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thexfridax · 3 years

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Wynonna Earp Boss Hopes Syfy Finale Made You Feel 'All the Things' — Plus, Scoop on One Happy Wedding Accident

By Matt Webb Mitovich, tvline.com / April 9 2021, 8:02 PM PDT

The following contains spoilers from the Syfy finale of Wynonna Earp.

After four years of protecting Purgatory with her Peacemaker, Wynonna Earp got to quite literally ride off into the sunset. And she did so while straddling a motorcycle, with Doc Holliday seated behind her.

Mind you, the two almost didn’t wind up together. Following the simply beautiful “WayHaught” wedding, Doc (played by Tim Rozon) was determined to put Purgatory in Charlene’s rear view mirror and get to living life as “just a man,” and Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) felt compelled to stay put as Purgatory’s protector. But with an empowering nudge from li’l sis Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley), Wynonna caught up to her man and professed her love, after which they decided to travel light, for the first time in a long time, and pay their daughter Alice a visit in MIracles, Montana.

TVLine spoke with series creator Emily Andras about crafting this very fine finale, at least one “happy accident” that wound up stirring many emotions, and more.

TVLINE | The finale has just aired…. What emotions do you hope the fans are feeling at this moment?

Just head-to-toe body warmth, and love, and affection, and wistfulness…. And a little bit of bittersweetness. I feel like joy has to be paired with nostalgia, so I hope they’re feeling all the things. But hopefully not hungover!

TVLINE | At what point over the years did you ever envision Wynonna and Doc riding off into the sunset?

Ahhh! I almost never even let myself envision it, you know? It’s so funny — when you start doing a show, you have all sorts of ideas about what pairings are going to rise to the top, who’s going to end up with whom, and one of the joys of Earp is that so many different things have happened. But those two characters have certainly earned the chance to try to be happy, whatever that means to them. I never knew that I would be allowed to end such a romantic pairing with the woman driving the motorcycle and the guy on the back.

TVLINE | I’m watching that final sequence and it almost feels alien, seeing the two of them head off into what I think of as “the real world.” But I also found that viscerally exciting, to see so much ahead for them.

That’s so lovely, thank you for saying that. I feel like having the world ahead of them and being such an unusual couple, I would love to see what happens next for them. I’m sure there will be lots of crazy sex and crazy arguments and crazy laughter. So, godspeed! Godspeed.

TVLINE | When throwing a season-ending wedding, what is Emily Andras’ marching order? “Above all else, this wedding has to be…”?

It has to honor to all of the characters — and by that, I mean it has to try to find a moment for every special pairing on the show, not just WayHaught. I think it’s important to pay due respect to how far Waverly and Doc have come; she never gave up on him, she always saw a better man in him — and now he gets to be the best man! Nedley (Greg Lawson) and Nicole’s (Kat Barrell) relationship, that paternal/daughter bond is so special, so honoring that was very important.

And at the end of the day, I still think the real love affair of the show is the Earp sisters, so I ended to make sure that that was honored. I really love the parallel with the pilot, where Wynonna came into town against her will and was so hungry to leave but was forced to stay. And now you have Waverly secure enough in how their relationship has evolved, that she knows Wynonna deserves to leave again — because she’ll come back.

More than anything, it was about giving every character a moment of happiness. Even Jeremy (Varun Saranga) becoming deputy chief of Black Badge and maybe finding a new date…. It was all about finding everyone a moment of potential joy, after they’ve gone through so much after four seasons.

TVLINE | Talk about the decision to have empty guest chairs laid out with the names of those who are no longer with us or didn’t make it to the wedding.

That was such a happy accident. We were on-set, it was very much in the middle of the pandemic, and we knew we were going to have a limited number of people for the wedding. But then we put out chairs so you could understand where the aisle was, and they looked really empty. So my incredible director, Paolo Barzman, who also did the pilot, and my art director Trevor Smith, pitched this idea to me. I had sort of joked about, “Wouldn’t it be cool if you had the ghosts of characters past?” In the moment, they said, “What if we hung names on the chairs?” and it was just one of those goosebump moments, like, “That’s brilliant.” So then we have people writing up these cards, rushing them out, and it’s honestly one of my favorite things. Whenever I see that Dolls chair, I just can’t help but feel things.

TVLINE | But Mercedes (Dani Kind), to be clear, is still with us.

She’s just out, like, being her best vampire self. She’s out being an amazing vampire, yeah. I still have that spinoff if you want to help me sell that!

TVLINE | If anything caught me a bit off-guard, it was us getting a song from Rachel (played by Martina Ortiz-Luis).

The thing about Martina is that she is a phenomenal singer. She is the anthem singer for the Toronto Maple Leafs — so she’s quite a star here! — and she was on Pilipinas Got Talent back in the day…. It seemed like a waste to not have someone with such an exceptional voice perform! And what better song to lay over the necessary wedding montage than a WayHaught classic (Fleurie’s “Wildwood”), the song that was playing the first time WayHaught kissed. It’s a bit of an Easter egg for those hardcore WayHaughters!

TVLINE | I don’t think anyone would have ever felt like a “Dark Angel Waverly” detour was missing, if you hadn’t spent time on it the episode prior. Why did you feel it was important to go there during one of the final hours?

The truth of it is that honestly we’ve been balancing the spectre of whether we were going to have a Season 5 or not. When we started breaking Season 4 two years ago, we were looking down the barrel of about 24 episodes, so [when you get half that] you’re like, “What are we going to keep, and what are we going to pitch overboard? What can we live without learning about?” I would argue that this idea of Waverly having a darkness inside of her did have to be highlighted after four seasons. I completely agree that in a perfect world I could have done eight episodes of Dark Angel Waverly, exploring that and seeing it come to pass. But if we ever get more story, I don’t know if Waverly has complete control over that part of herself. I dont think it’s “gone.” If Nicole puts mayo instead of mustard on her sandwich, who knows what’s going to sprout out!

TVLINE | I mean, if only to see what other outfits Dark Waverly has.

As long as she keeps her thigh holster, she’s ready to go.

TVLINE | Looking back at these last few episodes, what are you most proud of?

‘m so proud of this cast. It’s so boring, but God, just to see them grow and thrive and shine…. performing comedy and emotion, seeing their commitment to the show, and the feelings…. It’s just been such a joy to see such an amazing group of people get their due. They really are that wonderful, off-screen as well.

I’m also pretty happy — in this day and age, and despite all the fights the show has been through — that if this is the end, I feel like that’s a pretty nice finale, a pretty good topper on the cake. I feel like the fans will feel like they went on a journey, and they left the characters in an interesting, good place. And look, that’s really rare in TV, to end your story the way you want. How can I be anything but grateful, at the end of the day?

TVLINE | When I was writing my tweet the other morning, I wanted to call it a “very fine finale,” but I worried you’d think I was saying it was only “fine.” But it was a very fine finale!

No, you have to keep me hungry! You get to challenge me, Matt. Listen, I just didn’t want to risk…. I’m the queen of 75 cliffhangers, but I feel like the fans have worked so hard for us, for so many years, that it was more important that they got closure, just in case. But there’s always another demon, there’s always another thing to trigger Dark Angel Waverly. There’s always more story, but at least you have this, no matter what.

TVLINE | And if some network or streamer does ride to the rescue, would there be something that brings Wynonna and Doc back to Purgatory? Or might a Season 5 be without the two of them?

Look, the show is called Wynonna Earp, so you need Wynonna Earp. She’s still the champion, she’s still got the magic gun and the best hair on the show — sorry, everyone else!

There are a couple of unresolved issues. We still have Eve, who we kicked out the the Garden very early in the season, and who can kind of shapeshift; she could take on the appearance of any one of our characters! That would certainly throw a wrench in the works in Purgatory. There are a million different reasons to bring Wynonna back, to help out her sister.

TVLINE | And lastly, was there anything you had to cut or just didn’t have room for, or any returning cast you couldn’t fit in?

Oh, tons. But look, you kind of hit the nail on the head earlier. I’m always striving to be better, and some stuff at the end felt a little rushed, with Dark Angel Waverly. I think if it hadn’t been a pandemic, there would have been more people at that wedding. I would have loved four more episodes to round the bend there. But look, that’s Wynonna Earp, man — perfectly imperfect! So that’s what we did, and what a ride it’s been. The ride of a lifetime for me.

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marvels-writings · 4 years

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Size Doesn’t Matter

Requested by Anon: can you do a nat x fem reader where the reader is really insecure bc shes a lil bigger than the other girls and thinks she isnt as pretty and maybe nat tries to prove her otherwise ? i love ur work btw !!

A/N: Aww thanks, here you go

Word Count: 1,053

“Shopping is always a good idea,” Natasha stated, grinning at you and walking into your shared room to change.

“Maybe but I don’t want to.” You whined, seated on the couch in a navy blue oversized hoodie and sweatpants.

“Come on, we haven’t gone shopping in forever.” Natasha groaned, popping her head out of the doorway to your shared room, giving you her best puppy eyes.

“Fine.” You grumbled, getting off the couch and going to the bathroom to change into something nice.

Shopping wasn’t your forte, it included trying things on which wasn’t always the best thing, even on good days. Today, you had been feeling especially bad about yourself after you’d seen pictures on Natasha’s Instagram of women she had been with before.

You got changed into a loose favorite/color top with faded smoke jeans, slinging a black Adidas jacket over your shoulder, and putting on black vans. Natasha had changed into a scarlet tank top, a similar black jacket, dark grey leggings, and similar colored sneakers. Her short blonde hair was let down and fell just below her ears.

“Let’s go.” She said, grinning at you and taking your hand, leading you to her sports car.

She drove you from the compound to the nearest shopping area which was Macy’s and Nordstrom Rack. Natasha loved spoiling you, she instantly went to the area with fancy dresses and jewelry, picking out dresses for you to try excitedly. You whined about it being too much, she just smiled at you and said you deserved it before picking out another dress.

Once you had two armfuls of dresses and you were almost begging for her to stop, she led you over to the changing rooms. She had been watching you carefully, to her it seemed like you didn’t want to be spoiled, it didn’t look like she was making you uncomfortable. ‘

You walked into one of the changing rooms, Natasha waited by leaning against the wall and browsing on her phone casually. One of the attendees came over to her to make sure she didn’t need anything and started chatting with her casually.

You changed into the dress, it was tighter than you had expected, it highlighted all of your curves, but you hated it. The off-shoulder was the worst part about it, you sighed and opened the door to show Natasha, knowing she would want to see it.

Natasha was talking to one of the attendees, she was tall, an athletic build, long brown hair, and gorgeous hazel eyes. The attendee was flirting with Natasha, moving closer to her the entire time, the blonde spotted you in the doorway and turned to face you with a grin, eyes wide at how you looked, she walked over to you.

“Damn you should dress like this more often.” Natasha whistled, you looked at the ground nervously, covering your midsection with your arms. She rested her hands on your waist, admiring how good you looked.

“Can, can we go back home?” You stuttered, Natasha frowned.

“What’s wrong moya Lyubov?” Natasha asked softly, the Russian nickname slipping off her tongue with ease.

“Nothing, can we leave?” You asked again.

Natasha nodded and pulled away from you to let you change. She stood outside your door this time, scared for you. It wasn’t like you to end a shopping spree this quickly, you usually went all out on buying hoodies and new jeans. This wasn’t like you.

You changed out of the dress and back into your jeans without looking in the mirror, you walked out of the changing room nervously and set the clothes on the cart for the employees to put back. Natasha followed you out, noticing how you were walking faster than usual.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?” Natasha asked once you’d gotten into the parking lot, you walked towards the car, fidgeting with your hands.

“It’s nothing, I just didn’t like the dress.” You lied, Natasha saw right through it and frowned.

“Don’t lie to me,” Natasha said softly, reaching out and taking your hand softly as you reached the car, she pulled you to a stop in front of the car.

“I just…” You trailed off, Natasha’s emerald gaze making you nervous. She hooked one finger under your chin and lifted your face to look into your e/c eyes.

“It’s me, you know you can tell me anything,” Natasha whispered to you comfortingly.

“It’s just that you’ve been with so many gorgeous women, they are skinny and perfect. Why would you pick me?” You asked, pulling away from her to gesture to yourself, eyes glazing with tears.

“I don’t look nearly as good as them, I’m not even half as perfect.” You said, voice breaking at the last word.

Natasha’s heart broke at the sight of you, you were crying because you thought you wouldn’t be good enough for her. It broke her heart that you would even think that, you were perfect to her.

“Y/n, you’re perfect,” Natasha murmured, you opened your mouth to speak but Natasha cut you off.

“No, listen, all those other women I’ve been with were never as good as you. You’re amazing, you’re kind, empathic, funny as hell, smart and almost as clever as I am.” You chuckled softly and Natasha smiled.

“Size doesn’t matter okay? I love you, nothing is going to change that.” Natasha said softly, pulling you in for a hug.

You returned the hug hesitantly, arms coming to wrap around Natasha. She rubbed your back softly before pulling away, giving you a small kiss before heading in the driver’s seat. You sat in the passenger seat, smiling when Natasha rested her hand on your knee as she drove you both out of the parking lot and back towards the compound.

“Plus, I have a few ideas to show you how perfect you are.” Natasha winked at you, you blushed while trying to prevent a grin from coming across your face, failing miserably.

“You can’t be soft for more than a few minutes, can you?” You joked, Natasha laughed and stroked the inside of your knee with her thumb.

“Maybe, but you love me anyway.” She teased, your blush worsened.

You loved her anyway, despite her cockiness, her arrogance, and her scars, you loved her anyway. Now, you knew she loved you despite everything.

Taglist: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @5aftermidnight, @hstoria, @natasha-danvers, @veryfunnyal, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @ophelias-heart , @never-didbefore , @justarandomhumanhere, @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all , @thatssocamryn , @lesbian-x-blackwidow , @wlw-imaginesss let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

A/N: Thoughts? (sorry if it’s not that great I’m a bit tired for some reason)

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sapphiresea · 5 years

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ECCC – The Wayhaught Experience

Hey guys! So a couple people asked that I write about my experience at Emerald City Comic Con, and I did! It’s a bit long, so it’s below a cut because I had a lot to say, but I also trimmed it down a bit for better fit. (Pictures included.)

Now, let me start by saying my plan for the weekend was really simple. I was getting Dom and Kat to each sign my group photo from last year, and on top of that, I was getting another autograph from Dom to use as my tattoo – asking her specifically to write “I’m here and I stay” for me. Then, I was going to get a selfie with each and a duo photo op. Yeah. Let’s not talk about how much extra money I dropped because I decided they were too amazing and wanted to capitalize on this convention as much as possible. But also, I definitely do not regret it.

So once I got my ticket, I headed straight to the building where they had autographs, photo ops, and main stage panels. Although her line was longer, I decided to see Dom first, then Kat, during their first autograph session of the con.

I wasn’t too far back in Dom’s line, which was cool, and it felt pretty fast to get to see her, even though she was chatting with everyone. Two people in front of me were trying to get a selfie and Dom was holding out the camera trying to position it so they were all in frame and it looked like a major struggle bus for someone short, so I offered to help. She immediately thrust the phone at me and very politely agreed and thanked me. So when I got to the front, she was like, “Hello again!”

She was confused by the instruction of her manager for what I wanted for the tattoo, but as soon as I said it, she knew immediately what I meant. She pulled a multicolor pen from her fanny pack, clicked the blue and said she would write it a couple of times to make sure I had what I wanted. The second time was perfect, though. I told her that last summer had been particularly hard and that I had lost a lot of people I cared about, and that Jolene had really helped me to get through some of those nights, and got me to five years clean (which received a “wow” from her). I said that listening to her talk about anxiety in the Black Badge podcast had very much helped inspire me to send in my grad school applications and that I had just been accepted into all the schools to which I applied, and she was really impressed. I can’t remember exactly what she said, but I do remember her saying, “Isn’t it amazing? You’re so afraid of doing something and there’s no reason for it! You got into every school!” She asked where I was planning to go, so I told her I picked York University in Toronto and she said that was awesome and “right around the corner from Kat!” She also asked what I was studying, so I told her quant psych/statistics, and I don’t think she connected as much with that, but she was still very sweet about it. I thanked her and got a really cute selfie before moving on to meet with Kat.

Kat was a completely different energy altogether! Dom was very mellow and sweet, like she really lives up to that hippie vibe, but Kat was much more intense, full eye contact, leaning forward, asking a bunch of questions.

I got up to her pretty quickly, as the lines weren’t long so early on Friday. I was having her sign my group photo from last year’s Calgary Comic Expo and she recognized it immediately and asked if that’s where I’m from. She was very excited when I said, “yes.” I said I had just flown in that morning before coming and that I was living off about 45 minutes of sleep. She was like, “Oh, so you’re here, but you’re like, I’M HERE BUT I’M A LITTLE BIT CRAZY!?” Which…yeah, pretty much!

I told her I was excited just to be there, though, because the trip was a graduation present and a celebration because I got into every grad school to which I applied. She was stunned and congratulated me and I replied that it was really cool because it was a highly competitive program and I didn’t think I would get in at all. She asked what I study and I told her quant psych, and that there’s only four schools in Canada that have that program and most only have a couple spots each per year. Her eyes went huge and she congratulated me again. She said she was sure I’d make the right choice of where to go, and when I said I had just accepted the offer from York, she asked if I meant the one in Toronto and was stoked when I said “yes.” She told me York was an amazing school and I would absolutely love it. She added that she had considered York for undergrad because they had a theater program there, and then had almost gone there for an MBA when she didn’t think acting would work out. I told her my best friend had just gotten her MBA from there and she was like, “See!? It’s an amazing school!” and started talking up Toronto and how much I would love it. That made me pretty jazzed, really. We actually ended up talking much more than I thought before taking two selfies (they’re pretty similar, so I only included my favorite) and I had to run for a photo op unrelated to Wynonna Earp.

Right, so…Here is where the impulsivity of con life kicked in. And let me start this by saying: I did a great job at not blowing a ton of money on impulse buys for stuff. So what I spent here was almost kinda-sorta balanced, maybe? Don’t overthink it. I bought individual photo ops for Dom on Friday and Kat on Sunday.

I met this guy, David, in line for Dom’s photos, and we were chatting the whole time. He was really fun, and we ended up hanging out after. Anyway, it came up that I didn’t have a ticket for Saturday’s show and his son wasn’t going to be using his. He offered to let me buy it off of him and was able to get it for me before the end of the day! Amazing. And as it turned out, Saturday was an incredible day, as well, so I am immensely grateful that I didn’t end up missing it.

Here’s my photo op individual with Dominique. We don’t get a lot of chance to really talk during photo ops, but of course I asked for my usual funny faces, and when we were done, she joked that she’s certain that it was going to turn out really sexy. She was right.

I changed my Sunday photo ops with Kat to be Saturday photo ops. I had chosen to wear a jacket I found a few months ago that was the same Waverly wore in season 2, and when I walked in, Kat exclaimed, “That looks familiar! Was it on the show?” I replied, “Yeah! Waverly had it.” And she was like, “Oh, Waverly had it! I remember that.”

I brought along fake moustaches to go along with her #SolidarityInStaches posts, and I didn’t even have to ask before she was like, “Can I pick whichever one?” Of course, yes, and she took the pink one. I picked a curly black one and pocketed the rest. She peeled off the sticker back to stick it to her face and gave a hilariously serious pose, while I just held mine up. As I left, she asked if she could keep it, and I said, “Definitely!”

I met up with my friend, Carole, after the live stage interview, and she was about to go see Dom and Kat again and in case no one’s picked up on a pattern yet, I’m weak, so I was like, “Cool, I’ll go have them sign my individual photo ops!” Plus, Kat was selling that photo of her and Bernie that was donating all of the proceeds went to Soi Dog, which is a great organization, so I decided to get an autograph for my best friend, who I got into Earper life a few months ago, who loves Kat.

This time, I saw Kat first, and I told her all about the friend she was signing for, because she recognized immediately that my name was not ‘Catherine.’ I told her I had tried for ages to get my friend into it and lure her in with great representation and storylines and humor… Finally I remembered a very important fact about my friend: her weakness is hot redheads. So I texted her a photo of Nicole and said, “Did I mention there’s a hot redhead lesbian?” and she immediately jumped at it. Kat thought that was hilarious and said my friend sounds awesome.

Since she was still signing, I spoke with her a bit about Pooched and she was so excited that I had watched the trailer and the live stream and enjoyed it. You can really tell how passionate she is about that project, and honestly guys, if you haven’t yet, you definitely should watch. I joked that my friends and I don’t have dogs, but we do treat our cats like that. She asked if my friends had ever thrown a birthday party for their cats and I told her I have one friend who did. I added that we’re honors students, which means we present almost every week in class and she will work her cat into every presentation. Sometimes it’s really creative. That really amused her.

She also mentioned that she loved the moustache photo we had taken and that she had kept the pink moustache and was planning to take a picture with it later. I have no idea if she really will or if she’s lost it or anything, but I was just happy that she enjoyed it! I told her I had found a box of fake moustaches randomly in my room and she was like, “Do you know why you had them?” and I said, “I just know my mom bought them for me years ago and they were just sitting there until you started your moustache thing!” She said it was meant to be, or something like that.

Dom’s table was completely empty when I was done with Kat, so I hopped right over there. As I was paying for autographs, she noticed immediately the outfit I was wearing and exclaimed, “You’re wearing the Waverly shirt!” I replied that I had thrifted it, too, which she thought was great. As she started to sign, I told her my name is Steph because she hadn’t had it written down yet, and the volunteer asked if it was a P-H or F-F and I said, P-H, which prompted Dom to sing the spelling of my name in a cute little tune of S-T-E-P-H. It was really adorable.

I asked if it was strange coming back to North America after so long in Brazil, and she said it was, especially since she had been in the amazon with tribes and small towns, which was extremely different from anything like this, but that it was nice to be back, too. She talked a little about the importance of travel, and that she would really recommend seeing Brazil, because it’s a whole other viewpoint and understanding of ways of doing things.

We started talking a bit about Start the Wave, and I asked about a post she made awhile back about being a no-waste traveler, since I find when I travel is when I become the most wasteful. She gave a few suggestions, like bringing your own bamboo utensils, water bottles, cups, etc. Apparently she had a whole other bag with “all that shit” which was a pain in the butt, but ultimately worthwhile. She said that she found you have to tell people right off the bat that you have your own things, so they won’t give you cups or straws or anything that will be wasted because you’re not using them. We also lamented the North American reliance on plastic water bottles a bit when I mentioned that, from how I had grown up, I used to rely almost entirely on bottled water until I switched to a good water bottle, and that my parents still just keep loads of bottled water in their fridge. She said her family does the same thing and it kind of drives her crazy when she opens the door and finds a whole bunch of bottled water.

I saw that some other people were coming and it was toward the end of the day, too, so I said it was great chatting with her and hopped off.

Sunday, I arrived extremely early for the Wayhaught panel to get good seats, which meant sitting through hours of 80′s music and the Stranger Things panel which came before, but that was actually pretty fun.

I wasn’t initially planning to ask a question, but I had finally come up with something funny that they’d never heard before, and I was like, screw it, and went up. I was the first person in line on the right side, so I was the second to ask a question. I just realized watching the video back that Dom waved at me and said, “Hi Stephanie,” in her sweet little British voice before I even introduced myself, so apparently she remembered and recognized me!? That’s actually really cool and I’m still trying to recover from it. I was super nervous, but they were really funny with their answers and I loved Dom’s fascination with the show. It was such a great atmosphere in there, and so much fun. It was really a bummer when the whole thing was over.

The next thing on my agenda was about an hour later for the duo photo ops. Side note: right before me, someone was doing a photo op with a lightsaber and Kat was playing with it. She was excited as heck that it made noises when she moved it.

I walked in and Kat’s eyes locked on my sweater before she noticed my face. My sweater was an oversized York University shirt, so she exclaimed, “Oh my god, are you Canadian!?” And then she looked up and before I could reply, about a split second later, she mentally face-palmed and was like, “I’m so sorry! We had a whole conversation about this! You’re going to York for grad school! I remember!” I told her it was alright, I wasn’t offended or anything, but she insisted she remembered. So that was pretty nice. Although I normally do fun photo ops, I asked if we could just do a group hug, and they were like, “Of course!” and pulled me in for one.

I’m not even going to pretend like I hadn’t already decided to go back for one last autograph session, but listen. I wasn’t the only one. The girls in line with me also went to every autograph session and they go to every convention with Dom and Kat, so I figured it’s fine. Plus, they were always really happy to see us. I will say, those line ups were really fun. Earpers really know how to make a line a good experience. And Dom’s line was long, so that was a very good thing.

My last meeting with Kat began with another apology for her question during the photo ops. Before I could even put down the picture I wanted her to sign, she looked me right in the eye and said, “I am so sorry, Steph! I do remember we had a whole conversation about York and grad school.” I replied that it’s perfectly okay and that honestly, I didn’t expect her to remember because I know she had met so many people over the weekend that I wouldn’t have been offended if she didn’t. She apologized and insisted again that she absolutely did (and given that she also addressed me by name multiple times without seeing it written down anywhere, I definitely believe her). It was really nice, though, even if it wasn’t necessary!

This was my moment to be a sap, though, and I told her that, although I’m sure she’s heard it a million times, it was really awesome to finally see a lesbian who’s alive and whose whole story doesn’t revolve around coming out and dealing with being gay as if it were the worst thing in the world or some obstacle to overcome or something, because it feels as if that’s all I’ve gotten to see. I told her that I’m only slightly younger than her (and then she asked my birthday, but I’m not sure why) and that it felt like my whole life I hadn’t really gotten to see representation like that. The first time I even heard the word ‘lesbian’ was as a derogatory term when Ellen Degeneres came out, and I was too young to even know what it meant.

She was so kind and listened to every word, and it was really nice. It also spurred a conversation about Ellen, who she exclaimed her love for (we all know, Kat; we all know). We talked about her a bit and I mentioned that I’m also a big fan of Portia de Rossi and she said she’s really great, too, so I asked if she had ever read her book. She answered that she hadn’t and said she would have to add it to her list. I told her it’s about Portia’s eating disorder and her experience coming out as a lesbian, so if she’s in a dark place or just wants something light and fluffy, maybe skip to the epilogue. She seemed really interested in it, though, and asked the title. When I told her, she replied, “Wow, that’s beautiful! I am definitely going to take your recommendation and check it out!” We then took the following selfie. I gave her the direction to do wide-eyed, open-mouthed excitement, and she was like, “Of course!” But you judge if that’s the look she actually made. I love them, though.

From there, it was on to Dom’s line, which, like I said was long. I got into it more than an hour before the convention was supposed to finish, and I was still in the overflow line when 5:00 PM passed. Kat still had a number of people in her line, as well, but not quite as many because she was going faster. Both of them insisted on staying for every fan, though, and even when Dom was being rushed and told to go faster with each of us, she made a point of apologizing that she couldn’t spend longer with a lot of people. It was very sweet. When Kat left, she waved to all of us to say goodbye and thank you for coming and that she hopes to see us at future conventions.

To be honest, since I had already seen her that weekend, had I not already stood in the line for two hours by that point and paid for another autograph/selfie combo while in the line, I would’ve left so Dom could have gone home sooner, but since I had, I just made a point to be fast when I got up there. I pretty much told her that I thought she was spot on about Earpers being an incredible community, like she said in the panel, and thanked her for the weekend. When we had taken the selfie, I asked if I could hug her and she said, “Of course,” so I did, but that was about the extent of the interaction because it was undoubtedly a long day for her and I didn’t want to make it longer.

That’s where my weekend experience ended with them, and honestly, you guys, it was really so awesome. I can’t quite tell you how awesome it was, or how energized I felt leaving. Earpers are amazing. Kat and Dom are incredible.I just love this whole fandom so much I could squeeze you all! But I’m done rambling for now.

#wayhaught #katherine barrell #kat barrell #dominique provost chalkley #wynonna earp cast #emerald city comic con #eccc #long post for ts

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jobethdalloway · 6 years

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CLEXACON RECAP omfg

bc this needs to go somewhere & @mnhooch was kind enough to ask. tried to bold some highlights bc this is basically a long-ass diary entry ramble haha

-the first thing I went to was a panel called “Gaysian: Queer Asian Representation in the Media” with 4 incredibly rad/funny/super smart folks. Really enlightening convo on finding bits and pieces of characters who don’t look like/sound like you to relate to. A highlight: the first question was asking them if there are any queer Asian characters in the media they related to growing up and the last one said “Well, of course, Mulan” and there was like this loud “MMMMMM yeahhhh” that like rippled through the audience. Pressed to clarify which Mulan: “THE CARTOON one, come on”

-the moderator for the LGBTQ Actress panel was hilarious and the women on it were all wonderful so it was great to get to hear from them/learn about them but for me it was ALL ABOUT STEPHANIE BEATRIZ OMMMMMMGGG. Seeing how bubbly she is irl is a good reminder of how solid her performance is as Rosa like dang. Highlight: Stephanie tearing up talking about how much it meant to her to read the dialogue “I’m bisexual,” laid clearly and deliberately, in the script where Rosa come out

-SO MANY STUNNING BUTCHES EVERYWHERE??? omg. also it was just really cool to be in a space with so many women and nb folks. Pretty much every other gay-anything I’ve tried to go to has been 98% cis gay guys so this was like huge in a way I wasn’t anticipating

-OLDER WOMEN WHO’VE BEEN WAITING DECADES FOR GOOD REPRESENTATION, and they were there, and they love the shows we love and it warmed my heart. Also people came from around the globe for this and that was so cool

-AMAZING COSPLAYERS!!! Faves: 2 people dressed as Valkyries, Xena & Gabrielle, and too many gorgeous Alex Danvers(...es) to count

-saw a group of short documentaries, some of which were like ok but there were 2 great ones - butch coyolxauhqui (x) (about a butch learning to love her body with the help of her mother & an Aztec goddess) and a place in the middle (x) (about a Hawaiian child reclaiming traditional notions about gender from an awesome teacher)

-an awesome panel on butch representation in the media! Wish more people could’ve made it to that one. Such an important reminder that there is soooo far to go. Good introspection about internalized lesbophobia (”cured” tomboys in kid movies; butches being the lesbian equivalent of effeminate men where the stereotype is what our internalized phobia wants to get away from instead of embracing as we should)/the fact that it’s a stereotype but still like never seen?? and if it is seen, is usually negative. sigh.

-a panel on sapphic fanfic! Which was actually really inspiring and makes me want to get back into writing. Because I love it. I love writing, you guys.

DAY 2? ALREADY OMG

-started off the day in the way, way back of the auditorium for the Wayhaught panel which was so much fun! Kat & Dom are too adorable for words. Highlight: Kat’s response when asked about her thoughts on things like fanart/fanfic. idk, it was really heartwearming/inspiring. Something along the lines of, “this character may look like me but it’s the spirit of Nicole that matters, and the spirit belongs to all of us, not just me” ergo she sees fanart and sees Nicole, not herself. No single person/entity owns the character. idk that was just a really awesome thing to hear an actor say

-short comedies!! Sadly I had to duck out of this one early, but I loved 2 of the ones I saw here - a USC thesis (trailer) and a hilarious/touching one by a Philippine filmmaker called “salamagan” that unfortunately I can’t find online anywhere

-CHYLER LEIGH. CHYLER LEIGH, HOLY SHIT. This was like. The most moving Q&A I think I’ve ever been able to experience. As I was sitting there, it really registered with me how shitty it felt to have to put up with actresses (not just a certain 2) for years who were ashamed - vocally and specifically - of fans like us. Not for being over-zealous, but being queer and having queer feelings and seeking validation. How shitty it felt to have those actresses make fun of us on talk shows; make us feel gross/stupid/deluded/embarrassing for feeling the way we did & thus perpetuating internalized fears and shame in abundance. I know there are plenty of actresses who are truly great allies and who care about their LGBTQ fans, but Chyler like ... is so engaged?? She was so emotional and you can see that she gets it, she does not take her responsibility lightly and she is wonderful. I was also reminded of the distinction between seeing ourselves/hearing ourselves in media. bc i’m white, I do get to see queer characters who look like me more and more on TV/the movies (certainly more than I was a kid), but Alex is the first(/only?) one who I’ve really heard myself in and that feels significant Highlight: I got to ask her a question! And I was the last one they had time for so phew. Here’s a link to the whole panel, set to start at my question *^^ (but I definitely recommend watching the whole thing the next time you have an hour to spare) (I MADE HER LAUGH. Kinda hard to make out what I said at the beginning, which is, “oh wow, lesbians are short” bc I’m almost 6′ tall and the mic stand was very very low) (I WAS TREMBLING THE WHOLE TIME Y’ALL)

-highlight: a DELIGHTFUL/wonderful feature called “Signature Move” (trailer). You want a good lesbian movie? HERE’S A GOOD LESBIAN MOVIE!!! Nobody dies, no lesbians have to date men, one of the leads is a butch Pakistani-American and the other is Mexican-American and we see their complicated/beautiful relationships with their mothers and it’s FUNNY AS HELL and the leads are HANDSOME AND BEAUTIFUL AS HELL and it needs all the viewers

-highlight: I got to meet @thefootlightclub and @missmaclay after years of being tumblr buddies!! They are both delightful/amazing people and it was so fun to like, fangirl irl with people. And since I went to this con alone, it was really cool to get to talk to other people about it, haha. They introduced me to some awesome peeps including the lovely @amyroot! Thanks y’all for being so friendly and welcoming me in. Also @thefootlightclub and I talked about how June Allyson should totally have a massive lesbian following bc Jo March and that voice, amirite #imright

DAY 3 OH NO THE WEEKEND IS ENDING

-really sad short films today!! Most of them not great, but there was one that wove in Mrs Dalloway and that was pretty cool/I was stunned to see that the cinematographer was a childhood friend of mine! Who is Mormon! And apparently worked on a film about lesbians! He’s a cool guy and that was a fun surprise. One of the films was pretty powerful and gave me AYLT feels (if my epilogue had been depressing AF) (trailer)

-there was a panel called “empowerment through fandom,” which was nice but pretty much wound up being for Earpers. Validating to know one of the panelists was a reporter and it’s like aha okay this stuff is for people in all walks of life/professions/ages. Validating all around.

-I wandered around the vendor booths and picked up a couple of pins/postcards. So many talented people! Probably just as well that I didn’t look too hard at this stuff until the last day bc stuff was sold out and I probably would’ve spent $$ I didn’t have on some of these rad shirts/posters haha

-went to a panel on Queer Films, which I kind of thought would be more of like a presentation/discussion on the history of films but it was more about how to get them made/how hard it is to do that. The panelists and moderator were great, though, and had some great insights. Specifically, the producer of “Elena Undone” (which I admit I could not finish but deeply wanted to like) talked about how you have to do the best with what you have bc sometimes you just can’t raise the money you want/need to get the film you’d really like bc people don’t like to finance lesbian films and that was kind of humbling to keep in mind

-rounded it all out by watching DEBS, obviously one of the greatest films of all time. Highlight: there were a lot of older women at the con, which was really wonderful to see, and 2 of them were sitting behind me. One said to the other, “I wasn’t sure I was going to come to this but these kids downstairs said ‘oh you totally have to go.’ Well, one said, ‘you “totes” have to,’ which I took to mean ‘totally.’” It was great to hear them laughing behind me the whole time! WHAT AN ICONIC MOVIE.

-I got to eat at Cafe Rio which is always ALWAYS A PLUS

Anyway, wow, what a fantastic weekend. I feel so, so lucky that I was able to go and meet so many amazing people and hear so many amazing people and be surrounded by the love. I never ever thought I’d go to a con - not for any condescending reason, just bc I never thought there was enough I’d ever be interested in to make it worth attending. But this? Wow. Tailor-made for me - for so many of us. If I had a wish then it would be that we could all go to Clexacon next year!

/is it next year yet

#clexacon #personal #ramble

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rakuen9 · 7 years

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Some thoughts on wlw in mainstream media and fandom

I’ve noticed a trend going on in certain tv shows and fandoms that is bothering me a bit. So let’s talk Clexa, Sanvers, Cophine and WayHaught.

I have to say that I really like being a part of these fandoms and communities that are so active and produce so much content like fanart, fanfiction and super detailed text posts deconstructing the relationships/characters/motivations. I love you guys and I like enjoying that content but I’ve noticed something that is a bit worrisome.

Fandoms are expanding weakly written characters (or characters that barely get any screentime) and the writers are taking all the credit. .

I’m not gonna say much about Clexa, but I remember the time of the hiatus between seasons 2 and 3 where I read so many things about Lexa and how amazing she is.. things that weren’t in the show .. where I started liking her a lot more because I got to know her because of the fandom expanding her character with theories and backstories. We took a couple of lines about Costia and created this whole story about who she was and who they were together and all we knew about her was that Lexa loved her, she got killed in a political powerplay that failed and that Lexa has avoided getting close to someone because of all of that. But in the show that Costia conversation was a minute long. And then we know the shitshow that happened in the latter half of season 3. The first half was pretty dope in developing Lexa and grounder society and political climate. And they we all know what happened. And this might be odd to say, but the fact that she died doesn’t bother me that much. How she died and how we were lied to, and baited by the shitty PR people is the unforgivable part. How the writers pat themselves on the back for creating those characters and being progressive and then just fucking it up in a way that’s so incredibly idiotic that the backlash came to a total surprise. And then having Clarke hook up with another chick because it’s close enough is so insulting and again idiotic that i can’t even. But what do I know, I stopped watching that shitshow after 3x07.

The same thing almost happened in OB with Cosima being with Shay (because they didn’t book the actress as a regular .. Hmm why does that seem familiar). Delphine is another character who we spent not a lot of time with and that was fine because they wanted to make us wonder if she’s working for the clones or for Dyad. And they did the fake-out death thing (and I’m sure that they didn’t kill her off and dropped the Shay story line because of the backlash). I think that they truly are less moronic than the people behind the loo and they payed a bit more attention to the fandom. And at the moment of me writing this, the day that 5.06 airs, they are trying to fix some of the issues. Delphine being isolated and not trusted by the main characters and her whereabout and general actions. They’re also expanding her character by having her interact with other characters like Mrs. S and PT and Aysha, etc which both furthers the plot and also gives us some information about the type of person she is. (A woman who’s willing to take a lot of shit to get what she wants). As with Lexa, I won’t have minded that much if she was actually going to die (because the universe of those shows is ruthless and dangerous and not everyone survives it and killing a fan favorite is a good way to hammer that shit down) but the framing of it is problematic. If we think about how Paul’s demise was framed (Paul who was in a very similar position to Delphines) how we was framed as a self sacrificing hero whose shitty actions were forgiven and understood completely, as opposed to Delphine who would have died in a garage alone..) But she didn’t die yet, and while I don’t think she will, I know not everyone will survive this season and I’m ready (nope... I’m not) for the heartbreak.

Sanvers is.. ergh.. I like them they’re cute. The later in life storyline rings so true to me as a closeted 25 year old that’s not even funny, but Maggie is barely in it. She is Alex’s GF and we know little else about her. She had a bad coming out story (that was traumatic so of course she might have issues with Valentines day, but Alex is a romantic so she’ll do the bullshit Valentines day thing for Alex). Which is dumb. Love is strong but even with love you still need time to process and get over things. As nice as the scene with them going to a Valentines/prom thinggie is, I’d rather have had them talk about it. A simple “ok, I really to like you a lot, and I know you are a romantic at heart and I know this is important for you, but I can’t do this now. Maybe in the future, but right now, doing the Valentines thing still hurts too much” . How great would that have been? And then we get the thing with her girlfriend that she cheated on, but we didn’t talk about it. Why did she do it? Who was that Maggie that would cheat? Why was she scared? Like I could answer this, I’m sure that I would find nice reasons, but I would have loved if the writers would have given those answers themselves. And they get really intense scenes and short cute scenes, but there’s not a lot of screentime there. And now they’re getting married because why the hell not? Gay people can do that now right? But we won’t have the actress as a regular. Because wlw want representation and a married couple is that right? Why develop Maggie when we can do other things? And the behind the scenes pictures of the premiere is giving me season 3 finale “leaked” photos vibes that it’s seriously making me consider if i want to continue watching the show. I loved Kara but she was treated like shit in season 2 by the writers and I don’t like seeing that in characters I like. So if Kara is poorly written and the wlw relationship underdeveloped and has 2 minutes of screen time why watch it?

HayHaught was similar to Sanvers with the (not so) slow burn and Nicole was a bit isolated but they’re doing a good job in season 2 developing her. And I like the show, but it’’s also campy and while I like that OB and the even the loo had more interesting premises ( I like sci fi so I’m biased). I also like the supernatural demon fighting thing but sci fi is my jam. Anyways I actually like the show, but it’s not really something that I would recommend to my straight friends. OB is obviously the best of the shows that I mentioned ( and I literally sat one of my friends down and made him watch all of season 1 a few wars ago.. it’s fine already made me watch all 3 LotR director cuts in one sitting so.. we’re even). I am really exited about Wynonna Earp though, and I do love it, but I think it’s more of an aquired taste.

Anyways this long and rambly post was supposed to reflect the fact that we are so starved for representation as a community that we praise shows and writers that might not completely deserve it and the frustrating thing about it is that they get to pat themselves on the back for being so progressive and get all this attention that isn’t completely earned. Except Emily Andras she’s pretty awesome ( this season, Nicole is getting developed, the POCs were added to the cast and the te fact that they included the Melanie’s pregnancy into the show is actually pretty progressive and awesome. I’m not a big fan of those stories and I’m still pretty conflicted about Wynonna being pregnant. Mostly because I think that she might have chosen a different way to deal with this. But I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt).

Anyways thanks for reading this rambly post and I hope it made some sense?

#clexa #wayhaught #cophine #sanvers #spoilers

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butheresthething · 7 years

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The Fight Heard ‘Round the Fandom

I watched the big WayHaught fight on Friday like any good shipper, clutching a pillow that I had covering most of my face just barely peeking over the top to see what was happening. And while I may or may not have had to mute parts of the scene the first time I watched it like it was some sort of horror movie, I actually really really love this development both as a character moment for Nicole and for what it might mean for Nicole and Waverly as a couple.

So, let’s start with Nicole. Initially, I was a little confused. In episode two she said she would be by Waverly’s side through her search for answers. She was the one who encouraged her to find confirmation by giving her all those applications. In the very last episode she said she couldn’t lie to Waverly. Throughout the series she’s been the person who wanted Waverly to be who she was, not what people wanted her to be. How could this be the decision she makes?

Fear, uncertainty, and insecurity can make you do funny things, including grasping at parts of yourself that seem uncomplicated and straightforward. Those seemingly unambiguous knowns can feel like a life preserver when things feel out of your control or when the ground is shifting around you. And as much as supportive Nicole is a real part of who she is, we’ve also always known that Nicole sees herself as a protector, especially when it comes to Waverly. We’ve seen both of these parts of Nicole built up over the last season and a half, always being played as two sides of the same coin. But there is a difference between supporting someone and protecting them, and that difference is finally exposing a real human flaw for the lovely Officer Haught. And the truth is they already laid the ground work for this to come to a head. Remember it was Wynonna, not Goononna, that told Nicole she was not her “sister’s keeper.” And of course just because it was wrapped in cruelty it doesn’t mean that there were no grains of truth even to the things Goononna said. They wouldn’t have stung the way they did if there weren’t.

And this is exactly what I love about this development for Nicole. First and for most I’m glad to see Nicole have a real flaw. All of the characters of Wynonna Earp have flaws. And not lip servicey one that might show up in other series. Flaws that aren’t really flaws, that they overcome in an episode, or that some how only show up when the stakes are low. That is not how Wynonna Earp rolls. Nicole up until this point didn’t have any real flaws. Sure, she could be a little judgy here and there but nothing too serious. We start to see that she might have some insecurities (more on that later) but they could all be explained away by the situations she’s in until now. Nicole has been damn near perfect, or at the very least blameless. To really have the same depth and complexity as the rest of the character she needed to not be perfect or have it together all the time. Wynonna Earp is not about idealized characters. They can be aspirational and inspiring, but it’s as much because they are flawed as it is in spite of them. This new wrinkle in Nicole’s character makes her so much more complicated and challenging. So much more grounded. I love that Kat gets to play in that imperfect sandbox now with everyone else.

But the thing I love about this particular flaw is that they decided to explore something that’s an extension of a trait that could be seen as a strength. Nicole’s protective instinct isn’t by definition a negative thing and in fact, it’s been responsible for some of the fandoms favorite moments. Plus Nicole’s identity as protector goes to the core of her character. It informs so much of how she sees herself. It’s why she became a cop. So it’s not going to be as simple as unlearning a bad habit or over coming destructive behavior (not that either of those things is actually simple). And in reality, that’s true of most people. Qualities that serve people well in one moment are their down fall in the next. Most of what makes us who we are is a tangled mess of gray rather than black and white. Often our personal growth is about becoming self-aware enough to know when to push back on our instincts or trust others to help us make the right choice. So yeah, I’m super stoked for this development in Nicole and excited to watch her, and Kat, navigate it.

One last thing I’ll say about this particular flaw they decided to explore with Nicole is that they are doing what they often do so well, subverting tropes and assumptions. There is a long history of the noble selfless protector. It is especially strong in the Western genre. That the show chose to challenge the audience to think about this arc type differently and use what is normally seen as heroic as the basis of a serious breach of trust is incredibly compelling storytelling.

But the question does remain why she did it. Why she did it after promising to help Waverly find answers. I don’t think Nicole was lying when she told Waverly it was because she loved her and wanted to protect her. When she originally brought Waverly the forms and applications I think it’s safe to assume she believed what she told Waverly earlier, when she said it was “crazy” and she was the “Earpiest Earp of them all”. She probably thought this would end with Waverly being reassured of who she was. But I don’t think that is a sufficient answer. Whatever Nicole might believe or tell herself, and despite her genuinely good intentions, her decision not to tell Waverly also came from a place of fear and a little bit of selfishness. When Nicole first said she would be by Waverly’s side as she looked for answers it was at a time when Nicole felt pretty secure in their relationship and her dynamic with Waverly. It was still early days of Gooverly and any changes in Waverly were still subtle and as far as Nicole could tell not particularly scary. The idea of Waverly changing in a way that upset the balance of their relationship was still more or less an abstract idea. But as the season progressed, even if it was because she was possessed, the idea of Waverly changing or out growing Nicole became more tangible. Kat has said often in interviews that part of Nicole’s interpretation of what was going on was worry that Waverly was having second thoughts and pulling away from her. Add to that Goononna poking at all of Nicole’s insecurities, by the time Waverly’s DNA test comes you have a Nicole who’s in a completely different head space. She just got Waverly back, just reclaimed this thing that she thought might be slipping away from her. Knowing how much this news would impact Waverly, it’s no wonder she’s scared. And as already discussed, in those moments people sometimes grasp at what makes sense and what feels safe.

Nicole is not only protective of Waverly, she’s protective of what they have and in some ways wants to freeze it in time. Also, don’t forget so much of Nicole’s world is wrapped up in Waverly. Yes, she knows that Nedley wants her to be Sheriff some day and feels better about her career, but she is still the outsider from the big city and most of her social connections in Purgatory are in some way connected to Waverly. That has to make it even scarier. They hint at these insecurities again right before Waverly discovers the DNA results with the beat of jealousy Nicole shows when Rosita calls Waverly Waves. Which of course was just after Nicole finished telling Waverly to giver Rosita a chance. I don’t believe for a second that Nicole felt threatened romantically by Rosita, I think she felt threatened by the intrusion and fearful that this unknown variable might upset what she just got back and sees as a little fragile right now.

I like to think that Nicole would have eventually made the right decision, maybe after thinking more about her conversation with Waverly at Shorty’s. We’ll never know for sure, but there is one thing that suggests she was working her way there. The one part of all of this that still seems to be out of character for Nicole was that none of what she did was very smart, and we all know Nicole is a smart one. The initial decision not to tell Waverly about the results, despite the fact that Waverly would eventually start wondering about it, can be chalked up to panic. But carrying the results in her bag? That’s a little harder to square. Maybe it was just a necessary plot device, but I’m going to choose to believe that she brought the results with her because she knew she couldn’t keep lying to Waverly and was struggling with her decision.

None of this sounds like good news for WayHaught, right? We left them in a pretty bad place. Trust was broken and broken in a way that Waverly never expected from Nicole, which makes it all the more devastating. But bear with me on this, I think this is an opportunity for them because beneath the surface of their adorable relationship there were some dynamics developing that needed recalibration if their relationship was going to survive & have the resiliency it needs to remain healthy. There are two related dynamics that have developed between Waverly & Nicole that could be dangerous to their relationship if left unchecked. The first, of course, as already noted, is Nicole as protector and Waverly as the protected. Early on that was one of the appealing parts of their dynamic. Waverly had someone she knew would always have her back and stick up for her which is undeniably a good thing. We all saw how impressed Waverly was when Nicole punched Champ, and who didn’t feel a little pinch of “Awwww” when Nicole put her hand on Gooverly thinking she was protecting Waverly from a possessed Wynonna even though we knew what was really happening. But the thing about being a protector is that taken too far it becomes patronizing and robs people of their agency. As Waverly points out, she is not a child and while Nicole might have had the best of intentions, her actions were not exactly respectful. What we want for Nicole and Waverly is for them to be equal partners, and to really do that Nicole can’t be Waverly’s guardian because that is by definition not a relationship of parity. Instead of using her courage to try and keep Waverly from getting hurt she needs to refocus that courage to help her face her own fears so she can be the support Waverly needs to continue growing as an individual.

It isn’t just about shifting the dynamic to better serve Waverly though. This is also about what Nicole needs. The dynamic between Nicole and Waverly has always felt very Waverly centric. They spend a lot of time attending to Waverly’s needs (although in the Purgatory Case Files there have been a few video chats that suggest support in the relationship is a little more of a two-way street off screen). Within the show itself, the closest we get to Nicole expressing what she needs from Waverly is after Waverly is de-gooed and she asks what was real and what wasn’t. But this is more of a tentative first step to expressing her own needs and concerns. Nicole’s selflessness might even be contributing to her insecurities (which of course ironically leads to a sort of selfish decision). Nicole needs to be able to say how things impact her and express her fear about what all these changes for and in Waverly mean for their relationship. For them to thrive there has to be space for Nicole’s vulnerabilities. It can’t alway be about supporting Waverly. Obviously, right now Waverly is the one most impacted by what’s happening and I’m not suggesting Nicole should make it about her. That would be equally unhelpful. But she and Waverly are in a relationship and denying that she is affected by what’s happening to Waverly is a recipe for disaster and at some point, they’ll need to talk about that to. It is impossible for them to grow as a couple if Nicole feels like their relationship is always in a precarious or delicate state because of what Waverly is dealing with.

But this is why this fight is so important. Conflict is not inherently a bad thing. In real life and in fictional stories healthy conflict is a path to character and relationship growth. It’s true that conflict can break bonds but it can also make them stronger. It’s not the fact of a conflict itself that determines whether you come out with a stronger bond or whether it breaks. It’s whether you respond with honesty and compassion, whether the relationship the conflict is happening in is worth fighting for and engaging in really difficult uncomfortable conversations. So the real question is, are Waverly and Nicole willing to take that emotional risk for each other and for the relationship they could have. I think we all believe they are. They are both characters of integrity, sincerity, and yes, courage, who know that what they have with each other is different than anything they had before. So however hard it was to see these two characters heartbroken, whatever difficult path they have to go down to come through this, I’m excited for it. I am excited to see them reconcile but I am also excited to see how things change as a result.

#wynonna earp #waverly earp #nicole haught #wayhaught

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girls-are-fucking-pretty · 7 years

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1. describe your idea of a perfect date ⁃ mm i haven't put too much thought into this, but I think it would be really cute to take a girl to the beach in the evening, and then buy her gelato, and theennn after we'd walked a bit we would like lay back on the sand by a fire pit or somethin, and watch the moon and the stars and talk about life and trivial shit2. whats your “type” ⁃ um I always find myself hella attracted to people with short hair, especially if it's dyed some crazy color. Idky but that seems to be more successful at getting my attention. Also if you have freckles,,, or tattoos oml. But I find all kinds of people attractive, and I would never limit myself in that department:)3. do you want kids? ⁃ One or two probably. But I wanna make sure I take care of myself and do all the things I can do in my youth before I commit myself to something like a family.4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth? ⁃ Honestly, I love the idea of adoption, so I'd probably do that with one of the kids, but then I also think I'd wanna experience childbirth or have a child with some of my dna in them. So I guess adoption and artificial insemination are what I'm looking at 5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on ⁃ mm well I've only been on like three dates ever, but I'd have to say the first one I've ever been on was the cutest. We went to kerbey lane (which is like a cafe that serves pancakes at night; it's fuckin awesome), and we basically opened up to each other about how much we'd stalked each other in the halls for like the past year (she was a senior, I was a sophomore, so we didn't share any classes). We got to know each other a bit, and then we went and got frozen yogurt. I was a nervous, awkward mess throughout the entire thing, but she was really sweet and comforting about it, so I still felt like. Special:). It was nice 6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?) ⁃ Um. I would need experience having sex to describe my first experience having sex 😂 NEXT QUESTIOOOON, BEFORE THE LONELINESS HAS TIME TO SET IN7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay? ⁃ oh definitely a night time gay. That's the best time to stalk my prey, ya know? How tf a bitch gon catch her hoes in the daylight?(see it's funny because I'm forever alone)8. opinion on nap dates? ⁃ you mean like a date where all you do is sleep and cuddle???!!! UMTHAT SOUNDSFUCKIN AWESOMEBitch I need to go on nap dates more often with myself thooWith another person tho? AMAZING9. opinion on brown eyes? ⁃ Gorgeous af. Whenever the light hits them, they turn gold or like a deep red, and sometimes they have a bit of green in them, and idk I think they're beautiful as helll. They also have this really warm, inviting quality to them.10. dog gay or cat gay? ⁃ Doggo gay. Their only desire in the entire world is to make you happy, and honestly I love dogs so much more than people because they have the purest, most beautiful and loving souls on the planet. Although I wouldn't be opposed to cats 🤷‍♀️. I've never owned one before, but I think they're fucking cute, and also me as fuck. Who knows? we could get along.11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles? ⁃ Hell yeah. Why not?12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone ⁃ If they're not interested in you, your family, how your day went, your wellbeing. . . Basically I want someone to care about me as a person. I don't want to date, or really even be friends with, someone who only likes to talk to me because I'll listen to all their problems and care about them unconditionally, without really showing the same type of (or any) interest in me.13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one? ⁃ Lmao I've always known I was into girls, but I didn't know what a lesbian was until I was like in 4th or 5th grade. So once I figured that out, I was kinda just like "oh shit dat me", and uhm didn't really have preconceptions of what lgbt people were before I found out I was one. But I heard people talk about it being immoral a lot, and I didn't understand why, so I used to have this really dumb obsession with looking up YouTube videos of religious people debating activists and scientists about the morality of sexuality. And it would make me so upset, because I would always feel so frustrated and hopeless afterwards. I felt like I needed to change just so I could be appreciated and live a normal life. And I felt so alone, because as far as I knew, I was the only lesbian in my vicinity, and I couldn't talk to anyone about it. So those were my feelings about being gay in the beginning 😂 not good14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self-You're gonna try to like guys in sixth grade. Don't, it's a waste of your fuckin time15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders? ⁃ lmao not applicable ✌️ 16. who is an ex you regret? ⁃ Uhm if you're only counting ex girlfriends, I've had none of those, soooo 😂 But I've had a lot of "things" where I opened up a lot to the other person because I have a severe condition known as U-Haul Lesbo™, and I regret pretty much all of those because I ended up caring a hell of a lot more about them than they did me, and it was really just a waste of my fuckin time. Not to say it wasn't my fault that I got so attached tho; I'm just a hella clingy bitch, and it comes back to bite me. But idk they also helped me grow a bit, so I guess that's good? I don't let people step on me as much?17. night club gay or cafe gay? ⁃ Night club gay all the way, nnts nnts nnts nnts18. who is one person you would “go straight” for ⁃ UHM EW. NO ONE. NEVER. Penii are gross af19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay? ⁃ video game gaaaaaayyyyyy SO HARD. I used to read a lot of books, but school has kind of ruined that fun hobby for me, plus I can't stay awake whenever I read anymore 😂 my attention span has shrunk to the size of an apple seed thank you v much20. favourite gay ship (canon or not) ⁃ Wayhaught, and I haven't even watched Winonna Earp. That's how much I ship it.21. favourite gay youtuber ⁃ Ari Fitz probably. She fine as hellChanging my answer to question 1 to Ari Fitz 👌 22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person? ⁃ I've never asked out anyone so, nope. I have had a couple straight crushes (sexualities pending, some of them), but gay people are infinitely more attractive imo 😂 23. have you ever been in love? ⁃ I thought maybe a couple of times, but nah24. have you ever been heartbroken? ⁃ Yeah, but who hasn't? 🤷‍♀️ that's just how the ball rolls25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone ⁃ If I find myself wanting to be held by them or eaten out by them or kissed by them or whatever, then logically they'd have to be . . . Not me. So I guess that's how I determine whether i want to be them or be with them. It depends on whether I see them as competition or game. 26. favourite lgb musician/band ⁃ Mm I don't know of many, but Hayley kiyoko 👌 Also Halsey's a gay too, right ? Idk, but I also really like her stuff:)27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays ⁃ Have patience. You live in a world where fellow gays are relatively few and far between, so it may take a while before you can really put yourself out there. Also your parents most likely will not understand what it means to be gay, nor will they probably treat you like they should in the beginning. Have patience with them, and remind them to treat you in the ways you want to be treated (if it's safe). Eventually, it will be okay when you leave to find your own way in the world and get in touch with your fellow gays, and won't have to suppress your gay any longer :). Or that's what I tell myself lol, I have yet to actually leave the nest 28. are you out? if so how did you come out ⁃ I'm out to my parents, my sister, anyone who asks, anyone who figures it out, and anyone I'm interested in. I don't really "come out" to people, because I don't typically feel like that's something they need to know about me. Unless they're curious. Or cute. Or tryna hit me up and they got a dick. But yeh, I was forcefully removed from the closet when my parents found out I had a girl in middle school 😂. I had this chick in my phone as "*insert name here*

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haught0pocket · 7 years

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Misfits. Partners. Family.

Wynonna Earp / Wayhaught Fanfic.

There’s a serial killer on the prowl in Purgatory... And a tall, attractive red-head is joining to team to help find him...

If a person was asked to point to Purgatory on a map, chances are, they'd have no idea the place even existed. It does. It was the final town that Wyatt Earp called his home. It's small, a little crazy, but it's definitely real. And so are the people in it. A few are just beginning to trickle into their day jobs.

Wynonna Earp. Criminal profiler, damn good one, but a genuine "don't give a fuck" attitude if there ever was one. Woman let glares and pointed glances roll off her dusty leather jacket like oil, always piercing back with a blue-eyed glare of her own and a middle finger. Whiskey in donuts were usually in tow. And a funny, dirty, (or both) quip right behind. Not much got to this woman. When it did, she was quick to find some kind of alcohol to make herself forget it.

Xavier Dolls. Never was there a man more dedicated to finding the truth of a matter, Purgatory’s finest homicide detective. And never was there a man who felt it was his sole purpose in life to remain completely emotionless. At least, that's what Wynonna said about him. But, in truth, the man was a fiercely dedicated detective, and friend. He rarely let his emotions show, even in a small smile. But if anyone laid a hand on his "family", he'd kill them without a second thought.

Waverly Earp. A ray of sunshine wrapped in small human form. The smartest person in the entire town, and everyone knew it. While she was the town sweetheart, she was a bit of a conundrum to quite a few. Her knowledge in trending shoes and nail polish was only rivaled by her knowledge of science, language and history. She knew more languages than most knew single words. And she was damn proud of it. She always felt she had something to prove, and her more than impressive IQ made her feel like she'd done just that. Her official title was forensic anthropologist, though she'd studied many other areas in forensic science.

And so these three misfits, yet partners and family, trudged through the hallways of Purgatory's Police Department, again, to gather for important news from Dolls. As soon as they'd plopped in chairs around a table, they awaited his speech.

“Another woman's gone missing. Jennifer Burk. This is the fourth woman in the last month, I think it's correct to assume we have a serial killer on our hands, especially considering how we've found the others. Let's find her before she ends up like them.” Dolls tossed folders onto the table for each of the Earp sisters, all of the information on the woman inside.

“Lemme guess, no connections with the other victims other than the fact that she's a woman? I think it's also safe to assume some lady offended this guy, and now he hates them all… Yeah, well, we hate you too, buddy.” Wynonna Earp had a way of getting into their perp’s mind.

“Alright, so I told you I was thinking about bringing in someone else. We need more hands. And a friend just moved into town, I trained her when I was still teaching. She's one of the best. She'll be here any minute.”

“Wait, friend? You have friends?” Waverly looked up from her folder questioningly at Dolls, quite genuinely confused at the prospect of the man having real friends.

“No, we're his only friends. Hey did you ever find the meaning of that symbol carved into the 3rd vic?” Wynonna countered.

“Um, yes! I'll be right back.” As Waverly walked to the back of the room, scouring a bookshelf, there was a knock on the door. Dolls opened it and let in a tall, red headed woman. “Wynonna Earp, this is Detective Nicole Haught. She just moved here and she'll be working with us.”

“Put ‘er there.” Wynonna slapped her hand in the other woman's. “Haught, huh? That's gunna be fun…” “Nice to meet you, too.” Nicole replied, an unsure look on her face. Just then Waverly returned to the table with a stack of books, staring intently into one of them. “Okay, so the reason it took me so long to figure out the symbol was because it's actually not one, it's two different symbols-“ “Babygirl.” Wynonna interrupted Waverly, motioned her head at the newest person in the office when her sister looked up from her books.

“Oh! Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I just, when I start talking about symbols, there's no stopping me!” Nicole Haught watched as Waverly Earp babbled about symbols, a giant grin on her face, eyes scrunched into a crescent moon shape from the size of her smile, and she was certain she was looking at the most beautiful, fascinating person she'd ever know.

“That's alright! Nicole, Nicole Haught. Nice to meet you, Waverly, right?” She stuck her hand out to shake the smaller woman's. “Oh, God! Yes! Agh, sorry, I'm all over the place. Yes, Waverly Earp.” “Pleasure to meet you, Waverly.”

She took the tall detective’s hand in her own, and a strange feeling rippled trough her hand, up her arm, into her heart. This stranger’s hand felt good in her own, in fact, amazing. Not just physically, but something else Waverly couldn't quite put her finger on. The loss of knowledge was troublesome to her, so she brushed the feeling aside.

“Um, I'm sorry detective-“ “Please, Nicole.” The red head smiled back at Waverly. “Right, Nicole. So I was just about to tell them the meaning of a symbol that was carved on one of the women. Weird invitation, but, you might want to hear this.” "No, you're right. I do. Please, continue!" Nicole took an empty seat. Waverly opened a couple of books she had brought to the table.

"So, this the first woman that's he's marked like this. I don't know why, Wynonna, you'll have to figure that one out. It took me a little longer than usual to figure this out, because it's actually two symbols. And, they're from entirely separate cultures. This one," Waverly drew a stick figure like drawing, "is the wiccan symbol for mother. And this one," she drew another picture, this time two arrows, one on top of the other, pointing in different directions, "is a Native American symbol. It means war. He carved one on top of the other."

"Sounds like he's declaring war to me," Nicole offered. A twisted look on her face, Wynonna was leaning back in her chair, right leg crossed in a manly fashion over the left. She suddenly stood up, went to the magnetic whiteboard with photos and evidence all over, and pulled a rather grotesque picture down. She plopped down on her seat, compared the photo with the drawings. All sat in silence, waiting for her input. She was the one who let the demons into her brain, who got into theirs'. She was the one who somehow found motive in nonsensical madness.

"It doesn't make sense..." She muttered, after a few moments of silence. No response. "This-" She pointed to the photo she'd taken down, mangled limbs and body parts, contorted, posed, to look like a modern day art sculpture, "This is like a demonic tapestry from a fucking art show. It's... specific, intentional. It's there because he wants everyone to see what he can do. But this-" she pointed to the symbols, "it's messy, it has nothing to do with art, or abilities. He is declaring war." She looked over at Nicole. "But those two motives... they don't go together. Not here, not like this.”

Leaning back in his chair, releasing a deep sigh, Dolls spoke, "so what does this mean for us?"

"One of two things. Either we have two perps with crazy different agendas, or one with... crazy voices in his head..." Wynonna responded, eyes still darting back and forth between the pictures.

"If you had to guess make an educated guess, which one do you think it is?" Nicole posed, leaning forward on her elbows.

Wynonna gave her tight-lipped face, "That is my educated guess, newbie."

"Earp!" Dolls reprimanded the elder of the Earp sisters.

Wynonna raised her hands in self-defense mode, "Fine! If I had to choose one... I mean I don't think an "artistic" serial killer would let anyone help them, let alone make their own mark on the body. But the two agendas... I can't reconcile them unless he's hearing voices. Oh, and the mother symbol, definitely confirms my theory that this is a momma issue. Another thing- why wait until now to start carving symbols that basically declare war? It's like the agendas in his head are at war with each other…"

Curious, Nicole spoke, "What else is there to the mother theory?" Waverly chimed in, "Well, none of the women have been raped, or shown any signs of sexual assault, but all of them have had their reproductive organs completely removed." "Dude. Did you not read any of this before you came in here?" Wynonna asked Nicole witheringly. "EARP." Dolls interrupted before Nicole had a chance to answer. "I called her in here before she had the chance, so no, she didn't. As soon as I found out about vic number 4, I called you all in. Now lay off Detective Haught, got it?" Wynonna glared at Dolls before giving an answer. "Fine. But she's on the donut rotation." With that, she picked up the photos and went to her office, soon followed by Dolls heading to his own.

Waverly and Nicole sat in silence, both aware of the tense feeling in the air. Waverly's heart was pounding, and she had no idea why. Nicole's heart was pounding as well, but she knew exactly why, and had a better idea of how to keep calm in front of a beautiful woman. She tried to start casual conversation. "Um, what's the donut rotation?" Nicole looked confusedly at Waverly, who rolled her eyes at her sister's words. "The station always has donuts, but they never have powdered ones. Wynonna made a schedule for us to bring powdered donuts. So, congratulations, I guess? You're on the powdered donut schedule."

"Ooo-kay. So when do I need to bring these donuts?" "Oh, she'll let know. Actually, she'll probably be back in a couple minutes with a little printed schedule for you." Waverly answered casually, turning to place books back on the bookshelf. "Can I ask you question?" Nicole ventured. "Yeah, sure!" "So, is she always that..." The older woman was searching for the right word. "Bitchy? Eh. She's frustrated right now, this perp is in her brain. She gets that way, with the really bad ones. I don't blame her..." "No, you're right. It's a hard job. Getting inside a killer’s brain. Takes a lot of empathy. Dolls said she's good at it.”

Just then, Wynonna strode back into the room, powdered donut in one hard, freshly printed paper in the other. She slapped it down in front of Nicole. “Haught-sauce.” Nicole was slightly impressed, usually people waited to get to know her before throwing out the puns. “Donut schedule. You miss a day, you buy ‘em for a week. Wave,” she pointed to her sister, “your turn to get Wills. Gus has that appointment, remember?” Waverly glanced at her watch. “Yeah, I'll leave in like, 10 minutes.” It wasn't any of her business, and she knew it, but she still wanted to ask. As soon as Wynonna left the room, Nicole turned back to Waverly. “Who's Wills?”

“Oh, our nephew. William.” She pulled out her phone and showed Nicole a photo of a young boy. Handsome, hazel crescent-moon eyes, brunette hair, looked a lot like Waverly. Nicole could tell by the fact that she hadn't offered any more information than the simple fact that he was her nephew that she shouldn't ask too personal questions about him. “He's adorable. How old?” Waverly groaned. “Ugh, right? He's 4. I can never say no. I swear he'll be the death of me. And Wynonna. Pretty sure he is her only soft side. Well, I'm going to clean up my things, and I gotta head out. I'll see you tomorrow!”

Nicole was certain that Waverly was handling this much better than she was at this point. Her stomach was in a million knots. “Right, lookin forward to workin with you, Waverly Earp.” And she threw the smaller woman an enormous dimpled grin that threw her completely off guard, and she still couldn't figure out why. No, Waverly was not handling this any better.

Continued HERE, on ao3

#wayhaught #wayhaught fanfic #wynonna earp #fanfic #wayhaught fic #nicole haught #waverly earp #xavier dolls #doc holliday

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