#which is just. *chef's kiss chef's kiss chef's kiss a very violent chef's kiss* for me)

[burnin-hot]

Man, you people are really liking thay Stridercest post, huh.

#local arson baby rants #thanks but also oh wow #sorry i dont have anything else 😔 #the one other stridercest thing i have #is this concept of 'bro strider teaches dave abt sex. like. hands-on' #(which already is a fic btw. dont remember what its called but its on ao3 w/ trans!bro getting knocked up by dave. #which is just. *chef's kiss chef's kiss chef's kiss a very violent chef's kiss* for me) #and also an au where bro is actually a somewhat decent guy #and the parts where he gets extremely violent n abusive r actually uh caliborn directly controlling him? #ik ik 'stop trying to excuse his actions' #im not man im just. a sucker for father/elder brother figures and want happy striders 😔

[wordstome]

Last night I did what I always do when I can’t fall asleep: think about fictional men. Here’s a list of wonderful stories written by incredibly talented people who have helped me think about fictional men by providing the most delicious playgrounds.

In the interest of keeping my recommendations brief, I'm going to talk about what I liked about the fic instead of summarizing what it's about. To know what it's actually about you're just gonna have to click through and read the fic <3

(and just in case anybody's gotten lost, this is all COD, mostly modern MW)

✦ complete ║ ➠ ongoing

König

✦Just Friends by @kneelingshadowsalome Salome is so good at capturing a very unique interplay between König’s social awkwardness and his deep, dark, nasty inclinations. He’s so feral and enjoyable to read, and the sheer force of his desire for Engel is downright intoxicating. I find it difficult to describe how much of an impact Just Friends has had on me and my portrayal of König, to be honest. There's a reason why three of Salome's fics are on this rec list.

✦Fatum Nos Iungebit by kneelingshadowsalome Five words. König with his cock out. That's it. Okay, but in all seriousness, I love his character applied to this setting. All the raw visceral violence a König could ever want, a pretty little lady in his bed—he's so boyish and happy in this au it brings me such joy. The way their relationship between him and Fee develops is so natural and so sweet. Please for the love of God read this.

➠Cat/Mouse/Den by @papaver-decervicatus The chase. The pursuit. The adrenaline when Mouse dances out of König's reach once more. I'm a little biased because I adore Julius and Jenny (I could call her Lucretia but the double J names make me giggle) as ocs already, but CMD is so, so well written. The tension, the flirting, the scene where he catches her falling out of the tree?! As I said in a reblog, I shrieked. You know when you're reading something that's so good you want to bite down on it and shake like a dog with a toy? (No? Just me?) That's how I feel about CMD.

➠Anything by @darklordofthesimp Anything, in only 7 chapters (they are hefty, don’t get me wrong), has turned König and Birdy’s dynamic from “THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS IRREVERSIBLY SCARRED MY BODY AND MY BRAIN, AND I CANNOT TRUST HIM” to “these two are going to get married someday”. (author if you’re reading this, I say that not as an expectation or prediction, but as a vibe reading.) This one is for the hurt/comfort girlies. Also, shoutout to all the other stories set in the Anything-verse. Sunshine and Ghost are just soooo *grips my hand in a fist so hard it shakes*

➠If you need to be mean by @gremlingottoosilly This mostly serves as a blanket recommendation for all of Gremlin’s fics. I found If you need to be mean, and then visiting Gremlin’s author page was like opening a treasure chest. Want to be König’s pampered, (unwilling) little housewife? That’s If you need to be mean. Want a harem fic with almost all of the COD MW men? Gremlin has two, both with their own little spin to keep it fun. Do you want König to keep you in his basement or hunt you down as a serial killer? Gremlin's got it. Monsterfucker? Gremlin has that too. Special shoutout goes to 1295 kilometers. I think about fucking König on a train a lot now.

➠Break my mind by @kaiasdevotion (kaiasown on ao3) There’s no way around this. This fic has the most unhinged, kinky, downright dangerous smut I’ve read in the cod fandom so far (positive). Just Friends König is the metric by which I judge all other Königs’ nastiness, and Break my mind König is tipping so hard on the “unhinged horny violent freak (affectionate)” end of the scale he’s about to fall off. I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I've developed a taste for writing/reading from König's perspective, and he's so chillingly deranged in the most controlled way possible during the chapters from his pov. Incredible writing. Chefs kiss.

✦Experimental by @uhohdad (surgeoninspace on ao3) Alright, enough of just König being nasty. He is still nasty in this one, but he’s not the only one who gets to have a little fun and be a total creep. Our little scientist here is a grade A pervert, and I was delighted the whole way through. The most important thing I need in a fic is suspension of disbelief, and Experimental takes an unrealistic, maybe a little bit silly situation and makes it so believable. Everybody reacts the way you would expect them to, even if the scenario they're in is A Lot.

➠Little Mouse and Rotes Madchen by @sprout-fics I'm combining the recommendation for these two because while they are both very much distinct, unique fics, I love them the same way. Sprout is such an engaging writer, and the internal dialogue of her characters is so well done. It reveals their personality, motivations, and internal conflicts without being overly expository. Do you guys remember that post I put on the König bible about instant obsession? It's this inexorable attraction borne from obsession that sticks me to Little Mouse like a glue trap. (Is that too morbid?)

✦Hot in Sarajevo by @50cal-fullauto Rags' König characterization post is on my Königcore bible, for very good reason. They get it. König is a feral dog forced to live as a man and loves like a total maniac, emotionally and sexually. I marked Hot in Sarajevo as complete but I don't know how many parts there are going to be, and frankly, I do want more. However, if you're going to only read one part (which. why would you do that??? read both.) I recommend the second part. I want to write love like that. Goddamn.

Ghost

Yeah, this list is a little bare bones right now. I'm gonna get back to it, I promise.

✦Anhedonia by kneelingshadowsalome The way. Salome takes the "I would take a bullet for him but he's so cold to me" premise and then flips it entirely on its head for the second part is so important to me. The way Simon craves the reader is like human catnip. I reread this fic all the time.

Keegan

✦For the Weak and Weary by @halcyone-of-the-sea Read this if you want to believe in true love. That's all. Go on now.

Multiple

✦Easy by @danibee33 When people say "I wish this were a book!" about fanfiction, they usually mean it in a "this is good enough to be published by the traditional publishing industry" way. When I say I want Easy (and Diablesa) to be a book, I mean it in a "I want to get this story bound in a beautiful ass cover and keep it on a shelf so I can take it down and reread it whenever I want" way. I don't want the traditional publishing industry to get their claws in this, because it's perfect as it is. This fic is so wild and fun, and the character moments are so special and well done. Do yourself a favor and savor this one.

➠@ghouljams's entire blog [masterlist] "What do you mean someone's entire blog" YOU HEARD ME. Those aus are some good shit. Good characterization, delicious premises, love the group effort of it all. To absolutely nobody's surprise, my favorite couple is König and Bee from the cowboy au (ditzy but well-meaning and competent in her own way woman x big strong man who is obsessed with her and maybe also creeping on her, my beloved), but I also have a fondness for Ghost and Die from demon darlings au. Trust me on this one. Dig into those masterlists babey.

#ficrec #cod #mw2 #cod mw2 #cod ghosts #König #König cod #konig cod #König x reader #konig x reader #simon ghost riley #keegan p russ #keegan russ #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #keegan x reader #keegan russ x reader #navigation: fic recs

[eldritch-spouse]

Oh no, I drank a mysterious potion out of curiosity and now I'm ten inches tall. What will the clergy boys do?

You're tiny 🤏

Morell is so scared you're going to like... Fall into one of his pots and end up boiled to death. Nuh huh, you're staying in his smock's pocket. Or in his scarf. He doesn't want you running lose around his kitchen, you'll get cut, you'll get stomped, not happening. On the other hand, the chef would like some distance, because it would be so easy to just gobble you up and his intrusive thoughts are being merciless right now.

Gallon has a whole lot of fun pretending to dip you into drinks. You're only allowed to walk around the counter if you stick right in front of him. Otherwise he'll make a tendril just to hold you throughout the day. He's absolutely still going to try to trap you inside himself. It's much easier now! Although he doesn't want you to panic due to the size difference.

Santi is drooling. Oh sweet minx, you're going all sorts of ways. Santi's going to try to shove you into his slit, and it's not a bright idea. He wants you to hug his cock and kiss it and talk about how big he is. He wants to cum on you just to watch it drip off your body like hot wax. Santi needs to eat you out and stick your entire lower body in his mouth. He's so ready to have you grind on his finger, just drunk off the possibilities.

Grimbly... Is panicking. He's supposed to be the small one! Oh no. Everyone's going to try to take you away from him now that you're doll sized!! Grimbly tells you to hold onto his horns while he works, hissing violently whenever anyone gets too close and generally avoiding conversation with clients- Which is uncharacteristic. Maybe the bat likes being able to have you all to himself without effort, but it's not meant to be this way.

Nebul is perplexed. This will require some adaptation, for sure. Small as you are, he might as well get a container for you. A cage? No, don't look at him like that, he'll furnish it accordingly. Purpur is not allowed to touch you because he will crush you accidentally and cry himself to death. The wraith has to be much much lighter with punishments, but loves making you put on a tiny show for him while he strokes himself off. You're adorable.

Patches is more annoyed than anything. You can't just drink anything you find, are you nuts?! Stay on his desk, please. The dullahan unfortunately gets very distracted from his work and makes several breaks just to find an excuse to hold you, sometimes brushing pens against you, dislodging your clothes, tipping you over just so he can see your undies- Stitches has no hesitation in throwing you into his pants.

Vinnel is having such a grand old time! Ooooh boy, where's he going to put his dolly next? Oh, how about this very tall shelf. Sheesh poppet, how will make it down now, hm? He throws you in the air a little, only to catch you and do it again. You're stroked and pressed to orgasm several times until you've soaked his hand in your fluids, until you're crying for him to stop, and he's palming himself like a mutt to the show. You've also been sentenced to dress up dolly time forever now.

Belo is consumed by worry. Dear Krulu, you're so fragile like this! He needs to keep you safe at all times. Hold onto his head, his halo, please just don't let go of him, you can get lost or swiped or kicked and Belo wouldn't forgive himself if something happened to you. He wants to cut food into tiny pieces just so he can watch you try to chomp at it with his big old lavender eyes.

Sybastian puts you in his mouth. Immediately. No thoughts no questions just mouf. It's not exactly the best scent in the world, but you're very safe there, he won't swallow you. The mimiclings are thrilled about this and they will carry you everywhere behind Syb when he can't hold you himself. When alone, he's still going to lick you all over and try to make you grind on his tongue.

Fank-e squeals so high he breaks his voice box and probably deafens you a little. You're SO CUTE. Do a little dance! For him, please? You're staying in his torn up top the whole day while he speeds around, occasionally stopping to pet you, give you sips from drinks and presenting you to everyone he knows like a wet cat. Haha, look at my meow meow- He will still pin you on his palm and vibrate his thumb until you're squeaking and squealing.

Krulu sighs. You're already so small, this is just added insult. Fortunately, or unfortunately, you're sentenced to the role of a shoulder corvid, hanging off the protrusions near his clavicles or passed around between six hands like a toy. You're pretty useless at this size, so he makes sure that you stay within a safe range from him. The higher will shrink meals and pretend to be annoyed, but in reality, his lower eye is constantly darting to you and his lips twitch up sometimes. Precious.

#Morell oc #Gallon oc #Vinnel oc #Nebul oc #Belo oc #Patches oc #Santi oc #Grimbly oc #Sybastian oc #Fank-e oc

[underratedmurder]

Richie Jerimovich/Reader "I Would Like a Blanket Please" (Part 1/2)

Reader works at The Beef and is having some housing/financial troubles, Richie offers his apartment as a place to stay! <3

Stuff in this: Soft Richie, Reader is kind of awkward, Soooo many hands on shoulders, They are so sweet and tender with each other, They both know how much the other one is hurting, They are each others comfort person!!! They have some sexual tension, Carmy is totally onto them

Stuff that will be in part two (if you don't want spoilers then just skip past this): Chicken nuggets (hell yeah), Richie when he was in college <3, Reader sleeps on his sofa which is much nicer than his twin bed?, Sharing blankets, Intense cuddling, The softest kisses

I know its been more than a week since my last update I am sorry dear friends, but trust I will deliver !!! Second part should be up tomorrow night or Monday.

Please enjoy, and leave a comment or like if you want to see more/have any requests !

____________

You were sitting on the ground of the walk-in, fingers getting colder, digging into the sleeves of your thick knit sweater. The one Richie called you crazy for wearing in the kitchen, but also one of the last pieces of physical comfort you had left.

Life was… rough, and you were currently struggling to find housing. You just spent your last bit of money on last night's stay in a motel room downtown. You were hoping you could pull through and figure something out by the end of the day… but that time was now, and you had nothing. 

You tried to collect your thoughts, breathing hard and freaking out a little bit. Your nerves were getting the better of you, and you had been nothing but filled with tension the whole day. 

You breathed in and out, slowly letting your body relax, and your fingers loosen their grip. You looked at the ground intensely, almost studying it, to remind yourself where you were. And to remember that the world wasn’t actually ending, it was just your life! Just yours! 

Don’t worry! At least the restaurant is okay!

Even that was an overstatement.

You felt yourself finally come back to the moment.

“Alright well just don’t put it on the stove again Fak! It’s not fuckin rocket science- Oh,” Richie's voice was booming even before he opened the door.

He had snapped you out of your tranquil state immediately, and you could already feel yourself tensing up again. Being around people and trying to act like everything was normal and okay all day was very hard. Especially around Rich. The guy you almost desperately wished to be close to. 

The fear was pungent though, you didn’t want to be a burden on anyone, especially on him. You feared getting tangled up with him in any way would only make life more painfully complicated.

These thoughts and feelings did not cross your mind though when you were actually around him in the kitchen, and you got to talk to him and watch him ‘work’, as you fought back the carnal urge to violently makeout with him.

It was far too easy to be comfortable around him, it was only after your shift everyday that you reminded yourself you were not in the position for a relationship.

If he even liked you-

“Hey, uh, what are ya doin' on the floor?” you were back to reality again, and Richie was looking down at you, one arm on the door and the other at his side. 

You looked up at him with the most honest and unintended look of pure dread on your face, eyes sad and fearful. His own expression dropped.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” he lowered his voice and knelt down to look you in the eyes, face to face.

You furrowed your brows and smiled in adoration. His words were somehow instantly comforting.

You shook your head, “It’s nothing. I’m just tired,”

He didn’t look convinced, instead he went to place a hand on your shoulder, his palm was warm in the chill.

“You sure you're ‘aright? You can tell me, ya know? Promise I won’t tell Mr. Crazy Chef,” he joked, referring to Carmy, and you let out a huff. 

“Did you spill a giant jar of pickles or somethin?” 

“Ha ha,” you said sarcastically, a half smile escaping your somber expression. Though, it didn’t last long.

Richie dropped to your level on the floor, sitting next to you.

You shook your head again, looking down.

“Its just been a long day,” you hesitated, but Richie just waited.

“Things have been… hard,” you let your words out with an exhale, your arms and legs becoming a bit less stiff.

“Home troubles?”

“Yeah,” you half whispered, fiddling with your fingers as that last bit of tension escaped you.

“Yeah… I get it,” he said with a sigh, and he let his head lean on the wall.

You sat there in silence for a second, the humming of the freezer accompanying your barely audible breaths.

“I take it you don’t wanna go back huh?” he asked you, turning his head to look at you.

You furrowed your brows and looked at him puzzled.

“Back home, I mean,” he clarified.

Oh

You put it together he assumed your home life wasn’t very good. Which technically it wasn’t, just not in the way he expected.

Obviously, you hadn’t alluded to anything else.

You nodded, barely mumbling another yeah, as to not embarrass yourself, though you could feel yourself getting there.

You leaned back against the metal shelf, tilting your head back and running your fingers by your scalp. 

You half smiled at him, afraid to look into his eyes for too long or you might get lost in them.

“You know you can stay with me if you want?”

“What?” you blurted.

“If yur really not feelin like… goin back tonight, you can crash at mine. I got plenty o’ room,” 

“Are you serious?”

“Course I am, I’m not an asshole,”

“Well…” you grinned and looked at him cheekily.

“Shush, I aint no fuckin asshole aright? I can be nice,” he expressed with his hands, signature of a pointed Richie opinion. 

“Yeah like now?” you joked, your arms hooked around your knees as you leaned forward again.

“You don’t have to come over if you don't wanna-”

“I do,”

Richie stopped and looked at you, surprised and… relieved by your answer?

“I do, want to,”

He opened his mouth to say something, but the longer he looked at you it seemed he couldn’t come up with anything. He smiled a little bit instead, a pleasant sight. His cheeks just a bit pink.

“Well, then we better get goin’, it’s ‘bouta be closing and I don’t recommend staying overtime,”

He popped up from the floor, lending his hand for you to grab and propel you up. 

“I already work overtime, Richie,” you reminded him as he brought you to your feet.

“Right uh, I really should get Carm to pay you more for that,”

“You should,” you said, nodding a bit and just barely smiling, it seemed to be something neither of you could stop doing.

“Consider it out of my paycheck. A little catch up in your check for this week. I’ll get Carm to fix it tomorrow, promise,”

You nodded, then looked down, grateful but also a bit guilty. Anything out of Richie's pocket could basically be considered right out of the restaurant. Richie seemed to catch your worried look.

“You ‘aright?” he let a hand rest on your shoulder, leaning over to get a look at you. 

You nodded, sheepishly, but Richie just held onto your other shoulder.

“You sure?” you made eye contact, and willed yourself to reassure him.

“Yeah,” you nodded, and he let go.

“Kay, let’s get outta here,” he sighed, opening the door to the giant fridge.

“I promise you won’t regret this. I've got a nice 50 inch flatscreen, the most shining bathroom you’ve ever seen, and a pretty damn good bed,” He said, his eyes bright still but his face smug, until he caught your expression and dropped his own.

“That’s not what I uh…,”

“What’s goin on here cuz?” Carmy rounded the corner,

“Nothin, we’re just headin out,”

“We?” He looked at Richie, incredulous.

“Y/n was uh-”

“I’m staying at Richie's tonight. Just a temporary thing, my parents are having some friends and relatives over right now and I’m not really into opening the can o’ worms that is my life and career at the family function,” you chuckled nervously. You thought of the lie quicker than you were proud of, but knew it might resonate with Carm.

“Yeah no, that's… fine. Yeah, I uh, I understand,” he paused, ”I get it,”

He looked you both up and down, and it was only then that you noticed you were standing so close together your arms were touching. In the time the conversation started, neither of you made an effort to move away from the other. 

His brows raised, “Have fun you two,” he smirked and turned to leave.

“Very funny, Carm. Fuck you too!” Richie called after him, 

“Hope your playdate goes well!” he called back, just barely audible.

“What a dick,” Richie mumbled.

Remove the word ‘play’ from that sentence and the prospect of your staying over completely changed. Though you wondered, if the word 'play' really insinuated anything else, if not… other activities that could happen at a potential hangout. Was the word ‘play’ in ‘playdate’ in the context of two adults being around one another really any more appropriate than just simply saying date?

“Don’t listen to him,” Richie assured you, blue eyes wide and totally in your face.

You snapped out of zoning out, eyes flitting from the spot on Richie's neck where they rested.

“Sure,” you said half mindlessly, nodding your head and scrunching your nose.

“We are just two coworkers, who are going to one person's apartment, where we will do regular coworker things,” Richie stressed, as you two made your way to the back door, expressing it all with his hands and arms.

“Mhm mhm,” you nodded your head again, walking quickly, but not forgetting to swipe your bag of stuff from off the floor by the lockers.

“Like… sleeping,” he exclaimed a little too loudly, and you both paused in the doorway as soon as he said it.

“That keeps coming out wrong, doesn’t it?” he looked down, and then up at you, smiling a little bit.

He needed to stop doing that, it was starting to become addicting to watch.

“Yeah, it does,” you said with a sympathetic look of worry and also amusement.

“Yeah,” he flattened his mouth, his hands landing on his hips.

“I think maybe you should just stop talking about it for a bit,” you suggested.

“Yeah you're right, you're right. It’s a little weird huh?” he looked side to side, then down at the ground again, scratching his neck.

“I mean, not weird. Just a little, odd,”

“Just a little?” he looked up, smile growing on his face and cheeks still very pink.

“Just a little!” you chimed, and it looked like his eyes were smiling before his lips could.

“Yeah… good on ya babe. I should keep my mouth shut more often”

“Maybe not, completely shut?”

“Ah,”

“But just… mostly, shut,” you let your mouth curl into a smile.

“Right. Like a ventriloquist,” he offered, smiling back, a bit bashful.

“Yes, like a ventriloquist. Exactly,” you grinned and rubbed the space between your brows, he laughed a little.

You laughed as well, just barely, air escaping your nose and mouth. You exhaled, and let your smile fade with his. You both paused, eyes meeting in the comforting silence. Richie's mouth parted, before he clicked his tongue.

“My uh, my car is just at the end of the lot,” he grinned, 

“Right yes, lets go to that,”

“As you wish,” he swayed his hand out in front of him.

You simply smiled, and walked past him down the step to outside. He stopped before he could even walk forward.

“Wait, hold up. I gotta get my jacket… I’ll be right back,”

“Yeah, sure,”

He turned towards the lockers but promptly turned right back around.

“Do you need anything? You got all your stuff?”

“Yep! It’s just my bag,”

“Okay, alright, cool,”

He disappeared down the hall, and you turned to face the cold, all too familiar with the chill on your skin. You watched your breath in the air, as you exhaled, trying to slow the rising tempo of your heart. You hoped Richie's place was warm. You hoped he was warm.

“Alright!” you jumped a bit, but met him with kind eyes.

“Let's get this show on the road,”

#richie jerimovich #the bear #ebon moss bachrach #richie jerimovich x reader #the bear fanfiction #The Bear fandom please accept me

[harvey-danger-stan]

with medusa getting a more sympathetic characterization & gabe being portrayed as more of a loser than a violent asshole, i feel like medusa's head being cut off might be written out/rewritten- which makes me kinda sad, because the whole mailing medusa's-head-to-olympus is such an amazing moment of percy's Audacity, & turning gabe to stone is just *chef's kiss*

it's possible that they might still kill off medusa, but i will be VERY surprised if they kill off this version of gabe who has done nothing but be a bum, unless they have some really horrifying flashbacks/additional scenes.

not complaining, just speculating- i'm certainly not overly attached to book!gabe & his contributions (if you can call them that) to the story. the show's been so great so far, & rick riordan is literally working on it, so i'm not worried! just intrigued.

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #pjo show #percy jackson disney+ #percy jackson show #pjo series

[gogotti]

hey!! first off, your writing is just *chef's kiss*, i love it!!!

could i pretty please request smutty michael myers (og or rz) with an afab reader who is kinda silly, snarky, very much a funny friend/class clown type personality, and who likes egging him on and taunting him because they love when he's extra rough with them? they're just a wee bit of a brat who likes being scared and wants to be put in their place. tyyyy 💗🥺

First, thank you so much!! You are the first *chef's kiss* I've ever got so this made me very happy!!! I chose RZ for this because bark bark lmfaooo but I hope you enjoy it! I don't know if I interpreted this the right way so if I didn't I'm sorry, you are more than welcome to try again! ;) I did it half hc's and half fic cause I HAD to write the smutty part out.

and if you'd like to see more Michael Myers I have a few other fics!!

Michael Myers/Reader - NSFW

Warnings: none really, readers being silly goofy and fucking with Michael, Michael chokes you, Michael gets to cum but you don't :( I'm trying something new and using the word "cunt" instead of "pussy" so that's in there too

Messing with Michael was by far your favorite activity. 

Michael’s minding his business, sitting in his art room making masks, and you? You’ve been tearing small pieces of paper from the notepad at your side and trying to get one to land in his ear.

Michael’s trying to peacefully watch a movie and you're in the other room with the remote, turning it on and off to fuck with him and making him think he’s sitting on it

Every time he would huff and grunt at you, you would playfully do it back, effectively making any communication impossible. And earning you a warning growl when you passed the 5-minute mark

(Which was 3 minutes longer than Michael would have normally tolerated, so you saw it as a win)

Earlier you managed to find his candy stash, which he very much prided himself on hiding from you, and decided to parade around the house with his last remaining Hersey bar. You weren’t gonna eat it, of course, you were going to let him think you were.

The look on his face, which for once was one that you couldn't decipher, made chills go down your spine, and as Michael passed by you couldn't help but cower slightly.

You literally ran back to his stash and put it back. You also made a note to yourself to buy him more, just in case.

You even went as far as hiding his jumpsuit, which looking back at the situation from your standpoint now, was the best and maybe, possibly, the worst decision you’ve made yet.

It was obvious Michael wanted to go out tonight, his patience had been worn thin since he woke up and you were, intentionally, the cause of it. You were sitting comfortably in the center of your shared bed, watching and grinning every time Michael turned his back to you as he paced the room, desperately trying to remember where he last put his jumpsuit. You had been silent until this point, wanting Michael to simmer in his frustration a bit longer before you offered nothing but a witty comment to aggravate him further.

Your eyes swept around the room slowly, eventually settling on the closet he tore apart in his search. His jumpsuit sat comfortably under his pillow, folded as flat as you could get it in a fit of giggles, so Michael’s fit of destruction was very unnecessary, as well as a fitting punishment for you to deal with later. You glanced at Michal again, who stood silently across from you. “Michael, maybe you missed something in the clo-..!”

Michael rushed at you suddenly, you didn't have time to avoid the crushing fist that clamped around your neck; your sputtering and grabbing at Michael’s hand did not stop him from pushing you back against the headboard and knocking the wind out of you. As you struggled to breathe Michael stood above you, blue eyes staring down with less than violent intentions, surprisingly. His eyes were settled on his jumpsuit, folded and tossed haphazardly under his pillow, which had been tossed to the side in his fit. He knew that you were the one who put it there, so his eyes shot to you, and he huffed at your struggle to look innocent. “Oh… It’s under your pillow, Michael…” You looked at him cautiously before moving to pick it up and mindlessly wipe and mess with it. “Hm… wonder how it got there… I could’ve sworn-!!”

Again, Michael grabbed at your throat, only this time he kept you suspended. He quickly swiped everything but a single pillow off of the bed, tossing you down, and roughly flipping you over when you landed. It was much easier to let him toss you around, so you didn't bother moving; instead, you settled into your spot, quickly getting comfortable underneath him, a cocky grin forming on your face that you were glad Michael wasn't paying attention too. The sound of the nightstand being rummaged through grabbed your attention, and you could only turn your head slightly before he roughly grabbed your hair, shoving you into the pillow below you. You moaned into the pillow at the grip he had on your hair, just barely able to hear Michael’s huff from above you. The sudden noise of Michael tossing something onto the dresser drew your attention again, and only now could you hear the wet noises coming from Michael. 

He took his hand off of your head and slipped it underneath you, scooping you up slightly and moving around a bit before placing his cock between your thighs, close enough so the tip could bump against your cunt. You hummed as you felt Michael begin to move, placing you down and beginning to thrust slowly. His cock brushed against your clit deliciously, and your body immedietly melted at the feeling, soft breaths and moans spilling from your mouth as Michael rocked slowly above you. Michael shifted, the bed dipping on your sides slightly, and you quickly assumed he was adjusting, only to have your hair pulled roughly, your head flying back so you could see Michael perfectly. He quickly let go of your hair, now reaching for your throat and grabbing harshly. He placed his other hand on your hip, squeezing a bruise into your side as he began to thrust faster. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and high-pitched whines and moans poured from your hanging jaw, unable to close because of the brutal pleasure Michael was putting you through. 

His cock rammed into your clit, the feeling making your cunt clench around nothing and drawing a loud plea from your mouth. “Michael, please, I want you inside!” You whined loudly as Michael huffed and continued to roughly fuck your thighs, seemingly ignoring your plea. A yelp left your mouth as Michael slightly slowed for a moment to thrust himself into your cunt, grunting at the feeling of your walls clenching down onto his cock, and continuing his brutal pace. The stretch of Michael suddenly entering you was painful, but each rough thrust sent a shock of pleasure through you that made you bite into your lip in order to keep yourself grounded. It wasn't long before you felt the familiar pull of an orgasm begin to form in your core, and you could tell Michael was getting closer too, his thrusts began to get rougher and sloppier. You needed more, but whining and pleading for Michael to do literally anything to finally make you cum seemed useless since Michael wasn’t paying any attention to you. You could feel Micheal's hips stutter and slow as he thrust himself balls deep, filling your cunt. 

You whined as Michael slowed, and that feeling in your core began to fade until you were right back where you started: desperately needing Michael to rail you. He slowly pulled out and your eyes widened, “You're not done, are you?”

Michael of course didn't respond, instead, you watched as he got off of the bed and snatched his jumpsuit off of the floor, carelessly walking into the bathroom as you stared at him in shock. He came out of the bathroom shortly after, immediately turning toward the door to leave causing you to sit up quickly, speaking loud enough to get his attention.

“What if I said I’m sorry?”

#rz michael myers #michael myers #michael myers x y/n #michael myers x you #rob zombie michael myers #michael myers x reader

[mariejordans]

can u recommend some good aus and fics about jordan and marie I'm begging you plsssssss

*gasp* oh my goodness i love this questionnnnn!

okay, i’ll give you my current top five limoreau fics uploaded to ao3, but honestly there’s so many good ones for you to pick from, you really can’t go wrong with anything. also, these aren’t ranked in any particular order just my top five in general!

(warning: a lot of these are smutty bc it’s the most common rating in the marie/jordan tag at the moment, so if smut’s not ur thing, let me know and i can do a top 5 of non-smutty limoreau fics!)

1. you can take my flesh if you want, girl by stormbxrnbitch

rating: E

this author has only two limoreau fics out right now and both are SO GOOD (seriously, i can’t recommend this author enough) but i’m obsessed with this au which is why i put it on the list!

this specific fic is a vampire au in which marie herself is a vampire (a cool take on her canonic bloodbending powers) and jordan’s kinda (super) into it. it’s a three-shot, kinda marie-centric, and just all around super interesting and compelling to read. it’s still a wip and it hasn’t gotten smutty YET, but the author has promised lots of it for the final chapter!

2. Want Want? by Cherrydrama and Levie101

rating: M

i’ve recommended it on here before but seriously, IT’S SO GOOD!

it was written before episode five came out, so it’s a jordan pov, canon divergence fic on what happens after limoreau wakes up in the bed together, and i don’t want to spoil it too much, but i will say one thing: SPARRING/TRAINING AU.

this one isn’t super smutty iirc, it’s rated M, so it’s good if you like spice but not a lot of smut in your fics.

3. The Weight Of You by Georgiathewholedaythrough

rating: M

another canon divergence fic! written before episode five, it’s also a take on what happens after they wake up in bed together, only this time things get…smutty. it’s marie pov, very sweet, very romantic, and funny too.

4. two timing by diaphanouspages

rating: E

this is a slight au (described by the author as “has a weird relationship to the show’s actual canon, but just accept the violent canon divergence and move on”) in which jordan attempts to make marie jealous, which works and then they end up in bed together. starts off angsty and kinda smutty, but also turns sweet towards the end.

also slight praise kink for jordan, so if you’re into that…

5. Reluctant Study Buddies by MercutioTheVelaryon

rating: M

another canon divergence fic taking place after episode 4 ending, but they all go in different directions i swear!

this is a study partners/study buddies au (as stated in the title) in which marie and jordan are assigned to be partners on a project for one of their classes. it gets a bit steamy, but it fades to black so if you aren’t comfortable with explicit smut, this might be for you! also, very funny and the banter between jordan and marie in it is *chef’s kiss*

(also this author has a bunch of other limoreau fics uploaded, which i also really loved, so i recommend you check those out as well!)

THATS IT THATS THE LIST! i genuinely hope it helped even a little bit, and that it gives you the mariejordan fix we’ve all been craving since thursday 😭 also, let me know your thoughts after you’ve read if you want, i’m always down to ramble on about gen v/limoreau nonsense!

#but seriously #to all the limoreau writers out there: KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING #AND YOURE ALL AMAZING #AND I LOVE YOU #gen v #gen v fics #marie moreau #jordan li #mariejordan #limoreau #gen v asks

[tennessoui]

I fucking LOVE the most recent playmaker snipper (kisses to distract) because you can see EXACTLY how Obi-Wan becomes who he does. He kisses Quinlan knowing it will get the man killed, because Quinlan's life is not as important as Obi-Wan getting to stay with Anakin. Yes, it was spur of the moment, but it's still a decision he made and has to live with. And then when Anakin asks him why, and he's like (1/?)

"I told you I was cold ... as if he’d been so cold he found another man’s body to keep him warm in the minutes he was away from Anakin." This is ABSOLUTELY the man who calls out Cody's name in revenge because Anakin comes home late for Christmas. This is the beginning of that monster, and it's so so perfectly constructed to play to all his insecurities. I just... chef's fucking kiss, kit, you've done it again (2/2)

(in reference to this playmaker au snippet)

so i love love love all the playmaker stuff i've written that's set in the distant future where it's clear that obi-wan has been successfully warped into a monster that very nicely matches anakin's and now he's kidnapping babies and violently killing home intruders and also his own father

but ugh there's something i love the most about the ficlets/scenarios where he's just starting out in the mob and is either totally innocent (like the very first snippet) or in the midst of his transformation

like he totally regrets kissing vos because he knows that means vos is going to die--but in the moment the only thing he cares about is not leaving anakin and doing whatever he can to stay by his side which is objectively insane!! and then he does this a few months later all over again to maul when maul is threatening to tell vader that obi-wan is a rat. it's the same action, same kiss of death, it's driven by the same gut-instinct fear of being abandoned by the person he loves and it's so fucked up of him to do not just once to a guy he actually likes but twice!!

i bet anakin spends a long time expecting obi-wan to try and run post-leaving the police department, once the realization of all that he's done sets into him, and he's ready to drag the city the way you drag a lake in order to get him back (aka total destruction if that's what it takes) but obi-wan would literally never leave him even just to tease

he'll cut his hair and steal a baby and make anakin's life incredibly complicated in punishment for anakin, say, not doing his fucking taxes, but he'd never ever actually leave - he's perpetually a little scared that anakin would just let him go

(and anakin would never, but it's also best if obi-wan never knows that for sure. best for anakin at least)

#asks #playmaker au #obikin #vaderwan #the best part of the playmaker au is obi-wan's descent into insanity comparable to anakins #because he came to anakin with so many visible insecurities and anakin said is anyone gonna take advantage of that boy's daddy issues #and then did not wait for an answer #and obi-wan said i would let you do anything to me and my sense of morality as long as you keep saying you love me #as ive never heard those words before in my life and i quite like them

[slaytheprincessfanacc]

Ranking all of the Voices

this is totally not biased at all :>

11. Voice of the Cold

a lot of people might violently disagree with me on this one but personally I’ve never been into any edgy sexymen besides from the Onceler (that is called a joke btw)

idk man he’s just too edgy and willing to kill the princess I guess he’s sorta cool tho

10. Voice of the Broken

maybe I just never went into a sad edgy man phase now that I think about it idk

9. Voice of the Hunted

i put him here mostly because I avoided the Beast route so I don’t know a lot about him, might change this and move him if I decide to stop avoiding the Beast lmao

8. Voice of the Skeptic

again, don’t know enough about him cause I avoided the prisoner route since it seemed boring, same thing I said for the voice of the hunted applies here (damn I really am clueless huh)

7. Voice of the Opportunist

kinda funny but tries to kill the princess too much

6. Voice of the Cheated

lol get rekt

5. Voice of the Hero

nice but considers morals too often

4. Voice of the Paranoid

he ran our autonomic nervous system more than once that’s pretty cool

3. Voice of the Stubborn

i can admire a man who loves butch women

2. Voice of the Contrarian

what a silly giddy tomfooler. reminds me a lot of cat memes which goes well with me since I have an album of 300 of those on my phone

1. Voice of the Smitten

i love him like he loves the princess. good boy, very sweet and accepting chefs kiss mwah

#slay the princess #stp posting #stp voices #stp #the long quiet

[fanfictiongreenirises]

What are some themes in Jiang Cheng fan works that you especially enjoy?

I’m super sorry for how long it’s taken me to reply to you but you caught me during Eid week which was insanely chaotic 🤣 this got kinda long so i'm popping it under the cut :D

Violent and self sacrificial love: you cannot have JC without his all encompassing love, and it’s one of the things that makes him such an interesting character. There are few things that make JC act irrationally, and his loved ones are a very major one!! It’s such a fun thing to play with - I love characters that love with their whole self and stories that focus on the consequences of that!!!

Responsibility, duty, tradition: okay this is like many different things rolled into one rather niche dot point so bear with me. I LOVE that JC is a character who takes his responsibilities seriously!! He is dutiful and he does his best to put the sect before all else, and you have no idea how hard it is to find that in fantasy that I’m used to (Western YA and NA fantasy lmao). I really love fics that have that theme of sacrificing for duty and eventually reaping the benefits of that (the sect being so loyal to JC in return, the sect flourishing, the love that JL has for JC), but also fics that look at JC upholding YMJ traditions when he’s one of the few who remember them, or having to adjust traditions/make new ones because of that reason. And as I’m typing this out I’m realising there’s… probably a reason… for me enjoying seeing cultural traditions needing to be adjusted because you don’t have much family or the same resources around and things are very different from how your parents would’ve celebrated those same traditions, and needing to make those who are around your family now… Anyway, it’s just insanely cathartic to see certain cultural values and themes across so many fanworks. I've thought about this particular element to the point where I realised the other month that there’s a whole world outside of Western fantasy novels that likely do have these themes that are so fucking hard to find in Western novels, so I’m trying out other Chinese novels, i dipped into Japanese books, and I got my cousin to recommend me Bangla fantasy novels because I realised I’ve never considered how fantasy themes would be in my own culture 😔✊ (it's funny timing bc my dad arrived literally a couple hrs ago with the books, and my reading ability is decent for someone who's never needed to read Bangla but I'm gonna have to sit down with either google translate or a dictionary bc I'm so used to my parents translating harder words or getting us to read books for younger kids,, i'm like which words here are made-up fantasy words and which are real 💀😭)

Grief: grief has quite literally shaped this guy, and it’s so cool to see different fics have different takes on how it’s affected him as a person. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a fandom where grief has been such a huge theme and it’s very fun to see the fandom leaning into it. (I also need to given honorary shoutouts to disillusionment, guilt, loneliness, and repression!! I think a lot of these are especially interesting in combo with how much JC values responsibility and duty, and fics that study them are so chefs kiss.)

Turning Into His Mother: I’m so obsessed with this theme. I think it’s mostly because YZY is so mum coded for me and there are aspects of my own mother that I see in her so strongly that any time fic gives her and JC’s relationship the depth it deserves, I’m standing there chomping on wood. I especially love it when JC’s journey has elements of “I can’t be like my mother bc everyone says that’s bad” -> “I should act like my father, because he’s the only example I have of a sect leader” -> “am I difficult to love like my mother was?” -> “the best way to protect those I love is through the things my mother taught me” -> “the only parent whose love I genuinely felt was my mother’s so when I’m displaying love to a child, I should use the most successful method I know” -> “I am like my mother; maybe that’s a good thing”. It’s rare that I get to sink my teeth into a character who had such a complex relationship with his mother, so any fics with this theme automatically make me go insane. (Something here as well about JC written in fics as a woman scorned, JC with ruined woman vibes who’d been promised by WWX that he’d always be by his side and now isn’t and without any good reason that JC is aware of, something about fics that project feminine rage onto him in a way that feels freeing and safe because he’s a male character so it’s like you can almost examine it without having to examine sexism and gender roles…)

Aroace and queer themes: aro!JC!! ace!JC!! Never before have I been into a character I can project onto so fully, but also see other people projecting onto?? This fandom has so many gorgeous aroace!JC fanworks, and we get so much variety from ppls experiences!! there’s something extremely fulfilling about fics with a main character who doesn’t feel conventional romantic/sexual love, and is still very successful and has a full life with loved ones and is satisfied with life. There's also this tiny niche of fics involving JC in queerplatonic relationships, and any time I read those I would literally have to lie there for an hour contemplating my life. I think the other fun thing about this is that there's a pretty big chunk of the fandom that characterises JC as the kind of acesexual who thinks all his allo friends are absolute weirdos for how they're behaving, and it's such a funny and refreshing (and extremely relatable) take.

Whump: last but definitely not least, JC being whumped within an inch of his life 😌 I love this fandom deciding that the most efficient way to get JC to show emotions is to shove some knives in him and get him all bloodied up. The one gore/torture fic that genuinely icked me out to the point where I had to stop reading for a moment was a delightful post canon JC fic that I revisit every few months because it just scratches that whump itch so well 👏

I’m sure the moment I post this I’ll be hit by like fifty other things I forgot to put in here, but for now I’m blanking. thank youu for giving me an excuse to think about JC 🫶🫶🫶

#asks #you know that post that's like 'my mutuals would be able to diagnose me based on my blorbos'? yea something about finding the themes i enjo #in JC fics. and realising how similar a lot of them are with blorbos i gravitate towards in other media. hrm

[killersnarl]

// sfw alphabet for nine under the cut because i am sick and cannot work on cooler content rn 😔 go crazy

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

as a baseline i’d say he’s a very affectionate person. he’s not afraid of initiating it either, even in tense or violent situations he can be very warm and cordial. in situations like these i think a lot of people can take it as a mockery or some sort of weird threat, which can be partially true, but not always. sometimes his comforts are genuine but just happen to scare the shit out of people, he doesn’t give up tho.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

i’ll say that he’s very elusive and just disappears for days at a time sometimes. he’s a very hard person to be friends with because he’s notoriously hard to get ahold of. you’d never know much about him or his life, but he’d end up knowing everything about yours.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

nine is naturally a very touchy person i think, that’s kind of just how he is, very into tapping on shoulders and such. when he does actually hold people though it’s very very lightly because he’s always conscious of how much force he’s using. he’s automatically very heavy handed so he really has to be aware of himself.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

there will be no settling down ever. he’s mediocre at cooking it’s definitely not that bad but he’s no chef, i would trust him to cook me food and not kill me while also having it taste relatively good. nine is a very very clean person so even though his spaces might be kind of cluttered sometimes he’s very good with cleanliness upkeep. i will say there’s at least 5 empty water bottles on his nightstand tho.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

the most horrible way possible actually. nine will do almost anything to convince people to dislike him because he loves self sabotage and ruining everything that makes him happy. no matter what he will find a way to make you leave him eventually.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

don’t even get me started on how deathly allergic he is to the idea of commitment

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

very much so. physically it can be a litttle difficult because he has to be very careful with how much force he applies all the time but he does his best and usually he does it very well, very soft touches. emotionally he can be very gentle with people which might be surprising, even if he’s dropping his whole murder monologue bomb on you he somehow finds a way to be very calm and gentle about it a lot of the time.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

nine hugs are warm and all encompassing. very very nice and cozy if nine hugged me i would immediately fall asleep. he’s very soft and cushy. and i think we all know he doesn’t mind people initiating physical contact with him.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

genuinely do not know if he’s ever seriously told another human being that he loves them except for his mother. it’s not that he doesn’t like or love people, he just doesn’t express it that way. i think part of him thinks it’s embarrassing to the other person so he just never verbally expresses it seriously.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

there is not a jealous bone in his body actually i don’t even know if he’s capable of this. maybe when he was like 17 and always mad idk. it’s actually comical he is not jealous or envious of anyone he’s like 31 and has already accepted that he is a depraved useless person that deserves nothing.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

very good actually. he talks to them like tiny adults and they tend to like him cause he’s big and nice. i will say he might curse around them though because he forgets.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

this is assuming you’ll ever see the day where you find a way to wake up before he dips

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

it varies very heavily because there’s a lot of things that could be happening at night and some of those things are nice but some of them are scary.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

never ever. he will actually go to great lengths to avoid telling people about himself, his only interest is knowing about other people. he’s somehow mastered switching the topic of conversation onto others.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

nine has absolutely incredible patience and he does not get mad ever, not outwardly at least. there’s not really anything for him to be mad about regardless. he’s a very calm and patient person no matter how intense the situation might be, he’s really just never in a rush. however in his late teens he was very different.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he remembers everything, more than you probably remember about yourself. that’s the one joy he’ll allow himself to have, knowing things about people and asking questions about them. it’s a little scary.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

we all know how nine feels about the concept of relationships

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

very actually. nine doesn’t want to be protected in the slightest, but he does want to protect other people. he doesn’t want any harm brought to people that haven’t done anything, but i will say that most people have probably done something in their lives.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

nine does not do dates or anniversaries or gifts. on a broader spectrum it’s not that he doesn’t try at things it’s just kind of that he’s pretty mediocre. if you asked him to draw a cat for you he would definitely do it but it would be ugly.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

okay well i would say the constant self sabotage and destruction is probably not good. and when i say constant i mean constant sometimes it’s so stupid. sometimes he’ll get his favorite soda and then give it to someone else just so he can’t have it.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

very but not in the way you’d expect. he’s concerned because he wants to keep himself ugly and hide his face from people. he doesn’t really put any effort into making himself “pretty” aside from basic cleanliness and hygiene but that’s only because when it comes to his body he’s a complete clean freak. plus all his clothes look pretty stupid.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

no ! to be honest he will never feel complete because he will not allow anything to make him happy and he likes it that way. there will always be something missing and he’s destined to walk the rest of his life like that. he thinks of himself as some sort of pyramidhead like figure, some sort of executioner and purveyor of doom cursed to do this until he can’t walk any more. there is no suffering but there is no lack of suffering.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

i can’t make headcanons because i made him so here’s some ezzy made:

dad mannerisms. he makes the most heinous dad-like noises when he sits down or gets up.

exclusively wears those dc shoes with the tongue halfway up the calf.

nails and nail beds are disturbingly well kept.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

the one thing that really grinds his gears is people who are ungrateful to be alive. he’ll make you happy to be alive in the most unnecessary and gruesome way possible. he does not like it when people don’t appreciate the gift of life and living and he especially doesn’t like it when they attempt to throw that opportunity away.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

overall he’s a very sleepy guy and he does have a bad habit of taking cat naps and not having an actual sleep schedule. i think i can also mention his horrible snoring and sleep apnea LOL

#carnalposting #no i’m not doing the other one because it looks corny sorry #if u have any more prompts like this one lmk :3

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Okay, so I’ve noticed a theme in posts recently about Izzy Hands that I want to address. I love Izzy as a character (*chefs kiss* to Con O'Neill's portrayal) and also love exploring him. He is (unfortunately) one of my blorbos. But the thing is that

Izzy Hands is homophobic. He’s a queer coded homophobic homosexual - this immediate interpretation of him that was passed around isn’t wrong.

I’ve seen at least 5 posts now saying he isn’t and it’s kind of bizarre to me? He literally is. So I sort of just want to look at some of the reasons people are saying he isn’t. Ultimately, I think the reading that ‘it’s wrong to say Izzy is homophobic’ comes from like. A misunderstanding of all the forms homophobia can take? Or a belief that if you yourself are mlm you can’t be homophobic? 

So one HUGE thing I’ve seen multiple times now is ‘Izzy ignores Pete and doesn’t say anything homophobic to him when he finds Pete and Lucius having sex in Episode 5′. But the fact that Izzy immediately picks on the effeminate gay man and calls him a ‘bitch’ - a pretty damn loaded term in this context - is homophobia. But then why does he ignore Pete? It’s because Izzy’s homophobia is specifically directed towards effeminate gender-non-conforming gay men. Which is a pretty intense form of homophobia, in fact its a wildly common one. ‘I’m okay with someone being homosexual, but I can’t stand all that gay shit’ is like. A huge thing. Do we not remember that dumb meme that was passed around in like 2012 that was all ‘gay people I respect vs. gay people I don’t respect’? 

So yes, Izzy ignores Pete in favour of Lucius, but that’s because Lucius is the kind of gay man Izzy takes issue with. And there’s obviously more to it than that, there’s an important class reading (in an episode which is all about class) in that Lucius represents the most educated member of the crew apart from Stede. But that’s not it in it’s totality because the ‘bitch’ line is RIGHT THERE, and the way that Izzy wants to use Lucius’s open flirting with the crew is RIGHT THERE. 

And Izzy’s hatred of Stede plays into this; Stede is an imbecele, he’s dumb, he’s ridicious, he’s not the right sort of man. Edward when he allows himself to enjoy the things Stede enjoys is also not being the right sort of man. But wanting men to not be openly feminine in some of their hobbies and personality it just...it IS homophobia. 

And Izzy is obviously queer coded. As the show runners said, he has a toxic love for Edward. He gets really close to men and stares at their lips while he argues. Etc. Etc. If Izzy was offered a ‘manly’ no holds bared violent relationship with Ed he wouldn’t have a problem with that at all. If the crew were fucking but like ‘proper pirates’ do (aka calico jack and Ed’s relationship) then Izzy probably wouldn’t have a problem with that either. But just because he doesn’t take issue with mlm relationships in all their forms, that DOESN’T mean he’s not homophobic and denying this part of his character is just...a really weird move in my opinion? And sort of denies him some of the complexities he has? 

Idk if people are doing this because they want to make him more sympathetic, or more ‘blorbo-y’ or if they just genuinely don’t see this kind of behaviour as homophobia but. You can like the character even if he is like this you know that right? In fact, this aspect of his character is what makes him interesting to many people and makes people want to explore his backstory and stuff (and maybe give him some kind of redemption arch)? It’s okay to like villains and people in fiction who you wouldn’t IRL? He did all the bad stuff he did and that’s actually very interesting and way more cool than if we sooth him over so he’s easily digestible. 

Anyway, that’s my rant.

#izzy hands #ofmd

[phlurrii]

Okay new crack theory time

Okay, so the facts that Meau hung out with humans and in their civilization once upon a time, that they had their trust betrayed by the same humans, their reaction to Randy, and the fact that they have a significant trauma with their second neck, I definitely could kind of see what happened in the last comic makes sense. But now, seeing how that trauma happened, I'm starting to think that there might've been a separate trauma to creating Noe. Maybe. I'm not entirely convinced, but I keep looking at the post where you introduced Noe's ghost-typing, and the significant glitchy effect on Noe, coupled with Meau's look of concern or surprise or some combo of those, looks like that might've been the moment Noe manifested, or Noe got corrupted. It also kind of looks a little bit like Noe jumped in front of something, now, shielding Meau. I'll come back to that point in a second.

On top of that, I'm wondering if Giratina's violent outburst didn't happen as some form of retaliation for the humans grabbing Meau's second neck. She already looked afraid and frantic, trying to get away from something. Maybe Arceus wanted to leave the humans be, and not slaughter them into extinction (don't think I haven't forgotten about the extinction event you mentioned before) but Giratina wanted to just wipe them out, humans don't just get to disrespect their own species's creator, but also that's Giratina's younger sibling.

Maybe the fight between Giratina and Arceus is so violent that it still creates some kind of extinction event, and Meau tries intervening, which might have helped create/corrupt Noe? Maybe the trauma wasn't necessarily physical in nature (as I had been assuming all this time, with their second neck, since that has extra power in it, as you mentioned in the Shadow Synergy Stone comic). Maybe seeing them fight is traumatic. However, Noe also might be an echo of something, so what if they started as some kind of defense mechanism? Maybe some of the extra attack/energy if Arceus and Giratina fought destructively went for Meau, Noe took the hit, and they became corrupted.

I hope that made sense!

(I'm also toying with the idea that Noe and Meau share a soul or have some kind of Destiny Bond going on between them, but that's a mess for another day lol)

I'm making a bigger job for myself trying to pin-point the extinction event, Noe's origins/Meau's trauma, and Giratina's violent outburst all into one event or events right after each other. I'm probably trying to connect things that are separate history beats XD

Okay I wanted to get that timeline out it before I replied to this so you would have context as well as frankly with the work you’ve put in? You deserve the damn timeline to help with the history beats X3

First bit, again the source citing actually helps me answer these and it’s phenomenal, muah, chefs kiss, anywho! There’s certainly a trauma that lead to Noe’s creation and you are correct that the second neck’s trauma, whatever it was, was not related to Noe’s appearance. However, it does still have a significant tie in to Noe and Meau’s current state.

Second bit, I have words, but these words need more time in the tea kettle before I can properly lay them out without giving things away or putting myself into a corner narratively. For now, I will say, Giratina and Arceus had very conflicting views for how to handle what the humans eventually did.

I can deny that Missingno. did not come from any sort of trauma, for Meau, relating to Arceus and Giratina. While his corruption was due to his own actions, none of which he regrets nor would go back on.

The last bit regarding sharing a soul, it’s… well, for current day… you’re on the right track.

#ask #Mel the pirate #council of theorists #missingno

[guzhuangheaven]

Hello! Hope you’re doing well :D! Just wondering what cdramas you’re watching now.

New Life Begins! It's really enjoyable and heart-warming. The plot is kind of non-existent and comes in and out almost like every once in a while the writers remembered they needed to have plot, but it’s got great world-building and characters which make up for it.

I love the concept of the nine regions and how each of those regions represent a different facets/levels to feminism.

You have Xinchuan in the middle being the big patriarchy, and you have Danchuan which is the kind of female-led, female-empowered society that Romance of Tiger and Rose tried to convey but ultimately failed. Danchuan make it very clear the key to empowerment/equality is about respect, and not like actual power or dominance.

But you also have the in-between regions like Jichuan where the FL is from, it isn’t explicitly matriarchal like Danchuan but clearly isn’t the ultra-patriarchal society of Xinchuan either. Here, just the practice of monogamy allows the FL to have different expectations in her marriage compared to her friend, Hao Jia, who comes from a region where polygyny is still the norm.

Hao Jia starts out with awareness that this system sucks but thinks that with that awareness she could play patriarchy to her advantage to benefit from it. Though it makes for a heart-breaking story for Hao Jia, I love the way this drama deconstructs how that ends up being impossible because systematic patriarchy is inherently designed to oppress women and there is no way to benefit from it without losing yourself.

It's also interesting that even though Jinchuan is still clearly male-centred and male-led, the fact that it’s about as close to a capitalist society as this world gets, it also provides women more freedom, at least in terms of being financially-independent. This is a very intriguing very pro-capitalism stance that I kind of hope/wish we can explore more. Are there any dark side of that and what is division of labour in the family like in Jinchuan if both men and women work…Do everyone just pay for childcare or do you just hoist that off to other family members…?

I love all the ways this drama subverts your expectation of female relationships in a typical drama. By episode three when they show the way Haitang and the solar ladies bond and team up to deal with the Third Prince, you should know that this drama is all about women supporting each other, but it still manages to surprise me when they continually refuse to take the catty internalised misogyny route. It’s like this drama decided to set up all the ways that women could turn against each other and then just goes, nope, they’re going to be best friends instead.

One of the things that reassured me that this drama is probably going to stay on the right path throughout is that there is no criticism of the path that Hao Jia chooses even when it traps her in an abusive marriage. Instead there is explicit acknowledgement that the fact that her husband is an abusive asshole is very much on him and just because Hao Jia chose to be his concubine doesn’t mean she deserves this. And she deserves everyone to help her get out of this situation.

At the same time, I was so pleasantly surprised with the Third Prince’s arc of realising that he’s the problem and has been treating his wife and concubines like objects, and how this allows him to learn from that. It’s acknowledgement that yes, men are taught by society to undermine/mistreat women, and change is only possible when they realise what they’re doing is wrong and commit to change. Except violent abusive assholes like the Second Prince. He deserves to die.

I guess the slow burn romance between the ML and FL is cute. But I forget they’re married most of the time to be honest. I also enjoy Bai Jingting in the comedy moments more than the serious political ones.

Sisi and the Seventh Prince are just *chef’s kiss* introvert with anxiety representation. I love how Sisi just occasionally shows up to throw money at her friends to deus-ex-machina them out of scrapes and then disappears again because social interaction is just *too much*.

Anyway, this drama: 10/10 would recommend. -h

#new life begins #卿卿日常 #cdrama #women in cdramas #feminism in cdrama #ask #nlb meta

[secretmellowblog]

Valjean + 7 & 8 (game ask)

For this ask meme: #7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like? And #8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Thanks for the ask!!

#7: a thing fandom does with this character that you like:

I love fix-its (I just want him to live!) it’s great when Jean Valjean gets to have a happier ending than his bleak passive suicide.  

Fics that explore Jean Valjean interacting with Other Characters (outside of Cosette) are also  great. He has such a narrow social circle in canon — he has basically no friends outside of his daughter— so playing him off other characters is really fun. It’s especially fun if (as is canonically accurate) he struggles very hard to interact with people and comes across as deeply weird. Jean Valjean tends to get “trapped in his own head” a lot, and exploring the relationships he could have with other characters– or just how other characters would be utterly baffled by him, while viewing him from the outside– is always great.

I also love fandom stuff that acknowledges how deeply strange he is. Any fandom stuff that features Jean Valjean breaking into people’s houses to give them money is always chefs kiss.

#8: A thing fandom does with this character that you despise:

I  was originally going to answer this with a whole passionate overlong essay about fandom tropes around Jean Valjean that bother me, but…I’ll keep it short lol because it's not really a big deal, haha. Like, I don’t want to be mean or unfair, and I like being in a fandom so large I can afford to be picky about characterization. I don’t like holding fanfic  to a higher moral standard than big “professional” media properties that are doing far worse. The most popular Les Mis fanfic on ao3 has maybe a couple thousand readers; BBC 2019, which is an utterly vile horrible conservative take on Les Mis and on Jean Valjean in particular, had millions of viewers. Fanfic writers have no budget and often no editors, so we don’t deserve to be held to the same level of scrutiny as massive projects like a tv show . Like I don’t want to overstate harm– fanfic is fine! Les mis fanfic is a tiny niche of a niche, and so small no one’s really being hurt by it. If I don’t like something, I don’t read it, and all that. I'm not here to be the fandom police XD.

And I really don’t like ever positioning myself as an “authority” on these characters or the person who does them “correctly,” because I’m not. 

That being said, if I were to be petty and summarize my personal Problems with the way Jean Valjean is often handled in fandom really briefly–

My core "pain" is that I feel like a lot of fans miss that the police are the villains of Les Mis. The police are the villains of Jean Valjean’s story and they’re the villains of Javert’s. Prison is evil. The carceral system is cruel and unjust, as a system. It is not a problem of Javert “not being nice enough to Valjean,” the entire system is fundamentally violent and vile and needs to be burned to the ground.  acab, and all.

I think part of why that gets missed is that many fans are laser-focused only on Javert–  and often on a highly specific musical-inspired fanon reading of Javert where he Did Nothing Wrong. (I'm not throwing shade, this was kinda also me when I was 13 lolllll.) And then they don’t analyze Jean Valjean anywhere near as deeply, if they analyze him at all, and don't pick up on the larger themes of the novel. And that's a shame, because Javert’s characterization will also suffer if you don’t have that wider context! I think the “problem” is just that if you acknowledge the complexity of Jean Valjean's character and his trauma, if you recognize how deeply Jean Valjean was ripped apart by prison,  how he has not recovered from his imprisonment and never will, and how he doesn’t view the criminal justice system with ‘total forgiveness’ but actually does have complicated overwrought repressed useless grief and rage over the system that abused him and the injustices he’s undergone, how he actually doesn’t like Javert on a personal level and only saved his life out of the same pity he would’ve shown to any other person in Javert's position–  it is much harder to see Javert as a Good Person and the police as a Good Institution. So as a result fanfic!Jean Valjean often  kinda has to be written as a bland saint patiently agreeing that Cops Are Great and Prison is Fine and Javert Did Nothing Wrong...because if he isn’t, the author has to acknowledge Javert has hurt Jean Valjean in ways he will never heal from, and question the morality of both  Javert and the police. 

 I think lots of people take the line “there’s nothing that I blame you for/you’ve done your duty nothing more” from the musical, interpret it as a sincere compliment, and then graft that interpretation onto the book— to the point of making it the entire core of Jean Valjean’s character. But Jean Valjean complimenting Javert with the Nuremberg defense (“it was all fine because you were doing your job”), and this being portrayed as Correct and Wise, is just not a compelling take on the character to me XD. I do not like it all. So I just don’t read fics that head in that direction. I'm not gonna content-police people, I just don't read it, haha.

I’ve been recommended multiple fics where Jean Valjean becomes Javert’s cop partner, or enthusiastically encourages him to return to the police, and it’s always a big “He Would Not Say That.” XD Jean Valjean, the most well-known victim of police brutality in the history of fiction, the character whose entire personality is built on the trauma of surviving incarceration and attempting to save others from his hellish fate, would never enthusiastically participate in incarcerating people–not even if they were  ‘bad’ people! It’s literally the core of his whole weird little Deal. it’s his whole schtick. 

And it's not that I hate Valvert either. I actually think Valvert can be very compelling-- and also funny, which is the most important thing. But part of the reason I’ve often stayed away from the valvert  fandom despite enjoying the Funky Weird Little Relationship is that I’ve had lots of trouble finding fic that gives Jean Valjean an actual life or character outside of Javert, or that also acknowledges the anti-police anti-prison themes of the novel.  But! There are a tiny handful of people who do it occasionally! And that's enough.

And again, this isn’t like the biggest deal or anything! I’m not a fandom cop trying to police what people write, especially because most people are just extrapolating from the musical/lots of people change their minds on characterizations over time/it’s hard to write without a team of editors to help you navigate things. These are just some fandom trends I personally don’t like, that I personally avoid,  and that I hope change over time….so that I have more fanfic to read that lines up with my own feelings on the characters XD.

But yeah those are my (abbreviated) years of spicy fanon Jean Valjean hot takes!!!

#les mis #ask game #jean valjean #fandom discourse!! kinda. XD #if anyone was interested I could write a masterpost on 'brick valjean things that arent in the musical' (that people could add onto) #im not positioning myself as an authority on these characters or anything #but!!! I think the changes to the character in the brick VS the musical and in a lot of fandom stuff are interesting #hes a funky little guy #blorbeaux from my book

[abyssalrevenant]

sfw alphabet, pt. iii

disclaimers: the original list comes from the-coldest-goodbye. the reader, when mentioned, is gender neutral.

𝐚 = 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧?)

nami is incredibly affectionate, at least when it comes to her romantic partners, and it tends to be a very playful sort of affection. sneaking up behind you to grab your waist, smacking a kiss on your cheek, she loves to see you flustered. she can and will be serious if you ask her or if the mood strikes her. with friends, her affection is more of the caretaker type; there’s a reason she’s always concerned for everyone on her crew.

𝐛 = 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭?)

she makes for one of the greatest best friends you could ever have. total confidence is the name of her game: whether it’s your darkest fear or a silly dream you had, nami will never breathe a word about it to anyone else. she’ll also splurge on you a little whenever you go to shore for a little shopping. if your life is ever in danger, nami is there fighting at your side.

𝐜 = 𝐜𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬 (𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞?)

nami won’t cuddle in public—not at first anyway—and even after she’s settled into her relationship, cuddling will still mostly take place behind closed doors. she prefers to be the big spoon in all things and likes the sensation of your hair tickling her chin even if you’re much taller than she is. 

𝐝 = 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 (𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠?)

bell-mère was self-sufficient, and she did her best to pass that self-sufficiency onto her daughters. because of that, nami knows how to cook and clean. she’s a little out-of-practice with the former—arlong had his own chef, and of course there’s sanji for the mugiwara—but she can make just about anything if she has a recipe or set of steps to follow. she wouldn’t mind settling down at some point, but for now she’s happy to be the best pirate navigator on the seas.

𝐞 = 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫, 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭?)

there’s a lot of guilt involved when it comes to nami ending a relationship, no matter how long or short it was. if you’re part of the crew, then it’s even harder. she’d want to try and fix the issue before taking any sort of action; if, however, the damage was permanent or there was no more love in it, then she would do it as gently as she could. she might get angry, but she’d do her best to handle things calmly and without a fight.

𝐟 = 𝐟𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞(𝐞) (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝?)

nami would be pleased to settle down with one person, although marriage is another matter entirely. pirate weddings are easy enough, though rarely recognized by the government, and she would be happy to buy some nice clothing, a pair of matching rings, and have a ceremony on the bow of the going merry or thousand sunny. it wouldn’t be until after the two-year timeskip, however. 

𝐠 = 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲, 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲?)

with a partner, nami is equal parts gentle and tough. she wants what’s best for you, and does what she can to make sure that you’re happy and comfortable. she does have a temper, which is something to keep in mind. her love can be a sharp-tongued lashing or a gentle kiss on the forehead, depending on the situation. physically, she’s never violent towards any partner, even playfully so, and handles them with the utmost care.

𝐡 = 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐬 (𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐬? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭? 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞?)

nami likes hugs and is always giving them casually, at least where her partner is concerned. a quick arm around the shoulders in passing, a little squeeze when you first get up in the morning, she enjoys showing you affection and receiving it in turn. it’s also the most she’s comfortable doing in public, so it’s the easiest way to reaffirm that she loves you and wants you close. her hugs are warm and firm, with a bit more pressure just before she lets go.

𝐢 = 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥-𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝?)

it takes a long time for nami to build up to saying that she loves you. it’s nothing personal, just a result of the trauma she’s suffered and her own fear of losing the ones she loves. when she does say it, it’s done almost shyly. a hug, the press of her cheek to yours, the words mumbled out in a huff. ask her to repeat it, and she will, though she won’t quite be able to look you in the eyes.

𝐣 = 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭? 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬?)

her partner will always be the most precious of her treasure, and her protectiveness and unwillingness to share is only a natural side effect of that. she isn’t possessive and has no issues when it comes to you spending time with anyone else, but she doesn’t tolerate other people trying to take you away from her. the ones unlucky enough to flirt with you in her presence are quick to receive a dressing down and the full effects of her temper. it’s never directed at you.

𝐤 = 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞? 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝?)

nami’s kisses tend to be playful: quick pecks on the cheek or lips in passing, a little nibble on your earlobe to make you blush, it’s all harmless and charming and easy. in the more quiet and intimate moments, her kisses linger on your skin. she doesn’t have a particularly favorite place to press her lips—all of you is sacred to her—but you can gain an upper hand if you kiss her shoulder just above her tattoo.

𝐥 = 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧?)

she doesn’t have much patience for children, although she tries her best. most of her life was spent with kids calling her a witch because of her service under arlong, and some of that bitterness remains long after she’s no longer trapped under his rule. she’ll be polite, but too much time with them wears her nerves thin.

𝐦 = 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦?)

nami is up early and likes to have a cup of coffee on deck while she feels out the weather and the currents. she doesn’t linger in bed; if she does, her routine is thrown off quite a bit, so it’s easiest to get up with her and join her for her morning charts. she’ll spend most of the time chatting about the wind and the temperature and what all of it means, but if you just curl up with a blanket and doze back off she doesn’t mind letting you sleep on her lap.

𝐧 = 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦?)

because private time is so limited while out at sea, the night is when nami is at her most physically affectionate. she wants to shower with you and to go to bed at the same time so she can soak up as much of you as she can before daylight comes and the ship comes alive. her favorite way to fall asleep is tangled with you, your heartbeat under her ear.

𝐨 = 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 (𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬? 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲?)

once arlong is no longer a threat to her, nami is incredibly honest at every opportunity. she rarely lies, unless it’s to an opponent, and what dishonesty she does engage in is always short-lived and easy to see through. she doesn’t have much to hide, and tends to wear her heart on her sleeve.

𝐩 = 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲?)

she’s notoriously short-tempered when it comes to the antics of some of her crew—particularly the men—but with a partner she’s far more patient. she doesn’t like to argue with you, or to stew on things, so she tries to handle any disagreements as soon as they crop up so there’s no lingering frustration. you’ll hear her shout, but it will never be at you unless you’re doing something monumentally dangerous. standing in front of a canon, say, or diving into the sea if you’re a devil fruit user.

𝐪 = 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐞𝐬 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠?)

nami remembers a good deal, but she isn’t going to recall every little detail of everything you’ve said unless she writes it down somewhere. she knows the important things: what you like, what you dislike, your birthday, your anniversary, etc. what’s a little strange is the details she does remember. you swear that you mentioned preferring a certain sort of toothbrush once, in passing and half in jest, yet that’s the kind she always gets for you. 

𝐫 = 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩?)

her favorite moment in her relationship with you is the moment she realized that she loved you. there were no fireworks, it wasn’t an oh moment. you were seated on the deck, doing something that you do every single day, and the sheer warmth and contentment she felt being in your presence was enough for her. second to that is when you admitted your own feelings, but she’ll always remember the scent of the sea and the soft lull of your voice and the sunlight in your hair.

𝐬 = 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝?)

nami is protective, though she does her best not to smother you or treat you like you can’t handle yourself. she’s always lending an ear, keeping an eye on you, ready to be at your side in an instant if she thinks you need her assistance. in battle, she tries to stay as close to you as she can, particularly if you’re on the weaker side when it comes to combat.

𝐭 = 𝐭𝐫𝐲 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧��𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐬, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬?)

she goes all out for anniversaries and gifts. nami loves you so much, and gift-giving is her primary love language after quality time, so she can spend days selecting the perfect things for you. dates are given the same priority, with her planning everything to give you the perfect experience. day-to-day, she’s a hard worker who does what she can to make sure that everything runs smoothly aboard the ship.

𝐮 = 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬?)

while it’s never directed at you, you will have to learn how to manage her anger. nami is easily frustrated, particularly by certain members of her crew, and the days where she doesn’t shout at one of them are rarer than the days where she does. if you’re upset by it, she’ll work on handling herself in a more conductive and healthy way so she doesn’t cause you discomfort. 

𝐯 = 𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 (𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬?)

she knows that she’s beautiful, but she doesn’t spend hours preening or talking about it. most of her vanity is shown by her shower routine, which involves a fair bit of pampering, but nami isn’t afraid to get dirty if she needs to, and she’s never been self-obsessed with her image. what’s most important to her is being comfortable, even if her idea of comfortable clothing can skew towards being revealing.

𝐰 = 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 (𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮?)

nami has experienced loss, but that never makes it any easier. if you’re out for the day or occupied somewhere else on the ship, then she’s fine. if you leave, or die, or disappear, then she isn’t. she misses you and thinks of you no matter how long you’ve been apart. eventually she would start to heal, although there would always be that empty place where you used to reside.

𝐱 = 𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚 (𝐚 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦)

she smells like citrus, honey, and some vague spice. it’s a tantalizing combination created by the products she meticulously selected.

𝐲 = 𝐲𝐮𝐜𝐤 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞, 𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫?)

stealing from her, lying to her, treating her as though she’s less than for whatever reason, being cruel to others, attacking her crewmates, and/or mocking her or the ones she cares about will turn her off in a heartbeat. she doesn’t like slovenly partners either, nor those who take what they have for granted.

𝐳 = 𝐳𝐳𝐳 (𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬?)

nami tends to sleep either on her back or on her right side, with her hands on her next to her chest. she’s a light sleeper, unless she’s injured.

#one piece #nami #one piece nami #nami x reader #sfw headcanons #sfw alphabet #abyss writes