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#which really means stay safe.
evakant · 2 years
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people’s favorite the untamed scenes  —  for @trans-xianxian
jiang cheng’s take care
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hecksupremechips · 3 hours
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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atsu-i · 8 months
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Hello, I just saw the anon ask talking about you not being on tumblr that much anymore and we don't really talk to eachother (I think we only ever exchanged messages once), but I wanted to say, while I can, that I have wonderful memories of this website and a lot of them include seeing the mangacaps that you reblog or reading your tags, including all of the occasional venting and even some of the adorable auntie stories.
If you allow me to ramble a little bit, I want to talk about the blog that you called "shitty" and how I think it is actually really cool.
You might not think that you do much because you mostly just reblog stuff, but I feel like all the mangacaps that you reblog are more meaningful than most people think. I think that they are an act of self-expression and throughout the years I've felt like those kinds of posts express a desire that people have to be more honest with their feelings and put them out into the world. I've felt like the mangacaps, combined with all of your text posts, probably do accomplish some of this.
I am not going to say that your blog changed how I view life or anything like that, but I can say that your blog, along with many other similar ones, have seriously been a part of my journey of better understanding myself.
For example, today I liked a post that had a guy feeding a cat in it. And I didn't like the post because the art was amazing. I liked it because I thought that the guy is gentle and that aspect of gentleness resonated with me personally. And obviously, there are times where I might like a post just because I think that the art looks cool, but I think that a lot of times when I'm browsing through tumblr I'm just learning more about myself through the things that I like.
Maybe the whole thing isn't supposed to be that deep, but sometimes (not always) for me it is. I think that this whole thing feels unreal for you because you don't put a lot of effort but I think that it is pretty cool that a bunch of people like the blog despite that.
As always, have a nice day and drink some water.
;-;
#wasnt expecting a reply to that anon reply but tysm for....somehow telling me how you felt about this blog#and somehow me?#also just like the anon...i wanna say ty for appreciating this blog of mine#like seriously I just reblog stuff that resonates with me#and sometimes I just rant and share stuff I wanna share and yeah sometimes I just reblog coz I find it pretty#also the manga's i read shows i watched and will watch...its all here lol and it's...how should I put it#it's just me and somehow it doesnt feel 'real' that anyone will give attention to it? am putting myself out here and not expecting anything#but somehow...some of you notice and am like why lol coz you know my content.....it's very depressing most of the time tbh#anyways haha i still remember you btw haha we talked I think twice? waayy before and am glad I did#thanks for rambling to me...it's always welcome btw#I like reading what you guys think and feel#and somehow I always receive kindness which I think I still dont deserve but you still give it anyway#all I could do is say ty ;-;#like this blog really is my escape tbh....and some of you appreciating it makes me sad and glad at the same time? ;-;#really tysm#and yes am rambling too in my response haha i hope it doesnt bother you reading all this nonsense lol#again ty idk how many times i should say it but yeah#this means a lot...you and everyone else who appreciates me being here#and with that....I would like to say have a nice day/night dear!#I always stay hydrated lol but yeah i hope you do too ^^ stay safe yeah?#oh also! thanks for thinking the blog is cool ;-; you are nice for thinking it that way ;-;#lastly ty for still following me and remembering stuff I shared on here even the personal stuff#again tysm ;-;
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onepiexe · 1 year
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was abt to go to sleep and boom
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inkykeiji · 1 year
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CLARI BBY WHEN ARE WE GETTING A NEW GOJO FIC?
HEHEHE I DUNNO ANON BB uhhh i’ll probably feel like working on it when season two starts airing!!! i have a great idea for a gojo fic that i love so much that i definitely do want to finish,,, at some point,,,,,, hoping seeing him animated again will help motivate me to get it done!
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arthur-r · 1 year
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hello world i am in my real bed for the first time in a week this is so strange
#i have been sleeping on a shiatsu table and it’s been like. fine. cause my regular mattress isn’t very comfortable anyway but there’s like#i mean. i have a closed door. this is cool and nice#say what you will about living with my dad but. i have a room. that’s nice#and my guitar is here and my record player and my inserts on the walls and my brown leather jacket and my st bernard pillow pet#i’m really liking what the apartment is becoming but. it’s good to be home. kind of#anyway i’m listening to this weird cool computer riot grrrl album that i can’t quite decide if i like#it definitely isn’t me. but it’s cool and i enjoy it. like that vocaloid creator loolin sent me pinnochio p!!#i definitely appreciate it at music. and i’m gonna listen through it. it just would create a different bluer version of myself#and i’m not interested in entertaining that possibility. so i’m gonna stay here shdhdf#there’s like a grey side of myself that i go into for like. normal riot grrrl. which i like#like i’m grey when i listen to dazey and the scouts and that’s fine by me. but when you add computers it’s blue#and i’m not interested in being blue. i like staying in a safe brown yellow midwest emo#or venturing in a different direction it can get more electronic while being orange. like hobo johnson or green day#and yes i understand the irony of green day being orange. shdhdf. let me live that’s just how it is#and so anyway. this is very much blue music and that makes me uncomfortable. but it’s pretty good and cool#(hunger for a way out by sweeping promises)#not sure how good of a descriptor computer riot grrrl is but that’s the emotions i’m getting of it so that’s why i’m calling it that shdhdf#anyway i’m pretty tired but i’ll be up for a while longer probably#idk. there’s no school tomorrow but there is the next day. but i’ll also be at home and there’s some sort of advantage there#more sleeping through the night so later bedtime? theoretically? less waking up from people upstairs#but anyway. i’m here and i’m listening to music and i’m in my bed. and that’s pretty cool#i’m around if anybody needs anything. but pretty tired so sleeping soon enough#me. my post. mine.#delete later#friends only
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explorerspack · 2 years
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say one thing about me if i’m gonna get a character permakilled it WILL be narratively satisfying.
#cha:arcis#c:megadungeon#rip to my girlie i really am so sad about it but at least it was fucking COOL.....#so poignant to get killed by something that is trying to protect the stolen artifacts and hidden knowledge of the city#she came to this city for the knowledge! to protect it and spread it and know it and most CERTAINLY get it out of a dusty closed off room#so perfectly fitting to get killed only INCHES away from all these relics and books and symbols of knowledge but not able to investigate any#SO delicious to have taken the front line for once instead of staying safely in a corner#and to have taken the front line away from MAX! she ended up where she was bc max was in a rug and we needed a buffer!#no max getting killed trying to tank this time!#SO delightful to have sort-of accidentally baited a wizard duel and to have my own tricks turned right back on me#and the imagery of getting swarmed by these animated books and having the amber wall slam down behind her....#standing alone at the front of the room...'fine. that's fine. let's fucking play.' which she may not have said as a threat but which i've#decided she certainly DID whisper to herself in krutske#wizard hubris!#and then saving on hold person allowing one last look back at her party and one last solid nod#a nod meaning 'thanks' and 'you know what to do' and 'goodbye' and 'see you later' and 'well. here we go!' all at once#and then the train station....the camera cut the black....#AUGH!#beautiful mix of symbolic and also fucking cool. if you've gotta have a pc death that's not a bad way to go at all.
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#delete later#tw eating issues#tw eating#im having real fuckin difficulties with food atm#like its been happening for a bit but i can't dtop thinking about it rn. like every possible food feels just ew at the moment aside from#very specific things that often are outside of what i have or outside of my energy level or capability#like i cant eat bread atm bc every time i think about it i can taste mould#i can't eat chicken dippers or nuggets or fingers etc bc the chicken texture feels like sandy mush to me rn#im forcing myself to eat the foods my brain currently feels are safe but it really is like that could all change#at any moment#it means i can't get like large amounts of food in bc theres no stability to what i can and cant eat. which means im having to like stock#up more often which makes me anxious bc it feels lke im wasting money#i know it isnt a waste bc eating is essential and anything that gets me to eat is a win but fuck man#i need to buy a fucking frying pan so i can at least try frying again bc im running out of fucking meals to make#only a matter of time before this shit gets unpalatable!#fucking brain#i also did a bad thing and checked my BMI which i shouldnt have done and thats defo making it worse even though i know bmi#is a scam and there is no longer a reason why i feel i need to stay small and unnoticeable#so now i feel too tall and too lanky and too much and that i should be small enough to hide. and my brain tries to tell me#all food is rotten. im having A Time
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alovelymoonbeam · 3 months
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inkskinned · 2 years
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kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.
i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."
goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'
"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.
behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."
"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."
"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."
later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."
she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.
the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?
i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.
but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.
each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".
but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.
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inkykeiji · 1 year
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Have you pulled for tartaglia yet??👀
yes!!! and i got him!! now, however, i am saving every possible gem for ayatoooooooo
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furby-organist · 1 year
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// I've been 2 days in Japan and I can already tell it's gonna influence my world building. There should be a part of Hell that's inspired by here but like only the bad parts, but worse.
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genshin-obsessed · 4 months
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Helloooo~!! Could I request the men in honkai star rail with an s/o who makes various different plushies for themselves and the men?
Just imagine Dan Heng getting a chonky dragon plushie version of himself.
✩ ‒ You guys have the most creative ideas sometimes lmao I would’ve never thought of this and it is such a cute idea!!
✩ ‒ I wasn't going to do everyone but they came out really short so I made it up by adding more characters ^w^
✩ ‒ Characters: Caelus, Dan Heng, Welt, Gepard, Sampo, Luocha, Jing Yuan, Blade
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✩ ‒ Caelus
He’s not the biggest plushie guy out there, but come on. You made it so cute and all.
He keeps it safe in his room and does a pretty good job at keeping it clean. Like dust free and all.
Caelus isn’t ashamed of it by any means, everyone knows about it. He just doesn’t want to end up tearing it or something which is why it's always in his room.
Big fan. You made a couple of yourself and he keeps them together. They're together like the two of you are. He’s debating on getting a dedicated shelf.
✩ ‒ Dan Heng
He originally received two. One of his normal self and then his Vidyadhara half. It’s so accurate, too. He definitely spent a few hours analyzing them both.
He wasn’t sure at first but the longer he had it, the more he began to like it. He kinda sleeps with it now. I mean... they're just on his bed and that's where he sleeps...
You’re welcome to make more but he doesn’t have room to place them. Besides… how many could you possibly make?
He actually likes the little dragon one. It’s so cute, the details are well done, and you seem to really like it too.
✩ ‒ Welt
Aww, a plushie for him? It was so cute! It even had his lil cane and all. Honestly, Welt loves it.
He keeps it with him all the time. When you often go off on missions, he likes to hold it for comfort.
When you made one of yourself, he decided the plushies could never be separated- much like you two. So, basically now he carries two plushies with him at all times.
Pom Pom and Himeko gush over the cuteness of the plushie. You’re really talented, why not start a business at this point? You'll definitely get March or Stelle asking for one too.
✩ ‒ Gepard
He was confused at first. Why did you make a plushie of him? But he really liked it. You even got the shield right.
He prefers it to stay at home where his fellow guards can’t see it because it’s a little embarrassing. He’s a grown man and all.
Ok, but it’s so cute. The little hair, the outfit- the shield! Come on? How is he supposed to remain composed? He will stare at it sadly when he has to go to work.
He had to admit, when you made one of yourself it felt complete. The plushies are always sitting together on his bed. Sometimes, he'll even put a blanket over them to keep them warm.
✩ ‒ Sampo
Omg once he gets one, it's on his person permanently. He loves seeing you work on them, too. It gives him a perspective on how much work you put into them
He’ll give suggestions all the time and you do make most of them. You often make yourself as well and it leads to lots of matching plushies.
Sampo did try to make one himself but it looked horrendous. He tried to throw it away but you wouldn’t let him!
That thing haunts his dreams but you like it for whatever reason. Honestly, Sampo takes that thing everywhere and even learned how to wash it properly.
✩ ‒ Luocha
The accuracy. His hair, eyes, outfit, the coffin- it even opens! Like, the effort that went into that was phenomenal.
Luocha is a big fan and does keep the plushie with him during his travels but keeps it hidden. It's something that reminds him of you (ironic since it looks like him).
He’s rather protective of the plushie. Someone once tried to take it and well… he almost stuffed them in the coffin. Lmao jk.
… ok, he did it once and never again, you can’t judge him, that’s his plushie. You gave it to him, not that rando. And no, it wasn't a kid! Why do people keep asking him that?
✩ ‒ Jing Yuan
Mind blown. Seriously, the talent that took was incredible! You even made a Lightning Lord plushie which attaches to the Jing Yuan one.
He keeps them on his desk at work and no one is allowed to touch them. He's worried others might damage them, but he wants to show them off at the same time.
He keeps the one you made of yourself with him though. It’s his good luck charm. Much like you.
Secretly hates tearing apart the plushie version of you and him. Heartbreaking when they have to see each other go. Sniff.
✩ ‒ Blade
Ok, listen. This is Blade we’re talking about. He can’t just be seen carrying a plushie- and of himself, no less. It’s embarrassing.
Is what he thought until he saw how sad you got when you found out he left it in a drawer. On the pain in his heart…
Now he keeps it on his person all the time. He even learned how to wash it because it’ll get dirty sometimes. No blood gets on it though, don't worry. Just some minor dirt or something.
For tougher missions, he puts the plushie in a plastic bag to keep it safe. It’s like a good luck charm of his. He lost it once and he almost had a heart attack.
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