#which I guess is better than twitter - which I don't think I've checked in a year

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/718540890786922496

The crucial difference, to me, is that fandom is for fun and guilting people into changing what they do for fun generally does not work.

I've been in a fandom situation like anon describes. In a book fandom some years ago there was a lot of discourse over the appearance and ethnicity of characters with very sparse book descriptions in fanart and the way racialized stereotypes feed into those choices. I agreed with a lot of the points - though not always how they were made; there was a lot of that early Tumblr "we're not obliged to be nice to our oppressors" rhetoric used as an excuse to harass people. I didn't receive such harassment myself, and I actually liked a lot of the POC-centric headcanons that some of the fans were promoting and adopted some of them for my own. I started making fanart where one or more of the characters were POC.

But ultimately l stopped making content for that fandom around that time. The feeling of scrutiny and having to self-censor and second-guess myself before choices as inconsequential - in the grand scheme of things - as how dark I make the skin of a fictional character I draw for my own fun and for an audience of like ten people - took the fun out of fandom. I don't have a lot of self-discipline, I can't just sit down and make things. If I make art, it's because I got a random bout of passion to create something in my head and I carried it through before the excitement ran out. Putting any brakes and checks and "but what will people think of this?" in there means the art never sees the light of day.

And maybe that was good for the POC artists in the fandom - one less white artist drawing two characters of unspecified ethnicity as white. I'm sure some people reading this would be like "good riddance". But if the goal is to drive away white artists so POC artists receive more attention, then that's a little harder to make sound appealing, isn't it? I mean, I wouldn't even take issue with it if that were the goal, fair's fair and all that. But then don't present it as "oh we just want our POC ships and characters to stop being snubbed!"

(In an ironic twist, the book has since received a visual adaptation with white leads and the substantial diversity that was previously found in fanart even pre-discourse disappeared basically overnight. Which just goes to show how silly it is to act like individual random-ass fanartists have much impact. )

...The other crucial difference is that online settings are inherently anonymized in a way a real-life engineering workplace or whatever isn't. Most people don't know the demographics and ethnicity of most other people they interact with, unless it specifically comes up. Even on places like Twitter this continues to hold true, and it drastically changes what it means when POC fans' content and opinions are ignored, and how to fix that. I don't have a point here except to say that a lot of this discussion seems to assume racist bias is targeted when it very much isn't, and act like "just stop being racist and ignoring fans of color on purpose, you dicks!" is a viable solution.

At the end of the day, the problem I see here is people with actual institutional power (in this case, people making design choices of big-budget media) need to make more and better POC characters, and then the fandom will follow - rather than expecting fans as an amorphous collective to pick up the slack where the mainstream dropped it. Those are the people you need to be putting pressure on. Funnily enough, the people I virtually never see accused of racism is the people who were actually in charge of the aforementioned visual adaptation...

--

[sirfrogsworth]

We might not know enough about guns to regulate them properly.

Some folks on the Left probably need to learn more about guns.

I've seen so many people pronounce loudly that banning the AR-15 is the single greatest thing we could do to stop mass shootings.

But I'm afraid it is much more complicated than that.

During the first assault weapons ban in the 90s, legislators had trouble defining the weapons they wanted to ban so they included details like no bayonet lugs or foldable stocks or pistol grips. I guess they were trying to find aspects that a lot of these weapons had in common in order to identify which guns to ban. But soon after, gun manufacturers just left these elements out of their designs and made essentially the same guns.

Despite some dubious statistics I've seen on Twitter about this 90s ban being amazingly effective, most experts found that the ban had little to no effect on firearm deaths or the lethality of gun crimes. People just used different guns that weren't banned.

Beyond that, the AR-15 is one model of gun from one manufacturer. There are tons of copycat designs from other brands. There are kits you can build yourself. You can even 3D print all of the non-metallic parts. Not to mention there are plenty of assault weapons that have similar characteristics. The AK-47 uses even more powerful ammunition.

And then there is this "ranch rifle."

It doesn't look like a scary Rambo gun, but it shoots the same bullets as the AR-15 and has large capacity magazines. It is functionally the same.

Would this be included in the ban? Or would our legislators think it is just a harmless varmint rifle used for shooting pests on the farm as the marketing suggests?

There is also the fact that most shootings take place at short distances where even small caliber handguns would be plenty lethal and effective for a mass shooting. Bigger rifles send the rounds out quicker and can penetrate better at longer distances, so the casualty count might be a little higher versus a handgun. But at the most common distances, I don't know if it would be a huge difference. Las Vegas might have been less deadly due to the shooter firing from a longer distance, but he could have also used much higher caliber hunting rifles, though with a slower rate of fire. If 20 people die instead of 60, that is certainly an improvement, but probably not the result people are hoping for with these bans.

I guess what I'm trying to say is there are so many options when it comes to firearms that I just don't know if gun bans are going to be the solution to this issue. I think focusing resources on identifying dangerous people and preventing them from getting weapons in the first place might be a better place to start. Mandatory training, gun licenses, liability insurance, and expensive background checks could all be used as barriers for a dangerous person to acquire a gun. We could also flag large ammo purchases.

Getting rid of one style of gun when there are hundreds of other flavors of gun that can do a similar amount of damage doesn't seem like it will do much in the grand scheme. Creating hoops for bad people to jump through so that hopefully they get snagged in one of them might work better.

If we were to do gun bans, I think it should be more like... every household is allowed one revolver for self defense and all other firearms must be secured at a gun club or shooting range.

But that feels like a pipe dream in this country.

The sad truth is the toothpaste may be out of the tube. We literally have more guns than people right now. How would we logistically confiscate millions of guns? Especially from people who might use those guns to try and prevent said confiscation.

Honestly, I'm not sure we can actually solve this problem. At best maybe we can make it slightly less bad.

[tekutiger]

There's something I've been wanting to post here for about a week now, but I've been putting it off, waiting for the Dawntrail Benchmark to release. (That can be found here btw: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/topics/detail/ffe3a1a5430a5a8168ca9782ab9ec0e57cd5be62)

On the official Square Enix forums (both English and Japanese), there is an entire thread for the Graphical Update Viera Noses. Our communities are not exactly thrilled with the changes, to say the least.

The (current) last page of the English thread can be found here: https://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/threads/493947-Graphical-Update-Viera-Nose/page19

The first page of the English thread can be found here: (or you can just go to the link above, scroll to the bottom and click "First") https://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/threads/493947-Graphical-Update-Viera-Nose

I tried checking here on Tumblr if this had been posted already but the FFXIV tags are spammed so much 🫠

The Japanese thread link is within the EN thread somewhere, I forget which page.

If you play a Viera, you've probably noticed that your beloved WoL doesn't quite look the same- specifically the nose, and to a lesser extent with their eyes.

That's all pointed out and discussed in the thread. And yes, I did voice my opinion to it 🙃

I'm trying to find some comparison screenies of my bunboi and fembun to contribute here.

The thing I was worried about, and still kind of am even after going through the benchmark- is the strange "shine" you see on bunboi's noses in certain areas, or at random times. I couldn't find any rhyme or reason to why or when this would happen 🤷🏻‍♀️

We were also shown a preview of bunboi's with their nose like 7 shades darker than their skin tone and that didn't sit well with me. Between that and the shine? No. Just no.

This is current graphics 👆🏻

Another thing I noticed in the benchmark is that they removed the colored eyelashes from Face 1 (the face I'm using on my bunboi). It's literally like, 1 of the 2 primary reasons I chose this face to begin with. (They usually match your hair color.)

Dawntrail Benchmarker 👆🏻

You can see some of this "so called shine" in some of these, but it's not as bad as I thought it'd be originally. I guess I can live with it and over time I'll probably get used to it.

I can probably even get over the fact that his white eyelashes are gone, though I'll miss them. I don't know... 😖

I do appreciate the updated quality of the hair, and the iris/eyes, and his facial feathers. I also like that the added "lip color" I gave him appears to be matte and not a gloss, but I'm not sure how other people will like that, lol.

ALSO. There's a very specific scene in the benchmarker that shows your WoL's face so much better but for some strange stupid reason you cannot take screenies during it. I feel like SE really let the ball slip there.

There's probably a reason for it, and then again there might not be- because if I really wanted to, there are loop holes and I could still get those screenshots if I had more time, Lol 😅

Current graphics 👆🏻

I don't have a plethora of screenshots of my fembun like I do of my bunboi- but looking at my fembun specifically I'm realizing her bunny nose doesn't seem that prominent, even now? I guess I thought it was defined more 🤔. Perhaps it's the lighting of this specific shot.

I was going through this phase of changing her hair color from red to yin yang colors, back to red, back to yin yang, rinse & repeat, so...

Dawntrail Benchmarker 👆🏻

Again, I appreciate the high quality in the iris/eyes, hair, facial features- like her tattoos.

It does seem like the highlights in her eyes get a little lost, if that makes sense? The anime type white reflection. Not just for her but for my bunboi too. I think that goes for all character now- I've seen this commented about all across Twitter (yeah I know it's called X, but I'll never call it X).

Her bunny nose seems to disappear in many scenes and then it "seems" to be there in some scenes. I don't know what to make of it.

I feel so wishy washy with this graphics update. There are parts I like and parts I dislike. At this point I'm wondering if it's that whole mentality of "People dislike change" / "People fear the unknown" and over time we'll get used to it.

But also, I've seen some comparisons of people's characters and the overall appearance, the overall vibe of their character has totally shifted. It's understandable they're upset.

I want to offer a couple of pieces of advice here. If you have any commentary to add about Vieras (or any other characters really- like moon kitties got royally shafted on their fangs)- please visit that thread and put your two cents in. Hopefully SE will see it and potentially listen to the community feedback. But in the case of Moon kitties, there's likely a respective thread for them so you'll have to seek out that thread.

The other thing is, take advantage of this benchmarker in tandem with our free fantasia (coming soon). I feel the character creation screen does not properly display what our characters are going to look like once ingame. Do not take the character creation screen at face value. Create and/or modify your character in the benchmarker (you can save your character data). Play it out- make sure you're happy with how they look in the benchmarker. Then go on and use that fantasia. You can load the saved data from the benchmarker into the real game. (unless they changed things, which I highly doubt)

Edit: Adding in some links to other threads ⤵️ (Its been mentioned by others that it's best to keep posts pooled in one thread vs. spread sporadically out across several threads. If SE or Mods are likely to read anything, it's going to be in one centralized large thread.)

Thread: [Dawntrail] Miqo'te face 4 Keeper nose smudge nerfed

Thread: Benchmark/Graphics Update - Lip shape concern and eyes

Thread: Keeper fangs nerfed in the update

#ffxiv #ff14 #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #ffxiv viera #ff14 viera #teku.blog #dawntrail benchmark

[waterparksdrama]

ok track by track review of Intellectual Property. GO!

as you wish anon. be warned this is literally like one of maybe 4 times i've listened to this album in full again

st*rfucker - a bit too saccharine on first listen but it has better replay value as time goes on. the beginning of the shoehorned jesus lyrics and the continuation of limo imagery to represent fame which is actually fitting admittedly bc just like a limo that is supposed to represent glamour and celebrity living, they are just as widespread and accessible as him and aren't really that glamorous at all. also this is me saying again wow he complains a lot about fame for someone who isn't really that famous. i still hate the cutoff at the end bc. cmon man. 7/10

real super dark - ok i did like the gilbert gottfried inspired melody i think that's fun actually. the song lyrics? uhhhhhh. just more complaining. if you have listened to any of the albums since fandom you are not missing much there other than the otto serial killer jokes he has inserted here? which is a choice i guess. instrumental is great tho. i feel incredibly stupid listening to a lot of the other parts of the song tho. 7/10

funeral grey - god i can't bear listening to this one on my own i'm sorry. live it's fine, but the studio recording i would rather kill myself than listen to again. IT'S SO ANNOYING. the terrible overenunciated vocals. awsten's attempt at humor by writing these wattpad fic lyrics that make me cringe to my core because i know there's a part of him being genuine. the one direction ripoff hook because he managed to get one of 1d's actual songwriters to help write the track. the only saving grace is the ending but at that point it's too late for any redemption. 2/10

brainwashed - ironically this was written with the 1d guy again and. i'm actually fine with this one LOL. it's simple and lowkey so it's considerably less annoying than funeral grey. considering awsten said the lyrics on this album were hypersexual, but it's 2023 so this is fairly tame, it just makes me wonder how much he has repressed in his psyche. 6/10

2 best friends - ok now we're back to simple annoying. if you tune out the lyrics enough, it sounds like disney channel filler music. but it's actually about ~~sExxxx~~ hahahahaha everything about this album so far is like reading fanfics clearly written by middle schoolers. awsten's sad about his situationship so he goes out with his 2 best friends to forget but it doesn't work :( but he could just fuck his friends bc it wouldn't hurt to try at this point. hey what if this was what the song was actually about that because in travis' insane songfic he made jawn and awsten hook up during this chapter #neverforget #riptravisficeventhoughmebitchingontumblrmadehimkillit 4/10

end of the water (feel) - hearing awsten try to hit those high notes reminded me of people saying brendon straining on his high notes on the last panic tour was like hearing a dog that needed to be shot out back for its own good. this is very obviously a charlie puth ripoff to the t because not only does he hit high notes that no man should ever reach, but i'm pretty sure the verse instrumentals rip off "light switch" by charlie. anyways more of "ughhhhh i'm not getting a text backkkkkk" that makes me want to throw awsten's phone into the pacific. i still don't know why kurtis conner is here and how this is supposed to relate to any of this at all. also actually now that i'm crossing checking the genius pages for these, the descriptions for these songs make them sound much better than they actually are lol. 3/10

self-sabotage - this one is mid on it's own but funny because i remember the amount of twitter discourse this song has spawned. "awsten's being toxic and misogynistic" did we not listen to some of the songs off fandom "awsten has bpd" what if he just sucks sometimes. the memories of this are more memorable than the song itself. 5/10

ritual - remember when i found out the soundbyte at the beginning was from an aids psa. good times. fine song other than the shoehorned soundbyte. the entire song is just a repetition of the verses and chorus like a ~~ritual~~ spooky! i like the flair vincente void adds with his screams i feel like this feature makes more sense because it's a song about protecting yourself from the doctrines of religion that harmed you when you were growing up and apparently vincente has known awsten since he was 13???? only thing i hate is the corpse ripoff ending so much so that i have a personal version where i edited that out. 8/10

fuck about it - BORINGGGGGG OH MY GODD. if you've heard one blackbear feature, congrats you've heard them all because they all sound the same and blackbear adds no energy whatsoever. he made a bayside instrumental sound boring you really can't underestimate him. anyways back to the song itself; the situationship has dissolved into pure sex and disinterest and annoyance outside of that and with the way awsten sounds like he plans having hate sex, i don't think he's ever had hate sex before. there's the ending synth i think is fun and that's the only reason this gets a point at all. 1/10

closer - it's a sweet song but um. haven't we heard this in a way before? *cough cough 21 questions* i think this is the closest (lol) parx comes to at a return to pre-fandom form, but when i listen to the chords too much i'm just like "did he lowkey rip off that one smashing pumpkins song". anyways it's just about needing to be closer to someone or ending the relationship completely. simple but effective but not nearly as effective as 21 questions for me sorry. 7/10

a night out on earth - ok i had physical tickets to the last tour bc i won them on idobi so i was like "THIS SONG BETTER BE AT LEAST DECENT BC I STILL HANG UP THE TICKET WITH THIS NAME" and it was at the least. it's like. a good waterparks song, but i feel like i've heard it already? my mind goes back to see you in the future but for these i can't tell who's ripping off who more lol. yeah i feel like other than some interesting production here and there it's a rehash of shit we already heard before. shoehorned religious lyric. fake ass band guys. "i turn my agony into songs and people only like when i'm hurt". "i've been dead since 2016" (part two). "i'm evil now. idgaf. wat ever."

and then i think the part that makes me go awwww but also confuses me is the im a natural blue radio interview snippet? like why does this all tie in together now. geoff's not even here bro how is this the only release where otto's the only one namedropped when awsten hasn't even named dropped him until last album. 80% the album is about some random relationship how is this supposed to tie into all of these.

idk i feel like i've just had this on my mind when when of my mutuals made their own analysis on awsten's mindsets towards life and said how he uses fear as motivation but his perfectionism keeps him from using failure as an editor and how this song was the peak example of this; the rehash of the same ideas over and over because despite his stubbornness, despite "ultimately -not- giving in to the perception that you’re worth ‘Demonizing'", he never confronts the problem for real, just compartmentalizes the problem away and doesn't truly overcome the root of his problems. that's what i feel like manifests in this album for me to be put off by it at its core. nothing ever changes, he just finds a new situation to complain at. maybe that's also why his fans never change even as new ones come though. maybe that's why we also stay stagnant in this with him.

again i get it, he's a public figure; if he did dive too deep into this and didn't choose to generalize the lyrics for his own sake, he would probably end up incriminating himself way too much and have a hard time performing some of these songs. but i can't help but wonder. if he's truly getting over a mental obstacle like that, or keeps himself so set on the future that he ignores the problems he never solved. like he always does. like he always seems to be doomed to. anyways, 7/10 song.

all in all, it's an album that tries to reach a concept of coming to terms with your sexuality and religious trauma all entwined in fame but in reality it's mostly just about a sucky situationship and awsten complaining again while putting in random religious references sometimes and the beginning and ending are about fame. my hot takes are: tennis imagery = gay sex, there's not enough of a distinction between "soulsucker" and awsten to make "album lore" when the overarching concept of parx's discography is "awsten's life sucks", and darth vader is luke's father. - iz

#i hope you liked this one anon and i hope it explains or relates to any other longtime fan's thoughts on the album #track by track

[sextonsharpwinhalstead]

Yeah, I was trying to say without saying and being more long-winded than I already was. That there are a lot of men in the Med writer's room. And that was the quickest thing they could do without completely damaging her character. But it was just enough that it would tack on to everything else they already had planned and I refuse to believe the writers and showrunners don't understand how negative storylines will also get a character trashed especially black and other nonblack poc characters. Because there's no way they thought their writing in 5 made sense. From her and Choi openly flirting in the ED for the first time in what 3 seasons. Then her random crush on Marcel, the kiss. Then her not exactly apologizing for it and being sort of callous when she's still working with CM and Ethans offended. And lord Ethan crying to Ms. Goodwin yeah that will really get to the fans, especially the anti-Chexton fans who want to make it clear they're not anti-the actress they're just so ToXiC. While forgetting that Halstead was a total asshat to Natalie in the beginning and they fought and broke up for dumb sxxt too. And all the people still crying over Ava and Rhodes all these years later as if it isn't weird that all Ava did was basically neg Connor and Robin in the beginning. How is that not toxic? And if April is a B like everyone claims then Choi needs to were an asshole hat too.

I search the tags when I can't sleep and the number of fans losing their shit here and on Twitter when April probably has been on the screen for longer than 30 minutes in the 2 episodes we've actually seen her face is insane. Many of them are mad because their fave isn't back, so that's one aspect. The others are laughing because her show was canceled and basically doing everything but calling her u---ty for daring to leave. And swearing that she's only back because of that when there is evidence to the contrary. We can't hold our breath but if the spoilers I've seen aren't OC trolling us with pictures from scrapped storylines, then these haters better prepare to be sick of me. Because I won't rest if Chexton gets the happy ending Brian wanted in 2020.

There are always too many men. That's it that's the thought lol. The way they play in our face like we don't notice is wild.

The more I thougut about it the more I think that they added Marcel because they remembered that April started the show with a fling with Kelly. Which meant that she was capable of that kind of fun hookup. The problem is they didn't do ANYTHING to further that in six seasons. Neither before or after Ethan. And they are capable of it because we've watched Will and Connor bone their way through Chicago. Like a common problem with One Chicago is they forget to write anyone who isn't white a love interest/personal lives. They forget that many fans find them desirable.

Back when they introduced the Marcel/April story and everyone was crying and whining in my f*cking inbox about poor Ethan I wanted to make a meme of Vicki sipping tea because ETHAN CHEATED ON HER WITH APRIL and NEVER came clean. It was just kiss for both of them but you'd think that April murdered his sister the way people act. Or that Ethan wasn't capable of the same. I guess because it was in service to Chexton no one cared. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I truly believe Chexton is going to get a hopeful ending. Yaya is on her way to joining the cast of The Lincoln Lawyer, it's Netflix which is about as bad as Fox so I hope it works out but I think Yaya was interested in giving her character the closure she deserved and Ethan too. I just like knowing April finished her program and works independently. Now she gets love too and folks can die mad about it.

You don't have to like Chexton but folks might wanna check why they are so bitter seeing these two characters happy in a farewell, KNOWING Ethan has grown is... telling.

And yes it's wild that ppl still bitch about Ava and Rhodes and Manst*ad. Those ships were toxic AF. You have to be an Ava apologist to pretend you didn't see how batshit she was the ENTIRE time, people are like "you ruined her" and I'm like, "Are yall okay?!" Natalie was snotty AF to Will and Will was misogynistic AF to Natalie. Everyone hated her and only cared about her in that ship. Mess.

#chicago med #april sexton #ethan choi #ask sextonsharpwinhalstead

[mdhwrites]

I heard Dana gave toh fans the freedom to consider their headcanons canon, or smth like that. There's probably more info on twitter but I don't use the app. What do you think?

So what I've heard is that it's not entirely this. It is just saying that whatever Dana says outside of the show, like in livestreams, panels, etc. don't count as canon. The only things that are explicitly canon is that which is in the show. Otherwise, everything else is her personal headcanons which are just as valid as any fans'. I was introduced to this a few days ago by someone sharing it with me (this was apparently said in a livestream btw so will almost certainly get lost to time) a tweet with me about someone being happy about their fan children being 'canon' It was cute and I didn't check what the ships were. I mostly responded to that person being happy that they could headcanon Lumischa as having eventually happened because that was more fun for me especially with my hands being bad. Besides, I think the statement is dumb on multiple levels that I'll get to eventually. Reading this question, I spent more than a single second thinking about it and went "Wait, but Amity is only a lesbian because Dana says so. This is absolutely going to make 70% of the fandom choose to make her bi because then they can ship her with whoever they want." AND GUESS WHAT SHIP THE TWEET WAS ABOUT!? FUCKING AMITER! It has always been a problem for the show that Amity's sexuality is not stated in it. It creates a similar excuse to what people who have to defend stuff like SasuNaru (my introduction to shipping through my older sister btw) of "They don't have a canon sexuality." Well... No longer does Amity. We do know she's interested in girls but that doesn't mean she isn't pan or bi.

I personally do not agree with this interpretation. For me, changing characters who appear to commonly be straight to gay is fine... Because there's close to zero gay characters in most genres, let alone mainstream popular shows. How many are in Shounen anime in general? Okay now remove the villains who are queer coded and tell me again. If the LGBTQIA+ (which I want to remind you I'm not a part of so I don't benefit from this interpretation) want to tell their stories within the media they like, they HAVE to change sexualities. They have no other choice. Meanwhile, Amity is not a particularly special archtype so if you're a straight dude wanting to ship her with yourself, you can find that elsewhere. Even within the same show, just use Lilith who in S1 was similar to Amity. Though yes, Lilith is technically aro/ace but only by decree from Dana and the show never actually sways one way or another on her feelings on relationships because... Why the fuck would it? It's a comedy adventure. Which brings us to the complicated question of what is right to include in a story or not (which I could go into a LOT more in a different blog). It's not like everyone is constantly stating their sexualities in real life after all. It's a rough place for a lot of creators, just like saying if a character is nuerodivergent. A lot of stories just don't have a place for that sort of exposition and honestly the author letting us know outside of the work IS useful for that. Would it be better if it were stated in the show? In TOH's case, because of how much it stakes its reputation on representation, YES. For most? Not really but most don't court the romance genre, where saying those sexualities is more reasonable, like TOH does.

So that's one reason why I don't like the statement. Dana sticking to her guns on her ideas is one of the few saving graces I could give her and just saying "Fuck it, you all decide what you want to be canon so long as it isn't in the show" is just... not that. Not unless she was going to go whole hog and say that the IP was in the public domain so LITERALLY MAKE THE CANON YOU WANT! Which would have been novel but is also NEVER going to happen. Instead, her statement amounts to "I officially give you permission to make fanworks." Which... Lady, you don't get to decide that. No creative does. If people want to make work off of your story, they're gonna do that regardless of what you say. The creator of Calvin and Hobbes is FAMOUS for how anti-commercial he was of his work and spent much of his career making sure that his strips, panels, characters etc. didn't appear on t-shirts. And he still failed mostly because stopping EVERY avenue was simply impossible.

Also Dana has not really put much authoritatively on the scales besides the sexualities, making the statement even more pointless. If she's dropped giant lore dumps, I haven't heard about them and I've been in this fandom long enough that I feel like I should have heard about them. Instead we got small things like Amity dying her hair because her mom forced her to. That isn't going to break anyone's story and I even personally used it as a bonding moment between the two because I made Odalia neurotic about stuff like that.

So I guess my big question is... Who cares? Unless you actively don't like the few answers we've been given by the crew. And if that's the case... That's what fanworks are for. For when you don't like canon and want to change it. You don't need permission for that. You never have. =========

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[mac-rat-art]

Not to be salty about the poll results, but what's your target audience whenever you reblog the post, though, like genuinely? Those who already follow you? Because regardless of whether or not folks are actively searching for new artists to commission, reblogs don't show up in site-wide search results, sadly.

Plus, anyone who visits your blog will very likely end up seeing your already-pinned commission post, and thus probably won't need to be consistently reminded that you're open unless stated otherwise.

I find constant reminders genuinely annoying (might actually jump ship due to the increased frequency tbh), and blacklisting won't stop tumblr from showing dashboard [1] notifications, nor does it actually "erase" entire posts. Instead, it just hides their contents behind a slightly-smaller "this post contains filtered tags [#commission reminder tag] [View post]" wall, which isn't a whole lot better.

Please reconsider.

(completely separately, I wish you good luck with getting your surgery funded, whatever ends up happening ^w^)

All of these are very good points! Some artists I follow do weekly commission posts, and I do consider it a sort of 'reminder' that I am taking them. Like an advertisement I guess? I've only gotten three since I started (and those were from Twitter), and I know there are several factors like people just not being interested, not having money, etc. And some of it is...people just not seeing posts I think? I have over 100 followers, and the vast majority of my posts get around 10 notes (which I am thankful for, don't get me wrong!). I don't let the numbers game get to my head, I make art primarily for me, it's just you do like to know people like the stuff you make, you know? That tangent aside, I definitely don't and won't hold any ill-will to people who unfollow. I think that's silly to be mad at!! I unfollow people a lot! So if anyone wants too, they're more than free to. I hardly check the number anyway lmao I didn't know that's how Tumblr itself did blocked tags like that (I use TumblrSaviour still) and while XKit has a post-blocker, that's a lot of work to just use for one thing.

So I definitely will be thinking on it! I might just start doing it once a month on the first, so it won't be too annoying, and I can still get the 'I'm putting myself out there' feeling

Thanks so much for reaching out! Feedback on things is definitely appreciated! And if you want to unfollow still, I wish you well, and I enjoyed having you! (and thanks so much!! :3 I'll be calling doctors tomorrow and I'm nervous and excited!)

#ask #that's the whole reason I put the poll out - for people's opinions!! #honestly I was a little unsure about upping the frequency anyway since it was a near even split but #and apologies for the rambling ahsgfka I just have a lot of thoughts and I try to be concise

[ohsilverplease]

to do/updates/journal entry

This week marks a year at my job, and although no one at work acknowledged it I have been reconnecting with some people on LinkedIn; mostly other people who also left OldCompany and are thriving. I am still struggling a lot with the job, mostly with the inanity of some of the decision-making and the fact that I don't have enough to do, but I am really glad that I moved and branched out. And now that I'm past the year mark I will not feel (as) bad about starting to explore my options.

C and I went canoeing on Sunday, and although there were a couple tense moments where he forgot/I didn't communicate that my body moves very differently from his, it was a really pleasant trip. My right arm in particular was so sore afterwards that I thought I had nerve damage; I think the muscle must have just been tightening around the nerve or something? It's better now but it did reinforce the idea that I need to be doing some weight training.

This afternoon the HVAC man is coming to check out my vents, which I think may have mold. (I mean, I know there is mold in the bedroom vent but I'm hoping it isn't all the way through the system.) It's actually the same guy that installed the system 9 years ago, and I was a reference for him for several years so I'm hoping he'll cut me a break on whatever maintenance he actually has to do. But it's just part of being a homeowner I guess. Plus it's forced a quick clean-up of the house, which is always a good thing.

Then tonight I am going to see my mom, who I haven't seen since she went into the hospital (she was only in for a couple nights). I will work from my parents' house tomorrow, but I'm mostly there because my dad has to work and mom can't take the dog out in her condition, and they don't have a fenced in yard. It will be nice to spend a couple days at home again, and I think we'll try to plan our Cornwall trip and start booking everything because I need to use my flight credit from 2020 ASAP.

I've been really trying to not buy so much stuff, especially clothes, and it's going pretty well. I did just get another pair of leggings, and two pairs of tights, because I live in those in fall and winter. In a couple weeks I'm going to a plus-size clothing swap and I hope to mostly get rid of stuff rather than actually swap. My two goals right now:

Only have one bin of out-of-season clothes (instead of the three I have right now). Swim stuff doesn't count because it's in an under-bed bag that doesn't take up any space.

2) Everything I wear to work/fun/out goes in the closet. Jeans and sweaters can stay in the drawers, but otherwise the dresser is for workout clothes, lounge wear, pjs. And I also have a dresser for underthings (including camis, which I wear daily) and cosmetics/grooming stuff.

I ate some pan dulce from the Mexican bakery for breakfast, and I had a linkedin learning training video on for a couple hours this morning because if I can't motivate myself to WORK-work I can at least listen to something productive. I do have a thing to work on from home tomorrow as well. Today I am going to finish our newsletter (except for the chair's section), do a load of laundry, and run the dishwasher before I leave.

There was a good twitter thread on bad/mediocre movies with great soundtracks, and someone brought up About A Boy, which I thought was a fine movie (I think most movies are fine) but definitely a great soundtrack so I am listening to Badly Drawn Boy this afternoon.

That's it!

ETA:

The hvac system is fine, just needs a tune-up after 9 years (and probably every year) and I need to wipe off the registers. I am going to start saving up to finish encapsulating the crawl space next year.

I thought of a way to have more clothes and also more room: take a handful of things to my parents' house so I have basics there whenever I visit. I had done this a while back and I wear those leggings and/or sweater literally every time I am home so this is a Good Plan.

#this is one of those should-be-a-diary posts #life maintenance

[kurokrisps]

My Hero Academia is the far or alternate future of X-Men

My personal theory

Short disclaimer: I'd like to state this theory might have a lot of holes seeing as I'm more a follower of the films and what I've researched online than being an avid comic reader (I just don't know where to start with them but I'll get on some soon). Also I've never made a theory post before so this'll be kinda sloppy.

---

Horikoshi

Horikoshi is known to be a Marvel fan. It's present in some of his characters' design motifs and their names. Quirks aren't just "superpowers" they usually have a scientific explanation (fake or no, its scientific) for mutations that vary in genetics or mental abilities (Ex: Ashido isnt just pink for funsies her skin is like that as a result of her body mutating to adjust to the toxins she releases). Much like how powers work in X-Men. Bringing me to the next theory.

The beginning of Quirks and metahuman society

It's established that this has gone on for maybe hundreds or so years. The theory is that it likely started somewhere in the 2010s and the era we see atm is in the 4th generation, somehere in 2300. (That's a hole considering X-Men has established mutations were likely before even the force was established and so on but hear me out).

I think back to the movie X-Men (2000), when there was a cure being given out for mutants to rid them of their mutations. There was a whole line of otherwise regular looking people, some homeless and some not, probably with nonvisible mutations. Indicating mutant population is more prevalent in society than we thought.

Discrimination in Metahumans and human society

Discrimination is present everywhere - yes, even amongst the metahuman. Quirkless discrimination and human discrimination is a common theme in both the X-Men and MHA franchise. But I feel a lot of people overlook that as long as your deemed "less powerful", people will pick on you either way.

In X-Men there are Mutant Supremacists, mutants that think some mutants are better than others and despise humans completely. Back to the point with the X-Men movies, more specifically X-Men: First Class. I don't have enough evidence to put Magneto up here but I do have the example of Astrid Bloom and likely Sebastian Shaw (I mean, he was a N*zi so...)

Even in a world where the parties both "peacefully" coexist, there's bound to be infighting on who's the most powerful. AFO or ReDestro might be the closest example to a Quirk or Mutant Supremacist; seeing certain people below them and wanting a society in which the ones with absolute power rule and those that crush the weak determines your status. Bakugou is a tamer version of this, personal or current growth aside, he was very adamant on establishing he was the best back in junior high and the only person he looked to surpass was All Might, who he considered not just super cool but super powerful.

Selling a Hero IRL

Ok hold out for me here cus this is half of where my theory began to grow.

(Art credit to Keiid Aka Mya on Twitter)

Check the poster in Shinsou's room. That isn't just some cool girl the artist made for his room, Karma is an actual character in Marvel canon (this is probably obvious for y'all who actually read comics 😅). But you might be thinking, "Ok cool but that's just crossover fanart ain't it?" Yes but actually no.

It's shown in a translation that Sero is a fan of an American Hero. It's Spider-Man, let's not beat around the bush, his tape power is influenced from his webslinging abilities as well. Some might think the heroes of the Marvel universe are fiction in their universe and maybe so, but I can counter this.

In the beginning of the manga, Volume 1 Chapter 1, silhouettes are shown of mostly Marvel heroes, one of them being Wolverine from... oh take a guess! The lines on the panel was also "fiction became reality."

In Logan, Laura points out that "Wolverine" had saved many people in the comics, that she has possession of. He tells her that some of that was real but a lot was also overexaggerated for media. Meaning while they and their adventures were real, their images were also used as a source of entertainment for nonmutants. It's the same as celebrities appearing on TV and in commercials with their signature looks. They're a brand. Heroes in MHA do the same, with merchandising and otherwise. At least those non-underground.

Conclusion

I don't really know how to make a conclusion, since these are all a bunch of my half-baked theories stitched together. Like I said, comics probably counter this a ton. But it's not like I don't read comics at ALL, at this point with how much I've come across, some comics nowadays have proven to be officialized fanfiction. Anything goes as long as you can write or don't try to contradict the old rules I guess.

Plus there are so many universes for futures I can't even count on my fingers, so My Hero might as well be one of them.

#mha #my hero academia #mha theory #my hero academia theory #xmen #x men #marvel theories #marvel comics #manga #anime #not art #kuro talks

[dream-critical]

My point wasn’t that racism can be dismissed because it’s normalized. My point was that framing Dream as an outlier is disingenuous because, if you dig into every ccs life and career and past the same way we seem to do with Dream, you’re bound to find ugly shit, especially if they’ve been on the Internet for a long time. InTheLittleWood was recently called out for a bunch of racist and misogynistic tweets from ten years ago. He apologized by saying yes that way of thinking was normalized but it wasn’t right and he’s sorry. Markiplier, a guy who no one would call violently bigoted nowadays, made a kkk edit 7 years ago! Quackity, again, not someone anyone would call violently racist now, has made more racist jokes than I can list and has those videos from like 7 years ago still on his channel! He did apologize, by saying “the Internet was different back then, but that didn’t make it okay.” And everyone moved on. Dream has said the exact same thing “I grew up thinking x was okay yada yada but it isn’t and it hurt people and I’m sorry.” But no one but Dream is held to a standard of having to “make up for it.” Do I think he should? If I did, I’d have to hold that standard to every cc and expecting that is just setting myself up for disappointment. I’m not going to monitor every white cc who’s done something racist and apologized for it to check if they’re being an activist on twitter or donating to causes that help poc.

Ok so let me explain this in an easier way since it seems that every other time we've talked about this wasn't enough for y'all to understand.

The difference between dream and these people isn't that dream is held to an impossible standard.

It's that dream 1) lashes out instead of owning up to it and 2) never fucking properly apologized and 3) half the shit he did happened at the beginning of his career+ he said fucked up shit about Muslims last Ramadan (which was three months ago) to seem woke and guess what!!!! That's way more recent than any of the other things you've mentioned!!!

Also we've mentioned that we think that quackity should do better as well. He should just delete the videos to show he's changed.

Neither of us are inthelittlewoods viewers or fans so why the fuck would we talk about that. I don't know the guy and I've only mentioned him once on this blog and that was when I was talking about misogyny.

So idk maybe go fuck yourself anon. We've explained our opinion on this multiple times. I've written detailed explanations.

If you're soooo protective of your favourite racist white boy maybe go to literary any stan account instead

#mercury.txt #asks #anonymous

[eclaisse]

2024 Week 5

I need to get better about writing these blog posts on a timely basis. Originally I was using Twitter for every thought that popped into my head and posting it immediately, but I got tired and embarrassed by that very quickly.

I have multiple Twitter accounts and have been using the platform since 2016 I think. My main Twitter has a lovely selection of posts— art from my favorite artists, cute foods, different sciences, psychology, astrology, and funny memes. Then there's one I made as a VTuber and one I made for art after the last account was hacked. I don't check the VTuber one anymore because it's full of VTuber drama or overtly sexual humor. I understand that's part of the appeal of VTubers, but the jokes are so corny and make me cringe quite a bit. It makes me feel like I'm back in high school with a bunch of obnoxious students yelling dumb jokes as the teacher is trying to speak. Very specific, I know, but I think we've all experienced something like that.

The art Twitter isn't any better since I follow some VTuber mutuals on there. The people I follow are fine, but on the timeline I still see dumb posts with people either stirring up drama, spreading misinformation, or being overly dramatic about simple things. The memes on there are also super outdated— like stuff I saw back when I was still on Tumblr is making rounds again and people are eating it up. It's just become very off-putting to be there. I did have a lot of fun posting daily as a challenge though. It was a good exercise in research to see what kinds of posts were doing well. And I do like the mutuals I made through streaming, they are all very sweet people. I want to stay connected with them if possible.

I've been brainstorming other ways to pursue "content creation" (I hate that phrase). I just want to share my work with others and bond with them over it. I don't desire to be famous or have a community, I just want to have fun with my hobbies and interact with people.

Maybe it's better if I make a text document and update that like a Twitter every day for the week, and then compile them all into a post on Saturday or something like that. I will think about how to continue the consistency. This is probably the clunkiest post I've made because the sentences are so abrupt and short. But right now I just want to get my thoughts across.

Nothing super interesting happened this week I guess. I found a new dentist and set up an appointment with them, which is early tomorrow morning. I need to schedule a checkup next, but maybe I will wait a bit for that. I want to get a blood panel done this year and see how I'm doing. Work was dull this week because I barely had anything to do— and then suddenly I had to repeat one task three times, which was annoying but no one's fault.

It's been storming a lot so I made a tasty soup today. I used the chicken stock I made and froze a few months back, and added wood ear mushrooms, shimeji mushrooms, baby bok choy, green onions, soy sauce, sesame oil, and noodles. The broth tasted especially good after the ingredients simmered in it for a while. I want to try making it again. I want to make a heartier one though since this was a very light vegetarian soup.

The storm was making me feel anxious though, the tree outside was waving its branches wildly and bending to the winds. the wind and water hitting against the outside surfaces of the house was also a bit eerie to hear. My fear is that the roof will crumble and place will flood, though I think the place is a lot more structurally sound than that. I have enough food and a giant flashlight if I do lose power (many of my friends already did today) so I will just try to be careful.

#zari writes #2024 #feb 2024 #february 2024

[remruts-devlog]

I haven't been able to work on creative stuff lately. Posting on twitter doesn't feel right, but wanted an outlet for these thoughts, so here I am. Hello tumblr.

I went to a gamedev expo last weekend and felt out of place being a member of the general public. I didn't want to be the one checking out games, but instead part of the ones exhibiting them. It was incredibly crowded for an event like that, though I didn't talk to anyone. It was kind of lonely. I've been feeling lonely.

Now I think that this loneliness may just be that I'm not doing this. Making stuff. I've been doing some other things, like taking cooking classes or exercising. Mostly working, though. I don't think these things are bad, but it feels kinda directionless. When I think about what I'm doing this for I come up with "to feel better" or "personal growth", which is alright I guess but it lacks identity. Like I'm doing all this is for someone else, not me.

But then tying your whole personality to the things you make may be even lonelier. More so if what you make isn't that impressive.

I've always thought of making games as a hobby and I don't want it to be anything more than that. I certainly wouldn't want it to be my job. But I can't help but wonder how things would be if I took things more seriously.

I'm kinda stuck.

[alottamoney]

All speculation here, of course, but that's the name of the game. But the aftermath of the stroll really makes me think that if this this was planned (and personally I think so) this was more Jennie than Tae. Jennie is out here living life -- from sound check to Cannes after party she is happy and smiling. Good for you, girl. Who knows, maybe the timing had to do with the dumpster fire of a tv show she's participating in. Maybe they are getting engaged before he enlists. Whatever the reason...Tae looks beautiful (as usual) but a bit withdrawn when you consider how much he love fashion, Paris and beautiful fashion people in Paris.

Not saying that has anything to do with the validity or wellbeing of their relationship. They are coming to this from different perspectives. As you said, Jennie has more experience in dating scandals. Also there is a clear difference between the acceptable sensuality of boy vs girl idols. Jennie is allowed or even expected to be sexy. The BTS boys still have the company covering their chest with little cartoon stickers.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out because it seems to put Tae outside of his comfort zone. As much as Tae get's painted as a "rebel" (and he has definitely had his IDGAF moments), he also really likes the BTS bubble and fan attention. So now, he may feel he has to reevaluate a new set for norms for himself, like how and when he feels he can reference JK.

I don't know -- just throwing out some random thoughts for conversation.

That's a valid point. I've thought about it too. I didn't want to stress on it because people have a tendency of veering off into misogyny territory. Yeah, this is clearly a safe relationship for her too. For people outside army twitter Jennie is the main character in this. The discussions are always in the line of "Jennie is better off dating the pretty one from BTS and not GDragon" or "I wonder which A list celeb she'll bag next" and the variations lol. People are not gonna like what I say, but Tae, his name nor him as a unique person/celeb is something that factors in a lot in this relationship. And people on this side are thinking long term- engagements and marriage etc-not saying you're wrong for it, the contrast is just funny.

This is the first time I'm seeing the adage about expression of sexuality being switched between the genders lol. I will also say, this time is unique for her too, because Dispatch never released any scandalous photos/videos for the last two dating reveals. As in, nothing people would believe if the companies hadn't confirmed. There was never a threat of hackers and seemingly a supportive company, that released cute anecdotes about those relationships but yeah, I guess you could say she's more experienced. As for Tae, idk, I think Taennies and Taekookers are expecting too much from a man who looks like he hasn't stopped internally screaming this past week.

[sameore]

Being "popular" as an artist..?

As I was perplexed about this fact, someone explained me that the reason why my art hasn't work as much as other artists is probably because I don't make "classic things par excellence" and I might have a "different sensitivity", and "interest" in things... Uhm, maybe? I guess just going "mainstream" might easily bore me unfortunately...

Alongside, a psychologist I've chatted with some time ago thinks it might go more with the visibility in social media, and the fact algorithms might not always aim for the right people.

She warned: "Do NOT trust social media with this!", "It can really damage your self-esteem!"

(And well, when I check the statistics on Twitter, to assess the visibility I have: which means barely any despite the hashtags sometimes, I get to think it clearly also depends on the goodwill of the algorithms)

Perhaps, the truth might be a mix of both...

These two explainations, put altogether, make me think I should just go on with my stuff in my little corner anyway. Probably better than drawing things to be "popular" and finding my works boring... so basically, having people being interested in what I do for things they expect me to do.

More concretely, I've already experienced this for a very few (mainstream) fanworks (that I drew, it was interesting... but not as thrilling tbh) receiving a massive quantity of likes... but tbh, the enthusiasm I got from this was clearly not as thrilling as the 3-4 likes I got from that one work I genuinely made with my heart! Less popular, but way more effective!

So, being popular to be popular, err...

That's truly not the point of my activity as an artist.

I want to have fun, and if not being popular (which would be pointless without this fun), at least finding a few people who might enjoy the same things as me?

It somewhat reminded me of this sketch I made back in 2020, for Inktober. Probably a reflection of my own insecurities back in the days...

#artist on tumblr #random #personal vent #inktober 2020

[sonlagrasrees]

FUCK FUCK FUCK

You know in life when you gotta actually do things? Like, DO do things. You know, plan for college and what you wanna do after that.

I've been meaning to write this stuff for some nights now because I will be terribly FUCKED UP if I don't figure myself out soon.

A friend has been bugging me about her college plans and I envy her for that because why does she have to get it all figured out right away WHILE I'm still here married to my phone, rotting on my bed. Slacking all summer isn't really the best thing to do for a teenager like me, I guess. Maybe I should have worked out, perhaps tried to develop my body so I'd be more muscular or whatever. Or maybe I should have reviewed for incoming college entrance exams and looked for options. I DON'T KNOW, SOMETHING ACTUALLY PRODUCTIVE. That bullshit "you don't have to be productive---" Facebook quotes really fucked my soul. I don't know man, I guess I let everything slip because I'm too stubborn to plan for my future. Why? Because the future terrifies me. Anyway, I think I'm just angry at everything right now because I really have no idea what I want. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!!!!! It's ironic actually because I hate my current situation. I hate living in this town, in this house, with these people. I NEED to get away from them. I need to pass the UPCAT (I heard there's a high possibility of UP conducting entrance exams again this year) because I desperately want to be AWAY.

Oh my god, okay, I think I just canceled whatever I said in the first sentences of this essay. I know what I want! I want to leave this place. I want to study at UP. I know, I know. It's ambitious. I mean for someone who barely remembers his science lessons and is horrible with numbers, my chances of flunking the CETs are as big as the sun. So maybe I should check some materials online. Maybe I should stop being so lazy and stubborn and get my shit together or I'll end up being a random, weird, and creepy dude who spends his day on his bed scrolling and saying shitty stuff on Twitter.

So the goal is to get to UP. That's not so hard, I just have to review the basic foundations of science, math, and grammar. SHIT.

Now the scenario still looks bleak because I don't know what college degree I should take, given that I don't have a thing. You know, A THING. Some people are really good at debating, some are terrific writers and readers, and some have really good hands in drawing, painting, and all that artsy stuff. Me? A jack of all trades is a master of none. I swear my English teacher once uttered that in one of her classes but I don't have the energy to search which dead poet said that or whoever she told us said that quote. It's also an incomplete quote that I'm sure I'm using outside its supposed context. My point is that I'm not so confident with my writing skills or art styles. I don't think pursuing a passion that is based on them is worth the risk. Discovering what you like is really difficult since the risk of that shit not liking you back is a deal-breaker. But I guess I will just have to work with what I have-LOVE FOR HUMANITIES. Sure, I'm not a bookworm or some feminist who's in love with Jane Austen, but I do enjoy reading ( just not for a long period of time). I also like to write and discover information about current events and history. And that's a big BIG thing-if ever I decide to be a journalist or a teacher or something related- since I am not a risk-taker. AT ALL. Why the fuck would you eat a random berry when you're stuck on an island? That shit could literally be poison, go fetch some coconut! See! that's how I think, I'd rather be hungry and feed on ants than die from my own ignorance. I NEED TO KNOW THINGS!!!------ SHIT WHERE IS THIS GOING????

aLL IM TRYNA SAY IS. I. NEED. HELP. and I know no one's ever gonna read this except myself (or if I send this to my crush who I think I am obsessed with so I better not send it to them because that will just release me into my insanity and eventually break my heart because they don't like me back for some reason that they refuse to disclose to me because they basically ghosted me and I stopped messaging them because when people don't text you back that usually means they're not into you so you gotta back off and I'm really really super frustrated at how my life is going right now so I don't need myself adding more fuel to the flame or smoke or something aaaaaa). SO THE BEST PERSON SO TURN TO is not some weird sky daddy BUT MYSELF. I need to pull my shit together and focus on my goal number 1-GET INTO the UNIVERSITY OF THE PHILIPPINES ( I do not want to discuss to myself why I want to study at that specific university or campus). I need to study for college entrance tests and fuck-take care of my skin and body more.

Man, I really wish I was more motivated and inspired and in love.

[icewindandboringhorror]

 a snow boy!!

#he kept meowing to be let outside and then just as a joke (supervising him closely of course) I let him out.. he immediately realized how #how cold it was and wanted to go back in ... A Confused boye.... #also literally every month I'm like 'okay! I'll be more active on social media!!!' *posts one thing then forgets for 3 more weeks* #I can't even deal with instragram especially sicne they don't show your notifications anymore once they get too old #I know I've missed so many comments and stuff just because they get pushed out of the notifications for being too old #and I'm never aware of them considering I check it MAYBE once every 6-8 months #which I guess is better than twitter - which I don't think I've checked in a year #but I also never post there so there's nothing on my end to check. I could check for things other people are posting but like.. who cares hg #I think that's another reason I'm bad at social media since I'm very one sided about it lol #like I follow people and stuff but... in a very passive background way? #like 'oh dont you want to check twitter daily to see what your favorite creators are up to?? :o' .....no lmao #if I like them enough then I'll go manually google them at some point and check up on them eventually when I feel like it #knowing what they ate for breakfast can be fun I guess but unnecessary #which like nothing against people who are into that stuff - it's just my brain doesn't work that way lol #ANYWAY... really I'm trying to work out my own personal schedule #due to functioning issues it's hard for me to even wake up and go to bed and eat and etc. at the same time every day #so that's my sole focus right now honestly since I'm so easily thrown off schedules by minor changes (it is hard to function in an #ever changing unpredictable world with a brain that operates best exclusively under complete routine consistency hghg) #*literally just gets sick one single day* my brain: well guess we're going to bed at 4am for the next two weeks! #*misses the pre-designated time window for eating lunch* Well! guess we wont eat! also we're going to bed at 5am! #ANYWAY... as I hope to.. after years and years of trying.. perhaps... get some semblance of a consistent schedule #maybe once I have the foundations down I can actually schedule things to do them more routinely #like 'wednesday is the day I must post things online to pretend I am a normal human person' gjhgj #which is admittedly kind of embarassing to think that I've been trying for 2 years to do basic things consistently like .. wake up and go to #sleep around the same time and eat three meals a day but.. It's The Severe Mentow Iwness Luv #I am still chugging along however.... primary projects right now are.. my game.. videos.. music.. TRYING TO DO ANOTHER #COSTUME AT some point.. maybe some art and sculptures.. Like I'm always DOING things. I just may not be doing WHAT i want WHEN i want #ex: today I was supposed to write my game. instead - edited videos for 4hrs and walked in snow for 2hrs.. productive? technically yes.. but #is it what I needed to do? no! .. this is why all of my projects end up being like 4 months worth of work but dragged out over 5 years lmao