#unseen academicals

[mortispoxi]

Pratchett trying to shoehorn in a romantic partner for Drumknott at the end of Unseen Academicals is honest very funny in retrospect because the lad shows up two more times before the series concludes and is still romantically unattached which implies that despite Vetinari and Margolotta’s best efforts to play matchmaker something must’ve gone so wildly wrong that it made the two of them not want to engage with each other any further.

So because of this oversight, my headcanon is that when Drumknott and Miss Healstether had their little rendezvous they argued over who had the better filing method which ended in Vetinari and Margolotta having to physically separate and restrain them to keep them from killing each other. It’s the first and only time Vetinari ever had to reprimand Drumknott in his entire career all because he bit Margolotta’s librarian during the altercation. However, deep down he was more than a bit amused watching two mild mannered individuals throw hands over a ring binder so it was more of a halfhearted, “don’t do it again,” kind of scolding.

#discworld #unseen academicals #rufus drumknott #havelock vetinari #lady margolotta #miss healstether #gnu terry pratchett #Drumknott definitely got his ass beat by Healstether but he put up a valiant effort #lots of hair pulling/scratching/roundhouse kicking/biting #miss healstether doing more of the kicking in this instance #Drumknott’s fighting style is more screaming and flailing much to the chagrin of his boss #Vetinari probably ordered some of the dark clerks to start self defense training with Drumknott #meanwhile lady Margolotta is disappointed her librarian beat the snot out of another guy she tried setting her up with #miss healstether has no regrets #mp

[pratchettquotes]

"One has to move with the times, of course," said the Patrician, shaking his head.

"We tend not to, over the road," said Ridcully. "It only encourages them."

"People do not understand the limits of tyranny," said Vetinari, as if talking to himself. "They think that because I can do what I like I can do what I like. A moment's thought reveals, of course, that this cannot be so."

"Oh, it is the same with magic," said the Archchancellor. "If you flash spells around like there's no tomorrow, there's a good chance that there won't be."

Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

#havelock vetinari #mustrum ridcully #unseen academicals #discworld #terry pratchett #power #magic #politics #academia #tyrant #restraint #self control #limitations #vetinari for democracy #moving with the times #like there's no tomorrow

[p4nishers]

"Your father loved you, did he not?’

‘Wot?’ Trev’s face reddened.

‘He loved you, took you to the football, shared a pie with you, taught you to cheer for the Dimmers? Did he hold you on his shoulders so that you could see more of the game?’

‘Stop talkin’ about my dad like that!’

Glenda took Trev’s arm. ‘It’s okay, Trev, it’s all right, it’s not a nasty question, really it isn’t!’

‘But you hate him, because he became a mortal man, dying on the cobbles,’ said Nutt, picking up another undribbled candle.

‘That is nasty,’ said Glenda. Nutt ignored her.

‘He let you down, Mister Trev. He wasn’t the small boy’s god. It turned out that he was only a man.’

Unseen Academicals, Terry Pratchett

#i. what. i. WHAT?????? #gnu terry pratchett #discworld #unseen academicals #quotes #book quotes

[thesustainedworldatransverse]

To Ponder's relief, light dawned on Ridcully's huge face. "Oh, you mean he was like Professor Hayden. We used to have a name for him..." Ponder braced himself. "Snakes. Very keen on them, you know. Could talk for hours about snakes with a side order of lizards. Very keen." "I'm glad you feel like that, Archchancellor, because I know that a number of the students–" "And then there was old Postule, who was in the rowing team. Coxed us through two wonderful years." Ponder's expression did not change, but for a few moment his face went pink and shiny. "A lof of that sort of thing about, apparently," said Ridcully. "People make such a fuss. Anyway, in my opinion there's not enough love in the world. Besides, if you didn't like the company of men you wouldn't come here in the first place, I say!"

Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

Ridcully being an ally. I suppose that makes the Unseen University an LGBT+ positive institution?

#Discworld #Terry Pratchett #GNU Terry Pratchett #Unseen Academicals #Unseen University #Mustrum Ridcully #Ponder Stibbons #lgbt #lgbtiqa+

[offonaherosjourney]

This scene from Unseen Academicals is why I fully believe that the student body of the Unseen University has to be like 90% Not Straight™.

I mean... 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

#shhh lemme have this headcanon #happy pride to bengo macarona and all the gay wizards #discworld #unseen academicals #terry pratchett #gnu terry pratchett #nym's posts

[helenvader]

I am not that thrilled about the football plot of Unseen Academicals, but there are so many gems in the book. Here we have Lord Veterinary 🤣 who did his homework on the subject at hand so well that it makes everybody speechless (no news), and the last part is just... glorious.

--

At which point someone tried to slap Vetinari on the back. It happened with remarkable speed and ended possibly even faster than it began, with Vetinari still seated in his chair with his beer mug in one hand and the man’s wrist gripped tightly at head height. He let go and said, ‘Can I help you, sir?’

‘You’re that Lord Veterinary, ain’t ya? I seed you on them postage stamps.’

Ridcully glanced up. Some of Lord Vetinari’s clerks were briskly heading towards them, along with some of the slurred speaker’s friends, who could be defined at this point as people who were slightly more sober than he was and right now were sobering up very, very fast, because when you have just slapped a tyrant on the back you need all the friends you can get. Vetinari nodded at his gentlemen, who evaporated back into the crowd, and then he snapped his fingers at one of the waiters.

‘A chair here, please, for my new friend.’

‘Are you sure?’ said Ridcully, as a chair was pushed under the man who, by happy coincidence, was falling backwards in any case.

‘I mean,’ said the man, ‘everary one saysh you’re a bit of a wnacker, but I saysh you’re awright over thish football fing. ’Sno future in jus’ shlogging away. I should know, I got kicked inna head quite a few times.’

‘Really?’ said Lord Vetinari.

‘And what is your name?’

‘Swithin, shir,’ said the man.

‘Any other name, by any chance?’ said Vetinari.

‘Dustworthy,’ he said. He raised a finger in a kind of salute. ‘Captain, the Cockbill Boars.’

‘Ah, you aren’t having a good season,’ said Vetinari. ‘You need fresh blood in the squad, especially since Jimmy Wilkins got put into the Tanty after eating someone’s nose. Naphill walked all over you because you lost your backbone when both of the Pinchpenny brothers were taken to the Lady Sybil, and you’ve been stuck down in the mud for three seasons. Okay, everyone says that Harry Capstick is making a very good showing since you bought him from Treacle Mine Tuesday for two crates of Winkle’s Old Peculiar and a sack of pork scratchings, which is not bad for a man with a wooden leg, but there’s never anyone in support.’

A circle of silence spread outwards from Vetinari and the swaying Swithin. Ridcully’s mouth had dropped open and Henry’s brandy glass remained half empty, an unusual occurrence for a glass that’s been in the hands of a wizard for more than fifteen seconds.

‘Also, I’m hearing that your pies are leaving a lot to be desired, such as dead, cooked, organic content,’ continued Vetinari. ‘Can’t get the Shove behind you when the pies are seen to walk about.’

‘My ladsh,’ said Swithin, ‘are the besht there ish. It’sh not their fault they’re up againsht better people. They never getsh a chance to play shomeone they can beat. They alwaysh gives it one hundred and twenty pershent and you can’t give more than that. Anyhow, how come you know all this shtuff ? It’s not like we’re big in the league.’

‘Oh, I take an interest,’ said Vetinari. ‘I believe that football is a lot like life.’

‘There ish that, shir, there ish that. You does your besht and then shomeone kicksh you inna fork.’

‘Then I strongly advise you to take an interest in our new football,’ said Vetinari, ‘which will be about speed, skill and thinking.’

‘Oh, yeah, right, I can do all them,’ said Swithin, at which point he fell off his chair.

‘Does this poor man have any friends here?’ said Vetinari, turning to the crowd.

There was some diffidence among them concerning whether or not it was a good idea to be friends with Swithin at this point.

Vetinari raised his voice: ‘I would just like a couple of people to take him back to his home. I would like them to put him to bed and see that no trouble comes to him. Perhaps they ought to stay with him until morning too, because he just might try to commit suicide when he wakes up.’

#discworld #pratchett quotes #unseen academicals #havelock vetinari #being havelock vetinari

[spamuelsonofspamothy]

Reread Unseen Academicals recently and I've been thinking about that scene towards the end between Nutt and Ladyship and Vetinari. More after the break because there are spoilers.

So, Nutt's an orc. Everyone knows that orcs are savage beasts that tear people's heads off, and Margolotta is desperately trying to make sure he comes up "civilized". Thematically, there's links to the Uberwald League of Temperance, which was at least partially her project, since Margolotta's taking a non-human race famous among humans for being evil, dangerous, and generally bad news and trying to reform it. Her instruction for Nutt to "teach [the remaining wild orcs] civilized behavior" follows naturally from her attempts to do the same with vampires.

And then Nutt fires back with, "And who would you send to teach the humans?"

He earns a "brief outburst of laughter" from Vetinari, which is usually reserved for Vimes. There's no mention of Margolotta's direct reaction, but for the last few lines she's been described as "taken aback" and "[saying something] coldly", so she can't be too amused by this comment. But why is she so unimpressed with Nutt's asides about humans?

It's because, for all she tried, his situation isn't actually like the Black Ribboner vampires. In that case, Margolotta more or less succeeded in making her the vampires into reasonable facsimiles of humans, although with a few weird habits. In the quest for acceptance, Margolotta believed it necessary to emulate humans, to redirect entirely the thirst for blood and control into other passions. But Nutt? He's been raised to be a human orc, to be part of the civilized world, and how does he find true acceptance and happiness?

By accepting himself not as human, but as an orc.

Nutt's comment about "teach[ing] the humans" isn't just a funny aside about human nature. Deliberate or not, it's a slap in the face to everything Margolotta's worked for since at least The Fifth Elephant. For her, humanity is a goal to aspire to; for Nutt, who's lived among the people of Ankh-Morpork and seen their moods, their mobs, their stupidity and even their kindness, humanity is an amusement.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rambling thoughts, and good night.

#discworld #gnu terry pratchett #Mr Nutt #Lady Margolotta #Lord Vetinari #unseen academicals #what does it mean to be civilized #and also Glenda's there and not to minimize her importance to Nutt's development #but my focus is on Nutt's end result as interacting with Margolotta #and at this point Glenda is less active of a character because she's had her big moments

[aeshnacyanea2000]

‘Look,’ said Rincewind, ‘a mysterious urn turns up and suddenly it’s all about football. That bodes. It means something bad is going to happen.’ ‘Come now, it could be something wonderful,’ Ridcully protested. Rincewind appeared to give this due consideration. ‘Could be wonderful, will be dreadful. Sorry, that’s how it goes.’

-- Terry Pratchett - Unseen Academicals

#Terry Pratchett #discworld quotes #GNU Terry Pratchett #quotes #Unseen Academicals #Rincewind #Mustrum Ridcully #football #mysterious urn #that bodes

[dimity-lawn]

He [Ridcully] smiled at her expression. 'What is your job, young lady? Because you are wasted in it.' It was probably meant as a compliment, but Glenda, her head so bewilderingly full of the Archchancellor's words that they were trickling out of her ears, heard herself say, 'I'm certainly not wasted, sir! You've never eaten better pies than mine! I run the Night Kitchen!' The metaphysics of real politics were not a subject of interest to most of those present, but they knew where they were with pies. She was the centre of attention already, but now it blazed with interest. 'You do?' said the Chair of Indefinite Studies. 'We thought it was the pretty girl.' 'Really?' said Glenda brightly. 'Well, I run it.' 'So who does that wonderful pie you send up here sometimes, with the cheese pastry and the hot pickle layer?' 'The Ploughman's Pie? Me, sir. My own recipe.' 'Really? How do you manage to get the pickled onions to stay so hard and crispy in the baking? It's just amazing!' 'My own recipe, sir,' said Glenda firmly. 'It wouldn't be mine if I told anyone else.' 'Well said,' said Ridcully gleefully. 'You can't go around asking craftsmen the secrets of their trade, old chap. It's a thing you just don't do. Now, I am concluding this meeting, although what it has in fact concluded I shall decide later.' —Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

#discworld #gnu terry pratchett #meme #discworld meme #created by yours truly #unseen academicals #wizards #unseen university #unseen university faculty #the chair of indefinite studies #mustrum ridcully #glenda sugarbean #unseen university staff #food/drink

[mendedrum]

Ridcully casually making gay puns (that only he understands) abt Professor Macarona though. He definitely knows where it is at 😂 Ridcully is token bisexual and deserves respect 🫡

#bengo macarona #munstrum ridcully #discworld #discworld unseen academicals #unseen university #unseen academicals #heli and discworld

[evilcatv]

yeah dunno if he's straight or gay or ace but he sure is old

#discworld #havelock vetinari #glenda sugarbean #unseen academicals

[takofukkatsumi]

"Stop Saying This Was Such A Good Fucking Book After Every Single Discworld Book" Challenge

#discworld #small gods #monstrous regiment #unseen academicals #and others but mostly those three #in reverse chronological order

[pratchettquotes]

He waited patiently until the uproar had died away. It was amazing, he thought, how people would argue against figures on no better basis than 'they must be wrong'.

Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

#ponder stibbons #unseen academicals #discworld #terry pratchett #figures #facts #statistics #argument #evidence #objections #feelings #reality #they must be wrong #amazing

[deezmrnutt]

until this scene in Unseen Academicals, I found Ridcully a bit annoying*

but then I liked his floating tin trick and decided he's cool, actually

(*because he got in the way of my granny and nanny ship @wyrdshipper)

#discworld #unseen academicals #mustrum ridcully #mr nutt is not in this scene but this is my sideblog dedicated to him so i'm tagging him anyway

[substitious-bastard]

i was abt to make a post about finishing unseen academicals and being a changed man bcs of it before realising that actually i'm always a changed man post terry prachett. my entire brain restructures to fit the themes. life irrevocably altered.

#i was especially a changed man after reading monstrous regiment #iykyk #discworld #gnu terry pratchett #unseen academicals

[cosmicrhetoric]

unseen academicals was my first practical introduction to crab theory/crab mentality ("if i can't have it neither can you") and it makes me so fucking crazy so crazy it's SO crazy to realize that you're the person who is limiting and hurting someone you truly love because you want to keep them safe and your status quo is the only safety you know. the fact that the book relates that back to model minority theory is also crazy. the other fact that the tip glenda uses to bake pickled onions into pies while keeping them fresh and crunchy actually works is also also crazy

#sorry if the pie thing was common knowledge im not british but i did try it a while ago and it worked. yaaay. #like as someone in log kya kahenge generation..........glenda was such a crazy character to read. esp cause she literally say it #she SAYS what will the neighbors think. THEE character for women who are trying not to turn into their mothers #like her yelling at margolotta like how could you make him think he's inherently worthless and the realizing what she's been doing to juliet #unseen academicals #discworld #terry pratchett #glenda sugarbean