#turns out im just asexual

[quinnsanestuff]

funniest fucking thing was when i thought i was just into some really freaky shit because regular nudity and sex didn't turn me on

#turns out im just asexual #i was out here having sex like #damn i must be hardcore #wonder what gets me going #when all this time #asexual #ace

[toytulini]

listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good' #like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches' #'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty? #you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.

[jusiri]

Being ace is making sexual jokes/posts thinking people will get it, and then realizing that people actually say those things and mean it, so people thought you were serious and now it haunts you

#asexual #asexual things #actual tags cause why not #anyways #some people know exactly the thing im referencing here #caught sight of it the other day and was overwhelmed by cringe for a moment #i know most people who saw it either got that i was joking after a lil bit more conversation #or knew me well enough to know i was joking right off #BUT #the idea that someone might still think i was serious makes me mmmmmmmmm no #Nevertheless the post stays up #i refuse to delete simple cringe #i delete things if i changed my mind or realized i was speaking out of turn or needlessly harsh #but just cringe? never

[depresseddepot]

trying to determine which parts of my relationship with sex are asexuality, which are trauma, and which are autism is like trying to have a conversation with three people talking loudly and all at once

#just to be clear: asexuality as a result of trauma or neurodivergency is still asexuality. full stop no debate. #anyway because i love oversharing on tumblr dot com: feeling very sex repulsed on this day #i was joking with some guy about fighting each other (specifically said ''you ever fight a girl over 200 lbs? id break your ribs'') #and like three different people said something like ''well that would probably turn him on'' #and. listen. i get it. that was a joke response to my joke threat #but what i felt in that moment and still feel now requires nothing short of academic study to understand #first of all: how dare they make me feel embarrassed in a social setting when i was doing so well. #secondly: why the fuck would me making a threat make them instantly think of sex #thirdly: how fucked up is my body image that i hear that and immediately think they're all out of their minds #i like fat women. i am personally attracted to fat women. not (usually) sexually but i do think they are very nice to look at #so why is it so hard for me to accept that someone else could find me attractive as well ! #i think about being in a situation where a relationship and/or sex is a real possibility and i flinch like its going to hurt me #but why???? where is this aversion coming from !!!!! i am a hopeless romantic i daydream about romance all the time #so whats the deal here. is it subconscious bc of my asexuality and i associate romance with sex? #is it because of my autism where i associate romance with touch and am afraid i am too unempathetic to have a chance? #or (most likely) is it just because im so fucking scared of trusting someone that even the thought makes me nauseous #did this all crop up from a throwaway sex joke? yes #but people don't make sex jokes to me. people don't even pretend to allude to me being cute #this same group of people said a few weeks ago ''at least you're pretty'' #which. is not the case!!!!!!! people do not say those things to me because they don't want to even slightly entertain that idea !!!!!!! #and i am extremely tired of having my life upended because of this #i have always been treated like i was ugly and teased about it and i FINALLY have managed to be okay with not being attractive #and now that im okay with it: NOW is when the pretty jokes start. im fucking angry about it actually #i can't be both. i cannot think of myself in terms that abstract. i am one or the other #and this leads me to believe that people think i COULD be pretty. but the catalyst is that i am fat and therefore cannot be attractive #which just makes me more angry!!!!!!!!!!! #how can i be completely indifferent to sex and attraction without seeming juvenile. i don't care so so much #but every time that sort of thing happens i feel like im 13 again and the hot jock is talking to me #i need to be put down. something's wrong with this one (me) #i realize i can't stop people from making sex or appearance jokes but god i wish i fucking could

[thatone-highlighter]

Having no bearing on whats considered „normal“ is fun sometimes because ill live my life assuming something is just a silly thing made up or exaggerated for tv and movies and then i have a conversation with someone and find out no, thats a normal thing people do/thing that happens

#it happens. so often guys #so many things are more like ‚no America is just Like That‘ but theres others that are just #im the odd one out #turns out beinh transgender autistic aromantic asexual and from Australia in a world that centers american cis straight teenagers on tv #gives one a warped perception on reality #i didnt know corn mazes were real #the prevalance of summer camp movies makes more sense now #the high school sport stuff isnt reaööy a thing here but we Do have harry potter houses except nobody gives a shit #didnt know teenagers actually snuck out at night or said shit to their parents like that irl #i mean kid me also thought crushes were made up for tv so maybe its just me #Tree Man Posts

[yukianika]

BARBIE. THAT SCENE.

i like that its a joke and all but I can't help but genuinely route for the Barbie to be Asexual.

and I KNOW its a long shot or whatever but, it'll mean so much to my personal experience with barbie if she does end up ace.

to see every girl's (me included) childhood role model, the utter epitomy of hetero-normatovity in its history, become an asexual baddie with thousands of careers and achievement, with charm, wit, and grace.

And to know that little me was more similar to barbie than she thought.

You have to realize just how monumental that would feel.

#barbie #barbie movie #asexual #asexuality #asexual spectrum #lgbtqiia+ #lgbt pride #but srsly all thoughts aside Im just so excited to wear my best pick outfit #if turns out to be true though Ill cry #margo robbie #greta gerwig

[shopzone462]

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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

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get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good' #like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches' #'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty #you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2023

[scorchedparchment]

You'd think I have it easier than most people, being aroace. No fluster no sleep lost over the fear of rejection, right?

I wouldn't know. I haven't gone through what you have. I don't know if I'm fortunate or not. Regardless of the people out there, somewhere, celebrating their aromantism, 'romance isn't what makes us human', I don't know. There's a piece of life other people have that I won't ever go through. I won't ever have that feeling in your chest for that person, that indescribable feeling. I'm the odd one out. I'm the one without.

What I know, let me tell you, is running into a wall, over and over again and times where maybe I would've liked her if I weren't aroace. It's unlearning everything everyone taught me since forever. It's undoing the wiring I twisted together, taking apart the lies I convinced myself of. It's confusing, it's infuriating, it's difficult.

And just when- a moment, two blinks, three breaths after I thought I sorted everything out, when I thought I finally unraveled the multitude of fiction, something happens and a part of the made-up facts weaves itself back together. The cycle continues.

So- so you tell me. Tell me when your hand is in hers what I'm doing wrong. Tell me where's my right person at the right time. Tell me I'm too young to decide, tell me my mindset is a tragedy, tell me I'm confused. Tell me with a ring on your finger a story that will never be mine.

Tell me. I will take your puzzle pieces, and construct a picture of delusions and take it apart, over and over again.

#this cannot just keep happening. can it stop happening i dont want to see amatonormativity/ allonormativity on my schoolwork. #even if i turn out to be wrong im right for the time being #aroace #aromantic #asexual #amatonormativity #allonormativity

[edwardianbookwhore]

the s1 Amity kinnie to Collector kinnie pipeline

#its real #but also it may just be because i thought i was a lesbian but turns out im an asexual he/they #much to think about #toh #the owl house #toh spoilers? #amity #the collector

[aroaceofthesea]

Dont mind me just painting my nails for ace week

#maybe ill post a pic if i like how they turn out #ace #asexual awareness week #if they end up looking how im imagining them they will be suuuuper cool #spoiler: they wont even look close to what im imagining lol #lets just hope i dont completely hate them xddd #mine

[sonicrainicorn]

tbh other than pretending to have crushes on kids in elementary school, the first hint that I was aromantic should have been that time I showed my bf When He Sees Me and he jokingly said “is that how you felt when you met me?” and my immediate first reaction was to be uncomfortable before I just went “psh, no.”

and then I never questioned why that would make me uncomfortable

#turns out im just aro #you would think that when i did research on asexuality #i would have found out i was aro #but no #i just thought it was bc i hadnt dated anyone before #i was very wrong #aromantic #ramblings of a mad man

[doomednarrative]

Having revelations about my identity again and tbh its not actually as like earth shattering to my sense of self as I expected it to be

#will elaborate more here in the tags so its not a longass post #but tldr: I'm not asexual like I thought I was for 8 fuckin years! #and im actually happy with figuring that out #the label worked well for me when i needed it for what i needed it for but now it does not fit any longer #and im cool with that #this doesnt make asexuality an invalid label or anything of course its just not the one that actually applies to me as it turns out #not to get too into gritty details but like #i was mistaking my issues with dysphoria and some trauma based shit as well as general repression issues due to my upbringing #with being ace #because it caused some similar feelings and disconnects for a long time #but as ive had time to heal and actually be around other friends and people who helped foster a safe enviornment to explore my shit #ive found im not actually asexual #im uh. much more open to kink than I previously thought but i wont elaborate on that on this account at least #but still it is a thing. recent revelation #anyways yeah thats whats going on #this years been a Lot in terms of like reconfiguring and finding out new shit about my personal identity #but in a very good way #think i understand myself better now than i ever did and it feels nice #me talking