#ugly edit but the parallel is good

[estrella-zoe39]

having orv thoughts. specifically the kim namwoon and kim dokja parallel thoughts. so im deciding to put this anaylsis of them i made a while ago here on tumblr dot com because,,,, god they kill me. this very obviously contains spoilers for like, a good latter chunk of the novel so i would only read this if you have like read the whole book or atleast uptil chapter 480 because upon reading that ONE line, i broke and made this.

enjoy!

THEY FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGED IT IM SO PROUD

Analysis: The reason KDJ hates KNW so much is because he sees parts of himself in KNW that he hates. The part in which they both believe themselves to be "evil". The part in which they both delude themselves. And he hates KNW even more because in TWoS, KNW realises this and works on it.

Often in media, most people tend to hate characters that in essence, are most like them. The reason half the playerbase hates Mishima in P5 is because they see themselves in him. The weak, cowardly, attention seeking, and annoying part of themselves relates to Mishima. They don't like that about themselves because those aren't traits to be proud of. And oftentimes, people escape to medias like books and games to escape reality, not to be confronted by it.

KDJ once saw a part of KNW that admitted that he was a person deluded by a false sense of justice to escape the real world. A boy who had to grow faster than everyone else. A boy living in delusions to escape the real world. It hit KDJ, hard. He saw himself. He saw the ugliest traits of himself laid bare on the table. He hated it. So, he hated KNW too. He called KNW an unforgivable "character" because he knew deep down, it was what he hated most about himself.

Progressing through these scenarios though, KDJ realized. He realized his own delusions, his own pain. He realized he too grew a bit faster than the world around him. And confronting KNW was the last nail in the coffin. To admit that he is like KNW. To admit he went through that pain like KNW did. To admit KNW went through the same pain he did. And that's why he hated him, because while escaping reality, he saw a boy just like him in reality, and hated him because he IS that reality KDJ so desperately needed to escape from. KDJ growing and admitting they're the most alike is BEAUTIFUL and a scene I've wanted to see for so long.

Edit: I failed to mention this, yet, KDJ was and still is also so terribly jealous of KNW. KNW, had everything KDJ wanted at the time, which is YJH. To be in a world in which KDJ can have someone to rely on. KNW had that, with YJH, LJH, and Uriel. Yet, KDJ didn't. KDJ had to be in this ugly, disgusting world that he hated because no one around him cared for him. The only thing that could possibly care for KDJ was YJH, and when he saw KNW be greeted with open arms. He was jealous. He was jealous someone so much like him could get love from who KDJ needed it the most from.

#orv #orv spoilers #omniscient reader's viewpoint #omniscient reader spoilers #kim dokja #kim namwoon #kdj #orv kdj #orv analysis

[bluegumballmf]

lately ive realized i DESPISE the way the witch is treated in the stp fandom. Like,she's playful and guarded, not some uwu cat girl. She was created from a betrayal of trust and she shifts her personality both as a trauma response AND because the player’s perception of her shifts

Like shit we can see changing personalities as a trauma response IN THE WITCH

She is TRYING to confuse the player so that he doesn't hurt her anymore cus she trusted him and then got stabbed in the back like shes not just a uwu catgirl im so mad she just gets reduced to that. Also like- adaptability is a necessary feature for humans to have to survive.

And the princess's whole thing is adaptability, so ofc she shifts when someone who she trusted stabs her in the back like

Aughhh i hate it when characters are reduced to stereotypes

But like i could go on for hours about how the princess is boiled down to certain traits about her in the stp fandom because it irks me so bad

Aughhh let her be a deep character for one second.

AND ALSO FOR YOUR ACTIONS HAVING CONSEQUENCES BEING THE ENTIRE PURPOSE IF THE GAME IT ISNT ACKNOWLEDGED BY THE FANDOM NEARLY AS MUCH AS ITS NEEDED TO BE.

Im biased for the thorn route because it shows that gaining back trust is a mutual process that invloves both of you adressing that you hurt the other

The princess herself reminds me of a trauma response actually; Using adaptability to stay alive, always becoming what you expect her to be. Its how she survives, and its a really good parallel to abuse victims or victims of any kind

Goddd im so normal about this game and its metaphors

NO BC GOING BACK TO THE THORN ROUTE-FORGIVENESS WHEN ITS ACTUALLY EARNED AND RECIPROCATED IS SO GOOD

GRRER

you have no idea how long this rant has been stewing in my autistic little head

Ijust

I think the stranger route is the best example of someone right after receiving trauma

Scrambling to figure out what happened-why did they fracture? Why did everything change? who are they now? (edited)

They're scrambling for answers and overwhelmed with emotions and so so confused and so scared, because this trauma-as little or as large as it may seem, will affect them

It reminds me of some people ive known who've reacted similarly to trauma and thats a thing i love about stp

It doesnt shy away from being realistic and raw and ugly, Because thats what humanity is. And even gods can be human, even gods can be ugly.

#slay the princess #Stp #stp princess

[kyrieeleisonelise]

Ruby the Actress (major Manga spoilers!)

Ruby is probably my favourite character in Oshi No Ko. She’s someone who at first seems really simple and straightforward, but as the story progresses it becomes more clear she’s more complex than that.

In the current arc, a lot of parallels are being drawn between Ruby and Ai, Ai is central to Ruby. As Sarina, Ai was her escape and her idol. As Ruby, Ai was her mother (and still her favourite idol). Ruby both loves Ai, wants Ai to love her and wants to emulate Ai. Ruby is borderline fanatical about Ai. 

But how similar are they?

The narrative has portrayed Ruby both as one of the more honest/straightforward characters, but also asserted that she has been lying/acting this whole time, so what’s the truth?

Ruby isn’t a step-ford smiler and doesn’t have any issue with expressing negative emotions. Whether it’s her initial hostility towards Kana or her nerves before a big show or throwing a childish tantrum about a song. 

It’s hard to imagine Ai being comfortable being this emotionally open around someone. Even when Ai was insulted by a friend on B-Komachi she hardly had any outward emotion, compared to Ruby in the same situation.

Ruby also values honesty even to her own detriment, wanting to honestly do the work out YouTube challenge with Pieon, even though they could of just edited it. Compared to Ai, who felt that being a liar was intrinsic to being a good idol and felt unable to stop lying.

But if Ruby is a sweet, honest and straightforward person, how was she able to change so quickly into someone who was willing to manipulate those around her for the purpose of revenge? Is it a sudden character change or something that was building in her all along?

Even before she was Ruby, Sarina is shown to be a sweet and cheerful girl. I don’t think this was completely an act, but she felt she had to hide her more ‘ugly’ emotions in order to keep her parents love and affection. Even to Gorro she never showed the extent of her hurt and anger about being abandoned by her parents. Crucially, she also lied to herself, unable to face reality that her parents didn’t love her the way she wanted them to. She is unable to face this reality even as Ruby, until she can’t deny it any longer. 

Even though Ruby is ‘cute and honest’ the circumstances of her life necessitated her to lie about important parts of herself; She kept being reincarnated a secret from Ai and everyone around her. She even kept the details of her past life a secret from Aqua. When Ai was killed she had to keep it a secret from the world. This increased her reliance on lies, as in order to protect her own secret and Ai’s, she has to play a ‘role’ and continue to pattern of cutting off unwanted parts of herself. 

Although Ruby was able to overcome Ai’s death to an extent and is able to grieve in a more healthy way than Aqua, she’s obviously still traumatised and harbours a lot of rage and hate for the perpetrator in her heart. Which she keeps mostly hidden. 

Ruby has shown to cope well with Ai’s death, but the fact she is unable to speak to any of her friends about major traumas in her life (one mother abandoning her, another being murdered) probably limits her ability to come to terms with her feelings. The only person she can sort of speak to- Aqua- has his own stuff going on. 

One of the first things Ruby says post time-skip is that she has two big secrets, showing that hiding things have remained central to her life. Whether she wants to or not. 

  Ruby remains cheerful and straightforward post time-skip, and I really don’t think this is all an act. She builds genuine friendships with Mem and Kana, unlike Ai who struggled to make connections with her teammates. Ruby really enjoys being an idol. She wants to fulfil her own and her mother’s dream and be a pure-hearted idol. 

And for a while things are fine. 

Until they’re not and Ruby realises that the person behind her mother’s death is still out there, and they killed the doctor who supported her more than anyone in her previous life. 

It feels like a complete character change. But is it?. Ruby is someone who feels love very strongly, but she also feels hate too.

She begins to be motivated by hate instead of love. With the same single-mindedness she displayed aiming to be an idol, Ruby aims for revenge for both Ai and Gorro. Ruby has always felt incredibly strongly about those she loves; Ai goes without saying. For Gorro, Ruby wanted to become an idol partially to meet him again, even though that was completely improbable. She can be fanatical with things she loves.  

So she is able to cross her own morals in order for revenge. Ichigo agrees to introduce Ruby to Ai’s old contacts if she becomes famous. So motivated by vengeance, Ruby manipulates those around her to become more famous. She’s surprisingly adept at it, because she was already used to having to hide things and put on an act to an extent. She isn’t ‘made of lies’ like Ai felt she was, but Ruby has always been cutting off the uglier and more complicated parts of herself in order to fit the role she wants to play. 

 Ruby becomes super popular. Her personality starts to shift but it’s she hasn’t completely left behind her childish traits. Being a manipulator is another role for her, but there are hints she still isn’t as calculating and serious as she maybe wants to be.

The pedestal Ruby put the idol world on starts to crack, and she starts to confront the ugly part of show biz beneath the glittering veneer. She realises that Ai probably had to lie too to be successful. She starts to realise the truth about things she’s lied to herself about. Idols aren’t always pure and perfect and the world they live in is brutal. Ai was the ideal to Ruby/Sarina, she always tried to emulate her. She wanted to be a pure and innocent idol like she thought Ai was, now she thinks she needs to be a liar like Ai. 

The happy lies Ruby made into part of her identity start to crumble.

Then, Aqua tells the world Ai’s secret in order to save Kana. Ruby see’s this as the ultimate betrayal. She thinks Ai is no longer first in Aqua’s heart and she feels totally alone in the world. Even though she has others around her, Aqua is the only one who can understand the reincarnation and Ai’s death.

All her core beliefs have been squashed; The Idol world is cold and brutal and lead to her mother’s death, Ai wasn’t a perfect innocent idol and had to lie constantly, and now she thinks Aqua has stopped caring about Ai, and loses the bond with the only person who could really understand her. She also has to confront that as Sarina she wasn’t loved by her mother.

At this point she begins questioning her own identity and falling apart. She no longer enjoys being an Idol but feels she have to get revenge. Ruby doesn’t know who Ai is, so she doesn’t know who she is herself. The entanglement with her own identity and Ai’s gets more confusing as she’s playing her in a movie.

She can’t be the perfect innocent idol- nobody can- but she doesn’t enjoy being the liar and manipulator she feels she needs to be to avenge Ai and Gorro.

We see how fragile her sense of identity is; she’s able to convince herself she became an idol to avenge Ai, forgetting that it was her dream across two life times.

It’s only when Aqua reveals who he is and reminds Ruby of who she was prior to her path of vengeance that she’s able to start rebuilding her identity. Finding out Aqua is Gorro helps tether her and bridge the gap between Sarina and Ruby.

Crucially, he reminds Ruby that she is not Ai. She doesn’t have to be her, she’s her own person and she’s good enough a herself.

Ruby still has a lot of struggles to come in the movie arc, but hopefully she’ll continue down the path of becoming her own person; realising she can’t be perfect and she will have dark feelings, but that doesn’t mean her naturally cheerful upbeat personality is a lie either. 

Is Ruby like Ai? I don’t think so. But they both struggle with identity. Ai feels like she’s never been able to form or connect with an identity, Ruby has had so many thrust on her (Sarina, Ruby, ‘Ai’) that it’s confusing to her.

They’re their own people with completely different backgrounds, personalities and quirks. But I do think Ruby’s emotional journey will leave her best placed to understand Ai; Ruby is starting to realise that Ai neither a perfect ideal idol, nor a mysterious master manipulator. She’s more than her idol persona. Ai is a complicated human with her own motivations, fears and issues just like everyone else. 

#oshi no ko spoilers #oshi no ko manga #oshi no Ko analysis #ruby hoshino #ai hoshino #aqua hoshino

[dumping-ideas]

Everyone had realized Tsukasa's parallel to Mafuyu because of this card, but I think the strings that Tsukasa manipulated had a slightly different connotation from the strings that controlled Mafuyu?

Both of them were controlled, Mafuyu by her mother while Tsukasa was in control of his own strings. But while Mafuyu's actions were the one that was manipulated, I think Tsukasa manipulated not only his own actions but also his own emotions for everyone else and his own gain.

See, Mafuyu's marionette card was of her being lifelessly manipulated by the strings, but her nurse card have her struggling against the vines (strings) that binds her. It's a progress--she wants to break free from the manipulation. Even though she lost her feelings due to her mother's manipulation, she gradually got them back... Her emotions could be said to have never been manipulated by her mother.

But in this Tsukasa card, Tsukasa gladly manipulated the dolls' strings. Tsukasa is definitely the puppet master here, and he's in control of his role. You can even think of this as Tsukasa manipulating--guiding--his negative emotions to create the best show that can make others happy... and he's not above manipulating them in his everyday life either.

There are a lot of instances where Tsukasa tends to hide his negative emotions if he thinks those emotions are not supposed to be seen by others. And if people noticed his negative emotions, Tsukasa would expertly moved the strings, letting them see what he let them to see, and it's not even for his own peace of mind. He's doing it just so others could stop worrying about him, to show them that he's in control of those negative emotions so there's nothing for them to be worried about.

Hinamatsuri, WMS, Pop in My Heart, Dazzling Stage, Curtain Call, and Sky's Edge have instances of Tsukasa shielding others from his negative feelings and letting them in just for a peek. One of the most notable one among those is Sky's Edge chapter 6 where he was so devastatingly upset when he's alone in his room and and yet when he met up with WxS in SEKAI he acted like he wasn't just on the verge of tears some minutes ago. Another interesting thing is that Tsukasa 'overshared' with Saki about his problem in Part 1 of his card story, but his face (and even voice) didn't betray any of his restlessness at all. It's a slip of the tongue moment for him.

And the reason why Tsukasa let himself cry when he was with WxS in Chapter 7 was because he needed to let himself feel that helplessness, even if WxS were next to him and they could see his frustrated tears. That negative emotion was important for him to be able to create the best show that can make people happy and to answer everyone's belief in him. So what if he needed to drown himself in that feeling of inadequacy? As long as it was for the sake of shows and others' smiles, Tsukasa would do anything, even letting others in on his ugly emotions for a while. And I have a hunch that it's not it's hard for him to compartmentalize those feelings if he doesn't need them...

Interestingly, none of the dolls in other WxS cards have strings--visible ones, at least. But nonetheless, the three of them are performing with those dolls. Can it be seen as WxS happily performing with Tsukasa, without realizing how much effort or skill that Tsukasa needed to manipulate those dolls? Do they just accepted the dolls as they are? Or does Tsukasa doesn't let them see the strings yet? After all, he's proud of being able to manipulate them because everyone is expecting him to be the unwavering pierrot. And as long everyone is happy, then he can be happy too.

Tl;dr: Tsukasa gladly manipulates the strings so he can fulfill everyone's expectations and create the best shows.

Edit: on the other hand, this means that Tsukasa is good enough to use all his negative emotions for a positive thing--his shows!!

#proseka #pjsekai #project sekai #hatsune miku colorful stage #analysis #tenma tsukasa #tsukasa tenma #i think i've wrote similar sounding analysis to this card reading #am i just repeating myself #only now with visual rep? lol

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Saturday, November 4

Spike sits slouched in his chair, watching TV. WOMAN ON TV: (screaming) Oh my god, the blood! Look at all the blood! Spike's stomach growls. He looks down at his stomach, puts his hand on it, gets up.

~~Gone~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Baby, Take Me Higher by madeingold (Angel/Spike/Cordelia, E)

Weekly Drabbles #36 — Turning Point by veronyxk84 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

Weekly Drabbles #37 — Conflict by veronyxk84 (Buffy, Dawn, R)

What Lao Tzu Said by Donald_comeon_America_was_never_great (Willow/Tara, G)

Reminiscing on the Unexpected by columbo (Giles/OC, G)

Whumptober 2023 - Ch. 11 [only BTVS chapter] by DelektorskiChick (Wishverse Xander/Wishverse Willow, Angel, E)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Shadowed Suspicion Chapter 399 by madimpossibledreamer (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure xover, T)

Every Rose - Ch. 1 by sunalso (Buffy/Spike, E)

Sunset Valley - Ch. 1-7 by dwinchester (Buffy/Stiles/Dean, Supernatural xover, M)

Self-Made Hero: The Infinity Mirror - Ch. 1-16 by arcanedreamer (ensemble, T) [older work, author posted other older works too] COMPLETE!

Kinktober 2023 - Ch. 31 by Greensword101 (various M/M, E) COMPLETE!

[French language] En l'an 2023 - Ch. 8 by FridayQueen (Buffy/Faith, T) COMPLETE!

The Freak Show - Ch. 2 by hulettwyo (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only)

Dead End Plots - Ch. 12 by Melme1325 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Twice Broken, Thrice Burnt - Ch. 18 by ClowniestLivEver (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Drive - Ch. 18 by Holly (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

What Happens In Quarantine... - Ch. 21 by bewildered (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Visions of a Father - Ch. 6 by Buffyworldbuilder (Stargate xover, Cordelia centered, FR7) COMPLETE!

Use It or Lose It - Ch. 6 by Dynamite (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Giles - the Good, the Bad and the Ugly - Ch. 7 by flow (Buffy/Spike, PG-13)

the Eyes - Ch. 13 by Dusty (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

Twice Broken, Thrice Burnt - Ch. 18 by ClowniestLivEver (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: Here is the lovely Faith in all her glory by pocketsizedann (Faith, worksafe)

Artwork: more btvs toh au stuff [The Owl House] by pzyii (Buffy, Willow, worksafe)

Moodboard: faith/tara + a return from the other side... by sunbelieved (worksafe)

Comic: Paul Gadzikowski's The Hero of Three Faces by paulgadzikowski (Willow, Xander, worksafe)

Comics: Paul Gadzikowski's The Hero of Three Faces by paulgadzikowski (Buffy, worksafe)

Photo edit: Buffy the Vampire Slayer but it's Tumblr text posts by mycatismyfriend (various, worksafe)

Gifset: Angel season 4 episode 22 but it's just Lilah and Wesley looking at each other by gothamstreetcat (Wesley/Lilah, worksafe)

Gifset: Wesley, why can't I stay? by mycatismyfriend (Wesley/Fred, Wesley/Lilah, worksafe)

Gifset: Season 4, Episode 10 "Hush" BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER by endiness (The Gentlemen, worksafe)

Gifset: ANGEL THE SERIES (1.06) & (4.04) by cangelgifs (Angel/Cordelia, worksafe)

Gifset: [Buffy and Willow soul friendship] - Emily Rapp by andremichaux (Buffy, Willow, worksafe)

[Reviews & Recaps]

ReWatch: Angel (the series) S1, 7 - 9 by kimannebb

ReWatch: Angel (the series) S1, E10 - 12 by kimannebb

[Community Announcements]

Vidding Patron of the Arts [fanvids] by vidding

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Welcome to day four of this year’s I Will Remember Remember You Fic Marathon! by iwillrememberyoumarathon [This post is about the Revamped IWRY Marathon run on tumblr.]

[Fandom Discussions]

You see, in MY canon Faith and Xander eventually have... a mature conversation [about assault] by hersterical

what if Cordelia was actually a potential slayer and no one ever knew? by elizabeth-dicewielder

Injured Girl [which potentials survived with Chosen novelization info] by oveliagirlhaditright

BtVS "4x15" -> AtS "3x06" [parallels gifset] by mycatismyfriend

Can men be lesbians? In reality… probably not... In fiction? Hell yes... [spike] by girl4music

One of the main reasons why I'll never really respect ATS is because of... The Powers That Be. by faraige

So like, the love triangle/extremely complicated shape timeline in the buffyverse is... by evilwickedme

I'm cookie dough [gifset] by coffygifs

Wesley and Lilah by Tueuse de Vampires and others

FFH: Wesley's Relationships by nightshade and AlphaFoxtrot

Cangel(Cordy and Angel) appreciation thread updated by Tueuse de Vampires

Buffy's Beaches [filming locations discussion] by NoShip and others

Why weren't the Slayer (Kiersten White) and In Every Generation (Kendare Blake) novels given the Buffy branding? by 1r3act

Giles [in the comics] by Dependent_Break4800

Do you think Sam & Riley are still married? by cashmerescorpio

Studio says audience loves Snyder and... you’re pressured to make him likeable? by Lobothehobosexual

Why is William ‘beneath’ Cecile? by Certain-Apple2373

Xander Vs Spike. [good interaction] by Syn_33

Favorite One Episode Character by Gouryellan

Was rewatching Scream Queens, and Cordelia was part of the cast. [Charisma roles] by george123890yang

Why did Anya continue to go to Sunnydale High after she lost her powers in "The Wish"? by jdpm1991

Buffy the show [Tara and Buffy as friends] by Sudden_Horse771

Tara and Jasmine by magic-400

So why do you think Wesley went to get Faith without talking to Cordy about it first? by Boring_Ad_597

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

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#btvs #angel the series #fan fiction #meta #fan art #ats #buffy the vampire slayer

[wearesociety]

spoilers so beware

her grief was ugly and often times so hard to watch. i’m so glad ryan spent the entire movie exploring it instead of glossy it over (see: thor).

loved how we they didn’t gloss over her rage. at first i didn’t like that erik was who she saw but now i totally get understand. it was her rage that made her want to become black panther and she had to deal with that.

definitely loved the talk of traditionalism and science. ramonda wanting shuri to heal through their traditions while shuri clings to her science, to technology. they handled their grief differently and no one way was better than the other. ryan i love you

namor👀.. i can see the kylo reniffication of him. but i enjoyed his character, like alot. in my opinion hes a better antihero than erik.

now namor and shuri… im not mad at it! like giving your mother’s necklace to this girl? the line about burning the world together? did ryan know he was spoon feeding us content this good??? the painting of him and the black panther, like yes paint the person that came so close to killing you?

RIRI.. i just loved her. such a good introduction to her character i cant for her disney plus show. they parallels of her and tony are there. (when she’s hammering on her suit just like he did in iron man 1 when he was kidnapped or when she was going to far up and was losing oxygen.. I NEED TO SEE THIS EDITED

daddy everett ross.. still daddying. still shuri’s favorite colonist. now i need to go reread my fav shuri/everett fic. (also when shuri’s beads were ringing, he picked up his phone and acted like it was his gf???? so subconsciously when he thinks of shuri he doesn’t think of a platonic relationship) like he’s willingly to trade national secrets to wakanda because shuri saved him???

NAKIA. PRINCE T’CHALLA.. all too much i was overjoyed

this movie is a master class of storytelling. on the same level of logan and the dark knight trilogy.

watching it again ASAP

#black panther: wakanda forever #shuri #nakia #spoilers of black panther #shuri x everett #shuri x namor #thoughts on black panther wakanda forever #riri williams #ironheart #all the iron man feels #ladyofwitches thoughts #i have more to say on namor and shuri so that’ll be coming soon

[ephhemeralite]

Since you came to ask for my process, I'd like to come over here and ask about yours!! I see you also do drafts, and I'd love to hear how that looks for you 👀

There is no pressure to go as in depth as I did for mine though!!! And there is no rush <333

I hope your writing is going well!!!

hello!! i have written, honestly, so much in response to this. thank you very, very much for asking, because i love to talk about writing!! maybe more than i enjoy writing, even. lord.

one caveat about me and prose: my thing is very, very definitely poetry. i write poetry about every other day and i have done for years. i adore fanfiction -- to write it, to talk about it, to brainstorm about it, to help edit my friends'. i love how collaborative it is, i love its unique sets of tropes, i love when people talk to me about my fics and their own. i LOVE fic. i do not adore writing it the same way. sometimes, i think of it as a means to an end (having a fic i would like to read and am proud to have written). the way that i go about writing fics reflects this, i think.

my process is pretty shaky and i can be bad about sticking to it (i try to 'trick' my brain out of needing the things it needs to complete longform writing. like a FOOL). the general shape of my process is: an inciting idea (a song lyric, a poem, another fic, a tumblr post, "wouldn't it be cool if [blank] happened in a fic?") -> an actual concept (what would actually have to go on in a fic to make [blank] plausible) -> first draft (me telling the story to myself, ugly) -> second draft (rewrite with a lot of influence from the first draft but, like, good to look at). all throughout this process, i tend to take the time to line edit when my brain gets too overwhelmed with the actual writing, since i find editing to be leagues easier. it's a good way to take a break while still working on the fic, but it is deeply inefficient from every other angle. but, hey, the first rule of fic is to have fun and be yourself.

i'm going to go into detail under the cut bc no one's dash deserves what i've done to this ask.

warning (?) for the fact that the fic i'm currently writing is hockey rpf.

i usually start out with rambling to my friends, too! when my hrpf first possessed me, i sent about 15 messages to my friend cara (who doesn't give a shit about hockey or hrpf) that outlined the (hrpf-specific) trope i liked, what fic inspired me (x), and the goal of my own fic. an abbreviated snippet of that:

it could be interesting to play with the two ways the trope manifests (violent/aggressive and protective) (needing to be taken care of/reassured by teammates) via having them both nest. it has the potential to be so tender . . . i have this mental image of ullmark, who is spacy (clue that he's due for nesting on his own) at practice doing drills or smth when he hears swayman yell/yelp/smth (depends on what sets him into nesting, hurt/confronted/whatever) and goes to check on him only to be met with a fully nesting goalie. while trying to calm him down, he ends up nesting, too.

i imagined this as a oneshot with an extended version of this scene and, perhaps, another. i knew what vibe i was shooting for and what content might pair with it. i skipped the concept step, because i am a fool and i hoped it might be short enough to get through writing it with momentum. i did not do that. more on this later.

what an idea turning into a concept should look like:

i want to write a version of the batfamily/white collar crossover that deals with all related topics the way that //i// think they should be handled

into

a two-chaptered fic, heavy on parallels, split between peter and dick's povs. lots of unreliable narration where the parallels draw attention to how unreliable everything is. both chapters should include the same or similar scenes with the characters' first impressions of each other, moments when they clash (insert scene ideas where dick loses agency, peter invades his privacy, a major plotpoint from the show, etc), how that results in a rise in tension, and when that tension breaks in the climax (burning building?? dick fakes his death???), and closing scenes. dick's pov is going to include a lot more family stuff, focus on the issues of the fic, etc, while peter's pov obscures the issues and completely misses the presence of dick's family.

this is only a recreation of what my 'acquainted with the saint of never getting it right' fic's concept would have looked like, since i've lost all of this since i drafted it two years ago, but the thought stands. it's really sparse -- less than your zero draft, even, but the next step in my process is more than a zero draft, so i'd say they hold the same place in my process. i might include references to ideas i have for scenes if i have them, but they're usually few-word clues like "sketchbook" or "peter in apartment for coffee."

since i like to swim without a paddle, my next step is draft one. my goal is to get it down; if the details feel good and come easy, i will include them, but i don't let them trip me up. it's easier to add shit into the next draft than it is for this one to go uncompleted, basically. some word choices from this draft might remain in the final piece, but rarely does sentence structure or much else.

Sway is growling from deep in his chest, projecting the sound out across the ice. The rest of the team is inching away from Sway’s crease and towards Linus, which upsets something in the back of his mind — Sway should have the team around if he's upset. Clearly, with the growling, he doesn't want them close, but that doesn't mean that they should leave him, either. Once he settles down, he's going to want them. Linus knows, he'd had his fair share of triggered nesting episodes when he was younger. Unless there was something specific that’d set him off — then things would be different, according to what he needed — but Linus doubts that. It was mostly likely that this was just a simple rough start and Sway could get into proper nesting the moment he settled down and relaxed in the net. He could show Sway that easily, Linus thinks. His drifting forward comes to a gentle stop near the front of the pack of teammates and coaching staff carefully not crowding Swayman. He registers, in a distant way, that what's happening right now is going to cause a heaping helping of issues for somebody, but he's also not worried about it. At all.  What he's worried about is how Sway needs to feel safe right now and how he doesn't. Linus knows that he's never felt safer than while nesting for this team and that he could give Sway that, if he tried. He just has to get Sway to a nest. All he needs to do is tell Sway that and Sway will surely listen. He lets out a loud chirp, cutting off whatever the head and goalie coaches were trying to say to Swayman. Usually, he'd feel pretty guilty about interrupting, but it's alright. He's going to fix the issue; they'll understand. Sway moves from eyeing up the coaches to staring straight at him so fast that Linus worries about him pulling something; all of the more reason to get him safe and tucked away, somewhere where they can both relax. The growl dies abruptly in his throat, which makes Linus want to preen. Clearly he knows his teammates best. Linus chirps again, eager to get this moving along. Eyes locked onto him, Sway chirps back.

this is a pretty long excerpt, sorry, but a lot happens between the first and second draft and this has plenty left unworked.

the first paragraph is alright -- some imagery i like (the growling and the team's movement), linus' thought process toes the line between coherent and incoherent the way i'd like it to (might lift that, wholesale, to the second draft), although the phrasing "which upsets something in the back of his mind" is... eugh.

the second, third, and fourth paragraphs' main use is to outline where linus' mindset is going, although it's clunky and off-target. i just need the reminder to write his mindset in and its vague shape, for this draft, though. if i kept any of this, the phrasing/sentence structure would need to be changed, but it's more likely that i'd scatter it through the movement and description i'd add into the second draft. my first drafts tend to be either all-internal or all-external, so my second drafts act as the equalizer.

beyond that, my second drafts also make everything... longer. so much longer. it helps me move everything from a barebones "this is what probably happens" to "this is what experts call a nice reading experience," you know? plus, i can move forward with draft one with questions still unanswered, like: i haven't actually decided how i want the narration to refer to these characters, yet. the first name vs last name vs nickname and WHEN debate is an important one, but if i got hung up on that first, i'd never actually write the damn fic itself. instead, we can get it moving.

the difference between a first and second draft might look like this for me:

Nile is in the desert.  Her boots are stiff with sand, her hands grasping her rifle, her body weary under her gear. She's marching. On the back of her tongue, she tastes blood. There's not another person around for miles. No squadmates, no commander. No civilians, no insurgents. The sun beats down on her from its place at perfect zenith. Nile stumbles to a stop, heaving for the heat. She casts about for her water, but it's not where it should be or anywhere it shouldn't be, either.

vs

Nile is never going to get out of the desert. That’s most of what she knows. There are other things, like: her boots are stiff with sand, her hands are grasping a rifle, her body is weary under her gear. She’s marching. On the back of her tongue, she tastes blood. She’s alone. From horizon to horizon, the terrain is empty of everything but herself. Her squadmates are missing, her commander absent. There are no civilians, no insurgents.  The sun beats down on her from its place at perfect zenith, millions of miles away. She stumbles to a stop, heaving for the heat. She wishes, desperate beyond words, for water, but her bottle is missing. It’s not hooked onto her vest or around her hips; she’s never spent a moment more aware of each of the trillion grains of sand that surround her, dry as dust, as in this moment.

(this fic, even the sun knows where you sleep, has been languishing as a half-finished second draft since may of last year. it's a crossover between the old guard and the sandman, where nile has a series of dreams influenced by morpheus. this is one of them) the first draft of this fic is about 5k, but the finished second draft could end up around 15k. long as hell, by my poet standards.

this second draft is lacking line edits, but bloop (my beloved sister, muah, ily, etc) helped me comb through it months ago so the proposed changes are available. the phrasing is prettier, the structure less repetitive, the imagery and setting clearer. the parts of this that are written are just a stone's throw away from being of posting quality. unfortunately, i'm also of the camp no-posting-before-completed, so it won't be.

i have a gomens fic sitting unfinished on my account because i lost steam and interest before i finished the second draft of its last chapter, which is just... so unfortunate. i'd love to finish it, and eventually i might, but i've acquired a bit of distaste for gomens in the meantime and (in the spirit of being myself and having fun) i'm not beating myself up about it. but, like, lesson learned.

back to the point: sometimes, the second draft can change more of a fic (warning for non-graphic violence):

Nile is standing at the window at the top of Merrick's skyscraper, Andy's labrys in hand.  The window is shattered again, though there's no other proof of their battle that Nile can sense. Andy is nowhere to be seen, nor is Merrick. Nile doesn't look down through the window, but she knows there's no crushed car or mutilated body, either. There is Nile, standing at the shattered edge, weathering the sharp breeze snapping against her. There is the ax in her hand, the wooden handle rough. Grainy. It hasn't been smoothed by use or through craftsmanship and Nile can feel splinters bite into her grip.  The wood is hot, she realizes suddenly – not skin-warm, but the type of hot that comes from holding something porous as it burns and vents heat through places yet untouched by the flame. In panic, she raises her head to find the source and is blinded, completely. The shock of it is such that she stops moving entirely and blinks, uncomprehending – the sun.

vs

Nile is standing in the moment before the fall. The precipice.  She’s at the top of Merrick’s tower again. Behind her lies a cold and empty room, made more of shadow than substance. She knows that she is supposed to continue through – see the moment to its end – but she has been given the opportunity to pause, as time comes to a standstill. Some things have changed; Andy and Merrick are missing. The evidence of their fighting is gone, except that the window is already shattered. A cold wind rushes through the absence, knocking sharp teeth against her body, frozen in its lunge forward toward empty space. In her fist is the labrys that should be cutting into the meat of Merrick’s shoulder. Nile can feel the tackiness of blood in her grip on the wooden handle. She wonders at the grainy texture caught beneath it, surprised that time nor craftsmanship hasn’t smoothed it over, before she understands that this is not Andy’s handle. Instead, the roughly-hewn lumber extends from the floor to a place over her head to become a sort of halberd, its point on the floor supporting most of her weight.  It's hot, too – not skin-warmth, but the type of heat that comes from holding a porous item as it’s being consumed by fire, venting heat out through places yet untouched by flame. Nile isn’t injured by the blister of it, but the sensation of burning without pain unnerves her and she raises her gaze to find the blade and the flame. Only, she doesn’t make it that far. Lifting her face out of her hunched position brings it to look toward the window, where she discovers the opposite of Merrick’s abyssal building as it inundates her: an immense deluge of light.

there's a lot more definitive changes to structure, phrasing, and imagery here than in my last snippet. i do, in a literal sense, go through and rewrite each word of my fic between drafts, but how many of those words are carried over from the first to the second can vary depending on the quality of the draft. it's way easier for me to rework a pre-existing piece than make something, wholesale, which i'm well aware of and try to cater to. this is the method that's seen my writing improve the most, even though i think it's wildly impractical and unwieldy. i've even done it with this exact post, which part of why it's taking me so long to finish it!

i'm trying something new with the process on the hrpf, since it's been giving me so much trouble. the theme's changed a bit, with a wider scope and something specific to say, but i also want to incorporate a social media/journalism/outsider's perspective element, which will let me move around outside of the characters' narrations while establishing the wider world of the au. this new step is as close to a zero-draft as i've gotten, even though it's still way less detailed. it looks like this:

MOST VIOLENT VS MOST AMIABLE GOALIES TO NEST IN THE NHL listicle Sway and Linus discuss nesting, Linus has settled into a pattern Could gentle-nester ullmark be a calming influence over swayman or will he dull his edge? speculative piece, focus more on the first option maybe to contrast the move towards understanding anger. Bruins vs buffalo, ullmark in net (dec. 7 game? If the timeline for that works), linus is upset at the loss/it goes bad somehow. Sway is supportive in a more assertive way than typical. It doesn’t start here but it turns here Can’t decide if tweets or something would be good here Internal, staff-only memo advising to keep sway away from linus when he’s feeling broody.

each line represents a separate 'chunk' of the fic. with the added elements, i need to know what will go where so that i can make sure the storytelling tracks throughout. i'm still on this part of the draft, but i'm having a good time with it again which is what i think is most important.

anyway, thank you for asking!! i definitely love to talk about writing! i'm always sooo down to chat, too, except for maybe right now because i am going to pass out asleep i think. <3!!!!!!

#answered ask #experiencing the horrors of this british literature class but we keep going!!!! #<- this was uhm ten hours ago i am in bed now. #sorry if you didn't want to hear about rpf. that's where im at tho

[n3onstarss]

From Eden

Relationship: Raphael x Otherkin!Reader

Romantic or Platonic?: Romantic

Reader type: I'm projecting okay?, shut up.

Potential TW for species dysphoria? might as well bring it up for anybody who needs it! ♡

It was relaxing, peaceful almost. My giant mutant turtle boyfriend and I laid sprawled on our bed in our apartment. My back to the headboard and his head in my lap. It was late at night, rain pittering weakly against the window and roof, reflecting the dim glow of the moon and the bright city lights around the room. We were both on our phones, 'parallel play' as I called it and 'together alone time' as he did.

One earbud sat within my too-human ear at the moment, playing my favorite Hozier album (Hozier (Deluxe Edition) 2014) while a drone filmed scenic video was playing in the upper right hand corner of my screen. The rest of the screen was occupied by whatever website I was on at the moment to help with the feeling or distract me from it. Meditation instructions, animal or movie facts about my kintypes, even Tumblr possessed the space from time to time.

After what felt like days but was only about two hours i let out a defeated groan before finally dropping my phone to the side, resting my head against the wall behind me and putting my spine in a weird position when it molded around the headboard. my body feels too human, i need to go swim or sprint or just.. fuck, i don't know!

At the disturbance of the peace Raph raises his head from my lap, moving to rest his weight on one elbow and pause his music with the other.

"You good dear?" The concern in his voice only makes it worse as i sink into what i wish was a graceful puddle, but was really a mess of limbs.

".. Yeah, all good!" I respond hesitantly, a thumbs up emerging from the tangle before deflating again.

"You're a damn awful liar, love. What's wrong?"

His large hands gently cup my face as he looms over me. It would seem intimidating to anybody else, a giant, spiky, mutant turtle looming over you like the grim reaper, but his gentle words and touch were actually gonna make me cry.

"Oughhhh.... dysphoria." I finally spit out the word, sinking further down. I don't notice the confusion on Raph's face, but I don't need to when he speaks again.

"What kind?"

He sits up some, forcing him to move his hands so he doesn't squish me to death. I gladly take the opportunity to cover my face with my forearms and squeeze my eyes closed. asking for help was always deemed pathetic to me, either through action or words. this feels stupid. too vulnerable. vulnerability gets you killed out there. but.. we're not out there. i never will be. not in the way i need to deep in my soul.

".. species."

"Eugh. that one's the worst, huh?"

a muffled 'mhm' was the most i could manage. Everything felt wrong and i didn't wanna bring Raph into this. this isn't his problem, it's mine.

I don't get much of a choice though before he stands and scoops me up in a bridal style carry. I groan in protest and before i can say a word he's unceremoniously dropped me on the couch and moved to the TV.

I take a moment to get myself together some. Between the exhaustion and species dysphoria and the literally being dropped on a couch from, like, at least 2 feet up, I'm still a mess. Gods i need a fucking Tylenol-

"What are ya up to, genius?" I finally ask, both wanting to know what he's doing and poking the bear at the same time.

"Well, genius, if you must know-" "god you sound like Donnie right now, where's my boyfriend?" "- I'm turning on Rio and making us popcorn and sodas."

I'm kinda shell shocked by that. for, i think, at least 3 reasons. 1, That's actually super sweet what the fuck- 2, I'm not being told to suck it up? weird. and 3, he remembers my comfort movies.

I start to cry a little at that. for once, vulnerability isn't a death sentence. I'm safe with him.

I accidentally let a little tearful hiccup slip and he turns around to see what's up. Now I know for a fact I'm an ugly crier, but the ways his eyes soften when he notices and the way he stops to check breaks my heart even more, in the best possible ways.

"You okay dear? We don't have to do movies if you're not up for it. We can go to bed or cook or I can leave if that's what you need."

almost immediately i latch onto the hand that has unknowingly settled to cup my face, my head gives a little shake and for a second we know each other so well it's like we read minds or something.

"Okay, not leaving. it's okay love, you're good."

It isn't long before my tears slow and he gets up calmly. i appreciate him trying not to spook me, but after the too much of being vulnerable i want normalcy. In an instant I'm up and helping set up, padding silently on my toes into the kitchen and gathering the popcorn bucket from Christmas and the sodas. The popcorn isn't that old anyways, Draxum gifted some to everyone pretty late. He actually forgot until Splints got onto him for Mikey's sake.

Anyways, i reentered the living room with the bucket under my arm and a can in each hand. The commercials were still playing and making me feel old. apparently that was affecting us both as i watched Raph cringe when certain commercials came on. Even whispering a 'I saw that in theaters!' once or twice while I set everything down.

The movie finally begins to play as we snuggle into the other, molding nicely to each other and settling in. What is Love begins to play and I think back to all the times I've made poor Raph dance with me to it. While cooking dinner a week or two ago, at a party when it came on and i totally didn't request it, during the movie itself after we finally got together almost a year ago now. Apparently he catches me lost in thought.

"You okay?"

"Never better"

"I was joking when I said you sounded like Donnie earlier, by the way."

"I know, love, don't worry bout it"

#Me? projecting and writing again? never #anyways soecies dysphoria and school stress and kinsidering is getting to me so here's this #rise raph x reader #raphael x reader #rottmnt raph #rise raph #raph x reader #raph rottmnt #raph tmnt #raphael hamato #tmnt x reader #gender neutral s/o #but heavily implied not cis/trans #my writing #rottmnt #therianthropy mention #therianthropic reader #otherkin mention #otherkin reader #species dysphoria mention

[jabberwockprince]

Y'know what hello, how're you doin

This is a free ride to ramble about Any subject that's been plaguing you lately. Go off.

HIII NYM TY FOR THE ASK, IM DOING GOOD

just got back from a trip and I spent most of the time thinking about some obscure ass fandom I was in that just suddenly came back to my brain???????? this fucken movie out of all things came to HAUNT me

red shoes and the seven fucking dwarfs - that movie about body positivity and the pressure of being perceived as ugly in a society that values appearance over everything else and the double standards that come with that, whose marketing royally fucking sucked and made everyone think this movie hated fat ppl???? when the main character is this girl

and she loves herself and is confident and knows that people are most likely to help her when she puts on those red shoes that make her skinny. and the movie pokes fun at all those makeover / sexy protagonist moments in romcoms and shit with genuinely funny recurring gags. like its not a revolutionary movie, but its a pretty good movie with very nice rep and i just KNOW that if it came out during the time ppl were making edits of merida, jack frost, hiccup and rapunzel, they would've ADDED the twink ass love interest guy because LOOK AT HIM?

mf is so 2010's fandom bait its not even FUNNY

like i was obsessed with this movie back in 2019-2020 or so and then a few weeks ago my brain was like "didn't you have. an OC for this?" and i went to check my art folder AND YEAH. I DO HAVE AN OC FOR THIS. I DID MAKE AN OC BASED ON THE QUEEN OF HEARTS AND THE JABBERWOCK

WHY? because theres a character in the movie that is literally. Prince Average. thats his name. hes based on the hunter from snow white and hes the lamest funniest bitch in this movie. i have zero respect for this blond lanky ass twink. his VA made a GREAT job at voicing him and adlibbing his lines bc hes so very hateable in a way thats super fun. i grabbed him by the back of his stupid ass shirt and decided he was my favorite and that i was going to inflict him with infinite amounts of projection and development and depth based on two lines in the movie and a single scene in the credits sequence

and he fucking lives in THIS castle???? sir???????? SIR?????????

"how is this related in any way to your OC, Prince?"

ITS SO VERY IMPORTANT TO ME THAT EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS I LOVE DYSFUNCTIONAL HOMOSEXUALS WHO ARE AWFUL PATHOLOGICAL LIARS, IMMATURE AND SHITTY, AND FULL OF EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE THEY INSIST ON IGNORING TO THE POINT WHERE YOU CANT TRUST THEM WITH THE NARRATIVE BC THEYRE TWISTING EVERY LITTLE THING TO WHATEVER IS CONVENIENT TO THEM.

AND ??? I JUST HAVE. ALL THIS ART ABOUT THEM. AND THEN 5 DOCS DETAILING SO MUCH SHIT ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND HISTORY AND PARALLELS AND MOTIFS ???

and then i got possessed to rewrite an old ass fanfic about them and i dont even know how i got here i havent thought about this fucking movie in a year or so

long story short i love latching onto Some Fucking Guy that is Painfully My Type and making him into my own little OC. everyone consider watching the movie, it rlly is pretty funny lmfao

#im not even done talking about them i have thoughts and opinions and so much shit in my brain #do i think about the relationship of two guys who met each other at their most honest. and who drifted apart so violently #that the idea of reuniting is painful bc it means allowing the one person that had faith in them to see how they ended up #anyway. they were also meant to kill each other but we dont have to talk about that #fellas is it gay to befriend the person who was meant to kill you. become codependent of each other. ghost each other for 10 years #and then have the universe force you two back together to break a curse bc even though you guys no longer recognize each other #youre still the only people who actually KNOW the other. in the whole world. the ONE person who tolerates your ass #they cant stand each other. they can pretty much read each others minds. theyre divorced. theyre obsessed. they deserve each other

[thewalkingdeadband]

Sort of random review for ftwd s8 ep 6 (spoilers ahead)

Things that made me ugly cry:

- "i will leave this message every morning at down" the parallel i swear

- "I need you to look after Grace for me"

I mean just the fact that he buried Grace near Eastman.. 💔

- the whole speech to Eastman, how much he's grateful for him, the little smile he gave his grave while Mo was training with the stick, like "see how good she is?"

"They are people that means as much to me as you all do", i m so happy he said that 💚

And the worst: "need to make sure they are ok"

Well, well.. 😭

and then you see the people he lost in a flashback montage, AND IT INCLUDED BENJAMIN😭

Yet he doesnt even know abt Henry😭

Finch dying, i f....king hate it. He was such an angel.

Dwight and Sherry over, "maybe we're just not meant to be together", "maybe us failing has nothing to do with bad guys like Negan" he says, its awful, it hurts, i mean he did everything to find her, and then they dont work out. F... off, really, im mad. I get that Finch dying didnt help (fucking understatement), but this is a guy who fought so much for her and now he's giving up and well, its been more than 8 years plus the time spent together before the apocalypse so yeah its unfortunately realistic or at least it can be. Love doesnt always last. What hurts is that you know they still love each other. But love isnt always enough. They tried. More than once. But it hurts. Really hurts. Just like real life...

Ok, so abt Lennie interview, i guess i fell for a trap. I used to say i dont listen what actors say good or bad, and here i was falling for this trap: now, which trap: interview trap or "teasing that will never led to somewhere trap", i guess we will see

Madison taking over Padre, hell yeah. Can u imagine that 2 seasons ago she was supposed to be dead?

Is it Troy, is it Alicia's arm?

Now, we saw with Madison (and Troy?) that everything's possible so... im sure Alicia's alive. Hope they reunite.

And Strand...

One last thing: farewell Morgan, i will always love you, but you better come back on my screen and reunite with Rick and everyone, and the sooner the better

Edit: and or course... when he says abt Rick and him that it wouldnt be the first time they find their way back to each other... 😭

#ftwd season 8 ep 6 #all i see is red #morgan jones #grace mukherjee #baby mo #yes she's still baby mo to me #dwight and sherry #finch #time for Madison to shine now #fear the walking dead spoilers

[oddishblossom]

Tagged by @mdzs-rabbithole + @kimievii 💖 thank you both for tagging me! i’ve been falling behind on tag games so apologies for responding so late 😚

Favorite Color: Red & Pink

Currently reading: My attention span is so bad i’m physically incapable of reading a new book right now hahaha. but i can still read fanfics. there’s this really good one i’ve been reading called All He’ll See is Me by skyl_tales…. you can blame the kenobi show for my fixation here

Last song: …Besame by Ricardo Montaner. i know i listen to the SAPPIEST love songs ever I KNOW.

Last movie: I watched like half of white chicks a few days ago? i really haven’t been seeing a lot of movies lately

Last series: The 1999 telenovela from Colombia: Yo Soy Betty, La Fea (I’m Betty, the Ugly Girl)!! i just finished all 149 episodes a few days ago and UGH it’s SUCH a wonderful story!! 💖 i think this is where my love for angsty, painful, slow burn love stories started (i watched this for the first time when i was a kid but it’s been a while). the writing is so well done! i’m constantly wowed by the transition of scenes, the parallels and symbolism, and how the characters are written is driving me to want to write meta. it is 23 years old so there is stuff in the show that hasn’t aged well 😅. it’s about the rise of a woman who suffers through so much pain and abuse, but jumps to the highest position at her work and learns how to love herself; and the fall of her boss/love interest, a man who has it all, loses it all, ruins his own life, and learns how to love for the first time ever (and the process of him falling in love is not pretty. it’s like watching a stubborn baby deer try to walk and fall on his own face time and time again) and like…. the transformation these two characters undergo from episode 1 to 149 is amazing. seeing such a kind shy woman go on a vengeful journey of hate and seeing such a womanizing asshole slowly, slowly lose his mind and then gain a heart was spectacular. Ferrnando Gaitan (rest in peace) wrote an incredible story and i can’t stop thinking about it… 🥺💖

Currently working on: Oh, many things! My brain’s a bit of a jumbled mess and isn’t content unless if i’m juggling several projects at once 💔. My bingqiu fic is still my #1 priority. But Ch 4 has been giving me pacing issues, so I’m working on the outline for Ch 14 instead. One day I’ll finish it. Also working on various gifsets (the next one i finish is gonna be for shen qingqiu) aaaand working on some edits because i want to get better at video editing :)

Tagging: Leaving this tag open! If you see this and want to make one too, please go for it and say i tagged you 💖

#tag game #i really rambled when it got to my last series didn’t i? #oh! another one i recently started is /extraordinary attorney woo #i’m only on episode 8 but it’s so hecking cute i have already cried a couple times

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Harry exposing the industry when he was under Sony, but being free when he signed his new soloist contract while being still with Sony.

Harry showing his well known tattoos inspired by GM to point at the documentary of that man (with whom he has many parallels to be related with) to then realize the documentary involves, of course, Sony.

Harry being thrown into this PR mess AGAIN, to the lion’s den (as it happened back in 2021 during lockdown) right after his recent interview mentioned how reputation is important for an artist.

Its like saying “yes…” while shaking your head, being “saved” by his actual team, that keeps him relevant in the media by risking his reputation. Being attached to Sony (voluntarily? Forced?) still.

Can you see this incoherences? Because as much as I want to be supportive of Harry and his best interests (whatever those are, since we never get the entire picture in the present) I am not sure if I am standing on the good ones side or not. I trust him… but Am I helping out this to happen by being a fan?? If I see these being by his side, loving him to bits, I can’t imagine what this could turn out to be… this is an ugly game that yeah its successful on popularity but it sucks on humanity.

EDIT: I did not understand the question because I am dumb, read this instead.

Okay, maybe my brain is just tired, so maybe I’m not fully understanding what you’re saying, but is the point you’re trying to make that Harry is both exposing Sony while still benefitting from the work they do to sustain his career?

If it is, all I have to say is: yes, because that’s the real world.

I’ve noticed a lot this very flat, black and white take — as though being entirely pure and good and wholesome in every single context under every single circumstance, and never ever ever bowing to reality or pressure or money or fame, never taking advantage of any privilege or opportunity that isn’t entirely devoid of ethical question, is the defining factor of what makes a good person.

And what I have to say to that is - if those are your standards, good for you. But I highly doubt you’ll find anyone, dead or alive, who lives up to them. Including yourself.

I work in a sector who’s backbone is altruism. Everyone I work with believes deep in their gut that they are doing the absolute best for the world and for mankind. And even in a sector like mine, that is built entirely on “doing good”, people make big and small ethical concessions because pragmatism is what is required to function in this reality.

There are no good guys, hon. Only people, who do the best they can to do the right thing. I believe Harry is one of those people.

#iaw ask #iaw anonymous #I’m not sure what to even tag this

[sylvanas-girlkisser]

Wait wait I'm confused. What do "orc-sized cocks" have to do with black man being killed? Is there some missing context here?

I will admit there's a lot of background knowledge required to see the issue with that particular phrase, as it is, sorta incidentally a culmination of a lot of other issues which, especially if you're from a white and/or sheltered upbringing you might be blind to.

Content warning for discussions of rape and racism.

So, first of all black men have long been (and still are) fetishized as powerful, animalistic and hyper sexual; epitomized through the idea that black men all have abnormally large penises. Intelexual has a really good video about this topic which unfortunately is only available on her patreon, but you can watch the teaser to get a brief rundown of the topic HERE.

This myth about black male sexual prowess has long been used as a way to enact violence upon black men by white people. For example during the time of slavery, white women caught having sex with or straight up raping their slaves would use this myth to paint themselves as victims of the black man's aggression to preserve their "purity" when in reality they of course held ALL the power in the relationship. Similarly, white men would attempt to "prove" their "masculine superiority" over the supposed inherent animalistic masculinity of black men; through acts like castration, buck breaking, and raping married black men's wives. Khadija Mbowe talks a lot about this, such as in THIS VIDEO.

Later a black man having raped a white woman became the go to excuse to justify lynchings, an excuse you still see carry over to this day with the way white (womens) tears are used to weaponize the police against black people. As well as a number of tropes found in interracial and cuckoldry porn.

I feel like it should go without saying but black men aren't genetically predisposed to having incredibly large genitalia (black male sex workers oftentimes wear prosthetic dicks, in order to adhere to the fantasy desired by white audiences).

What does any of this have to do with orcs you ask? Well orcs as a type of fantasy creature, were invented by Tolkien and portrayed (by Tolkien's own admission) using anti-Asian imagery of the time (as well as industrialized imagery more on that later). They were portrayed as short, ugly, cowardly, violent and with a taste for raw meat.

That's a pretty far call from the modern incarnation of orcs, which originated with the hugely (and I cannot emphasize this enough HUGELY) racist creator of DnD: Gary Gygax. He popularized the image of orcs as large, muscular, violent, dimwitted, sexually aggressive creatures with low brows, wide lips and deep voices; who live in tribes and survive by raiding "civilized" cultures. It was only in FIFTH EDITION, they stopped including a line in the half-orc racial description about how the majority of half-orcs are the product of male orcs raping human women.

If you feel like there can be drawn pretty clear parallels between orcs, and racist representations of African cultures, there's a reason for that: Gygax was a completely unapologetic racist. Again, before Gygax, orcs were not tribal, they were industrialist, living in barracks and destroying the environment to fuel their warmachine. LegalKimchi has a really good video about the racism inherent in DnD (and DnD adjacent) worldbuilding, which you can find HERE.

And a lot of the authors that came after Gygax might not have been quite as bad, but they replicated these tropes in order to represent an inherently evil culture so you know, lets not pretend that the fantasy genre for most of its life time hasn't been OVERWHELMINGLY white.

Which brings us back to the infamous "orc sized penis". Because the issue is very specifically with the lack of contextualization in the story in question. The line is dropped off-handedly as the first reference to orcs in the story, with the only context being that it is larger than a large human penis. We have no other knowledge about orcs at this point in the story, it is not expected that we will need more knowledge; that we can use our genre knowledge to extrapolate from this one line what orcs will be in this story - I.E. a stand-in for white womens fetishization of black male bodies, that gives you an easy shield if people accuse you of racism.

Also, lets not pretend that white sapphic communities are immune to this kind of fetishization either, just because it doesn't map one to one on to sapphic material. We have all seen that kind™ of Fareeha Amari content.

Sidenote but speaking of fetishization of black women, Tee Noir has a really good video about that topic, though again mostly focused on heterosexual relationship. You can watch it HERE.

#valk replies #This got very long sorry #i did say it was a complex topic

[luxshine]

Ok. So... I've been sick and under a lot of Antibiotics. Like, seriously a lot.

The good ones too, as omg, the dreams. I will probably share them all with you at some point (Especially Law and Order: Random Kitten Edition) but there's one, that I actually took notes when I woke up from, that was so weird that I just have to share it with you guys.

Because my FEVERISH AND DRUG ADDLED Brain gave me "Harry Potter: The UNFUCKED edition" where I *think* most if not all of the really ugly parts got fixed.

To begin with a bang, Harry is not white. He is of hindi descent, from his Mom's side so Petunia and his cousin are also not white. Vernon is white, but when it comes to cultural stuff, he bows to Petunia. So his family celebrates Diwali, Makar Sankrati, Maha Shivarati, Holi... the works. There's also a lot, and I mean a LOT of cow decorations around the house.

He is also not bullied or mistreated by the Dursleys. They are VERY strict at the beginning, yes, especially Vernon who spends most of Harry's early childhood trying to keep him "normal" because he keeps saying that the nail that stands out, gets the hammer. But there's no treating Harry like a slave, he and Duddu, which was Dudley's name here (and latter google told me it was an hindu name meaning Love of sun which... wow feverish brain, WHERE did you get that trivia fact?) have a more sibling-like relationship. Harry FEELS like his life is boring and wishes something happened to him, and REALLY wishes Vernon didn't just knocked out anything that sounded like fun or different, but he is not abused.

Hermione is black, and of course, this puts her fight for the House Elves in a completely different light (AND this time, it sticks and it's not treated like a silly little thing)

Ron and the Weasleys are the same, only that because the Dursleys are not abusive, they actually become somewhat friendly at first, until Vernon loses his patience at how Arthur treats non wizards as clever little monkeys and puts him in his place. After that, they actually become friends.

The BIG change at first? Draco is not sorted in Slytherin, but in Ravenclaw, which immediately makes him a pariah to all Slytherins (aka. all his childhood friends) AND makes Lucious literally disown him via howler. Long story short, this ends up with the trio befriending him too, and becomes an arc about nurture vs. nature, this is, children are NOT evil, but they are taught to be evil and if you put all the death eater children in the exact same house? Well, it's an echo chamber and they all will grow up to be death eaters! Draco breaks free thanks to the hat sending him away. He also is the first one to help Hermione with the elves, by pointing out that sure, everyone will tell her that the elves like being slaves because the elves says so... BECAUSE they know that they will be punished if they say otherwise. So they try a different route to help free the elves which include all the non wizard born students revolting and going to help to the kitchen to wash dishes and so, as they do in their homes. At some point Dumbledore went to scold Hermione for forcing her classmates to do that, to which Hermione replied, in the kitchen, full of house elves "Ok, show of hands. Who is FORCED to be here?" and of course no one, not the house elves, nor the children, raised their hands. I liked that scene, especially as they laughed their hearts out once Dumbledore was gone.

Oh, Dobby ended up hired by Vernon to be Duddu's bodyguard instead of going back to Hogwarts. He and Petunia got along amazingly in the kitchen.

Gremlins were not jewish caricatures (no hooked noses and big ears, more like sweddish gnomes) and they are not betrayed by Harry -who, half hindu, understands the whole "uk took our treasures and called them theirs".

I remember Sirius didn't die, and that there were more werewolves so it avoided the HIV parallel with a pedophile evil, but unfortunately, I don't remember the exact details of that.

But what I DO remember is that, because of the little changes of the foursome being more kind to everyone, trying to understand others and understanding that the problem was not just voldemort but the system that created him? The battle at Hogwarts included ALL the mystical creatures from the get go. The elves went willingly to defend THEIR children (The ones who didn't treat them as slaves), the goblins were there too because hey, Voldemort was a treat to everyone. Centaurs, giants, and so on. The only ones that didn't join the fight? Slytherin because uhm... they were on the other side.

Most importantly? The Non wizard parents joined in too. (No "Oh, I will send my bewtiched parents to Australia" here). With guns, and knives, and you do NOT want to be between a hooligan and their children, becuase they will HURT you more than crucio. And the one who killed Voldie? VERNON DURSLEY with a Hunting Rifle.

Because you may have all the magic in the world, but that ain't shit against a lead bullet to the brain. (And this non evil Vernon was NOT going to let his nephew be treated like a goat for sacrifice as Dumbledore wanted)

In the epilogue that is just 2 years later, not ten, yes, McGonagall is headmistress but we get actual change. Slytherin as a house is dismantled, and a new fourth house is created. Slughorn the humble. Why Slughhorn? because he was the one who realized he was wrong, he changed his ways, and he became a better person. And that takes humility, and that is important. Harry wants to become either a healer or a teacher, all the house elves in Hogwarts are free and now work with a salary, vacation days, and the works. The goblins are no longer treated as second class citizens as Arthur Weasley, new minister of magic, changes those laws, to allow them to have wands, and have whichever work they want, not just banking, and there are at least four goblins working now in the minister, same as house elves. Because they need to have their voices heard.

And that was about when I woke up, and how the hell did my fever addled brain came up with so much, when miss Terf couldn't be bothered to even explain why "we don't tell muggles about magic because then they would want to do everything with magic" is a logical sentence in a world where we NEVER see a wizard NOT do something incredibly simple without using magic?

#fever dreams #about that franchise that should not be named #it would have been so easy to fix #yes #the boy who lived #the non racist edition

[seance]

Hello! I hope you don't mind me asking, but how do you come up with your gif compositions? They're always so pretty and they fit together perfectly! They never look messy even when you incorporate a lot of things into them.

Hello dear one 🥺 this is so sweet of you to say, i don't know if you realize how huge of a compliment this is for me sdgsd- i'm pretty self conscious about my blending but the thing is, there's no right way to do it! i actually like it more messy right now than i did a few years ago, if you scroll back through my edit tag you'll see how much it changed as i experimented more with different styles.

Most of it is just about choosing the right scenes and that'll come with experience. Once you get the basics down (eg. it's usually easier to blend two scenes that have similar lighting, or that at least are both dark/both light even tho a white background is a bitch to work with, that you can manipulate some of this shadow/light balance through curves etc.) it's really just a matter of training the eye to put together things you think would work well!

Don't think I don't spend time, sometimes hours, on this when I gif! Sometimes it's easier, I think visually so when I get an idea for a gifset I usually already know more or less which scenes i want to blend but the grunt of the work is done mid-photoshopping. When it's something like TUA, which i'll admit i basically know scene-by-scene so it's almost like scrolling through a pictures album, I can speed up the process, other times it takes a little more trial and error.

In my latest gifset for example, I knew I wanted the 6th gif to have that one scene of Allison and Viktor and I knew I wanted to pair it with Klaus and Ben. But I didn't know which one would work better since I had to manipulate colors quite a bit to create enough space for the blending not to look ugly. I tried a few ones out and then decided a wider shot would work better because I wouldn't need to worry about faces becoming indistinct. For the 9th gif I made the decision to use that Klaus, Diego, Five scene even if it doesn't look really good and it was difficult to color purely because I wanted the parallel with the words to work that way. Here on the other end, i created all my black spaces just using shapes that were already in the gifs, enhancing the shadows and painting over the lighter points.

Always remember you can also experiment with perspective! I almost never keep the scenes at the same size, depending on where I want the attention to go first. So play around! Resize them, put them upside down, look at the shadows, can they work as a frame for my second/third gif? And if not who says I can't take a black brush and create those spaces myself? So really, it's just about practice as everything else is but also if you're just starting and want to focus on the technical part without spending time looking up scenes, it's not a bad idea to write them down as you watch them, if they caught your attention! I used to do this all the time, i have tons of journals with just lists upon lists of scene I liked and gif ideas lmao

As I always say, this should be fun but it's also a creative outlet, at least for me! So treat it as such, with the passion and the lightness it deserves ♥

#replies #anonymous #text #this was honestly really emotional for me to read!! #composition is the thing i enjoy the most to work on #and it's also the first thing i notice in people's gifsets! #such a fun experience all around

[softbadass]

my biggest unpopular opinion has to be sailor moon crystal is better than sailor moon 90s anime.

like there's some things 90s added that were so much better for storytelling, like usagi begging to transform into super sailor moon to save hotaru, the redemption of the spectre sisters, some villains' personalities, but i watched the black moon arc yesterday and man. just to name a small, brief example. the development and care put into chibiusa's character, making her parallel sailor moon's biggest pain when mamoru got killed by the dark kingdom with the death of sailor pluto, her first and only friend and her awakening as a soldier and releasing out the silver crystal out of her tears just like her mom... man. it made black lady's "redemption" in the 90s look stupid and silly.

when chibiusa she says she met her mom in the past and she was surprised she was not the perfect queen but she was a crybaby, who got yelled out, just like her, and it inspired her into thinking she could, in the future become a queen too... the way it can also reflect the way many girls feel after watching sailor moon... many people hate chibiusa and i too found her annoying thanks to the mischaracterization the 90s did to her (and so many characters) and now she's become one of my favorite characters. WOW. love a lot how they follow the manga so much and seeing naoko's art being beautifully brought to life with music, animation and colors really put things in a better perspective to me.

i wish people saw beyond the "ugly art style" that isn't even ugly: like every animation ever it was some wonky/low quality moments. the art style isn't even my fav either (the best art style for SMC is the one from infinity arc and i will DIE on this hill) but it's not as wonky as people make it out to be. lot of the screen shots that look weird are because they're frames when the animation is moving and some are even edited for the love of god lmao.

to me crystal does not deserve the hate it has (it totally deserved toei getting bashed for not putting enough effort, yes, but it doesn't deserve the hate because it's actually GOOD)

#i can complain so much more about how sailor moon crystal is wonderful #Sailor Moon #Sailor Moon crystal