#which i feared might happen

[sealacrossthesea]

i'm feeling so... weary

#rho.odt #i kinda hoped i would get my hyperfixations back #bc i started meds and i did have interests when i was on meds before the whole ordeal #but now it's like 'everything's the same but i'm more aware of it' kind of thing #which i feared might happen #and i kinda want to d*e ngl #also my agoraphobia didn't go anywhere :) #as well as the other thing i needed meds for #guess it really is hopeless. huh. #perhaps i shouldn't have quit smoking then. being a miserable smoker just. adds to the whole vibe #why am i even here? to get more fucked up as time goes on? fuck off.

[accursedvoid]

#wishful thinking that it might but if it does OH BOI THE ONE FEARING #Danny phantom #Danny phantom agit #a glitch in time #Danny phantom a glitch in time #not spoilers but idk? should I tag? #my faith in studios running franchises is in negatives i realky worry that if DP ever came back to the screen #that this is what would happen which would endlessly frustrate me bc the comic is GOOD and I wanna see where it’d go from here gdi #part of me is like ‘man I miss Dp on screen’ but the other wolf in me post-agit release is like ‘ONE FEAR’ #accursed posts #I am very sceptical it would revive it but you never know #I’d be happy with a revival via more comics that follow this storyline though! #the ultimate good timeline is a new cartoon that follows the comics set up but yknow that’s very wishful thinking but I can dream

[posletsvet]

My thoughts keep circling back to some similarities I spotted a while back between the Hasaba twins and Nobara. There's a handful of them, really, from what I can gather -- even if we exclude the fact that both the twins and Nobara originally come from the countryside, which would be the most obvious coincidence.

Take, for instance, Nanako and Nobara's matching personalities: they both are outspoken, confident, brash and boisterous, with somewhat an air of a typical school bully around them. At first those traits might come off as off-putting and offensive, but when you delve deeper it becomes more apparent that such abrasive attitude might just serve as a defense mechanism of sorts and what it really shows is that these girls were taught, for better or worse, how to stand up for themselves.

Then there are curious similarities between their innate techniques. Techniques of all three of them require usage of inanimate objects, and in both Mimiko and Nobara's cases it's an effigy of the target, a voodoo doll -- whether stuffed one or made of straw. Their techniques also allow them to manipulate targets from afar.

Nobara also shows unusually high tolerance of pain, and it's something that keeps bothering me. And though we know that she was trained to be a sorcerer by her grandmother, and being a sorcerer involves adopting a certain mindset, that's not something one can simply order oneself to get used to.

One other thing that doesn't seem to escape my mind is how Nobara was only ever drawn to outsiders back in her childhood, and then proceeded to look up to Maki, finding it in particular admirable how she withstands the oppression of her own family. I guess it's also worth mentioning how Nobara doesn't believe people are excused just by the circumstances they grew up in. Again, I don't think that's an attitude one can afford without facing those hardships oneself.

So what if all the similarities really stem from the background they, Nobara and the twins, come from? I doubt that being a jujutsu sorcerer in a small, enclosed society such as found in a village in the middle of nowhere is a pleasant experience. People get nosy. They also get intolerant towards something they're not prepared to include in their tiny circle. We've already seen how an outsider unwilling to assimilate, Saori, was ostracized and driven out -- and she was just a city girl. We've also seen what being a sorcerer in an environment full of narrow-minded superstition costs.

How much bias and bigotry might Nobara face? Isn't it why she jumped at the first given opportunity to leave for the city? Why she only ever made friends with newcomers to the village? Why she considered all locals to be at least at some degree insane?

I don't know where I'm going with all this, really. If anything, it serves as yet another example of how the conservative mentality of those in charge of jujutsu society harms its sorcerers. Where both sides could've benefited from cooperation, non-sorcerers are left to ignorance and the misplaced antagonism towards sorcerers which that ignorance enables. I wonder if current, somewhat anachronistic, suspicion and superstition that still lingers with some parts of non-sorcerer population are fossilized remnants of the awareness their ancestors once possessed. What was it like to be a non-jujutsu user in the Golden Era of sorcery? Was it chaos and fear of that time which created an unbridgeable rift between sorcerers and non-sorcerers? I wonder what repercussions the current situation would have for the relationship between the two. Would it be history simply repeating itself, or is there an opportunity for real, substantial change, now that the system upheld by outdated tradition is utterly destroyed? Where are we heading with the story now?

#watch me make the most unexpected and unpredictable conclusions out of nowhere #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #nobara kugisaki #nanako hasaba #mimiko hasaba #hasaba twins #jjk analysis #kind of? #dunno #but i really do wonder if the mindset present in the countryside areas is just a result of fear and hatred ordinary people #might have felt towards sorcerers in the past #the negativity born out of helplessness couldn't have been targeted at curses which non-sorcerers can't even see #so through association it should've been targeted at sorcerers and jujutsu in general #god i really want gege to get into politics of his world #though the chances of it actually happening at this point are slim #i just miss these unbelievably strong determined uncomromising and sturdy girls so so much #I have so much admiration for them

[booasaur]

For All Mankind - 3x08

#forallmankindedit #for all mankind #ellen waverly #pam horton #jodi balfour #meghan leathers #for all mankind 3x08 #femslash related stuff #ellen x pam #just 17 minutes under the wire :P #gosh these two get like 5 minutes and make them the most romantic of the show #that look after and the sense of shared history #and the little flicker of a smile in the second last gif #they're absolutely thinking about what might have happened if they'd stayed together #you're left to wonder what would have happened if SS agent hadn't knocked #danny stevens ruining everything YET AGAIN #which #don't even get me started on the damage he caused #I'd feared some kind of redemption but like...I don't see how they can come back from this #anyway...what's gonna happen with these two :o

[sunflower-silliness]

Day 5 of @heropartnerweek. [TAPS FINGERS AGAINST EACH OTHER MENACINGLY]

(tw for choking/strangulation! it's not very detailed, but still.)

(Prompt: Betrayal)

art and art tidbits under the cut ^_^

"'Or is it'? Does that mean he's staying?! Oh, that'd be great! Maybe we could... hold on, why's the mouth on his stomach opening? What's he-"

Dusknoir's sudden lunge towards the two cut off Gaia's train of thought just as quick as it did his oxygen.

the fact that those two are so Fucking Tiny makes them really easy to disarm 😋

#pokemon mystery dungeon #pmd #pokemon mystery dungeon explorers of sky #pmd eos #pmd explorers #heropartnerweek #hero partner week #heropartnerweek2024 #bulbasaur #vulpix #dusknoir #team petrichor shenanigans #lav's art #strangulation cw #strangulation tw #|| #i got the feedback 😈 #is it obvious that i have no idea how tf those lines on dusknoir's arms work 😭 #speaking of which. i haven't talked abt what team petrichor's relationship with dusknoir was/is on here yet. i will soon guys. trust #i fear this might be too dark for hpweek but... let's just see what happens

[sysig]

You’re gonna die if you keep that up (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Kayako #And Teisel's there technically #*Die again - he's sticking with his track record lol at least he's consistent #Ghost/Curse GF arc!! I enjoy seeing ZEX happy but I am Concerned for him lol #ZEX be attracted to something/one that won't brutally murder him challenge - difficulty impossible #His affection for the grotesque and monstrous - I mean while it's admirable he does regularly put himself in dangerous situations! #Runs solely on the Suspension Bridge Effect lol - attraction and fear so conflated in his mind <3 #I keep thinking of his human instincts as specifically Max's instincts since it's his body - Max's self-preservation and fear and hunger #Which ZEX dutifully ignores lol Max's body tells him to bolt and privately replies like ''Yes yes in a moment'' haha #His fascination wins out! To his own detriment haha #Although I say all that as though I don't relate in my own way - I have maybe just a few too many notes relating to ZEX lol #It's always been hard for me to get into horror in the way it's intended to spook and scare because I tend to get sad :') #So many monsters and ghosts and creatures are victims of circumstance! Like Kayako! As she is here she's not even malicious just dangerous #I've never seen the Grudge so it's only speculation but it seems very sad that she was tethered as a Curse rather than a malignant spirit #Like a battery moreso than an individual - what a terrible after-existence! It makes me sad to consider! #ZEX reaching out to her in his own way is very sweet <3 He's so biased towards his darlings hehe #In a way being human does suit him - we'll packbond with anything that Might have even the slightest inclination to not maim us lol #And the way he personifies her! (VUXonifies her?) Reading intention or emotion into her actions with no proof and no understanding! #The way he ''tries to read her face'' as if he hasn't been struggling with that this entire time - with other humans who can tell him so ♪ #His pride is so delicious <3 He is so easily blinded to his own shortcomings in the face of pleasure and the potential for connection! #It's no wonder DAX worries about him so much hehe ♥ #It also always makes me so happy to have something fit together so perfectly like those last two hehe <3 #That vine didn't exist when this happened! But there it is!! I love newer memes on older media hehehe ♪♫

[leafyloveslaughing]

#ok so guess my surprise when i found out that #kdj's line about Asmodeus. Dont touch my incarnation. #did NOT refer to sys?? XD #anyways have some dadja #my art #orv #kim dokja #shin yoosung #lee gilyoung #listen. LISTEN. i am a simultaneously impatient but also fearful of spoilers- #so i do this weird little dance of dipping my toes in but then getting scared off cuz i want to experience the series normally #which usually means i have SOME spoiler knowledge but with absolutely no context lol #the actual scene was a very nice surprise tho. especially after so long of being nervous of what might happen to the kids T.T

[thepoisonroom]

btw if someone you love wants to talk about how they're interested in any type of transition it's actually very cool and swagful to ask them what parts they're interested in and excited for so they can share the joy of it with you

#when i got back on t i had just been dating my girlfriend for a few months and i was so nervous to talk with her about it #because i was like even very well-meaning allies will start telling you about all their fears about your transition #which isn't helpful and can sometimes feel worryingly like you're doing a bad thing that would jeopardize the relationship if any of those #fears happened #and her first response was to ask about what i wanted from taking t and we just talked about all the possibilities i was excited about #and at the end of it i felt even better and more confident about my decision and our relationship #being unconditionally loved and supported is so crazy like even difficult times of your life can be an opportunity to enjoy being close #not that taking it was a difficult time but just that the uncertainty about what she might say had been a huge source of nerves #and it was nice to feel like our bond was even stronger after we had that talk #personal nonsense #sorry if that was rambling i got a little too high :(

[gendrie]

"Horpe and Massey aspire to your father's seat. Massey wants the wildling princess too. He once served my brother Robert as squire and acquired his appetite for female flesh."

i forgot that stannis literally says massey wants winterfell 💀 let me throw some more money down on massey trying to marry jeyne/"arya"

#asoiaf nonsense #*and theres jon's line about stannis marrying ''arya'' to one of his men - massey among them #i think op of that thread is overly optimistic about how fast jeyne will recover but #idk actually that could be a twist #if she finds comfort in him that would complicate things #re: arya reclaiming her identity #which i have considered might be an issue #theon put a lot of fear into jeyne about what will happen to her if she loses arya's name

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

My personal “screaming about the lack of Ladynoir in the finale” post TM

Don’t know how to preface this???

this isn’t hate for the finale,

this is more, me reveling in the Angst of what they Chose Not To Put and screaming and wailing about how ladynoir has me in a chokehold

Im coming to terms with the s5 finale and finding bits of hope for my Ladynoir heart, etc. And i have decided that the finale has a ton of very very cool potential.

But i still can’t stop imagining… what if Adrien had gotten the messages from Ladybug??? What if he was About to give up being Chat Noir and give in to hopelessness and nightmares and terror and the cage he was trapped in and THEN (probably via Plagg, they could make it work) he got the frantic terrified messages from ladybug that were like “hi where ARE you?!?!?! Kitty cat come in NOW i NEED YOU!!?!? Hawkmoth knows my identity i think i am going to die i am all alone please please please show up i need you pick up pick UP.”

What if he was like. “Oh.” And his world just. Shifted. He thought his worst fear was ending the world as chat or being trapped even further by transforming in front of his father and being Caught but now Neither of those matter… now the only fear is just… not being Enough for ladybug… the fear of losing her or letting her down or making her feel as alone and abandoned and hopeless as he does right now????

What if he just????? Transformed without a moment of hesitation??? What if he was there taking to her on the phone coaching her through breathing and telling her he promised she would be okay and he promised he would be proud of her no matter what happened???? What if his own nightmares and fears started slipping through on the call and SHE turned around and reassured HIM that she trusts him fully and if he can’t trust himself he can at least trust HER judgement????? What if they both managed to avoid the mind control by being Each Others’ alliance?????

What if Ladybug found out that Chat Noir was in London ,,, because if Her identity’s been revealed to Monarch and she’s In His House than it’s Already going to hell and secrets don’t matter anymore, it just matters that they trust each other??? All they ever WANTED was to be open and trust and now its all they have left??? And theres not identity reveal or speculation bc it doesnt MATTER right now it just matters to SURVIVE or at LEAST be together for the end.

What if she told him not to come to Paris because it’s too dangerous to be in the same spot and he was like “im so sorry but i Cannot do that i cant leave you there Alone” and she was like “i know. and i love you. And id do the same. And that’s also why i cant tell you who monarch is or where the house is because i KNOW you’ll come here and i cant stop you. We cant both be in his grasp i just need you on the phone”

What if she fought in the basement for her life while getting support from him whilst he rallied all the other heroes and the resistance across the surface of paris???? What if we had ladybug and chat noir fighting the same battle on two different fronts, both Very Aware of each others’ situation nonstop,,, working as a Team despite the distance????? What if chat was just nonstop doing everything he could to reassure ladybug that they were doing okay and everyone supported her and he Trusted Her to do anything because the nightmares were STILL debilitating for everyone including them and they couldnt afford for either of them to get akumatized or even DISTRACTED and they just told puns and reminded each other when to use their powers and when to breathe?????

And chat could be captured or whatever and have to call out to ladybug and she could be like “send me your kwami its okay you did so good, i’ll be okay ill see you again”

Bug noire could still happen but it would be a strategic choice BOTH of them made TOGETHER with pain and love mixed together rather than the result of major decisions that they both were forced to make Independantly with no communication only fear and guilt and lonliness???

I dont know how to explain this but this is not salt this is not hate towards the episode this is just,,,, UGH this show has made me SO INVESTED in the dynamics and they had a CHANCE to do stuff and make it so fun and they DIDNT ,,,, they CHOSE to make it darker and grittier this time and i think it’s probably going in a cool direction,,, i think that ladybug and chat noir are gonna have some Fun (for me not for them) things to Discuss after this and some brand new abandonment issues combined with weird bits of Hope that Apparently they can survive on their own, all in a messy weird blurry pool of fears and relief and guilt and lonliness!!!!! And there’s so much to explore

But ALSO i miss my ladynoir goddammit i miss when it was the ladybug and chat noir show and i feel a little bit hollow seeing how ALONE!!! BOTH OF THEM were!!! this entire finale!!!!!!!!! Why are they ALONE those are my LADYNOIR they are PARTNERS do not SEPARATE THEM!!!! Stop doing PLOTS and HARD DECISIONS and IN CHARACTER MISTAKES to them and PLEASE just let them be perfect and together anyways aaaaaaaaa

(Bonus u can read the absolute essay i accidentally put in my tags for more scrambled thoughts)

#ml spoilers #ml s5 spoilers #ml s5 finale #ml recreation #ladynoir #me screaming #ml meta #i guess #i have no idea how to tag this #complicated feelings where i loved the finale i think #but also WOW did that hurt #which is kinda #proof of how impctful these chatacters are #and how hard this show makes you root for relationships #ive been thinking for So Long and i am just SURE #that after the themes and narratives this show has chosen to hold dear and make the audience care about #there is No Way this is the end of ladynoir #but i fear it may be Migrating #it might have to Go Away for a little while to let some character development happen #and i can imagine so many cool scenerios with ladynoir falling apart conflict #and so many ways for them to fall apart and fall back together #but all of them HURT like HECK and AAAA #i think the long post filter will help this and i wont have to add a read more but if theres issues with it being too long lmk #also whoopsie didnt mean to put essay in tags #i just. i have soooo many feelings #waaaaa #please please friends i am begging #someone write fanfiction of ladynoir being togeyher in the finale #just for . like. being in denial reasons #for reveling in the past and the eventual future reasons

[july-19th-club]

love season 2. i'm concussions! and i'm psychic visions! the headache brothers

#s2 might be my favorite full season hands down even though some of my favorite single episodes/emotional arcs come later #which is weird bc it also has a lot of stuff in it i DON'T like (the way gordon was handled. some annoying motws. et cetera) #but overall it's well paced entertaining has a great score as per usual for the early years . and balances intrigue with grief and fear #and they're SO headaches. the advil consumption in that household (carhold?) is in the double digits daily . ulcers forming as we speak #also croatoan is in this season! one of THE most dread-filled eps they ever did #plus of course what is & what should never be (goes without saying) all hell breaks loose part one last five minutes (goes WITHOUT saying) #etc etc #like you can tell there's a lot of gamble here but it's in a good way #um. the wizard van telepath. victor hi victor . sorry about these horrible boys . houses of the holy!! there's like zero complete misses #i think gabriel is annoying but the CONCEPT of his first episode was still great. don't love the early jodean dynamic but i like how it end #they spend a lot of time genuinely having to deal with The Law etc . the stuff that happens in this one more than even s1 sets the tone #for like everything that follows. for better or worse. the cycle of death/sacrifice/rebirth/sacrifice . the beginning of the religion angle #the expansion of the world (for a while anyway) #i'd go so far as to call it 'good television' #spn

[sm0kebreaks]

such a pet peeve to read things where ppl refer to the mass ritual as the watchers crown

#was reading comments on the wiki page for desecrated host and got annoyed #i read thru the transcript of that ep recently n feel like i get it pretty well and #got so baffled by the comments pointing out what fears are in the statement #but like i feel like they dont GET it #like yeha he did a lil cannabilism but i dont think that means it was the flesg #i think hes a man marked by the spiral through and through #i think he showed up 2 hilltop and when the desolation tried to claim him the web stopped it bc spiral had dibs #unclear if that implies the fears respect each others marks or the web just needed him for something else #but everything else is the spiral #all the mention of yellow in the statement is clearly an indicator of the spiral or at the very least the distortion #the tall figure? #the fact the ppl were cut open with what seemed like a scalpel but there werent any weapons found #dont we know a certain being with notably sharp fingerz #the point of statements isnt to point out every single thing that could be in it.... its what clearly was terrifying the statement giver #which for the majority of it was clearly that hr could not trust his own mind or senses #that just manifested like a demon bc thats a way for him to conceptualize what might be happening

[todayisafridaynight]

once more thinking about The Morning Of New Years 2001 and its just now dawning on me that arakawa really chugged two bottles of booze and smoked A Fuck Bitch of ciggies Presumably before noon. like dire situation i know but god damn guy got a lot done in two hours

#snap chats #AND he's just chilling in the dark. ok not 'chilling' but yk what i mean #either he can really hold his liquor or bro picked up some .5% shit #now some might say 'snap it's two hours' and to that i say 'it's only been two hours' he just walkin off two bottles like theyre nothin #unless he is The Most Functional Drunk perceivable theeeeeen CHRIST #in all fairness he is only sitting so no fear of him tripping and banging his head into his desk but still #were you doin twenty-minute rule my dude... funny as hell consideration considering. The Fuck Bitch Of Ciggies #like i dont think health consciousness is on the table this morning.. #what time is it. at that point. i keep telling myself i'd try to hunt down the time in-game but i doubt i'd find anything #arakawa office so fucked for not having a clock on the wall like girl id go mad not knowing what time it is #can i get a timeline of events for what happened. jo calls -> presumably they talk about a plan -> drink time #i doubt arakawa would be lying about the time sawashiro got in contact with him.... unless he did.... lol... anyway.. #i just want a timeline of events like masato commits murder at midnight -> calls jo afterwards -> ??? #did my guy sleep on it.. did he think of a plan all night... #ok bye i cant be sittin on this all night i have a comic im lining. which is why i made this post LMAO #I REMINDED MYSELF OF ARAKAWA'S DEPRESSION BREAKFAST ok bye

[tomorrowcomesadaytoosoon]

mam saying how alike palm and his dad are several times, and also telling her son she left because she felt suffocated by chanon's love. nueng constantly being annoyed by people underestimating him. palm helping and doing everything for nueng. i have more than one fear

#never let me go #just another way to foreshadow and plant bad omens #it might happen or it might not #i'm thinking not - they are not like palm's parents and are in a very different situation #which is much more threatening and a bigger fear of mine #this is me preparing for the worst agahdkfk #palm is so blinded by love i hope the message of him owning his own life is the winning one #would help both himself and nueng #or if it ends badly it could be a warning not to lose and disregard yourself because of love #prepared and ready to be obliterated either way

[cherrysnax]

the fear of being absolutely incomprehensible is a big one

#i think it comes from seeing how the people in my family (myself included) have responded and reacted to the other schizophrenic ppl in my #family. which is alot in my immediate family #when I see these symptoms in myself yes there’s this fear of what’s gonna happen to my brain but my biggest worry is how I will be othered #yes all the people who hurt me in my family are schizophrenic yes they would’ve done it anyway. vaguing my dad because he doesn’t understand #I already see things hear things have fixed delusions #etc but theees so much pressure on me to. not have the rest of those symptoms #and I doubt my parents know it #hell I put the majority of that stress on myself. idk im black and if I start talking ‘’nonsense’’ in public somebody might have the right y #to kill me #if I can’t understand myself how can someone else understand me #if I can’t understand the world around me how can I keep myself safe #im so fucking frustrated

[kenobihater]

AUGH. was planning a trip to a big city memorial museum i've never been to before bc all my school field trips and countless later visits were to the main art and history museum. i just looked up the memorial museum, and not only do they have a REALLY cool exhibit coming up concerning a topic i'm interested in, not only do they also have a really extensive archive that available to both academics and the public upon appointment, but volunteer opportunities are available for several positions in the museum including archival assistance!!!

it's administrative duties rather than archival management (which good, people need qualifications for that) but that's literally what i'm considering getting a degree in!!! so it's not only something i'd be passionate about if my application was accepted, but if i decide to commit and enroll this fall, then that would be getting experience in the field!

#also living history applications are available to ppl who have volunteered enough but i doubt i'd pass muster considering i look like a 13 #year old boy if i pass lmao. and i'm not doing a living history role as a woman no matter how bad they might need it. so i'll pribably have #to pass on that but i'm still stupidly excited about the possibility of other volunteer work!! #i need to visit the museum and decide if i like it first before i even think about that and also factor in driving in big city traffic and #godawful streets (terrifying) or using our public transport system which i've never done before and have no idea how much it would be #just checked the price and yeah if i decide to do this i'm one million percent riding the bus idc if the route will take 45 mins to 2 hrs #i would happily spend two hours in a bus over 35 in a car having to fear for my life on the ride there. also NO PARKING POG!!!! #i may or may not post pics of my upcoming visit. oh who am i kidding i'm probably gonna post some and absolutely spam my friends with the #rest (anna this means u. i still adore ur museum pics). i also might get so entranced i forget to take any pictures which has happened #before when i get sucked into museums before lmao. we shall see #len speaks