#which is maybe why im harping on it so much more

[oflgtfol]

i really hate to be rewatching this show just to compare it to s3 like truly i just want some wonder and whimsy in my life again as a break from being a hater, but still, rewatching s1 is really just reminding of WHY im disliking s3 so much

so a relatively minor thing about s3 that has nonetheless been irking me is how weird and unnatural and stilted the dialogue is. it just feels so flat and empty. and even the way pedro is voiceacting for din just makes him so monotone and flat - and im not even blaming pedro for like, bad acting or anything, im blaming the direction because the same thing is evident in the written dialogue itself, and obv pedro has been doing fine before this. but overall both the written dialogue and the voiceacting makes din just have like.. no personality whatsoever.

and then contrast it with s1. din really is generally a monotone, minimal words kinda guy, even back in the beginning, but he still had a personality despite that. its the way he said those minimal words that delivered that personality, like theres still the subtle emotion behind everything that really endears you to him and makes the monotone quality like, less of Oh No, Protag Has No Personality, and more of an actual TRAIT of his personality

just listen to this scene! he speaks pretty flatly but its more in a gruff detached way, and he still emotes underneath it which shows his impatience and resignation! he emphasizes words and changes his cadence to stress things, and just overall the way he says “you understand? great.” i dont get this feeling from anything in s3 so far its like din is just Saying Words to keep the show rolling and nothing else, no more subtle characterization and subtle emoting. Sighs

i dont know if im wording this right but just overall the line delivery is so different and so much better in s1 and i cannot believe s3 is so bad so far its got me marveling over the most basic ass shit, like full on writing essays about a random 40 second scene like this

#brot watches the mandalorian #even eps 1-3 had me ooing and awing over the fact that like din RAISES HIS VOICE! GASP #HE EMOTES !! #i think this trend thats particularly evident in s3 may have even started in s2 #which is maybe why im harping on it so much more #but then again the general decline in quality started mid s2 its not contained in s3 alone #its like yes i love our monotone king but i also do love the subtle ways he emotes which is like #so important to me and really notable DUE to the fact we cannot see his face #so i have always from day 1 marveled over the subtle ways he emotes from just the way he tilts his head or the slight change in voice tone #so on and so forth #and so to remove one of those fundamental aspects is to just like. remove somethung i reallt enjoyed abour watching #about taking in all these little details and piecing them together to get a complete idea of this guy #who otherwise doesnt show much - on purpose! hes literally faceless and nameless #at this point innthe show at least #so its FUN to watch and still say I know who you are despite that #to figure out whats going on inside his head despite the fact he does everything to remain unknowable #which is why the monotone gruff thing he has going on is an actual personality trait - its all part of his standoffish thing #the stay away from me im minding my business i am serving nothing #BUT THEN YOU GET THE SUBTLE EMOTIONS DESPITE IT #the cracks in his metaphorical (and literal!) armor !! to peer behind the shield and see who he is anyway!! #SORRY. SORRY I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT DIN #head in my hands MR DJARIN ‼️‼️‼️

[thefiresofpompeii]

i know this is like. minus fourth world problems + autism, and maybe other fandoms have similar issues — i’ve never gone too deep into fandom spaces before and regret doing so — but. why are doctor who fans such incurable haters. i started watching in november after the specials aired and although i’ve been severely critical of certain unfortunate writing choices (as is my right. episodes that suck are… bad) i couldn’t fathom hating an entire series, an entire doctor’s/companion’s run let alone an entire showrunner’s tenure. you mean you can’t stand any of it??

it almost feels like… whenever i come across a person that loves to talk about nine and ten and donna and how much they loved wild blue yonder or w/e, they end up being a shallow moffat hater harping on about misogyny and one-dimensional women as if later series didn’t exist. whenever i find a fellow twelveclara understander who posts about missy and defends hell bent etc. suddenly i come across a post about how they hate rose? what could possibly compel you to dislike the character of rose tyler? i say this as somebody that isn’t a huge fan of tentoo. for more batshit examples saw a post along the lines of “don’t say you think tenmartha is interesting and then post about timepetals” like these are Characters bro. they’re not going to get sad. they are vehicles for the story they’re not people. tenrose was the carrier of the narrative in s2 and tenmartha in s3 and saying i enjoy the complexity of both of these relationships as they progress isn’t contradictory because that’s… the direction that the story takes????????

i don’t even hate chibnall era. even s11 has some redeemable bangers. what i mean is i fell in love with the show as a WHOLE . which means EVERY part of it is important to me and i don’t discount it. every next development builds on the previous. the timeless child ruined a lot of things but opened up many new avenues for exploration! i like the flux i like thasmin i like dhawan master i like the fugitive doctor i love dan and karvanista

you are all allergic to fun. sorry for getting mad about people getting mad it will (not) happen again. im going to go touch grass now

#jamie.txt #dw #doctor who #not adding any more tags this post is not a discourse starter in fact it’s the opposite of that

[yc-shiya]

danganronpa universe dashboard simulator

💔 monoslayy Follow

rlly it’s not “pretentious” to not find the newer seasons better?? listen i love the new ones as much as anyone else (ESP DANRON 48 UGHHHHH WTFFF) but to act like the junko twist is still subversive is just WRONG

😈 junkosgirl04 Follow

Literally who said that lol this is not an unpopular opinion at all

💔 monoslayy Follow

are you biased maybe “junkosgirl04”

☠️ the-sauna-scene Follow

they did him so dirtyyyy 😭 we do not talk about this hair ATROCITY!!! its not even funny

🌟dangan-wrongpa Follow

I find it really interesting that you so-called “sympathetic” Danganronpa fans are always harping on about the tragedies of the characters played by *REAL LIFE ACTORS* rather than the later seasons when the showrunners recruited and killed *TEENAGERS* for money and views. It’s one level of wrong to be a fan of the show and still acknowledge its problems, especially with the newer releases. It’s something else entirely to still be talking about seasons one, two, three…and completely ignore the ongoing human rights violation that is modern day Danganronpa. You people disgust me. I sincerely wish you could take a better look at the media you consume, because it’s actually, LITERALLY killing people.

☠️ the-sauna-scene Follow

not reading that

🌟 dangan-wrongpa Follow

wow! posting fetish art of REAL LIVING PEOPLE too! literally nothing shocks me anymore with you freaks!!!

🍬 kimurasgf Follow

hey wait arent you the guy who auditioned for season 53 pitching yourself as the ultimate vtuber? lmfao?

🧈 death-by-balls Follow

If i had a nickel for every danganronpa man ive loved who was executed and turned into butter, i would have three nickels, which isnt a lot, but its weird that its happened thrice

#in 1 then 13 then 39 #they were cooking tho ngl 🔥🔥

🍀 hopefulservant Follow

listen i can be fucked in the head sometimes but we srsly gotta take a step back and consider how the series is exploiting mentally ill people for content. i mean, whens the last time we had a double or triple murder where the killer wasn’t already, or eventually revealed to be, mentally ill? What is that saying, exactly??

💣 togamicorp Follow

more👏neurotypical👏serial👏killers👏

🔪 chapter3sweetheart Follow

OP i have some news about your best boy

🍀 hopefulservant Follow

….agh…….my worthless talent…….

🎹 warriorsofdope Follow

okay can someone tell me why im seeing ship discourse about danganronpa 48 again? i thought we all played the same game and came to the consensus that the optional romance event with the whole class was universally canonical

🔮 30-percent Follow

Some of us didn’t get it on our playthrough 😒 also Sorry but I don’t like some of the cast of danganronpa 48. I don’t want them all shipped together.

🎹 warriorsofdope Follow

I can’t forgive you . Im gonna have to kill you for having that opinion.

🌟 dangan-wrongpa Follow

you shouldn’t ship the cast of danganronpa 48 because half of them are confirmed clones of Junko. go through chapter 5 again if you forgot.

🚀 femmesakura Follow

SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES SHUT UP ABOUT THE JUNKO CLONES

THAT THEORY WAS DISPROVEN IN DANGANRONPA 49 STFU STFU STFU HOW ARE PEOPLE STILL THINKING THIS?!?!?

🐹 gundamwenttohell Follow

dont bother with him hes the vtuber guy

#danganronpa #I FIND THESE POSTS FUNNY SORRY…. #the discourse would be unimaginable. even moreso

[jakowskis]

SOMEONE ELSE WHOSE FAV GWEN MOMENT IS HER RETCONNING RHYS 🤝🤝🤝 briefly became the joker of my friend group for saying how much I love that scene. it's a delight

ITS A GREAT SCENE they were worried abt leaving it in the ep bc they knew it'd polarize fans + i know a lot of ppl do in fact hate that scene (gwen bashers who cant handle women's wrongs 🙄) but i love it. im a rhys enjoyer + i think he deserves the best AND i love how fucked up gwen treats him, these things can coexist. gwen and rhys are easily the most compelling canon relationship in tw to me just cuz they feel very real - we spend the most time with them and we see their ups and downs so often. i love how they oscillate between lowkey toxic as hell (people always hold gwen to a high standard but there was def a few times rhys made me 😬 over how he talked to her, too) and cute + stable. i love how theyre fucked up too, like with rhys being an everyman they could've easily kept him & gwen's relationship in a very boring uneventful place but no theyre nuanced anyway n i love it.

and with gwen! it's such a good peek into what kind of person she is (/pos - well, /pos in a sense of like 'i don't judge characters for their actions, i judge characters for being boring, so if a character compels me by having a shitty moment THAT'S wonderful'). i love the manipulativeness of it, the selfishness and desperation. gwen's 'tell me im good tell me im good tell me im good' (dee from iasip) moment hfsdjkds. she doesnt need genuine forgiveness (in a sense of rhys going "i know what you did and i forgive you for it"), she just wants empty words to give herself some peace of mind, bc if she actually told him she'd risk losing him and she isn't willing to let him go... i love that. i love it sm.

also interesting that it's featured in an episode about base human nature, about humans being stripped back to what's underneath, specifically the ugly bits - one of the themes of gwen's character is that she's a very "have my cake and eat it, too" sort. she's constantly trying to balance things that aren't compatible, like there's... mmm i can't think of or find a vocabulary word that implies an emotional/relational sort of greed dhsfkj. but that's present with her character as an underlying theme, it's like she spreads herself thin but not necessarily in a way that's detrimental to her? it's like she has this perpetual need to juggle many things just to prove to herself that she can. maybe she needs the stimulation, i dunno. i think it's an interesting quality. i think it's also something she's not necessarily proud of, maybe she feels gluttonous in it, which is why i mention it in the context of the 'combat' episode, where mark harps on and on about how modern men are angry and frustrated but not allowed to be, and how he thinks they should give into that base emotion in order to evolve. gwen does her own version of this, with pride/greed instead of wrath - she gives into her own selfishness, and her character evolves as a result. not for the better, according to some, but i personally find gwen's moral devolution super compelling. (also, on another note, the men feeling justified in giving into their ugly rage even though it's not socially acceptable, and in fact it not being socially acceptable makes them even more interested in doing it - but the woman giving into a cruel instinct but feeling intense guilt and shame for it even though it's a private moment... sounds about right.)

also ive said this elsewhere but in the director's commentary of that ep burn gorman was clapping his hands and giggling over that scene HFKSJDH one of us

#i thought i replied to this when i got it oops #anon #meta #a lil bit #idk if ive rlly tagged my meta previously whoops #txt #torchwood posting

[juni-ravenhall]

15. Which Race is your favorite? Why?

16. Which Championship is your favorite? Why?

17. Which Quests were your favorite? Why?

18. Which Event is your favorite? Why?

19. Do you prefer Story Quests, Side Quests, or Limited-Time Quests from Events?

20. What part of the Main Story is your favorite?

so many of the questions r so good i just sent a bunch sorry 0//0

- Jaoi

dw they are meant to be asked XD

Which Race is your favorite? Why?

i dont rly have one off the top of my head but i liked the new jumping course with an actual points system. sso races lack too much in well-designed challenges so i think its a good update. i also like the dressage in theory but i havent really played it yet this year bc im too exhausted to think. i prefer champs to single player crosscountry races since it feels like an actual challenge.

Which Championship is your favorite? Why?

firgrove is the one champ i actually do for fun... maybe new hillcrest champ can count in there too, tho thats more like "do it just to see the drama when the top spots die in the swamp". im still getting used to valedale champ but i keep getting lost and confused, it has potential but i feel like its a bit too chaotic so u dont even know whats going on and its easy to get completely lost if u get too far behind the other players. the other new champs are fine too.

Which Quests were your favorite? Why?

prob the nightdust story. i really wish sso had animated cutscenes throughout the game. (now we have some, but the current writing is so boring and disconnected from the existing storyline that i cant feel anything about the cutscenes. it doesnt feel like its the continuation of the same story.) i also liked the part of the main story when elizabeth died and we were stuck with alex in pandoria for a bit, bc at the moment that felt pretty dramatic and we were in like a unique location and stuff actually happened that had some kind of consequence. but even if i say that, lisa's song thing in that scene was kinda out of nowhere (bc they had just redesigned the soul riders shortly before and released her new music but it didnt feel connected to the previous lisa we knew yet - who didnt actually sing in sso at all besides us playing that harp one time? so her singing to guide us out felt generic rather than heartfelt bc we didnt really have a relation to this version of lisa.) and i liked the saving herman stuff.... and the rania and saving the lake in mistfall stuff.... i liked when we went with the rangers into wildwoods for the first time too.... theres also a lot of funny smaller quests i liked, like the original big bonny quests, the jarlaheim mayor guy, ed field, flooding the baroness cellar, igor stuff, the bridge building guy whos scared of heights, idk, stuff thats not really important to the story but silly in a way that made me laugh. i dont think the current writers are likely to write anything like that tho.

Which Event is your favorite? Why?

for now i dont really know, im not enjoying any of them that much. i guess it will be interesting to see what camp western is like this time. i love yule and winter time in general as a person but i dont necessarily care that much about the sso winter event, i love the snow though. halloween trail ride is fun but i feel like the excitement of seeing it the first time is completely different than doing it repeatedly year after year. i mostly wish that they would shave down the events into much smaller things and focus on the permanent storylines, fleshing out existing npcs and side stories and areas, and on releasing new areas alongside the story taking our characters there. i think making the events have so much going on (except none of it is especially fun) was a bad choice that took too much time and resources from the core development of the game. ppl wouldnt complain much about having nothing to do during events if we got consistent new quests and other stuff unrelated to the events imo.

Do you prefer Story Quests, Side Quests, or Limited-Time Quests from Events?

story and side quests, i really dont care about the events (aside from that one ydris halloween when galloper was trapped in the tower. i remember walking up to the portal and hearing the party music fading in for the first time, and how mc actually got to use magic.... cool times, but i still dont think they should do stuff like this for events unless they have a really good idea and the resources to execute it. its better as part of the main story.)

What part of the Main Story is your favorite?

mostly already answered in a question above, i feel like prob my fav is when we went into epona and started discovering the whole CHILL thing and saving herman bc that had a lot of excitement and mystery building up (which then fizzled out due to bad management). i used to really like talking to the different npcs across jorvik bc they had distinct personalities and problems, and often its like, its actually a bigger problem connected to the larger plot, but what we hear is how that thing affects local people on a smaller scale and they dont even necessarily think about some grand evil plot, theyre just annoyed they have extra paperwork, or confused why their thing isnt working anymore. idk old sso writing was both silly and really fun and immersive.

#ask game

[ghostcrows]

an obsession with being a good person might even be the easiest way to find yourself doing heinous shit. it is THE insecurity to end all insecurities and it is the one that you need the most feedback from others to confirm. you can kinda talk yourself into a more positive or neutral place with things like body image or your general competence in whatever skill areas, but you cant really just decide that you are a good person without other people weighing in on it. and the obsession will make it where you cannot handle being told that you fucked up because, only bad people fuck up i guess

i dont think its something where like, you can never ever say "sometimes i feel like im evil" or something, or never ask for reassurance, but you also really ultimately have to tackle that demon by yourself because no one else is ever gonna be able to tell you anything that will stick. its like, how many people have to tell you youre attractive before you believe it. more people than you'll ever meet. more people than exist in the world. which is to say fucking no one. because it's up to you at the end of the day

and i also think that it genuinely puts the idea in peoples heads the more you harp on it. like. they might start to even wonder if maybe you are bad because you sure talk a lot about how scared you are that youre bad, every time you do something bad, instead of like, apologizing normally. self awareness can make things actively worse. if you knew, if you know, then why. you know. why say it. im speaking from direct experience, of the person who fucking sucks in a given situation

it is a delicate tightrope when you are someone with intense and self destructive emotional landscapes. when you have so much more of this crap in your head than anyone else, its like, hard to say "yeah vent anytime friends should let each other vent" or "its ok to ask for reassurance" because...it is...but...you're you , and you have so much more than anyone can feasibly handle. sometimes maybe you are just on your own. you have to learn how to cope by yourself. you just have to if you want things to be stable in your relationships

#at the very least you have to know when it is appropriate to be on your bullshit. there are MANY times where it just isnt

[the-lightless-flame]

for the ask game: all of the agnes ships (jude, gertrude, jack... any others?)

(if you are so inclined)

would love to!

(link to the ask game)

ive not talked in detail about agnes in way too long..

idk if im supposed to do explanations but i will anyway. ill keep them under the cut tho bc they got longer than i expected

judeagnes:

look these two were the least healthy bitches alive but i mean. they lived together for a decent amount of time. theres no way they didnt fuck theres no way

one day i might make a post about what i think agnes' relationship to sex is and it will all be because of the very specific opinions i have about these two

they compel me but the reason i dont put it higher is probably just that its less of a ship i think about a lot and more of something thats a fact of life to me. like yeah they fucked obviously they had a long and messy relationship what more is there to say. thats probably also why i put it more far to the left than it maybe should be but oh well

gertrudeagnes:

to me gertrudeagnes is like. what they have going on is extremely complex and definitely at least a little homoerotic and i do think about them a lot. but also its so much more than that

i dont really ship them in the sense i think theyd be a good pairing, but i do think a lot about how crucial they were to each others lives on a thematic and literal level and thats much more important to me. would you call that shipping or something else? idk but i do like them alot

they did only meet once but i do think that the night they had after killing emma harvey was potentially the greatest sex in lesbian history

jackagnes (jagnes? i cant remember which one it is):

look ive gone on record as a jackagnes hater and i do have a lot of Opinions on it but in interest of not extending what is already a fairly long post ill try not to harp on it for too long

i think for me it comes down to the fact that really i dont see why jack's perception of agnes (as a partner) is any more trustworthy than jude's (as a goddess) or arthur's (as a prophet), for example. being other than what people expect is the thematic cornerstone of agnes' arc, and theres not really much i can see about jack that suggests to me it'd be any different for him

i should say actually that i do think he's very interesting as a character, but really i see him more as the idea of agnes being idealised even outside of the cult than anything else

(also i could not think of any others that would make sense to put alongside these which are kinda the main three but. if anyone has any other agnes ships i would honestly love to hear suggestions, serious or not)

#im sure that people will question my x-axis placements. and tbh ur probably right but this is my blog i do what i want #no hate to jackagnes enjoyers btw. i feel like i get really harsh on jackagnes but really its just not my thing #i dont really see it but you do you we are a big proponent of ship and let ship in this house #i forgot how long stuff can get just on accident. this happens basically every time i talk about agnes i shouldnt be surprised #agnesblogging #asks

[askaniritual]

I always lean more towards actual romantic feelings in my diamonds, which is why i find dave/rose pale (and other humans that are related in paleships) to be so fuckin weird. People act like Moirails are interchangeable for siblings or bffs but in my mind thats a cop out

yeah i tend to agree. i understand the idea of having trolls mistake dave and rose for moirails because they literally have no cultural concept of siblings but like. tbh it feels like usually ppl r doing that for the hiiiiilarious Implications which is like to me stupid at best

i also feel like its kind of a copout to present moiraillegiance as something that we have a 1:1 cultural equivalent for when the whole point is supposed to be the alienness of it. personally i like when its presented as something that is specifically romantic but not sexual purely because i am very interested in trying to tease out a meaningful difference between matesprits and moirails and i think if you acknowledge them both to be fundamentally romantic then its more interesting to get into how they are defined in alternian culture. not saying that i always feel like the fic i read makes a convincing argument for that lol but its interesting to see different takes!

in my experience i've found that the people who tend to be really into doing interesting stuff w the concept of moirails tend to be the same ppl who are very into playing up the more alien/animalistic aspects of troll society. im cool w that, i like xenobiology as much as the next guy but!!! i hate when fics get way too into the like "highbloods are fundamentally physically and psychologically different than lowbloods" maybe just because ive read a lot of gamkar which Really harps on this particular topic but i just feel like it gets so eugenics-y so fast in a way that i really do not care for. but that being said i think moirallegiance frequently presents an interesting opportunity to explore dominance and submission in fic, especially in the context of a society that is frequently imagined to have much stricter consequences for letting your guard down around the wrong person and i like to see that explored as well

#allegory of the hive #asks #madam-melon-meow

[astrolaurical]

Looked through all your #life in korea posts and I have to say it: this is soooo refreshing. Finally someone who’s a fan but also can say things as they are. I’ve been following your blog for a while but didn’t look at the tag before so I just found out. It is exactly what I always say when I talk to other kpop fans and especially bts stans: dont forget to look at them as men bc at the end of the day this is what they are, men. Men from a very misogynistic country. Also (maybe bc im christian but idk) dont really like the term “idol”, it makes it easier to forget they are human beings. Human beings with crazy talents, amazing entertainers and great musicians, yes. But why is it considered so bas when you point out the human aspects of them?

https://at.tumblr.com/astrolaurical/like-jungkook-really-does-seem-like-a-bit-of-a/a2awocxguurv

When it comes to jungkook tho, it is so much worse. So many delulus thinking defending him will make them his girlfriend, when they just look so… ignorant? I think is the best word. They dont know and dont want to know. And it is even worse when you see it happen in conversations in real life and not just online. Majoring in Languages and Cultures it is one of the first things they teach you to not glorify a culture and to not indulge in the “honeymoon phase” when travelling, to see things in context and from all perspectives. So it is even more surprising to see colleagues at university studying my same subjects, acting so rude and personally offended when you let them notice these REAL things. so crazy to see so many people turn a blind eye when it comes to their favorite kpop stars. Jungkook is great and so talented and so handsome but he is also a korean man and it is ok to see him for that. You’re not a hater if you acknowledge it. (Sorry for my english, not native)

YES TO ALL THIS

I minored in anthropology and they always harped that same thing so I’ve always had a kind of detached way of viewing cultures which helps to separate me from my own American culture to see the positives and negatives and can then do the same to others while finding common links in all.

I was a major stan of 1D. Then they all started excessively partying, especially during the Midnight Memories era. Like there were pics of my beloved Harry peeing in the bushes with his translucent white butt out for the world to see. That was when I was like whoa, Simon Cowell is losing his grip on the PR side of them it seems. And then it all went downhill from there. Fighting on Twitter. The random baby they concocted for Louis that disappeared. More drunken nights out and being caught with illegal substances.

That was when I was like: I was infatuated with the MARKETING of these boys. They showed their true colors and I don’t like it AT ALL. Like if we hung out in real life I would be MISERABLE because I don’t party. It was a huge wake up call to idol life and ever since then I take everything with a grain of salt and whenever I see any celeb do an interview I decode their words through the lens of how someone not media trained might say it.

And bts have shown their partying sides before. Remember In the Soop s2 where Jimin got so wasted that he hurt himself?? I could easily see Harry being replaced by Jimin in that photo. They both are charming and like to make others laugh. And who’s to say that BTS don’t have photos of each other in compromising positions like that. Hobi has that huge hard drive of pics. And RM showed how he struggles with his true self VS his idol self in the latest Run BTS episode. I think that is a PERFECT example of how they really cover up their true selves all the time.

#ask #one direction #harry styles #bts #life in korea

[sofipitch]

Im curious for the show in how theyll take inspiration from source material here. Like I think I will enjoy it knowing its not meant to be an exact adaption- though Im curious how they will handle Claudia with the actress being a grown person (or really all of them being aged up) Or Louis with his arcs of guilt and repression- when this time he starts owning a bunch of brothels and maybe has a past male lover? Im curious tho optimistic

I'm kind of confused bc this ask isn't a question? I can also only answer these to the best of my knowledge bc I'm not one of the show runners, I'm just some guy 😂

But if you are asking why I support the show and it's changes I'll say that I personally hated being a teenager and in this version Claudia will be 13. I think that is plenty young enough to feel stuck in one's body, which is Claudia's main issue. The show runners have said child labor laws were a reason they cast someone who was legally an adult but I think Durst was the only possible youngest Claudia. She was 12 and already an accomplished actress when she took the role, I read that Neil Jordan wanted a trained child actor since it's such a hard role for a kid to play an adult. The behind the scenes in my dvd copy Durnst even says at the time she didn't really understand what her character Claudia was going through, looking back as an adult made it make sense, so I'm guessing she probably had good stage direction for Jordan or other crew. So at the end of the day, I think to have someone reasonably play a character who is mentally an adult they needed to cast someone older. We haven't gotten a lot of images of Claudia but it looks like from the 2 we have she is still a "child".

I also kind of feel like comments that Bailey Bass is too old are rooted in racist stereotypes. Black girls get seen as "older" and "sexual" much sooner than white girls. Some of what I have seen ppl say about Bailey Bass has really disgusted me. I don't think you should be commenting on this girl's body parts, even if she is "legally an adult". She is still leagues younger than the ppl I see commenting on her body.

For the other characters I also prefer for them to be older. Lestat not having a fully formed prefrontal cortex might explain a lot of his bullshit but I also agree with others in saying that AR consistently saying the most attractive men alive are 21 (and later 20 and then 19) and her harping on how attractive Armand is (who looks 17) sounds more like a fetish than realistic. It's an old post by a friend, now @hedonisticgene but it was his old blog I think, said "Have you ever met the college kid who thinks he's a sex god? That's Lestat". So I do think making the characters older will make them seem attractive and charming and also have ppl not inquire too much about their lives be realistic.

As for the brothel it has the potential to be as morally repugnant as Louis having been a slave owner. I think fanon and late canon woobifies Louis so much that his general weak moral backbone is often ignored. Remember in the book IWTV Louis does not object to kill humans "bc it's wrong morally" but bc he thought it was an aesthetic experience he should work his way up to. He also describes his slaves in some awful ways, so I don't really think brothel owner is out of the question. And when it comes to Louis's repressed sexuality, well wouldn't it be the best cover, if you are gay and don't want others to know, to own a brothel. I am aware some ppl read Louis as bi while others (myself included) see him as gay. I also read IWTV as the interpretation that Louis's struggle to come to terms with vampirism is his struggle to come to terms with his sexuality. And Louis doesn't shy from telling us he went to whorehouses or that he maybe had feelings for Babette. What he shies away from is admitting his feelings for Lestat. So I think Louis being repressed has more to do with internalized homophobia than sex in general. So I feel like surrounding yourself with a whole bunch of hot women would be the best way to be "I'm totally straight! Look how straight I am!" 😂

I have my reservations about the show like any fan. These books (well the first three) mean so much to be I'll be devastated if this show sucks. But honestly for me it's not in these kind of small details, to me what matters is the character dynamic. That's what I love, and as long as this show scratches my brain the same way the books do I'll be happy.

#asks #vc

[nonclassyparty]

also please tell me that san "fucking up" in act 8 won't be him cheating on boyoung... if it's that kind of fucking up then there's truly no hope for him and he won't deserve y/n OR boyoung.

idk is it just me or do i hope for happy endings for all involved parties? i think y/n and mingi would be happy together, if they could get past their current feelings towards each other. because let me just say this, y/n and san don't belong together. it's one of those things where you just know two people aren't right for each other, they're not the one for each other. and i think that's where the heartbreak is coming for y/n, the fact that she desperately wants to be the one for san, but she's not. boyoung is.

i'm not sure what exactly is gonna transpire between the current act 3 and the letter y/n has written, but considering what you said about boyoung not being one to do anything wrong at all, i genuinely think that it's not fair for y/n to assume boyoung's got a superiority complex. if anything, y/n might just be projecting her own complex. i know this story is supposed to be mainly focused on y/n, but i think boyoung has a lot of potential and room for growth/development. maybe now she's all timid and shy, but i really do hope she can learn to grow into a more confident person that doesn't allow bullshit from anyone, including y/n. i just think a story is more interesting when every character is fleshed out really well. i also hope boyoung learns that she deserves more than what san can offer her (i'm guessing his fuck-up in act 8 might still have something to do with boyoung, which is why y/n mentioned in the letter that they were broken up), and i hope that san understands what a good thing he has, and doesn't let his past get in the way of his future. i truly do hope they can be happy together, regardless of what y/n and her vanilla-sex hating ass might think.

if it seems like i'm harping on y/n too much, my apologies 😭 i don't truly think i'm on anyone's side tbh, my only wish is that each major player get the character development they deserve, including y/n. i think you're a really capable writer and i'm excited to see what comes next!

there will be no cheating because he really does have feelings for boyoung 😭

also boyoung IS insecure. while writing this story, i really tried to make her be the most stereotypically shy, timid, sweet good girl she can possibly be to fit the overused trope and most of them have major confidence issues. and sure, she might have things going on that we dont know about but i personally dont care much 😭. if i open wattpad and go through the good girl/player trope, any backstory of the female oc will fit as boyoung's backstory as well and since in act 3 san let yn know how he actually felt about her and she'll sort of back off from him (and im not saying give up on him completely but she'll be focusing on other things in her life)- there will be no need for me to work on boyoung more since yn wont have any altercations with her that would require boyoung to have any character development (it might sound lazy but im personally just bored of her character so i dont want to spend more time on her than i have to 😭)

i think the letter sorta led all of you in the wrong direction which is definitely my fault since im the one who wrote it but its going to be fun when you guys find out whats ACTUALLY going to happen lol

[sesmantelar]

where has the time gone? why have I not been journaling and pouring my emotions here? lately, I have been doing a lot of shadow work so I can stop being in denial and get to the root of all the issues I face. I ensure that I do it in my physical diary because someone somewhere or some website had mentioned how it encourages a deeper connection with the mind and body as opposed to just digital. I still want to update here regularly though. life has been whatever lately. i'm looking to get a stable/consistent job in my city so I can relax and stop doing these crazy long drives. I work here again tonight, which I am not looking forward to, but I'm allowing myself a nice easy and restful day to set me up for success later tonight. I really want to cancel the 4 hour shift tomorrow. I have zero desire to ever come back to this place if I had a say. and to be honest, outside of these final few shifts, I do not believe i'm going to be picking up here again unless I end up in extraneous circumstances again. it's time to put myself first even more, and than means maximizing ice, exercise, and me time aka working closer to home. this coming weekend, I have my first harp recital! my harp instructor is telling me to engage in positive self talk to get through this because I do not feel ready. but im going to do it. it's at a nursing home ironically, so hopefully this may lessen the sour taste I have and give me a positive outlook. im going to go for it, and if I mess up, at least I tried. I need to find an appropriate Dres for this event however. I'm planning on testing bronze and maybe canasta tango this week on the ice. I'[m also hopping back into my OMAD. the last two weeks had two dates. I went on a beach camping trip, and then I met up with the cute coworker I used to work with at that old hospital. both dates went well, and I am proud of myself for not allowing myself to get super attached to knowing the outcome of this situation. I give up trying to know everything and give it all to the universe. I no longer have control. however, I have a gut feeling something is going to come of the situation with the coworker. im trying to think of any new crazy updates but I don't think anything super monumental has happened lately. however, I do know that I have been in a bit of a slump again. my period came twice in a month, after bumping my protein intake up to around 170g. I'm at a point in my fitness journal where every. single. day. makes an aesthetic difference. some days, you can see my 11 line abs - other days I look soft and like a teddy again. I obviously ate out at the beach, and this new guy took me to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. and I have been having some wine lately. Im not forcing myself to not have it because I enjoy it, but it must fit into my macros for it to be a weekly thing. so I need to stage another mini intervention. it now seems that every single week is an intervention for me. number one I keep skating. my weekly lessons serve as a stark reminder about my progress or lack thereof during the week. number two I MUST START STAYING HYDRATED. I need to stop "leaving" It for work because it never happens and I know do not know the last time I drank enough water number three STRICT STRICT STRICT 170g protein 50 net carbs, calories below 1400, 22 hour fasting outside of dating! stay ready so you don't have to get ready number four attend the CODA meeting on Monday night in person! number five sign up for shifts this week and start catching your finances up number six MUST READ EVERY SINGLE DAY. FIRST THING I DO UPON WAKING UP. number seven get your manicure on Monday. for some reason, when every little thing about me is together, I feel much more together in the larger aspects of my life

stay ready so you don't have to get ready.

[truitt-story]

It Hurt 'Cause It Had To | Terpsiana

Date: Mid December, after the Winter Ball

Featuring: @terpsichore-of-hesiod

Warnings: None, just sad :(

TIANA

When Tiana had told Cora she wasn’t going to the ball, she promised they’d get drinks some other time instead. And now, “some other time” had arrived— and Tiana was happy to see Cora, but it wasn’t uncomplicated. She felt embarrassed that she’d skipped the ball simply because of her aversion to the Evy situation. And she was afraid that Cora the real reason, even after their last conversation.

So she wasn’t in the best mood when she got to Pixie’s. “Hey,” Tiana said, leaning in to give Cora a quick kiss. “Good to see you.”

CORA

Cora had shown up to drinks expecting it to be more than just a few drinks - and not in the fun way. Things with Tiana had been… well, strained was maybe putting it mildly. Things were weird, and Cora hated weird feelings when you could just air things out, so she was sort of expecting them to have a decent talk tonight.

In a way, though, she still didn't want to push her luck. She smiled as she took a few steps towards Tiana, sharing that brief kiss before she reached for the door. "You too," She smiled, holding the door open for her. "C'mon, I'll buy the first round."

TIANA

Tiana smiled and followed Cora into the bar. “Thanks,” she said.

Maybe this was actually… like, a new beginning. It was almost the new year, right? A good time for a fresh start.

“I’ll do a negroni,” she added. “What are you getting?”

CORA

Cora nodded to the barman, signalling one negroni. "I'll get a whiskey sour, please," She added, smiling as the bartender went off to grab their drinks.

"So," She said, turning to Tiana again whilst they waited. "How've you been? I missed you at the ball the other day."

TIANA

“Oh, y’all still had fun,” Tiana said dismissively, though she kept her tone lighthearted. She didn’t have, like, confirmation of that. But it was Cora. Of course she’d had a good time. And she’d be lying if she wasn’t a little irritated that Cora was acting like she wouldn’t have brought the mood down. But she wasn’t trying to start problems.

CORA

Well, yeah. She did still have fun. Cora was not one to make herself miserable out of spite, or… any reason, really. She shrugged, relying, “Well, yeah. Still missed having you there, though.” Although, she was starting to doubt how much fun Tiana actually would’ve been.

TIANA

“I had work.” Why was Cora harping on this? (She wasn’t). “Anyway, I said we’d do something else. Which we’re doing. So.” The irritation started creeping into Tiana’s tone more obviously.

Okay, so maybe she wasn’t trying that hard not to cause problems.

CORA

Her jaw worked a little, the tone of Tiana’s voice pulling her brows down into a frown.

“Which I didn’t force you to do,” she said, because had she? No. Tiana had suggested it. And yet she was acting like Cora had pulled her there by her hair. “If you didn’t want to meet up, we didn’t have to.”

TIANA

“I didn’t say that. I was just saying, like, I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the ball, but it’s not like I didn’t plan something else, so you don’t have to say all this about how much you missed me,” Tiana scowled. She was being unfair here, and she knew it— Cora hadn’t meant anything negative by those comments, and under normal circumstances, Tiana would have apologized for not being there and asked how it went and the conversation would have moved on normally.

This wasn’t normal, though. Things were weird between them lately, and Tiana had a sinking feeling that it was her fault, no matter how much she tried to find a way that it wasn’t. So it was easier to read bad intention into what Cora said, to try and absolve her own guilt. It didn’t really help, though.

CORA

“What’s up with you?” Cora asked. The barman set their drinks down and then made a speedy retreat. Cora never took her eyes off Tiana, demanding answers.

“You’ve been mardy for ages. I’ve tried to talk, you brush me off. Im not letting you brush me off. Tell me what the hell is up.”

TIANA

Tiana stirred her drink with its straw, but she didn’t drink it. She didn’t know why she’d ordered it. She didn’t even really like Campari.

That was probably not what she should be focusing on right now. She should answer Cora’s question. But she didn’t want to, because she knew the answer, and it was the wrong one. It would make her look petty and jealous and pathetic, and it would make Cora upset.

But both of those things were already true, weren’t they?

“I’m not brushing you off, I just don’t want to fight because it’s not like we get that much time with each other to begin with!” Which yes, Tiana was aware was her own doing.

CORA

Cora rolled her eyes, taking a swig from her glass that definitely didn’t give her time to appreciate the effort the bartender had put into it.

“You don’t want to fight, yeah,” She said, laughing mirthlessly. “You know what, Tiana? I can’t imagine how hard it is to have your own business. It must be hard to manage your time. But I’m busy too, and I have always tried to make time for you. And anyways, I don’t think that’s even the issue! I think you would’ve said, if it was.”

TIANA

No, it wasn't the issue. It was just an easy thing to blame. Because for as long as she could remember, Tiana had been a busy person. It was practically a personality trait at this point. And it was a reliable excuse, too— any time she didn't want to do something, oops, she had work.

So what did it mean that it had become her excuse for this, too?

She sighed. "Yeah, I know, it's not," Tiana finally said. "Look, the truth is that— well, the truth isn't nice, and it's not fair to you, and that's why I didn't want to get into it, and I know I just need to get over myself. I just- I shouldn't have come today. I obviously wasn't in the right mood for it, and now I'm just making things worse."

CORA

No, she assumed the truth wasn’t nice, but that didn’t mean they could just ignore it. Cora didn’t like to tiptoe round people. She had tried to give Tiana space, hoping that it might get her to talk.

It hadn’t worked. And to be honest, Cora was a bit sick of trying.

“What’s making it worse is you not just telling me what is wrong,” she sighed, shaking her head, looking down and away. She liked Tiana a lot. So much. But this? She didn’t know if this was worth it. “I tell you what. Tell me what’s actually the matter, or I’ll go, and we can just call it a day.”

TIANA

Part of Tiana had hoped that Cora would just say it for her, so she didn't have to say it. But Cora wasn't a mind-reader, and Tiana knew this.

She could let Cora walk out, she supposed. But she didn't want that either. And maybe, somewhere deep down, she did want to say it.

"I can't do it anymore!" Tiana blurted out. "The whole- open relationship thing. I know I said I'd get over it, and I'm working on it, but it's not that easy and I wish I were better at it because I really like you and I don't want to lose you but I just— like, maybe I need more time or something. I don't know. It's just making me feel a little bit crazy and so, yeah, I'm sorry if I haven't been in the best mood."

CORA

She had a feeling it was that. Which really sucked, because Cora just… she wasn’t the type of person to be nailed down. She wasn’t sure she would be good at monogamy. From past experiences, she would feel trapped, and then resentful, and then she would lash out, like when white women took home coyotes and then wondered why they got bitten. It just… it wouldn’t end well.

But she also didn’t want it to end. She liked Tiana a lot. So much. She chewed her lip, and when she looked at Tiana she offered her a small smile. “I think that’s an understatement.” She pointed out. Bad mood didn’t even cover it. “But I… I don’t know that I can change. I like you a lot. But I… I don’t do well, in relationships. Commitment is not my strong suit, not that kind of commitment, anyways. And I really don’t want you to make yourself miserable or crazy, not for me.” @emma

TIANA

Tiana wanted to be mad at her for that, but she couldn't. Because, first of all, Cora was right— it was an understatement. But also…

Well, it was that smile that told her that, even if they were fighting, they were kind of on the same side.

Because despite it all, despite the guilt and resentment and hurt feelings and jealousy and every other thing that was mixed up in the past few months, Tiana cared about Cora a lot. And she knew Cora cared about her too. Maybe if Tiana had cared about her less, she wouldn't have tried so hard to shield Cora from how she really felt about their relationship. Maybe. But now she had to care about Cora enough to actually listen to her.

"I know. And that's why I didn't want to say all that— like, I don't want you to be someone you're not," Tiana said. "I just… don't know what we do."

CORA

She shrugged her shoulders a little, that small half-smile still lingering on her features. What did they do? Cora didn't know either, really. Well. Not true - she just didn't like the only solution she could think of.

All she knew was that Tiana deserved to be happy. They had been seeing each other for long enough that if she was going to be cool about it, she would be by now. But she wasn't, and it was driving both of them mad, Tiana's bad mood making Cora want to tear her hair out. It sucked, but…

"I don't think there's anything we can do," She said, still with that comiserating smile. "You're you, and I'm me. And I think we just have to… accept that."

TIANA

"Well- I've been trying to," Tiana sighed. "I've been trying to accept it, but it's not working. Which I guess—"

It was only then that it dawned on her what Cora was probably saying.

"Oh." Tiana nodded grimly. "Yeah, I see what you're saying."

CORA

She waited for the penny to drop, and when it did, she pursed her lips a little. She really, really didn't want to do it. But what else could they do? Breaking up really seemed like the only thing left.

"If it helps, I'd really like it if it didn't have to end," It didn't help, she knew, but she wanted Tiana to know that it wasn't for lack of feeling. "But I just… I don't want us to keep plodding on when things are bad. It's not good for anyone involved."

TIANA

Tiana shook her head. "No, it's not your fault," she said, starting to choke up. Goddammit. She did not want to do this here. Why had she invited Cora out, to have this conversation in front of all these people?

Maybe because she'd really hoped they wouldn't be having this conversation. But Tiana saw now that it was inevitable. And she'd been lying to herself, telling herself otherwise.

This thing was always doomed. From the moment Cora had said she wanted to keep seeing Evy, and Tiana had told her that was fine, even though it wasn't. Tiana had really been lying to herself from the start, and Cora too.

Why did she always do this? How did she always get herself into these impossible situations?

Tiana stood up. "Sorry, I think- I think I should probably go," she said, because she really didn't want to cry in public. "You're right. Uh, let's just call it. But, uh, thanks for everything. Really. It was nice." God, she sounded like she was ducking out of a business meeting early. A tear escaped and Tiana swiped it away instinctively, burning with shame.

CORA

Maybe she should've known better than to do this in public too, but at the time when she'd agreed, she'd hoped that they might have a nice time. Everything just magically healed, no bad vibes, just the two of them, having a drink, talking, laughing, like they used to.

(Of course, there was the little voice in her head that had reminded her that it would probably end in an argument, and the even littler, more maniacal voice that had said good. Let them argue in public. Let them air it all out. Because Cora never pretended to be someone she wasn't, so what did she have to lose? Thankfully, at least, it hadn't come to that.)

Cora watched her for a moment as she stood, but when she saw the tear that just managed to land on Tiana's cheek before being swept away, she jumped to her feet as well. "Hey," She said, reaching out with one hand to pull Tiana briefly towards her so that she could kiss her again, just one last time. "Sorry, I just - well, y'know." She didn't really know how to explain herself, but she hoped Tiana would understand. "I'll see you around."

TIANA

Tiana had tried to leave quickly because she knew lingering here would only make things worse. She would cry, she would say something embarrassing, she would make a scene. That was why she didn't plan to kiss Cora goodbye.

But Cora reached for her, and Tiana couldn't blow her off. She just couldn't. Because it didn't matter the conclusion they'd reached— that they weren't right for each other, or maybe the timing just wasn't right— Tiana's feelings were as real as ever.

It was a strange thing, kissing someone and knowing it would be for the last time. At least, for now. Maybe someday Tiana would be glad she did it, but right now, it just made her sad.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "See you around." And then she was gone, drink left untouched on the bar.

#cora #it hurt cause it had to #</3 #one thing about me im gonna use brandi carlile for all of tiana's breakups

[orionatus]

? (01-04, 2022)

1.

I've spent all my time doing nothing for no good reason as thoughtless conversations take place Which is a bit of a contradiction since thoughts they always are

I am thinking all the time so doing nothing i guess im not Although my thoughts race me laps and leave me so far behind It's like I'm an empty spinning shell, and my worlds a twisting blur And the only words I've got are a massive twisting slur

Yet when i see you my world stops spinning and I'm not so dizzy My thoughts stop and stop they never do yet they come to a halt whenever im close to you

Whenever i look into your eyes its a color i do not see for i am far too busy looking at the person underneath I see a person who is miles ahead of me in nearly every way A girl who inspired me to start living, who inspired me to write and I see a beautiful girl who im still in love with even after 50 nights

But this love is unreciprocated so next time eye-color is all I'll see Though you'll forgive me if i forget, you're just such a pretty sight to perceive

2.

Your beautiful brown hair Like a waterfall smashing into the basin that is your shoulders A sight I know all too well

The way the waterfall morphs when you lay your head down It's a pond with many creaks Your beautiful brown hair

Your hesitant hazel eyes Trading glances like moments of purity A sight I know all too well

The back of your head is most of what I see But what lies there is delightful Your beautiful brown hair

Your angelic harp-like voice Often shattered by laughter A sight I know all too well

Will you ever read this, ever hear this I dont know but at least Your beautiful brown hair Is a sight I know all too well

3.

I love the way i can see the your smile through your eyes, dear god that smile its a lovely sight, a lovely sight indeed.

I am far too intimate with your hair, i swear to god i see it everywhere Every person who slightly looks the same, my heart skips a beat, then filled with shame Your every fiber i wish to speak to so gently, gentle enough maybe youd fall for me?

I love the way i can see the your smile through your eyes, dear god that smile its a lovely sight, a lovely sight indeed.

i wish i could write it all down, cause for you my feeling ail to the rooftops i go with something to say, something to wail My heartsong heartsings and alas my feelings set sail

but a song unrehearsed is a song that sounds bad a second of rejection my heart, it twas not glad Then my brain stopped thinking, stopped thinking it never has My lips were pursed and sputtering twas acting like a spaz

All this time has passed me by however and a realization i have struck I do not need someone like you in my life. And the me without you is the me who remains quite happy So I will forget about you and label the memories left quite crappy

4.

My writing is trash yet my work even trashier Even this bad still helps calm my more thrashier -

thoughts. thoughts. thoughts. My mind was racing and still racing it is But much more less so and so less so it is -

more. more. more. It's one 1am more time wouldnt help me please god send someone to help me i will write 50 slides of please youve gotta help me but cries into a thoughtless void tis no ones gonna help me

help me. help me. help me. please i need help of any kind or shape or color please i need help i need help i need help im bleeding in my brain why cant i do this work please someone please explain

at least i could get a rhyme still make this poem good please god help me im not doing so good i would kill myself thats not a joke i would kill myself. i would kill myself. maybe hang myself from the great oak, maybe jump off a bridge and go splat on the water jump from a tower go splash on the ground, cut my wrists open- I'd be making the sound

if i hid this among 50 pages would you see it? would you belive it? I will not kill myself, myself i forbid it.  Page one of 50 pages will have this one on it. I'm sorry for not working. I'm sorry for not working. I'm sorry for not working.

5.

I want to scream my lungs out Feel your breath on my neck The nape of which is screaming for attention That it cant wait to get

You're all of what i desire Fully embraced I'm feeling like a coward Above my neck is such a waste

A dumpster is what's my brain The fallacy you wanted to play Take a bow And throw your trash away

Fill me up with sludge And let the pink all drain out It all feels like hot fudge And eating sauerkraut

[theeblackrabbit]

Damn looking back on some of these posts can be painful, I understand a loss of trust can lead to feelings of betrayal but I was in danger of becoming as bitter and resentful as the people I chose to walk away from.

I still find it hard to believe they decided to drag my name through the dirt while playing the victim card instead of maybe thinking I’m going through something tangible or perhaps had lost trust in them? It likes...am I crazy in thinking it is unhealthy to jump from one single point to an extreme? Though maybe having distanced myself fully from them I’m seeing the faults I never saw before? Like a carebear will be find with you up to that one point you overstep or undermined some vague unspoken rule or value they had HENCE making you the anti christ in their eyes. I get waking up to find yourself deleted can be hurtful if you don’t have a strong emotional value (add onto that a brewing pandemic) though can it really hurt that much when you don’t hang out with the other person? ...Or you were unkind to them when they thought their dad was dead and then proceeded to spew out ‘posative’ nonsense like ‘we are all in this together’, ‘this is a safe zone’, ‘no judgement allowed here tis is a no judgement zone’ (gods my brain is overheating from this drivel) that they might get tired of it all?

Maybe I could have been more open. Though I don’t think coming out with a ‘hey friendos Im sucidcial and self harming while dealing with a spiralling deep depression HAHAHAHA HOW WAS YOUR DAY! :DDDDDDDDD’ was really needed during covid isolation. Hell I’m 100% convinced they would have told me to stop being dramatic or have just left it unread...cause it was all smoke and mirrors.

I’m not funny about it anymore if anything I am just confused with how much of a mountain they have drawn up from a mole hill :/ I keep wondering if covid turned them into a pair of narrassits or if it was me leaving that did that. That they only way they can deal with it all is to paint up someone to be the villian while they play the hero? I’m by no means saying I am not to be frank I am more getting the thoughts down on paper - they can blacken my name as much as they want it seems to have backfired on one of them hence their handle changing (or they think it will put me off their scent while its all pointless since i still have the sub notification in my inbox . v . which updates with name changes...gods they are stupid).

But yeah I am less worried about the whole thing now if anything I’m thankful for having stepped away with what I was going through cause no one needs that in their lives. Fake friends are bad folks to have around you yet toxic friends are far far worse - you can have the anti rabbit party as loud as you want over there a dip into the pond last September was all I needed to clarify my suspicions of ya.

Thank you though ~ thank you for the final lesson you both taught me :3

Thank you for making me stronger Thank you for showing me not to trust those that scream about friendship so loudly Thank you for making me judge others on merit and actions rather than harping on about love and friendships

And most of all    Thank you for teaching me to part from those that break my trust ^^       I’ll follow my gut feelings and watch out for red flags much better now

#fuckoff? Why dontcha #staylost :3

[asterekmess]

Heyo! So I’ve been in the sterek fandom for quite some time now and I’ve been wondering about how you would describe stiles’ personality?

I’ve never actually sat down and watched a full episode of teen wolf (and honestly I’m not sure if I ever will considering everything I’ve heard about how they treat derek and his history but idk who knows I’m very curious in a lot of the plot lines and character development), and a lot of the stuff I know about the show I’ve scraped from fics, gifs, and meta posts

For me personally, Stiles’ personality and characterization is so fluid and nuanced that sometimes I have trouble pinning him down (tho derek doesn’t have trouble with that *wink wink*) So I would love to hear your thoughts! Sorry for the long ask, this grew legs and an ugly mug shdhdhhdjdcj anyhow have a great day :D

Well, everybody's got different perspectives and opinions on Stiles' personality, honestly. Even when you try to stick to 'canon' things, there's a lot of room for interpretation on the why when he does things, or what it says about him as a person, etc etc etc.

Personally, I see canon Stiles as kind of an asshole. I mean, I love him, and he does some incredible things, and he's clearly got an intense love for those close to him. But I do make him kinder in fics, or I at least make him regret being a dick.

In canon, we're given a Stiles who cracks 'dead baby' jokes (he's talking about human sacrifice, so the conversation was already plenty morbid. This wasn't out of the blue.) Who begs for Scott to let Jackson die (though it's made clear that this wasn't serious, and he later works to save Jackson's hide like ten times over), and who will mercilessly poke and prod at people's insecurities or painful pasts, especially when worked up. Isaac's previous abuse isn't a no-go topic. Derek having 'dated' (read: been assaulted at worst and at best, been lied to) serial killers isn't something he's going to tread lightly around. He doesn't try to soften things to save someone's feelings most of the time.

He's presented as someone who is incredibly impulsive, with his emotions, words, and actions. It's kind of implied this is because of his ADHD, but that doesn't explain how often the impulsively cruel or harsh things he says aren't retracted or apologized for, or just generally regretted. Yes, ADHD people are impulsive, and yes sometimes our mouths get away from us and we can end up saying some Fucked Up shit to people because we literally couldn't control the words coming out. But that doesn't mean we're cruel or evil or mean. We still feel bad for doing those things, and those of us who are decent people, try to fix or repair what we've messed up. I am...not a fan of how often ADHD is used as an excuse to make a character a dickhead because "he has no filter." No filter means we struggle to control our thoughts and what we say, it doesn't make us heartless.

So, when I'm writing him, I fix it. Even if he still Does something fucked up, I have him care that he did it. I have him realize what he did or said wasn't okay and respond to that knowledge in some way. Which to some people, means I'm just ignoring what a fucker he is, but imo it feels like a horrible fuckup on the creator's parts, so I'm just correcting the mistake. He's no less Stiles just bc I taught him to say sorry.

Anyway. I'm trying NOT to ramble here.

To answer your question, as best I can; Stiles is sarcastic. Stiles is passionate to a fault. His emotions are BIG, whatever they are. Good, Bad, or even apathy. Whatever feelings he has are just intense. He is very much a no gods, no kings, no masters, kind of man. There isn't really an 'authority' to him, except maybe his dad sometimes. He puts family, and those he considers family, First. But that doesn't mean he isn't selfless. Because he is. Incredibly so. Uncomfortably so.

He walks into gasoline for his friends. He puts himself in the position of losing the only parent he has left, for his classmates. He cares enough about strangers to insist a drunk girl he's spoken to for five minutes max stay hydrated and give her a bottle of water. He literally handed over his mind on a platter to a fox demon for someone he barely fucking knew, to keep her safe.

Loyal. Humorous. A fighter. Family-oriented. Clever. Passionate. Strong, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And a very good liar, in my opinion.

He doesn't lie very well in the show, not to people's faces. He'll stumble around a "I haven't seen him since the last time I saw him" or "are you asking me to tell you what I would have told you if I were going to tell you it?" but at the same time, he can repress and hide away his feelings and his pain in a way not even Derek manages.

He asked Caitlin questions about her girlfriend, and worked to solve the human sacrifices, literal minutes after finding out he'd just lost his oldest friend. He drove Lydia to the warehouse to save Jackson after having the shit beat out of him by a man who'd been learning to cause pain since he was a CHILD. And he never gives away how incredibly broken he is for more than a couple seconds. and it's a little frightening, because he convinces people in this show who are lie detectors that he's okay, when he's a fucking mess. Even Derek shows his pain.

You're right that he's nuanced, and part of that is because when you see him in meta or in fic, what you're seeing is a dozen versions of him sort of compressed into a flat image. Because he changes throughout the show, and while some of his core personality stays the same, a lot of stuff changes. So one fic might harp on his insensitivity, and callousness toward Isaac or how easily he says "just let them die" when talking about Derek or someone else. And then another will dive into how fucking far he's willing to go, travelling all the way to mexico and facing down a hunter clan a dozen times more powerful than the argents with no one but a banshee at his side, just to get Derek back. Or how he saw Malia hurting and sat with her on a couch and held her hand. One is a much earlier version of Stiles, from the start of the show, the other from his midpoint. Near the end, you're able to say that he was so torn about leaving Derek while he was dying, he had to be Begged to go save Scott. That he manipulated an ENTIRE FBI investigation in order to save and protect Derek. (im focusing on derek bc sterek, but also bc his relationship with Derek is the Biggest Arc he has in the show, and the most solid)

You're going to read about different versions of him, and I totally get how that's confusing.

We all sort of bleed ourselves into him and either bring certain canon characteristics to the forefront, or straight up add our own so he's more relatable to us.

So while I can't really help you pin down any specific Stiles, just know that there's not really a 'true' Stiles that anyone can confirm or deny. It's all just perception, so however you see him, go with it. Strengthen it. Explore it. I'm sure you'll find people who see what you do.

#personal #meta ramblings #go for it