#to not have to spell out something i want bc the other person cant be bothered to know me

[apompkwrites]

HII its been soo long since I've written and I'm sorryy😭. But your recent Asim family story has finally given me inspiration! Also this may not be accurate bcs once again, I have forgoten:') So here is Lil!Asim's story!

Tw: Kidnapping, sad lilbaby:(

Being a part of the Asim family looks like something of a luxury, and it is, if you don't mind the monthly kidnapping, having 30+ siblings and always at stake of food poisoning, assassination, or being married off to another family to build connections. Life for Lil!Asim isn't remarkable, wake up, check for food poisoning then eat, study with your half siblings about something you will never use, lunch, walk around the palace, dinner and sleep. Since they have a lot of siblings, there are birthdays almost everyday, but most of them don't get celebrated by the royal family. The only real important birthday, or child to put it bluntly is Kalim, possibly the only one of their siblings who isn't born from a concubine. Since he is the oldest he is expected to take on the duty of Sultan from their father so most of their attention goes to him. Lil!Asim feels jealous of Kalim, not because they want to take over as Sultan and rule, but because they want the amount of attention that he gets.

Being the nth sibling in the family means that they usually get overlooked, alot. Sure they have their other siblings and their personal servant to confide in, but their siblings either are too young to understand, don't care, or have just accepted their life as is. They feel guilty ranting to their personal servant knowing that given the chance, they would switch places with them in a heartbeat. One day while they were walking around a more secluded part of the palace they hear a rustling sound, thinking that it's just one of the younger ones trying to sneak up on them Lil!Asim turns around and a handkerchief is shoved against their mouth and they black out.

They wake up in a dark room tied to a chair, gagged and with no way out. "I'm gonna assume this isn't the first time your family has experienced one a' their kiddies gettin' napped" A voice speaks to them in the dark. "I'm gonna cut to the chase, your gonna be held for ransom for about hmmm.... 2 Million Madol, the royal family must have at least that much right? But here's the catch kid, we ain't gonna give ya back." They snicker sinisterly as they see Lil!Asim's panic "We' gonna kill ya right in front of ya folks. I mean realistically speaking I don't think they'll care all that much. You got a buncha' siblings and you arent that old so, what's the harm in losing one kid?" Lil!Asim's heart races and aches at the same time, not only from the fear of their fate, but because the kidnapper is right.

In the past their older siblings have been kidnapped, but all the assailants were delt with. Lil!Asim was more of a middle child and they weren't as important as their older siblings. Why would their father waste 2 Million Madol on them? Why would he send out someone to rescue them? Why were they even here? Why did they have to be an Asim? Why cant it be someone else? "Welp, imma leave ya to wallow in your existential crisis and ACK! – " A sudden crash comes through a covered window. Lil!Asim's eyes took a little time to adjust to the light, they were shocked to see Kalim and his personal servant Jamil on the flying carpet. Jamil went and apprehended the kidnapper with a spell and Kalim approached Lil!Asim and hugged them tight. "Oh Lil!Asim I was so worried! When I heard from your personal servant that they haven't seen you around I asked them wear you last were and ahhug I can't tell you how worried I was when I saw your hair ornament on the floor." Kalim ranted on, Lil!Asim was uncomfortable, wasn't this what they wanted? Didn't they want attention? Why are they so unhappy now? Out of the corner of their eye they saw Jamil signaling to hug Kalim back to not seem suspicious.

They were about to return to the castle when Jamil said that he will report to the Sultan on his own. He gave Kalim a look and walked off, Kalim seemingly understood and offered to give Lil!Asim a carpet ride to cool off the nerves. They cant remember when they last went of a ride with their big brother on his carpet since they were children. Lil!Asim feels Kalim hug them once more and feel tears flowing onto their shoulder "Ah! uh.. Brother, why are you crying? I'm...I'm okay now" The white haired boy hugged them tighter "I know that kidnappings are common for a family like us but – your so young... and if I didn't come and find you... I can't even imagine what could happen.." Lil!Asim hugs their brother back as they start to understand why they were discontent with attention like this. If they would have to make people worry and fear their safety just to make their family look their way, why crave that kind of attention at all?

Their little joy ride ended when Lil!Asim pointed out the stars and they returned to the castle. Their younger siblings crowded around them as they cried abound being worried and scared of big sibling being taken. Kalim still didn't feel comfortable leaving them alone so they had a sleep over like the good old days.

YAY ITS DONE OMG ITS LONGER THAN I THOUGHT( ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) uhm to clear up the last part where Lil!Asim understands why they are unhappy is like... If the only attention they will get is by worrying friends and family rather than say a birthday, why get any attention at all? ANYWAY YES THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT WITH ME <333 - >:} anon

GUYS NEW LIL ASIM FIC JUST DROPPED

okokok i love the writing of lil asim realzing that they wanted attention but not at the expense of their family :OO like, they crave the love and attention they've been deprived of but the moment they get it, they realize that when it spawns from worry it's bitter and unwanted.

and and them bonding with kalim during a carpet ride!! and stargazing!! ugh i love them

#a pompk answers #black sheep #a >:} anon's rambles

[elphael]

the. brain surgeon??? willow. she's pretty i like her c:

the funniest part is willow is arguably so normal and absolutely not normal at all. i created her because @criticalrolo made kestrel and i was like "do you want him to have an an enemy to bounce off of" and oops now they're in love actually.

she had a pretty normal childhood and upbringing and her parents were the sort of fantasy upper middle class where it was expected that she do something academic and she just became really interested in brains and specifically how enchantment magic messes with people's brains and how to break geases and charms and etc.

so she was a magical brain surgeon. her entire specialty was a) regular brain surgery and b) brain surgery on spells or fixing memories that are blocked by magic and etc with a psychic scapel

she was just like. someone whose so largely dominated by their work that she has absolutely no life outside of it and no friends and was like. that's fun. whatever. (one of her hobbies is cringe. it's sitting in a public place casting detect thoughts and listening to other people's conversations while she sits alone. loser)

she's a skilled enough brain surgeon that there's a technique named after her. the amaryllis (her surname) technique is an innovation on how to do brain surgery of the magical variety (bringing people's memories back, putting them behind a wall, breaking a geas or charm, etc) with it causing little to no pain to the subject if you DO It Right. So the funniest part about willow is like. SHES A REALLY FUCKING GOOD DOCTOR WHO WAS DOING DECENT THINGS.

then the war gets WORSE and the military has so many pow and regular interrogation isn't working so they're like. hey. do you want to have an insane salary. and willow's life is shallow and she's apathetic to a sense of self or morality enough that she says yes.

she starts just. getting information out of people's brains for the military. that's what she does, and eventually she ends up with kestrel whose figured out Time Magic. which is something everyone wants. she's like. okay. normal job time, just find this info and get out. And This Fucking Idiot, RAMS HIS BRAIN AGAINST HER PSYCHIC SCALPEL SCRAMBLING HIS BRAIN SO SHE CANT GET ANY INFO AND CAUSING HIMSELF IMMEASURABLE PAIN.

he breaks out during this bc he goes So Wild magically from that meanwhile willow is just like. my guy. i. wasn't gunna hurt you.

she keeps working for the military but that incident is kind of the catalyst for realizing she lives a very shallow life and doesn't really like ANYTHING which is. bad. and also her habit of having detect thoughts going / being in the brains of people often doing surgery means she is realizing. people are either afraid of her, feel sorry for her, or think she's a terrible person for what she does.

so she starts to have an arc of 'hm. am i a bad person? yeah maybe i should step away and figure out how to be a better person and how to have relations.' and she tries to quit her job w/ the millitary. they say. what the fuck no. she says. ok. and learns that having a psychic scalpel is just as good for fixing brains as it is for absolutely destroying them. and walks out <3

and then eventually at some point meets kestrel and he's freaking the fuck out while she's like 'oh hey, sorry about that. can i fix your brain? why won't you let me fix your brain. kestrel. let me fix your brain it's broken. PLEASE.'

#asks #she's arguably SO FUCKING NORMAL about everything but Brain Surgery #and mechanically is some combo of whispers bard/soul knife/ and enchantment wizard #🧠

[hostilemuppet]

Hello, long time regem follower here, I was wondering: Since the non-human characters change their appearances when they go to the overworld, do they also use nicknames or can they just say "Hi, I'm Zircon" and everyone else is cool with it? If they use nicknames, what are they?

it depends on the character! both in terms of their personality (would they care enough to come up with a fake name to hide their real identity?) and whether their real name could pass as a human name

i think zircon still goes by zircon. it feels like itd be a name a cool faux-punk artsy chick would pick for herself, and thats the vibe she wants, she WANTS men to think she can be their manic pixie dream girl so she can pick them off easier

sunstone, she cant exactly go by sunstone if she wants to make it big online and not be laughed off as a run-of-the-mill weirdo, so she instead goes by sunny. moonstone doesnt have a "name"; he tells every girl he pursues a different name, and when sunny mentions her manager she only calls him "luna"

amber is already a human name so theyd have no problems there. aquamarine REALLY wouldnt care but i think amber and maybe cinnabar would get worried about it, so maybe they call her "marina", which she thinks is dumb. cinnabar could probably get away with being called "cinna", or maybe cindy

jade, again is already a name

sapphire i think would go by ms sapphire, with it being her surname. she would not answer when asked for her given name

bloodstone is tricky, bc she doesnt really... interact often with any humans other than isaac, but isaac would still need a name to tell people about his girlfriend, and bloodstone isnt exactly a rock you can easily get a name out of. im thinking something super on-the-nose goth, preferably vampiric sounding bc. yknow. bloodstone and isaac are vampire themed. id want it to be very thematically sound even if it wouldnt be used as much as some of the others, bc shes a very theatrical character! maybe "ambrosia" bc of her goals of immortality. itd also be really funny to just call her shiela though, since she is "australian"

alexandrite can just go by alex / alexandra, except i think the russian version of it is aleksandra? and shes "russian", so maybe itd be cute to have her spell it aleksandra

kyanite wouldnt have to worry about a name bc she already looks fucking weird enough on her own, same with corvid. dragons breath opal is already mostly just called "opal" anyway

rhodizite, they have a stage name, they are rocky rhod. serpentine and obsidian also probably have stage names but i dont know yet. maybe they can also be ice cream flavours or other desserts that reference their actual rocks

ruby and jasper are already human names. pyrite doesnt even bother with a human form (he is never shown wit it ever, he will remain the shlubby little critter forever) so he also wouldnt bother with a name, except for how the humans who discuss the rumours of him in hushed rumours know him only as "fool's gold"

the tourmalines would still just call themselves the names the nicknames they use back home: cherry banana and kiwi. maybe banana goes only by "nana"

and finally, 2ircon goes by bunny, which is the nickname isaac gave her bc he felt bad calling her numbers

#ask #regemption #i think those are all the characters that spend a significant amount of time on the surface

[selfundiagnosed]

Its not funny or quirky youre taking ALL of the weight on your shoulders and offloading the entirety of it onto the shoulders of whoever is closest to you. whether they want to deal with it or not. When you do that you make other peoples lives harder. You can convince yourself its an unmovable part of who you are but thats just not true and you know deep down youre just flinching. you cant sit here and tell me youre stagnant and it cannot be changed. I 1000% believe you believe that and cant see a future that isnt what youve only known your entire life but i promise i swear on my life to you kill me if i am wrong it seems like hard work because youve psyched yourself into believing it is. It isnt. Its so easy. Its as easy as trying to get the end result, and the middle steps dont matter. No one is looking over your shoulder to make sure you do it the right way. No one. Not a single person. Take the easy way out if you must as long as no one else will have to deal with it its fiiine whatever you do to get from a-z is fucking fine, even if its out of order or a weird pattern that only makes sense to you. Nothing is going to happen to you. The most that will happen is someone will say next time do it like this instead. And you dont have to take that criticism personally bc u literally didnt know it before…. Youre not a mind reader and youre going to make mistakes. Thats a them mistake, not a you mistake. If theres a detrimental middle step that has to be done in a specific way when someone asks you to do something but they never mention that integral part and get mad at you guess what thats not your fault thats their fault for not telling you. like making mistakes is not a big deal. Idk if its the all or nothing mentality young people have towards mistakes and wrongdoings but its not… the end of the world to do something wrong. You cant help what other people dont tell you.. if they take it out on you just be straight up and say “sorry you didnt mention it” and if theyre still mad its a them problem not a you problem. Water off a ducks back. Ignore it. Shit its not like they can do anything to you about it…? they cant ground you. they cant put you in jail. They cant legally assault you. They cant do anything like the most that would happen is someone saying you cant do that thing anymore. I hope that helps some of you psyching yourself out into thinking you cant do something unless you have the exact specific steps spelled out to you. I ultimately feel like it comes from a deathly fear of rejection and mistakes.

[pinkpruneclodwolf]

Me (raynon) and who i dubbed thee avalon le faenon and morganon (if you two are seperate that is) making out in front of your weeping form frfr BUT RAAAAAAAAAAGH YOU BITCHES GET IT

Also i bring on the table Castoria! Yuu!!! My girl who is like a onion many layers! but with each peeling you see a side you'd never think to see!! LIKE EUGHHH CASTORIA MY LOVESSSSS Did you guys know that her cheerful genki girl was all an act? That she acts like that bc people are less to kill her even if they cinstantly hit and scorn her if she constantly smiles and dissociates? Agreeing to the role she is meant to play only because she never had a choice on that matter?? MY GIRL WHO IS A WALKING PARANOID RACCOON INCARNATE!!!

Girl who WANTS FRIENDS SO BAD but doesnt let herself hope bc time and time again she is proven that people will only dissapoint and THEY WILL LEAVE HER AND THROW HER AWAY LIKE GARBAGE!!! CASTORIA WHO HAS SO MUCH RAGE OVER HER FATE LAMENTS OVER IT BC IT SUCKS HARD AND SHE WANTS TO LIVE but also BC she cares so much and had never wanted saber to take up the sword in the first place!!! BC SHE KNOWS SHE CANT SAVE BRITAIN BUT AT LEAST GOD THERE HAD TO AT LEAST BE A PERSON SHE CAN SAVE RIGHT???

ANYWAYS MY POINT IS: Yuu like that(tm). Yuu who is amiable. Yuu who is happy-go-lucky, Yuu who doesnt belong in NRC, but also Yuu who has no choice over being forced as prefect!! Yuu who smiles because this is the only way people will ever want them in this fucking place, yes there's no threat of death but how is this any different from fairy britain??!! Yuu who carries many deep grudges but cant spit them out bc they dont have that luxury!! Yuu who ran away from their fate in hope of being able to escape that hell only to find themselves in a smaller one! Yuu who has to come back nonethless to die and become the sword!!!!!

CASTORIA! YUU WHO HAD NO SPRING NOR SUMMER MEMORIES "but looking perhaps you people were my distant schoolday memories....!" HAHA KMSSSSSS SCHOOLDAY MEMORIES ISNT EVEN REAL ITS A FICTIONAL SET OF MEMORIES OKAY TIME TO KERMIT

No because considering a world where Castoria wasn't even afforded the courtesy of Spring or Summer memories—the entire reason as to why she was able to endure the Winter as Morgan because she hoped she would see the end of suffering and plight—and then bending it into Yuu—who has no place, who must always be seen as a mediator lest they be discarded and their title as Prefect stripped from them fucks me up so baddd.

The paranoia of keeping up an act because that's the only way you're palatable to others, harboring a deep decaying hatred and hurt for enduring things you shouldn't have had to for the sake of sparing someone else's feelings.

Forsaking your destiny because there was no way to save a land that wanted to rot in a void, their is no honor and being one of the many lambs sacrificed at the altar only a shallow grave to be dug. And yet, by God, does the need to save at least one person to know what it's like to have a true friend, to taste the bitterness of something that has been dangled out of your reach like fruit on a high branch and found on the ground partially eaten by ants who know naught of friendship or love of Spring and Summer.

Fall begets Winter, and the seasons will change always and that has always spelled a foreboding tale for Castoria!Yuu

#twst #fgo x twst #scream into the void and i'll answer #FREE DAWG YALL

[aprillikesthings]

YAY I'M OFF WORK until Monday

IT'S TIME FOR MORE SHE-RA REWATCH

s2 ep6 Light Spinner

just read the synopsis on the wikipedia episode list and Oof this one is going to be hard

Edit: oof I jumped around a lot, including mentions of the bible, my fave art, other cartoons and (predictably, for an episode about Shadow Weaver) my own history as a child abuse survivor and my dad dying. So, uh, you've been warned?

okay

let's do this

do they mention why she covers her face at this point? I forget

okay so true story and totally off topic but I get distracted every time Micah's name is mentioned because my favorite verse of the Bible is from the book of Micah. It's the fave verse of a lot of people lol I'm not unique. But yeah, Micah 6:8:

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord ask of you, But to do justice, and to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?

I've half-joked for years now that if enough of your childhood report cards say any variation on "They have so much potential if they'd only apply themselves" you should get diagnosed with ADHD without further questions.

Hordak: why is Shadow Weaver still fucking HERE Catra: bc I like getting a chance to taunt her >:3 I MEAN, uh, she's a good source of information? Hordak: she needs to get to Beast Island, I don't like having her around she knows too damn much Catra: but she can't actually do anything without her fancy-ass magic rock

*power goes out*

Entrapta: ha ha WHOOPSIE Catra: wtf are you DOING

Hordak: stop bothering my girlfriend Catra: wtf??? Entrapta: Entrapta: uhhhhh did I interrupt something Hordak: no it's fine bb don't worry about it <3 Hordak: ANYWAY Catra get that witch to tell you shit and then GET RID OF HER or I'LL GET RID OF YOU Catra: >:(

In all seriousness I remember watching this episode and thinking: lol omg are they ship-baiting this???

And then the usual culprits did the "yOu cAnT sHiP tHaT" and I started reblogging content of it out of sheer fucking spite. Also at least one writer for the show is like "y'all Entrapta is in her late 20's/early 30's" and--wait hold on I know there's screenshots from twitter of the same person:

But yeah stuff in later seasons made me cackle with laughter because it's not even subtle. At all.

Anyway you gotta be careful about spite-shipping. That's how I ended up having a lot of feelings about Jaspis from SU, ha ha WHOOPS

jfc this and a previous line (talking about "gifted students") and it's like...why are y'all having her quote all the shit my teachers said trying to encourage me and only traumatizing me.

mmmm don't like that

I know I keep harping on how textbook of an abuser she is, but I love that the clues were there already. This is the kind of shit abusers do! Look at how controlling and possessive she is, but in a way that outsiders will just see as "she's a very invested/involved teacher."

gahhhhhh

plot plot plot the Horde is already invading, the Princesses are useless against them, our leaders aren't doing SHIT, anyway the sorcerers are meeting tomorrow and I hope they let me boss them around into agreeing with me

this shot of the moons over Etheria reminds me of one of my fave artists--these pieces are layered resin, and I keep meaning to buy some prints of theirs. (One day I want to own an original. ;_; I love the way they use colors and the layers and just the daydreamy vibes of so much of their work.)

(More of their stuff here)

plot plot Scorpia and Catra talk about how Catra doesn't want to send Shadow Weaver to Beast Island and Scorpia is surprised Beast Island is real and not a scary story they tell kids

Catra: but but but Shadow Weaver can tell us shit!

Scorpia: anyway I thought you hated her??? Catra: you wouldn't understand >:(

I understand. I hate that I understand it. UGH.

plot plot Light Spinner tries to convince the sorcerers that the Horde is a threat, and points out they've taken the Black Garnet, and says let's cast a big spell together and GET SOME POWERRRR

Sorcerer dude: that spell is FUCKED, absolutely not [for real the way he talks about it sounds kiiiinda like The One Ring] Light Spinner: fuck yOU

OH so I didn't quote it but Catra says the same line earlier, about Hordak: "After everything I've done he still doesn't trust me"

Catra is trying to save Shadow Weaver's life and Shadow Weaver is like...meh. But hey can you bring me an old trinket that's of sentimental value? I will never ask you to do anything else.

[I am Suspicious.]

back in time, Light Spinner manipulates Micah into doing the Big Scary Spell with her, they accidentally unleash a hORRIFYING MONSTER

(I'm suddenly reminded of the last two episodes of Gravity Falls. It never ceases to amuse me that Alex Hirsch was told he couldn't do all kinds of totally innocent things, but he could have, well, the shit in the last two episodes. I remember telling my then-boyfriend that the intro of those last episodes had shots that looks like actual nightmares I've had)

Oh also the flailing disembodied hands remind me of some of the early episodes about the Cluster in Steven Universe. Remember Garnet finding some of the early fusion experiments made with broken bits of gems?

Aaugh.

(Also remember when Peridot was still kinda spooky and scary?)

OKAY SORRy wow I'm distracted tonight.

yeah that didn't work so great

And that's what messed up Shadow Weaver's face, and she throws a fit at everyone and calls them "weak" and uhhh murders at least one of them?

face-touching! the only way she's able to show any affection at all...but only ever to manipulate people in her charge. anyway she disappears after that.

Catra is not going to get a satisfying answer. One of the reasons it was a relief when my dad died was that I could let go of ever having any hope of him explaining to any kind of satisfaction why he did what he did. (He did apologize, once; in the most manipulative and self-serving way possible, when I was 35--at the time I thought maybe it meant something, but eventually I realized he'd actually made things worse, because he'd taken away any belief I might've clung to that he didn't know any better at the time.)

In any case, Shadow Weaver's answer is basically "You're just like me, and my life was hard, so why should yours be easy?" Like that old line about how people who suffer through hard things have one of two reactions: Either "why shouldn't you also suffer, you're not better than me," and "nobody should have to suffer like I did."

;_;

I understand Catra so much. You still want that love. You can't not. You know you won't get it, not the way you need it, and you settle for a facsimile.

I'm gonna throw myself into the sun

And then we go back in time to see the arrival of baby!Adora, like as an actual infant. They don't say where she got her.

Hordak: "I arrived too late. I found something but it's useless. Put it with the other infants in the infirmary."

"It." bleh.

Shadow Weaver: hmmm that's one powerful baby. Hordak: ugh, weirdo. You can have it. But ffs it's being noisy take it somewhere else.

Shadow Weaver's just like: oh sweet I get to start from scratch with this one.

Anyway under her tray of food that Catra brought her was her sorcerer's guild...thing. That she asked for earlier in the episode. Which means Catra did bring it to her.

And Shadow Weaver's gone.

This explains part of why Catra gets worse for the next like two seasons. She tried to extend a kindness to Shadow Weaver--keeping her from being sent to Beast Island, giving her the trinket thing, offering to work together since Shadow Weaver thinks they have so much in common, right? But it bites her in the ass so bad.

So why should she be kind to anyone? When has anyone been kind to her? When has Catra being kind to anyone ever improved her life or made it easier?

But yeah the trinket had some kinda magic dust in it and Shadow Weaver escaped, and Catra had a (very understandable) meltdown about it.

Back in Bright Moon, the Best Friends Squad is using the moon alignment to get a clearer signal on Bow's track pad: "Serenia. Portal. Mara." AAAAND end of episode.

Yeah I was right. That was a rough one.

#april rewatches spop #light spinner

[sunmoonjune]

i conked right back out after reading that first answered ask LMAO ive literally been sleeping 12+ hours a day bc i ended up taking sick leave from work and i also got my period so my body's really just been like hmm what other doozy can i give her but now i'm actually awake and my brain juices are kinda flowing so ive been doing some hard thonking about your comments. this is literally unedited word vomit none of my theories make sense but oh well HAHA

YOU'RE TELLING ME WE HAVEN'T EVEN HIT THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG YET???? brb getting my straw so i can drink up the ocean and reveal the iceberg

went back to dig around your past asks and you said a lot of the reason why the villagers hate her is bc of her father and the incident happens around 9-10yo that changes everything sO idk im gonna take some shots in the dark dont laugh at me ,,,,,, so men are usually the only ones meant to train to become a warrior and enter the trials,,,,,,, and ofc as bug's father is the chief of the village he's going to want a son to take over but then he gets two daughters ?? bc you did also hint gender plays a big part of her backstory so im thinking is this one of the underlying reasons in the first place why bug and soojin always had such a rocky relationship with their father even before the incident . . ...... .has bug's mother passed? i feel like she has passed. and i feel like something happened during her death that bug's father then twisted and pinned the blame onto bug. ????? maybe that's why the memories of villagers spitting out it's her fault is so engrained in her :((( and it would make sense why she had the need to make a sign for 'dead'. IDK THERES STILL SO MANY HOLES I CANT SEEM TO THINK OF A SOLID THEORY i need some more hints ;)))))))

HMMMM sometimes soojin wasn't there?? now i'm thinking was it bc yun and bug often found themselves receiving the brunt of bug's father's anger .: they were often punished together and chucked into like a cell or sth so it was just them two sometimes. but then what did YUN do that got him on everyone's bad side too bc him getting banished was fo sho just a convenient opportunity that presented itself for bug's father to get rid of yun. HMHM speaking of ,, he was banished for conspiracy and injuring an officer. yun's not the type of person to just do that for no reason (+ im willing to bet your $11 and my 60c that the situation was twisted to make him look like the bad guy) and im thinking did bug's father say or do something that finally made him snap therefore leading to his accusation HMM

WAIT ALSO ARE THE SCARS UNDER HER MASK IN THE SHAPE OF SOMETHING OR SPELL OUT WORDS ???? bc it's been hinted again and again that there's an awful injury underneath and you have it as the cover of the to-be-published version but you cant reveal it bc it's too big of a spoiler so that leads me to think her face has been deliberately disfigured to look like sth 👀👀

waiting for the published version of ltm to drop so we can get signed copies but also asfksdjg we're gonna need a commissioned version of ltm with the atz boys to purchase instead bc can you imagine the line 'you may have cost wooyoung his yunho' as 'you may have cost kieran his brandon' HAHAHAHAHAAHA I LITRALLY CHOKED ON MY OWN SPIT sonia and her random names always have me cackling HAHA

OMG ALSO ARE WE GONNA GET YEO TEACHING BUG TO DANCE IN THE FUTURE OMGGMGGGG THATS THE LITERAL CUTEST i can already see all the boys tripping over each other and manhandling each other out of the way (with love) so that they can reach bug first and extend their hand out to ask for her first dance dsgjkagfdg noooooooooo 😭💕

also none of my friends irl stan ateez so i have no one to tell and i dont use tumblr enough to have moots apart from you (i woke up at 5am that day and saw your notif and couldnt fall back asleep bc i was literally rolling around in bed giggling) so im gonna tell you but im a relatively new atiny and this is going to be my first comeback with the boys and im literally frothing at the mouth with excitement bc the concept teasers ??? I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

hehehe I SO enjoyed your theories OMG!! Keep sending them my way I eat up all your thoughts on LTM <33

we have not indeed reached the tip of the iceberg ;) but we're close

and haha I would never laugh at you xD this was a very interesting theory about her past and I can't tell you if you're right quite yet,, but I can say: yes, chiefs want a son to take over the title of leader. and bug's father ended up with two daughters... there will be MUCH more on this in the future >:D

onto the topic of bug's mother... this is a VERY important part of the next chapter ;) I'm so glad you've brought it up,,, again I can't tell you much about her until the release of the next chapter but bug's mother does play a VERY BIG role in why certain people despise her so much

I genuinely cannot wait to see your reaction to the lore bits in the next chapter xD it won't reveal everything quite yet but it does reveal some of bug's past so I'm VERY excited,, I hope you'll come back to update your theories after you read it hehe >:D bug's past is long and kind of confusing until I string it all together at the end, but I'm hoping some of you will be able to puzzle it out hehe ;))

as for yun and Soojin,,, part of why Soojin was not with them as much will be referenced in the next chapter I think,, but it may not yet be revealed,, but you are correct in that yun and bug were often on the receiving end of her father and the village's anger :( I can't tell you why they directed it at bug but most of the hate towards yunho simply emerged because he was always trying to stop them from hurting her (this is heavily implied throughout the series so I don't think it's spoiling anything...)

and yunho's banishment.... that will be brought up again as well... perhaps not quite yet ;)

bug's scars.... yes, these are VERY important to bug's past and her entire story! that's why they're the cover of my hardcopy ;) once we reach that part of the story I'll show you the cover so you can get an understanding of what they look like. beneath her mask is extremely relevant to her past and why the village hates her so much... I can tell you that the shape of the scars are less important than what they did to her face...

hehe when the published version finally goes out there's going to be new content in it ;) extra scenes and what not that weren't included here :DD and perhaps I will send signed copies out if you guys want them enough xD

AHHAHA NO I've settled on their names for the published version and I promise there will be no Kieran or Brandon's LMAO,, names in books are SUPER important to me cause they give me a BIG ick in novels xD I cannot read a book about a guy named 'jack' or 'daniel' or something HAHA

and the dancing <33 there will be some fluff in the future about the dancing scene I promise ;)

also omg!! none of my irl besties like kpop either :( I would be happy to be on the receiving end of your rants about the comeback hehe xD I've been an atiny since pirate king and each cb has been AMAZING and I'm very excited too!! me and 🪷 anon have been yelling at each other in messages every time concept photos get leaked xD

I hope this answered some of your theories (even tho I couldn't really say much xD ) thank you for them hehe >:D I LOVE hearing your theories about bug's past because I CANNOT WAIT to reveal it xD

also! do you have a name you want to be called? I've been calling you 'eight' in my head since I saw your first messages but I haven't asked yet xD

#moonie speaks #moonie's mutuals <3 #moonie's favs <3 #like the moon #like the moon spoilers #like the moon hints hehehehe

[sillycyan]

There is so many things I want to start as hobbies and what not, but they are way too expensive to truly dive into.. SO INSTEAD IM GONNA LIST EM + go on random side rants

TLDR: Take care of ferrets, skateboard, biker, art, vtuber, open sticker shop, collect manga and figures, scriptwriter, and learn Russian.

I definitely want ferrets in the far future. There has been hours on hours of research and planning to make it happen (ᗒᗣᗕ) This is something that does have to wait a few years when I’m financially stable and sticking to things in the house.

Skateboarding.. I have a board, but it’s a very DOOKIE one so around this month I’m gonna stop by a shop for a new one. The main problem here is that I live in a city so there is really no places to skate around and I already feel judged just being outside.. Imagine me on a skateboard??? I’m dying??

Hear me out on this one.. BIKER.. I recently have been really looking into motorcycles and when I do move out of the city (x_x) I’d truly rather be on a bike then in a car for reasons I will NOT explain. Cost wise it’s pricey, will have to be long term, and 100% is being my whole personality

I have been drawing on and off for a few years but with that I can’t trust myself to turn it into something serious as I have already quick multiple times for months to years at a time. I already own a drawing tablet, you not catching me on paper, and I already have a start. With art I feel forced to start commissions because it’s already so pressured to make money off it and that ruined the fun for me.

I want to stream as a vtuber soo badd!!! I already have a model now and plan to stream on my own time, but I’d love to be in an actual agency. Ofc I probably won’t be good enough for any because IM BLACK and it’s impossible to even get into any big names with that factor without being forced under a white and/or japanese persona… but it’s worth a shot yk?? Half throwing shade at the main vtuber agencies bc holy the racism in the community alone is horrible D:

Very sadly I got all the boring hyperfixations so I weirdly wish I could start a little sticker shop (-_-) Just for very cute random sticker sheets.. I collect stickers because it’s fun even though I haven’t use them because I don’t like to decorate my items with colors. Weirdly ties into how I’m a minimalist and I should never have kids because they would be the iconic “sad beige baby” GOD FOR BID I HAVE A GIRL oh my god they will never see the color pink ever (helps the color stereotypes ig)

Reallyyy REALLY want to collect manga. There are a few series I really just want to own and read SO IMA LISTEN EM HEHHE.. Banana Fish (own 1-9), Goodnight PunPun, Vagabond, A Girl on the Shore, Blood on the Tracks, Doomsday With My Dog, Chainsaw Man, Dandadan, Doubt, A Man and His Cat, and other names I’m not abt to remember..

Along with collecting manga I would love to collect figures, just a good few anime and game ones. Then just a whole bunch of Miku, but I’m stopping the blue aesthetic for my area and changing it to GREEN.. Really want the Banana Fish and Little Nightmares figured soo badd!!!!3!:?:!(:&36:

I cant drop too many details but.. scriptwriter.. I just think I could sit down and do that. NOT DROPPING SPECIFICS BC ITS EMBARRASSING SOO NEXTTT

Not sure if I can count this here, but I really want to talk time to learn Russian..? Show I’m fixated on and have been for years is in Russian and holy it made me wanna learn so baddd RAAAHHHHH

Just dropped 10 because no one is reading allat NOT EVEN I.. so if yew did read everything then helloo :))) I’m not gonna reread through nothing so sorry if it had bad spelling or grammar.. Rants don’t got time for allat

time to add a bunch of tags in relation to EVERYTHING update: not doin allat

#random rants #hyperfixation #I just wanna start hobbies man.. #ermmm awkward #hobbies #raaahhh #cyanrants #CyYapOfTheCentury

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

for the ask game, skrael because i cant help but pick favorites

bc you didn't specify what questions, I'm Going To Do All Of Them

(except for the ones i already did lol)

1. a fun headcanon

so i'm not sure if this is fun, persay (skrael had fun, douxie was experiencing psychological warfare) but when the order'd find out where he and nari were he'd leave dead things on their doorstep, frozen solid

it was mostly pigeons that got hit by taxis, and nari always reanimated them anyways- with the fun bonus of creeping douxie the fuck out

bellroc: ......why are you putting that dead bird in your pocket?

skrael:

2. a sad headcanon

when bellroc was healing after kilahead he didn't leave their side for a moment he feels so guilty he didn't stop them from going in

3. a headcanon that canon doesn't disprove

he isn't bald he isn't bald he isn't fUCKING BALD

4. a headcanon to spite canon, specifically

he never calls merlin merlin, instead he calls him his og name that he first knew him by: Myrddin

5. a headcanon that's all but canon, and that's a hill I will die on

skrael is absolutely the voice of reason in the order- he's measured where nari and bellroc are absolutely feral (though he does have his moments😅)

7. a pre-canon headcanon

the order apprenticed merlin, when he was a young man (that's how he got the sealsssss😳)

8. a post-canon headcanon

he gets introduced to nail polish and his natural nails never see the light of day again

9. a missing scene that definitely happened

when he and nari had a nice long talk and hugged instead of horribly murdering each other :)

11. something [other character] believes about them that isn't true

tbh most think he wouldn't have a problem killing a small kid but he wouldn't do it unless absolutely necessary-

teenagers are a different story, if they manage to become his enemy he treats them just as he would an adult- murder and all

12. something they believe about [other character] that isn't true

that she hates them now

14. their worst memory

during killhead, just after bellroc fell- hearing their scream...

15. a secret

he's not very open about it, but like bellroc, he collects remnants of the past, there's a reason he was the first one to come up with a preservation spell

that and so they don't have to make new clothes constantly bc can you fucking imagine

16. favorite canon relationship

i guess i'll go with the Literal Only Person he interacted with more than once

he and bells <3

17. favorite fanon relationship

if canon won't give me content i'll make it so i guess that makes it fanon lol✊

him and nari bcs they had what? one conversation?

also him and the green knight (he's his poorly reanimated sON)

18. favorite should have been canon relationship

look. i just want more content on him being a little bitch to merlin (i'm actually writing smth with this, let's see if it ever sees the light of day)

19. [blank] / dealer's choice

he's got a bunch of little snacks (dried fruits/meats) in his scrying rooms bc once he goes in there it might be days until he leaves again

#ask #kiwifae says shit #skrael #skrael of the north wind #toa wizards #going loose w the definition of relationship here

[wulvert]

IM VERY LATE BUT TRIPTRACK!! did terry only get. created? after the divorce or does toad just. forget he has a 2nd child. very in character 4 him if so. i want 2 explode him with my mind

ALSO UR CREATURES,,,TELL US MORE ABOUT THM,,,i lov red n tex nd i project my arospecness onto them bc their "friends but also not JUST friends but also-" is so real 2 me,,,howevr,,,do u have any untold info in ur brain u can give us abt the rest of ur lesser seen beasts like shae nd tara nd mouse n mits nd...toad...i GUESS. . i absorbed all the terry lore into my brain from the other person's ask and im so hungry 4 more info,,,

u can also give any silly paperteeth lore here too if its in ur brain!! i want 2 devour all ur characters (even toad,,,he is so well-written 2 make me hate his guts) they r so goofy (/pos!!) i need 2 rotate every single one of them in my thoughts,,,

im back with clingfilm on my head i hope i can finally just. have my normal hair again im too lazy to keep dying it anyway! yeah so toad didnt have anything to do with terry, he sucks but he would def remember terry for. reasons.

yea i think a qpr is probs the best definition for what they have!

i hate how i handled shae- triptrack is something i cannot look at for more than five seconds without going i need to rip this apart and put it back together again- shae is like. H. shes kind of just obsessed with being peak performance like best form out of the entire sentient population- but like tex is a fairly indestructable robot and yeah. shaes also autohemophobic is that a word i think its a word. ( NO T HOMOPHOBIC SHE'S AN ALLY and her pronouns r she/they yeah like shae im yeah. and shes named after shea butter but i forgot how to spell shea. which. im pretty dumb im not going to lie to you. i think theyre the only character in triptrack that im set on that for bc. it sounds like shae. and i think thats art. nothing happened to her they just like decided to become a cyborg to like beat everyone else

also webtoon nerfed her boobs i cant beleive this world is so cruel

anwyay

mouse and mits ive decided r gay since my last post and in love and now sell homemade furry ish masks together

tara needs more screentime bc just like. girlboss this isnt what ur husband meant when he said he wanted kids. but like. girlboss....

i think most of the stuff abt toad and tara is spoilers rn but knowing me i'll fail to explain it on every level so like . ill probs post about it eventually.

papertee th i keep forgetting 2 add and i think i forgot to mention the seeing in the dark on the otherposts i made - avery needs reading glasses but since vampires can see better in the dark, she doesnt need them if she's reading in the dark- but to her the ambience of reading in the dark is awful so she refuses. she also refuses to wear her reading glasses if anyones watching but she obviously needs them because shes holding the book 10 miles away from her face (longsighted) nobody cares mundane but i want to draw her wearing glasses and i need to provide context before i do. the science of her not needing them in the dark is not there. it. vampires arent scientce though

AND THANK U UUU im glad im not the only one rotating them in the microwave

#asks

[adolin-is-best-boy]

okay ima put down a list of characters and the vague ideas i have for their powers in my au and y’all are gonna help me come up with their powers, okay?! help me please! (/nf)

also if you don’t know what the tell im talking about with classifications (ex. Bloodline, Boon, Magic Item, Melodic) don’t worry about it! it’s really just what the magic actually DOES that i can’t figure out.

but if you want to learn more, check this post on my magic system, and if you have any other questions you can ask me or check the “scattered fantasy aa au” tag :)

———

Franziska - I want her to have Bloodline magic, preferably something in the “”evil”” vein of magic, like a vampire or demon (NOT a Succubus). keep in mind that Manfred will also have a similar powerset. 

Susato - probably Spellcasting. of course she can cast all spells, but what kind of thing would she specialize in? the group already has a healer and people that can constitute a more front-liner role, but i can’t see her being exclusivley a ranged caster, since shes good at hand-to-hand combat.

Kazuma - Bloodline but also Magic Item. Karuma is gonna be a magic item ofc, but he doesnt actually have it for most of the story. I want him to have swordy magic but i cant think of what exactly he can do, and also what he can’t do without Karuma.

Clay - probably a Boon of sorts, and maybe a Magic Item too. i wanna have it be related to gravity/planets/space/science, and if he uses his intelligence he can be super powerful. 

Trucy - Gramarye Bloodline (duh) and maybe also some Melodic magic from her mother. She’s gonna be the “average” gramarye, so i gotta have it be good but also match her specifically. Bloodline magic naturally is slightly different between each person in it, but most of the things gotta be the same. Definetly want something to with the ‘focus’ ability they have and make it creepy and shit, but also other fun stuff.

Apollo - Bloodline(x2), Magic Item, Melodic. okay yeah he’s clearly my favorite character, but i dont wanna make him super powerful. i’m thinking his bracelet enhances and builds on some of his natural abilities, but completely dampens most of his others. Like, his whole thing is gonna be creepy focus ability with bleeding eyes and shit, but i dont know what it can actually DO. He has an extremely high Melodic potential bc of his parents and his crush, but he doesnt realize it (and even when he does he doesnt care that much). 

Athena - maybe Boon or Bloodline? Maybe a Magic Item too? and maybe something to do with electronics/electricity? Oh but she *is* somewhat attuned to Melodic magic bc of her hearing. Other than that i have no idea. 

Ron DeLite - no idea on classification on this one. little ideas on actual powers. the group he’s in is already has alot of extremely flashy/loud magic, but i cant decide if i want his powers to be more flashy or more quiet. Maybe he can do both? Maybe he can fuck with sound? illusions?? idk.

———

okey that’s all i got for now, but be sure that there will be more to come! if you have any ideas, even if they’re small or you think they’re stupid, i wanna hear them!! literally anything can give me ideas and it makes me very happy :)

#scattered fantasy aa au #ace attorney #the great ace attorney #franziska von karma #susato mikotoba #kazuma asougi #clay terran #trucy wright #apollo justice #athena cykes #ron delite

[ocdhuacheng]

you seem to post a lot about the grooming in csm so i was wondering if you have thoughts about how he depicts these dark topics, whether it's creepy, and also whether it's irresponsible even if it's not creepy. he is sometimes too ambiguous, especially with the incest, it's not really condemned... idk just as part of the whole consuming media critically thing

like im gonna be real i dont feel like i can say much about the incest thing itself bc again i havent read those manga but its certainly sus if what people are saying is true, and it calls into question his intentions but tbh im not really sure what to think about him. like for chainsaw man specifically. i dont fucking know. i cant read his mind obviously but there are things that he has said that seem contradictory like one one hand ive read things that sounded very earnest from him about how he wants to trust his audience to know what hes going for (which may be a reason some things can be ambiguous, not necessarily a malicious thing.) and how in creating makima he did research on abusive parents and whatnot which did make it seem to me like he does care about his messages of grooming/abuse. but some other things hes said contradicts that (too me, given an english translation, bc things are always lost in translation) like in particular his comments on how he made so many 'strong women' in chainsaw man because he was bullied by girls in highschool and he thought it was hot and wanted to be dominated by women. or whatever the fuck it was that he said idr. to me this implied that he made makima (and himeno) with the intention of being sexy and attractive to the reader, and not as vessels for commentary on pedophilia/grooming/etc. so i really dont know what to believe or if its a mix of both with him because i just dont know enough about him and its not like i would ever know unless i was able to read his mind. like i personally think that csm was /mostly/ written with good intentions but there is still quite a bit of questionable choices so like?? i dont know what else you want me to say. i dont think the questionable parts are as overt as the commentary so yeah i acknowledge that there are probably some ulterior motives but the rest of it is done with enough respect imo that im able to still enjoy what he has to say. like there are weird stuff: how can you have a commentary on the exploitation of children with makima and denji, but at the same time have reze and asa running around basically naked? idfk. it makes no sense, but i think that part just comes from misogyny. (also i do admit i think that the himeno thing specifically seemed very. something to be laughed at instead of criticized. though id have to reread bc i dont remember the details) but anyway people can have good takes one one topic but have just entirely awful takes on another like its not like people are completely good or bad/right or wrong. thats a ridiculous thing to say. obligatory obviously not excusing it but i feel like i have to spell that out. like just because someone says something awful about one thing doesnt necessarily invalidate what they say on something else.

and assuming that csm was written entirely with good intentions and nothing creepy at all : you cant write things like this and please everyone. theres always going to be parts that people dont like, both for legitimate personal reasons and just because of misinterpretation. like i dont think its a bad thing for things to be subtle and ambiguous and not in your face i think its a good thing to have faith in your readers to figure things out themselves and not have everything spelled out for them but that always runs the risk of people misinterpreting things, which at worse you can have a lolita situation (disclaimer -> has personally never read lolita) where people use the book as a fetishization of pedophilia instead of a condemnation. obviously this is bad and dangerous but to say its irresponsible is idk. like i think thats a very subjective thing. is it irresponsible to attempt to comment dark topics and trust that your audience knows what youre going for? i personally do not think so? is it your fault if the audience doesnt understand what youre going for? maybe if literally everyone/the vast majority of them misunderstands you then that might be a you problem and yeah you might want to reflect on how you wrote something, even if you meant well. but i think with topics like this there are always going to be people who take your words in ways you dont want to and thats not something you can control unless you want to spell everything out for them letter by letter, which makes for. uh. terrible writing. lmfao. its infantilizing to the audience to think that they cant figure things out themselves and that you need to be responsible for every single goddamn person who reads your story. and you shouldnt just NOT write dark things (respectfully) because people might misinterpret you or because it might upset people. so no. if given that it was written with good, not-creepy intentions i do not think chainsaw man is something irresponsible, even if there is a chunk of people who take it at face value. and even if it does have some creepy intentions, i personally think enough of it has merit to make it worth something.

anyway tl;dr:

thoughts about how he depicts these dark topics: compelling but not perfect. plus i dont think you can be "perfect" in portraying anything because its all subjective and everyone has different comfort levels

whether it's creepy: cant say what his intentions are for sure obvi but in my interpretation i dont think he wrote this with mainly creepy fanservicey intentions (well perhaps some, considering all the naked girls, and the thing about the bullying being hot, and whatever, but i dont think those would be the main goal of csm), even if he made a few questionable to downright weird choices, both in chainsaw man and in other manga.

whether it's irresponsible even if it's not creepy: personally, no.

he is sometimes too ambiguous, especially with the incest: cant comment on the incest (inclined to believe that yeah it probably was too ambigious at best and positive at worst in that case tho. just from what ive heard) but for other things sure maybe sometimes he can be ambiguous but i dont think its necessarily malicious, and more just that he doesnt want to be in-your-face about explaining things

anyway this isnt an anti or pro fujimoto post . i can literally only talk from what i personally got out of the manga and what little things ive read from interviews. so yeah. thanks for the interrogation

#if this is coherent at all #.txt #csm #asks #anonymous #incest mention #grooming mention #clarification because I feel like this kind of reads as a softening on the answer to the previous ask: #I still think the incest thing is gross and I don’t trust like that but it doesn’t really affect my reading of csm specifically tooooo much #if that makes sense

[cats-thoughts]

procrastination

alrighty while i wait for something else to distract me, anyone who stumbles across this must hear about minecraft and my best friend. suffer >:] anyways my pfp is me n my best friend the Frogord. we r opposite vibes. also they r annoyed by sounds and i am annoyed by sounds that arent me but i also vocal stim so we suffer when we r together but its FINE apparently i give them energy or smthn its wild. he is very cool tho love him lots. anyways we play Minecraft together when we can except i have no time and their computer is baaad sucks 2 be him lol. but we try. anyways we play a modded server now is lots of fun, i made a big yellow tower bc its my favorite color and they're making an edgy mansion right next door, and i call my house the lemon tower and they call it the piss tower >:[ and i realized i did not have any space in my tower so I'm building a huge base under it, like with rooms stacked on top of each other, and all of them are pride flag colored. this is bc my chest room ended up being pan colors on accident i just was like. yellow walls! blue is a good color, floor :] oh hey pink would be a nice way to finish the room! oh this is just the pan flag okay. anyways the next room is the ace flag it's my smelting room. my next one's gonna be nonbinary it'll be my villagers. but i cant work on it bc SCHOOL. which i should work on. anyways we play characters too and by that we pretend like we do bc no one else cares about storylining LMAO im an enderdragon person thingy and he is a shapeshifter. except we are also actually ancient people tied to gems after this whole ordeal with something or another i don't actually know i don't focus on that my character has amnesia and only really remembers their current life. they r very old tho like a few hundred thousand years at least. i found out how to turn netherack into netherite too using a mod bc im just that good. we have no storage space im a grade a hoarder in mc i never get rid of anything. i haven't moved anything but valuables into my house hhsghjs im working on killing the dragon 20 times so i can prevent anyone from ever respawning it again it's a long story im gonna build something in one of the towers. it brings the dragon egg back when you kill the dragon I've got like 12. i don't want anyone else to get one cause then they can have a pet dragon and im being evil and gatekeeping that. if they get one i may or may not be forced to kill it because im evil like that. side note i don't like being evil but i also get way too committed to the bit and the idea of someone else having a pet dragon makes acid rise in my bones for some reason i guess im just an asshole or something i genuinely do not know why??? anyways so much love for froglord they let me talk about my wet cats (lifesteal) and i also got them addicted to mcyt by showing him technoblade's potato wars it was so funny. he is now in love /p with charlie slimecicle. i did this. oh and ivory too he loves /p ivory. i was actually with them when the techno news dropped they tried v hard to comfort me i appreciate it. anyways that's the post haha sorry for the terrible everything i don't want to punctuate properly. or spell. that's for losers. sidenote i wrote this in like 5 minutes why am i so fast at typing no i want to procrastinate more pls there is not much more i can ramble about hhhhh i don't wanna do history claaaaassss it suuuuucks

#chatwithcat

[loveyougoodbi]

Something has been pissing me off lately and at first I thought I wouldn't comment on it because I stay away from drama but I talked about it with a friend recently and I realized we both felt great saying it. So. Here are my thoughts and feelings as of late about Mr Harry Styles(tm).

This is mostly copied from our texts so don't mind the spelling errors and other... grammatical inconsistencies

I can't look at Harry on stage anymore. It doesn't feel authentic this time around. Listening to him Giving girls advice about boys knowing that those girls are het fans and knowing that they've paid 2 of my salaries to get that close to the stage to be able to talk to him gives me an icky feeling and I don't want to see it. I think this is mostly bc of the way he got this famous. It was the ws music video and the ws agenda that got him there and I know that all those people and full stadiums are either there bc they think they can have an orgy with him or to be able to post a tiktok about being at a harry show (influences go just bc its cool). It's just disgusting to me. I cant be happy about something that dehumanized him and made him a not likeable person. When I know its not the truth.

So yeah I hate that he's famous I hope he has a real taylor swift after 1989 everyone hates him moment so that only the real actual fans remain. I don't even feel guilty for saying that.

And im sorry tumblr i know youre looking at it with rose colored glasses but there is a point where artists are so famous that the LGBT nods in their music videos (especially small ones like LNT) are more a performance than they are a statement. At the point where he is and how straight literally everyone sees him when they see him with a men they don't think omg ew gay they think omg he's so comfortable in being straight that he can even pretend to be on a date with a man omg king. Again, fucking disgusting.

And don't even get me started on. The fact that he doesn't even know p from promo anymore. He gets views and everything just by existing and by insinuating to possible orgies so he hasn't appeared on one single talk show. Hasn't done one single performance. Harry doesn't exist. He doesn't have a personality. He's just a name at this point.

Yes, I'm talking about the orgy discourse on d*ux lately that is so obviously promo. The posts even link to the video 🤢

The worst part is, he deffinitely has a say now. Maybe he didn't when ws was getting promoted cos that was about getting him out there but now we're way past that. He's up there. He's even higher than up there I don't think there's higher than this. So I'd like to think that people who are this famous can have a say when it comes to stuff like that. You're telling me that if harry said NO right now to something he would have consequences? At the level he is now? Impossible. Look at what taylor is doing. She's rerecording all her albums for fucks sake. Bc every single impossible situation is solvable when you have the people on your side. Harry either doesn't realize that yet or he likes it this way. And he's not stupid so....... I think its obvious which one it is..

I think he likes the fame. I think he would like the recognition of another grammy and I think he knows that the only way to get that is to be extremely famous and talked about. And he saw how successful the ws thing was so he's playing it safe. I think he's looking at this from a business perspective more than anything. If there's one thing I've learned about harry is that he's a businessman. This pleasing thing as well. It's insanely expensive. Like... crazy expensive. But it's a bussines. Rihanna made 80% of her fortune from her cosmetic line so harry saw that as a good business decision and did it. I think that's the only reason. I think harry is happy with his private life and has things and people that make him happy there so he treats his job as a job and does everything it requires. In a way that's a good thing and I'm happy for him. I just wish he was more.. genuine in his job as well. But then again if someone told me hey be more yourself when you're at work and don't think about money when working I would slit their throat so theres that....

#my thoughts #i judt want to save this for future reference bc i want all my thoughts in one place #that and i think some of my friends here would maybe find it reassuring #like me and my friend this when we first talked about it #please dont send any hate it won't be tolerated and you will get blocked

[nightmmares]

.

#i feel like my life is constant punishment but i really don't know what i did #i am not the friend you wait up till midnight to say happy birthday to #i am not the friend that gets an instagram post dedicated to them #i am not the friend you invite out #i have spent so much of my life just wanting what i feel for other people to be reciprocated #by family by friends by anyone #anyways this year some people actually did go out of their way for me #they planned an elaborate surprise #they wanted me to be happy #and i can't express how much it meant to me to be on the other side of it for once #to not have to spell out something i want bc the other person cant be bothered to know me #because i am not worth knowing #so i got to have a treasured memory #and the universe said whoops thats wrong #so my grandmother went to the hospital on my birthday and hasnt been home since #she had to have open heart surgery #so i got covid somehow after almost 3 fucking years #so i couldnt see my family for my birthday or easter #i am extremely terrified of being forgotten #like thats one of my deepest fears #and i think #its bc its inevitable #my own parents cant even be bothered to know me #cant come up with a gift or a sentiment or something that i would like even if pressed #if i dont have a favorite color or a hobby or an interest or SOMETHING to other people that makes them think of me #do i even exist?

[lolawassad]

Okay so im not motivated to work on my wips so have something else!

In my last part i mentioned draco giving harry the lightning scar bc well tom isnt mr no nose here you have it :)

This takes place a week before pansy and reader first speak

Tw : break up, violence, kinda dark?? Sort of

"y/n, end of discussion" "fine, end of relationship"

Y/n x harry potter, poly slytherin gang

3rd pov

You are walking with your boyfriend through the halls when he runs into cho, they both smile awkwardly at eachother and cho starts subtly flirting with him

At the other side of the hall is pansy and her boyfriend draco "see the scumbag doesnt deserve her, shes so nice dray" pansy coos about her crush, draco scoffs "so he just lets whats her name flirt with him while he has a perfectly gorgeous girl already? Pathetic"

Blaise walks over and throws his arm around pansy before kissing her temple "calm down babes, whats up?" he asks her when he sees her glare somewhere

"fucking pottah" draco spits making blaise roll his eyes "we get it you dont li-" "shut up, he has a beautiful girl but he still lets whats her face flirt with him, in front of his girl" draco interups blaise, blaise scoffs "that dickhead"

You start tugging on harry's arm, uncomfortable that hes flirting with the girl who also kissed your ex while he was with you "can we go haz? Please" you beg but he brushes you off "if you wanna leave you can go, im talking to cho cant you see that" he spits making you take a step back

Cho does look kinda pitying towards you but still keeps flirting with your boyfriend "look just go okay? Y/n End of discussion" he says

You scoff "fine, end of relationship" you say with venom before throwing his jacket at him and walking off

Mattheo who had just approached his partners lets out a loud "oooh" after hearing the y/h/c girl say that

You finally reach your dorm and let yourself fall down on your bed, tears streaming down your face before you quickly wipe them, you get up again and put everything thats harry's in a box before storming back to where harry last was

When you approach the hallway its fully empty except for harry and a group of slytherins, you recognize them as the slytherin gang

Malfoy sneers at harry "so what you just crush peoples hearts for fun? Im a terrible person but atleast i would never do that"

"oh yeah well at least im not a disappointment to my whole family" harry sneers

"oh shut up, you're always trying to steal my uncles" draco spits "also my uncles fucking adore me and are so proud of me, so you are just talking shit"

Harry gasps "listen draco, they are my uncles too, you and i are cousins, i dont know why you are always being a little bitch" he says that last part with a laugh "also why do you care? So what i was dating someone out of pity, have you seen her? Nobody wants her" harry yells out making your heart hurt even more

"dont talk about her like that, y/n is fucking gorgeous, she was way too good for you" pansy spits out making your heart warm that shes defending you

"yeah well you look like a fucking pug and are a whore" harry retorts, draco glares before he takes out his wand and starts throwing hexes at harry

Harry starts whining about how its unfair even though its just him and draco fighting, draco yells out a spell you have never heard before and harry falls to the ground, his hand on his head "what the fuck" he yells out

Draco spits "there now your gonna be reminded of this moment everytime you look in the mirror"

Tom puts his hand on draco's shoulder before he nods at you, the rest of the group hasnt noticed you yet, you just put the box down and quickly run off

Mattheo turns to draco "was that girl a friend of pansy's?" he asks referring to harry's ex, draco just pretends he doesnt know not wanting to force pansy to talk about her complicated feelings for the hufflepuff girl

A week later

Pansy smiles as she puts a silencing spell on the door to y/n's dorm and a spell that will blast a alarm ten minutes after class has started assuring that she will be late, when pansy goes to class she makes her boyfriends sit else where

Draco smirks knowing that she is finally ready to make a move, pansy feels kind of bad for making y/n late but she didnt know what else to do, she thinks back to how mattheo hexed her dorm so she would have to sit next to him and he could get to know her better

This will be worth it for the end goal

#x reader #x y/n #harry potter x reader #slytherin gang x reader #draco x reader #theo nott x reader #lorenzo x reader #blaise zabini x reader #pansy parkinson x reader #tom riddle x reader #mattheo riddle x reader #draco malfoy x reader