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bitch-butter · 3 years

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(Modern!AU Webgott idea. Longish? Will eventually be called true bluish light. Tell me if this is interesting lol

Rated C for mentions of Joe's poor COVID protocol)

* * *

The blackout curtains that hung over the single window in the somewhat narrow bedroom were intensely effective, shrouding the occupants of the bed in a heavy darkness that even the daylight outside could not permeate. The still potent smell of sex lingered over the room, sweat and saliva and everything else casting a gross and homey aroma over the rumpled sheets and discarded clothing along the floor. Just around the edges of the curtain was a thin, white glow, but beyond that absent suggestion of light the room remained dark and still, as though nobody was there at all.

Pulling in a deep breath, Joe admitted he really shouldn’t have been there.

Shouldn’t have stayed the night, at least, if anything for the sake of his own reputation. He’s not typically one to go full spoons with a stranger (or, practically a stranger) no matter how good the sex had been, and he’s definitely never been one to spend the night somewhere that is not his bed. He’s spent years crafting his bed, has read actual magazine articles about how to create the best, most comfortable space, and after many years of hard work he is lucky enough to have created what many have called the Coziest Place in America. Suffice it to say, he does not like to spend a night in someone else's bed and he doesn’t think he needs to apologize for it.

This bed isn’t the worst, though.

And the guy that came with it wasn’t the worst either, he had to say. Joe had been ready to delete the app that led him to this guy and his bed, but it’s funny what a ‘ping’ on a lonely Friday night after nearly a year of no sex could do. Turns out that celibacy has made him into a fucking cuddler.

He’s not all that sorry about it. Keeping his distance from contact with other humans has handily prevented him from catching COVID thus far, and not everybody in his circle can say the same thing, as Tab had caught it first out of all of them via an ill-timed jaunt to Miami and Lip had had it twice now by virtue of his shoddy lungs and over-eagerness to lend a hand to people in his building. But a year is long, and half a bottle of cold Kim Crawford accomplished a lot at diminishing his capacity to give a shit about anything other than getting some attention on his dick. As long as the guy had sworn he tested negative, which he had, and Joe himself had tested negative, which he was, he saw no reason not to waltz into a total strangers apartment to merrily screw for as long as they both could stand to.

And it turns out this guy can stand a lot.

Joe has to admit at least half the reason he spent the night was that he actually was exhausted by the sheer voracity of their fucking. They oughta hand out medals for this shit, or something.

He finds himself smiling as he lets his mind wander over their earnestly passionate exploits of just a few hours past, and proceeds to let his eyes linger on the form of his companion. Though the room outside the warm enclosure of the blankets is a little cool the guy has one bare leg stretched out along the sheets, pressed up tightly against Joe’s own blanketed legs, with the remaining covers bundled against his chest. Resting mostly sideways on his belly, his face is turned towards Joe in sleep, mashed into the pillows and yet somehow managing to look as effortlessly gorgeous as he had looked in his photos on the app. His body moves with deep breaths, the steady inhale and exhale in combination with the sheltering warmth of the blanket nearly lulling Joe back to sleep.

Nearly.

He needed to get up, at the very least to find his phone and check the time. As carefully as he could he extracted his body from the tangle of covers, stepping lightly onto the carpet with his eyes on the other guy's face all the while, mindful not to disturb him. The night before he hadn’t even bothered to check his messages before passing out, and as such headed straight for the amorphous blob of his pants that rested just a foot away from the bed, crouching and reaching into his back pocket to grab his phone.

He hadn’t told Babe where he was going, as he’d only gathered the stones to go circa 11p.m. and he figured Babe was either asleep or performing his Getting Ready to Fuck routine and wouldn’t want to be disturbed. He almost feels sorry for Babe, who had loved the idea of dating a future doctor until this year when the sexiness of it was side-swiped by the actual danger the position entailed. As such, the Getting Ready to Fuck routine had an extra layer of manic energy to it, and Joe knew better than to try and pull Babe’s attention away from the hours preceding Gene’s rare, rare, rare visits to the apartment.

Even so, the amount of message icons he was presented with was unexpected to say the least.

He raised his eyebrows, nearly humming in interest as he noted the time. Jesus Christ, these blackout curtains are really worth their salt if it was nearly noon.

Tapping into his messages, he found a trickle of anxiety rolling down his spine.

FRI AT 11:42PM

Babe

Hey where r u?

I gotta talk to you

SAT AT 12:00AM

Babe

Are you coming back?? Srs need to talk

Feb 5 12:00AM

Missed call/Mobile

Babe

SAT AT 12:02AM

Gene Roe

Hi Joe, it’s Gene. idk if i gave you my number?

Trying to get a hold of you, call/text when you get a chance

Thanks

SAT AT 12:20AM

C h u c k

Babe is trying to find you

Feb 5 12:30AM

Missed call/Mobile

Babe

SAT AT 12:50AM

Speirs Ron

Why am i getting texts at 12:45 at night asking me to find you?

Well, something is fucking happening. And he’s at least 100% sure he wants no fucking part of it because any drama that starts after 11p.m. is the drama of the goddamn devil.

Fighting not to heave an enormous sigh, Joe reluctantly acknowledges that he should pull his clothes on and get out of here if there really is an emergency in the vicinity of his roommate. Looking back over his naked shoulder Joe tries to catch a glance at the guy in the bed, at the length of his bare leg in the semi-darkness, and the angle of his shoulder protruding from the blankets where he curled. He’d happily get back in that bed and go another round or five.

As though alerted to Joe’s presence by the cosmos, his phone begins buzzing in his hand. Huffing in annoyance, he attempts to reject the call at least until he can get out of the room, but throws himself off kilter and bangs his elbow into the bedside table, jostling a glass of water and a pile of paperbacks.

“Shit,” he curses, grasping at his elbow and shooting a glance back to the guy, whose eyes are already open and alerted to the noise.

Damn it.

The guy blinks slowly, bleary, for a moment before pulling his face from his pillows and angling up onto his side. “Hi,” he greets softly, running a hand through his mussed hair.

“Hi,” Joe nods back, grimacing. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

The guy shakes his head, looking for all intents and purposes like he means it. “Not at all,” he sniffs, meeting Joe’s eyes in the darkness with a still-sleepy smile. “What time is it?”

“Oh man, it’s like noon.”

Furrowing his brow, the guy nods back before shooting Joe a wry smile. “We tired ourselves out, huh?”

Joe laughs, seeing his phone light up in his hand with a new message. “Speak for yourself.”

At the interested quirk of the other man’s brow Joe hastily gives a shake of his head and stands. “I’ll get out of your hair quick, no worries, just be a minute.”

The guy frowns, sitting up in the bed to let the blankets pool around his hips, hands coming to rest between his legs. “Oh, well, don’t feel like you have to.”

Joe pauses, pants in hand. “Oh, it’s not -”

“I mean, if you want to go then for sure, but like…” the guy waves a hand, pursing his lips before smiling and coughing out a laugh. “Are you hungry? I have eggs, I can make you something before you go.”

He hesitates, eyes pivoting from the guy, to his phone still in his hand, and back to the guy and his open, expectant face. After a moment, he clears his throat. “You know, I could eat.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I could, could you?”

The guy smiles, and even in this mostly dark room Joe can see he has dimples and has to hold himself back from practically swooning, cursing his half-drunk self of the night prior for not remembering exactly how attractive this guy was. “I could use some coffee, is what I can use,” he says, stretching his arms over his head, and Joe is treated to the sight of his bare, bitten up chest. Usually he doesn’t take much notice of his partner's body hair, but as he lets his eyes trace over the guy's chest and legs as he moves to stand he finds himself clearing his throat and getting a little warm along his neck.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” he responded distractedly, pulling his eyes away from the luscious sight of the guy's ass as he bends to retrieve his underwear and instead moving to put his own on. After a second thought he pulls on his shirt as well; might do him some good if he finds himself flushing up at just a glimpse of this guy's ass.

As he slips his shirt over his head, the guy turns to him with a bit of a sheepish look on his face. “Can I admit something?” he asks, lips scrunched.

Joe pauses, still grasping the hem of his shirt. “What?”

“I…” he starts, before chuckling somewhat awkwardly. “I don’t totally remember your name...”

A fair bit of relief surges through him at that, and Joe finds himself huffing out a laugh of his own, and adds another one at the half-embarrassed and half-expectant smile the guy gives him. “Can I admit something back?”

“What?”

“I don’t remember yours either.”

The guy's eyes widen minutely, before he tips his head back and laughs, nodding gently as he rubs a hand over his face. “Is it bad manners to say that’s a relief?”

“I think it’s alright as long as neither of us care,” Joe said, pushing his hair back, before stepping up to the guy and extending a hand. “I’m Joe.”

The guy grasped his hand in a sure grip. “David,” he replied with a little shake of their hands, before leaning in and pressing a dry kiss to Joe’s cheek. “Nice to meet you.”

Joe turned his face into David’s, catching his lips in a tender, if chaste, kiss. “Nice to meet you.”

#webgott #modern!au #it's my personal hc that joe not only loves to be in bed but is Very particular about it #mentioned:baberoe #this AU sponsored by Kim Crawford

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lia-jones · 4 years

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Growing Stronger - Chapter Thirty-Six - The Father of the Bride

They say one of the hardest days in a man’s life is the one when he gives his daughter away to another man. And Jeremy was travelling into that dark night alone, without any one to advise him. His father never had the same experience; Jeremy’s sister never got married. Not that his father would care or even be present should his sister get married. In fact, Jeremy was sure his father was the reason his sister never married in the first place.

Fortunately, that wasn’t his daughter’s case. She had had the example of a happy family, one that he had raised with love and understanding, hoping to break the cycle of abandonment. Although her experience before Victor was enough to send anyone on a one-way trip to celibacy, that wasn’t his Andrea. She was strong, resilient, and had within her a joy of life many spend a lifetime trying to obtain. She was insightful and hopeful, and that gave her the truly rare ability to see beauty in everything. Apparently, such had been the case with Victor. Where everyone else saw coldness, she saw light.

Although Jeremy and Victor were very different men with very different backgrounds, he could see so much of him in that remarkable young man it was almost funny. Yet, he could never exactly figure what it was that he found so similar. The realization dawned on him at the rehearsal dinner, when he saw Gregory interact with his son.

A deadbeat dad is a deadbeat dad, no matter the social status. That night, he had seen in Gregory’s eyes the same contempt he saw in his own father’s, and in Victor’s eyes the exact same blend of hurt and defiance that he was sure oftentimes he had in his own. And in that moment, Jeremy was absolutely certain that Victor was the best husband Andrea could find: a man who had experienced rejection and pain, but was driven enough to create a life full of love and understanding for himself and the love of his life.

Jeremy sighed and rolled out of bed. This was way too much contemplation before coffee. Plus, he hated to wake up without Mariana, and he could really use her that morning. She would surely and quickly put an end to his useless internal monologue, either offering kind words or simply telling him to get his lazy ass out of bed.

Well, his lazy ass was out of bed. Now what?

What does the father of the bride do?

As he stepped into the cold shower, he pondered about what was expected of him that day. What the heck is the role of the father of the bride? In short, absolutely nothing. He comes forward with a check to pay for the wedding and takes a little stroll down the aisle. Since Victor was a multimillionaire, the stroll was all he had. Jeremy scoffed, accidentally getting a little bit of shampoo in his mouth, pairing with his bitter thoughts: a lifetime racking his brain on how to properly raise a girl and on the most important day of her life, all that was required from him was to be able to walk a straight line. Even a sobriety test could be more interesting.

Getting out of the shower, he noticed a new notification on his phone. A text from his wife.

Have you seen Andy?

To aggravate him even more, Mariana was at Andrea’s room, to help her put on the dress, dote on her, calm down any eventual wedding jitters, leaving him to his own devices. Him, he had no job. Not only was he losing his daughter that day, he had to feel like a useless bum too.

His stomach growled. Maybe it was just hunger putting him in a bad mood. Time to put on some clothes, look for Andrea, and get some grub.

He had just shut his bedroom door when he heard a loud thump at the end of the hall.

“Crap! Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!” Andrea fumbled to get herself off the ground, her cheeks red as tomatoes.

He watched her awkwardly walk down the hall, a knowing smirk on his face. The bride’s room wasn’t that way, the groom’s was.

“Woke up early to walk the dog?” He jested, knowing this would make her blush even more.

“Sorry, Dad, no time to talk!” She quickened her step, going for the stairs.

“I was going to say don’t keep him waiting, but it looks like you didn’t!” He joked again, only to be ignored. He didn’t care, though, laughing at his own joke.

Ok, that seemed to be taken care of. At least both bride and groom would be relaxed before the ceremony. Well, as much as they could be. It was time for breakfast.

It was clear to Jeremy that Terry and Mina loved Victor like he was their own child. He was aware that all the preparations depended on Victor’s money and the wedding planner’s taste, but there was an additional and special care in everything Mina and Terry did for him, one that wedding planners can’t replicate, one that is only given to a son. This would remain unnoticed by a lot of people, but to a parent, this special attention was plain to see.

“Good morning.” He announced himself, as he entered the dining room.

“Good morning, Mr. Jones.” Mina greeted him from the kitchen, as she dispatched two trays of food, probably for the happy couple. “I will be right there with you.”

Soon enough, she arrived with a plate filled with bacon, eggs and pancakes, placing it on the table, in front of him.

“Have all the others had breakfast yet?” He asked, seeing himself alone with Mina in the dining room.

“Yes, everybody is already busy with their tasks, they came to eat really early.” Mina was about to leave when Jeremy stopped her.

“Care to sit with me for a quick coffee? I don’t like eating alone.” He asked, feeling weird about having a meal on his own.

“Your granddaughter is so beautiful.” Mina commented, sitting next to him. “So playful and always smiling! Victor loves her, I have never seen him so fascinated with a child before.”

“Yeah, that one has him wrapped around her little finger…” Jeremy chuckled. “All of us, really.”

“It’s just so sad that Andrea…” Mina trailed off, a concerned look on her face.

“It is.” Jeremy frowned, remembering her pain during that dreadful year. “A farewell gift from that abusive piece of shit.” He cleared his throat. “Pardon my English.”

“No, those words are appropriate.” Mina supported him, almost as enraged as he was, making it clear she cared deeply about his daughter. “It just infuriates me to see these two kids, with such big hearts, go through so much. My Victor acts tough, but in the end, he is still that small little boy that just wants a little affection. At least they found each other. Andrea seems to love him very much.”

“Oh yes, she does.” Jeremy nodded. “That one will love on him until she’s blue in the face.”

“My heart breaks for him today, to tell you the truth.” Mina was misty-eyed, her voice somewhat strained. “It’s the most important day of his life and his father can’t be supportive. And surely he must be hurting, thinking of how his mother didn’t live to witness his special day. It’s like he is being abandoned all over again.”

Jeremy’s thoughts drifted back to his own wedding, in Portugal, away from his friends and family. There was something that cheered him up on that day though: a postcard from his aunt, with some money and his mother’s ring and the words You got this, kiddo. Be happy .

Jeremy smiled confidently at Mina.

“He has someone. He has a mother right here. The one that loved him and nurtured him for years. And that’s the one he needs.”

Well fed and in a much better mood, Jeremy marched to his bedroom. He was wrong, he had a job after all: to be a comforting voice. That was usually Mariana’s job, but she was so busy tending to their daughter and the other bridesmaids that she wouldn’t have the time to work her magic. That day, such a daunting and important task seemed to fall on him. He hoped some of his wife’s wisdom had rubbed off on him.

He took out his wedding suit and put it on, checking himself in the mirror. He was a far cry from the boy he was thirty five years ago, although one thing remained: the look of happiness in his eyes. He was looking for his cuff links when his wife stormed into the room, already wearing her own formal dress, her hair and makeup perfectly done, yet a livid look on her face.

“Where were you? I have been calling you!” She reprimanded him.

“Oh shoot, the sound was very low, I didn’t hear it.” He grimaced, looking at his phone. “Why? What happened?”

“ Filho da puta, arrogante de merda! ” She swore in Portuguese, which was rare for her. Something very wrong was going on. “Gregory is not coming to the wedding. Apparently, his reputation is more important than his son. And your daughter is on the verge of a panic attack, because that producer had the fucking brilliant idea of telling her about the dozens of reporters writing articles about her wedding!” She held her husband’s face, looking him in the eyes with determination. “Our kids need us, Jer. Did you bring that special brandy?”

“To open with Victor after lunch, yes. Why?”

“Forget lunch. He needs it now.” She shook her head with sadness, probably name-calling Gregory in her mind. “Jer, he needs a father.”

Jeremy didn’t need to be told twice. Bottle of brandy in hand, he ran to Victor’s room. He suddenly felt as infuriated as his wife, picturing himself punching Greg square in the jaw for being such a prick, both for Andy and Victor. Not even on his son’s most special day, he couldn’t avoid a scene? He had to let his son down once again?

He found Joshua pacing nervously outside.

“Oh, thank God!” His son sighed in relief. “I honestly don’t know what to do! His old man was here, they had a huge fight. I had to grab Victor, he was on the verge of punching his father. Fuck, the things he was saying about Andy, I felt like punching him too, but then I remembered what mom said.” Joshua took a deep breath to calm himself down. “After that, he wouldn’t touch his breakfast, Goldman had to threaten to call Andy if he didn’t eat. He’s completely shut down, Dad. He’s barely talking, just sits there, lost in thought.” He looked at his father with angry eyes. “I honestly don’t know if he’s well enough to get married right now. He looks… broken.”

“Don’t worry, son.” Jeremy patted his son in the back. “I got this.”

Jeremy knocked on the door, and as soon as Goldman opened it, he signaled for the assistant to wait outside. He found Victor already in his wedding suit, sitting on the sofa, staring at the floor.

“You look tired, son.” Jeremy started, pretending not to know what was going on. “That’s what you get for sleeping with the bride before the wedding.” He joked, not getting a response. “Or wedding jitters kept you up?”

Victor suddenly looked up, his face expressionless. Jeremy could see the pain in his eyes, though.

“I’m fine.” He answered with a flat voice.

“Well, I have something that will make you feel more than fine.” Jeremy placed the bottle on the coffee table with a loud clunk. That definitely caught Victor’s attention.

“A Rémi Martin XO?”

“A wedding gift to calm your nerves.” Jeremy went to the food table. “Let me get two glasses.”

“Feel free to help yourself.” Victor slid the bottle further from him. “It’s too early for me to drink.”

“Son, you need this more than I do.” Jeremy poured some brandy into a glass, handing it to his son in law. “You may fool your friends out there, but you can’t fool me. Drink. It’ll help.”

He watched as Victor took a sip, letting the brandy sit in his mouth, swallowing after with a satisfied exhale.

“Magnificent.” Victor observed the brandy in his glass. “Are you sure you want me to have it?”

“Of all the people I know, you are the most worthy of it.” Jeremy chuckled. “Andrea or Joshua wouldn’t appreciate it correctly. I would be casting pearls to swine.”

After a brief moment of silence, both swirling the brandy in their glasses, Jeremy decided to jump in and address the matter at hand.

“How are you feeling, son?” He carefully observed Victor.

“I’m fine.” Victor answered, his voice hinting his frustration. “Why does everybody keep asking me that?”

“It’s a big day, after all. We tend to look back, make a quick review of where we’ve been, how far we have come. The people we miss.”

With a sigh, Victor put his glass down on the coffee table. But didn’t utter a word.

“How most things won’t change, no matter how hard we try.” Jeremy offered again, hinting at Victor’s relationship with his father.

Victor smirked bitterly, looking at him. Still, not a word.

“Mari and I were much younger when we got married, I was 25, she was 22. Her family didn’t accept our relationship, so we eloped in a city nearby and got married without anyone’s consent. I could see she was upset not having her family there. I was actually relieved to not have mine.”

His son in law looked at him, surprised. With a weak smile, Jeremy continued.

“As you may have already noticed, Mari and I never talked much about my family to my kids. To be honest, I don’t even know if they are dead or alive. My father was an evil man that left us for another woman. My mother was a weak-minded woman who could never stand up for herself or her children. The moment he left, I had to start working to feed our family, in a winery in Napa Valley. That was how I became an oenologist, my boss helped me in every way he could to give me a steady path.”

Jeremy kept his eyes on the table, unwilling to let past emotions take hold of him.

“The day I got married was the happiest and the hardest in my life. As I looked at the woman by my side, there was a feeling of dread inside of me. I felt alone, unprepared, just a kid. I had no real experience of what a healthy marriage was. My father was an awful husband and a lousy father, how could I be any good at it? I was afraid to repeat his mistakes.”

“Yet, you didn’t.” Victor concluded by himself.

“No, I didn’t.” Jeremy shook his head, feeling proud of himself. “All it took was a look at the woman I loved, standing by my side, smiling at me, and I knew I wasn’t alone. When you stand at that aisle, and you see Andy walk towards you, mark my words, you’ll feel invincible. Nothing else will matter. You’ll know that you love her with all your heart, and even feeling unprepared, there is nothing you wouldn’t do for her.”

“There isn’t.” Victor looked Jeremy in the eyes, his expression assertive. Jeremy knew that look too, it was the one he had on his wedding day.

“I know.” He assured the young man. “That life you leave behind will seem like a mirage when you lead the one you chose for yourself. Don’t let it weigh on you now. You’re almost there.”

“Thank you.” Victor said in a low voice, seemingly touched by the story.

“And I need to see about a bride!” Jeremy downed the rest of his brandy, making a face. “On second thought, this brandy might not have been such a good idea. Maybe don’t drink it all.”

Not giving another word to the men waiting outside, he strode to his daughter’s room, feeling very good about himself. His job here was done. Time to see how beautiful Andrea looked.

She was breathtaking in that dress. Jeremy couldn’t care less about dresses, but even he had to notice the beautiful work in the halter neckline, lined with beautiful stones and covered with lace. It was like nothing he had seen before, a true work of art. Becoming a Lee sure had its advantages.

Not that Andrea cared though. She was still somewhat anxious with all the media outside, all the girls surrounding her, trying to reassure her.

“No way I’m going out there! We’ll have to get married inside.” Andrea concluded, panicked.

“It will be ok, you’ll do fine.” Mariana stroke her back, comforting her.

“No, it won’t! Everyone’s eyes will be on me, I’m going to embarrass Victor!”

“You are not, Andy. It’s just a short walk to the carriage, and then to the aisle. We’ll be with you every step of the way, you’ll do fine.” Diane chimed in.

“And I have instructed the photographers to be as discreet as possible, you won’t even notice them, I promise.” The short producer offered. But Andy wasn’t listening anymore, her mind reeling with fear.

“Oh my God, I can feel myself sweat, I’m going to have pit stains in my dress.” She fumbled with the skirt of her dress. “And it’s too long for me to walk anyway, so I’m surely going to trip on it. I’m going to faceplant on the floor, and every magazine will have a picture of it to remember it.”

“No, you won’t. I will be holding your arm the entire time, remember? Just like I held you when you were learning to walk.” Jeremy spoke up, stealing Andrea’s attention.

“Dad?” She looked up, seeking his support. The same look she had in her eyes like when she was just a child, and still needed him. Jeremy felt his heart swell with joy.

“Remember, Mari?” He spoke to his wife, as he took his daughter’s hand. “This one could talk even before she could walk. And she was so scared of falling.”

“You would only stand and walk if we held your hand.” Mariana continued to talk. “Your father would hold your hand, keeping you straight, while you took your first steps. It took a while to convince you that you were safe, but eventually you walked on your own.”

Andrea smiled, and Jeremy could almost see her, so little, blonde curls jumping up and down as she tried to steady herself.

“You know, as you and Josh grew up, I always thought you’d be the one that needed protection the most. Especially after a few years. Josh was a lively kid, full of spunk and surrounded by friends, while you spent your days pressing the keys of that piano, by yourself. You seemed so fragile and lonely to me, and oftentimes I wondered if you had a hard time making friends, since Josh was the only one you'd play with. But then you had your first recital.”

“I remember that day. I was so nervous.” Andrea recalled, seemingly more relaxed. Mariana left the room with the bridesmaids, probably wanting to give them a moment.

“I remember you walking to that stage, so small, and playing masterfully, getting a look of awe from everyone. That’s when it hit me. What I was seeing wasn’t a small girl isolating herself, but instead someone who, at a very tender age, was already working tirelessly to achieve a goal. You weren’t hiding from the world. You were preparing yourself to face it.”

“Dad…” His daughter was misty-eyed, smiling at him.

“For some years, my heart relaxed.” Jeremy continued. “I consistently saw you work towards your goals, and in the meantime you made friends, a tight circle. No one could ever make you give up what you wanted. Until that scumbag.” He paused, relaxing his fists, that he had unwillingly clenched while he spoke. “There is no greater pain than to helplessly watch your child fade away, lose her spark. But once again, you proved me wrong. You got to your feet, you overcame your trauma and healed from the abuse. You got your doctorate, an outstanding career, a good man to start a life with. You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever known, stronger than me. I have no words to describe how proud I am to be your father.”

“I’m not stronger than you.” Andrea blinked a few happy tears away. “I am strong because of you. Because you always saw worth in everything I did. Because you always believed in me.”

“Hurry up, guys.” Mariana peeked into the room from the door. “The groom is ready. It’s time.”

“Well, I believe some photographers won’t stop you now.” He stood up, taking Andrea’s hand. “Let’s go. There’s a nervous young man anxiously waiting for you.”

“Victor is nervous?” She smiled at him, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

“Oh yes. I had to get him slightly drunk.” Jeremy chuckled at the scolding look in his daughter’s expression. “Don’t worry, he’s sober enough.”

He left the mansion proudly, Andy by his side, holding his arm tight. There were sounds of flashes, of pictures being taken, but she kept her eyes on him, confidently, like she did so many years ago. They climbed into the carriage that would take them to the wedding venue, and she looked serene, sure of herself, happy. The same expression she had when facing so many trials in her life. She was ready.

As he walked down the aisle with his precious daughter, Jeremy’s chest felt warmer with a sudden realization: he wasn’t giving away his daughter, because she wasn’t his to give in the first place. She had always belonged to herself, following her own path, focusing on her own dreams, making her own choices. Jeremy was simply privileged to hold her hand as she bravely took her first steps towards a brilliant future.

#mister love queens choice #mister love dream date #love and producer #mlqc victor #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc fanfic #victor x oc

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lilmajorshawty · 5 years

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Uranus in The houses : The Unhinged.

Uranus In The First House : A Calamity

(Kanye Feat. Jay Z - No church in the wild)

for natives with this placement the world itself can feel almost restricted in it’s dense formatting. To them people play pretend, and this makes them create walls as a means to escape from this “playground” of superficiality and conformity. they in many ways can be fantasy, operating on whim and wanderlust rather than any understandable motive. The ego here is complex, rather it’s constantly changing and augmenting. These natives can seem detached, far or aloof even if they have a rather watery or earthy ascendant. They keep distance from the world around them and can find it rather hard especially when young to cope with being “different” from the rest. Uranus in this house can cause standout features such as cheekbones, hair patterns and colors, eye colors or rather even just a unique scar or beauty mark on the face. these natives can be problem starters or deviants, in some ways many with this placement if not outright have that hidden side to them that seeks to test the boundaries of people or things in their immediate environment. Stark reds or blacks tend to color their wardrobe especially if they happen to already be a water or earth ascendant. despite Uranus here they can hide this energy despite it sitting in the first house if Uranus is well aspected or partnered with another planet or aspect to the rising sign.

Uranus In The Second House: A Power-Outage

(Kanye West - Fade)

Uranus in the second house natives have the Judas Kiss. In most scenes this is seen as a taboo or rather bad relation; rather in this situation I would say this natives are capable of a great good but also a tremendous evil if they so please. the temperature here is cool to hot very quickly much like the finances of these natives. on one side they can have massive ups, and rather godly luck in matters of money. But seemingly from nowhere money can be lost, stolen or even misplaced just as quickly as they found it. the cycle of having and losing usually is what causes these natives, especially later in life to become very free when it comes to money matters. their self esteem can see its fair share of ups and downs but once they accept their uniqueness for what it is they no longer feel bound to the standards of beauty or security they've been taught to uphold here as Uranus forces them to create a new definition of the idea of “security.” these natives can be GORGEOUS; of course in saying this I don’t mean every other Uranus placement lacks the ability to be beautiful, rather Uranus in this house adds a special type of sensuality, the type that seduces a room without even a second thought. They have a star quality, almost like the lights are drawn to them effortlessly. The throat can be a bit unique or even possess tattoo, piercing, or in some cases freckles and or beauty marks(moles.) the tone of voice can either be raspy or faded in a way, fluctuating and “different” these natives can be untouchable once they master the art of loving thy self in regard of all uniqueness.

Uranus In The Third House: A Stormy Sky

(Run The Jewels - Call Ticketron)

Uranus in the third house natives in true third house fashion Love the mind, they can take on a rather personal stance towards understanding others but a more impersonal one on understanding their own mental makeup. They are true creatures of impulse, seeking to dig and devour every aspect of the human response. They want to know the “why,” the “how,” the many intricate reasons on why you close your door before you go to sleep, why you cuff your jeans before you head to the date, why you cover your mouth when you laugh. To them the mind is a machine and one they are endlessly fascinated by. They can have moods in which they are extremely choosey and cliquish about who they show their genius mind to but in some ways its not them being stuck up or snobbish, rather they need to be mentally stimulated by people who know how to have free thought. People who can challenge them, people who can give them a new perspective or who have a deep mind are like eating the sweetest cherry pie for these natives. they adore mental diversity and often remain more introverted until they find that in the environment they’re in. They can have a rather fixed gaze in their eyes as if they are caught in a deep thought or on a destination you’re not apart of. They can have beauty marks and moles on the arms unless other planets sit in this house, the nails and or finger tips on women or men can be slender and boxed. the hand movements can seem very detached from the movements of the body they belong too. the arms can also be rather cold in their temperature. the speech pattern is quick and get far away as they speak as if they are talking away from you as the conversation continues. They also have the tendency to avoid touch or have an intensity to the way they do initiate touch.(handshakes). Very punk rebel vibe to them.

Uranus In The Fourth House: A Silent Bolt

(Travis scott - Astrothunder)

This can be a bit of a taxing place for Uranus to be in a persons chart as it can create a distant sort of ways a way feeling in the most vulnerable place in someone’s heart, home. The home can seem a bit “for now” for the native even if the family Is loving and caring as can be. the native carries this energy as if the security they feel may only last for a moment. the family can in some cases be unorthodox or a bit strange in its composition. it could be that the native is an adopted child, lives or has lived in a ever shifting home environment or may have a detached relationship with those they get intimately involved with, including their loved ones. Uranus could also create a situation here the child is raised by relatives or siblings rather than the parent or in some cases raised themselves. the native could've seen the home as a place to test the mind or the concepts of life itself. at home is where their ideas and concepts find voice often causing the natives to seem detached when you get to know them as you will soon realize that it is impossible to make these natives feel as though they “need’ anyone. Due to their detachment to their fourth house often started from child hood they don’t have the same emotional grounding as most. this makes these natives Extremely hard to get to know as they keep so much of their feelings hidden away from anyone, even family. Uranus here doesn’t just build walls, it creates circumstances that force the native to fend for themselves and be independent. these natives don’t know how to “need” people and because of this usually have to teach themselves how to allow themselves to feel certain emotions, and in many ways they have to teach themselves to “care” about people despite the possibility of vulnerability that may come from it. These natives have deep feelings but regardless seek freedom frim their intense emotions as often they feel immensely understood on an emotional level and prefer to be their own “ rock” so to speak. the parents could have professions in medicine and even science and or law. parents may be gone often or be unable to provide for the native emotionally in the proper way necessary. The chest region can be unique in some way, be it scars, moles, or different skin tones than the rest of the body. the chest is very vulnerable. heart palpations and unusual heartbeats can be common place. Uranus here can cause cold body temperatures. these natives have a hard time letting people in and because of this the more you get close to them or force your way into intimacy with them the more distant they will get. they crave a life free of people and connections, in many ways they want to be nomadic, feeling and experiencing in reclusion.

Uranus In The Fifth House : A Electric Current

(Kanye Feat Sia, Vic mensa, Frank Ocean - Wolves)

Uranus in the fifth house is a powerful position for Uranus, despite being situated in the house of its opposing medium. Uranus in the house causes the native to experience their fare share of heartbreaks as it invites love liaisons that are exciting, passionate but brief in nature. it can seem like their is a divine lesson to be learned in the realm of romance and even children as these natives will be forced to relinquish control over their children much earlier than most parents as the kids will be strong in Aquarian/uraniun energy. this isn’t to say other planets and even the sign on the cusp wont augment this, but the natives will have to allot their children the room and freedom necessary to grow otherwise the children will rebel. the dating scene is likely turbulent, periods of draught and nun- like celibacy only to be bombarded with periods of intense intimacy. the natives can attract the idealist type, the rocker type, the bad boy or the conspiracy theorist. the kids are often visionaries but detached, they can adore the native as a friend or the cool mom, dad. the casual sex encounters are often memorable but can push the native into deeper themes of self realization. the party scene is often indie, a bit nuance and a bit of a sacred relic. they tend to be off to the side or inhaling the energy so to speak almost as if they’re seeking a greater party elsewhere within the very party they’re are attending. the hobbies and things sought out of pleasure are often odd. these natives tend to be stimulated by electronics and gadgets but more importantly documentaries and alien flics often are more their scene. they love a good conspiracy and even more so love to research the topic. they can be a bit flighty when it comes to the seriousness of intimacy which is often reflected back onto them in the grand scheme of karma. the back can have beauty marks, moles on it and can also have a strangeness to it appearance.

Uranus In the Sixth House : A Perplexing Case Of Deja Vu

(Disclosure - Jaded jammer Remix)

to put it in simple terms these natives are erraticccc, with a capital E. They can create the wildest day to day schedule and it’ll somehow be much more organized and neat than any of us could ever do. they live by their own compass and tend to loathe any outside reinforcement of how and what they should be utilizing their schedule to do. They value a certain level of independence in their day to day and can easily feel afflicted if they are being forced to follow any one else's regimen than their own. their health can also take on the same erratic tone. some times the guessing game they play with their bodily health is part of what adds to that insane happy-go lucky energy they carry and partly why they are the least effected by bodily alignment. Uranus makes the body heal quickly here, often causing these natives to do better dealing with their own health issues unless absolutely necessary. Surgery may in some way shape or form be necessary for these natives as Uranus in this house and the eighth house tend to do that. The stomach can be unique in its appearance but this is often negated especially if the sign on the cusp is in its last decan. the internal organ structure however will operate and preform much different than most. The native will often have odd schedules at work or detached and new age type of co-workers. the native may get jobs as a journalist, a CEO at apple or a new generation company. the ability to get a job “can” be easy sometimes and hard in other times it truly just depends on how Uranus is vibrating. The native may have a sort of cosmic back drop, as Uranus in this house can create premonitions and or preludes to situations set to occur soon. the native should take much care to pay attention to these.

Uranus In The Seventh House: A Unstable Party of two

(Big Black Delta - Huggin & Kissin )

Uranus in the seventh house natives are quite the experience. To put it fondly these natives can be a maelstrom of ups, downs, here's and there’s, Back and fourth's, Two le fro. The story can drain you but you’ll find yourself sucked into their electric vortex of sex, love, passion, anger, rage, and numbness. they are in a sense a sweet little jingle all to themselves wrapped in thorns. they are passionate souls, but the electric uranian current causes them to send out that passion in an overwhelming fashion. people attribute this placement to cheating which is something I have to disagree with, this placement on it’s own in it’s depth means that these natives crave and need a connection that touches their spirit and mind on a cosmic level. Their standards are high which causes them to seem flighty. they are unique and very perplexing individuals and for that reason they’d do anything to find that one perfect gem that reflects their storm, making a colorful shimmer. to them the chaos in a relationship is what makes a connection but the ability to take one another, bare and complete is what they attribute to be real love. The conquest can make them seem like sluts, or whores but in reality they aren’t the type to sleep around or even date for the sake of it as many of them prefer the loner lifestyle. these natives can be hard as hell to understand and even harder to win over but once you do you’ll likely see just how powerful cosmic love can be, and baby it is a groovy experience. these natives can have very cute butt dimples or beauty marks around these regions. depending on how daring they are these natives also get ass tattoos. these natives are very sexy and have an energy to them that makes them the prize. most people want them but they normally don’t notice there fans and prefer the types who don’t blend in normally with society. Exp(drake leo rising Aquarius DC falling for Rihanna, Rebellious, independent, passionate but aloof) They often are level headed and non-emotional in their interactions with others and vice versa. the start of the marriage can begin abruptly and depending on how evolved the native is the marriage can also end abruptly.

Uranus In The Eighth House : A Fallen Apostle

(Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Sacrilege)

Ah Uranus in the Eighth house, The epitome of Intensity and the icy cool of hell all in one. These natives are very much so the dark witch dressed as damsel in distress, the virgin dressed in sheer red panty less, the red eyed lover sitting atop the debris. to these natives the world, it’s people and their psyche isn’t safe from their all seeing celestial aura. these natives are blessed with a sight so clear and so powerful that often they can sense you and your intent ions before you even glance their way. they feel energy like an electric vibration and react to it consciously and unconsciously. they operate on this divine modem yet still reject any guidance from any higher power as they want to be in control of their own fate. in many ways they take on the form of a rebellious angel favored by the ruler of all, not just for their “balls” but for the limitless nature of their tenacity. these natives are ambitious when it comes to the world of the dead, they want to transverse spirituality and the cosmic window and many can be drawn to the occult, be it astrology, actual cults, tarot, psychic mediums, paranormal investigations and so on. these placement is very spiritually powerful as well as these natives tend to earn the respect of good and bad ghost. demons and angels tend to take on passive energies towards these natives more or less being rather curious as to the life choices and directions the native will choose to follow. they often have very strong dreams and can easily hear divine calling if they surrender to the unknown but these natives as brave as they are can be afraid of how “real” their own spiritual ability really is and in turn shy away from the heavier stuff. they can have a past life linked to science and innovation, one in which they discovered something of great importance in their present life. in many cases having Uranus in your 8th house in this life time can mean you’ve lived many lives and carry many souls within your body hence the heaviness of this placement. the body temperature is often very cold and the native can easily get shivers and tremors due to sudden temperature changes. these natives tend to dislike to much heat and can suffer from being accident prone. the native will likely have surgery and an interest in surgery that will become more apparent over time. the genitalia will have unique features or just be shaped in a different way. the hips will be in a sort of hourglass shape depending on other influences. Uranus here also causes a much darker eye color, as with all 8th house placements. the native will have good luck in finances but, their will be a constant fluctuation in finances especially with Neptune here due to Uranus and it’s 50/50 nature. that being said inheritance and money deals will usually run smoothly even if Uranus is badly aspected, but still caution is advised with harsher aspects. sex can almost be experienced in seldom as usually from what I've seen the universe is very picky about who is able to sleep with these natives. usually the natives are put in long moments of celibacy and then sprung by sudden and long periods of constant sex or thoughts of sex. the natives can be very detached and very, very hard to get emotionally close to as the darkest and most intense side of themselves is put behind a uranian wall. they are in a sense the darkest place for Uranus because of how overwhelming their real energy is. not to exaggerate but these natives are not easy to handle and they know that, no ordinary person is usually capable so these natives tend to be very choosey about who is ready to take them on.

Uranus In the Ninth House : A Divine Exit

(Foals - Exits)

For Uranus in the 9th house natives much could be said bout their rebellious spirit but even more could be said about their influential presence. These natives share a obscure world view, one far from the norm and one that isn’t supported by the rest. the can have passionate views on the political landscape but can keep these thoughts tight to their chest especially if they are a more shy person. they prefer a world lived in truth rather than blind following and desperately seek to create that even if in a small way in the world around them. they are buzzing with the rebel energy and can seem like the bad boy or bad gal in town even if they’re sweet as can be. the nature of Uranus in this house is to challenge the status quo which often makes these natives huge advocates for reform and leaks as they need and want the public to have the opportunity to think on their own. These natives can be extremely open minded and one of their most admirable qualities is the safe haven they create for those who don’t feel safe speaking or validating their own truth. these natives albeit strange are very good hearted anarchist. the travels can be interstellar(literally) as Uranus rules space age tech and these natives tend to travel often to highly industrialized places. the natives can have rather aloof or detached engagements with foreign places which allows them the greatest avenue for self discovery and change. they often adore history and language but can despise the ecosystem of paid college and governmental institutions which usually makes many of them seek outside sources of knowledge or in some extreme cases not go to college or further schooling all together. the hips and thighs can be unique in their shape or have freckles(moles).

Uranus In the Tenth House : A Earthly Anomaly

(Alexandra Savior -Frankie)

Uranus in the tenth house is very intimidating. These natives have these kind of critical yet leering gaze to them, this honest and suffocating loathing of society and its little nuances. They know the end and beginning and often find themselves augmenting the results only to be disappointed by it’s commonality. They view people in spades and often find themselves testing reactions and situational responses from environments and people involved. their public persona can be viewed as detached, rather cool and unassuming. their media profiles can range from conspiracy to vintage oldie sit-com. they live in an era that is long dead and gone. they value genuine expression and often adore the new, and rather simplistic approaches to beauty and art. to them keeping some of the old, and taking your own spin on it, bringing it to life in your own light takes an immense amount of dedication and skill. they can seem rather elderly in their approach to concepts and carry a sort of pre-historic air to them yet in so many ways they are ions beyond everyone else as Uranus in this house gifts these natives with not only a resourceful mind but a encompassing mind that sees the beautiful stills and angles yet to be used. they tend to be very poised and serious individuals who dislike a misuse of the “outsider” aesthetic. to them not fitting in isn’t a “trend” rather it’s a experience, it’s a very real aspect of life and one they take seriously. they project this air of independence but can easily overwhelm you with how easily they can remove their feelings from an encounter and treat you as if you were a speck of sand they happened to pay a little to much time on. they have a strong capability to do anything technical, be it space science, astronomy, be it bacterial research, chem labs, cancer research, robotic engineering and so on. they could care less about status and tend to be fond of jobs that allow them some level of reclusively. other planets can augment this description. the bone structure can be rather striking in it’s build leading to either a stranger look or taller look.

Uranus In the Eleventh House : A Transparent Fuse

(Metronomy -reservoir jaques Lu cont remix)

Uranus Can act a damn fool in it’s own house, you’d imagine Uranus would be pretty happy here correct? you’d be right! Uranus is a force in this house but not in the way you would think. The natural ability to make friends is capitalized here but it’s also strange in how it’s brought about. friends and the idea and concept of this will constantly be a out of reach understanding to the native. The friends take on the real role they were supposed to which is being a mirror into the soul of the individual. every aspect of these natives friend is an aspect of the native her/himself. the friendships can start and end quickly and have rather odd middle periods almost as if its a simulation of sorts. The natives themselves can be quick of wit and insanely bright, their mind just receives and accumulates knowledge like some sort of intergalactic sponge. they tend to take on a humble conscious though and tend to loathe seeming overly educated in any one subject as they believe there is always something more to learn. these natives can struggle with hot and cold periods especially emotionally as they can feel sudden bouts of direction less-ness. they can seem a bit self critical and self deprecating only because they hold their mental state to such an abnormally high standard. they tend to be very drawn to organizations of any kind and have very giving and sacrificial hearts. that being said they can smell a con from a mile a way and aren’t to types to mindlessly donate. they can have a strong moral compass and a truly authentic rebel soul yet a great deal of who they are is presented very calmly and flows much easier than any of the Uranus placements so they actually seem the most “normal’ out of the bunch. the ankles can be a bit on the small side and can have some unique marks or bone structuring towards the foot.

Uranus In The Twelfth House : A De-Railed Train

(Tangerine Dream - Love on a Real Train)

Uranus in the 12th house is very different from Uranus conjunct Neptune, or Neptune in the 11th..rather it’s a placement that creates this energy of oneness, a seemingly collective stimulus in a final alignment. These natives are Psychic batteries, they feel and sense the world in such a deep way that they often can easily be written off as “weird” or “odd” to the general populace. in many ways they represent the cosmic due to how deep and personal they feel the vibrations of their environment. they often have strong escapist tendencies that are worsened because Uranus often feels stifled in this house. they tend to operate on two planes of consciousness and switch in and out of these personas on a continuous scale. they can often seem as if they’re not feeding you the entire plate, which is true, they are often withholding large chunks of their mind and inner realm from those they meet as a measure of protecting themselves. The dreams can be vivid beyond belief and can have rather peculiar and odd contextual themes that never seem to go hand and hand. the dreams tend to increase in intensity in response to outside triggers. the spiritual constitution is very intense but can get better as more experience is gained over time. behind closed doors these individuals are Brainiac's, wizards, mad scientist and lab rats. they understand it all, listen to them and hear the astral plane on the tips of their tongue. they are immensely intelligent and unknown to many of these natives once tapped, their minds can do unforeseen things. they are adaptable and easily able to pick up information and skills in the blink of an eye. to them there isn’t an uncharted place in the sky, but since this is the twelfth house this beautiful skill is hidden somewhere in the hum-drum of their psyche and it’s waiting to be freed.

#mine #uranus through the houses #astro

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redstringoffaterp · 5 years

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Quinn Fabray Application

Welcome to the roleplay, Laura! Your application for Quinn Fabray has been accepted. Please follow the Newbie List!

→Name/Alias: Laura →Age: 28 →Timezone: GMT+1 →Activity Level: I´m usually pretty active. Means I´ll get on every day to do replies or to at least check and see if anyone´s online to write with. →Triggers: None. →Anything else?: I…assume this is where we put the password? Chimichanga! Also the spot of “resident bad boy” and “girlfriend during High School” are absolutely open as past connections to people applying for other characters! :) →Ships: Quinn&Chemistry →Anti-Ships: Quinn&No Chemistry

IC INFORMATION

→Desired Character: Quinn Fabray →Age: 27 →Hometown: Long Island, New York. →Sexuality: bisexual.

BIO

→Headcanon:

1. For someone who doesn´t believe in love she reads a HELL of a lot of romance novels. 2. Quinn noticed that she was into girls, too, when the stage manager of her High School production of A Midsummer Night´s Dream kissed her in the wings and she kissed her back. 3. Quinn had an abortion at 16.

→Bio:

Lucy Quinn Fabray had been raised to be the perfect daughter. In fact, everything about her family seemed to be perfect. Perfect parents with a perfect marriage, who often entertained guests in their home, guests who were delighted by any invitation to the Fabray House they received.

Looking behind closed doors, however, the Fabray family was far from perfect. Her father was often working late, not coming come at night at all, and for a long time Quinn believed that was what he was doing. The older she got, the more the whispers in school started getting to her. Her father was going behind her mother´s back, having affairs left and right, but her mother seemed to not care. Or at least that´s what Quinn thought, because she defended her husband furiously.

Something Quinn, to this day, doesn´t understand. Or well…she does understand where her mother was coming from, trying to hold up the perfect imagine of a family, when in reality, it was crumbling.

Quinn, who was head cheerleader, member of the celibacy club, and had perfect grades, was the poster child of the family. She tried not to step out of line, because whenever she did, her father would go without talking to her for days, only telling her that he was disappointed in “his little girl.”

When he eventually started bringing around boys to dinner, the sons of his business partners, Quinn, in an act of defiance, joined the Drama Club so she wouldn´t always have to be home for dinner. Neither of her parents showed up to one of the performances they put on though, and while Quinn was disappointed, she tried not to think about it too much.

In another act of defiance, which probably came from the fact that her father kept bringing home boys that were “perfectly suitable for marriage”, Quinn began an affair with the resident bad boy of her High School. In hindsight maybe not her brightest idea, but for a short time it made her feel like she was on top. That was, however, until one day in her Junior Year, when a pregnancy test came back positive.

Quinn knew this would have been the end of her social career in High School, and it would have probably gotten her kicked out of her home, too. Not that she enjoyed being there, but being entirely on her own, and that with a baby? No, that wasn´t what she wanted.

So Lucy Quinn Fabray drove all the way to Canada to get an abortion.

It´s something that still haunts her to this day in a way, but she doesn´t regret it, not with how her life turned out.

After graduating High School with honours, Quinn decided that it was time to get away from her parents. She´d been dating a girl, a classmate, at the time of finishing High School, and she was well aware that her parents wouldn´t agree. And they probably wouldn´t agree with her wanting to go to college to get a job eventually either, so the day after graduation Quinn told her parents that she was dating someone, a girl, and that she had enrolled for college.

Her father threatened to kick her out, so Quinn turned to her mother, but the woman who had never stood up for her daughter once in her life, didn´t say a word. What a surprise.

So Quinn took her packed suitcase, changed her name from Lucy to Quinn, and left for Manhattan, where she enrolled at NYU to become a teacher.

She now teaches English and Music at a local High School, while also running the Drama Club. Her parents failed marriage had taken away her belief in romance and happy endings, but Quinn is doing just fine without it, thank you very much.

#glee rp #glee au rp #faberry #submission

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what-ever-happened-to-chip · 3 years

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Part 3: Irreversible Choices

I figured if I laid around here long enough Joni would come sniffing around for something, so I just decided to wait. Aiden was useless, Marcus was on a "celibacy break", and anyone else that has smack wasn't worth the effort. Sleepy eyed she dragged her feet in announced, "Who's the most popular couple of the day? JONI IS. I totally walked in on Harry watching me and Noah" For whatever reason her saying that bothered me. "He probably was pretending to be me again" I joked Without really thinking of what I had just said she dotingly (well mockingly really) snapped back, "What you would watch me and Noah cuddling, awww are you lonely Gray" My lip twitched and I realized I had no comeback. Whatever, it's just Joni. I shook my head and realized I had taken my boxers off long before I got in my room. I pulled the blanket up. "Awww Gray are you getting shy? Where is the longest dick list? did it say yours shrunk?" "It's still bigger than Noahs" I have no idea why I just said that. I knew I was being petty, I knew it was jealousy. Fuck I knew i didn't like Joni like that....well not in any real way, but I felt jealous and mad. "Okkkaaaay that's super relevant, i'll have to tell Noah this later..." She laughed that gentle but ever so callous laugh she possessed. "Well if you talk shit to him about me then what do you tell me?" "Come on Gray, you know i don't keep you around to tell you things." That one stung even deeper. Something in me took over, flashes of the whole day, fuck my whole life played before me....sadly most of the memories now had to do with girls or the lack of. As if. There had never been a lack of woman in my life, but that's just it. I was fucking jealous even though she didn't seem to try in her relationship at least people gave a fuck to notice it. I don't know if i asked for her or needed the validation of being a confidante, but all the same.. "Well maybe you should talk to me. Maybe you should treat me real not just like your play thing to pick and up and put down faster than your empty drink"

The timing was impeccable as she had just slamed the last inch of her drink. "You're corny Gray....and not even in a cute way like Noah" That guy again. What was so good about him really? He can hardly rub two words together to make a sentence. He was skinny as a board. She probably just liked dicking him around. I decided to test her. "Speaking of using up how's he doing? Waiting at the door for his master to come?" "You sound stupid Gray, and not in a CUTE way like Noah." "Really Joni you wanna play that game? The second someone says what you don't like you just start making fun of them." I raised my voice in a mocking way "Hey i'm jooooni what's going on guys, oh my god you guys are all soooo coooll love you, wait i have to go sneak away to talk shit about you all to my REAL friends Jesse and dear, sweet, perfect Noah" I wasn't putting up with this shit from her. If she wants to be my friend she can, but not as a doormat anymore. "Really Gray you wanna go there. You wanna be my buddy buddy best friend you want me to" she took the effort to even make her fingers into air quotes, "talk to you Gray" I wasn't in the mood for anymore jokes. I looked her dead in the eye, "Yes Joni, I would. I wanna know why you're so defensive. I wanna know why you won't talk to anyone. I want to actually know you." "Doubt it" "Seriously..." I softened up and put my hand on hers. "Please Joni..." "You won't get it." "try me" "I need a hit first if you want me to cry about my past or whatever you're asking..." "I know you're fucking past Joni, everyone here knows the facts of everyone. What I don't know is why you're this way now, why you joke about everything, just.....why" She for a moment had her hands completely free and slammed them onto the table. "Why Gray....you wanna know why? Okay fine, my life was...."

I looked at her small hands on the table. She had delicate, long fingers, short fingernails, but they were clean. She was a pretty girl despite the perpetual tired look in her eyes. "...every day I had to make decisions to live or to die, and with Jesse around dying wasn't an answer just a fantasy. I did not hold life. until I had her. Things changed then. I changed..." Although she was skinny, she still had nice breasts, ones I could always see the shape of through her braless tanktop. Her skin was soft, I wondered how the rest of it felt. "...you can blame it on this or that, but i know what happened, i lived it an dfelt it so i know for fact when i feel this way now that it's a truth.." She didn't wear any makeup on her lips, but didn't need to. They were plump and pink and smooth. As she talked the corners curled in this charming way, I couldn't help but imagine putting my fingers on them...oh my god... holy shit I'm an asshole. She's fucking talking right now. I asked her to talk and i'm here just thinking of her body. I gotta tune in.

"-these things that happened, I don't feel special or tramatized. I'm not a prude, i'm not a victim, all that I know is that I made a mistake and I won't let that happen again." I felt confused and fished in my head for a suitable empathetic answer. I hope i don't ask something she already said. "Mistake like....?" She shook her head slightly in an offended way as to say "no shit" "I murdered my daughter Gray and that's the why or whatever you're looking for" She knew I knew that. I needed to dig deeper. She never talked about any of this with me in any serious way. I fished for something "Is it sorta like Aiden's guilt...about Jenn, killing something innocent and the guilt of that?" Her eyes turned into slits and then blank. "Really? You're going to compare me to him? He didn't learn anything. He never fixed anything. And as far as his morals? Pfft.." She pulled a cigarette out of a blue box and grazed around for a lighter. She took a deep sip of a water bottle of whatever and seemed to have a new vigor. "I'm actually insulted that you would even think that for a second....like Aiden....jesus christ....." "Well i don't know you don't tell me shit so i'm just trying to make some sense of it. I mean i've killed people, but not like someone...." "Someone you knew? Someone you looooooved? I killed my child. I was her mother. End of story. Can you tell me that's okay" A deeply sad look came over my face. I wondered maybe if she was drunk, but knew better that this was actually Joni being honest. She was opening up, trusting me. I know I can help her. "It wasn't your fault" A silence shook the room. Now her eyes widened with rage. "what did you say to me?" she nearly whispered. Now I was confused. I knew her guilt was beyond anything i'd ever felt, but this was an anger i'd never seen before. I thought she would have started joking a while ago. I elaborated. "I said it wasn't your fault. You were just trying to.... protect her. You were hurt too, you didn't mean to I mean..." "Oh boo hoo so sad, Joni is sad so she's gonna take her fucking problems out on the person that NEVER did anything wrong. And even if she did do something wrong, I would have loved her and accepted her " she started choking up a little, the guilt of knowing this chance wouldn't come back. I was her MOTHER, Gray. What doesn't make sense to you?" I'd seen Joni mad, but usually she just went to laizzes sarcasm or changed topics. I'd cut this vein length wise. I thought of anyway to fix things for her. "I mean.....couldn't they bring her back? They've brought lots of people" "Fuck you still don't get it do you? Why do you think I get along better with Noah? Not Aiden or Gippal or any other creep that killed people and claimed they didn't mean it. I have the guts to say that I meant to kill her. I wanted her dead and I want her to stay dead. I am a bad person. I did a bad thing. I made that decision when I was under the impression she would NEVER have a life again. And it's done. Having her back won't change the choice I made." She took a breath of air filtered through a cigarette and continued on... "Oh and your deep arch rival Noah whom you're so very curious why I talk to him and not YOU is as simple as he was a bad person too. And he's not now. And i'm not now and that's all we've got. Changing doesn't fix the past. Let us live 1000, a million years, and nothing will change that. But i'll let you know it's actual real change. Not just regrets manifesting into woulda couldas. There is no more room to make the same mistakes." I figured anything I said now wouldn't help so I just waited and watched. "So when I don't wanna screw someone Gray, it's not my 'trauma' it's because i will never, i mean never again risk becoming pregnant and being a mother and then killing my baby. I do not deserve a chance, I blew it. That's that. " She was deeply out of breath. Her hand shook as she looked for another cigarette. I felt bad what wasn't sure exactly about what. I guess I got her, but couldn't she see it wasn't her fault? She wasn't right, but I knew better that she'd completly lose her shit if I said that. She already was cooking two shots up for us and the thought of it made me sad. I didn't want to run from this conversation, but I didn't feel right to push her to talk more either. In dead silence we each did ours and sat on the edge of my bed staring at the floor. As her head started to droop and her cigarette ash lengthened, a horribly lonely feeling washed over me. She was right I couldn't understand. I didn't believe it and I felt even more guilty when I got jealous of that fact. I knew it was wrong when I thought of Joni's life, or hell even Noah's for that reason, but in some way I was jealous of the somehow shared pasts they had. I wanted someone to understand in that same deep way, of course it didn't take the horrors of the past to bring understanding, but who could be that person to me? What understanding did I need? I had to try something. I slipped on some clothes and slipped out of the room unneccesarily quietly. I climbled down the stairs to a row of bedrooms. Number 248 was a room I had never even considered visiting on my own. I let out a sigh and knocked three loud bangs. Despite the room being pitch dark, I knew someone was there and they definitly weren't sleeping. "The door slid open just a crack and a singular, scarily blue eye peeked out. "hello" he whispered almost like a question. "Uh hey Christian" We both paused. "Are you looking for someone, perhaps Aiden. He resides in his cooridore now. He told me to leave him alone until 3:14 am on the dot. Alas here I wait." "Uhm....no I was uhm....curious if..." He slowly pulled the door open a few more inches and I slid my foot in it casually and let myself in. "can i come in?" I said after the fact He always had a look of fear, but this time it was lined with excitement too. "Please yes do come in" He stepped backwards (as if he had a choice) three pacse and started shifting his eyes back and forth, desperatly looking for something in the immaculate....or rather bare room. Pushed against the wall was a pallet bed, the concrete slabs you see in jail cells. it had a thin futon, a white sheet, and a hospital thin pillow. A simple desk painted black was on the opposite side. A single lamp and a jar with nothing in it sat on his table. The weirdness of this dude resonated louder within his domain, which I didn't think was possible. Where did he put his clothes? or books? or fuck anything. I'd seen caskets I'd rather sleep in. I pulled the chair out by the desk and rotated it backwards and slid into it. He sat opposite with his knees tight and both gloved hands on them evenly. "So uhh, this is your room" He kept staring at me without blinking and nodded slowly. I realized until now I had never had a conversation with the guy. "So uhh....I was wondering if you could maybe show me something" He kept staring. "I was thinking maybe you could show me some of memories." He looked quite interested now. The eagerness made him shift in his seat. "You wish to explore the details of anothers mind, a curious feat, but one that may prove to change the out course of a singular destiny." "Yeaaaah, idk I just kinda wanted to have some maybe, you know understanding?" "Curious indeed. Wandering another's path to try and learn of the intimacy of companionship. Fascinating indeed so. What do you wish to see?" "I guess some of Joni's life. I don't know the important parts? Random parts? You're the memory mind guy right?"

"I do not pick and choose what I see. Taking on another's mind is larger than one could describe. I get every sensation, a lifetime in the graze of a finger tip. May I first ask you this, do you know your whole mind? Would you be able to account for and after you live the entirety of their life in real time, with real pain, real joy, real sensation, and then you return back into Christian's...I mean your mind. Can you comprehend?" "I guess if that's what it takes" "You will not be Joni when you return. You will be Gray still .You will know all though. You will have lived it. You will feel it. The entirety of her life you will live through in a second and then you will be here, within my dormitory, the same. Do you understand" I knew the dude made everything sound ominous, but this especially put me on edge. I figured I was here and I wanted to mean what I said. She claimed she stuck with her thoughts, the least I could do is at least stick to this choice I made. "Let's do it then" He began slowly slipping off his right glove. He looked like a child walking into Disneyland. The elated look on his face made things even eerier. "Now you will truly understand" he prophesized What the fuck did I just agree to?

#cheeseskittles

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kylo-ren-has-an-8pack · 6 years

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Theory (Kylux Oneshot - M)

A/n: Can be read as a sequel to Refuge (M) or standalone. Tldr: Hux used to fantasize about dominating Ren as a form of escapism from his day to day stresses, until Ren caught him in his thoughts. Thx to @vigilanteflower!

The definition of torture is something that Armitage Hux was distinctly acquainted with – to inflict severe mental or physical suffering. He had been responsible for ordering both variants of the word onto numerous traitors and in many fascinating ways, commanding it with a mere, dismissive wave of his hand. Depending on the mood, he might leave them to it or perhaps stay behind to watch on particularly special occasions. Torture was torture. This sort of nasty business was merely another side effect of war and the Rebellion and one he was rather desensitized to as an ongoing rule on good days, amused by it on better ones.

Despite his vast knowledge, aside from a few, fairly straight forward bouts of choking or man handling via the force, he never particularly identified as a victim of torture himself. Violence and intimidation by the Supreme Leader (either of them, really), were not new experiences for him.

But this was.

Weeks had passed since his nightly ritual of fantasy had been forced to end. Weeks since he'd felt properly relaxed or well slept. Weeks since he'd felt true safety in his own thoughts. Hux genuinely believed that he might be executed at any moment – in Ren's presence or not. He slept less, unable to ease into the lull of rest, neither in the darkness of his room nor calm of his mind that had been so recently desecrated. It had been two weeks since Kylo Ren had wriggled himself into the tight channel of his psyche and made himself quite known, and the idea that he could do it at any time was at the least, unsettling. It was the total lack of acknowledgement that troubled him most though.

He had expected repercussion. He almost wished for discipline the following day for no reason other than for this to be over and finished. He didn't enjoy fearing for his life – it was a distraction from duties and that was something he simply could not abide. Another choking, perhaps a beating, or a screaming tirade about how this is not how a Supreme Leader should be treated - anything like that would be appropriate and so very Kylo Ren.

The silence from him was nearly nonsensical. The new Supreme Leader was prone to temper tantrums, especially upon humiliation. If watching his newly promoted Grand Marshal's night time imaginings of fucking his leader into submission were not the definition of humiliation, he wasn't sure what would be.

(Unless, perhaps, he wasn't angry, he was curious?)

Hux hadn't realized he had been thinking about it. He'd barely had control over the musings of his mind, when he suddenly felt a presence, like the prickling of hairs on the back of his neck when he feels he is being watched. He swallowed hard but didn't move, stoic in his position on the bridge, overseeing as usual. He looked over his shoulder briefly to assure himself that no one was there, and then went back to his previous position.

A gasp left his lips when he felt the first touch, tentative, like fingers tracing the length of his bare cock.

"Sir?" Mitaka glanced at him, waiting for an explanation.

"What?" he snapped irritably.

"I-Nothing, Sir."

It wasn't until a few minutes later that he felt the phantom sensation once again. This time the touch was with purpose - a deep, sloppy stroke - like a fist curling around him and tugging lightly. It wasn't painful, nor was it devoid of pleasure. It was more like a boy fumbling around, than sensual, but it was still, distinctly someone touching him.

Hux looked briefly at Mitaka, but if the man had noticed the second gasp, he was refusing to acknowledge it.

The pattern continued. He would have a few minutes of peace, planning and barking orders as usual, and then the fingers would twist around him once more, getting more deft with practice.

"Lt. Mitaka," Hux said finally. "Has the Supreme Leader arrived back yet?"

"I don't think so, Sir."

His fist clenched at his side.

This time, the feeling didn't leave, instead the presence lingered, like a hand his pants, cupping him firmly. He could feel himself twitching fully to life, blood flow heading in the familiar direction. He glanced down to make sure the situation wasn't as obvious as it felt – thankfully not. He had to be imagining this. Lack of sleep, too much stress, no proper release for weeks. Just take a deep breath and- The grip tightened, stroking like a hand digging into his robes, squeezing, rubbing, as if analyzing which touch worked the best.

Hux bit his lip roughly as he felt himself harden.

"Stop that," he gritted out, only partially under his breath.

This time, half the bridge glanced up at him. Instead of acknowledging them, he waved them off and spun on his heel, leaving them to their confusion.

"I think you like it," Ren's voice echoed almost smugly his thoughts.

The fist squeezed him roughly and Hux nearly groaned.

" That's odd."

"What is?" he growled, his words hidden by the stomp is his boots.

" I can hear you moan in your head."

"What is the point of this, Ren?"

His only answer was more touch. It seemed to be confined to his clothing, as if a physical hand was actually there. He was fully hard now, and nearly to the door of his room. He wondered briefly if Ren was there waiting for him, entirely unsure of which option he preferred.

"I'm not." The voice answered for him, calmly. "Just testing out a theory."

"Oh, and what theory is that? What happens if you touch a cock?" The door whooshed as it slid open, and he walked inside, sighing in relief when he saw that he was, in fact, alone (so to speak). "I would assume you would test that on yourself, were you curious. Or do you not have one?"

Something about the intrusiveness and intimacy of the situation seemed to cause the wit he had pushed away for the past two weeks to make its smashing return.

"I knew the Jedi practiced celibacy, but I didn't imagine they were actually castra—"

That wisecrack seemed enough to distract the other man from his curiosity, as the invisible fist moved from his painfully hard cock, to his throat, pressing slowly inward as he pushed him against the wall.

" What did I say about being careful about your words?"

The hand loosened so he could speak.

"I believe you said my thoughts. Words were never ment-"

His airway further constricted again and Hux choked, the rest of his words dissolving into a gurgle as the grip around his throat tightened - so different from the abrupt, crushing blow of that night. It was only a moment later, when spots appeared floating in his vision and his lungs burned, that he realized that it would be vastly unfortunate to die like this, found strangled with a hard cock in his robes. Imagine the rumors.

He heard a soft laugh in his mind, cold but taunting, a sound someone would make when amused by a child.

" Until next time, Grand Marshal."

Hux fell to his knees, gasping for air, even more painfully hard than before Ren had uttered the new title. He wanted to ask him for clarification, but as quickly as he had entered his mind, the intruding presence was gone.

#kylux #kylux fanfiction #tlj #general hux #kylo ren #armitage hux #tlj spoilers #sorta #i write stuff #oneshot #vigilanteflower

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