#we don't talk about treats from 2018 and before lol

[trillyke]

Simblreen 2023 is approaching, so here is a little recap of the treats from last years in case you haven't grabbed them yet:

2022 / 2021 / 2020 / 2019

#simblreen #simblreen treats #we don't talk about treats from 2018 and before lol #you can still find them tho

[shinyzango]

Just curious, opinions on the different nutcrackers that you know of from all kinds of media and stuff?

Sorry if anyone asked this before I wouldn't know

Love your art and characters by the way keep it up!

Hohohohohohohoho, we be opening the Pandora Box here. Not that I'm complaining~

So, this is going to be a very long post as I've seen a lot of the movies. I also have a couple books which I can give my opinion, and I'm familiar with various apparitions in videogames and such. So yeah this is going to be a loooooooong post.

So buckle up, grab a drink and enjoy the ride into my personal madness o7

[ CAREFUL, VERY LONG POST UNDER THE CUT ]

So, let's start with movies as those are easier to grab and talk about for me. I'm gonna go with their year of release ot keep things organized.

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Shchelkunchik (1973)

Small silly dramatic guy, I like him! The animators did a great job animating his design and make him incredibly appealing. As for his human appearance, eeeeeh I don't really care for him. Definitely a shock the first time you see it lol But yes, adorable silly guy

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Nutcracker Fantasy (1979)

Li'l guy. It is Sanrio so it's bound to be on the cute side. The Nutcracker itself doesn't do much in the movie, but as for Fritz himself, I... honestly don't care about him. He looks pretty, but personality wise he needs to work on it pff Idk he just comes out as plain and a little arrogant... Still a fine fellow, though.

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Nutcracker: The Motion Picture (1986)

One of the two ballet-based movies I've seen, and definitely the better one of the two imo. And good lord I love this guy. He may look terrifying but good lord if he's silly. And I actually don't mind his human appearance as simple as it is. Silly man, this one.

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The Nutcracker Prince (1990)

HIM. MY BELOVED. THE GOOD LAD. Definitely my favorite, and not because this was my most beloved childhood movie. He is such a sweetheart with a hint of awkwardness but who can still kick your ass. And the final scene in the castle in the Italian dub is just *chef kiss* 10/10 lad.

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The Nutcracker (1993)

The other ballet-based movie... it's just Macaulay Culkin. And his nutcracker costume looks hideous lol. Nothign to say. Surprisingly, he's not the worst one.

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The Nuttiest Nutcracker (1999)

Ripoff Ken. He is incredibly dumb, and a tiny bit of a freak, but could be worse honestly kdjng They did Barbie before Barbie did it lol that's p much it.

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Barbie in the Nutcracker (2001)

THE OTHER GOOD LAD. I love Eric so much he's such a sweetheart wanting to fix his mistakes. It's so easy to root for him. As for his human appearance... he's just Ken skjngf 10/10 lad #2

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The Nutcracker and the MouseKing (2004)

Oh boy what to say about this one. Very hateful in the first half. At least he learns and becomes bearable at the last third of the movie. But I do like the nutcracker form, they made the blocky design work as well, like later on it's actually very nice to see him move. Still, horrible personality. Needs a slap in the face.

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Nutcracker in 3D / Nutcracker: The Untold Story (2010)

Hellspawn. Nightmare fuel. Abomination. Who the hell approved to that design?? And why did they pitch up his voice like that?? At least the kid playing human NC is not as bad, but good lord. 0/10 Just burn that puppet with fire, please.

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The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018)

This one just pisses me off. This one had so much potential, and the actor is actually good. It's just the way his character was written that is dog awful. They made him basically a dumb side character who barely does anything despite everyone in the movie treating him like he's a big shot. And the the fact that this was made by Disney just makes this worse. Just so much lost potential.

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The Nutcracker (???)

I actually don't know who made this movie or in which year, but I do like this one. The movie is comedic so he's a bit silly, but he's still quite enjoyable. And for some reason he reminds me of Waluigi.... Still, silly guy.

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That's all for the movies. There are a bunch more that I've missed or that I can't find anymore so my list of opinions on them is not complete. But one day...

---

As for other medias, hm... I have a couple books that are just the original story by Hoffman and the retell by Duman (of which I don't have much to say) and the graphic novel by Natalie Andrewson.

He's just a li'l guy, silly kid but enjoyable.

---

Lastly, while there are no actual nutcracker based games, I do want to mention a few skins and characters I am aware of for the hell of it. I'm pretty sure I will be forgetting some but eh.

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Terraria

Silly guy that speeeens. I wish I didn't have to kill them skgjfn.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Overwatch

As much as I now despise Overwatch for many reasons, I still love Zenyatta's nutcracker skin to death. Look at this silly guy. Definitely my favorite skin in the game.

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Saints Row IV

SR4 had a Christmas themed DLC, and among all the xmas reskins of the enemies, one was the terminator-like enemies being turned into Nutcrackers. And their design look so sick.

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Fortnite

I don't play Fortnite, but I do have to admit that the nutcracker guy looks neat. The crazy look fits the look quite well. If I would ever get in there (I doubt it but still), that would definitely be the skin I would use.

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Lethal Company

I don't play LC neither but I've seen videos of the nutcracker enemy in action, and yeah he looks silly. I love how he moves around.

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That's all of the apparitions that I can think of. I'm also aware of the point-and-click game made by Big Fish Games, but I have not played it myself. I really should do that one day...

---

Aaaaaand that's a wrap. I'm definitely forgetting a nutboi or two somewhere but these are all the ones I can think of at the top of my head that are officially published and all.

If we start talking about folks in social medias I've come to know over the years... I'm gonna be here for 3 months trying to talk about them dkjfgn

Well, hope you enjoyed this personal spiraling into nut madness :V

#nutcracker #the nutcracker

[miru667]

Hiii Miru!!! ♥︎

How is your day going?

Sorry if I’m bothering you, but I just wanted to ask you something that was in my mind for a while, what’s your opinion about the today’s Once-ler Fandom?

I mean, the new oncelings (like me) and all the new stuff that is here, you probably think that all of this is so different in comparison with how the fandom was back in 2012!

And also… do you miss something from the fandom? :p

Something that you don’t see here anymore or not as much as it used to be?

Hiii suemooon! Today was yet another tiring work day =w= but my coworker gave me hot chocolate mix and marshmallows today as a christmas present so that was nice! I hope you're doing well too.

To compare today's onceler fandom vs 2012's onceler fandom...man I could talk forever about this haha! This is all just from my own point of view of course but I would say, yes a lot of things are different, but a lot of things are the same, too.

UHHMMM extremely long post so it's under a readmore LOL

For the differences, a lot of them are simply due to the way the internet has changed in 12 years. In 2012, most oncelings were in their early 20s, and if you were younger than 16 you were extremely rare and we would be like "WOAH?? THEY'RE 15?? I HAVE NEVER SEEN A 15 YEAR OLD ON SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE". But today's oncelings are like, mostly teens now, I feel? I think it's because of tiktok, which didn't exist internationally until 2018, and also because of parents giving ipads to their kids at the age of 2. But yeah, to compare today to 2012 is like comparing gen z to millennials, the content and jokes were different and, due to 2012 being in the past, what was socially acceptable was different, too.

Another thing that's different is the way young people act towards characters nowadays, but let me specify some more. I really dislike the term "content" when referring to someone's personal creations because it just sounds so corporate. And I don't know how to feel when I see some new oncelings treat an old popular askblog character as if they're public property produced by some big company, instead of as an OC that someone worked really hard on. For example, Truffula Flu Camp Entre and Thneedville High AU are like "established media" to a lot of people out there now, as if they're well-known series recognizable to the masses (no, they're not). And as a result, I've seen people headcanon whatever they want on other people's OCs and ship them however they want without even knowing if the mods are okay with those ships anymore (it's better to be real careful, if you want my advice..). I've also seen new oncelings give other people's OCs to public merch-selling sites without the mods' permission, and I've even seen new oncelings try to take inactive askblog OCs as their own. Why? :( Just make your own OCs. You can do it! Hold my hand.

New oncelings don't understand what they're stepping into when they look at our old content from over a decade ago. Our personal feelings and our private friendships from those times, whether good or bad, are precious to us and I guess it's just a new phenomenon that we have to deal with now, so I don't have the answers for this yet. But I would encourage everyone to also look at new and current OCs in the fandom - which many people do, and I love to see that!! I also love seeing people making friends with each other and having fun with each other, that's what reminds me of the better days of 2012.

Another difference is the...landscape? We have tumblr DMs now and we have discord communities so a lot of things are hidden now from public view. RPs used to be public on tumblr but now we rp on discord and only people in the server can read them, and there are pros and cons to that. Also the fandom isn't dominated by only a handful of askblogs anymore. Things are WAY more balanced and evenly distributed now compared to 2012, where Swag Once-ler was the king of the fandom with 200 asks sent to him every hour and 4000 followers accumulated in just 5 months. (And I'm not dissing on Swag, I loved Swag too. I'm just stating my observations. In fact I miss him a lot ;-;)

As for what's the same...xD The excitement and passion that a lot of new oncelings have! I find that so cute. People being creative is the same, people gushing over the onceler and fandom ocs is the same, even if internet slang has changed. People being ambitious with projects is the same, even if those projects are never finished (but this is just general human nature). And PEOPLE BEING SWEET TO EACH OTHER is the same! I was nervous during 2020 since a lot of "ironic" fans joined that year but I'm happy to have seen some genuinely sweet people around in more recent years, just like there were in 2012. 😊

I also see a lot of the same movie analysis discussions each year, which makes sense since new people keep entering the fandom, haha! "The lorax movie could've been better", "the 1972 film is better", "I wish they kept biggering", "they should've expanded the factory scenes and taken out the car chase scene", "i hate the onceler's mom", "the movie's point gets muddled because too many people think his mom's to blame", "i can't believe zac efron and taylor swift didn't sing in the movie", and on and on, those never change, and I've seen these same discussions so often that I support the antithesis of each topic now, just to be a rebel. 😇 But usually I don't engage in those anymore, I just think "haha aww! they're having fun :]" and leave them be! But like, it truly reminds me of the earlier days. It's me who has changed, in this case.

And finally, "do you miss something from the fandom? Something that you don’t see here anymore or not as much as it used to be?" I mentioned Swag already, I also miss a lot of other askblogs that belonged to my friends, and most of all I miss a lot of my friends who've drifted away, and I hope they're all doing well. I had a lot of good times with friends over the years. Some of them were rp partners and I miss our rps and I miss their characters dearly, I can't think about it too hard or else I might cry. What else...I want to say that I miss the crazy nightblogging events we used to have but I don't know if I could keep up with those anymore if they happened again haha. Same with askblogs answering asks live, almost no one does that now because people want so much to make every ask pretty with a new pretty artwork. But like, even if that comes back, again I don't know if I could keep up. So I suppose everything had its place!

Things will continue to shift and change, and you never know what the future holds so it's best to just keep going. I'm still making new friends and new good memories in the fandom each year, and I'm grateful for that.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for this ask and thanks (and sorry) to anyone who read through all of this!!

#miruask #suemooon #i spent 7 hours typing this LOL #reference

[nanistar]

may i ask why you hate mapleshade? like is it more of a fandom thing/author thing or do you just not like her character? sorry if thats a weird question lol

i think the idea behind her character is cool but the erins are the erins and they fucked it up imo. also the way the fandom treats any discussion about her and other characters in her book is so annoying i cannot stand going into the mapleshade tag on tumblr

which is a shame cause like i said, i really like the concept of her character and i feel like it had alot of potentional

not a weird question, i get it. i gotta start by saying i have no ill will against people who like mapleshade or even like the points i'm about to say. btw! sorry this is long i got really into it

starting chronologically (according to canon, not publication)(publication order is: all ivypool darkforest books (2011 and prev) crookeds promise (2011), great battle (last hope 2012, she permadies here) and maples vengeance (2015)

i actually really liked mapleshade's vengeance, all things considered. it comes last in the mapleshade storyline according to publication date, and up until then we really didn't know much about her, and i believe this is where she gets a personality other than "random DF lady" and "rude ghost villain". the erins are not good writers by any means, but i felt that mapleshade's internal monologue and the way she saw the world was genuinely pretty decent. they portrayed her as obsessive and manipulative and as an unreliable narrator. it was one of the first books i read upon returning to the fandom in 2018 and it was a thrill to read, because i hadn't been spoiled on it.

the erins have a habit of writing surprise/accidental pregnancies as plot points, which has the implication of like… flings/one night stands. it's best not to think about it. it's pretty obvious upfront that appledusk is not as in to her as she is in to him, but she doesn't see it. she talks about him in her narrations as a sweet and loving man and talks about their family and future together, but when we the readers finally see him, he's calloused and doesn't really care about her. i think she even sees him with reedshine at a gathering and gets mad before she thinks "oh he's just doing that so no one gets suspicious" (not quoting or anything, i havent read the novel since 2018) girl. their relationship was obviously just a fling to him, but to her they were in love. i liked the way this was written as opposed to all the other times in warriors weve seen a man have a hissy fit because a girl rejected him. (ashfur is the glaring example but also crowfeather, brambleclaw) her denial and refusal to accept what she was seeing (that she was the side piece) was the interesting part.

she has her children and then ravenwing spills the beans. why on earth would he do that? why would it benefit the clan or anyone? from a logistical standpoint, thunderclan lost 3 potential new warriors and mapleshade never implied she was going to riverclan. anyway, he didn't even have proof. he just assumed. i think he rightfully got what was coming for him, since if he would have kept his mouth shut, 7 cats including himself wouldn't have died. sorry mini rant i don't like him. anyway we know the rest of the story. kits die, maple kills ravenwing for telling her secret, she kills frecklewish for not helping (no, she couldn't have jumped in to save the kits without probably dying herself but she COULD have stood up for maple in thunderclan, and she was upstream so she could have yelled out and warned maple of the flood but im NOT getting into that and i dont care) and then she goes to kill reedshine but kills appledusk instead. did he deserve it? he was kinda a dick but mapleshade was like stalker-obsessed with him (i think she uses the phrase "my appledusk" in her narration but i might be wrong) after what was ostensibly a one night stand. perchpaw wounds mapleshade to the point where once she flees the scene, she dies of blood loss. cool

the story of a mothers love (and a mother's loss) is an age-old tale. in a franchise where all female characters are doomed to become boring cookie-cutter mothers, this loss and violent rage was awesome.

everyone told me to read crookedstar's promise, because it was the best super edition. i.. do not agree with that. tbh i thought it was long and boring and went nowhere. crookedstar suffered many tragedies in his life, and he lost everyone he loved, and then the book suddenly ends with him going "im ok (:" and dying. (i was reading a pdf and not a physical copy so it was VERY abrupt for me. i legit sat there like.. so that's it? i read 500+ pages for that?) i can't really blame mapleshade for this (since shes not real) but it does factor in. her idea of revenge against appledusk was to torture an injured baby? who then grew up and had no idea who the fuck appledusk was? why not raise him and give him the love he craved so that when the time came, he would be more likely to do her bidding?? her motives here make no sense. not super important. anyway.

and then she's seen occasionally in the dark forest and she tries to drown ivypaw for no reason once. idk she was obviously just a background character in these scenes (since they came first) but the fans saw a female in the dark forest and were like. thank god a woman. can you blame them. then the erins built her up from that.

anyway mapleshade has this generations long story of manipulating younger cats, and a POV book where she's obviously obsessive, controlling, stalkerish and chooses brutally uncommon violence as a way to get back at those who wrong her. (she unburies ravenwing's body so crows can eat it, and she uses adders to kill frecklewish, despite the fact the snakes could easily go for her.) she puts HERSELF in danger to do these things because she's impulsive, she justifies all her actions to herself by saying its revenge for her children and in the end, she pushes the last remnants of the kittens she thinks she's fighting for away. this is a cool story about a woman who's pushed to the edge and takes everyone down with her. for ONCE its not a man with deadwifepain.

and what does the fandom do

they girlbossify her. they fight over if she's in the wrong or not (she is. she killed people.) they take everything about her that made her compelling and turn her into "grr my husband cheated on me and me kids are dead. sad." she gets turned into the most basic, boring, cookie cutter "evil" lady. she kills people for fun and not because she had a reason to or a goal (in her mind). she suffers the most tragic kind of loss that there is and gets no time to grieve before she is run out of her home, and her reaction to this is pure RAGE, and the fandom turns her into this boring, slay QUEEN!!! (not the pregnant cat kind), always been evil, always been hardcore, ~So CrAzY~, "my eyeliner is sharp to stab men" girlboss. where's the nuance. where's the passion!!? she's a miserable, impulsive, manipulating failure. she blames others for her mistakes and bad judgment and punishes others for her shortfallings. she can't be vulnerable and broken, she can only cry because dead kids and then kill evil husband and evil husbands wife. she's even sometimes portrayed as like "boss" of the dark forest, wrangling all the men. barf.

so to answer your question, it's the general fandom* portrayal that i hate, but i honestly wouldn't trust the erins with her at this point. (the erins are influenced by their fans, for example (old person voice) back in my day, firestar and scourge being brothers was just a fan theory.) i'm glad they permakilled her in the great battle so they cant bring her back to ruin anything. actually thinking about her to write this out and reflect on why i don't like her made me sympathize for her. i like text mapleshade with a little bit of fanon sprinkled in for flavor.

and hey. usually when the fandom adopts a character, they're right. the fandom likes to get really in to random bg/side characters and give them lives they would never have in canon. but sadly (or not, depending on your opinion), when those get popular and breach containment, they spread everywhere and suddenly people think this IS canon. look at how many of us thought that brambleclaw killed hawkfrost directly after he killed hollyleaf, because that was the easy way to portray the great battle in MAPs, only to have someone point out, years after this has become the common sequence of events, that brambleclaw actually hunts him down, brings him back to camp, and then murders him POW style!!!

*btw. im in no way saying that all mapleshade-based projects or aus or whatever are bad, even if she is sexy girlboss in them. some of my favorite maps portray her like that.

anyway. TLDR:

everyone say "i'm sorry mapleshade"

#mapleshade #sorry this is long and if i got facts incorrect i dont really care #apologize to mapleshade for what weve done

[boyswanna-be-her]

that was truly an insanely out of pocket ask. anyway it makes me happy to hear about what makes you happy, and how your day to day is going, and what you're excited about. hope you have a good rest of your day <3

Thanks! Their apology meant a world of difference to me. The ask also lead to me reaching out directly to FIVE different long time IRL friends who had seen me in the past three days before receiving the ask. Getting a temp check with people who have known you a long time and seen you recently is definitely helpful, and although the ask made me spiral for like 2 hours, it also generated some unexpectedly affirming conversations, where people who have all known me since 2005-2008 all independent of one another basically said that they had indeed noticed that I'm more talkative and outgoing lately, but that it hadn't pinged them in any sort of concerning way. I fuck heavily with the opinion esp of 3/5 of the people in this regard because that proportion of this group had previously reached out to me in a panic worried about me because they perceived me as so sad/detached. Two of them in particular got me engaged with environmental volunteering immediately after all my 2018 bullshit where I was in super heavy PTSD territory, and I can directly credit them for a lot of connections and drives I have today. And 2 of them have also conducted mandatory wellness checks when I didn't communicate with them often enough via text for them to be comfy. And I love them for that in ways they'll never really understand.

Anyway. The general message was that nobody had been alarmed, the ask seemed out of left field to them (they don't read my blog, but they're all aware of it and tumblr-smart), and that they'd all been happy to be happy for me this year.

No ragrets. If nothing else, being able to reach out to so many friends who have been with me for so long but also so recently was validating, and that none of them were worried about me is great. I don't think I would've had any other impetus to request all those low-consequence feedback seshes had I not received the ask. None of the people pinged have anything to gain from lying to me and again, in the past, the majority have not had a problem expressing concern about my mental health.

So like. Yeah that shit threw me super hard yesterday and I immediately re-evaluated the way that I express myself here and elsewhere. I feel like I had recently re-channeled my early days of tumblr where everything was highly unfiltered, capslock and screaming in tags was quite normal, I was a small fish in a big pond, etc--because that's when it was an exciting era for me as a creator on here. I miss a lot of that energy.

And full disclosure, in my relationship before last, the one that really and truly broke my heart on top of losing Jonathan to suicide, we didn't share ANYTHING publicly. And I was so deep. And then they broke up with me horribly a month after Jonathan died and I found him!!!!!... well, how could anyone on the outside mourn a relationship they didn't know about when my RECENTLY (for my safety lol) ex-husband had just died horrifiecally? They didn't know. The scale was so weird for everyone but me. Only a handful of people even knew I was in a new relationship that i perceived as supportive and, like, a soulmate type gig. I was so sure of everything that I didn't share ANYTHING and that super fucked me over in the end.

It was awful and alienating and I wished all along that we had shared more. So I don't wanna do that shit anymore. I'm excited about shit in my life and people in my life and meeting people and finding gigs and I don't want input on that, so please treat me like the 38 year old human being I am. I have been through more bullshit than you could possibly understand, even if you read every post I ever made here, even if you were my best friend who I told everything to (doesn't exist but good concept). Assumptions are unwelcome. I'm old and I'm angry and I have energy and that's what's up. I just want people to be on board to see this middle aged piece of shit maybe like find a reason to live again and not die alone.

[dearmrsawyer]

am decidedly not leaving bed today!! i feel like i've been run off my feet the last few weeks and i don't need to go anywhere or do anything today so i will not :) yesterday i hosted a fundraiser for the Cancer Council, an Australian org that does tonnes of things like fund research, offer support services to people with cancer, educate and train educators. Last year i hosted it with one of my colleagues but she did a lot of the heavy lifting. This year she's on maternity leave so i did it myself and it was v successful!! We raised over $500 :) So i am feeling v pleased and tired.

i have been thinking about my general state of being and that although i often feel like there is a LOT going on in my day to day i do think that so far this year i've been in a good place. last year was mostly about sitting in a ditch of despair sdfklkdl but the composition of my life this year has been such that i haven't been in that place. what a treat! also my house has not flooded 3 times in the last 6 months so that is certainly nice!

i've had a bit more regular contact with some of my close friends. every month i Zoom with Ellen, my friend from Norway. She's my OG online friend, we met in a Lost forum when i was like 14 LOL, we started doing regular Zooms during covid but have had a good run going lately. Although we did miss the last one because she's hecticly working on her thesis, but regardless it feels like we've been built such consistency and its so good to have that monthly check in. I've also started going out to dinner once a month with my IRL best friend, who i think i saw a grand total of 3 times in 2020-2022 lol, and THAT has been so nice. Human connection outside my household! Who would have thought!!

Also i have not been to so many live events within a 6 month period since like 2018?? All those postponed showed finally caught up with me lol. In Feb i saw Harry with my best friend and the Vamps on my own (i love a solo concert experience), in March I saw MCR with my best friend, in April I saw an Aussie comedy duo called Lano and Woodley with my family (they're like the root of mine and my brother's sense of humour) and in May i saw Kisschasy with an old highschool buddy that I still talk to a lot when i get my act together and reply to his whatsapp messages rip. So much to do!!!! I think of all the shows, my fav night this year was definitely with the Vamps, i just love them. They are so fun to share a room with, their show was so small and at a venue i love/feel comfortable at, and it was their 10 year greatest hits tour so they played all my old favs :') I love them. I do feel like i need a rest from 'events' for a bit now 😂 but it was so nice to have things on the horizon and to get dressed in clothes I haven't worn for 3 years and even to be overwhelmed by uncomfortably large events in the company of friends lol.

Oh I also finished preparing my garden! I haven't planted anything because timing-wise it just worked out that i didn't finish until a couple of weeks ago, and with winter around the corner i don't particular want to set up my garden right now. But it's all dug up and ready to go, so i've laid tarps over it and it will be ready when Spring comes :) I'll need to order some good soil and then pull out my seeds that I have from before we moved. I'm not sure they'll still be good? But we'll see what happens! I can just buy new ones if necessary. So i'm really excited that the second the season is right i can just GET GOING!! No more waiting around for the rain to stop so that i can pull out the forest of weeds, no more STUPID rose bush roots in the way, it will be go time babey.

I have been reading a lot this year, I don't think it is a coincidence that my mind has been more able to manage absorbing books now that i don't feel i am in a ditch of despair lol, my 2023 brain is like perhaps we CAN do more than passively absorb shows we've watched twenty times. i mean we are still doing that in spades for sure, but looking at words on a page for recreational purposes does not feel like too much work! our weekly afternoon tea's at work are currently book-focused too, each week someone picks a genre and we all talk about a book in that genre that we love. Me and one of my colleagues are compiling the list of books mentioned every week and sharing them on Teams as a record, its been soooo fun. The last 2 weeks were scifi and fantasy (aka what i care about) and I chose the long way to a small angry planet and The Princess Bride. Next week's topic of biography though so my run of luck has come to an end sjkdgjkdf but its been vvv fun to basically have a blook club every week! I'm hoping i get picked in the next couple of weeks so i can choose LGBT+ books a) bc it will be Pride month and b) bc i recently read that is how it always is and LOVED it so much and am v interested in what recs my colleagues will have in that genre, but there are a couple of other people that i reckon could choose that if they're picked first (which i am ay-okay with) so my backup genre is books that have adaptations (so i can talk about six of crows 😈)

anyway its chilly and i will be reading fic in bed with Sawyer for the remainder of today, what more could one want

#just taking a bit of stock of my year so far! have been feeling reflective this week #tp

[vro0m]

Bottas almost quit in 2018 as well as 2015 as he said life at merc was difficult and he struggled with being made a team player rather than seen as a potential champion and it made him lose his love for f1 also he mentions understanding what went wrong between nico and lewis in this article too which i thought was an interesting comment to make

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thesportsrush.com/f1-news-valtteri-bottas-reveals-why-he-was-on-the-verge-of-quitting-formula-one-due-to-lewis-hamilton-in-2018/%3famp

Oh sorry meant to also include these links as well in the last ask, he also mentions here about how the team treated him with the "hierarchy" comment, also found interesting that toto saying he understands how it would affect bottas badly in the mental sense but he saw it as necessary to do (relates to your other anonymous about the teams putting profit and success above all else), a lot of these are quotes from interviews done with dts but unfortunately I don't watch the series so I can't tell you which ep

https://www.planetf1.com/news/valtteri-bottas-nearly-quit-2018/

https://www.planetf1.com/news/valtteri-bottas-quitting-team-orders/

Also found these later articles interesting like him talking about feeling appreciated at alfa-romeo with "no negative pressure" and touching on what lewis is like as a teammate, I wish he had elaborated more on what he meant by alfa romeo being a "race team" vs merc as a "company team" (well I wish he elaborated on a lot of what he said as it is all very interesting and gives good insight), think also the comment on 1 year vs multi years contract is interesting too as we have seen other drivers speak about how mentally difficult the one year contracts are

https://www.planetf1.com/news/alfa-romeo-more-race-team-compared-company-mercedes-valtteri-bottas/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.gpblog.com/en/amp/108697/bottas-compares-alfa-romeo-to-mercedes-i-feel-a-bit-happier-in-life.html

https://www.planetf1.com/news/valtteri-bottas-alfa-romeo-attitude/

––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Anon, thank you for the links! I adore you for looking into this in my stead.

The content in the first link you sent and your first ask seemed very familiar so I went back to the previous ask I answered about this and I checked my links again and it’s actually exactly the same content there was in the first one I used, and it turns out that it indeed included the part about him almost quitting in 2018. See, I did say I remembered reading that at some point but couldn’t find it anywhere and it turns out I just don’t know how to read, lol. That’s on me, sorry about that.

What it says about him struggling with the fact he didn’t beat Lewis and the fact he was made a second driver, I did mention in my previous post and in the original essay post that sparked all of this.

Your third link shows that Valtteri knew or felt exactly what I mentioned in that essay about Lewis being “clearly although implicitly their n°1 driver”. I think what you say about Toto saying he knows the mental effect it had on him rather comes from this article which is linked inside the article you sent. I do think it goes with what I was saying about Toto being a manager and the team being there to turn a profit and nothing else.

I did see some articles about him saying he feels much better at Alfa Roméo this year, which is good to read after the likes of the first ones you sent which are a real tough read.

I think what he means, which I think we also heard before from some other people but I can’t put my finger on it right now, is that Alfa Romeo is more of a sports team, really focusing on the sport and the racing, when at Mercedes there’s a lot of things that come with it that are more “branding”, like loads of marketing gigs you have to do and stuff like that (I think George mentioned it earlier this year when he compared Williams to Merc as well? I think he said something like he had a lot more work outside races etc.). I think that’s in part what he means in your last link when he says he couldn’t “fully concentrate on the actual work of driving”, added to the pressure of being in such a team which is enormous as he explains.

The penultimate link doesn’t work for me but I think you’re referring to this? The contract thing is very interesting, I hadn’t realised he only had 1-year contracts this whole time, that’s really harsh. I can see how it would hamper car development with a team, because that’s long-term work and why put the time and energy it requires if they and you don’t know whether you’ll be there the next year? Also obviously it does not make you feel welcome, nor valued, nor wanted, nor like you’re a real part of the team. It’s shocking really.

Thank you for your contribution Anon! I will add a link to this post in the previous ask to clarifying things.

#Sorry if there's typos or some of what I wrote is nonsense it's 2 am lol #f1 #valtteri bottas #vro0m's asks

[gifsbysimplysonia]

Feliz cumpleaños to my favorite lead singer who for some reason is still wearing the American Eagle Dip Dye flannel I bought him in 2018 🥰 that Rafaela threw to Diony who has always been SO kind to me and my friends when it came to a7x. What a run on sentence 😄 And after the cut is way more nonsensical but intensely personal rambling about this dude. You've been warned.

I been a fan of this dude for coming up on 18 years now- wtaf!!!! And for a very nice stretch of time, I was extremely blessed to see him after shows to talk for a minute or three (though to be honest, i was tongue tied most of the time and just 👀 lol).

At that time in my life, people I admired didn't treat me that great. I was constantly looked at or treated in a way that made me extremely self conscious; I was constantly the oldest fan at shows without kids and I've always been fat and not too attractive in the face. Then I'd be meeting musicians or wrestlers I was so excited to be supporting only to have them act like it was a chore to take a photo with me or keep a distance when doing so...only to hug and smile and be super enthused when moving onto the skinny pretty fans next in line. My self esteem was non existent.

Then I met this dude for the first time, on a sunny warm day in April 2006, Houston Texas. He waved me and my friend across the street, signed our stuff, was fine to take photos with us, and when it was my turn he put his arm around me without hesitation. That one tiny gesture that I'm betting he didn't think about at all meant so much to me. All he did was treat me like he treated everyone else (which I saw that night after the show as he was the only one from the band to come to the group of fans waiting around, and he signed all the things and took so many photos), and something in my heart shifted a bit. Spesh after I looked down and realized he was barefoot? Dude stood there for 4 or 5 minutes, in bare feet, on warm concrete as he signed stuff and took pics before he went onto his bus. Liiiiiiike....

After that, every run in was the same or better as his behavior remained consistently kind and respectful. For me and my friends, Shadows became a kind of unofficial mascot cuz if we didn't see any of his band mates after a show, we seemed to always see him. He always was attentive to whomever was speaking to him, and even when it was the same question for the one millionth time (when are you gonna scream again?!?! 🙄), he would patiently answer. Dude constantly made time for fans, and even in the more recent years when the band wasn't touring, he has demonstrated that he cares A LOT about fans and wants to try and give them the best experience possible (even if they fight him tooth and nail).

I haven't had the pleasure of seeing him face-to-face since April 2011 and to be an absolute brat for a moment 😫😫😫 But my 2 besties got to meet the band when their last album, The Stage, was released. I think October 2016 but, like, don't quote me cuz I'm the worst with dates if they aren't on my list, ha. There were meet n greets in NY and LA; @psycholunatics went to NY and @jillybean1217 went to LA and both had wonderful experiences. I'm always grateful when my besties are treated like the Queens that they are🙏🏼🙏🏼

Back in January 2018, my friend at the time Rafaela went with me to a show in Green Bay Wisconsin despite not being a fan of the band (forever grateful to her for helping me drive AND for being the one to use her magic to make stuff happen, as she did for me CONSTANTLY in life). Thanks to her, the American Eagle Dip Dye flannel I bought him - cuz his other ones at the time looked wrecked:

Got into the hands of their tour manager. And IMAGINE MY ELATION AND DISBELIEF when HE WORE IT THE NEXT DANG NIGHT?!?!? From my IG post at the time it happened:

I'm cringe and I know that. But, like, joy? Is so difficult to find so when I find it, I have a habit of clinging to it like a crab. Cuz it often seems to come out of nowhere, so randomly, and for SO LONG I believed myself to be a person who wasn't WORTHY of good things happening to them, or who was conditioned by how I was treated to think I wasn't WORTHY of basic respect. And honestly, this dude is just someone who has been SO consistently kind and things he had NO CLUE would mean anything to me (like wearing this shirt) would happen & hit me at times in life I really needed a pick-me-up or reminder that there is good in the world.

Since January 2018, my friends and I have spotted the flannel out in the world 13 times, with the 13th being JUST LAST WEEK at a show in Canada. I will forever be impressed with Shadows actually keeping and wearing stuff til he can't wear it anymore (that white Metallica tee? Who knows which one I mean? 😄) AND I will forever shake my head in disbelief anytime I see him wearing this American Eagle Dip Dye flannel cuz like....🥰

Here's wishing him the happiest of birthdays, sending him gratitude for the person that he is and the extreme generosity he's shown myself and my friends repeatedly, and hopes for him receiving all of the good he sends to so many other people 🙏🏼💜

Happy Birthday and thank you for everything, M Shadows 🎊🎉🎂🥳

#personal #m shadows #avenged sevenfold #a7x

[caatws]

I saw vol 3 again because I wanted a second pass at it before landing on my final thoughts. The conclusion I've come to is James Gunn didn't want to talk about Gamora being murdered in the movie because he knew it would provide a strong contrast between Gamora being killed in Infinity War and how he wrote this whole story about Rocket deserving to live and not have his life taken away by his abuser. The contrast isn't pretty. But the truth is nothing about how Thanos treated Gamora was pretty. Covering that up doesn't make it go away. He didn't want to do the hard thing of acknowledging that 2018 Gamora wasn't getting a happy ending with eveyone else. That 2014 Gamora wasn't getting a full story because her life got thrown off course when she came to the future and she didn't get much time or space in vol 3 to reconcile the different parts of herself.

I noticed a few people have been really confused or upset about James Gunn calling the ravagers Gamora's real family. After seeing vol 3 again I'm confident in saying his comment is wrong and also insulting to the entire situation. The premise of the movie is Gamora has been avoiding the guardians and hearing anything about a different life she had. I really do wish this had been explored more but for now I'll add it to my list of things I wish were better for Gamora. As the film continues eventually Gamora finds her own rhythm with the guardians. We see her be the one to stab the High Evolutionary and unmask him. This is actually a pretty meaningful moment when considering what went down in IW and also how at times Gamora isn't used to her potential in the movie. After that she's all in helping save the animals and kids and generally being a guardian. She also has a sweet moment with Groot at the end where she can finally understand him and they have what I would say is an exchange that parallels vol 2 when Gamora stopped to tell Groot goodbye and make sure he would be okay before leaving with Ego. This change in her comfortability with the guardians and with knowing about and experiencing a life she had been avoiding has to mean something. It wouldn't make sense for her to not be considered family when going through things together and finding understanding and moments of connectivity is what makes the guardians a family. The family keeps getting bigger. It's added Mantis, Kraglin, Nebula and even Adam and blurp by the end. Why wouldn't she be family too. So I don't know what James Gunn was talking about. Either he worded his comment badly, forgot how he's written his own movies or he was being a jerk to Gamora, but either way I don't really think his comment needs defending. Also I'll add to this that Gamora having a change in how she feels around the guardians and having moments with Groot and Peter is probably the best writing for her in a sea of other stuff that wasn't written very well. If I were James I would want to hype that up more not less. It's the saving grace along with Zoe's acting which he honestly should be praising because she carried that role where the writing failed.

Sorry this got so long but I have been saving up all my thoughts. Thanks for letting myself and others share even if it's cost you some followers. That's there loss though because you're awesome.

yeah the contrast between rocket and gamora's overall stories from vol 1 to now is just....Wow Choices Were Made. kinda along the same lines of how i think gunn was maybe more unserious abt the gamora thing than i would've expected, i'm wondering if he had this like way more optimistic pov that like 2014!gamora finding a new/additional family away from the gotg would be like a fix-it or catch-all of sorts and that ppl just wouldn't rly care abt it deeper than that...? cuz otherwise this whole thing is just so messy and not cohesive lol

but ty anon !!!!! <3 i'm always here to process mcu nonsense with everyone <3333 we can suffer together LMAOOO

#ask #the gamora situation #also i agree w everything you said !!

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

I'm kind of bitter about jungkook being singled out for the world cup with a possible solo song because he's conventionally Man and Het and the one people expect to like and enjoy football when that's always been jimin, who's also the best player too as far as we saw. But of course jimin has not been considered because he doesn't fit the mold. And I'm tired of jimin not being seen as a man enough, of being treated like lesser then, have the famous women treatment and insults thrown at him from everywhere. It's not fair

I wouldn't say I'm bitter, but it's more of the feeling like when you were expecting something and get something else lol. Pretty much the same as I felt when it was announced that With You would be a duet; I thought it was Jimin's solo but then it didn't turn out that way and I wasn't upset but there was that feeling of having to get used to something different than what you were expecting. I kind of feel the same way about the world cup thing because it was said at first that BTS would do the song, and obviously we all thought that it would be the whole group.

Now, Jungkook has always been BTS brand, if there's one way bighit could summarize BTS as a brand, it would be JK. He's quintessentially theee idol from his singing and dancing to his looks to the way he interacts with fans, it doesn't get any more idol. That's objective facts, and it's there whether anyone acknowledges it or not, maybe you don't like him as a person or whatever, but he is talented, that's what I mean by objective facts. And like you said, which is something I 100000% agree with, he's objectively Het and Man and commercially easier to digest than other members. Some people would even tell you he doesn't "look too Korean". Even if he turns out not straight, even then, his gender expression is not blaring any sirens and none of us actually know anything about his love life. So he's conventionally het, masculine, singer, dancer, attractive and hot, evasive enough to keep people interested but not actually telling, that's literally idol 101.

On top of that, he also has a lot of subjective elements "projected" (for lack of a better word) onto him, like he's the baby of the group, everyone loves a Jungkook ship, people see themselves in him because they see him as awkward, shy, gay, introverted, etc. Some people even think he's neurodivergent (which is a tremendous stretch). Idols kind of need to be a blank slate where people can see themselves reflected.

I've talked before about when there were news in 2018 that JK had bought his own apartment and bighit immediately put out a statement about how they "couldn't confirm". That was November 2018 and before that we already knew Taehyung, Yoongi, Jin, Hoseok had bought their own apartments and there were no statements about them but with Jungkook suddenly there was. This was when they were still "living together" on record, so I remember thinking they couldn't say the youngest had left home because then what happens to the happy family story? Mind you, late 2018 was the year almost everyone got their own homes and by 2019 they were already arriving to airports and schedules on very obvious designed sets that made sense with their known addresses (Hoseok+JK, Jin+Yoongi, Taehyung alone, sometimes with Namjoon, Jimin alone or sometimes with Namjoon too).

I strongly believe he was chosen by the company to represent the group in Qatar because of everything mentioned above, and he will probably keep being selected as the "face" of the group to participate in events that the group was supposed to participate in. Namjoon also fits a lot of what I said about JK, adding to that his position as leader and that he speaks English so I think he will be chosen to "represent" the group in the same or similar ways.

[hey-its-isaac]

regarding september 3rd, being 15, and heartbreak

this account was originally made because i wanted to write poetry

i just ended up repurposing it, which is why i had already had one at the time. made it in january 2018, hey its isaac

prior to now, that would've been the lowest point of my life. i never talked about this much, but i hated myself. looking back, what i did was the right and mature thing. i didnt go into a relationship i wasn't ready for. i didn't talk about how i felt though, because i wasn't the one that was hurt. not in my mind, anyway. i became quite the bad person from that self-hatred. but is any 15 year old good?

i didn't see it as a mature decision as i do now however. back then i thought i was a monster. i fell into a horrible depression. i starved myself because that's what i thought a depressed person should do. i ended up below 100 pounds. i don't think i ever said this, but that's what i wanted.

i wanted people to notice, but i panicked when they did. i had an eating disorder, i don't know if i mentioned that ever. it was self-inflicted, but i had it nonetheless. i would pull up bmi calculators often, hoping it would show i was anorexic. i was obsessed, i thank god there wasn't a scale in the house. it took years to correct it, one of which i spent in the same white zip-up hoodie everyday. threw it out, don't like to look at it much now.

even now its kind of hard to resist that urge - especially now when i hate how gaining weight looks on me. one thing ive got going for me, and i'm not too humble to acknowledge, is i do have significant pretty privilege. and well - i wear the tired rotting look well, and i know people find me attractive. a little egotistical i guess, but i see the reactions i get. i know im treated differently.

people like me. people liked me in high school. liberal moderately/ironically funny skinny guy, people like that i guess. countless people i was either too dumb to see liked me - or i just didn't want to see at the time. i was a good kid, loyal to a friend, or perhaps my own anxiety.

it's unfortunate for them they like me, i suppose.

i digress, that period of depression extended out.. into forever, maybe. maybe a brief period of feeling better in late 2019 (coincidentally when i gained some confidence and alone time), before it all got bad again. then steady downhill climb, steep dropoff, and wherever we are now

holding a person's life in your hands does something to you. being the reason someone is still breathing the next morning is a lot of pressure. that certainly didn't help me back then.

somebody had to do it, however. and i suppose i'd prefer that she be alive today, even with the effects it has had on me to this day. i don't wish death on anybody, and would give myself up for others.

unfortunately for me.

people gravitate to me. people tell me their deepest secrets and traumas. i don't know why. im kind. i listen. i suppose i feel safe to people. in the time i've spent drifting since march, people have grown close to me. people have gotten hurt for this, out of my own mistakes, my distance, me as a person, but i'd like to think i've provided more good than bad. i do try

i don't know what it is about me that makes me different. but i know that i am. that's something me and her shared, our effect on people. i'm not surprised we were so horrible together. picture two positive magnets. a powerful attractive force, but we repel when together. well, scratch that, probably a powerful negative force.

i've never ever felt like i was where i was supposed to be in life. i know where i need to go though. and i'll get there one day. i mean, i've got time. and there's time for the YA romance to come through for me still. wouldn't mind dating a cute boy sometime. scrolling back in this tumblr, who would've guessed i was bi lol.

i still do like poetry, but i'm no good at writing it. but i do like to be symbolic and mysterious , as this seems to show

for such a privileged and well off person, i've managed to make every wrong decision possible. i've made what could have been the easiest life in the world a hellscape. and i only seem to be making it worse. there's a path to make it better, and im following it. surely things can't always be like this, i don't want to be another tragedy.

well, i just felt like this account, which once meant a lot to me, deserved a proper sendoff.

so, there it is.

see you in oregon,

isaac jae

[rimdowidar]

After #32-Days-of-No-Contact

Writing is my tool to heal my overwhelming thoughts, and it helps me to get all of my ideas so I can track myself whenever I'm repeating the same feelings and thoughts.

So, what do we have here now? Just documenting my healing journey. and why am I making this public? because why not.. also who would really check this blog anyway!

So, someone entered my life in June 2018, and after about a year of knowing each other, we were in a relationship. it was a bit on and off because how I was always fighting over his lifestyle, and how he used to be cold sometimes, but overall he was being nice to me and treated me well.

In September 2020, I started college it was my first time getting out of a very bad place in my life, and it was my first time to actually start what I really love and make an effort for (Filmmaking), at that time we were fighting a lot and I started to question "what if?" and started to be unsure of being in a committed relationship. so, we broke up.

In February 2023, on my birthday.. we met again. and after almost 10 days we got back together, after 42 days we broke up because I was super ready to settle down and have him for life, and he was not ready for that, I freaked him out lol and he said that "I don't want to be in a relationship right now."

It's been now 32 days since our last day together, and looking back at the beginning of it.. yeah I am doing much much better!

In the beginning, I received the most mixed signals I ever received in my life, it was like sometimes it's someone who is ADORING you and wanna marry you and sometimes he is someone who is sure of nothing and wants to explore more and can't stand being next to you, tbh? that gave me a hard time and lots lots of crying but unexpectedly after 30 days of grieving, crying, anger, and jealousy... all become better, I think I am doing better now and accepting the idea of him not being in my life.

What made me really move on?

1- Writingwritingwritingwriting!

It starts with an open note on my phone with the title: "To My Ex... Messages are not meant to be sent" - but it got sent hahaha. I wrote in from April 3rd to April 7th, not too many days right? well, I wrote 22 pages :) ... it got everything, missing him, wanting him back, jealousy, asking him back, a prestigious way of begging him to come back haha, talking about old messages, talking about us before me going to the college, Quotes (YES), Sad Song Lyrics (YES)... I wrote literally everything in those few days, then it felt like oh it's actually kind of hard work you gotta send it to him so I did and asked him not to reply to anything in it and he didn't thankfully, now I look back to that relationship and I feel super happy and super proud of saying everything, every little thing was on my mind to him, and I tried everything to make it work... SO I AM GOOD!

2- Modern Family

Yes, that show helped me a lot going through a hard time, I'm right now in the seventh season of it, and totally worth it.. stick always to that simple rule: If you are sad, go watch comedy.

3- Ali El Haggar

He is my favorite singer, and he is the one I love the most, and he was my first live concert to go to, and that artist got some really GREAT SONGS, my favorite at that time was: في قلب الليل

4- I got the closure I wanted

After him telling me that he doesn't want a relationship, we met after that a few times maybe four times or something, and I talked about it all, I was super expressive (thanks to my therapy sessions) I told him that he could be an avoidant and that he just fears the closeness and I suggested therapy, I suggested to make the relationship different to suit him more blah blah, and listened to him more and more till his words made sense to me.

5- Nagui

my 3-month-old kitten, Nagui was born on February 7 that's making us twins! I've always wanted a pet and my mother would keep refusing, when she knew we broke up she agreed that I can finally get a pet. I remember not leaving the house because of him, he is my baby and will always be.

6- Therapy

Well, If I am talking about therapy a couple of months ago I'd just say how it completely changed my whole life, but in this journey... welllllll it didn't do much, all it did was resist texting him back knowing that i have a session by the end of the week that would make me realize how bad this is, and would calm me down.

7- Friends

Well, my closest friend ironically let me down, he wasn't there for me through this journey which was really painful, it was a real loss, I lost someone I deeply love since 2019, someone I shared with him a lot that I couldn't imagine myself sharing that with anyone else, and I believe that loss could feel like death... it is serious and it is painful!

but another friend of mine came out of nowhere, and she did help me go through this.. so yeah life is unexpecting all the time.

It is getting better, and no matter how devasting this is, know and make sure that it will pass, and if didn't you will survive.

I might never lose the love for him, I might not find love again. but I am okay and I am doing better day by day.

I look at myself in this picture after daying of consistently crying, and I can see that I am doing better, and I never imagined that I would actually be better in just 30 days. miracles happen!

Later On...

#breakup #heartbroken #no contact #healing #healing journey #journaling #nocontact

[riverstardis]

series 32 episode 15:

lmaoo connie reacting to ethan's "murder" confession by telling him to get down there and treat some patients in the previously SJFJFDH that's always funny

i looked at the synopses to make a list of all the episodes i wanted to watch but i've already forgotten which ones are which so

connie's hair falling out💔

WAIT that's the pub from reap the whirlwind WTF

ethan tells connie she shouldn't be in the hospital because of the infection risk after chemo but she's not listening and gives him a patient. oh yeah he's meant to be preparing for his practical exam (an OSCE, is it called?) but connie's forgotten :/

hmm they're showing the firefighters at the station before they get the call out for the other patient storyline.... soo which of them's gonna end up injured then?

ah so glen reappeared between the last ep i watched and this one then?

"max likes his coffee like he likes his women, tall and skinny" "right. actually it's flat and white... the coffee not the women!" HELPPP😭😭😭😭

wonder if iain remembers that this is where he and jez picked the ellissons up the day that cal died :(

oh i forgot that ethan's exam wasn't in the hospital, though it makes sense now that i think about it. presumably he drove there but the fact they showed him running off when charlie took over his patient and now showing him running up the centre, still in his scrubs, makes it look like he just ran all the way there😭😭 though why did he even show up for his shift in the first place if he had to leave so soon??? that's probably why i assumed it was in the hospital bc it would make sense for him to start his shift beforehand if he was only going to be elsewhere in the hospital

"it's ethan hardy. doctor. obviously" sjsjdjfjsd ohhh i miss him😭

oh yeah it says 'OSCE Examination 10:00 TODAY ROOM 216' on the display i knew it!

"sorry i'm not late am i? i was dealing with an actual patient" oh that reminds me of his last ep :(

ooh sam realises the flare in this guy's leg hasn't ignited yet. lmao iain's like "we can't drive an unexploded bomb around!" and sam's like "it's hardly a bomb, and anyway the ambulance should contain it. probably. hopefully."😭😭

poor connie :(

lmaoo ethan get your breath back before starting bestie😭 he never changes lol (well, if you ignore 2018 and 2019. which i do, frequently.)

not rash telling the guy with the flare in his leg how one day he'll deliver a talk about this to junior doctors😭😭😭

OH WTF one of the fake patients in ethan's exam is "a 33 year old male has presented with a penetrating knife wound in his abdomen" and he falters and you can SEE that he's thinking about cal😢😢😢😢😢😢 i did NOT remember that😭

rash's nervous jokes are not helping sjsdjjdfj

alicia's removing the flare😬 damn she's good😍

ethan gets back to the ed and immediately catches something connie missed😭

aw connie apologises for forgetting ethan's exam and asks how it went and he says he could've been more confident and she says she's sure it'll be fine and thanks him for helping her patient🥺

"look, i don't care that you forgot my exam, i don't care that i had to intubate a patient that i shouldn't have had to intervene with, but i do care about you getting better" aww🥺🥺

ethannnn🫶🫶🫶

alicia got the registrar job!

connie cutting her hair :(

#classic casualty #S32E15

[dissociativecrow]

Okay we're doing #1-11 right now babey

[[MORE]]

1. Ten-ish main dudes, another ten-ish less active dudes, some fragments, idk. We gave up on trying to find a number but it generally lands between 15 and 30 depending on definitions. Sometimes it feels hella crowded in here, sometimes it's Just Me. Or just The Void of dissociation.

2. I don't know for sure, but I think G was the first we were actively aware of like, talking to. Had Aslan as an imaginary friend as a kid (... Jesus Lion is just about the only type of imaginary friend we were Allowed To Have lol) and he kinda just stuck with us and slowly developed into Cool Lion Mom Who Never Fails To Save Our Fuckin Life.

3. Hard to say, exactly. In high school/early college we knew of G and Damien/Sav, but they went by other names back then. There were a few other voices/"versions of me" we were kind of aware of, but they didn't feel as Different - I think they were who we know as Jon, MK, Ruth, Beck, and Rush now.

Back in 2018 we learned about DID and it was kind of this slow dawning realization of months and months of internal arguing, before coming to the conclusion that like, "Either the fundies are right and I'm literally demon-possessed, or this is a Brain Condition, and I'd rather it be a mental disorder than THAT, aaaand also they're literally spiralling out of control and if I don't learn to work with this they're going to wind up killing me, so fuck it, let's get help"

4. Uhhhh right now it's usually just a void with some kind of ground. We've tried to visualize more but it's been years and that's all we got, fam. On rare occasion there'll be a forest or a hole or something. Nothing is ever consistent.

5. We've gotten decent-ish at the whole Mental Telepathy thing, actually. And Serif is a big help. ALSO "loud arguments in the car" was a way we communicated even before we knew about the DID stuff - should've been the first clue tbh. We also just leave notes and journal entries in random places and hope to god they're found. For all the chaos that's in this system I'd say our communication with... Most parts is fairly decent. We can't exactly tell who's who most of the time, but we're getting better at it and folks are being heard out.

6. Damien drew this like, a year ago? Year and a half? Something like that. It's of me and his fursona and I still think it's really sweet.

7. Got some nonhumans, some kids, LOTS OF RELIGIOUS VARIETY WOOO EX-CULT LYFE, quite a few Yelly Boys, some Very Wonderful Folks, I dunno. It's a party up in here.

8. We range from "toddler, probably" to "Ageless Lion". Most of us are late teens-early 20s though.

9. Eh, there's some art on this blog somewhere. We don't really do face claims. I'd post some Picrews we made but I'm a lazy ass so, nah.

10. They almost all sound like various versions of me, save for a handful. We don't really do voice claims either. I guess Prof sounds like Mark Ruffalo, lmao.

11. BE NICE. BE COMPASSIONATE. PLEASE if you yell and are An Asshole they're either not gonna communicate with you at all, or things are gonna get Nasty, and those are two different but equally shitty situations. Treat them as you'd like to be treated because newsflash, they're part of your own fuckin brain.

More practically, journal, do art, KEEP RECORDS. With dissociative disorders come Memory Problems, keep as many fucking journals and records as you can and try your darndest to be compassionate towards whatever's being said, even if it's a journal where you were APPARENTLY rambling about how much you wanted to hurt yourself last night even though now you're physically unable to get into that mindset and can't even really remember it, "haha what the fuck I'm not an emo teen." Sorry bro, part of you IS, be nice to whoever that was, take care of yourselves like you're a sick friend going through a hard time.

I'd also reccomended self-talking apps like Serif and/or setting up a private discord server with Tupperbox or Pluralkit or whatever. And mood tracking if you're Into Data Like That!

#TAKE THE INFODUMP #JUST TAKE IT #multiplicity month #personal

[dungeons-and-danis]

Oh, neat! If you don't mind me asking, how did you meet your players? I know you said at a convention, but i'm just wondering about the details. It's always nice to hear how dnd teams meet.

Well I have five players right now, and we’re all sort of connected in a way! This is gonna be a bit of a long one just becos i love them so much and i want yall to know the weird string of events that lead to us all playing dnd together lol. So you’re invited to visit my lil story time beneath the cut!

The first one of my players that I met was Taylor at an anime convention in like… 2013 or 2014 i think. We were around 14-15 years old at the time. I met her because I was the first person in my city’s cosplay community to cosplay titan annie from attack on titan (literally 2 weeks or so after the episode first came out) and all the AoT cosplayers literally flocked to me, including Taylor who was cosplaying Armin. We later followed each other on tumblr and started hanging out casually maybe a year later.

Then, I hung out with and became mildly acquainted with some of Taylor’s friends at another anime convention in maybe spring 2015 when I was cosplaying the witch from L4D. It was there that I met Tayler (yes we have a tayler and a taylor. yes they are two different people lol) amongst the group I was hanging out with. But we didn’t really talk that much after that.

In the summer of 2015, I met Sam at yet ANOTHER convention (i know… i was a con fiend back in my teens) where I was cosplaying Queen Beryl from Sailor Moon and Gogo from Big Hero Six, also met via Taylor. Again, we didn’t really talk that much at the time.

It was toward the end of 2015, during my senior year in high school where I was having an incredibly rough time emotionally and academically. The first girl I ever dated broke up with me, my friends were treating me poorly, and I was barely going to school. I was posting on my personal tumblr about how miserable I was, when Taylor sent me a text inviting me to her ugly-sweater-themed Christmas party.

I. Hated. Parties. I didn’t want to go at all because all I knew parties to be was obnoxious, loud, annoying, and full of boys who would hit on me. But my mom saw how much I was suffering and managed to convince me to go anyways. I was so nervous, but when I knocked on her door that night, I was invited into one of the most loving, caring, and kind friendship groups i’ve ever come to know. Taylor, Tayler, and Sam were there, as well as my other players Madisen and Christine who I met for the first time right there.

This party was like nothing I ever experienced, yall. These girls were so nice and kind and had similar worldviews as me. This was the first friend circle I ever had where almost everyone was gay like me as well. So that was a huge comfort after struggling with my sexuality in high school and feeling isolated. Ever since this party, we became the best of friends throughout the years.

Cut to spring of 2018 when I finally broke up with my last ex girlfriend. I was in a terrible mood and crying my eyes out, when Madisen and Taylor decided to come over and bring me some comfort and a shoulder to cry on. While we talked about my breakup and my feelings and all that sappy stuff, I remember seeing my little D&D starter set on my desk that I had gotten from Christmas a few months prior. And I’m not sure how, but I kind of just got around to mentioning how I wish I could still play dnd (cos i played it with my ex a lot) but that I had nobody to play with. And they were ON IT. They immediately said they’d LOVE to play a game DM’ed by me, which is something i’d also mentioned wanting to do previously. I texted our group chat to see if the rest of them would be interested, and they were all ecstatic about it. So give or take a couple months of preparation, and we finally started our first game in August of 2018 with Madisen, Tayler, Taylor, and Sam.

A few months later, Christine (who hadnt yet become SUPER close with our circle yet) came to me saying she’d really love to join our campaign and thus, I gave her a heroic entrance into our campaign on a night in which the rest of the players thought she was simply present to spectate. She also joined our group chat and we’ve all gotten to be closer than we ever were before.

All in all, I would give the world for my players who are also coincidentally my best friends. They make me so super happy and D&D has allowed us to bond even more than we once did. I love working closely with each one of them on their characters and also being able to incorporate my love of writing and fiction and share that joy with my best friends who react so wonderfully to my stories. It’s truly the biggest blessing thats ever been laid upon me. I thank the stars every day for my friends and for D&D!

TL;DR: I met most of my players through anime conventions, and became much closer to them after a christmas party in december of 2015. I love them more than anything and also im really sappy and gross abt it toward the end.

#asks #Anonymous #dnd #im a fucking SAP okay #i love my players sm

[havekiddoswilltravel]

Cuba Travel Tips

Havana, Cuba trip report and pro tips for a safe, personalized family travel adventure to Cuba.

Tips for family travel to Cuba - A guide to exploring Cuba with kids, friends, family or multigenerational groups.

Did you know that you can in fact still travel to Cuba independently?

Updated: July 2019 with new Cuban travel rules.

We cruised prior to the US restrictions. You can however, still enjoy these Cuban tours by traveling by air to Cuba. Keep reading for more details.

Our family of six enjoyed a 5 night Key West and Cuba overnight cruise aboard Royal Caribbean’s Majesty of the Seas in December 2018 prior to the cruise ship restrictions. We traveled with four kids ages 13, 10, 7 and 5 and thus felt that a cruise was a comfortable way for us to explore Havana. We’re hooked and already planning a return land trip in order to enjoy more of the island. The Cuban people were gracious, funny and talented. Our guide Dayami is fluent in both English and Spanish and a breath of information about the history, culture, art, music, architecture and food of the island. 

2018 Cuban travel update: The U.S. announced new travel rules for Cuba. Americans can no longer travel to the island under the People to People category as an individual and you're unable to patronized any military - owned business. 

Legal travel to Cuba is still possible under the Support For The Cuban People category and my recommended tours can assist you in planning a safe, educational and cost effective trip to the island. 

Have Kiddos Will Travel Cuba Tours offer: A one of a kind safe, private tour option for those wanting to visit Cuba and experience it like a local.

What we did in Havana:

Dayami picked us up at 9:00 am at the Saint Francis of Assisi Square

(the plaza right across from the cruise ship terminal in Old Havana).

We started with a guided walking tour in Old Havana (about 2 hours) which included:

-       All four main squares

-       Some of Hemingway’s favorite places in the city

-       Handcrafted perfume shop - the perfume is inexpensive and comes in beautiful hand made pottery. 

-       Free entrance museums - our kids loved these museums. We had to drag our 10 year old son out of the art museum. 

-       Cigar/coffee/rum shopping - Dayami was an angel and sat with our kids at a nearby table while my husband and I enjoyed this amazing tasting. I can’t recommend it enough. There was a live band playing during our tasting. In fact, music and dancing was everywhere in Havana. Buy Cuban coffee (I regret not buying more as gifts). Dayami is incredibly knowledgeable about Cuban rum and cigars. We bought two boxes (4 bottles total) of Havana Club 3 year white and 7 year dark rum for approximately 20 CUC. We also brought back 25 (fiftieth anniversary) Cuban Cohiba cigars. We bought handmade individual cigar boxes for the ones that we gave as gifts. 

We did a coffee-rum-cigar tasting/sampling. This service (about 1 hour) is provided by a Habanos sommelier Cuban cigar expert). I highly recommend this tour option. We learned so much and it added to our overall experience in Havana.

After the walking tour, Dayami had a air conditioned car with ready to drive us to the main places of interest in the city. I loved that she was flexible and worked with our children. We took extra breaks for water, snacks and to use clean bathrooms. She knew all of the best places to use the facilities and though I was prepared with my own toilet paper, we ended up never needing it. 

Our family’s personalized itinerary:

-       Ride along the Malecon (sea wall drive)

-       Colon Cemetery (World Heritage Site)

-       Callejón de Hamel (rumba performances/Afro-Cuban religion/art scene)

-       Central Park

-       Capitol building

-       National Hotel

-       San Jose Handicraft market

-       Fusterlandia community/art project

-       Revolution Square

-       Rainforest of Havana (National Park)

-       Bay fortresses and the Christ of Havana (viewpoint)

Dayami made a reservation for us a privately owned restaurant and we enjoyed it. We were lol a bit when we arrived because we literally walked behind a normal looking home in Havana and entered a massive outdoor restaurant which was packed with people and even had a live band. Our total lunch cost was 74 CUC which included drinks, 3 orders of chicken and all you can eat white rice and beans. 

The whole tour was from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, take into consideration that lunch may took over an 1 hour.

What to buy in Cuba:

- While cigars and rum are the main things that people buy when in Cuba, we also bought an amazing art piece (beware that customs will attempt to charge you art fee if you travel back with it in an art tube), engraved leather baseballs, Cuban key chains that I then turned into Cuban Christmas ornaments and a small piece of wood art. We ran out of time to stop by Clandestina, but they do have an online shop that you will not want to miss.

Pro - tips: - Everyone (including children) will need a passport book (not a passport card) that is valid for at least 6 months after your trip. Two pages are required for entry - exit stamps. 

- Each traveler will need a Cuban Visa if you're a US citizen (please research Visa laws for other countries) which cost $75.00 per person. Take your time completing this simple form, as mistakes are not accepted and you will have to buy another one.

-   U.S. credit and debit cards generally do not work in Cuba. Bring cash to cover your stay. The Cuban government requires that travelers declare cash amounts over 5,000 USD. Travelers should note that the Government of Cuba charges a 10 percent fee for all U.S. dollar cash conversions; this does not apply to electronic transactions or cash conversions in other currencies. - US dollar and credit cards are not accepted in Cuba. Do your research regarding how much money you will need and plan accordingly.  I recommend changing money into Cuban Convertible Pesos (CUC) before meeting your guide (for lunch, souvenirs, rum, the sampling, etc.). It is recommended that you change US currency to Euros prior to your trip (AAA will do this without an additional conversion fee for members) and then change euros to CUCs upon arrival. At the time of our visit   The official exchange rate (at the time of our trip in 2018) is 0.87 for every 1 USD (due to the 13 percent US dollar fee). The exchange rate for the euro at the time our trip was 1.15.

-  The export of Cuban convertible pesos (CUC) is strictly prohibited, regardless of the amount. When departing Cuba, U.S. travelers are advised to exchange Cuban convertible pesos (CUC) back to US Dollars well before reaching airport security checkpoints to avoid potential confiscation of the CUC. For other currencies, travelers may export up to the equivalent of 5,000 USD. Anyone wishing to export more than this amount must demonstrate evidence that the currency was acquired legitimately from a Cuban bank. - Dayami was very helpful in regards to helping us figure out how much cash we would need for all of our tours, meals, and shopping.

Getting there:

- You can fly to Havana depending on your group size and family needs. We’ve had family members fly and we did an overnight Havana cruise with Royal Caribbean as we were traveling with small children and wanted access to the comforts of the cruise line. Cruising if no longer an option as of June 2019.

Where to stay:

- If you’re flying, I highly recommend Casa Habana for a one of a kind, local Cuban experience. 

What to pack:

- Bring sunblock, hats, and sun glasses. I packed a back pack with safe drinking water, snacks and treats for our kids.- Wear comfortable walking shoes. Havana streets are beautiful, but the cobblestone is hard on your feet. 

What NOT to do:

- Leave your jewelry and fancy items at home. 

- Don't take pictures of Cuban police or military.

- Keep your strong tourist opinions about Fidel, the Castro family, the Revolution or communism to yourself. Avoid discussing politics (history discussions are okay) and you're good.

- There are two currencies in Cuba. The first is the Cuban Convertible Peso CUC  (which tourists use) and is worth 26 Cuban Pesos CUP. Count your change and keep your street smarts about you.

- Don't expect to have access to the many comforts of home. There is almost no access to many of the consumer goods that are common for us in the United States. So, make sure to bring that which you can't live without. If you wan't toothpaste, a toothbrush, toilet paper, hand disinfectant, mints or snacks, make sure to bring them with you. 

- Print out all of your relevant travel documents prior to your trip. I know, we’re digital people but access to technology in Cuba is pretty much nada. If you think you’ll need it, print it at home. 

- We’re big foodies and thus find it crucial to discuss Cuban food in Havana versus Cuban food in the United States and other parts of the world. Due to trade restrictions and general lack of access to ingredients that we take for granted, (our guide Dayami did a great job explaining the Cuban rations to our kids) we found the food to be good enough, but not something to write home about. The saving grace was that our kids love white rice and beans and literally were “starving” from all of the walking. They ate their food and loved it, with no complaints. Pro tip: if you’re traveling to Cuba, pack some salt and hot sauce. You’ll thank me. 

- Book your Cuba tours before you travel. The internet is hard to come by in Cuba and thus, don’t expect to be able to research or use the internet to communicate with tour guides while on the island. We arrived via a cruise ship, and I had all of my confirmation information from Dayami printed and I had confirmed pick up times and location with her while we were in Key West and still had internet service. 

By booking a trusted private tour, you will save hundreds of US dollars on your excursion time while on the island. Our tours are priced per car, not per person for a group of four and can be coordinated to accommodate larger family - group sizes.

- Lastly, let’s talk about safety. We’re a family of avid travelers. Our kids have had passports since they were newborns and we travel extensively throughout the United States and abroad. This cruise to Cuba was our third cruise in 2018 alone and all six of us are Diamond Crown and Anchor with Royal Caribbean International. Even with all of the stamps in our passports, I was perplexed by how safe we felt in Havana. Despite what our history classes and news tell us about communism and Cuba, we felt safer in Cuba than any other place that we’ve traveled to. Use common sense and respect the local culture and you’ll have a blast. 

Havana, Cuba - YouTube

https://havekiddoswilltravel.net/cuba-tours

Check out the link above for a full list of tour options and contact Dayami Interian [email protected] to discuss further planning. Your won’t be disappointed!

About Ruth: I’m a wife and mami of 4 active and globe-trotting kiddos. I’ve always loved a good adventure and truly believe that it’s possible to travel with kids. Join me, as I share our adventures and inspire you to get out of the house with your kiddos. Whether you’re planning a family vacation, a road trip or a trip of a lifetime to an exotic destination, I’ll share insights, trip reports and information that will inspire you. Check back often to stay up to date on things to do with kids at your next travel destination.

family travel - adventure - explore - Travel with Kids

#havekiddoswilltravel #familytravel #adventure #explore #travel #homeschool #teachingkids #havana #cuba #habana #caribbean #majestyoftheseas #rccl #royalcaribbeaninternational #havanexcursion #havanatours #familyfriendlycuba #bookcuba #cubafoodies #cubancigars #cubanrum #cubanart #cubanshopping #bloggervibes #dayamiinterian #cubafamilytravel #guidetocuba