redacted for that dead eyed stare and unmoving grimace. GER could be so much higher if he didn’t have such an awful baked in expression and this will become an unfortunate running theme. maybe if GER had more screen time that could be mitigated, but alas...

4: Stone Free

one of the few female stands, which sucks bc Araki goes off w girl stands. just look at her. the blue accented by gray, the radical bright green sunglasses, the sexy hints at her string powers, she even complements Jolyne nicely if stand/user synergy is needed. she’d probably be higher up if we saw more of her bc Araki prefers to show off her powers via having Jolyne psychically unravel which is fun! but does mean this beauty didn’t get enough time to shine 😔 not sure how i feel abt the bumpy texture as well. makes things a bit busy

3: Tusk Act 4

finally!! after 3 shit stands Tusk strikes gold in the final hour. its weird, its pink, its got (jo)stars its a cowboy, what more could you want??

more screen time goddamn it!! Tusk Act 4 gets like 2 and a half physical appearances across 2 parts. Araki wtf man. Tusk Act 4 just fucks so hard tho so it’s gotta be top 3

2: Soft & Wet

YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEA!!! NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL A FUCKABLE STAND! Soft & Wet is the platonic ideal of a MC stand. fun mechanical parts, cute little face, the Stand Tubes finally serve an aesthetic purpose and aren’t just awkwardly tacked on. he also has such pleasing colors and silhouette. i love him so much and he’s easily one of the best, cutest, most sexy stands in all of jjba

However

Soft & Wet has 3 variants and they all look the same. base Soft & Wet, Josefumi’s Soft & Wet, and GO ⭐ BEYOND are identical. so many good multi-stage stands and Soft & Wet drops the ball on every level 😔

1: Gold Experience

Gold Experience is not just fuckable, he’s h*rny. nonstop GE everyday all the time GE is just Like That and the sheer confidence of it all overpowers the few negative aspects of his design. even the Fucking Codpiece

GE has more than 1 facial expression and a sexy alt form to mix things up. he pairs w Giorno perfectly. he’s got a Lot going on w the loud colors, ladybugs, wings, helmet, teardrop markings, vague insect texturing, and hints of The World. but unlike Crazy D it all ties together. amazing. flawless. unbelievable.

and if you don’t know what i mean when i say GE is h*rny. BEHOLD:

in every one of his Iconic poses he is dtf. the h*rniest stand for the h*rniest part. this is how it was meant to be godbless godbless and goodnight.

#*furious pecking*#jjba #the standfuckining #<- to block this nonsense

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ojos-de-hechicero · 2 hours

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tmi

i think i can actually make it this year without having sex. i’ve mostly been feeling very sex repulsed, like yeah, i’ll be h*rny here and there but the thought of being naked and that close to someone freaks me out. like there’s no one at this moment that i’m like actively swooning over. even irl like my crush on someone will last like 5 mins then i’m like *gagging*

this probably needs to happen tho. sure i haven’t seriously dated someone since 2018 but i’ve had too many stupid “situationships” to want to just be so causal about who i let around me. also just very crazy that i was SA’d going on 2 years ago now & i still tried dating after that. i was so careless but also the people i was seeing were so inconsiderate & careless of my safety.

people can be very evil. so imma stay my ass alone fr.

#p//#not unless by SOME MIRACLE i meet someone in philly #which i highly doubt buuuuut you never knooooooow

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bright-and-burning · 2 months

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unhinged ask time:

a/b/o opinions on the Ferrari, McLaren, and Williams garages

just poured a second mason jar let's get this bread. i am here to SPEAK MY TRUTH!!! (and also with the caveat that i am the most easily convinced person on the planet when it comes to the Dyanmics [here referring to both a/b/o dynamics and also in general how mfs be interpersonally relating] so like. my opinion will be different as soon as 11:30pm EST and Definitely by whenever i finish the next a/b/o fic i read. very recency bias influenced). also click clacking on my laptop drunk occasionally pausing to sip on my wine is SO FUN i feel very uhhh typewriter-using drunken noir writer i just need a cigarette and like. a femme fatale

carlos - i mean . alpha is the go to right? (i have no idea actually) omega carlos would be FUCKING INSANE tho actually my god those eyes... a crime. alpha but more than a little down bad (sub alpha carlos would be . BONKERS actually tho)

charles - well we all know the go to here. and i dont disagree lol. assigned pretty boy by internet. can i be honest here for a sec. i do fuck with a good bitching fic (MORE ON THIS LATER) (there's a batman fic w this premise that makes me more insane than you could even fathom. well actually two. im realizing i read a truly absurd amount of porn) so like in theory alpha charles... also i kind of think beta charles would be kind of hilarious in a . u r so omega coded and yet... kind of way. sluttin it up anyways

lando - I SUBSCRIBE TO ANYTHING FOR THIS MAN!! small freak alpha? yeah alright. big-handed sharp-edged omega? yeah i got u. altho the whole obsessed-w-being-smaller thing is Soooo chewy w/in the context of being an alpha ykwim.... i do think he is too freak-coded (or what did that person on tiktok say. "h*rny") to be a beta.

oscar - my guy is also malleable. i lean towards alpha i Think? although i am being influenced by thinking ahead to my logan answer lol. he's just very in control but in a way that is fundamentally a little sharkish to my brain. but also like i have distinct memories of some truly bonkers omega oscar fics... im still gonna say alpha i think. beta feels like both a cop out and like im calling him boring. and i dont think he's like. blank is the wrong word. perfectly stationary all the way down... i think he's got this mildly hidden Hunger that doesn't lend itself to beta designations... altho idk a Hungry beta would be kinda . something to consider...

logan - alright my brain was fundamentally reset by . hold on im gonna find this on ao3 bc it was truly life changing. i'll come when you call me a little bitch. (alpha logan who is a big fan of getting dicked down by alphas) except in the process of searching for this . i discovered that of my five bookmarks tagged w both logan and a/b/o. there are 2 alpha logan fics. 2 omega logan fics. one false-front-of-beta-truly-omega logan fic. and i love them all dearly. technically this should be a 3-2 vote for omega but like. i think logan can be spun in many different directions !!! also lowkey beta logan feeling like he's constantly on the outside of whatever the fuck is brewing... kind of chewy in an emotional conflict sense. anyways final vote very tentative sub alpha logan.

alex - alpha i think . world's most disdainful and unclockable omega? but probably alpha. sorry i ran out of steam i don't have an essay for him. i really really really enjoy alex in alpha4alpha fics tho

#ask #i... am not tagging this w the drivers. lol.#does this satisfy? do u disagree anon #pls lmk some of these i was truly Pondering On

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