#well technically the book was 16 when i read it

[spacecravat]

honestly a little bit envious of people who will discover good omens in like 15 years as some fun little weird older show. somehow this feels like the natural state of good omens to me. it’s the way i discovered the book and i want that for future people with the tv show too

#well technically the book was 16 when i read it #unfortunately dvds are dying so you can’t just dig it up the same way as a book #alas #you have to rely on digging up gifsets on tumblr or whatever the new social media is by then lmao #mine #good omens #also obviously the book too #though it’ll be what. 50 years old then??? #h

[stellisketches]

Random MCD Headcanons that have nothing to do with anything (Part 5???)

Sorry I haven't made any real posts in forever. My drawing phone broke and college has been a bitch so i haven't really gotten the chance to make anything (though I finally made some more progress on the next chapter of my rewrite). In any case, please accept this next installment of head canons I wrote like 10 months ago and completely forgot about in lieu of anything that requires actual talent. Love y'all:

Laurance lost an incisor tooth in a fistfight when he was 19

When he got turned into a shadowknight it grew back, now he purposefully goes out of his way to loose teeth just cause he knows he can grow back an unlimited supply

Hayden has a cat named Bog Butter. He’s the color of butter and he found him in the bog. 

Vylad’s favorite vegetable is avocado

There are three major guard academies in Ru’aun: one in O’Khasis, one in Scaleswind, and one in Bright Port. 

Bright Port’s is the largest and most well known

O’Khasis’ is the most prestigious

Scaleswind’s academy is the most difficult

The bare minimum age to join is 14, though most people join between 16-19

Every guard must have a minimum of 2 years training to earn the actual title of Guard, however to serve in O’Khasis you need a minimum of 4 and for Scaleswind a minimum of 5. 

Part of that training includes apprenticeship, so they do get some in-field experience with their mentors (think unpaid intern)

Technically you can train for up to 8 years, however most people only train for 2-5.

Garroth was in academy for 3-4 (although to be fair he had been trained in sword fighting since he was like 9)

Laurance went for 5 years and Dante went for 6 ½ 

Dante lied about his age when he enlisted though

He was barely thirteen

Both went to the Bright Port Academy however they were in different divisions at different times since Dante is younger, so they really only saw each other in passing and never actually talked to one another

The only personal interaction they ever had was one time at the academy Laurance was trying to get back to his dorm after a night of copious drinking and partying and could barely walk out the front door of the bar. Dante (who was pretty tipsy himself) ended up half-carrying back to Laurance’s dorm before going back to his own. Neither of them remember this. 

Katelyn’s two older brothers’ names are Kaj and Khareem

Khareem is the oldest, then Kaj, then Katelyn, then Kacey

Occasionally, when he is absolutely, positively, 100% sure he is alone, Zane will sing to himself sometimes

Dante once did a Zane impression in front of everyone and Garroth got so freaked out by how realistic it sounded he made Dante swear he’d never do that voice around him again. 

The worst argument Kenmur and Emmalyn ever had during their marriage was whether their system was heliocentric or geocentric (Kenmur argued the former and Emmalyn argued the latter)

In most colleges across Ru’Aun, there is usually some statue of Enki that students will leave offerings to before their big exams

Offerings vary, but it’s usually something like food, money, trinkets, or paper. It varies on how important the exam/how desperate the students are

Kenmur went to one of these colleges for a few years

One time he fell asleep the night before his final exam and he woke up like an hour before his exam was supposed to take place and in a fit of panic he dumped his entire wallet in front of the statue. He passed with flying colors.

One time at the Narhakan college someone left a life-sized horse statue made out of gold. No one has any idea where it came from or who left it. It’s become kind of an urban legend among all the colleges

Zenix never learned how to read and by god he isn’t about to wimp out now

Garroth tried to teach him once and it… did not go well

Let’s just say Garroth still owes Emmalyn a book from that incident. And a new table. 

Zianna came from the same region that Esmund was native to

Katelyn absolutely despises the feeling of sand in her shoes

Dmitri and Nekoette raided the Bright Port guard academy kitchen the first night they got sworn in

Dmitri also had to go to the infirmary after getting shot in the arm by one of Nekoette’s loose arrows

Laurance can play the piano and used to play it at some of the taverns in Meteli

Levin and Malachi both know a good bit of Elvish thanks to spending so much time in Yggdrasil

They switch to Elvish for the majority of their arguments

#garroth ro'meave #aphmau #zane ro'meave #minecraft diaries #mcd #minecraft diaries headcanons #aphmau mcd #mcd garroth #mcd laurance #romeave lore #mcd vylad #vylad ro'meave #laurance mcd #laurance zvahl #mcd dante #dante mcd #mcd katelyn #mcd lore #mcd aphmau #aphmau shalashaska #garroth romeave #zianna ro'meave #levin mcd #malachi mcd #esmund the protector

[sineala]

Fall of X (Steve/Tony Edition)

For anyone else who is a comics Steve/Tony fan who doesn't usually read X-Men comics and is now finding themselves needing to wade through the Fall of X, this is everything I have found that's out now (or coming out very soon) in the order you should read it, that pertains to Steve and/or Tony. This is accurate as of today (September 16); we are obviously not done with the event so this list will not stay accurate, but if you want to hop on now, this is how you'd do it.

Iron Man #7

Avengers/X-Men FCBD 2023

Hellfire Gala 2023

Iron Man #8

Iron Man #9

X-Men #25

Uncanny Avengers #1

X-Men #26

(Uncanny Avengers #2 when it comes out, Sept. 20)

(Iron Man #10 when it comes out, Sept. 27)

(Iron Man #7 is not technically part of this but it does have some lead-up with a subplot involving Rhodey and Feilong. I am assuming you are all reading Iron Man anyway.)

I am also not a regular X-Men reader so it's possible that I've missed some stuff, but this is everything that has Steve and/or Tony or is directly relevant to them that I have found. So this isn't the entire event, but if you're just trying to get through Iron Man comics there are definitely some comics that you want to read.

I mention this because it might not be entirely obvious to anyone just trying to read through Iron Man that there are crucial events in the Free Comic Book Day issue that was released months ago. But there are. And I would like to save everyone else the trouble of getting halfway through Hellfire Gala and wondering why all of a sudden someone has been trying to assassinate Captain America off-panel and thinking that, wow, I really must have missed something somewhere. Which was the experience I had. So, yeah. That was actually depicted in the FCBD 2023 issue. Surprise!

(The most necessary part of the ordering, for our purposes, is Avengers/X-Men FCBD, Hellfire, and then Iron Man #8. There are several important events that we see from various points of view throughout these issues, which all take place on the same night, in that order. Iron Man #8 also assumes you have read Iron Man #182 but I feel like probably everyone has done this.)

Tony is on the main team (although the main Avengers book is not part of the Fall of X event); Steve is currently leading the Uncanny Avengers, which is part of the event. Both Steve and Tony actually appear together briefly in both X-Men #25 and Uncanny Avengers #1 as part of the meetings the remaining resistance is holding against Orchis. I don't know if Tony will be in this week's Uncanny Avengers #2. He wasn't in the preview and he isn't in the character list on the recap page, but that was also the case for both X-Men #25 and Uncanny Avengers #1. I think the character lists only cover the team members in this particular series.

I have reordered a couple of issues from the order they were released in. Uncanny Avengers #1 was released the week before Iron Man #9 but it has to happen in the opposite order. IM #9 takes place the night of the Gala and on into the next day; it picks up immediately after #8 and resolves the cliffhanger there. UA #1, even though it came out before this, takes place weeks after the Gala, as established in the issue. Judging by the preview, UA #2 will (at least partially) take place immediately after UA #1 but as it hasn't come out yet, I can't say for sure.

Similarly, since Iron Man #9 is right after #8, I've put X-Men #25 after that, since it also takes place weeks after the Gala, even though it came out before IM #9. I might end up moving Uncanny Avengers around some more later as well, but this works for now.

X-Men #26 is the X-Men half of the wedding issue along with Iron Man #10. The IM half isn't out yet, so we'll see what happens there.

#posts i actually wrote #comics reading lists

[k2ntwo]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

A bunch of writers that I follow have already been tagged and responded @helloliriels @khorazir @7-percent @discordantwords @totallysilvergirl to name just a few. Now I have a few new things to read that I somehow missed the first time around as well as a bunch of old favorites to go and re-read. So much good fic is out there by so many talented writers!

In the spirit of adding to folk’s ever growing MFL list I’ll just pile onto the bandwagon with my answers as well.

 1.  How many works to you have on AO3?

56 although there are several collections of snippets that technically could be counted separately. On AO3 I'm KtwoNtwo.

2.  What’s your total AO3 word count?

496,860

3.  What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily Sherlock Holmes (most all iterations from ACD to Sherlock) and James Bond.  However, I dabble in a good number of other fandoms upon occasion.

4.  What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Metamorphosis

Conversations from Q-Branch

50 Reasons (The Q-Branch Edition)

A Rare Breed

Brothers Three

5.  Do you respond to comments?

Yes, even if its just a “I’m glad you liked it.”  The only ones I don’t respond to are the generic solicitations to join some random contest or fic publishing website.  Those get blocked and reported.

6.  What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, I don’t really write major angst but The Four Riders has got a bit as does the poem Gun in the Drawer though they both end on a hopeful note.

7.  What’s the Fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings but probably A Toast to the Science of Deduction resolves the happiest of the lot.

8.  Do you get hate on fics.

Nope.  Only got one anonymous troll alleging trademark infringement due to a title.  I fired back a factual rebuttal: basically "there is no book by that name by that author, there is no lawyer by that name, you didn’t provide contact information and btw trademark doesn’t work the way you allege" then added a set of quotation marks to the title.  Never heard anything more about it.

9.  Do you write smut?

I have but I’m not terribly good at it.  Most of the time the characters look at me then politely, or not so politely, shut the bedroom door in my face.

10.  Do you write crossovers?

Oh God Yes!  Technically I think I write fusions, where both fandoms end up in the same universe, as opposed to crossovers but I’m rather unclear on the difference between same so I tend to just call 'em crossovers and leave it at that. 

11.  Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I could find or prove.  I did have a couple of strange search results pop up with my use name and some fic titles attached but the websites all seem to be defunct now.

12.  Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

13.  Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14.  What’s your favorite ship?

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

15.  What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There’s a fic based on a song by Abney Park that I’ve got an outline for but it never seems to go anywhere.

16.  What are your writing strengths?

I can merge and/or crossover all sorts of different fandoms. 

17.  What are your writing weaknesses?

Typos and punctuation.  Being slightly dyslexic I can’t spot the former and I never know if I’m using commas correctly or not.

18.  Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I actively avoid doing so because I’d butcher it badly.

19.  First fandom you wrote for?

Emperor’s Edge by Lindsay Buroker.  I will admit that I wrote in my head, but never got around to put on paper, a number of Star Trek stories when I was significantly younger.

20.  Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I like all of them for different reasons.  The one I’m most proud of however is The Emerald Falls my Study in Emerald inspired ACD Fic.

I'd love to have some of the artists/podcasters respond to this with whatever modifications are necessary to fit the medium involved. Hours of podcast or number of artworks as opposed to number of words for example. @podfixx @bluebellofbakerstreet if you haven't responded to this thing already and I just missed it.

#20 questions for fic writers #my fanfiction

[grapenehifics]

20 Question Fic Writer Tag

Hell yeah I'll play. Thanks @palfriendpatine66 :D

How many works do you have on ao3?

AO3 says ten, but one of those is a series continuation of another one, so I count it as nine...although tomorrow that will go up by one, after the reveals for the Ghost Window challenge go out.

2.) What's your ao3 word count? 

Oh god. 690,376. I honestly think I was happier not knowing that fact about myself.

3.) What fandoms do you write for? 

I don't multitask well. I can write Star Wars fics or I can write Star Wars fics. I haven't even ventured outside the Clone Wars era yet.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Some Technical Difficulties - big gap - Solsbury Hill - An Uncivil War - medium-sized gap - An Unlikely Duo - another gap-ish - Down by the Seaside.

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yep. I like it when authors reply to me when I leave a comment, so I try to pay it forward. Also sometimes we get into fun little side chats.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

At the moment, not one single damn one of them. They have angst in them, but none of them end on angst. However as of about twenty-four hours from now, my answer will be, Ghost Window AU.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Literally all of them. I'm happy to read angst, but when it comes to writing I am firmly in the happy endings camp.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

I had some people tell me they were dropping out of Solsbury Hill because it wasn't getting to the Obikin fast enough, but I wouldn't call that hate. So, no.

(Side note, though: you don't have to tell authors that. Just delete your subscription quietly.)

But, I am also very ready to delete any and all negative comments. This is my fun side project; good vibes only.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

...pretty vanilla kind, honestly. Again, I read much more adventurously than I write. (Although, as recently as two years ago I would have said I don't write smut at all, so hit me up two years from now and maybe I'll be writing hardcore d/s, I don't know.)

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

By the strict definition, no. If you're talking 'dump Star Wars characters into settings of other movies', then hell yeah, that's kind of my jam right now. Down by the Seaside is Obikin Overboard. Next year I'm planning to publish Obikin Jurassic Park, Obikin Parent Trap, and Obikin Princess Diaries II. And I have a couple more on my to-do list.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Is this a thing I need to worry about?? Shit.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

@kittonafoxgirl did a podfic of Some Technical Difficulties and it is still like one of the top five most rad things that has ever happened to me; does that count?

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No but @fulcrum843 are currently mulling something over...

I do get a lot of help with my writing though. @piecesofeden11 basically wrote all the DnD stuff in An Unlikely Duo. I talk stuff out on Tumblr with folks all the time before I actually sit down to write it (or during, lol).

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

I have no plans to write anything other than Obikin, and there's so much new good fic that it takes up most of my reading time as well.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I wouldn't call it a WIP because there are no words on a page but I love the *idea* of a fic based on Jenn Barkley from Parks & Rec but have no idea what direction to take it and may never get to it. (If anyone wants to take this idea and run with it please do; it is very much up for grabs!)

16.) What are your writing strengths?

This is a weird thing to answer about myself but I hope I write with a sense of movement, propulsion, even a little suspense - as a reader I love to feel that I have to turn the page, I have to see what comes next, I don't want to put this fic/book down - and I try to work towards that goal in my own writing.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Getting bogged down in details. It drives me crazy in movies when characters have these huge mansions but seemingly never go to work and somehow this has translated into me being incapable of just writing a smutty one-shot or whatever because what is everyone's job and how much is their mortgage payment and do they get paid on Fridays or Mondays and how many bedrooms does that apartment have.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

See answer above about over-complicating things: I came up with this whole system for An Uncivil War for whether I'm writing out the dialogue in a language other than Basic (I feel like we really only have enough information for me to be able to do this in Huttese and Mando'a, and even then only short conversations in certain subjects), or simply noting that a character is saying something in another language ("he said in Ryl" or whatever), or mixing Basic and a word/words in another language within the same sentence. It was important to me to capture that multilingualism, but it's also a lot of work, ngl.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Technically Johnlock but I never finished/published anything.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

I love all my babies equally, she lied.

It's the Can't Stop the Suns series, which is An Uncivil War, Pick Up the Pieces (more than halfway completed), and Sometimes Fate Steps In (loosely outlined). Sometimes I'll just look over my notes and get giddy about how much good stuff I'm packing in there and how much *more* good stuff I haven't even gotten to yet. I'm throwing the kitchen sink of stuff I love at it. Even if the final version doesn't quite live up to the vision I see in my head (it rarely does), as long as I get close I'll be happy.

I tag @piecesofeden11, @underacalicosky, @fulcrum843, and, as usual, anyone else who feels up for it!

#obikin #solsbury hill #an uncivil war #an unlikely duo #down by the seaside #pick up the pieces #let's get together

[andromedaexists]

It's Been a Week...

Seven days ago I introduced my book baby (Δάιος, you might have heard of it) into the world! On 10/10 Icky baby made his debut!!

So what has happened since then?

Well, my personal life has become a living hell but that's not what we're here to discuss. Today is all about self-publishing a debut novel.

Icarus came into the world on the 10th with a KDP ebook and paperback release. Those were soon joined on the 11th by an ebook, paperback, and hard cover wide release through the distribution channels of IngramSparks.

I have learned a lot with this process. Namely: IngramSparks is a fucking bitch when it comes to covers, Amazon will not provide quality author proofs so I have no way of knowing what my book will look like before it publishes, and that I need to give myself more time to work out the kinks next time.

Before I get too far into details, I want to highlight some numbers here. If you do not want to see publication numbers then you are free to go! Thank you for stopping by, though!

Okay, so here are my numbers so far:

I had sixteen (16) preorders on the Δάιος ebook through Amazon.

On release day, these orders processed. I also received another 3 orders that day, bringing the total number to 19.

Since that first day, I have received a total of 26 orders through KDP.

As you can tell, I had a significant dip right after pub day. This is mostly my own fault, as I am terrible at marketing and by virtue of my life going to shit I haven't even been shitposting about my book.

Of these 26 orders, 5 of them have been paperbacks

This is a lot better than I expected!! I think it's because I am so partial to physical copies that I tend to push those first and foremost before the ebook.

But these are just the amazon KDP numbers, I have also gone wide with distribution!

So how many orders have I gotten through IngramSparks??? None.

Not a one. That's to be expected though, a lot of indies sell through amazon first and foremost. I mostly set up ingram for two reasons: 1. I wanted to hold a hardcover edition of Δάιος in my hands but i really dislike the way that KDP doesn't offer dust jackets for their hardcovers and 2. Consignment

I just finished filling out some consignment forms for my local NE Ohio bookstores, we'll see if I get into any of them.

There is one other place I sell, though: my website. How many orders have I gotten there? 6!!

one of those images is different, because on my website I can offer something that amazon and IS can't. Physical goodies. The books on my website come with a pack of 6 stickers, a thank you card, and my signature! And technically I have 8 orders, but one hasn't come through yet from a friend in person and the other is for Shane bb who is getting an annotated copy of the book (I haven't finished the annotations yet lol)

So now that we have all the numbers out in the open, let's talk about money. How much did it cost for me to publish δάιος? A lot. It is possible to publish for much less than what it cost me, but I went out of my way to commission a cover artist that I just knew I needed to have and that cost me a pretty penny.

All in all, I spent $2,920.16 ($1,703.02 is the cover alone after conversion from GBP)

And how much have I made back so far, just in week one?

$73.46 from KDP royalties and $44.82 from my website ($94.95 - $50.13 for the books alone, not even counting the goodies and packing supplies) for a total of...

$118.28!!! That's a lot!!!

I am very privileged to have a credit card I can put my expenses on as I slowly pay them off, and I do not regret anything I have done in the creation of my book. Even if it makes me cry a little bit at how much I spent.

Now that the numbers are over, what are some positive things that have come of this and some negative things? (pos first)

I have published my debut novel!

There are 4 people who have read my debut novel and liked it enough to rate it on goodreads! (it has a 4.75 star rating atm!)

My book is BEAUTIFUL

Icky baby has been unleashed on the world!

I feel like I've finally accomplished something with my life

DID I MENTION THAT I PUBLISHED A BOOK???

the negatives:

I really don't like that the colors of the cover don't print properly, every copy I've gotten either lightens the contrast so you can't see the title or it darkens the damned thing and you can't see Icarus

I also don't like that IngramSparks doesn't support any letters outside of the basic latin letters on the spine of covers, because that means that my baby is naked under the dust jacket and that's just boring

Amazon Fuckt Up my print proof (i will attach pictures) and I freaked out about it for a good 4 days

I just realized today that I published daios with a placeholder chapter title about halfway through the book... so I fixed that but there are already more than 30 copies of the book in circulation with that error...

Idk if it's just my bad eyes but I feel like the text is too small in the print books. I would like to make it larger when I publish the revised edition next year

INGRAMSPARKS IS A LITTLE BITCH THAT WILL YELL AT YOU AND REJECT YOUR COVER IF YOU LOOK AT IT WRONG

I can order just a regular copy of daios off amazon and it will be here in two days. So why when I order author copies does it take TWO WEEKS TO SHIP

I really hate that the hardcover can't have creme paper. Like, gimme the offwhite. It looks so much better with my cover and the vibes of the story. Lemme use something other than bleach white please i'm begging

All in all, I learned a lot with this!! I had my ups and downs, I think I've done everything in my power to make this book successful, and now I just have to roll with it!

I will check in again at the one month mark, but yeah! That's it! Thanks for reading through this long winded post!!

The pictures, as promised:

And just in case you can't immediately see what's wrong:

The colors are off, the title has like a hard demarcation when it's supposed to be a soft glow and you can't hardly see Icarus down there

My name is brushed up against the edge of the book when it's supposed to have a decent buffer room

The spine is shifted. Why is the spine text partially on the front cover?

The colors are off on the back as well, the text is hard to read and it's too close to the edge of the book when it's supposed to be more centered.

For reference, here's the finally front cover on a regular paperback purchased through amazon (I.E. what a normal customer would receive):

#andi talks #publishing costs #publishing numbers #indie publishing #self publishing #call me icarus #writeblr

[lamaenthel]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank you for tagging me @ahsokathegray !!<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25! 

2. What's your total A03 word count?

231k lmaoooo when did that happen I feel like I've been in a fugue state since February

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars (and technically, TECHNICALLY The Matrix but it's a Star Wars AU fusion lmao)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Porg Eyes, Princess For A Year, Ram'ser'ika, Better Than Nothing, The Contingency

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes every single one omfg I love everyone

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, Soft Dark Nothing is Ahsoka and Rex on the moon right after The Tribunal crashed so by default it's gotta be her (rip Jesse my beloved)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not Bad ends up with Snips n Skyguy going to Biscuit Baron lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet but I live in fear every day especially since I'm dipping my toe in the Republic Commandos pond and I know the girlies are passionate

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do and it's ridiculously graphic HAHAHA no but there's a reason I haven't posted any Rexsoka smut. Makin y'all wait for it until they COMMIT, gotta keep that tension in there somewhere uwu. But wlw, mlw, mlm, aliens and cyborgs gonna work their way in there eventually (?) I have Not Out Loud, which is an mlm fic with Boba tying up Cal and facefucking him (Kesett nation rise)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Go Ask Ahsoka is the Matrix crossover that I wrote for AU August which I will eventually update lmfao

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No but I would cry

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not like… technically but Erika is my beta and my bestie and she comes up with amazing ideas and lets me play with her OCs so honestly she counts (ilu)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Rexsoka 💙🧡, closely followed by Anidala (burning down the galaxy for a single person is objectively WRONG but also hot)

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Well Do Not Go Gentle is a huge fucking project that I HOPE I finish one day

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at action. I enjoy it which helps lmao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get really ahead of myself laying out hints and red herrings which I then forget about (Princess For A Year especially is the worst about this, I am so sorry for all of those hints about Sylen being a pretend Mandalorian I fucked up so bad with that one but I'm going to rewrite it eventually to bring back a bunch of my dropped subplots)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I enjoy it and do so regularly. Mando'a nuhur'shya ni ru'kar'tayli. And it makes my brain work in unexpected ways, it's like a puzzle trying to figure out the wacky ass baby's-first-conlang grammar that is Karen's creation (what the fuck kind of language doesn't have a passive voice)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

OKAY OKAY TECHNICALLY, TECHNICALLY????? It was the Lion King. I was in first grade and we had to write a little storybook and illustrate the pages they gave us with crayons and my story was How Simba Lost His Mane lmfaoooo

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I have poured my whole heart, soul, brain, and pussy into Tivaevae pls read it it's longer than The Hobbit

no pressure tags: @soliloquy-of-nemo, @tangledlichen, @ink-in-books, @hannah-schooler

#tag game #LOOK MA I DO ACTUALY REMEMBERED TO DO ONE OF THESE #rexsoka #kesett #my writing

[rollercoasterwords]

10 books!! :•)

ty 4 the tag @otrtbs (+ @serethereal i'm just doing it on this blog) <3 here r 10 books 2 get 2 know me

1. a history of glitter and blood, by hannah moskowitz

favorite book of. all time probably. first read this when i was like 16 i think and since then i've reread it about once a year. keep waiting for it to like...hit me less hard but every time i read it i am still v much moved in the same sort of way that i was the first time!!

2. the last unicorn, by peter s. beagle

feel like this story is like. integral 2 me as a person. first encountered it in the form of the 1982 movie as a child + then discovered it was a book in high school. there are differences between the two of course but the central themes are the same + i do think the ending like. permanently altered my brain as a child such that it has shaped my worldview ever since

3. the archive of alternate endings, by lindsey drager

newest addition 2 the list!! just read this book like a month ago and it was so good that it now has a place of honor on my favorites list <3 made me full-body sob but is like. so exactly perfect for me as a book that it felt like it was written 4 me

4. animorphs, by k.a. applegate

surprisingly not a childhood series 4 me bc i watched one episode of the tv show they made in the 90s + it scared me so much that i never touched the books. however i read the entire series in college and. it is now one of my favorite works of literature ever.

5. gormenghast, by mervyn peake

this book means a lot 2 me personally bc it's like. tied 2 my dad 4 me <3 he's a big reader but our tastes only have a small overlap, so it's not super often that we'll both love the same book. but when i was in high school i was looking for something 2 read + he pulled gormenghast off his bookshelf + was like try this nobody's ever heard of it bc peake is not well-known but it's like. sprawling dark fantasy. + it ended up being one of the most beautiful + unique stories i have ever read <3

6. you too can have a body like mine, by alexandra kleeman

a favorite satire <3 love kleeman's writing style + the sort of weird suburbia-horror of this story

7. the man who laughs, by victor hugo

generally speaking i am not a big ~classics~ person however. my final year of hs this was the book i chose for my like big final english paper + it's like. the first book i really had 2 study on a deeper level + i loved all the twisting symbolism + the tragedy of it all

8. six of crows, by leigh bardugo

technically this is 2 books bc i'm thinking of the entire duology but. yeah <3 fave like. fun fantasy story 2 reread when i want a book that makes me feel like i'm watching a movie while i read it. also love love love all the characters <3

9. this is how you lose the time war, by max gladstone and amal el-mohtar

first time i read this book i felt like my brain was melting!!! so short but the exact kind of story that i love; sort of scrambled poetic writing style + weird dark fantasy + sci-fi elements

10. no future: queer theory and the death drive, by lee edelman

i actually. do not recommend this book as it is so dry + dense and an absolute slog 2 read. however it makes the list bc encountering lee edelman's writing abt reproductive futurity + the death drive was like. top 10 life-altering moments that fundamentally changed the way i think in college. so!!!

no-pressure tags: @steelycunt @dykefever @pomegranate-pill @suspendedinbush @mayescapade :•)

#book recs #tag game <3 #obviously i am a. big fantasy person as is evident from this list lol #i think it will simply always be my favorite genre !! apologies 4 the lack of genre diversity on this list tho lol #also mutuals. if anyone wants 2 exchange storygraphs <3 #currently i am only following my beloved ridi aka tumblr user steelycunt + i think it would be fun 2 see what ur all reading!!

[voraciousvore]

The Giant (6/16)

***Contains mouthplay and sex! 18+ only!***

------Chapter 6------

When we got back to Chester's house, he started to prepare dinner early, since he told me it would take a while to cook. As I sat on the counter watching his every move, I noticed how skilled he was with a knife as he chopped and peeled some giant carrots. I had to admit he was a talented cook. The food he had prepared for me always tasted amazing. I supposed such a characteristic was in line with his gluttonous inclination. I wondered to myself, with a twinge of anxiety, if he would want to eat me tonight. Although I wasn't as afraid of him as I had been before, the prospect of being inside his gigantic maw again still made me nervous. I was uncomfortably reminded that he was still a predator, and I was still his prey.

I pushed those feelings to the side and tried to keep myself composed. The giant mixed all his food ingredients together in a big pot and left it to simmer on the stovetop. He grasped me in his hand and went to his study to write. I watched him type for a while and wandered the desk again until I got bored.

"Chester?" I asked. "Can you open up one of those books for me so I can read?"

"I'd be my pleasure, darling." Chester paused his typing for a moment to get me set up with a book of my choosing. Naturally, wanting to know more about the world I found myself in, I chose a history textbook. Chester opened the book flat on the desk to the first chapter and occasionally helped me turn a page, although I was technically able to move the cumbersome pages on my own. Reading took me longer than usual since the book was so large, I had to physically traverse the page to read the whole thing.

I read about how the giants had once lived in the human world, in the days when both humans and giants were less numerous. The giants made their homes on the fringes of society, since they were not welcome with the humans, primarily in secluded mountainous regions that were too difficult or inhospitable for humans for access. Due to limited food resources, however, they had to regularly make their way to coastal areas to hunt for sea monsters, which were large enough to adequately feed them. Apparently other giant species of mammals lived in the mountains that they could dine on as well, but these creatures were eventually hunted to extinction. As food sources dwindled the giants fed more and more on human societies, despite the danger that humans posed.

According to the history text, humans in these times possessed potent magic that could even rival the power of a hungry giant. Human civilizations were protected by magical barriers and other spells, but giants would still eat stray travelers who passed through unprotected areas. Eventually, humans declared war on the giants and used their most powerful spells to slay many of them. The giants retaliated brutally and wrought devastation on human settlements. The cycle of slaughter continued for a long time until both parties begrudgingly accepted a truce. The human wizards would use their strongest spells to create a realm for the giants to live in, away from humans, which became the Land of Giants. However, this compromise came with huge costs for both parties involved. The giants would be banished from their homes, and forced to live where they could no longer partake in their favorite food, humans. The humans, for their part, would lose all their magic and their best wizards. The magic required to create the Land of Giants and transport all the giants there drained all the magical reserves of the human realm to virtually nothing. Furthermore, the only spell strong enough to transport all the giants required the wizards to go with them, essentially forcing the wizards to sacrifice themselves for the sake of humanity. Nevertheless, the solution was vital to prevent the eventual destruction of both sides.

Interestingly, the history book delved into the religious beliefs of the giants as well. The giants had been created by God to act as stewards of the earth, and to keep the human population under control. They had betrayed their purpose when decimating the human cities and hunting the other giant animals, both the mountain and sea monsters, to extinction. Thus, their banishment, and their constant cravings for human meat which would be denied to them, were just punishments for their gluttony ordained by God. This belief was an important reason why the giants had accepted their fate in the first place, rather than continuing to fight the humans.

So, if I were to believe everything that I read in this book, the lore that Chester had told me was true. However, such a tall tale beggared belief, and left me with just as many questions as answers. If these stories were reality, why weren't the giants, or magic for that matter, mentioned in any human histories? Magic and giants were considered myths by modern humans, fit only to grace fantasy stories and fairy tales. Obviously, as unbelievable as the notion was, giants existed. Did that mean that magic was real too? How did it work? Going by the book, magic was eradicated from the human realm. Did that mean my only way back home was gone forever? Was there still magic present in the Land of Giants? What caused the lightning that teleported me here? Was that magic?

"Chester?" I inquired. "What do you know about magic?"

Chester stopped typing. "Not much," he responded. "Giants aren't able to use magic, only humans are. I've never seen it used in my lifetime, so I don't know."

"Oh," I sighed softly. Chester continued typing again.

After typing for a while, Chester said, "Sorry, I wish I could tell you more. Perhaps sometime we can go to a library and read up on it. Although, that wouldn't be safe for you, being around other giants and all." He finished up his work and put his computer to sleep. "Dinner should be ready by now." I hopped into his gigantic hand and we went to the kitchen. Chester prepared me a miniature serving of stew and grabbed a giant bowl for himself, along with a glass of the same red wine he had the night before. When I asked for a sip of wine, he delicately gripped me with his finger and thumb and dangled me over the glass so I could drink.

As I dug into my portion, I noticed warily that Chester wasn't attacking his dinner with his usual enthusiasm. He picked at his food, mostly opting for big gulps of wine instead. In apparent contradiction, I could hear his stomach growling under the table. Resting his chin in his hand, he eyed me as I finished my share of the stew. The giant didn't say anything but I knew what he was thinking. Perhaps in his reticence he was trying to be polite, or respect my wishes, but ultimately, he wanted to slurp me up with his meal. I appreciated at least that he didn't demand that I jump into the bowl outright.

I cleared my throat. "Do you want me to...?" I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. Chester cocked his eyebrow expectantly. I pointed at the big bowl of stew. The giant grinned, showing off his enormous white teeth, and nodded deliberately. My courage faltered. I grimaced, looking down at my clothes. "I should probably change into the clothes I wore yesterday so this outfit won't get ruined," I remarked.

"I'll go grab them for you," Chester declared, getting up out of his chair. As he raised himself to his full height, I felt my heart flutter, and a very strange idea came into my head. Perhaps a terrible idea.

"Wait," I uttered, scarcely believing I was crazy enough to go through with it. The giant paused and looked all the way down to me, his shadow casting over the table. I gulped nervously and licked my lips. He slowly lowered himself back into his seat, not breaking eye contact. "I could just..." My heart was pounding against my ribs, but not from terror. Chester looked mildly confused but also intrigued. "I mean... I don't really need clothes at all, right? If they'll just get messed up anyway."

Chester raised his eyebrows in surprise. "That's... that's true." He ran his tongue over his teeth. As the idea sank in, his face twisted into a ravenous smile. "You'll taste a lot better too." My face reddened. He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. I took off my shoes and socks, then stood on the table awkwardly with my bare feet.

"Go on," Chester encouraged. As he watched, I removed my shirt. I unbuckled my pants and let them drop. I was only wearing my undergarments now. Then, in a flash of boldness, I cast off my bra and panties. Chester leaned forward over me. Though he didn't speak, he was already devouring my body with his hungry eyes. I huddled my arms against my comparatively diminutive form. The giant reached out his huge hand, as if to grab me, but stopped before his fingers coiled around me.

"May I...?" he inquired, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Yes," I responded quietly. I expected him to pick me up in his hand, but instead he gingerly stroked my naked body with his finger, tracing my feminine curves. He held his face so close to see all the details that it eclipsed the rest of the room. I could feel his warm breath washing over my skin. I looked into the deep pools of his eyes as they wandered, so close up, admiring the flecks of gray and gold amidst the shades of green, surrounding the deep black holes of his pupils. His gigantic hand gently wrapped around me, lifting me over to the edge of the dinner bowl. I carefully lowered myself into the stew, somewhat relieved that I could hide my nakedness. The stew was nice and hot, like a jacuzzi. I treaded over to the center of the bowl and floated in the thick liquid amongst chunks of meat and vegetables.

I tried to act nonchalant, but the truth was I was highly aroused. I wasn't used to such admiration and attention, especially from a giant man, larger than life, that I was very attracted to. I had always been insecure about my looks, since I was not all that pretty or skinny. Perhaps the exorbitant size difference made it harder for Chester to see my imperfections, since I was so small. Maybe he had been interested more from the perspective of curiosity or novelty, rather than sex appeal. It's not like a massive giant and a miniscule human could engage in sexual acts together anyways... right?

While I was lost in my thoughts, Chester had in the meantime consumed several bites of stew, and was making his way towards me. He scooped me up in the spoon with some liquid and brought me up to his mouth, then paused. He pursed his lips, and I assumed he was going to sip the liquid from the spoon. Instead, much to my surprise, he pressed his plush lips against my body in what could only be described as... a kiss. A pleasant, soft kiss. I was expecting to be eaten and instead I was kissed. For a moment I was too stunned to react. The giant mouth curled into an amorous smile. I reached forward, holding his lower lip in my hand, and planted a kiss of my own on his lip in return. His lips parted, and the lines of teeth separated, releasing a breath of air. I was greeted, yet again, with the fleshy interior of his mouth, and the dark void of his gullet, but unlike before I felt no fear. Gently, the spoon entered his mouth and deposited me on his enormous tongue. The jaws closed around me, enveloping me in the familiar wet darkness inside his body. The giant's tongue undulated beneath me, rubbing my small frame lightly against his molars and the roof of his mouth. This time, more than merely tasting me, I sensed as if he were trying to feel every inch of me.

Per the norm, the giant swallowed every bite of stew while maintaining my position in his mouth. He mostly just gulped down the solid pieces without chewing them, although occasionally played with them with his teeth. Surprisingly, armed with the knowledge that I would not be harmed, I actually didn't mind much being in his mouth, as long as the experience didn't go on for too long. I knew the giant genuinely enjoyed the flavor, so the fact that he was happy made me happy. He hummed deep in his throat with pleasure, then dumped a torrent of wine into his mouth. He swirled it around in his mouth a bit, creating a small whirlpool, then guzzled it down his throat.

After a few more spoonfuls of stew, the giant appeared to have finished his meal, and was rolling me around on his tongue as he had done the last time. Unlike before, though, he manipulated my body into an upright position and pressed my back carefully against his front teeth. Confused, I stood in the red flesh in his maw that was normally underneath the tip of the tongue, a puddle of drool up to my knees. I could feel his blood pulsing through the veins leading to his gums on my back. His huge tongue reared up in front of me, then caressed my shoulders, my bare breasts, my stomach, working its way down until it reached my thighs. The tip of the tongue pushed my legs apart and forced its way in between. When the realization hit me what he was trying to do, I almost shoved his tongue away, but stopped myself. I was... enjoying the act. His tongue rubbing in the middle of my legs was awakening a strong physical response. I'm sure he could taste it too. The puddle of saliva I was standing in deepened. The formidable tongue pushed up into me, lifting me up while still pressing me against the front teeth. The sensation was utterly bizarre, unlike anything I had experienced before, yet still unexpectedly arousing. A low moan welled up from the giant's throat, vibrating through his mouth; I suppose he was enjoying himself as well.

When I felt that I had had enough, I patted his tongue with my hand and pushed it away. I didn't have sufficient strength to force it back, but Chester seemed to understand, gently moving my body until I was sitting on the middle of his tongue again. He separated his jaws and inserted the spoon to help me get out. I mounted my shiny silver chariot and covered my eyes as I was brought back out through the teeth into the bright light of the dining room.

Chester licked his lips. "That... wasn't too much for you, was it?" he asked cautiously. His cheeks were burning.

I giggled. "Not at all, although it certainly caught me by surprise." I bit my lip. "Now it's my turn, right?" I stood up on the spoon. Chester raised an eyebrow. I looked down over the side, making sure I wouldn't fall into the wrong spot, and boldly jumped off the spoon, missing the edge of the table and landing in the giant's lap. Chester dropped the spoon in shock. I heard the spoon clatter on the table above.

"What are you-" Before he could finish his sentence, I had already crawled down into his pants. As I suspected, he was already fully erect. Better yet, I was already lubed up and ready to go, my whole body soaked with saliva from being inside his mouth. I hopped on his penis, which was of course much bigger than my entire body, as if I were riding a horse. I went to work, using the full force of my limbs and body to jerk him off as best I could. I could feel the blood rushing to his member as his heart rate quickened. His breathing grew heavy and fast and he fidgeted in his seat, moaning softly. Being inside his pants was stifling and hot, and I started to sweat from the exertion, but I threw myself into my work with enthusiastic vigor. His vocalizations, muffled by the fabric surrounding me, grew louder. All at once I felt him stiffen and erupt, letting out an ecstatic groan. I couldn't believe it: I had made him orgasm. As his member started to soften, Chester reached into his pants and pulled me out.

"I can't believe you just did that," he stated, incredulous. "But I must say, well done."

"You did get me turned on," I admitted, laughing.

"I think we both need to get cleaned up now," Chester remarked wryly. He walked to the bathroom and turned on the faucet for the bathtub. "Would you like to... take a bath with me?"

"Sure," I replied, blushing slightly. He set me on the bathroom counter, which was cold after being intimately acquainted with the heat of the giant's flesh. However, despite everything that had transpired, I had yet to see him naked. He unbuttoned his shirt and peeled it off, revealing his gigantic torso. He was neither fat nor thin nor muscular, but rather strongly built and healthy, with a crop of hair sprouting from his chest. As he moved I admired his muscles flowing under his skin. Next, he removed his pants and underwear, exposing thick hairy legs. Overall, his body was very well-proportioned, broad and thick and strong. Personally, I thought he was very sexy.

Chester offered me his hand, and I stepped into his palm. Setting me down on the side of the tub, he moved his huge leg up and stepped over the wall into the tub, following up with his other leg. Watching the powerful movements of his giant naked figure left me drooling. He settled his massive bulk into the water, which as the bath was still filling up only came up to his belly button. I excitedly jumped in next to him with a splash. I was eager to get clean, sure, but I also wanted to explore his nude physique. I swam over to his belly and beached myself on the plushy surface. Since the giant was inclined back, I was able to scale his body, like climbing a living mountain. He watched with amusement as I trekked up his titanic frame, past his stomach and chest until finally I perched on his shoulder.

"Having fun?" Chester laughed. He grabbed some soap and lathered it on his arms and torso. I took the opportunity to slide down his slippery arm and landed in the bathwater with a splash. As I resurfaced, his giant hands suddenly snatched me up and rubbed soap all over me. I giggled as his massive digits explored my curves. He brought me up close to his face so he could see me better and smiled. I rubbed soap from one of his fingers on my face. He playfully tossed me back into the water and I shrieked as I plummeted through the air, although of course I was safe. After I rinsed off Chester placed me on his knee and offered me a dollop of shampoo on the tip of his finger. I gratefully took it and we both washed our hair. I used his leg as a slide and splashed back into the water to rinse myself off again.

As the giant continued to wash himself, I used his body as a playground until I wore myself out. Then, I floated on my back in the water, gazing at the colossus stretching far above me with wonder. So much had changed in such a short time, but I still marveled at his incredible size. Once he was finished, he scooped me up out of the water with his hand, so I was laying flat in his palm. He wrapped me up in a big fluffy washcloth and set me on the counter. After we dried off and changed, Chester carried me to the bedroom and once in bed I fell asleep on his chest again.

Chapter 7

Chapter 1

#g/t writing #g/t #giant #giant/tiny #tiny #giant tiny #size difference #g/t fluff #g/t vore #the giant #gentle giant #giant men #vore writing #vore story #mouthplay #mawplay #nsft #gt vore #v0r3 #v0re #v.ore #vo.re #vor.e #g/t story #male pred #v/ore #safe vore

[darkimpala1897]

Okay I did the Cleven twins earlier, then I decided to take the whole twin thing a little farther. So meet the Hamilton twins which makes them sound like a music group and here's twenty of my thoughts.

1. Hams twin is named Frank Edward Hamilton or Porkchop sometimes Porky, and sometimes Pork.

2. He's the depressing twin, he's also nicknamed Mr Sadness and Mr Sunshine because duh.

3. Everyone thinks that Hambone isn't a natural blonde because of his brunette of a brother.

4. Frank was born at eleven thirty well Ham was born at midnight, making Frank a day older in technicality.

5. They share one brain cell collectively, like they aren't the sharpest tool in the shed.

6. Frank was the reason why Ham has his two gold teeth because when they were kids, he dared Ham to eat a rock and in the process Ham broke two of his teeth.

7. When Frank was captured by the Krauts, he made them depressed and question their life choices.

8. Frank was the reason why they kept going in the prison camp mostly because Frank kept going "It doesn't matter if we escape, we are all going to die eventually and be in the black abyss." Lets just say that made everyone want to get out mostly to get away from Frank.

9. Ham tries to get Frank to socialize which goes as well as you can imagine, he usually scares away a girl within five seconds, Bucky makes a bet with Buck at how fast Frank can make a girl run away.

10. Ham spaces out, well Frank just stares into your soul.

11. Bubbless nickname for him is Hams Creepy Brother or Mr Creepy.

12. Frank has a hamster named Bucky, which everyone is afraid he'll sacrifice.

13. Ham sorta sits like a normal person, not Frank he makes sure to make people question if they are using their chair correctly. He'll also sit on things that aren't chairs because he can.

14. If you can't find Frank he's usually in this tightest and smallest nook he could find with a book.

15. Ham on the other hand can't read, well I mean not well, he's dyslexic he jokes his twin absorbed his "reading smarts" whatever that means.

16. Frank is secretly scary smart like he pretends to be stupid but he's not.

17. Ham is to put it lightly dumb as a box of rocks, but Frank loves him.

18. Frank is a navigator hilariously enough.

19. Frank knows morbid facts, he tells these facts to the poor Bombardier that gets stuck with him. He one time told him and I qoute "How easy it was for the human body to burst like a watermelon on a hot summer day." Lets just say that poor Bombardier was not traumatized by the Krauts, but Frank.

20. Ham and Frank can talk to each other with just there hands and eyes, everyone jokes they can read each others minds which might be possible.

Bonus modern day fact. Frank definitely has a lip ring in a modern universe just saying.

That's it! I hope the person who adores Hambone sees this, do with this information as you people want add onto it if you want. I don't care have fun.

#headcanon #masters of the air #joseph bubbles payne #gale buck cleven #john bucky egan #twins au #howard hambone hamilton #hammy <33 #howard hamilton

[nashiriel]

hi! i first wanted to tell you that you are the author of my two absolute favorite HOTD fanfics - carrion and consanguinity! you write so beautifully.

i was wondering if you could clarify the ages of everyone in consanguinity and perhaps carrion as well?

also! i was wondering if you had any sort of updating schedule in mind for the two fics? no rush! i just absolutely adore them

🥹 This was such an unbelievably lovely message to read anon, so thank you so much for the kind words, and I apologise for how long it’s taken me to reply.

I’m so pleased you like those two fics and in terms of your questions:

I tend to roughly blend show canon with book canon when it comes to ages.

In Consanguinity, Aemond is about 19, Addam and Jace both 16, Alyn 15, Luke 14, Joffrey 9. Aegon and Viserys haven’t really featured in Consanguinity much so far, but they’re the biggest victims of my nebulous aging - in Carrion, I tend to picture Aegon about 6 and Viserys about 3 as a compromise between what they accomplish in the book canon and their ages on the show.

Addam and Alyn’s ages in relation to Jace obviously don’t speak massively well of Laenor’s respect and fidelity for his wife, and is another reason why Rhaenyra advocating for the legitimacy comes across as quite weird. While technically it rebuts the presumption that Laenor’s rumoured orientation makes it impossible for him to have fathered her children, it could certainly be read that Laenor simply had no interest in Rhaenyra - or, worse, that he had no qualms about it because he didn’t consider her boys as his (not a massively strong argument when Laenor publicly recognised them as such, but definitely juicy enough for some rumours to be spinning).

“It just goes to show that Rhaenyra should have married me instead of that ungrateful fuck the whole of Driftmark is a den of fornication and immorality and claiming a dragon clearly proves nothing about one’s legitimacy,” Alicent agrees loftily with Cole as soon as they’re out of earshot.

And tbh, Luke is right to feel quite uneasy about the prospect of having a kid at his age. The mention of Aemma was no accident; I hope to hell she’s aged up in the show, because she married Viserys at 11 in the books - and if you do the maths on her pregnancies, it was consummated pretty quickly. No fucking wonder the poor woman had so much trouble. As for the schedule, I’m planning the next two chapters of Consanguinity as they cover fairly pivotal parts of the plots (though I may shorten them after the sprawl of my last few updates) followed by Carrion, but I have proven very fickle with my own planning, so we’ll see!

#house of the dragon #lucerys velaryon #aemond targaryen #consanguinity #anon ask #addam velaryon #lucemond #luceaddam #jacaerys velaryon #alyn velaryon #joffrey velaryon

[shirohige-pirates]

Birds of a Feather

CisFem Reader x Marco

CW: Violence, blood, language, adult themes and scenes. 18+ only

Summary: Life has not been kind to you. After a string of bad relationships, you're a little jaded and a little depressed in all honestly. The worst day of your life seems to be the turning point, but the roller coaster ride that follows could either throw you soaring free, or have you caged forever?

Chapter 16: Frustrations

Tuesday you entered the garage once Marco brought the two of you back to your house for the day. Sure enough there was your car - you’re practically new car. Everything had either been machined, replaced, or refurbished, and you were certain the only miles on the new engine were however many Kid used to make sure everything was perfect before driving it from the shop to here.

“Wow.” Marco whistles. “It looks brand new.”

“Technically it practically is.” You admit, walking by the small work bench you had in the garage and picking the keys up before walking around it. “Man, Usopp did a phenomenal job.”

The 1978 phoenix design had been expertly recreated on the hood. Black lined the body, fading into blue, and then teal, and finally there was small golden area around where the bird’s heart would be. The wings were hollow like the original design, lined thinly in metallic gold with teal for the flames. Against the blue of the car’s body it really made the design pop.

The final touches were what you and Usopp had talked about the most. It was based off a design you’d seen of the mythological Phoenix in a book you’d read. One that, well, you weren’t sure anyone else had access to anymore.

Three sets of golden rings chained from the main body of the bird’s tail feathers. One wove its way down around the headlight assembly, the final orb painted behind the car’s manufacturer’s insignia. The other two chains slid off the hood and fluttered down the quarter panels of the car, ending just before the door handles.

“`What uh… what prompted these colors and this design?” Marco questions, walking around the car with you and admiring the work.

“It’s a little unorthodox right? Usually the phoenix is depicted with reds and golds. A powerful entity of life and rebirth and immortality.” You begin. “Timeless and mythological.”

Running your fingers over the last few chain links of golden tail feathers on the car’s door you pause for a moment before continuing.

“I read a book a long time ago, thanks to Ivan shoving books in my hands almost faster than I could read them, that had an illustration of the phoenix with colors like these.” You smile softly, a mix of the memory and your little white lie. Ivankov had shoved books into your hands as fast as you could read them when you were younger, but even so, most of the books you had read were contained within your library. A place no one could enter unless you let them.

A place that would get you executed on the spot, changed world or not, if anyone ever learned about it. You hadn’t even told Ivan about it, though you were pretty sure that he knew you had a devil fruit, even if you never used it or talked about it. Your surrogate guardian was dangerously observant.

“It was a book on Devil Fruits,” you say a little abruptly, pulling yourself out of your own memories. “That’s where I got the word tori too. The Tori Tori no Mi are a class of bird-related devil fruits, and besides, Tori-chan is just an absolutely adorable name for a car that’s probably going to sound like a demon if I rev the engine a little roughly.”

“Ah, I see. So you’re a, uh, fan of that devil fruit?” His words are a little awkward, but his expression is relaxed. He gives you an easy smile when you look over at him.

“I mean, it is a really cool fruit, but I don’t know that I’d say I was a fan.” You clarify. “No matter what a devil fruit is or does, the effectiveness of any of them is based on a ton of different variables. The stamina of the user, their capacity to mesh with the fruit, the creativity required to utilize it, and the control to keep from burning themselves out.”

You clear your throat a little, popping the trunk to see if Kid left you any surprises. “If I was a fan of any fruit, it’d be more like being a fan of the person who had it. You know, how well they could use it, and what they used it for.” You explain, pulling out a jumper kit, an emergency kit and a blanket from the trunk before lifting up the floor to see how the spare tire and jack were situated.

“I mean, who’d be a fan of someone who had like, a healing fruit and all they did was go around and kill people?” You start putting the kits back in the trunk and give Marco a smile. “It wouldn’t be the fruit’s fault, at least, but what a waste.”

“That makes sense.” He murmurs. Taking in a breath he smiles, focusing on you more than the car. “Want some company for your first drive?”

You grin. “You trust me enough to relinquish control like?” You tease.

Marco grins. “I like driving my car, yoi.” He begins. “It doesn’t mean I have trust issues.”

“Mmm, but you do like being in control.” You assert, giving him a pointed look as you unlock the car.

“You’re not talking about driving anymore.” He grins, getting into the passenger seat and setting it as far back as it will go.

“I was not,” you admit, settling in and hitting the garage door before you start up the car. The engine in your Firebird is a little louder than Marco’s SEL, but it rumbles smoothly, and the even though it’s amplified within the confines of the garage, it’s not so loud as to be a nuisance.

“It feels like it’s been months since I’ve gotten behind the wheel.” You run your hands over the steering wheel. “It’s a little surreal honestly.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, everything’s new, effectively. This isn’t my car, but it is most certainly my car.” You try to explain. “Kid did a solid job.”

“You’re not wrong, yoi. I might have to consider seeing if he’d be willing to be my primary mechanic.”

“If you actually let him work on that SEL he’d probably pay you for the privilege.” You laugh. “Next time we have a reason to go to the shop I’ll see if I can get him to show you Victoria.” You turn, looking over your shoulder as you back out of the garage. “It’s certainly one thing you two have in common, if nothing else.”

“Hm? He’s more into the older luxury cars?”

“Yeah, Vicky’s a 1957 Bel Air.”

You drove the two of you along a few back roads, hitting a long open stretch and really opening the motor for a couple of miles. You didn’t want to push your luck too much, but it was nice to be behind the wheel again. It was even nicer to have a car that wasn’t going to break down on you on the way to work, or well, anywhere within the island honestly.

You and Marco talked about cars while you drove. How he effectively inherited his from his Pops, and you admitted that your car had been a gift from Ivankov. It wasn’t in the greatest shape when you’d first gotten it, and you’re pretty sure Ivan had only meant for you to drive it for a couple of years before buying your own.

Before the car had given out, however, you’d ended up getting close to Kid. With his business it just made sense to let him keep the car running, and in the process you yourself had learned quite a bit about cars. It had worked out in the end, and even Kid had been trying to get you to replace the Firebird for the last couple of years.

He wasn’t sick of working on it, so much as he was probably worried the frame would just snap while you were in the middle of driving.

But now that wasn’t a concern. Tori-chan was as new and as safe as you could hope for, and in a way the entire process really had made her something of a phoenix.

After the drive it was dinner.

And then farewells.

The kiss in the foyer was gentle, long, sweet, and entirely too brief.

Your fingers had stayed entwined in his for as long as you could possibly manage, and you didn’t want him to leave.

He didn’t want to leave.

But there would be work in the morning, and you had your date plans set for Friday. Time that had danced around you and slipped through your fingers might deign to slow the next couple of days, but it would still move forward. It had no other choice.

Once you closed your front door, however, you had a problem you hadn’t really ever had before.

Your home was empty.

Empty hadn’t ever really been a word you had used to describe it before. It was, perhaps, a bit too big for a single person, but it had all that you needed and more. You had shelves of books, plenty of storage, and room enough to host parties occasionally. A little more than modest, decidedly less than ostentatious.

But it hadn’t ever felt empty before. Not like this.

You tried to tell yourself it was the rush of a new love, but you’d had “new” lovers before now, and even then your home had been comfort. The peace and quiet gave you time to recharge, or cool off. It never left you feeling almost hollow.

Almost cold.

It was frustrating! You were full-grown, not some teenager led around by your nose by your libido. There was no reason to be so dramatic about it.

Flopping onto the couch with a sigh, you already knew the problem wasn’t your libido. Sure there was a lot of chemistry between you, and a lot of tension, and a lot of tenderness too. You teased each other on near equal terms, and you were certain he was struggling as much as you were.

The flush in his cheeks, the red in his ears, the heat that rolled off his neck and the desire that slipped from his lips like silk. The way his fingers twitched and flexed, and the pleased sounds that rattled around in his chest.

The way he restrained himself even though you could tell he just wanted to completely take over.

In some ways you wanted to let him. Not to lose yourself in him completely, but a little. Enough that, at least in certain situations, you could happily let him lead. Let him decide.

Let him hunt you.

“-you’re going to end up that Vet’s pet, little mouse.” Kid’s words echo in your brain a little, and you scoff into the empty air of your home.

Empty.

Grumbling and muttering, you pull yourself off the couch and grab a shower before turning in early for the day. Time would pass because it had to, and if you were just going to be frustrated sitting on the couch, you might as well get a little extra rest.

If things went well this weekend you’d need the extra energy anyway.

#Birds of a Feather #Marco x reader #x reader #reader insert #marco the phoenix #marco the pinepple #modern au

[lottieurl]

for the book ask meme: 3, 8 and 16 pls :)

3. what were your top five books of the year?

our wives under the sea by julia armfield - EASILY my favorite one. BOOK OF ALL TIME. i love love love julia's writing style (i DID also read her collection of short stories and loved that as well) and ummm maybe i could say more about it if i loved it less (spoiler alert i do say a lot when i hate it BDHSJSJ)

the book thief by markus zusak - i've wanted to read this one for a rly long time and it did NOT disappoint. wah.

fingersmith by sarah waters - IT'S SUCH A GOOD BOOK WHY IS EVERYONE I TALK TO ON TUMBLR DOT COM NOT AWARE OF THIS. also if you've seen the handmaiden so you're worried you know too much - the plot is different and obviously so is the setting SO it's a completely different story

the stone sky by n. k. jemisin - the entire trilogy is amazing and based on the comments it seems people love the first book the most but i loved the third book and the ending so much i think the series peaks with this one. also: HOA (can we talk about hoa i've been dying to talk about hoa-)

mockingjay by suzanne collins - book authors would just do that?? just break my heart with no warning?? (i did know. I Knew Very Well)

8. Did you meet any of your reading goals? Which ones?

YEAH! my goal was to read 12 books which isn’t much but i kind of fell out of the habit of reading so the idea was to read at least one book a month. i ended up reading 23 so that's technically a goal accomplished (let's all ignore that i didn't read a single book for 6 months because i was too hyperfixated on yellowjackets to focus dhsjsjs)

16. What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

THE SEVEN HUSBANDS OF EVELYN HUGO. OH MY GOD I HATED IT. HATED IT WITH A PASSION. WHAT DO YOU MEAN "She swelled in all the places Don went flat. She was flat in the places Don swelled." MADE IT PAST EDITORS. anyway. infuriating book like stop telling me [x] is the love of your life when all i really know about [x] is that [x] is conventionally attractive like my god how about we try exploring those relationships beyond surface level. WHY IS IT SO HIGHLY RATED. the only positive thing i can say about it is it's really easy to read like the writing style isn't challenging but nothing else is either so it just feels like dinner at mcdonalds

#thank you 💜 #sorry its so late fhshsj #2023books

[hausofmamadas]

| To live and leave fast |

⁂

Pairing: Andrea Nuñez x Horacio Carrillo

For @narcosfandomdiscord NarcOctober - Day 16 (+ a bit of Day 15 tbh)

Prompt: Day of Surprises (+ a smidge of Day of Absolute Filth) - create a fanwork that focuses on dreams (+ a smidge of character's moral corruption)

Word count: ≈ 2.3K

TWs: Canon-consistent violence, Real Big Sad, angst with some smoochin'

What was he doing here? He couldn’t answer her. The blankness of before was all he could conjure up and that vast emptiness set him on the edge of panic. okay sjsjs the way I told myself that I was gonna stop at 800 words and it becamekfjs this. So again, imsorryforeverything but uhh yea, I barely proofread this so the Spanish is prolly rough and so is everything else but hey! We can just blame it on it’s all a dream, right ….? Right??? Anyway, enjoy some shockingly non-antagonistic and sometimes tender back-and-forth btwn these two and probably the most ooc Carrillo to ever exist bc I’ve never written for him before. Idk why I’m so obsessed with this crackship but I am and it is what it is

⁂

Her voice rang out, “So, tell me. How long do you really think you can go on like this?” almost in time with the flashing red light that cut through the half-broken blinds, filling the dank, dingy room.

Carrillo tried sitting forward from where he must’ve fallen asleep slumped against something, presumably the wall of someone’s living room. No, not someone’s living room. No one’s living room. Because the place was a mess, covered in old takeout wrappers from Tijuana’s finest dining establishments, broken glass, cobwebs, and dust that would’ve been more befitting of an ancient tomb than this place. The smell of vodka or maybe rubbing alcohol burned his nose but he couldn’t pinpoint where it might’ve been coming from.

Was he even still in Tijuana? Huh. Well, that would have to wait till later. Anyway, he didn’t need to know what city he was in to know he was in an abandoned safe house. Which narco faction it belonged to didn’t make a difference. This one had to have been empty for at least a month, probably more, judging by the disarray. That and the insect activity. From Escobar to El Señor de los Cielos, the pace of the narco-lifestyle only lent itself to living and leaving fast, and whatever got left behind was usually beside the point.

Okay, but how’d he get here.

Maybe if he asked her, she’d stop looking right through him from where she stood across the room, arms crossed, leaning back against a mostly empty bookshelf that housed a few old books, some technical manual for car engines, and what looked like some old issues of Penthouse or some other stag magazine. High brow reading. He wondered if sicarios knew how much of a cliche they all were. Just once he’d like to meet one who enjoyed basketweaving, or birdwatching, or who was sentimental about their girlfriend. Anything that broke type. Then again, when it came to breaking type, he wasn’t in the best position to judge.

“Ay, por favooor, cabrón.” Startled, he jerked forward at the sound of her voice. “Remember when I told you that you were straight out of Central Casting for a war movie?” Clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, she scoffed, “Who are you to talk about breaking type, hombre?”

What the hell. How’d she– He didn’t– Or, had he— Was he talking out loud this whole time?

He sat up straighter and a pain lit up his right side, going from dull to blinding. Hands already at the damp spot on his shirt, trying not to scream, he could tell the wound there was bleeding more now from the pressure of sitting up. Wait no, that was good. Actually, he could use that. Inhaling with the strength of his whole body, he pressed his fingers down, jamming them into the wound, and let the pain accumulate in his chest and ribcage, then exhaled, hoping his breath would send the sensation up further to his face, his forehead, activate the muscles there to share the load of his heavy eyelids.

He didn’t think he was talking out loud, but then, he must’ve been since she’d answered. That meant something, he knew. He couldn’t focus though. Why couldn’t he focus? What’d it mean? Oh right, blood loss. It was worse than he realized. But why wasn’t she helping him? No matter how furious she was with him, that wouldn’t have been like her, standing there while he bled out.

“Ay pinshe Carrillo, no seas mamón. I was helping but you fought me the minute I started trying to clean the thing. And then,” brows knit in his favorite it-is-what-it-is position, she pointed to a puddle by his feet, “you knocked the bottle out of my hands,” then shrugged, looking around the room absently. “And vodka was the only thing I could find in this place that even comes close to sanitary. So, I had to wait for you calm down or pass out before I could do anything.”

He had no memory of that. In fact, he had no memory of anything before that dingy little room. Which was weird. He’d been hit in the head enough times that lapses in memory weren’t an altogether foreign experience, but usually he could remember something from before. Sometimes it might be hours before whatever disaster, but he at least remembered. Now, it was just blank. It occurred to him that he might be–

“–and you might be in shock,” she finished aloud.

Jesus, was he saying everything he was thinking? He watched her and waited, seeing if she’d answer more questions in his head.

That light outside kept flashing, bathing the room in a deep shade of red that danced off the broken glass, creating macabre shadows that skittered up the walls, across the floor, the ceiling. Through the blinds too, it cast alternating stripes of red and black on her face. It would’ve been beautiful if it wasn’t so sinister-looking. Well no, it made her more stunning, in a haunting, alien way, even though she looked how she usually did: hair messily pulled back, a few strands hanging in her face, wearing a tank-top and that button-up he’d found at the Salvation Army in San Ysidro. He couldn’t focus. That’s right, he’d gone to drop off some old dining chairs he had no use for, caught it out of the corner of his eye hanging with the rest of the men’s button-ups. And instantly thought of her. Why couldn’t he focus. The pain finally reached his eyes.

Again, she answered his thoughts. “Well, as much as I wanted to fight you for fighting me,” she looked down, pinching the collar of the shirt and wiggling it back and forth like a dollar bill, “I didn’t get far enough in the process of dressing your wound to ruin it. And it is one of my favorites. I have to give it to you, tigre. Your attention to detail is the stuff of legend, and they were not wrong.”

At that, he smiled tiredly. She rocked forward, kicking off the bookshelf, and strode over to him, bits of glass crunching under the gummy, rubber souls of her boots. Doc Martens. So practical. They really were, the two of them, the same sometimes.

“Andrea,” her name came out in a whisper and a wince as he clutched at his side. He looked down in a daze that no matter how many times he blinked, how wide he forced his eyes open, he couldn’t shake. “How’d th– what happened? What are you doing here? How’d you– ,” he grunted, shifting his weight to his good side, “mm– get here?”

“Te he seguido, obvio.”

What? She follo– he hadn’t even briefed anyone on the raid at Agua Caliente until right before. Trujillo would never. Walt? No, after the debacle in Juarez, he was too wrapped up needing this win to jeopardize it by talking to a reporter. Even one as dogged and persistent as Andrea. And yes, she was resourceful. But resourceful, not psychic.

It felt like a lifetime of sitting there trying put it all together and he didn’t remember when she’d started making her way towards him, but she was already kneeling next to him now, slowly removing his hands from his side. Her eyes and forehead pinched in such a way that would’ve amplified his concern if he weren’t so out of it.

Her fingers felt cold around his neck. “Árre, we need to get this off,” she said, unbuttoning the collar of his uniform.

He was alarmed when his hands brushed hers and he saw they were covered in some dark substance. Oh, blood. Strange, it looked pitch black in this light. Andrea continued working her way down, pulling each button gingerly, so as not to hurt him more. The closer she got to his stomach, the more her hands began to resemble his, covered in black.

“Dale, mija. ¿Me vas a explicar lo que haces aquí ya o qué?”

He wanted to rub his thumb across her lip as it curled up in a smug smile. “Why? Should I not be here? You want me to leave? Sure,” she craned her neck around, and called out into the empty room, “I’ll just be on my way then and let someone in this massive crowd of eager, good samaritans help you.”

He chuckled thinly. When she faced back to him, she began untucking his shirt as delicately as possible. It hurt like a sonofabitch but it was going to hurt no matter what they did, so he softened the corners of his eyes, trying not to make her feel bad.

She continued. “The better question I think is, what are you doing here?”

Once he was free from his dress shirt, she grabbed both sides of the hole in the white shirt underneath and tore it wider to get a better look at the wound. Blood leaked out in streams down his stomach to his waist. It appeared to be a large gash from some kind of shrapnel. Much too jagged for a knife. The harsh sound of air through her teeth was a good indicator of what kind of shape he was in.

Alright so, shrapnel. But he couldn’t remember an explosion and there was no evidence of one having happened there in the room. What was he doing here? He couldn’t answer her. The blankness of before was all he could conjure up and that vast emptiness set him on the edge of panic.

He’d been doing a passable job not reacting too viscerally with his face, but when she started rifling through his pockets on either side, he grimaced, growling, “Ay, Andrea! Qué coño estás haciendo, porfavor.”

Paying him no mind, she held out her hand like a surgeon waiting for a scalpel. “Knife.”

He jutted his chin toward his feet. Spotting the shiny silver clip, she grabbed the knife from his boot, flicked it out, and made an incision in the hem of his uniform shirt. Catching the free section in her teeth, she tore down the length of the initial incision, and started packing the vodka-soaked gauze that she’d managed to hold onto after his freakout onto the wound and tying it with the strips of cloth cut from the shirt. When she pulled hard, securing the final knot, he nearly keeled over.

“Aycarajoperdónperdónperdóname,” she said, catching him by the shoulders.

She stayed there, acting as his scaffolding until the pain subsided. He lifted his chin to rest his forehead against hers and catch his breath. Just in her wanting to help him, the assurance of her fingertips against his shoulders, he felt her helping him. He couldn’t remember a time he was so grateful for another human being. Grateful in the way only she could make him feel. 

Speaking half to her and half to the ground, he tried putting the pieces together, “I don’t know what I’m doing here. For some reason–“ but lost the words when he’d barely gotten started.

“What?”

“I don’t know. It’s– I have this strange– I have a feeling we’ve always been here. And will … always be here.”

Andrea nodded, eyes closed, like she knew exactly what he was talking about. It might feel like a trap if they didn’t have each other. She was always more than enough.

After a beat of silence, she pulled back and looked at him sadly, like she knew something he didn’t. Which was odd given what she asked next. “Horacio, por favor, necesito saberlo. Why? Why did you do it?”

Why’d he do it? Why’d he do, what?

“I know it’s in there, I know you remember. You have to, or you’ll never make it out of here.”

He shook his head, squinting his eyes, confused and cranky like a kid prematurely woken up from a nap. “Make it out? I’m not gonna make it out. Not unless you help me. Look at–“ he motioned to his side, “Ni siquiera puedo andar, mija.”

“Yes, you can,” she insisted calmly, her eyes full of an inexplicable mix of hope and resignation.

What did she know that he didn’t?

“I don’t know anything you don’t know. You just don’t want to know it. But you have to try, tigre. Eso es la única manera de vengarte a él. No more cutting corners. No more deals with the devil. Eres mejor que eso, ya lo sabes.”

The devil. The devil. The flashing red light. Deals. Deals with the devil.

Ah. Calderoni. That. That fucking deal.

His own C.I.s in exchange for Calderoni’s intel on Agua Caliente, el Hipódromo, Carlos Hank Gonzalez. A bigger fish than the Arellanos. Even though he knew exactly what the family would do to the informants. They’d have to stop building bridges in Mexico to hang people from. He showed up in Tijuana to clean up Rebollo’s mess and gone ahead and made his own.

Still, she was never part of the deal. But he could guess how that happened. In some boardroom meeting he conveniently wasn’t present for, somehow “journalist” and “informant” got conflated. They were wise not to include him. Not only would he not have agreed, he would’ve ensured not a single one of them made it out of there on two feet and breathing.

So, is this what it’s like watching the boulder come crashing down the mountain for the hundredth? Thousandth? Millionth time?

Carrillo’s face fell with understanding. “But I can’t lose you.”

“Sí, pero lo tienes que hacer. You have work to do. Because I love you. And you love me. And you owe me. And,” she rolled her tongue along the inside of her cheek, and then flashed a dangerous smile, “I want you to burn the whole motherfucking thing to the ground.”

Then, cradling the back of his neck with both hands, she leaned in, lips christening him on the forehead, each of his eyelids, the tip of his nose, coming to a close at his own. There was a finality to the kiss that made him dig in deeper as if he could hold her here without lifting a finger, an urgency she returned so fiercely, when they broke away both their lips were swollen and flushed. Not without passion, but it wasn’t carnal so much as the pure desperation of goodbye.

“Going after those pinshe shingamadres is the least you can do.” He hadn’t even registered tears at his eyes until she brushed one with her thumb that had escaped down onto his cheekbone and mused, “After all, you are the reason I’m dead.”

∴

Slapped with a blast of air, his whole body jolted back to life, as he came to in a cold sweat, ceiling fan taunting him from above while he gasped for air and shivered against the damp sheets. He was so used to waking up violently like this, it didn’t even scare him anymore. Confused him a little, maybe. But reassurance was quick to follow and his breathing slowed as he relaxed, because ah, yes, he knew how to deal with the nightmares now.

Like clockwork, he reached for his life preserver, turning and throwing his arm over to the other side of the bed, expecting to feel the warmth of her back, her shoulders, hear her steady breathing next to him. But his hand sailed straight through empty air and landed on the cold, vacant spot of the mattress instead.

He almost doubled over. Pain unlike anything.

Worse than when Trujillo first delivered the news to him in his office. Much worse. The perpetual renewal of shock that this was real and the place in that dingy room in his head was not, only sharpened the blow each time. But he deserved to be wounded and wounded like this over and over again. After all, he was responsible, she was right about that.

She wasn’t here to help him with the nightmares anymore. Now, she only lived in his.

═

taglist: @narcosfandomdiscord @ashlingnarcos @drabbles-mc @narcolini

#andrea nuñez #horacio carrillo #andrea nuñez x horacio carrillo #narcoctober #Day of surprises #Although ngl I fully started writing this yesterday #But didn’t finish and was gonna make it my fourth amnesfy day post sksksksn #so also lowkey Day of Absolute Filth #But then the surprise prompts slapped and I was like :woah-weebay: #do I spy a porque no los dos #I think I do #and it turns out I did sksk #Also one of the most upsetting fics I’ve ever written probably sksksks #A rare Big Sad from me #I say as I cackle and kick my feet together with glee #narcos/narcos mexico crossover #narcos #narcos mexico #netflix narcos #netflix narcos mexico #narcos fandom discord

[walkawaytall]

lately i've been thinking about what seems to be the generally accepted headcanon that leia can't cook very well, and that han can--though i'm thinking that maybe it's more like the burger-off in parks and rec where leia can cook really good fancy food. what headcanons do you have for h/l that have to do with cooking/food?

So, I didn't specifically base this idea on anything on purpose, but now that I think about, I think Leia's relationship with cooking is really similar to the way my mom relates to cooking: once she learns how to do it, her food is perfectly passable but not outstanding. She has no particular love for it, and really only cooks if she has to. I see her as a very utilitarian cook: a lot of her meals are provided for her throughout her life, whether it be because she's literally royalty or because the Senate has a cafeteria (I don't actually know if the Senate has such amenities, but I pretend it does) or because the Alliance feeds their soldiers, but she can feed herself simple meals if the circumstances demand it. I don't really see Breha and Bail -- the parents who signed her up for a pathfinding program at age 16 -- sending her off to another planet to work as a teenager with zero knowledge as to how to feed herself. Or, if they initially didn't think about it, I think they'd make sure pretty quickly that she had a decent enough understanding of the basics to get by (I also headcanon that Breha enjoyed cooking a handful of dishes herself when she was able to/had the time, so she had some knowledge to pass on). Whether Leia chose to use whatever knowledge she had on a regular basis is another matter entirely.

Han...okay, this sort of dovetails into an entirely different headcanon I have for Han, which is that I think Han's a recreational reader and has had a bunch of weird hobbies that he's at least tried for awhile as a result of reading a lot of nonfiction/instructional books because...I mean, I imagine he and Chewie have a decent amount of downtime while traveling and dejarik cannot be that interesting. I think he probably got tired of whatever the space equivalent of ready-made food is like a year or two into smuggling and decided to try his hand at cooking. I imagine because of the way he grew up -- likely living off scraps, and I doubt they were pleasant -- he probably wants to enjoy his meals if he can in adulthood, which is really the drive there. I don't think he's like...a master chef or whatever, but I think his skills are likely above average just because he's had a decade to work on them and he's generally not afraid to try new things.

Also, this was technically originally based on some bit of canon that Bail and Breha would bribe a young Leia with sweetmallow cake when they had to attend a party that she couldn't go to, but cake being the only food item Leia has strong feelings about is quite possibly the most consistent thing across all of my fics at this point, and I like to imagine that her relationship with cake is identical to that of Mr. Ratburn on Arthur:

Thanks for asking!

#star wars headcanons #leia organa headcanons #han solo headcanons #hanleia headcanons

[ultimateaclrecovery]

Checking in on my 2023 goals!

23 things for 2023

1. buy 1 horse

Done!! Bought Luna!!!

2. Knit a pair of socks

I knit a sock, that I finished today. But I mostly decided I wanted to knit other things instead so this is fine

3. Three camping trips

went to mt of the holy cross, and New Mexico for two camping nights, plus a day hike in winter park. So technically no but pretty close!

4. Plant four pumpkins

…..no. I bought seeds and did nothing and I don’t feel that bad about it

5. Handstand (five fingers) press

Lol no. Did nothing for it. Never made a plan and so did not achieve

6. Kill side yard weeds (because weeds are the devil 666)

Success? I paid a Gardner to pull them all so yes! Feels like a failure because I didn’t really deal with them or the yard in general, but they are all gone now.

7. Go to Loyola social justice meeting (7th heaven)

I went to a meeting! And baked cookies for an event. (And then never went back oops)

8. Mail 8 letters to mates - birthday cards probably

Success! (Rebecca birthday, Sarah birthday, Clare get well card, Callie birthday, Alison birthday, clare birthday, Callie wedding, clare kt recipe card)

9. Research 9 hours of getting a cat (9 lives)

Decided a horse was enough so stopped researching 🤷‍♀️[ read complete guide to adopting a cat 3 hours]

10. Do ten full pull ups

Total yes, in a row like intended absolutely not. I can do like 2.5 in a row. Made haphazard progress, but now I have a pull up bar so hoping for better next year!

11. Buy 11 things off of my to buy eventually list

Success! This was easy and I did it! (air fryer, air mattress, nice soap dispensers, office mat, thermometer, fire extinguisher, white tank top, little plates, shower cleaner, plastic drain pipes, sheet pan organizer, bonus: back door light bulb, rainbow flag and holder, more bras)

12. Go on 12 dates

Success! I thought this would be really hard but then I just got my boyfriend by like February and it ended up being the easiest ny resolution ever. He even asked me out to start.

13. Run a half marathon 13.1 miles

Success! (Okay this was a gimme because I signed up for it and had a training plan in 2022 but still)

14. Hike a fourteener

Success! mt of the holy cross and it was terrifying and very long but we did it!

15. Read 30 (15x2) books

I read 27 and have three in various states of completion. I kind of wanted to power this one thru but it wouldn’t have been fun and then what’s the point. This one is hard because I abandoned so so many books this year. Like I made it at least one chapter into like 40 and a couple half way thru. So close but no cigar but I refuse to read things that aren’t fun just to hit a goal so I feel fine about it.

16. Host 8 things

Hosted 3, organized a couple others so partial credit. I would like to do better in the future. ( galentines, whimsy brunch, birthday, organized brunch at watercourse, organized lake day)

17. Go out dancing (must be more dancing than drinking, dance class counts.)(dancing queen only 17)

Nope. But also that’s fine.

18. Upgrade phone and deal with all photos. Upload belize to fb and save others. Data management

Mostly. I got an external storage for Christmas so I can finish when I get home. So solid partial credit. (uploaded some. Upgraded phone plus new battery, still need to get data off of it) [email protected] [email protected]

19. General contractor for house cracks plus install air conditioner

Success. Installed ac. Got the cracks looked at once and they were fine and then they got worse and now I’m getting foundation work done. So success I guess.

20. Get 20 layout ds

… I did not count. I def got some but probably not 20 so partial credit. (4 from leiout)

21. Go to frisbee Masters regionals

Success! Another bit of gimme but we went and qualified to nationals!)

22. Buy purple navel jewelry (I’m feeling 22)

Success! (And I love it)

23. volunteer for 23 hours

No and I feel bad about it. I need to find something to volunteer with. I feel like I should have the time/be able to make time but it also feels like I never have time and also never want to. But I think it’s important.

So overall full success on 11 of the goals, happy partial on 5, annoyed partial on 2, abandoned 4 and failed my last one and feel bad about it.

But overall pretty good success!

#New Years goals #23 things for 2023 #new years resolutions #recaps #I did my best #and it was fine #but also they didn’t really drive any behavior #well they did help me knit my one sock #and helped motivate the camping trips and hosting I did do #and that’s good #and the mailing letters #so overall it did help with some good things I wanted to more of #so pretty good success