#tried to pull most of them

[moeblob]

So does he, Gallagher.

#honkai star rail #hsr blade #gallagher #i based this off of how many times i used funny soda man to help be a healer with his poppin soda pop in SU #and then blade constantly just being blade as usual #its normally him saying unnecessary to my actual healer but #i kept forgetting gallagher heals and i kept healing when i didnt even need to so TECHNICALLY yeah it was unnecessary #but the amount of times blade was the recipient...... #i cant use like most of my newer units in story bc i cant ascend or i run out of leveling mats so i just #get them and toss them into simulated universe for funsies cause i can match their levels better #so thats where i tossed gallagher and he is genuinely fun to play as ? like i love his punches and kicks to start the battle #funny soda man is funny (to me) and im really behind in plot still #but last time i tried to play it on my laptop and got a kickass cutscene my laptop lagged and i couldnt even see it RIP to me #so now that its like ... me trying to play it on desktop ? #i mostly get on desktop for comms and if i do much else i feel like im slacking off even if i would take a break anyway #one day i can play more story plot stuff and actually meet the funny guys #also in case you know me for Not Having Boys in HSR i need to point out #i did pull Gallagher however same 10 pull got a 4 star girl copy for someone i never use and she is at e4 now cool #and i didnt even think of the irony as i started this i just like drawing blade and i wanted to draw gallagher #so when i already had the dialogue planned and am drawing i was like OH WAIT haha im funnier than i thought #(no i am not but we can pretend)

[causewealwayshaveeachother]

wip challenge ask game

ty for tagging me rio @wr0temyway0ut !!

rules: “Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of  how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the  title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or  tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have  wips. I have deemed  that this isn’t just for writing either. Sketch titles? Comics? DND  campaigns? If you have an unfinished project, it counts!!”

gonna go ahead and toss in two non jatp ones for kicks cause ive got a few of those in my little notebook of 'writing analogue doesnt exacerbate your wrist injury as much'

also a couple of these i just decided to put multiple fics in one doc for. fun. :)

GleeOmens

Sound of Stars Alice/Ellie

fractal sunset melt

a classic "where are they now?"

alex crying on reggie - plenty of space to encase

bob gadling au

but then i pass (the last place i saw you alive)

emily said - jatp fixit fic

friend date

hangs at the skatepark, hangs at the beach // busker fic // more of willie's touch issues

i take a picture of your dress - reggie has some genders in this one

Sunset Curve And Julie And The Phantoms Are Entirely Unaffiliated

god in jeans by ryan beatty

good omens au

julie and the insomniac adventurers

there's drinks and smokes and funny jokes the world ain't all that bad

i just think reggie would really love being a girl. she'd have so much fun with it

julie's free closet for wayward genderqueer ghosts <3

the artist and the art restorationist!!!!!!!!!

skillet on the stove, it's such a temptation

jatp otgw au

jatp riot grrrl au

jo emotional's greatest hits

juliereggie megamind au

life drawing model au

mercer family youtube channel au

pacedina dual plot split

reggie has genders 'verses

spirited away au

sunset curve kisses the homies and also willie at summer camp

take a look at my girlfriend

tattoo artist/reference desk librarian

the soulmate goose of enforcement

the tower, the dragon, the sleeping maiden

three part harmony platonic juluke rivals to friends

troped round 2 inspired

bmc jatp au

tagging: no one because i have too many turmoils in my life and no need to add another. THIRTY SEVEN?? i dont even have that many followers. if you see this and wanna do it you can say i tagged you and i'll corroborate that claim

#btw.have not watched glee #well technically iwatched like half of s1 but that was years ago so doesnt count #oh my god that's so many #the ones in the middle that aren't alphabeticall are the ones that are in my 'jatp bits' doc #tried to pull most of them #km #jatp #jatp fanfic #tag game

[002yb]

For as rough as his brother's hands can be, they're gentle with him. Even when Ace couldn't return the kindness, Luffy endured him; holding fast to clenched fists and knuckles that were split and swollen. Persistent, stubborn even after Luffy pried his hand into Ace's and grit his teeth through the ache of Ace's bruising grips. Whining because he was a crybaby and it hurt, but never pulling away. Only squeezing just as tight in playful retaliation. Smile wide as he coaxed Ace's fingers out of their vice grip to clasp their hands together - warm and soft in a way that made Ace flinch. Because while there was dirt beneath Luffy's nails, there was blood beneath his.

And in spite of that—in spite of everything—Luffy never let go of him. Whether or not Ace feels worth that love and tender devotion, Luffy holds on to him: hands clasped together as Luffy beckons him on new adventures, a reassuring squeeze whenever Ace wavers, a bruising grip when Luffy is overcome; nails cutting into Ace's skin until Ace soothes him. Lips ghosting over knuckles - swollen and split).

Rough, but gentle with Ace. Always.

#acelu #okay someone tell me why they're so soft?? #the childhood sweethearts trope has never been so sweet i'm ahhhhhhh #following an Ace lives AU -- Luffy persisting with wanting to hold ace's hand or be held by Ace in any capacity ffffffff #with Luffy pulling Ace's arms around him - back to chest and then Ace plonks his chin on top of Luffy's head and it's so cozy and sweet #but wait-- #Luffy trying to hold Ace's hand. Just scooching his own beneath Ace's in a silent demand to be held #and Ace ignores him for the sole sake of tormenting his brother dear hahaha #of course he caves though and laughs through the kisses he presses to the back of Luffy's hand -- snickering because Luffy is fun to tease #and more-- #either of them surprise grabbing each other's hand and swinging them between them as they walk omgggggggg OMGGGG #them swinging someone between them -- Chopper or Tama or xyz kiddo -- so darling ;A; #most darling?? Luffy idly poking at Ace's fingers #just them standing at the side of the ship overlooking the ocean -- where Luffy is leaning against the railing #and Ace might be looking out at something but Luffy is focused on Ace's hands and he just --reaches out. Just a pinky to brush against Ace #and it gets Ace's attention and Ace hooks their pinkies and Luffy's smile is so brilliant that Ace can't help but fluster because ;////; #ahhhhhh Ace being helpless and having to look away but his ears give him away because they're burning red with blush and he tries to #play it cool but Luffy laughs at him because he /knows/ and Ace is OTL but it's wonderful ;3;

[vaguely-concerned]

I love Malcolm Hawke's first dialogue in Legacy (the one you get if you unbind the shade kept trapped by two seals in a little cell). clearly this whole business was the darkest shittiest time of his life and he's selling his soul and betraying every single one of his principles and everything, but he sounds so endearingly... snippy and exasperated about the wardens using demons willy nilly. the "listen I know I'm up to some shady stuff here and everything but let it not be said I was untidy. I'm fixing your shit as far as I'm able here. you will not be able to pin this one on me. these demons were here before I arrived, this is on the record now" energy. the way he's taking time out of his day to be responsible and enforce mage OSHA regulations in the middle of maybe the most hilariously irresponsible thing anyone's ever done after the magisters tried to break into the golden city. exquisite. the real Hawke family curse is having to specify that actually not all of the catastrophe was your fault okay this is at least like... 30% not on me this time. I. I tried. everything was on fire and I had a children's toy bucket and a bottle of rum on hand

#I've never played Legacy (or Mark of the Assassin) before so I'm having a ball lol #I love snarky!hawke in MotA in that he's such a callous asshole in a very specific and endearing way #it's the *shrug* all of my friends are crazy and most of them are killers what do you want from me here blaséness that does me in #bitch if you want my genuine emotional engagement you're going to have to do much much wilder than this #that and the hilarity of ignoring the call towards noble action tallis tries to pull on you and going 'no. fuck this' and just leaving #brilliant #dragon age #dragon age 2 #I have so many thoughts about malcolm as the ghost who is always hovering over the narrative #especially since it's very much implied your hawke takes after him no matter which personality type you chose #(right down to sharing a voice actor with male hawke -- do you think the twins look over at their brother and almost think #that it's their dad for a moment sometimes? I have feelings and thoughts all over the place) #a ghost varric has only ever met through the reflection he left behind in his children and especially hawke #the ghost of a ghost through the story. so interesting

[egglygreg]

Ok, so I had this dream last night right? And it was mostly nonsensical and weird and silly, but there was this moment...

#I was the winged fairy girl at this point during a big battle #someone sliced me right down the front through my corset and dress #it was inspired I think by that fight in Zorro between Zorra and Elena #except NOT flirty dude was trying to kill me and sliced a wound down my chest #not super deep but still #and then this other guy #the one in the drawing #defected from the enemy side killed the other dude and very distressed tried to help me #which involved a very funny moment of him pulling my hands back to see the wound and realising my corset had been cut clean through #and us both getting extremely embarrassed and him pulling the corset back together and telling me to keep pressure on it #literally the most YA romantic comedy moment I've ever experienced #I think the main influences of this dream were that I recently watched a youtube reaction vid of someone watching Zorro for the first time #A drawing someone I follow did of that popular YA fae novel that I've never read #and looking at tangled concept art #and actually definitely the first aid course I did this week #because I remember them talking about how you need to cut clothing off someone to put the defib pads on their chest #and I was uncomfortable with the thought of someone having to do that to me #AND the fact I was paired with a cute guy I'd never met and we had to practice putting each other in the recovery position #which was SUPER awkward #so clearly my brain was like You know what would be fun? an even MORE awkward and painful scenario! #but make it fantasy! #ellennart

[unhealthy-leon-brainrot]

i would like to thank every single leon x reader fic writer who has written about reader being generally insecure about their self and their worth in the relationship 💐😭

(if you’ve written one, please reblog with a link to your fic!! i promise you ill read it and hype it up !!!!! i seriously love supporting the leon kennedy nation!!! 💞)

#being someone so painfully insecure about their self.. i find comfort and solace in those fics :’) #imagine thinking youre literally one of the most unattractive ppl in your community who somehow ends up with someone like LEON???? 💀 #mf could pull ANYONE he wanted but he still chose YOU???? HUHHH?? (yes im projecting SHUSH) #when reader tries to hide their insecurity from leon but it eventually bleeds out UGHHHH LOVE THAT SHIT #and when there are third parties involve that make reader jealous/envious of them….. #AND THEN LEON FINDS OUT ABOUT IT ALL AND GRADUALLY ASSURES/REASSURES YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING #HE HOLDS YOU KISSES YOU AND MAKES LOVE TO YOU AND GENERALLY SHOWS YOU HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO HIM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔 #oh no not another word vomit 💀 #anyway i fucking love leon x insecure reader fics 🫶 #especially if it starts out angsty and ends up being the softest fucking thing ever bc u can just FEEL leon’s love…. SOBBING AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #leon kennedy x reader #seriously thank you leon fic writers <33

[momotonescreaming]

thinking about a fic where Dustin pulls the typical fandom trope of barging into Steve's house without knocking, shouting and complaining like an asshole - only to come face to face with Steve's parents

#steve's mom pulls the most offended face #his dad looks angry #who is this rude child and why is he breaking into their house #steve tries to calm them down #this is dustin steve babysits him sometimes #to try and stop his dad from calling the cops on dustin #because he WILL call the cops on him #and dustin curls into himself as steve glares at him when his parents arent looking #when steve says dustin needs to learn some manners or he'll end up in deep shit? #this is what he FUCKING MEANT DUSTIN #s4 dustin is an asshole #i want him to face the consequences of his own actions #a slap to face so he shapes up #i know he's a teen and all teens are assholes #but he's mean and entitled about it #way more of a bully than steve ever was tbh #stranger things #steve harrington #dustin henderson #momo.txt

[tsuchinokoroyale]

More like rad-b-gone lol

#I love that you can see me back off to dodge his grab before I’m like oh wait I can just bonk him lol #thank you radagon for being the only boss I could see myself doing hitless #except my dodge rate for his stomp/poke combo is like 5% #so it’s only feasible if he doesn’t do that move… #oh and the “nothing personnel kid” teleport and fast smash can also suck it #him the crucible knights and the bell bearing hunter are the only enemies I’ve learned to consistently parry in ER 😮‍💨 #I tried learning malenia’s parries but her damage is so overtuned it str8 up was not worth the risk and effort 🥴 #radagon definitely isn’t the most fun boss in Elden ring but I think he’s like the most fair out of every single one #which is why it’s gr8 that all my goodwill gets toss out the window with Elden beast 🥴 #I had one moment where he did Elden stars chase attack the triple closing rings and then sword swipes #and got absolutely annihilated bc I could not dodge all 3 attacks at once #like attack RNG has always been part of the difficulty in these games but with my limited knowledge this is the first one where #(( outside of gank fights )) #the RNG difficulty slider goes from manageable all the way to full health to death #had one round with malenia where she used waterfowl blade SIX TIMES and I only managed to survive bc I was playing around with a mage build #and was letting bby tiche do most of the damage while I pulled aggro from far away enough that I could dodge WFB comfortably #can you tell I’ve only ever done double godskins with both NPC summons and tears #I’ve heard enough about that fights bullshit that I straight up trivialize it every time I get it to it #Elden ring truly is the most difficult and easiest fromsoft game to date… dialectic 🥳 #excited to see how they balance things in the DLC bc honestly outside of WFB malenia really is a fun boss #I don’t mind that her normal attacks are so punishing bc dodging around them or knocking her out of certain attacks feels gr8 #so if bosses are malenia level TUNED without WFB level BULLSHIT I can see myself getting really into it 🥳 #tsuchi plays games

[puthyflapps]

Not them dying to bring Sarah back and absolutely hating their characters current plotlines 🫣🫢🤭

Carmen De La Pica Morales stans rise!

#marja Ryan Lewis and that writers room need to be cleared out #bring back Ilene chaiken and let her take a sledge hammer to this show because they’re ruining the shows legacy #was the original a little messy? Yeth but Ilene knew how to have a good time!! the show was funny and it was fun to watch and for the most #part the plot made sense AND MOST IMPORTANTLY we got to see women loving women on screen #I think MRL wanted a show where she got to write about all kinds of queer people but she couldn’t do it so she took TLW and basically piggy #backed off the name and legacy of the original show #obviously more queer stories should be told BUT TLW is supposed to be about lesbians and it’s like pulling teeth to get them to show 2 #ladies kissing like why can’t we have a sexy fun time???? #and not to sound like an old fart but showrunners and writers nowadays ig think that they have to inject politics into everything and I hate #when gen q tries to broach these topics because I’m not here to learn about theory bitch I’m here to see these gals get their puthies ate #the original definitely had moments that were a little political but it never tried to center that – they just wanted to show the lives of #lesbians the way that str8 shows depicted the lives of str8 people and I loved that #moral of the story: if they want a s4 they need to kick some people to the mf curb and get back to what made the original so fun and special #and obviously as I always say: BRING CARMEN BACK YOU COWARDS!!!! #the l word #the l word gen q #kate moennig #leisha hailey #sarah shahi #sharmen #shane x carmen #pants podcast

[archduke-enver-gortash]

having completely normal thoughts (gortash wotr au)

#yeah. it’s bad. not thinking about inserting zeke but GORTASH #he’d start out as aeon for sure #his opinions on companions are so fucking awful #not nearly as awful as the kingmaker au ofc. he’d call reg a sick dog that needs to be put down because his incompetent owner failed him #anyways. this is a deranged wotr post. #of course there’s no one among the companions fit to be his/equal status #but i’d say he’d have the most positive opinions of regill and greybor. as positive as a guy thinking of them as his tools can get. #towards greybor it’s like. ok you don’t see yourself as more than a weapon and neither do i. you do your job as long you get paid i can wor #with that. #meanwhile regill he’d love to have as a knight devoted to him instead of him being a hell knight #this of course never fucking works gortash’s weird manipulation would not pull through with regill in this matter #no romance of course. except for manipulative sex with wenduag probably. #he really wants that mongrel army! will pop a fantasy viagra if wenduag needs to be ‘roughly subdued to calm down.’ #he’d be a little more into it than usual because he doesn’t need to hold back with her but it’s still not a true subjugation in the end. #until later he’s like ok. i lied i don’t like sex get on the vivisection table #(aro + fucked version of grayace gortash truther if you didn’t know) #tries to refine her and the poison #he’d be awful to her in general. sees a weapon to be refined. she recognizes him as master now but her loyalty is fickle. #he’d earn all the respect flags #but still would punish her greatly for the first sign of betrayal in the abyss #oh and before this gets too long: one more for cam obviously. #sadly i don’t see a world in which he doesn’t immediately see through the mireya story and kill her in act 3 #but if he didn’t. it’d be so juicy. him in act 5 learning the full story. how her father talks about her. #just stands there frozen for 10 seconds with a thousand yard stare #<- to then go no i don’t think you should kill him you should [REDACTED GRUESOME TORTURE METHOD THAT KEEPS ONE ALIVE & AWAKETHE ENTIRE TIME #in the end he’d execute her anyways but. hm. he’d get triggered for sure #i have more thoughts but i’m gonna shut up now lmao

[fellhellion]

The way Miles accidentally hits what seems to be - given the severity of Miguel’s reaction - such a huge fucking bruise with the “Are those claws? Dude, are you sure you’re spiderman?” and it’s this trigger for Miguel just fucking. Exploding with everything he’s kept under lock and key like. Resentment over the way he seems to feel deeply isolated in the emotional burden of what he does, blaming Miles for what he believes was the catalyst which led to him being in this position (RIPeter’s death), hitting back (verbally) to hurt with the anomaly comments when it’s like dude. If they keep your origin intact, you’re both the so similar, and because this kid is living proof of every doubt you’re trying to suppress.

#the breakdown genuinely fascinates me because like. #I see people pull this as a gotcha card against his argument when it’s like. I don’t personally think if it takes Miguel hitting absolute #emotional rock bottom before he flips over from ‘Miles is spiderman therefore to protect people he needs to adhere to canon’ to #‘miles ISNT spiderman in this framework he CANT be’ its like. something he’s consciously considering #or at the most it’s part of the doubt he’s trying to suppress #he hits emotional rock bottom and THEN flips hard #tries to cram his understanding of miles back into the canon framework but from the opposite side #from the side of someone who wasn’t ‘supposed’ to end up like this #IS THE PROJECTION PROJECTIONING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE MIGUEL #you lash out but what was said was literally fuelled by your own doubts #so you try force it all to still make sense within the same framework even if it doesn’t #it CANT #because you’ve fucking doublebind yourself into a path you’re ashamed of but believed necessary #and your lives experience is TELLING you there’s consequences to flouting this #so if there’s not in actuality #what does it mean. what does it mean about you. what does it mean about what you chose to do #you’ve doomed them all again regardless #my ass is extrapolating from my personal interpretation of him to be sure but. man. the mental illnesses this guy is carrying #tunes talks spiderverse

[problemswithbooks]

It all feels like a retcon starting from the first look at toga’s backstory because it doesn’t sync up when you put all her actions together. I thought maybe hori was trying to say toga’s quirk became unfortunately linked to arousal after years of suppressing it and it being triggered by her feeling of admiration for her crushes. But yeah that would have been too mature to tackle for my hero though I could maybe see it with chainsaw man. So I don’t know get what’s going on right now except toga’s mentally ill because of her parents and society and he keeps trying to make last minute parallels between toga and touya.

I think the issue is that Hori never spent as much time or effort on Toga as he did with Shigaraki and Touya. Even now her backstory is rather limited in comparison. We got full chapters worth to explore what happened to Touya and Tenko but Toga's is a couple pages or panels here or there with everything being rather vague.

Hori likes using her for sexy pictures and drawing suggestive stuff with Ochako, but she ultimately isn't given as much thought as her male counter parts. Which given the already bad implications of her character has only made her even worse.

Take this latest chapter. We get this page for Quirk counseling.

It's just 2 panels that are honestly really vague. It also comes after her drinking blood from a bird her parents think she killed. Toga says it fell on the ground but that doesn't mean she didn't kill it (baby birds are often on the ground until they fully can fly, or it could have been injured), so that's not helpful either. On top of that it makes sense her parents would find the behavior bad regardless because it either means she killed an animal or picked up an already dead one and proceeded to eat it. Neither of those are great and both are harmful to her.

We just don't really get a good look at how the Quirk counseling worked. They say that they'll make her 'normal' but that doesn't mean they abused her. They could have just explained why it was wrong for her drink blood, like the health issues it could cause. On top of that Hori drops the 'it happens all the time in our current society' line, but we have never seen anyone else like Toga. Not even Stain was ever hinted at being like Toga despite their similar blood based powers.

This is like if we reduced the Touya chapters to a black screen with Enji commenting that he can't train him anymore and we didn't get to see how much Touya struggled with what he perceived as rejection, or how Enji completely ignored him afterwards. Or if we cut Shigaraki's father's abuse to just him yelling at him in black panels before he accidentally killed his family.

Then we get this. This honestly makes Toga look worse, not better in my opinion. We see that she drank blood from someone before she snapped at school. She says they got hurt so she kissed it better, but if you look at her, she is covered in quite a bit of blood. Maybe her friend did get hurt but they were either really badly hurt and bleeding a lot and Toga did not help them and instead started licking them, or she might have even made their injuries worse to get the blood she wants.

If Hori cared more about her character he would have been shown what happened here. Or in the very least put less blood if any on Toga, which would show she didn't hurt this person or ignore helping them with a serious injury because she can't think of anything but blood.

As it is we have no idea if her friend got really badly injured and Toga ignored helping to just feast on them, or if her friend told her to stop, or if she made the person's injures worse. Yes, her parents are wrong for saying Toga's not human, but if she's attacking injured friends that's a huge problem.

One of the biggest issues with Toga is that she is both portrayed as so obsessed and desperate for blood she can't comprehend why anyone might not like her shoving a straw in their neck, but at the same time she was and is at times able to be perfectly fine. She can't understand why Ochako or Izuku, in desperate situations caused in part by her might not be happy with her, but can also turn around and comfort Twice and understand that he feels responsible for the death of a team mate.

It's impossible for me to feel bad for her because when I read her chapters I just see a drawing of an offensive stereotype that does what ever the author wants them to do. Toga just doesn't feel like a person at all. She's nothing but the sexy shell of a teenage girl that Hori doesn't seem all that invested in past her being cute and giving him an excuse to have two girls being all touchy and hot.

#ask #thanks for the ask! #bnha spoilers #bnha #mha #anti himiko toga #anti villain #bnha critical #shes just impossible to take seriously #cuz idk how she can be the most emotionally mature of the LoV #but somehow not get consent #like girl have you ever tried asking to drink someones blood before using them as a juice box? #did it really not occur to you that maybe people don't like being stabbed #i mean she never tries to attack any of her friends despite saying she loves them now #the only time she pulled a knife on Shigaraki was to threaten him #which means she does get that knives are threatening #yet she still throws a shit fit when Ochacko and Izuku are not happy with almost getting stabbed #like im sorry but that makes no sense even if she is really mentally ill #and if she was that mentally ill she never would have been able to pass as 'normal' until she was 14 or 15 #i also don't believe that neither her parents of the councilor ever explained why she shouldn't attack people #and just told her don't do that #even the abusive horrible gay conversion camps give people reasons they shouldn't be gay--even if they're all wrong #i just don't believe that they didn't tell her that it was at least dangerous for her after the bird #or say don't drink blood from people because they won't like it or that it hurts them #idk her character just drives me insane #and i legit don't get how there are people who think shes great #both as bi rep and as a well thought out character #she doesn't have a brain half the time and makes zero sense #and complains about people not liking her for very valid reasons #like shes just a whiny incel whose upset she can't attack people whenever she feels like it

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

I was reading sea glass gardens for like the 8th time in a row (listen I was praying to the gods for a fic focuses on Megumi & Yuuta, for a fic that shows Megs dynamic with the Zenins more, and for a fun little gojo adopts the fushiguro siblings and forced his friends to play aunt and uncle. You checked all my boxes. I am in debt to you now.) and its the way I'm still seeing the little details that should've been so fucking obvious to me —

Megumi and Tsumiki fucking around and adopting some of Gojo’s habits and sayings? I know he was so proud that his children is becoming mini versions of him. Toji is crying in the depths of hell while Mamaguro is happy as hell in the pearly gates.

“It’s a garden” it took so long for me to peep that this was his domain. Like tfw when your domain is fucking you up. I pray that Gege shows us his completed domain. Actually I PRAY GEGE LET MEGUMI SHOW OFF HIS FUCKING POTENTIAL. But alas Gege is a coward.

THE NICOTINE PATCH? Oh Shoko my beloved. I get her. I fucking hate cancer sticks but if I had to spend time with corpses, being forced to converse with the higher ups, and having to be friends with Gojo and Geto AND witness their divorce. Well. I would’ve smoked something too. Like goddamn these bitches should’ve been at the club.

The little callbacks to the playbooks? How petty the sorcerer world gotta be for them to have cheat sheets on their enemies. Is that not crazy? Is this who they are? Petty bastards.

toji pulling up to get married in sweats. megumi killing curses at such a young age for his sister? toji giving megumi shit to get him to stfu? oh megumi you dodged a bullet with toji.

BUT WHAT I REALLT WANTED TO WAS THE BATHHOUSE. Megumi needs to go feral as a threat cause imagine how humiliating that must’ve been. A bunch of assholes & such watching you like some fucking cult. I really hope that Megumi and Gojo have some type of reassuring talk about his time at the Zenins.

(Yaga and Gojo going at it while Panda in the room is so funny to be but…it’s also kind of sad. Like imagine seeing your dad figure basically be okay, well not okay but not willing to fight back, about the higher ups and everything.)

Obsessed with the fact that I can toss up what seems to me to be a random niche interest and find a community of people who wanted exactly that. I’m thrilled I checked off your boxes.

The bathhouse was designed to be humiliating by nature. I talked about it more on another post (but fuck if I know where it is), but the point of including that whole bit was that I really couldnt think of any better way to emphasize that megumi wasn’t a person to them.

On its face, the private bathhouse with servants tending to it could be a sign of status. It’s kind of an old world nobility thing to have? Which fits with the Zenin, who are very traditional and value Megumi as their most treasured person to be born to the clan in centuries. He would be presumptive heir if Gojo hadn’t intervened. So they’d easily be able to cast this in their own minds as a good thing, as a way they’re taking care of him. He’s not subjected to the communal bathhouses or small private bathrooms like the majority of the clan—they’ve given him his own private facilities and servants to care for him in it.

However, once you take away Megumi’s consent, it becomes an absolutely humiliating and degrading experience that only happens for the Zenin’s comfort and not his own.

I spoke about this in the other post in more detail, but I tried to imply that this wasn’t the first time the Zenin had done this to him. And there’s two points that kind of implicate that—when Maki’s talking to Yuuta about how it used to be when Megumi was a kid, she says the first thing that they would do when he arrived in the clan was hand him over to the servants to make him presentable. She also talks about how viciously he hated the way they’d make him look in the clan, including stomping the clothes they’d make him wear in the mud. When Megumi himself is talking about the bathhouse, he says he was given over to the servants like when he was a kid. This wasn’t a new experience for him. They weren’t doing this to him for the first time. They did this to him when he was a kid, and he’s reliving all of that trauma anew.

In my mind, it was a product of how selfish the Zenin’s love for megumi is.

He’s their favorite doll. He’s a possession. They want him to look and act exactly the way they expect from him, and they despise any divergence from what they want the ten shadows to be. And they hate it when they’re reminded of how Gojo took him from them.

They don’t want him dressed in modern clothes. They don’t want his hair styled in a manner similar to Gojo’s. They want him to look like the Ten Shadows they always wanted, and one surefire way of controlling that is to simply do it themselves, whether or not megumi is on board.

And the thing is? It is such a fundamentally minor thing to let someone bathe and dress themselves. It would have cost the Zenin so so little to let Megumi do it. Even if they were still dictating what clothes he wore and how he styled his hair (which would still rob him of his autonomy on its own, they could have at least let him do the actual act of bathing and dressing himself. They could have violated him a little bit less than they already were. The biggest inconvenience it would have risked to them would be him doing something not to their exact standards and losing a few minutes to making him redo it. But on Megumi’s end, it symbolizes a huge source of autonomy and comfort. Letting Megumi bathe himself really does impact so little for them, but for Megumi, it could have saved him from lasting trauma.

The Zenin do it to him anyway because they value their minor conveniences over his very bodily autonomy. They don’t even recognize that as a genuine concern. He’s a possession to them. An object. They don’t actually love him, and the love they think they have is actively dangerous to him. They will violate him in a very fundamental way just so they can make sure he looks how the ten shadows is supposed to look, and they won’t care.

Being forcibly bathed against your will is just humiliating, especially at Megumi’s age, and it’s one of the things that hurt him the worst out of everything the Zenin just did to him. I think Megumi takes physical pain better than he does humiliation. Having to be exposed and vulnerable the way he was with other people watching was a more effective torture than locking him in a room with curses for days.

But there’s extra layers to it if you consider 1) this is something the Zenin have done to him before and 2) this is something that he could have stopped.

When Megumi was six, he was definitely at the age where he was already bathing himself. Some parenting books say parents should still be helping at that age, but his parents were completely checked out well before then. He had already been handling all his hygiene needs on his own. Having strange adults force him to let them do it for him was a traumatizing and infantilizing experience that represented one of the many ways the Zenin robbed him of all control over his own life when they had him.

But now it’s happening again.

And megumi probably didn’t think the Zenin would do that to him again, walking into this. He probably explained it away as them doing that to him because he was still a little kid at the time. He told himself it happened because he was six, and he’s not six anymore.

Having it all happen again was a very visceral reminder of how helpless his abusers used to make him, and immediately kicked him back down to that level with a very potent reminder. It’s trauma reawakening trauma. He felt like he was six again. He probably told himself for a long time that it would never happen again and it still did.

The other thing is that he’s a lot more capable in a fight than a six year old. He’s a grade two jujutsu sorcerer. He’s a fighter. And he’s being manhandled by servants who don’t have a lot of cursed energy, if they’re even sorcerers at all, and aren’t meant to be combatants. These are people he should be able to defend himself against easily. He should be able to stop them from doing this to him again.

For whatever reason, he couldn’t.

Maybe Gojos theory about them having something on him was right. Or maybe he was too worn down and broken from the cursed spirits. Maybe it was something else. Whatever the reason, this is something that he would have told himself he was strong enough to stop, and then he wasn’t. He either had to let it happen or couldn’t stop it even if he tried. It’s a new level of helplessness and humiliation that it made him experience.

In short, megumi does deserve to go feral over the bathhouse, and probably needs to. He’s really not okay over it. It would probably be cathartic.

#sea glass gardens #this fic was designed to make sure megumi came out of it with a really bad state of mind and part of the reason why is because it’s meant to #slot into the gap of canon between JJK0 and season 1 #Megumi walks into season 1 with his fixation on maharoaga at an absolutely dire level #he tries to pull the trigger there every other fight #and in my mind a lot of that’s because Megumi’s just /not okay/ when canon starts #this episode with the Zenin is supposed to feed into that #prior to the Zenin mahoraga was a last resort #but when we hit season 1 Megumi’s very decidely hitting ‘last resort’ a bit. prematurely. #he’ll start a fight and be like ‘whelp this is it’ bb try at least #this zenin incident is meant to feed into it #he had his moment of last resort. the moment where even Gojo and Nanami agreed that what the Zenin were demanding he do was a death sentence #and he /didn’t use it/ for some reason. they kept him from it. #mahoraga was his safety blanket over the years. the one sure point of control over his life. he’d die as a jujutsu sorcerer and not have #a choice in becoming one to begin with. but he’d die taking them down with him. he’d die on his terms. it was the /one/ point of control he #had. the Zenin robbed him of that and robbed him of a lot of other illusions of control #megumi didn’t have control over when he slept. when he ate. where he went. what clothes he wore. they even stripped him of the basic act of #getting control over his own bathing processes. it was the most violating loss of autonomy imaginable. #Megumi’s going into season 1 with severe ptsd and an almost manic desire to make sure he doesn’t lose control again. he wants to make sure #that he can at least go out on his terms. he lost every other feeling of security and autonomy and he needs to still have this #also panda was fucking sweating during that time #his dad was Not the most popular man in that room and he agreed #megumi thinks that the Zenin did that purposefully to hurt him and it would honestly hurt him worse to find out that it was a twisted act of #love. like. he gets hate. he understands hate. he knows why someone would do that to hurt him. he doesn’t know why they would do it out of #love. and it would disturb him on a profound level if he knew that was what the Zenin thought of that moment #they told themselves that they were putting him to rights and restoring him to the ten shadows he would one day be again and would #understand then. they can’t conceptualize a version of megumi that legitimately rejects them so they reject his autonomy and freedom in #getting to decide to reject them

[eddis-not-eeddis]

Looking back on my childhood...some things become much funnier and also much sadder in hindsight.

#when i was in school for a brief window before my parents decided to homeschool us #there were two girls about two years older than me who i retrospectively realize were trying quite hard to bully me #(and did in fact bully many other girls...so badly in fact that there was a lawsuit and several children were pulled from the school) #the one girl was the ringleader and would rile up the other girls in her class and her special pet henchman would help her #they used to say really awful things about and to me #i have one very vivid memory of the three of us playing all alone at a park and we were fighting over what was essentially a kiddie-zipline #we were all three taking turns but the ringleader and her pet henchman wanted it to themselves #so they started telling me to go away and play by myself #i knew they weren't allowed to tell me to go away and i didn't want to go away #so i just kept taking my turn #when they tried to jostle me away i jostled back (and i was a very sturdy five year old) #when that didn't work they tried to tell me that they didn't like me #and i told them very frankly that that was okay because i didn't like them either #then they tried to tell me that NO ONE liked me #and i listed off three other girls who did like me #so they told me those other little girls had told them that they were just pretending to like me #and i told them that no i was pretty sure netty and angie and kayla wouldn't say that-- #(the most hilarious things was that these girls had never met kayla to begin with--a fact i was quick to point out) #--and that they were just saying that so they could hog the playground to themselves #it went on and on like that until all three of us had to go home #and i was completely unfazed by the whole thing #i only realized when i was MUCH MUCH older how vicious they were trying to be #but i was used to fighting with my siblings and that's how you warded off that kind of attack #you had to be matter-of-fact and a little brazen and never let anyone jostle you off the playground! #(not being afraid to tattle-tale was another asset XD)

[sysig]

My printer hates me :) (with many thanks and credit to @niennanir as before)

Gosh aren’t they gorgeous tho ♥ Especially the latest and largest, though I have to give all the credit to the paper on that one haha, it’s stunning IRL, I could almost stare at the gold lattice forever rather than read, but I’m so happy with how it turned out between the pages as well!

Quick showcase of the new additions! :D

My Drinking Game as another test run, I got the spacing how I wanted it! Yay! It’s so much handsomer and less cramped! Also I gotta say, if it wasn’t such a large usage of paper, this would be my ideal way of checking for typos - I found a couple after setting it down to ink lol, they’ve been fixed now at least ♪ Paired here with the emerge, transformed three-parter, one of my all-time-favourites <3 I reread it the night I finished it and cried again, a little bit of tender mercy always wrecks me hhhh ♥ There are so many beautiful evocative lines! I’m so happy to hold it ♪ And as you can see above, that was the one that got the cute little ghost dust jacket :D

Another test run of what I’m calling volume 1 of my Vargas Drabbles lol, so not including Have you lost your mind? since that one’s currently unfinished. I do fully intend to print it once it’s done tho :3c Hopefully that one will cause me fewer problems! I hate measuring, so I may have flubbed two covers before finally getting this one into good enough shape XP And my red yarn is still in storage so >.> Did I go purchase another ball of red yarn? I’ll never tell. You can’t tell me it doesn’t look great as a bookmark tho <3

And my current happiest! Ah!! It turned out fantastic on all counts! The cover paper obviously, as I couldn’t Not lead with that, but also the size of the spine and the way the pages settled against each other while glueing - I used a different type of paper for this one and I think I’m completely converted over, it feels amazing to work with. Whatever I was using before had to have been like 15lbs lol, I’m literally just using normal 20lb printer paper but it feels and looks and behaves so much nicer <3 The size of Helix also allowed for a slightly larger bookmark, which was perfect because we had this soft gold ribbon that was all of a couple millimeters wider than the other ribbons/yarn I’d been using, and it looks so so so pretty with the gold detailing!! I’ve put it between Ch. 1 and 2 and getting to see the actual physical size differences of the chapters is so fun ♥

#Hhhhhh crafting is so funnnnn <3 <3 <3 #Fully intending to make more - I have the next set picked out and the accompanying dust jacket to go with it haha #I've decided to stick to dust jackets for the plain non-textured covers for the most part #It does hide my detailing on the covers but it also hides if I haven't done anything to the fronts as well! Haha ♪ #I added a Captain/ZEX caption to Drinking Game like I did with ZEX/DAX but the latter is still the prettiest by far <3 #Their names were made to go together you could say hehe ♪♫ #You can kinda see I tried my hand at making a custom cover for the Vargas drabbles as well - it kiiiinda turned out? Lol #As stated I hate measuring and the lines turned out wonky :P But it's done and I've reread it for typos lol #I was worried I'd find rereading my own work cringy since most of those are older than either of my SCII fics but no it was nice actually :) #I did actually go supply shopping yet again for these since I'm having so much fun with it hehe <3 <3 #The yarn and the cover paper I used for Helix were both good finds :) I got a whole booklet of space-themed cardstock! :D #That one was one of the lesser space ones hehe ♪ I had a couple other considerations - like a yellow-on-white constellation one ♫ #But I think I'm the happiest with this one! It's beautiful and I feel like it reflects the Idle Rich themes a little bit hehe <3 #Hhhhhhh it's so nice to read them like I would a book ♥ I enjoy reading them on my iPod but there's something about The Experience hehe #Being able to hold it and place a physical bookmark and not having the glare of a screen or if the scroll goes funny lol #Just exactly what it is! And I can pull any of them at any point! #I actually had a moment where I wanted to read one of them but didn't want to move from my spot to physically go get it #Only to realize later I was holding my iPod at the time and could've read it that way as it's still very much available online lol #SCII #LAC #Vargas

[blueskittlesart]

he became the thing he swore to destroy

#im in denial again. hes fine #for real though that was. wow #i have cried at a manga ONCE before tonight and it was the end of demon slayer. and it was nowhere near as hard as i did just now #what the hell man. what did i do to deserve that. what did AKI do to deserve that #i hope denji murders makima in the most painful way possible <3 #the way the fight was interspersed with his dream. the way he was so happy to play with them. man #AND HE DIDNT EVEN WANT TO KILL IT ANYMORE. HE TRIED TO PULL OUTTTTT HE JUST WANTED TO LIVE WITH HIS FAMILY #GOD. FUCK THIS MANGA #asks #csm spoilers